We Both Start Over (Gunther/Nerr Drabbles)

We Both Start Over (Gunther/Nerr drabbles)

“Ninja Turtles”

–

Normally Nerr was very active in camp, going around and taking inventory, listening to grievances, or else, just offering a friendly hello to the soldiers under her command, but today, she had been acting rather... furtive. Gunther had noticed her eyes scanning the immediate area more often than usual. When he brought it up, she simply replied, “Assassins”. It was a reason that needed no further explanation, he knew, but nonetheless, it did not strike him as the whole truth. After all, if she were so concerned about Hoshidans getting the slip on her, why would she keep sneaking away and heading to dark, desolate corners of camp all by her lonesome? Gunther knew something was afoot, but he also knew his young wife would never tell him what it was. Since he returned from the hellish purgatory that had been his prison for three long months, he'd found his once transparent liege had become closed off and secretive. She wore layers upon layers of masks, to the point he where couldn't even be sure if she was being herself around him, of if it was simply another “act”, as she called it. Regardless of her true feelings, however, his love remained strong as ever, and with it, his concern for his mistress grew.

Whatever she was hellbent on keeping secret could be nothing good. So, as the Nohrian princess slipped away from the crowd of soldiers she had been conversing with for the fifth time, Gunther decided to follow her. He stayed just close enough to keep her in his line of sight, edging along the tents and supplies that littered the camp so that if she turned around and spotted him, it would appear that he was simply straightening the weapons that lay in disarray (which he did anyway, because the sight of askew lances made his skin crawl). As Nerr disappeared behind one of the storage tents, he frowned, carving the lines near his mouth deeper. What was that girl up to? As quietly as he could manage (no easy feat in a suit of armor), he crept up to where she had vanished. There in the shadows, the younger girl stooped over something, so engrossed with whatever she was doing that she didn't notice she was no longer alone until Gunther cleared his throat. At once, she turned, and he found the gilded point of her Yato leveled with his throat. Crimson eyes, wide with fear, slowly returned to their normal size, and Nerr let out a deep sigh, dropping her blade.

“Gods, Gunther- I nearly slit your throat! You know better than to sneak up on me!”

“Perhaps I would not have to sneak up on you if you didn't skulk around in dark corners, my lady.” He said, sounding far calmer than he felt. Her full lips pursed in annoyance, and she sheathed her sword with an irriatated sniff.

“I'm not 'skulking'. Perhaps I simply wanted a moment of privacy?”

“You could get privacy in our tent. Loitering in the shadows hardly inspires confidence.” The knight frowned slightly as he noticed something covered in a blanket behind her. “What have you got there, Nerr?”

“Nothing.” She said quickly. Far too quickly. Gently pushing her to one side and ignoring her protests, Gunther bent over and pulled the blanket away, revealing a basket. His stomach chruned slightly. Oh gods, what was this? Dozens of scenarios ran through his mind, starting with raw entrails and growing more macabre from there.

“Don't open that!” She cried out, but as was human nature, her warning only made him curiouser yet. Flipping over the the lid, his expression fell. Straightening, Gunther turned once more to face his wife, who was looking at her feet. He leveled her with a hard stare.

“...No. No. More. Pets.” At once, she raised her gaze to meet his, her face incredulous.

“I'm not an idiot, Gunther! I'm not going to keep turtles as pets in the midst of a war!”

“Then why do you have them?” Of all the things to discover... he was beginning to wish there had been body parts in the basket after all. At least that he could understand. Pouting, Nerr bent and retrieved her basket, her expression softening into a smile as she looked in at it's contents.

“They were in the middle of the trail when we were marching last night. I didn't want anyone's horse to trample the poor things, so I grabbed them. As soon as we come across a river or pond, I'm going to let them go.” Gunther felt his heart melt slightly. Of course she would make a conscious effort to save turtles. But...

“Then why keep this a secret? I thought you were slowly disposing of a body.”

Crimson eyes locked on his, hard and cold.

“If I were disposing of a body, I'd be done before you noticed anything was amiss.” Glancing back at the turtles, she smiled, every trace of a killer gone at once. “We're running low on rations. If anyone found out I had fresh meat, they'd insist we kill them for food. And while I can't very well begrudge my soldiers being hungry, I couldn't bear the thought of killing something so cute. Look at him!” She reached into the basket and pulled one of the reptiles out. It was about the size of an open hand, dark green and wrinkled. Gunther recoiled as he looked into it's beady eyes, his lip twisting. “Cute” was not the word he would use to describe such a thing, but Nerr's aesthetic sense was... skewed... to say the least (after all, she called him “adorable” on many occasions).

“Yes, that's very... yes.” The princess pulled the reptile back, cooing over it.

“He's almost the same shade of green as Kaze's hair. And look at this one!” She replaced one turtle and pulled out the other one. This one looked even uglier, with dark red streaks running along it's leathery hide, and a milky white eye. “This one has one eye, like Kaze's brother. They're turtle brothers- ninja brothers! They're turtle ninjas!” Gunther sighed quietly. It had already begun. Anytime Nerr found an animal, she gave it a name and then refused to part with it. It was an undue hassle, but that soft heart of hers was part of why he loved her so. He rested his hand atop her head.

