Im Just Gonna Leave This Here

I’m just gonna leave this here

six.

warning; 😩 1k words

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three.

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𝐀𝐒 𝐀 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 ─── full !

## . PAIRING: jake x fem ! reader

## . GENRE: smut, fluff, teeny bit of angst, childhood best friends to lovers, 90s au

## . WARNINGS: SLOW BURN, vaginal penetration, cursing, oral (both receiving), 90s au, surfer ! jake, drummer ! jake, no explicit power dynamics, mentions of food, reader is mentioned having a mother (the mom is directly talked about/referenced), reader has more of a set personality but not a set body type—body type is NOT mentioned, BRIEF (brief brief brief) non con moment but not w jake & nothing actually happens other than kissing

## . WORD COUNT: 17.7k

## . NOTES 💌 other important information !! this takes place in 1997 specifically, both jake & reader are 18, it's not explicitly stated but the setting is based on Santa Monica in California, USA, also, the sex doesn't happen for awhile because i wanted to establish their friendship first and foremost !! BUT it is there haha other idols mentioned: Karina & Winter of AESPA, Yang Jeongin of SKZ, the rest of ENHYPEN briefly || ALSO the theme song of this fic is "everlong" by the foo fighters :) i hope you enjoy !!

VIEW THE "AS A FRIEND" PLAYLIST HERE !! VIEW THE "AS A FRIEND" MOODBOARD HERE !!

That summer, you met your best friend. Jake Sim and his family moved from Australia—which was the coolest thing to five-year-old you. Jake’s father worked for a well-known international company and been transferred at the time they moved. Since you were the only other kid his age in the neighborhood (there were mostly families with teenagers or newly-weds), he quickly befriended you, even knocking on your door the day after his family introduced themselves to ask if you wanted to play outside with him.

“Hi! It’s me. We met yesterday! I was wondering if your daughter could come out and play?” Jake had asked your mother sweetly after she opened the door for him.

“Hi! It’s me. We met yesterday! I was wondering if your daughter could come out and play?” Jake had asked your mother sweetly after she opened the door for him.

She was, of course, thrilled that there was another kid in the neighborhood, so she sent you out to play with the orders that you be back in time for dinner. You promised you would be and ran outside. And that was the beginning of a lifetime friendship with Jake Sim.

“Let’s play pirates!” Jake suggested, picking a spare branch up off the ground and swinging it through the air.

But you didn’t want to play pirates. So, you crossed your arms and pouted. “I don’t want to play that. We should play house instead! I’ll be the mom and you can be the dad!”

“Well,” he tilted his head to the side, “I guess we could play house. How do you play?”

“I don’t know. You just pretend to be the dad and I’m the mom. And we go grocery shopping and take care of the dog and stuff.”

“We can’t buy anything; we don’t have money!” He looked at you, completely surprised that you would suggest such a thing.

You just giggled, pushing him a little, “No silly. Fake groceries. Like this stick can be a candy cane, and that rock is a loaf of bread!”

“Oh. Well, what about the dog? We don’t have one.”

“We can just pretend the dog exists, silly.”

And that was that. Almost every day that summer, you and Jake played house or went on “adventures” to the end of the street or went swimming with your families down at the beach or spent the days watching movies at each other’s houses (though the movie selection you both had was pretty limited, so you watched the same five movies over and over again usually).

That school year, you both ended up attending the same elementary school and were even placed in the same kindergarten class. So, you were obviously attached at the hip there too.

That was the same year that you and Jake got a set of walkie-talkies for Christmas. Your parents had decided to gift them to you so that you could keep in contact easier during the winter when it was colder and so that you wouldn’t be pestering them to use the phone.

That night, you wanted to try it out, so you pushed the side button and took a deep breath, “Jake? Are you there?”

There were a couple minutes of silence, and you figured maybe it didn’t work or he was already asleep. But then the walkie-talkie beeped, and his voice flooded through the speaker, “Yeah. Sorry, I couldn’t figure out how to make it work at first. But I figured it out.”

And so, you stayed up way too late talking and giggling over the walkie-talkies—something you continued to do well into your teen years.

Later on, in second grade, when a group of girls bullied Jake because he was too kind to stand up to them (“They’re girls yn, it’s not like I can hit them back,” he had insisted), you were the one who stood up for him. You had yelled at them, reprimanding them for being so mean to someone who was too nice to do anything back. And when they didn’t listen the first time, you hit all three of them, not even concerned about your near suspension (“Jake doesn’t deserve to be treated like that,” you had shrugged as you told your parents about it).

When you started junior high, the two of you expanded your friend group. Jake met Heeseung, Jay, and Sunghoon (though Heeseung was a grade above both of you) and introduced them to you as soon as he started hanging out with them more. You befriended two girls, Karina and Winter, and a few boys in the class below you, Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki. And you introduced them to Jake and his friends just as he had done for you.

That’s how the two of you grew from only having each other to having a small pack of people who had your back.

When you were in your last year of junior high, 9th grade, a boy asked you on a date. You were so excited because he was cute and seemed so sweet. And Jake, being your best friend, was excited for you. He helped you get ready by helping you choose an outfit, how to style your hair, and even which perfume to wear. But when he never showed up, you were disappointed. He didn’t even call you until three hours after he was supposed to pick you up, giving a half-assed, lame excuse for why he couldn’t show up.

Jake had been waiting at your house with you and when you trudged back into your room after the phone call, tears brimming in your eyes and your bottom lip wobbling, he immediately stood up to pull you into a hug and comfort you. And then he pulled away, grinning widely, “Let’s just go to the arcade instead!”

And who were you to say no to his sweet smile and kind suggestion?

Your mom had smiled as Jake led you out of the house and to the arcade a couple blocks from your house, promising your mom to have you back before 9:00. That was the first time you had wondered if maybe you had a crush on your best friend. But you pushed that thought to the back of your mind. That was just silly.

“Yn, let’s promise each other something.” Jake looked at you as the two of you walked back to your house.

You glanced over at him too, confused. “Okay?”

“If we’re not dating anyone or married by the time, we’re like… 25, let’s just marry each other!”

“Ew, that’s gross,” you screwed up your nose, pushing him. He stumbled a bit and pouted, holding his heart dramatically as you continued to talk, “I could never date you! You’re like my brother!”

He rolled his eyes at that. “Just promise. You’ll probably be with someone by that point anyways. It’s in, like, ten years.”

“Fine. I promise.”

With that, he grinned at you and the two of you did your special secret best friend handshake before parting ways and going to your houses across the street from one another. You slept easy that night, knowing that you had such a great best friend who would always be there for you.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

“Yn!” your mom called from the kitchen, “Jake’s on the phone!”

You groaned, sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of your eyes. The first day of summer break after your high school graduation and he’s already making you get up early. You pushed the duvet off you and trudged to the kitchen, tugging your fingers through your tangled hair. You took the phone from your mom and walked back to your room. “Hello?”

“Hey, yn!” he chirped, a little too cheerfully for eight o’clock in the morning on a non-school day.

“What do you want,” you whined, “I was still sleeping.”

“Well, I was going to ask if you wanted to go to the beach today, but it’s okay if you’re too tired—”

“Nope, I’ll change right now. Are we taking your car or mine?”

He laughed at your sudden eagerness, “Well, we took my car last time. So, I think it’s your turn to drive us. Plus, your car is better for hauling the boards.”

You figured he was right. You had an ’83 Ford Bronco and it was easier to get the boards in the back when you took the canvas top off than it was to put on top of the ’73 Dodge Charger that he had. The Charger was also his pride and joy, and he hated the thought of it getting scratched by the boards. He had worked extra hours for it starting from the time he turned 15 and started driving his dad’s car to practice for when he could get his license. He had seen the Charger at the used car lot one day and decided he had to have it. So, by the time he was 17 and had saved enough money to buy it, he did.

Your Ford Bronco was half a gift and half earned. You started working at the movie theater to save up for it once you got your license but your parents, seeing how bad you wanted it, offered to pay for half of it as a birthday gift. And that was how both you and Jake got cars for your 17th birthdays.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you moved the phone to your other ear as you sifted through your closet looking for your bathing suit and wetsuit. “Okay, give me a few minutes to change and get all my things together and then we can get the car ready, yeah?”

“Cool. I still have to change too, so I’ll meet you out there in ten?”

“See you in ten!”

He hung up and you brought the phone back out to the kitchen, setting it back on the receiver and then hurrying back to your room to change. You pulled the white swimsuit you had bought two weeks earlier on and then tugged your wetsuit on over it. You tossed sunscreen, a water bottle, a hairbrush, and a towel into your bag before grabbing some snacks from the kitchen and shoving them in as well.

“You and Jake are surfing today?” your mom asked, not looking up as she continued wiping the counter in the kitchen.

You nodded, even though she wasn’t look, “Yeah. I’m going out to meet him right now.”

“Be careful out there today.”

“We will be,” you smiled and kissed her on the cheek, slipping on your sandals and grabbing your keys off the hook by the door.

As soon as you stepped outside, Jake came hopping down the steps of his front porch, grinning wildly and waving at you as he crossed the street. You met him at the driveway, hugging him tightly and laughing as he picked you up and spun you around. Anyone who didn’t know any better would think the two of you were in a relationship. The truth was, you’d just known each other so long that your friendship dynamic was just like that.

“Hi, sweetheart,” he teased, setting you down. “Let me help you load your board and then I’ll go back and get mine.”

“Okay,” You nodded, opening the garage and pulling out the surfboard as well as your surfboard leash. Even though you’re completely capable of loading the board into the back of your car, Jake likes to help anyway. He’s always been like that.

He loaded his things afterwards and hopped into the car after you, sifting through the cassette tapes in the glove box to find one he wanted to listen to.

“Pearl Jam, Nirvana, or Stone Temple Pilots?” he asked holding up a few cassette tapes as you pulled out of the driveway.

“Let’s listen to Nirvana. The first track on that cassette is “Come As You Are” and I really like that one.”

So, he pushed the cassette tape into the car’s cassette player and soon “Come As You Are” by Nirvana started to play through the speakers. You rolled the windows down and the two of you screamed the lyrics as you drove. It was about a thirty-minute drive to the beach from your neighborhood which wasn’t too long of a drive, and it also gave the two of you time to blast music and just enjoy each other’s company.

You turned the music down a little so you could hear yourself talk over it, “Is it just the two of us or did you invite everyone else?”

“Just the two of us,” he grinned, “It’s the first day of summer. And I kind of wanted to spend time with just you. Like we always do the first day of summer.”

It was true that you and Jake always spent the first day of summer break together, just the two of you. Though up until this point you had figured it was unintentional.

“Well, aren’t you sweet, Jakey,” you cooed, glancing over at him and squeezing his hand before focusing back on the road.

He hummed and then reached over to turn the music up again, blasting “In Bloom” and singing along again at the top of his lungs. Once the song was over, he turned the music down again, and you glanced at him to see his brows furrowed, indicating that he was, in fact, deep in thought.

“What are you thinking about?”

“I want to start a band.”

Your eyes widened at that. It’s no secret to you that Jake loved music. In fact, ever since he was young, he’s been incredibly musically inclined. He could basically do it all (which you always complained was no fair)—he had the voice of an angel, had learned how to play the guitar and the bass when he was seven before going on to teach himself the piano at age nine and then taking drum lessons when he was eleven. And he had continued to practice each of his musical talents pretty much every day since then while still somehow managing to be an honor roll student, go surfing with friends, and play team sports at school.

“Really?” you finally asked.

“Yeah. Is that crazy?” he chewed on his bottom lip, thinking it over. “I mean, I already know who I would ask to join. Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Jay. They can all sing. Heeseung plays piano, Jay knows how to play the guitar a little, and I know Sunghoon is really good at playing the bass even if he’s a little shy about showing off. And so, I could play drums. I’ve been playing around with some band names too. And we’d of course start with just covers. Maybe that’s all we’d do. I don’t know. But it could be fun. It would at least be a fun project for the summer.”

You shook your head, “That’s not crazy at all, baby. You’re all really talented and I think you’d have fun with that. Now is the perfect time to start. And there are so many songs you could cover. Plus, I know Hee writes music from time to time and so do you. If you got to that point, you could eventually write songs for your band. Go for it, Jake. I’ll be there to support you.”

“Thank you, yn. I think I’ll talk to them about it tomorrow then.”

“Cool,” you hummed as you pulled up to the beach. “We’re here now, are you ready?”

He grinned at you, climbing out of the car, “I was born ready, yn. The waves look good today.”

“Yeah,” you glanced out toward the ocean, “they do.”

You and Jake unloaded your surfboards and bags, taking them down to the beach and setting everything down. Jake looked at you as you attached the leash to your surfboard. “I waxed my board last night. Do you need to wax yours?”

“I waxed mine a couple days ago. Since I figured we’d probably be using them this week.”

“Smart girl,” Jake teased you, winking playfully. You pushed him into the sand and both of you erupted into giggles.

You both made sure everything was good to go before taking the boards out into the water, paddling further out to wait for another wave.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

“Man, did you see how big that one was!” Jake cheered as you laid catching your breath on the beach next to each other.

“Yeah, it was huge. I’m surprised you didn’t wipe out.”

“Hey,” he pouted at you, “don’t say that as if I wipe out regularly. I’m good at surfing.”

You nod, “You are. Which is why it’s fun to tease you.”

He continued pouting despite the compliment you gave him. The two of you just laid in the sand, your boards next to you. The sky seemed bluer than usual, as if celebrating the start of summer vacation—the last summer vacation as kids. The waves crashed against the shore in a lulling melody and the distant thronging of laughter and chatter from other people further down the beach were in harmony with the sound of the ocean.

“Do you want to swim or do something else?” Jake asked, looking over at you.

You turned to look at him to, grinning slyly. “Well, I didn’t buy a new swimsuit for nothing.”

“Ooh, a new swimsuit?” his eyes widened as you looked at each other. “Let’s see it, then. Did you buy it by yourself, or did you go with the girls?”

“Winter and Karina helped me pick it out. We all bought new ones.” You sat up but crouched in front of him. “Can you help me unzip it? It’s kind of hard to reach on my own.”

He sat up too, reaching for the zipper. His fingers, cool from the drying saltwater on them, brushed your damp hair off your neck so he could see the zipper better. He dragged the zipper down your back enough for you to be able to grab it and pull it the rest of the way down.

You thanked him, standing up and unzipping the wetsuit the rest of the way before peeling it off your skin, shivering as the sun kissed your hidden skin. Once the wetsuit was off and you were only standing in the white swimsuit you had under it, you grinned and did a little spin for him. “Nice, right?”

“Hell yeah. It looks really good on you,” he tugged his bottom lip in between his teeth, but if you noticed you didn’t say anything about it. “The white is really pretty.”

“Thank you,” you laughed sitting back down in the sand next to him and enjoying the feeling of sun soaking into your skin, still slightly damp from the wetsuit.

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but my swimsuit isn’t nearly as sexy as yours,” Jake sighed as he stood to strip himself of his own wetsuit.

You giggled at the pink flamingos decorating his trunks as he shimmied out of the wetsuit and mocked you, spinning in a circle to show you the shorts. “Wow, flamingos. Those are sick.”

“Right? They were on clearance. I had to have them.”

He sat down beside you again, sighing at the feeling of sunlight on his toned chest. The two of you just sat there for a while, enjoying the sunshine. You breathed deeply, comforted by the familiar smell of the ocean and, faintly, fried food from a stand somewhere down the beach. Seagulls squawked as they flew overhead, and children laughed as they threw sand in each other’s faces. This was home. You would miss it when you left for college.

“So do you want to swim now?” Jake finally asked from beside you.

You nodded, standing up quickly. Jake followed you, stretching his arms over his head as he stood. You tried not to stare at his stomach as the muscle there shifted under his smooth skin. You had always thought Jake was cute. That much was just fact. But you tried not to think about how attractive he was to you because it felt wrong to think about a friend that way.

“I’ll race you to the water,” Jake smirked at you, and you grinned back. The two of you were always competitive against one another.

“I’m gonna win this time,” you muttered as he created a starting line in the sand, “I really am.”

“I’d like to see you try.”

(Spoiler, you didn’t win.)

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

“Do you wanna get a burger?”

You were climbing into the car when Jake asked you, eyes wide as he tilted his head to the side. You shrugged, “Sure. As long as you can get us free burgers.”

“Sick,” he smiled, buckling his seatbelt, “You know my job gives me my food for free. I would have gotten it for you even if we did have to pay, though.”

Oh, Jake. Always the gentleman. You hummed in response as you pulled away, leaving the beach behind you. Jake worked at a burger joint not far from your neighborhood. And it happened to be right next door to the movie theater you worked at. So, he frequently got you free burger meals and you helped him get into movies for free.

“Did you have fun today?” he asked, taking out the Nirvana cassette and replacing it with a Pearl Jam one.

“Yeah, I did. I’m glad we got to hang out together. Just the two of us. It’s been a while since senior year was so busy.”

He nodded and then turned the music up. Since the two of you had been friends for so long, words weren’t always necessary. Both of you appreciated just being together most of the time.

You finally pulled up to the burger joint, but Jake told you that you could stay in the car while he picked them up, so you waited. It didn’t take long for him to come back out with the bag of food. You smiled at him as he got back in the car, and he smiled back.

“God, I’m so hungry,” he groaned, opening the bag and peering in at the burgers and fries.

“Wait until we get home. Then we can enjoy it more.”

You didn’t see it, but he smiled to himself when you referred to your house as home—as if it was just as much his home as it was yours. As silly as it was, that made him happy.

The two of you unloaded your car in silence once you made it back to your house, trying to do so as quick as possible so the food wouldn’t get cold.

“We’re home, Mom!” you called as you walked into your house, Jake following close behind you.

Your mom was in the living room, reading a book on the couch. You hugged her in greeting and Jake did the same. Jake had always gotten along well with your mom. She spoiled him as if he were her own son. And he respected her just the same as if she were his mother.

After greeting your mom and telling her about your morning at the beach, you pull Jake up to your bedroom so the two of you can eat in peace. You grab a towel from the closet and lay it out on the floor, setting the bags of food on it. The two of you sit on the floor beside the towel, eating over it so you didn’t make a mess on the carpet. You eat in silence, too hungry to do anything except eat.

Once you’re finished, you stand up, wrapping up the towel and tossing it in the hamper in your bathroom. Then you turned to grab clothes from your closet, talking to Jake while you sift through outfit options, “I’m going to change now.”

“Are you showering?” he asked, looking up at you from where he still sat on the floor.

“No,” you shrugged, “I’ll just shower tonight before bed”

Jake would never say it out loud, but he liked the smell of salt and sunscreen and the outdoors on you, especially when it mixed with your perfume. Maybe he was crazy for even thinking about how he liked the way you smelled, but sometimes he couldn’t help it.

“Also, there are some of your clothes in the closet. I labeled the drawer that has your stuff in it. You can change in the bathroom, and I’ll change in here,” you added, coming out of the closet with a pile of clothing in your arms.

He stood up, making his way into your closet, squeezing past you. He pulled a pair of blue jeans, a white t-shirt, and one of his flannels out of the drawer before leaving your room and making his way down the hall to the bathroom to change.

Once he was gone, you closed your bedroom door and quickly changed into fresh, dry clothes. Then you sat on the edge of your bed, tugging a brush through your halfway dried hair. You hummed along to a song stuck in your head as you did. You stopped at the small knock on your door, followed by Jake’s voice, “Are you dressed?”

“I am,” you called back, smiling to yourself at how kind he was to ask first.

He opened the door to your bedroom, peeking his head in before walking in all the way. He sat down on the bed next to you, taking the brush from your hand and silently brushing through your hair for you. He had been doing it since you were young, and you broke your arm falling out of the tree in his backyard. He’d felt responsible for your injury and had decided to do everything he could for you from brushing your hair to tying your shoes. The habit stuck even now. And it made your stomach churn.

“You don’t have to do that, you know,” you whispered, but you didn’t try to take the brush back from him. “My arm’s been healed for years.”

He laughs, “I know. But I like doing it for you. I like helping you.”

He finishes brushing your hair in silence and then you stand, putting the brush away and stretching your legs. The two of you migrate to the living room and he settles himself on the couch while you look through the movies you have.

“We still mostly have VHS tapes. Mom hasn’t been buying very many DVDs ‘cause they’re a little more expensive. But we have a few.”

“I’m good with whatever. We could watch a Disney movie, though. Like when we were kids!”

“Oh my god, can we watch Beauty and the Beast?” you turned towards him, holding up the VHS tape.

His eyes lit up as well when you held up the movie. The movie was associated with good memories for both of you. You had both been twelve when the movie was first released, and you had begged your parents to let you go see the movie. At first, they were reluctant to let the two of you go alone because as much as they let you wander, they were still cautious about where you were allowed to wander. But eventually, the two of you convinced them and they gave you money to buy movie tickets. You had gone to the theater that afternoon and you had both loved the movie.

“Yes,” he grinned, all but leaping off the couch to grab the movie from you so he could be the one to push it into the VHS. “Wow, I haven’t watched this in a while. Do you remember when we saw it in the theater?”

You nodded, “I remember. We had to beg our parents to let us go. They thought the theater was too far for us to go alone and they were too busy to take us.”

“But we eventually got them to let us go,” Jake finished, pushing in the tape and hitting the button to rewind it back to the beginning of the movie so you could watch it. “Do you have popcorn? We can make some while we wait for it to rewind.”

You stood and he followed you to the kitchen. You searched through the pantry until you found the microwaveable popcorn. You passed it to Jake, and he ripped off the plastic before putting it in the microwave and starting it. You got cups of water for both of you (your mom didn’t usually keep sugary drinks other than juice).

Once you had your snacks, you sat back down on the couch and Jake grabbed the TV remote. The tape was finished rewinding so he pushed play and then fast forwarded through the previews. “You didn’t want to watch the previews, did you?”

“Not for movies that came out six years ago,” you giggled, rolling your eyes playfully.

He stopped fast-forwarding it when he got to the beginning of the movie. You snuggled into his side as the movie began. He wrapped an arm around you—another habit of his he’d been developing since he was younger. Time spent with Jake, like this, was always comfortable. Jake was comfortable. He was familiar. You didn’t want to think about what it would be like when summer was over. So, you pushed the thought out of your mind and focused on the movie.

For the rest of the afternoon, the two of you watch your favorite childhood movies on VHS as well as a few of the new DVDs your mom had bought recently. When your mom gets back from running errands in town, she invites Jake to stay for dinner, so he does.

“Thank you so much for dinner, it was really good.” Jake thanks your mom, smiling as he rinsed off his plate in the sink. “I always enjoy dinner with your family.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it, Jake. You know you’re welcome any time,” your mom had answered, taking the plate from him and cleaning the rest of it, shooing the two of you away to do something else.

You decide to go for a walk through the neighborhood. Though the sun is starting to set, it’s still warm outside. Jake walks so close to you, your shoulders brush against one another with every step.

“Do you ever think about how it seems like just yesterday we were kids? Like just yesterday we were playing house down the street and causing mischief?” Jake’s voice is soft as he speaks, as if he doesn’t want to disturb the stillness around you as you walk.

“Sometimes,” you say, just as softly, “Actually, I can’t even remember what my life was like before I met you. Since you’ve been a part of it for so long.”

He nodded and sighed, looking up at the sky as the first few stars started to wink into consciousness overhead. “I don’t want to think about what life would be like without you.”

“Then don’t.”

“Okay.”

You turned and started walking back home. You didn’t talk for the rest of the walk, just enjoyed the pleasant hum of life around you as the sun dipped lower and lower below the horizon. When you finally made it back, Jake hugged you, kissed your cheek and headed back to his own house across the street from yours, turning to wave again when he got to the door. So, you did the same.

The next morning, as you sat at the dining room table eating a bowl of cereal, the phone started to ring. You set your spoon down and went to retrieve it. “Hello?”

“Yn!” Of course, it was Jake. No one else would call your house at 9:00 am during summer vacation. “Guess what!”

“What?”

“They said yes!”

“Uh, what?”

He laughed at your confusion, “The guys! They agreed to start the band with me!”

“Oh!” you felt silly that you had already forgotten all about his plan to start a band over the summer. “That’s great, Jake!”

“We’re meeting today to come up with a set list and practice so that we can start putting our name out there and booking gigs! It’s gonna be so much fun, don’t you think?”

“Oh, for sure. And you’re definitely gonna invite me to every single one of your gigs, right?” you asked, cereal long forgotten as you got excited about Jake’s newest passion.

“Yes,” he giggled, “Do you maybe want to come watch us practice today? You could also give us input on what songs you think we should do. You know, as an audience member.”

“Sure. What time?”

“I’ll just grab you when I’m headed over to Seung’s. Is that okay?”

“Sounds perfect,” you smiled even though he couldn’t see it. “I’ll see you whenever.”

“See you!”

You hung up the phone, setting it back down on the receiver before going to put the bowl of soggy cereal in the sink. You couldn’t wait to see what Jake and his new band would come up with.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

“Tell me why we’re going two hours early again?” Jungwon complained as he squeezed into the back seat of your car next to Sunoo and Riki.

You glared at him playfully, “Because Jake’s my best friend and I want a spot in the very front.”

He huffed out a sigh and sat back, buckling his seatbelt. Sunoo leaned forward, tapping you on the shoulder, “Are Karina and Winter going to meet us there?”

“Yeah, they’re taking Karina’s car. I just live closer to you three than she does, so I decided to pick you up.”

Sunoo sits back in his seat too and you turn the music up in your car. The three boys banter playfully in the backseat while you sing along to the music pouring out of the speakers in your car.

It only took a few minutes to get to the venue after you picked Jungwon up. As you pulled into the fairly empty parking lot, Karina pulled up beside you in her car, waving frantically and grinning widely. You smiled as you turned the car off and stepped out of the car, wrapping her in a warm hug and then hugging Winter right after. The boys greeted them as well and then you all walked into the venue together.

Once you were past the venue security, you were guided into the concert hall where Jake and his band were setting up for a sound check (you had shown the security guards the V.I.P. lanyard Jake had given you and they let you right in). The six of you settled in the front of the venue and you waved up at Jake who sat adjusting his drum set. He waved back at you and smiled.

You talked to your friends as the band played through the first few bars of each of the songs they had prepared before disappearing off the stage to wait in the dressing rooms. You couldn’t wait for the show to start. You had visited Jake while he practiced a few times and truthfully, they were all really good. They were all charismatic, so you were excited for the performance they would give. It was just a small gig—a performance in place of another local band who had to cancel last minute—but it would pave the way for them to perform more in the future.

The next two hours passed by quickly, thankfully, since you were talking and laughing with your friends, watching as the venue filled up with people who were intrigued by the band who would be playing in the place of who they had expected.

When the four boys finally step out on stage, the crowd claps before falling silent as Jake starts speaking into the microphone in front of him, adjusted just right so he could still play drums. “Hi everyone. I know we’re not exactly who you were wanting to come see, but we’re so happy you all came out anyway. We hope you’ll enjoy our performance and continue to support us in the future.”

And with that, their setlist started. You had helped them pick songs you thought people would like the most, suggesting “Come As You Are” by Nirvana, “Even Flow” by Pearl Jam, “Interstate Love Song” by Stone Temple Pilots, an a few others.

As Jake and his friends play through the songs, you can’t seem to pull your eyes away from him. Maybe you were just going crazy, but he looked… different. He looked hot. And it shouldn’t have been any different than any other time you saw him. He was wearing an outfit that he’d worn before—just jeans and a black turtle neck under a jean jacket—but for some reason it looked different up under the stage lights as he sat behind the drum set and sang.

You try to push away the thoughts surfacing in your mind as the night goes on, but it’s no use. You’re impossibly attracted to your best friend.

“They’re really good,” Winter leans over to say loudly in your ear and you just nod in response, eyes still focused on Jake.

When the show ends, you make your wave goodbye to your friends, who leave together, and push your way backstage, flashing the V.I.P. pass so they let you through. You walk down the hall to the dressing room where the four boys are freaking out about how amazing it felt to perform.

“Yn!” Jake cheers as he sees you enter the room. He stands immediately and rushes to hug you. “I’m so glad you came. You’re like my very own good luck charm.”

You smiled shyly as you hugged him back. “You were great, Jake. I don’t think you needed me here for you to be great.”

“I’m glad you were here regardless.”

“I’m glad I was able to come.”

“Okay,” Heeseung cleared his throat, and stood from the small couch in the back corner of the room. “Do you want us to stay to help clean up, or are the two of you going to do it?”

Sunghoon and Jay stood as well and Jake looked at you before turning back to Heeseung to answer, “I couldn’t make yn clean up after us. She didn’t—”

“I can stay and help Jake clean things up. You guys go on ahead and celebrate,” you interrupted him. Truthfully, you wanted to spend some time with just Jake and Heeseung was giving you the perfect opportunity for that.

“Are you sure? I won’t make you.”

“I want to. Let them go on ahead.”

So, he looked back at his friends and nodded. You gave each of them a short hug as they walked out of the dressing room, carrying their own instruments with them. You helped Jake clear trash and pack up the last of the equipment. At first, the two of you worked in silence. But the question that had been weighing on you for the last hour finally slipped past your lips.

“Have you ever had sex before?”

Jake choked on his spit and turned to look at you, eyes wide. Though the two of you were, obviously, very close, one thing you hadn’t ever really talked about was sex. It was, of course, a pretty awkward topic for two teenagers, hence why you had never brought it up before.

“Uh, yeah, a couple times, why?”

You shrugged, suddenly self-conscious. You’d never had the opportunity to go all the way with a boy. You didn’t really date in high school, focusing instead on doing well in school so you could get into a good college. But Jake didn’t need to know that, “No reason. I was just curious. You look good on stage. I’m sure lots of girls will be all over you soon enough.”

“Ah,” Jake shook his head, looking away from you again, cheeks burning, “I don’t know if I want girls to be all over me.”

You just hum and finish packing the equipment. “You really did do a great job today, Jake. I’m really proud of you.”

“Thank you,” his voice came softly, and he walked behind you to hug you again.

“I think that’s the last of it,” you looked at him with a small smile, “I should probably get going. Winter, Karina, and I are having a sleepover at Winter’s tonight. They’re already there waiting for me.”

He nodded and walked you outside, carrying the last of the band’s equipment along with him. He took your hand in his as he led you to your car after packing the equipment into his own car. When you reached your car, he kissed you on the top of your head and squeezed your hand. “We have another gig on Wednesday… if you want to come…”

“I’ll be there. Are you guys practicing any other days this week at all?”

“Yeah. Every day this week. So, we probably won’t be able to hang out much.” Jake sighed as he wrapped his arms around you, holding you close to him. He liked having you close like this. He liked having you in his arms.

“That’s okay,” you sighed as well, burying your head in his neck, “I’ll be there to watch your gig. We can hang out then. And maybe afterwards as well?”

“I’d like that.”

“Okay. I have to go. I’ll see you later, though, okay?” you pulled away, kissing him on the cheek and getting into your car. He waved as you started it and drove off and somehow, he couldn’t stop the aching feeling in his chest as you left.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

“So, what’s up with you and Jake,” Karina asked as she painted her nails, sitting cross-legged on the floor of Winter’s bedroom.

“Nothing?” you looked over at her, your head cocked to the side in confusion, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Winter giggled and glanced at you slyly, “I think she’s referring to the way you couldn’t take your eyes off of him all night.”

You felt your face heat up as you shook your head, playing with your fingers and looking anywhere but at your friends. You had admitted to yourself that you may have the tiniest (biggest) crush on your best friend, but you weren’t sure if you were ready to admit that to anyone else yet. Your biggest concern was that if you did end up telling him, he wouldn’t want to be friends with you anymore and everything would be awkward. And that was the last thing you wanted.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Deny it all you want,” Karina shrugged, “we still saw you. Anyone with eyes can see the way you two look at each other.”

“What do you mean,” you finally looked up at her again, brows furrowed as you thought about her words.

“I mean that both of you look at each other like you hung the stars in the sky. He looks at you like you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. And, especially tonight, you look at him like he’s the human form of a god. That and you tend to undress him with your eyes.”

Your jaw fell open at her words, “I do not!”

“You kind of do,” Winter chimed in, smirking.

You groaned, falling back on Winter’s bed and holding a pillow over your face as you screamed in embarrassment. But a part of you was relieved that they knew. You didn’t feel like you had to keep your feelings inside anymore.

“When did you know you liked him?” Karina asked, already back to painting her nails.

“I don’t really know. I kind of just… woke up one day and realized that I had a thing for him. To be honest, I think I’ve always kind of liked him. But I just told myself it was just a friendly sort of like…”

“I knew it!” Winter all but shrieked, clapping excitedly, “Oh my god, we have to get you guys together.”

“You should tell him you like him, yn. I’m like 99.9% sure that he likes you too. That 0.1% is just a precautionary so that if something goes wrong you can’t be mad at me. Otherwise, I would say 100%.” Karina laughed as you looked at her in shock, but she didn’t seem fazed by your dramatic look.

“Do you really think I could just go over to him like, “hey Jake, I really like you and I want to be more than friends”? Because the answer is no. I could not do that.”

“Well, I think you should,” Winter suggested, “You said they have another gig Wednesday. That’s the perfect time to do it!”

“Are you kidding me? That’s so soon!”

“The longer you wait, the less likely you’ll be to actually tell him,” Karina sighed and finally screwed the top of the nail polish bottle back on, blowing on her nails to help them dry faster, “Look. We just want you to be happy. You’d be happy in a relationship with Jake. And judging by the way he looks at you when you’re not looking, there’s a really high chance he would agree to being your boyfriend. Plus, you only have the summer before he leaves and goes to that school all the way on the East Coast. And of course, you’ll stay in contact because you’ve been friends for forever, but it won’t be the same. But if you finally start dating, you’ll be more inclined to actually keep in touch more.”

“Exactly. And if for some godforsaken reason he doesn’t want to be your boyfriend, we’ll be right here with ice cream and cuddles. We’ll always be here for you, yn. But you have to be brave sometimes,” Winter agreed, sitting down next to you on the bed and wrapping an arm around you.

You sighed and leaned into her touch. You knew they were right. And you did want to tell Jake about your feelings. It would be better than keeping them locked away inside. You just didn’t know how.

“Okay. I’ll tell him at the gig on Wednesday. Promise you’ll be there if it goes wrong?”

“Promise,” Karina smiled at you and Winter squeezed your shoulders. You closed your eyes, imagining what dating Jake Sim would be like. And the only thing that came to your mind was perfection.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

This time, you stood off in the wings, watching Jake perform from offstage. And he was just as hot as before. His skin glistened under the stage lights, shiny from the sheen of sweat that covered him. He wore blue jeans and a black t-shirt that stretched tight across his chest under a black jean jacket. And his dark hair hung in his eyes as he played, the front pieces sticking to his forehead slightly. Just like the last time you had watched him, you couldn’t take your eyes off of him as he played and sang.

And though you didn’t notice, he kept sneaking glances at you too, noticing just how beautiful you were. He doesn’t even know when it happened—when he started thinking you were the most gorgeous girl he had ever seen. He just knew that he got up one day, saw you standing on your front porch waiting for him and knew that he didn’t want anyone except for you.

And now you were watching him play, standing off in the wings on the side of the stage in those blue jeans that suited your frame perfectly and white tank top. The outfit was so simple, but the icing on the cake was that you were wearing his windbreaker on top of it all. He looked away from you, biting his lip as he tried not to get hard in the middle of the performance. He just had to make it through two more songs and then he could find a bathroom like he so desperately needed.

When the show ended, he hurried off the stage, but you stopped him, “You did so good, Jake.”

“Ah, th-thanks yn.” He smiled and hugged you quickly before pulling away, heart aching at the small frown that tugged on your lips. “Sorry, I just… really need to use the bathroom.”

The frown was gone in an instant and you grinned sheepishly at him, “Right. Sorry. I’ll let you go then. I’ll just wait in the dressing room.”

He started toward the bathroom, but stopped when Heeseung, Sunghoon, and Jay walked past, already carrying their instruments and other equipment. Heeseung winked at him, whispering as he passed him, “You know, I’m sure she’d be willing to help you with your problem.”

Jake’s face flushed red, and he smacked Heeseung in the arm. He just laughed and walked away. Jake went to the dressing room instead of the bathroom, taking a deep breath before pushing open the door. He tried to keep his breathing even when he saw you laying sprawled out on the couch, your shoes kicked off and sitting on the floor beside the couch, reading a magazine that had been sitting on the coffee table.

“Oh, you were fast,” you looked up at him from the magazine. He locked the dressing room door behind him.

“Uh, yeah. I didn’t… I didn’t actually… go to the bathroom.”

You frowned a little, confused, “Oh.”

Jake sat next to you on the couch, and you sat up too, looking at him and taking in how hot he looked. And he did the same.

“You asked me a few days ago if I’ve ever had sex…” his voice trailed off before he cleared his throat and continued, “But you never answered the question yourself. Have you ever had sex?”

Your face grew hot almost immediately and you wanted to back away as his face got closer and closer to yours, but you didn’t move. You swallowed thickly, “N-no. I haven’t.”

“Really?” he looked surprised, his brows furrowed, and head tilted to the side.

“Is that really so shocking?”

“You’re hot as fuck. I’m surprised no one’s ever wanted to have sex with you.”

“I didn’t say that,” your eyes narrowed and somehow you didn’t quite catch on to the fact that he had called you hot. “I just never wanted to have sex with any of them.”

“Oh.”

You stayed like that for a moment, just staring at each other. He was so close at this point that you could feel his hot breath fanning across your face. His eyes were narrow, and you could see the lust in them at this point. And you were sure you were looking up at him the same way.

“You look really hot right now,” Jake whispered, scooting a little closer to you on the couch, “I kinda wanna kiss you.”

“Only kind of?” you teased, putting a hand on his knee and searching his eyes for any signs of discomfort. But he only looked at you with eyes clouded with desire.

“I really wanna kiss you.”

“Then do it.”

And that was all it took for him to lean in and press his lips to yours in a desperate kiss. His lips moved against yours expertly. You’d only kissed a handful of boys in your life and had made out with even fewer, but none of them had kissed you like Jake was kissing you.

He nipped at your bottom lip, and you groaned, opening your mouth enough for him to slide his tongue into it. His tongue worked against yours, exploring every inch of your mouth. He tasted a little bit like Starbursts—which made sense since he always ate Starbursts when he was nervous.

You pushed his jean jacket off of his shoulders as you continued to make out and he did the same to you, sliding his windbreaker off of your arms. You grabbed his face in both of your hands, holding him close to you and his hips involuntarily rolled into yours. He groaned at the friction, and you opened your legs a little wider to accommodate for his body in between them and so that you could feel his bulge against your core better.

“Fuck,” he moaned against your lips, continuing to grind his hips down into yours. “Fuck, I want you so bad, yn.”

“Want you too,” you gasped, your fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck.

He sat up, tugging his t-shirt over his head, his broad chest on display for you. You propped yourself up on your elbows so you could pull your tank top off as well, leaving you in your bra. He leans in to kiss you again, reaching around behind you to unclasp your bra. You squeezed your eyes shut as he pulled away from you again to look at you now that your chest was completely exposed. You weren’t sure what he would think, but you were nervous to see him looking anyway.

“Look at me,” he whispered, holding your face gently until you opened your eyes to look at him. “You don’t have to hide from me. You’re beautiful.”

Your breath felt stuck in your throat at his words. Everything felt like a dream. You couldn’t believe that your best friend—the same best friend you realized you had feelings for—was telling you that you were beautiful. Of course, he had told you that you were beautiful before, but this was so different.

“Jake,” you breathed out, finally. But your words died out as he kissed you again, hands finding their way to your breasts and kneading them gently.

He leaned down and pressed sweet kisses to your neck, then to your collarbones, then your sternum, and then he sucked faint marks onto the swell of your breasts. “So, so beautiful, yn. You’re so perfect.”

You whined and then let your hands find their way to the zipper of his jeans. You fumbled blindly with it as he continued sucking marks onto your soft skin. After what felt like forever, you finally managed to tug the zipper down and then you pushed at his jeans. He stood up, slipping his shoes and socks off and tugging his jeans all the way off before climbing on top of you again on the small couch.

He pulled down the zipper of your jeans in return before pulling them slowly off of your legs and tossing them to the side. You reached down, pulling your socks off and dropping them beside your shoes on the floor. You felt shy again now that you were only in your underwear, but he ran his hands comfortingly over your legs and your hips and your sides and you felt at ease with him.

You looked up at his face again, searching his eyes, but for what you weren’t exactly sure. His eyes were still clouded with desire, but you knew he was thinking clearly in everything he was doing.

“You can tell me to stop and I will.” His voice came softly, pulling you abruptly from your thoughts, “It doesn’t matter how far into it we are, or if this is as far as we go. If you tell me to stop, I will.”

“Okay.”

“Do you want me to keep going?”

You nodded, grabbing his face again and kissing him, “Please keep going.”

“I have a condom in my bag,” he said softly, kissing your forehead, “I’m just gonna go get it, okay?”

“Okay.”

You watched as he climbed off of you and then crossed the dressing room to where his bag was, reaching into a pocket to grab the condom.

“Jake,” you called, and he looked back at you, “Won’t we get in trouble back here? What if they need the venue soon?”

Jake shook his head and smiled reassuringly at you. “I know the guy who runs the venue. We were the last people to use it. He left me the keys and asked me to lock up behind us. We’re the only ones here right now. But uh, just so you know, I didn’t… plan this… It just kinda worked out that way.”

He came back over to you, settling himself over you once more. You hung your arms around his neck as he held himself up.

“Can I take these off?” he asked, playing with the elastic band of your underwear. You nodded shyly and he pulled them down slowly, eyes fixed on your exposed folds. “Holy fuck. Fuck, you’re so beautiful.”

You squirmed shyly under his gaze, and he tore his eyes away from his core to look you in the eye. He took one of your arms from around his neck, and then the other one, and he brought your hands to the waistband of his boxers. You knew what he wanted and so, with a deep breath, you pulled his underwear off as well, immediately watching in curiosity as his dick sprung up, slapping lightly against his abdomen. He was perfect.

Though you hadn’t had sex before, you had seen a few dicks (the farthest you’d ever gone with a boy before this moment, though, was a blowjob). Jake’s was by far the best you’d ever seen. You felt like your mouth might start watering at any second, so you slowly looked up toward his face to find him with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth as he watched you.

“You have a really pretty dick,” you whispered, “Can I touch you?”

“Fuck, yeah. Touch me. Please.” His voice came out in a desperate whimper as his hips jerked forward toward your outstretched hand.

“So eager for someone to stroke your dick, hm?”

He shook his head, “No. Just you, yn.”

“Oh?” His words caught you by surprise. You figured everything was just a result of him being horny, that he was just desperate to get off. Hearing that it was you that had him all worked up was a bit surprising. But you couldn’t complain about that. It was like a dream come true.

So, you finally took his dick in your hand. You started by licking his shaft, trying to wet his dick to make it a little more pleasurable for him. You watched his face as you started off slow, stroking languidly from the base to the tip. You frowned a bit as you thought that it might feel better for him if you had lube, but since you doubted, he carried a bottle of it in his bag, you made do without it.

“Shit,” he groaned, throwing his head back as you continued, “Fuck, you’re really good at this.”

You only hummed in response, watching to make sure his reactions stayed positive. You sped up your pace a little and paid more attention to his tip, which he seemed to like as he started bucking his hips into your hand.

You felt his dick twitch in your hand and he sat up quickly, pulling at your wrists, “Fuck, wait, wait, wait.”

You stopped, looking up at him with wide eyes, worried you hurt him, but he only shook his head and panted heavily.

“Sorry. Sorry, I just… I don’t want to cum yet. Wanna cum when I’m fucking you.” He breathed heavily, trying to compose himself before he continued. “Can I touch you now?”

You nodded and he ran his finger through your folds. You shivered at the contact and willed yourself not to close your legs. He gently rubbed at your clit and around your entrance. When he pulled his fingers away to show you, they were so wet you could see them shine under the dim light of the dressing room.

“Fuck, look how wet you are. Is this just for me?”

You groaned, looking at him through hooded eyes, “Just for you, Jakey.”

“Gonna stretch you out now. Don’t wanna hurt you on your first time,” his voice was gentle but the look in his eyes was anything but. “Has anyone ever touched you here before?”

You nodded slowly, “Yeah, b-but it didn’t… didn’t feel that good…”

“It didn’t?” Jake asked, looking at you with concerned eyes.

“No. It wasn’t… bad… but it just didn’t… feel good.”

“Oh, baby,” he brought his fingers back to your core, rubbing gently, “then they must have been doing something wrong. Tell me to stop if it doesn’t feel good, okay?”

“Okay.”

He slowly pushed a finger into your entrance, watching your face carefully to make sure you were still doing alright. You whined a little, already loving the way he touched you more than you’d ever loved anything—already craving it. So, he pumped his finger in and out of you a few times to get you used to the feeling before slowly adding a second.

“Oh,” you gasped, and he paused, looking at you intently. “N-no, keep going. I just—I wasn’t expecting it to feel… like that.”

“Like what, baby?”

“Good.”

He continued pumping his fingers in and out of you, curling them upwards and prodding against that soft spot that had you seeing stars—something you’d never felt before. You gasped again and through the haze in your vision, you saw him smirk. “Found it. Does it still feel good, sweetheart?”

“Mhm,” you moaned, trying to keep your eyes open as his fingers continued to nudge your g-spot.

He hummed in acknowledgement and then stretched his fingers apart slowly, trying to stretch you open as carefully as he could. It stung for a moment but there was no denying the pleasure that followed. He watched your face as he continued scissoring his fingers to prepare you.

“Can you take one more?”

“Yes. Please,” you whined. At this point, the stretch was gone and all you felt was pleasure—you were desperate for more. No one had ever made you feel as good as Jake did. He didn’t answer as he fit one more finger inside of you, stretching you even further. But you were so wet that you hardly felt the sting this time. “Jake, please. Just want you.”

“You sure you’re ready sweetheart?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” you grabbed at his hand and looked into his eyes, trying to convince him that you were ready for him.

“And you’re sure you want this?”

“Yes, Jake.”

He took a deep breath and grabbed the condom packet from where it had fallen on the floor. He tore it open and took the condom out, rolling it down his length. You watched his fingers work the condom down his dick. He had such pretty hands. Everything about him was beautiful. You could look at him for hours.

“Okay, I’m gonna put it in now,” Jake murmured, positioning himself with the tip of his dick at your entrance, you grabbed one of his hands in yours, intertwining your fingers together and looking him in the eye as he started to push in.

It felt perfect. It was strange. You weren’t sure what you were expecting, but it felt so much better than you had imagined. He was perfect. He leaned down, groaning in your ear as he bottomed out inside of you. You let go of his hand, wrapping both of your arms around his neck and kissing him. Your brain felt fuzzy, but nothing hurt.

“You can move, Jake. Please move.”

Slowly, he started thrusting into you, his hips smacking into yours. You loved how full it felt. Even with the condom on, you felt like you could feel all of him. You loved how close he was to you, you loved the noises he made, you loved how good he was at sex, you loved everything about sex with him, and you started to wonder if maybe you loved him.

“Fuck, you feel so good. So good and tight for me, sweetheart,” he grunted over you, gradually increasing his pace.

The tip of his dick brushed against a spot inside of you that you weren’t even fully aware you had. And it felt like magic. You could feel that familiar knot starting to build in your stomach, and you felt guilty for not being able to last longer.

“Jake, I-I’m gonna… cum soon,” you managed to gasp out through deep moans.

“I want you to,” he mumbled back, kissing your neck and holding on to one of your hands again, “I want you to cum.”

You whined as he thrusted harder, trying to make you cum. But it wasn’t until he reached one of his hands down between your bodies and rubbed at your clit that you felt the knot tighten even more.

“Oh,” you groaned, your eyes squeezing shut at the feeling, “please, Jakey. Please, don’t stop.”

“I won’t, baby.”

It didn’t take long after that for you to reach your high. You came hard—something you’d never experienced before. You clenched hard around his dick as you rode your high, and that sent him over the edge too. You felt him fill up the condom inside of you before his hips stuttered to a stop and he pulled out carefully, disposing of the condom before collapsing beside you.

He brushed his fingers through your hair gently and held you close to him; both of your bodies were sticky with sweat. You breathed heavily as you breathed him in. He still smelled like his cologne.

“Come on, let’s get you home, sweetheart. Don’t want your parents to worry,” he murmured, kissing the top of your head sweetly, before standing up. “We don’t have any washcloths in here, but there are paper towels. Is that okay?”

“Y-yeah, that’s fine.”

He made his way to the sink and turned the temperature to hot. He tore off a few sheets of paper towel from the rack and got them wet in the warm sink water. He hurried back to you, crouching on the ground and carefully wiping the sticky evidence of your release from your core. You whined a bit at the contact, but he just squeezed your hand gently, “I know. I’m almost done, baby.”

With how sweet he was being to you, your hopes were high that he liked you the same way you liked him. After he finished cleaning you up, he quickly dressed himself before helping you back into your clothes as well. He let you sit on the couch as he finished picking up the dressing room. He helped you out of the concert venue, a hand on the small of your back, and then he locked the building behind him.

You had ridden to the venue with Jake that day, so thankfully you didn’t have to worry about driving back home. But once you were in the car together, you didn’t think you could just go home. Your chest felt tight and all you wanted was to lay with him in his bed and feel him close to you again.

“Jake.”

“Yeah, sweetheart?”

“Can I sleep over at your house? I’ll call my parents to let them know…” your voice trailed off before you cleared your throat to finish your train of thought, “I just want to stay with you tonight.”

He felt his heart melt at your words, and he nodded, “Yeah. Of course, you can stay over. Are you sure you don’t want to grab stuff from home first?”

“I don’t want to. I just want to be with you. I still have clothes at your house anyway.”

Jake just nodded and the rest of the drive to his house was silent except for the music playing through the car from the random cassette tape you had pushed into the player while he was packing stuff into the trunk of his car. He drove with one hand on the steering wheel and the other on the gear shift, but you wished that he would move his hand just a little more to the right so it would rest on your knee.

When he finally pulled into the driveway of his house, he told you to wait in the car while he unloaded the equipment from the concert and then he’d be back to help you. He was being so sweet, you had no choice but to listen to him. It didn’t take very long, thankfully, so after a couple minutes, he was back, opening your door and helping you walk up to the front door.

His parents weren’t home since they had an important business trip they were on. They were aware regularly for business trips in the summer, which Jake was used to, so it didn’t bother him that they weren’t home. When he was younger, he would stay at your house frequently when his parents were gone, but now that he was older, they trusted him to be alone.

Once you were back in Jake’s room, you slipped out of your jeans and collapsed on his bed in just your tank top and underwear. You didn’t see the blush that spread across his cheeks at the sight of you sprawled out in his bed in so little clothing.

“Don’t you want to change into pajamas?” he asked, trying to keep his voice steady as he grabbed his own pajamas from his closet.

“No,” you mumbled sleepily, “too tired. This’s fine.”

“Okay,” he said softly, changing quickly and then turning off the bedroom light before slipping into his bed beside you.

He pulled you close to him out of habit. The two of you weren’t strangers to physical touch with one another. You often cuddled together when watching movies. This was different though, and he realized that after a few minutes. This felt more intimate. By the time he noticed, though, you were already asleep, and he didn’t want to move and startle you awake, so he just closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and willed himself to sleep.

When you woke up again, it was morning. Soft morning light filtered through the crack between the curtains covering his window. He still had his arms around you, and you were warm. You curled your body closer to him, desperate for more of his warmth and to feel him all around you.

He breathed deeply and his eyes fluttered open. He looked down at you and smiled sleepily. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” you mumbled back. It was quiet between the two of you for a little longer until you sighed. “So, are we going to talk about last night?”

He swallowed nervously. He knew this moment was coming. He knew he was going to get rejected. But he played off the fear he felt, shrugging slightly, “I’d be okay with hooking up from time to time. If you want that, anyways.”

“Oh,” you whispered. You weren’t expecting that to be his answer. You weren’t actually sure what you were expecting, but Jake telling you he wanted to be your fuck buddy was not it.

“I-I mean, only if you want. I won’t like, force you to—”

“Okay.”

His eyes widened as he looked at you, “Okay?”

“Okay, we can… hook up sometimes.”

What you really wanted from him was a relationship. You wanted to call him your boyfriend. But since that seemed to be the last thing that he wanted, you would settle for this. After all, the sex was really good, and you were so head over heels for him that you were willing to do anything to have even a semblance of a relationship while still maintaining your friendship.

Jake smiled and hugged you closer to him, “Do you want to go to the beach later?”

“To surf?”

“No, just to go to the beach. We can swim or lay in the sun. It’s supposed to be a nice day today. I just want to relax.”

You nodded in agreement, “Okay. I should go back home then. My swimsuit is there.”

He let go of you (albeit, reluctantly) and watched as you waved playfully to him after pulling your pants and shoes on again.

As soon as you stepped into your house, your mom looked up at you from where she sat on the couch, reading a magazine. “You didn’t come home last night.”

And that’s when you realized you totally forgot to call her when you got to Jake’s house. You opened your mouth to answer, but nothing came out. She sighed and put the magazine back on the coffee table in front of her.

“You’re lucky I saw Jake helping you inside his house, otherwise I would’ve called the cops and sent out a search party for you.” You felt embarrassed that your mom had witnessed Jake helping you stumble into his house, but more than that, you felt terrible that she had worried. “It’s fine for you to stay out late and it’s okay for you to spend the night at Jake’s, but I would appreciate at least a phone call, so I know you’re safe. I get that you’re an adult now and you’re leaving for college soon, but I’m still your mom and you’re still living here. I just want to know you’re okay.”

You nodded and swallowed, “I’m sorry I didn’t call, mom. I was really tired. We were at the concert venue until late. It completely slipped my mind to call you.”

“It’s okay. Please just try to remember next time.”

“Okay.” You started toward your bedroom, but stopped before you got there, turning to face your mom, “Jake and I are going to the beach today. I don’t know when I’ll be home.”

She just nodded, already back to reading the magazine. You let out a deep sigh of relief that she didn’t seem upset anymore and quickly changed into a swimsuit. It was a colorful two piece that Karina and Winter had convinced you to buy, and it was definitely showier than the classic white one you had worn the last time you’d gone to the beach with Jake. But you wanted to impress him. So, you took a deep breath and slipped the swimsuit on, covering it with a pretty white sundress so you weren’t walking around in only the swimsuit.

You met Jake outside after you brushed through your hair and got your beach bag together. He was waiting leaned against his car in only his swim shorts and a pair of flip flops. You forced yourself not to stare at his toned stomach and you forced yourself not to remember the night before. He glanced you over as you came skipping towards him, but you didn’t notice. Once you were in front of him, you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him and sighing in content. You liked being close to him. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he whispered back, grinning at you. He kissed the tip of your nose and then let go of you, opening the car door for you and shutting it once you were inside the car.

The two of you turned the music up all the way on the drive to the beach, like you always did. This time, though, your heart was soaring, and you couldn’t get rid of the huge smile on your face because his hand was on your knee like you’d wanted it to be the night before. He had the windows rolled down and both of you were singing and smiling as he drove.

The beach was more crowded than the last time you had gone together. But you didn’t mind. You set your towels out on the beach in a spot that was half sunny and half shady, just in case you got too warm or started to burn. You slipped your sundress off and almost giggled at the way Jake’s eyes fixed themselves on your body, staring until he realized what he was doing, and his face turned red. He helped you apply sunscreen, and you did the same for him and then you just laid there in the sun, enjoying his company and the warmth of the day.

“Let’s go swim!” Jake cheered after you had both been laying in the sun for a while, “It’s getting too hot in the sun.”

You sat up, “Okay, okay.”

He smiled even wider and pulled you to your feet, dragging you down to where the water lapped against the sand. You giggled as he waded in until the water was up to his waist, waving for you to join him. But as you were about to join him, someone tapped on your shoulder and you turned, facing a boy who had graduated from the same school as you and Jake. His name was Jeongin, if you remembered right.

Truthfully, you thought he was kind of cute, but you hadn’t ever been that attracted to him. He smiled charmingly at you before he proceeded to speak, “Hey, yn, how are you?”

“Oh,” you were surprised that he was even talking to you. You’d never spoken back when you were in school together, “I’m good, how are you?”

“Good, good. So, this might be kind of random, but I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date with me tonight? I’ve always thought you were gorgeous and when I saw you here, I knew I couldn’t pass up the chance to ask you out.”

“Oh, um,” you turned to look back towards Jake who had his head cocked to the side and his brows furrowed as he watched you. For a moment, you wondered if you should turn Jeongin down since you had just agreed to hook up with Jake occasionally. But that made you realize that you and Jake weren’t even in a relationship. So why should you turn down a cute guy who was interested in you? “Yeah, sure. What time?”

“I’ll pick you up around eight? Is that okay?”

“Sounds perfect, Jeongin. I’ll see you at eight.”

“Oh, hey, before you go,” he grabbed your arm stopping you, “What’s your address?”

You felt embarrassed that you had forgotten to tell him, so you blushed and pulled your arm away, telling him the address slowly so he could write it down on a piece of paper he had in his hand. You waved as he jogged away, joining a group of boys who must have been his friends. You finally waded out into the water to join Jake, grinning widely.

“Jeongin just asked me on a date!”

“Yeah, I noticed,” he grumbled. You didn’t understand why he was acting so upset about it. After all, it wasn’t like the two of you were dating or anything. You just brushed it off, figuring maybe he was just upset that you had intruded on his time with you. He noticed your small frown at his words and his face softened. He hugged you. “I’m happy for you. And if anything goes wrong, I’ll be there for you.”

The two of you splashed around and swam for a little longer before you got tired of playing around and Jake had to go to the bathroom. You both made your way back to the sand and you settled yourself on your towel as he made his way to the public restroom.

While he was in the stall (even though it was faster, he wasn’t a huge fan of the urinals), he heard a group of guys walk in. One voice was familiar to him, so he peeked through the crack in the stall door. Is that Jeongin?

“Dude, I can’t believe she agreed to go on a date with you,” one of his friends laughed loudly.

Another one laughed along, “Yeah, if I was her, I would have laughed in your face and told you to get lost.”

“Wow, what supportive friends I have,” Jeongin rolled his eyes, shoving one of them playfully.

The first guy shrugged and talked again, “I’m just saying, you have a well-known reputation for screwing girls over. I’m surprised you even asked her on a date to begin with. That’s unlike you.”

“Oh, trust me, this is only going to be a one-time thing. I’m not interested in dating her. I just want to fuck her. But she doesn’t strike me as the type of girl to just say yes if I were to ask her to come have sex with me.”

Jake couldn’t stand listening to them anymore, so he flushed the toilet, quickly washed his hands without looking at the group of boys and hurried out of the bathroom, making his way quickly back to where you were.

“Yn, I have to tell you something about Jeongin—”

“Ugh, please don’t give me the talk again. Jake, you’re not my dad. Yes, I’ll be careful, yada yada yada. I don’t need you telling me who I can or can’t date. It’s not up to you to decide.”

“No, I wasn’t going to—”

“Can we go home please? I just want to hang out there.”

He had tried to warn you about what he had heard Jeongin saying, but it was obviously no use. You were too blinded by excitement to listen to him. You didn’t sing along to the music playing in Jake’s car on the way back. You couldn’t understand why he was upset. You weren’t dating. He obviously didn’t have feelings for you like you did for him.

When you got back to your house, you let Jake hang out still. After all, the two of you were still friends. And he didn’t know you liked him, so you couldn’t be petty and act angry at him without coming clean about your feelings. So, instead you spent the day watching movies again, telling each other stories you still somehow didn’t know about each other, and Jake even helped you paint your nails for your date later that evening.

Finally, the time had come. There was only about half an hour until Jeongin would be there to pick you up. You were just finalizing what you were wearing, touching up your hair, and choosing accessories for your date. But Jake figured it was time to try and warn you again.

“Yn, I really need to tell you something.”

“Do you think he would prefer the gold necklace or the silver one?” you asked, not even paying attention to what he had said before.

Jake was always patient with you, though, so he just sighed. “I would pick the gold, but I don’t know much about him, so I don’t really—”

“Gold it is.”

“Seriously, yn, I need to—”

“Which shoes do you like better, Jakey?” you interrupted him again and he frowned, growing more and more frustrated.

“The second ones are nice. But like I was saying—”

This time he was cut off by the sound of the doorbell ringing and he groaned in frustration as you tugged your shoes on, hugging him quickly. He kissed your forehead softly, whispering a small, “be careful” into your ear before you left, kissing your mother on the cheek. Jake watched as you left with Jeongin and then he kissed your mother on the cheek as well before crossing the street to his own empty house.

In the car with Jeongin, you looked through the cassette tapes in his glove box. You frowned when you noticed he didn’t have any of the artists you typically listened to. You just picked a random one and were surprised by the slow, sensual music that filled the car. You shrugged it off though. Music taste was just a small thing in comparison to more important things like personality.

The date was going really well at first. He took you to a diner for dinner and paid for your food. He opened doors for you and acted like a complete gentleman. You felt like you had a lot in common other than your taste in music and he seemed like such a sweetheart. You almost didn’t want the night to end as he helped you into his car to drive you home.

But things started to go wrong when you were about halfway back to your neighborhood. He pulled his car into an empty convenience store parking lot and sat there, just looking at you.

“Jeongin? Why’d we stop? What’s wrong?” You were confused. You didn’t understand why he had pulled into the empty parking lot or why he was just looking at you with such a terrifying look in his eyes. You wondered if maybe he was a psychopath and if this was how you would die.

He didn’t answer your questions. He just leaned in closer to you, unbuckling your seatbelt and pulling your face closer to him so he could kiss you. You were shocked. You hadn’t expected him to kiss you tonight since it was only your first date. And you weren’t even home yet.

At first you closed your eyes, leaning into him. You were fine with kissing a little. He was cute, after all and after your experience with Jake the night before, you liked the feeling of kissing just a little bit more. But when his hand creeped from your side to the bottom of your dress you started to panic. Was he going to touch you? You didn’t want him to touch you. You weren’t ready for that.

His hand slid up your leg, closer to your core and you tried to push him off. At first, he didn’t move but the more you struggled against him, pushing at his hands and his chest, the easier it was to get him off. When you finally managed to get him off of you, you scrambled to get out of the car, sobbing as you started to walk home. You couldn’t stand to be in there with him for another minute.

He drove his car slowly next to you as you walked. “Yn, baby, I’m sorry. Just get back in the car, I’ll take you home, I promise.”

“Stay away from me, you bastard.”

He scoffed at your answer, “Fine.”

You cried as he drove away, speeding way too fast down the road. You were grateful that the convenience store you had been at was only a seven-minute walk from your neighborhood. You tried not to cry too much as you walked. You wanted to be aware of your surroundings since it was dark outside and getting late.

When you finally made it to your neighborhood, you looked over at your house and then over at Jake’s and you decided you didn’t want to go home. You let yourself into his house, knowing it would be unlocked since he had mentioned he would be waiting for your date to be over. He was sitting on the couch reading a book and when you walked in, red-eyed and sniffling, he looked up.

You immediately sit down on the couch next to him, curling into his side and sobbing. “I-I should’ve fucking l-listened to you. You w-were trying to tell me about h-him, weren’t you?”

“Yn…” Jake’s voice was soft as he rubbed your back. He stood up and you watched with wide teary eyes as he walked toward the phone. “Wait for just a second, baby. I’m just going to tell your mom you’re here with me.”

So, you waited while he talked to your mom, explaining briefly what had happened when you had come over. He assured her that he would take care of you, and have you call her in the morning when you felt better. When he hung up, he came back to the couch, cuddling with you as you cried until you had no tears left.

“Jake,” you mumbled as you clung to him, now sitting on his lap, “can we have sex?”

He looked at you, eyes wide in surprise before his face softened. You were just desperate to forget the way Jeongin’s hands had felt against you. You want Jake to make you forget.

“Sweetheart, I don’t think that’s the best idea, right now,” he said softly, combing his fingers through your hair gently and kissing your cheeks.

“Why not?”

“You just came in crying because some dick just tried fucking you. I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to have sex with you when that’s the reason you’re upset in the first place.”

“But I want to have sex with you. I didn’t want to have sex with him. That’s the difference.”

“Still, I don’t think tonight is the best night.”

You sighed. You were upset because now that you were seated on top of him, breathing him in so deeply, you were horny. But his reasoning made sense so you couldn’t argue with him. So instead, you let him guide you to his bedroom, change you into your pajamas, and cuddle you to sleep.

You woke up the next morning with a pounding headache, thanks to the hours of crying and lack of hydration from the night before. You sat up slowly, looking over at Jake who slept peacefully beside you. Your heart pangs in your chest and your stomach churns. You couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to the two of you when the summer ended. Your friends with benefits relationship would obviously have to end since you were going to be on opposite sides of the country, but what would happen to your actual friendship?

“What are you thinking about?” Jake asked, mumbling in his sleepy state.

“What’s going to happen to us when the summer is over. We’re going to be so far away from each other.”

Jake pulled you down so that you were laying in his arms again. “I don’t know what’s going to happen when the summer ends, but I promise that you’re not going to get rid of me so easily. You’re stuck with me as a friend whether you like it or not.”

Right. As a friend.

You didn’t say anything in response, caught up in your thoughts once again. Jake fell asleep afterwards, though, too tired from how late the two of you had stayed up the night before. When you were sure he was asleep, you slipped carefully out of his bed, collecting your things and crossing the street to your own house.

After greeting your mother, you made your way to the kitchen, dialing Karina’s number first, then Winter’s. “Hey. Can we meet up today?”

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

Jake woke up again, but you weren’t there anymore. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and sat up. He looked around his house, but you weren’t there anymore, and all of your things were gone. So, he figured you had gone back home. He showered and got ready. He had band practice later.

Once he was completely ready, he dialed your house, wanting to ask if you wanted to come to practice with him. But no one answered the phone. He put the phone back on the receiver and gathered everything he needed for practice, loading it all into his car and then crossing the street. He knocked on your door, but the person who answered the front door was your mother, not you.

Jake frowned, “Is yn here?”

“Oh, no, she’s not. She went to hang out with Karina and Winter. I thought she told you.” You mother looked just as confused as he felt. You and Jake always told each other everything. Even if it was just something like this.

“That’s okay. Thanks anyway. Uh, when she comes back, if I’m not back yet, just… let her know that I’m at Heeseung’s for practice.”

Your mother nodded and watched as Jake quickly crossed the street again, getting into his car and driving away. She sighed. She knew something was up this morning when you returned.

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

“Wait, and you just agreed to be hook-up buddies?” Karina asked you, eyes wide as saucers as you finished your story.

You groaned, burying your face in a pillow, “I know, it was stupid of me. But it was just… so good and I really just… wanted to be with him, you know. It was stupid. But I don’t know what to do now.”

“You know,” Winter started, and you looked at her, “you could always do what we tried to tell you to do in the first place and, oh, I don’t know, tell him you like him.”

“It’s not that simple now. I don’t think I can do it.”

“Well, that’s about all I can think of as far as helping you,” Winter huffed, crossing her arms.

Karina sighed and put a soothing hand on your shoulder, “I don’t really have advice for you either. Winter’s is probably the best you’re going to get from us.”

“I just… I’m sure he’s doing just fine without me, and that’s what’s killing me.”

But he was, in fact, not doing fine without you. And his friends could see that.

“Dude, that’s eighth time you’ve screwed up the tempo today,” Sunghoon groaned, taking the bass guitar off and setting it in its stand before crossing the room and sitting on the couch in Heeseung’s garage.

“Yeah,” Jay mumbled, taking his guitar off as well, “What’s up with you today, man?”

“Is everything okay?” Heeseung asked, sitting beside Sunghoon on the couch.

Jake sighed and rubbed a hand over his face, “I’m sorry guys. I guess I’m just a little distracted.”

“A little?” Sunghoon scoffed, yelping when Heeseung punched him in the arm with a glare.

“What’s got you so distracted?” Jay asked, taking a sip from his water bottle as he watched Jake stand from behind the drum set.

“It’s yn.” The boys all looked at each other before breaking out into smirks and laughter. Jake frowned, “What’s so funny about that?”

“It’s nothing, what’s up with yn?” Heeseung shook his head, brushing off their odd behavior.

“We had sex a few nights ago,” Jake paused as the boys cheered for him, “and she acted like she was going to reject me so I… offered for us to be friends with benefits. And she agreed, but now I kind of feel like she’s blowing me off. I mean, she did go on a terrible date last night, so maybe that’s it, but I… I feel like she’s upset with me for some reason.”

The laughter stopped at Jake’s explanation. And finally, Jay spoke, “Oh, I’m sorry man. I don’t really… know what to say to make you feel better, but I’m here for you. Hopefully she just needs space because of that shitty date, but if she continues to ignore you, we’ll be here to support you no matter what.”

Heeseung and Sunghoon murmured in agreement, nodding their heads and Jake smiled a little at them. He was grateful to have such supportive friends. Heeseung suggested they end practice early, which Jake was grateful for. But then he didn’t see or hear from you at all that day.

Or the next day. Or even the day after that. It was like you were actively trying to avoid him. And that was killing him. So, he finally decides to wait out on his front porch for you. Every time he had gone to your house you weren’t there, but every time he had looked out his window, you weren’t coming or going. He didn’t know what to do. So, he settled for waiting on his porch until you finally showed yourself.

He was reading a book, bored as hell, when you finally walked out of your house. He scrambled out of his seat on the porch and ran across the road to stop you from getting in your car.

“Yn!”

You looked at him, eyes wide before you fumbled with the lock on your car, trying to get it to open. But he grabbed your wrist stopping you.

“Jake, I have to go to the store for my mom.”

“Tell me what the fuck is going on first,” he begged, eyes searching for yours, but you refused to look at him.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Jake.”

It hurt that your answers were so short and that they left your lips so harshly. His eyebrows furrowed and his mouth fell into a small pout, “You’ve been avoiding me, yn.”

“No, I haven’t.”

“Yes, you fucking have. For the past three days. Yn, you’re my best friend. Do you know how much that fucking hurts?”

You finally looked up at him, tears brimming in your eyes, “Of course I do! Do you think it’s easy for me to just ignore you? It’s not. But I have to because I—”

You cut yourself off and his gaze softened. “Because you?”

“I fucking like you,” you finally whispered, the tears falling over your cheeks. “I like you so much and all I am to you is a friend. And it really, really sucks.”

“Yn—”

“And after we had sex I just—I knew that if we really did try the fuck buddies thing, I wouldn’t be able to take it. Losing my virginity to you was everything I ever dreamed of and it was perfect and you were perfect. And it just made me realize just how big my feelings for you are.”

“Yn, I—”

“And it’s okay,” you sighed, wiping your tears with the back of your hand, “I know you don’t like me the way I like you—”

“Yn, will you fucking listen to me?” Jake finally interrupted you, grabbing your face to make you look at him. You don’t say anything as he looks into your eyes. “I like you. I like you so much and I’ve liked you for so long. Please don’t try to tell me I don’t, because I do.”

You didn’t say anything, you just kissed him. You didn’t care that you were outside where anyone could see you. You didn’t care that your mom was probably watching out the window. All you cared about was that Jake liked you.

You pulled away, head spinning, “Wait here.”

You ran back into your house to tell your mom you were going to hang out with Jake and ask if she could get the groceries instead. She didn’t look up from her magazine when she waved you off, telling you to have fun and be safe. Truthfully, your parents and his had been waiting for this moment for years (they had been convinced that you would end up married at some point).

When you got back outside, he was leaning against your car and you grabbed his hand as you walked past him, dragging him to his house and pulling him inside. When the door was closed behind him, you grabbed his face and kissed him again, “I want you fuck me.”

But he shook his head, and you felt your heart sink. “I don’t want to fuck you. I want to show you how much I love you. And that’s going to be a lot different.”

You felt your heart soar again and you pressed yourself into him again to kiss him fervently. As you kissed, he guided you back to his bedroom and both of you slipped out of your shoes on the way. He slid his tongue into your mouth as you pushed the open flannel he was wearing off of his shoulders and he pulled your jacket off of your arms as well, tossing it somewhere in his bedroom.

He pulled away from you to tug his t-shirt over his head and you pulled your own shirt off, immediately attaching yourself to him again, kissing him so hard you wondered if your lips would be bruised the next day. His hands were all over you, never settling in one place for too long.

You reached for the button on his jeans, undoing it in one swift motion and pulling down the zipper before pushing his jeans off of his hips as he reached to undo the button and zipper on your pants as well. When you were both only in your under, Jake tugged you down onto his bed, still kissing you desperately.

“I love you,” he gasped as you palmed him through his pants.

He kissed your neck, sucking gently at your skin and leaving little love bites in his wake. He kissed down your chest, unclasping your bra and throwing it behind him in the process. He kissed your stomach and your hips and then he kissed the insides of your thighs, leaving marks there too.

“Fuck, I love you so much,” he whispered, “I’m so sorry it took me so long to realize it. I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

He kissed up your thighs, getting closer to your core with each kiss until he pressed a small one to your clit through your underwear. You whined, throwing your head back and tangling your fingers in his hair.

“Can I eat you out?” he asked softly, looking up at you through his eyelashes from between your legs. The sight alone was almost enough to make you cum. You nodded quickly in response and groaned in frustration as he pulled your underwear down your legs ever so slowly. He smirked at your impatience. “Baby’s getting a little needy, isn’t she?”

“Hm,” you hummed, squeezing your eyes shut, “I just want you.”

“Then open your eyes,” he murmured, and you could feel his warm breath against your core.

You were already dripping, but his voice, lower than you’d ever heard it, and his breath against you had you even wetter. You willed yourself to open your eyes, looking at him through fluttering lashes. He attached his lips to your clit, sucking gently, slowly.

“Oh, Jake,” you whined, fingers still threaded through his soft hair.

He gradually started sucking harder, increasing the pressure and drawing you closer to your high. He was messy. His spit was everywhere, mixed with your arousal. And he was noisy too. Slurping and sucking and humming. You were seeing stars for the second time in your life, and you gripped his hair harder as you approached your high, too far gone to warn him. But you felt him smile against your body as he helped you ride out your high.

When he pulled away, chin shiny and dripping with your release, you wondered if there was a more beautiful sight than this. He wiped at his chin with the back of his hand and then he pulled his own underwear off. He leaned over and pulled a condom out of his bedside table, rolling it over his hard length, already dripping pre-cum.

He laid back over you, rubbing his length through your folds to lubricate it. You whined, pulling him closer, “Want you inside.”

“Just a second baby,” he groaned.

And then he pushed himself inside, slowly so he didn’t hurt you. You clung to his shoulders tighter, holding him as close to you as you possibly could; holding him so close the two of you molded into one, so close nothing could break you apart.

“God, you’re still so tight,” he huffed, kissing your neck as he laid still inside of you. “So tight, just for me.”

“Jakey, move. Please.”

You didn’t have to tell him twice, because as soon as he had your permission, he was thrusting into you. His pace was already faster than last time, each thrust deep and precise. You felt like you were on cloud nine.

“I love you so much,” he moans in your ear, nibbling softly at your neck, “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you, Jake,” you gasped back, tears falling down your cheeks.

He was right about this time being different from the last. Last time you were both horny as hell but this time he was showing you just how much he loved you. It was almost overwhelming.

“Jake, I’m gonna cum,” you whined, clutching onto his back now as he thrust his hips into you.

“Me too, baby.”

He rolled his hips a couple more times and then you came for the second time, crying out his name and holding onto him tightly. Your high triggered his and his hips stilled as he came hard, face buried in the crook of your neck as he moaned.

“I love you, yn,” he whispered again, not pulling out of you yet.

“I love you, too.” You kissed him, and as you did, he wiped the tears from your cheeks.

He pulled out after you laid back down. You watched as he stood on shaky legs to discard the condom and get a warm washcloth. He wiped your release off of you and cleaned the sweat from your skin before helping you to the bathroom so you could pee. And once you were done, he helped you back to the bed and laid beside you, wrapping the comforter around the both of you and holding you close to him.

The sun was starting to set outside. You left small kisses across his chest as the two of you cuddled. Your voice was soft when you finally spoke, “So, what are we?”

Jake laughed and kissed the top of your head, “Well, we sure as hell aren’t gonna be fuck buddies anymore because that’s not enough for me.”

“So then…”

“Fuck, yn, just say you’ll be my girlfriend, please,” he whined, pouting at you.

You giggled as you kissed his cheeks sweetly, “Okay, I’ll be your girlfriend.”

He couldn’t hold back the grin on his face as he leaned down and pressed a small kiss to your lips. And another. And then another and another until he was peppering hundreds of small kisses all over your face. You laughed, pushing him away a little to get him to stop. And he did.

You both laid in silence for a few more moments until your thoughts started to get the better of you. You thought about how the summer was ending in just a couple more months. You thought about how perfect Jake was. You thought about how much it sucked that just when you finally made him your boyfriend you were going to have to leave him.

You didn’t even realize you were crying until he held your face gently in his hands, looking into your eyes, “Fuck, what’s wrong? Did I hurt you?”

“No,” you whispered, shaking your head and smiling at him through your tears, “You were perfect. You are perfect.”

“Then what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“What are we going to do when the summer ends and you leave for college?”

𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊𓍊𓋼𓍊𓋼𓍊

꒰ t a g l i s t ꒱ || ⤹ bolded accts couldn’t be tagged

@en-cityzen @iyhyjw @stealercore @duolingofanaccount @theskzvibe @enhasengene @msxflower @cha0thicpisces @enhyxkat @thejjrl @pshwyfie @heeseungs-luvr @kayalayadayla @theclawofaraven @fallinforgyu @bluesoobinnie @deez-nuts02 @bethroedtojae @rayaa27 @nikkixpenguin @wonlwon @cijake @kyleeanne @luvryuj1n @eaudenana

losing control — teaser!

PAIRING. sunghoon x fem!reader

SYNOPSIS. you ask park sunghoon to hold your hand one time when you’re scared and now the whole school thinks you’re dating. he absolutely hates this. in other words, he is a mystery to others — he acts like he’s all made of ice and has all of his stupid rules about everything and nothing but… in reality he just doesn’t want to lose control.

GENRE. highschool au, acquaintances to enemies to lovers au, short series?, angst, fake dating au?, romance, fluff

WARNINGS. tsundere!hoon, swearing, more to be added!

FEATURING. enhypen + more!

STATUS. coming soon!

“what are you doing?” park sunghoon’s glare was glacial and he had a confused frown plastered all over his face. why did you just hold his hand in the middle of the street?

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five.

warning; 😳 1.1k words.

masterlist.

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