“I want them gone tomorrow, Nerr. Or you're going to be having ninja turtle soup.”

“Turtle ninjas!”

000000000000

A/N- I imagine that between the death, and hunger, and fear and jomesickness and constant sense of soul-crushing misery that follows Nerr's battalion through Hoshido during the war, there are moments like this sprinkled around, like idividually wrapped cookies buried in the overflowing dirty litterbox of life. She really loves animals, to the point that even though she doesn't like bugs, she can't stand to let anyone kill them.

Also, I had a pet turtle growing up. They are horrifying, smelly monsters, but they're so cute when they're little!

#20, man. There needs to be an option where you can just permakill anyone who misses with a 99% HIT RATE, HE WAS STANDING TWO FEET FROM YOU, SILAS!!!

...meanwhile, the enemy berserker with a 5% hit rate and a weapon's disadvantage who lands a crit needs to be immeadiately recruited to replace whoever they just OHKO'd.

Things Corrin’s army is no longer allowed to do

1. Greasing up the kitchen utensils when Felicia is on mess hall duty is forbidden, and quite frankly overkill.

2. Giving Dwyer a notebook and telling him to write names in it is no longer allowed. We’re pretty sure it was just coincidence last time, but we’re not taking any chances.

3. Please stop offering Keaton dog treats to complete whatever menial task you have for him. It’s probably very offensive.

4. Disregard the above. -Keaton

5. Peri does not cook and serve human beings, and it is wrong to encourage this rumor.

6. Smiling and winking when someone asks what’s on the menu counts as “encouraging this rumor.”

7. Kiragi, please stop leaving your traps where Setsuna can find them.

8. Lilith is not a fish. Placing her in a bowl filled with water will kill her. Please stop trying to do so.

9. Please do not read Nina’s diary aloud at dinner.

10. Being a “proud father trying to share his daughter’s magnum opus” is not an excuse.

11. There has been a general failure to follow rule 2. Therefore, stricter enforcement is necessary. Further violators will lose bath house privileges.

12. As an addendum, events of recent days are still just a coincidence.

13. We are now implementing a Daily Setsuna Hunt. Participation is mandatory until all holes in the area have been patched.

14. The nonhuman members of this army are not mounts when in their transformed states.

15. Do not hide things in Ryoma’s hair.

16. Do not hide in Ryoma’s hair.

17. We do not have a “casual Friday.” Even if we did, it would not be an excuse to wear a bath towel into battle.

18. It is inappropriate to shout “flame on!” whenever Rinkah walks into the room.

19. Likewise, it is also inappropriate to greet Felicia or Flora with “ice to meet you.”

20. Missing a 99% hit chance is grounds for an immediate dishonorable discharge.

21. Azama, please stop sharing your philosophy on life and death with Midori. She’s been crying for three days now.

22. The Stoneborn are dangerous weapons, not pets.

23. Keaton and Velouria, please stop hiding your “treasures” in the kitchen. It is a major health code violation.

24. Stop telling Odin all the generic Fire tomes are special. We don’t have the funds for this.

25. Niles, we’re serious about this.

26. Corrin, we have received numerous complaints about noise from your treehouse. Please refrain from playing the drums at night.

27. To whoever has been hanging unflattering portraits of Xander and Ryoma around the castle, please stop. They are negatively affecting morale.

28. Full apologies to the artist in question.

29. Midori does not “got dat dank kush.” Stop asking.

30. Complaints submitted in haiku will be dismissed. Please stop, Mitama.

31. Saizo’s face under the mask is completely normal, and he does not moonlight as an opera singer. Stop telling new recruits otherwise.

32. Orochi cannot give you tomorrow’s lottery numbers. Her fortunes do not work that way.

33. As a matter of fact, our lottery doesn’t even work that way.

34. “Lost In Thoughts All Alone” is no longer allowed at karaoke night.

35. All of Dwyer’s notebooks are to be burned immediately.

Idea stolen directly from this. Credit to /u/clicky_pen on reddit for number 24 and 25.

Даже в самом маленьком живёт большой мир

good news girls hugh heftner fucking died

I know the rest of the fandom is proceeding to lose it’s shit over Danceigo, but I honestly couldn’t care less. I never liked him as a character (Liam O'Brien’s voice was the only reason I tolerated him) and seeing him get ANOTHER rendition (this brings it up to four…) just makes me dislike him more. I mean, I’m pulling because it’s a time limited gacha, but wake me up when there are more characters I actually care about in the game.

Long story short, I sketched dancer!Gunther. I plan on actually doing a GOOD version of this one day.

for nerr: the chariot, strength in reverse!

The Chariot (what goal is your character determined to reach?): Well, it really depends on where she is in her life. Pre-war Nerr wanted to be a soldier, to help conquer Hoshido and bring glory to her beloved Nohr. War-time Nerr in her canon Conquest-verse STILL wants to conquer Hoshido, but only so that Nohr isn't at war when she kills their king and throws them into political upheval due to the power vacum while Xander is in Hoshido. War-time Nerr in the Birthright au only wants to kill Hans and Garon. That's it, that is her singular reason for existing. Post-war Nerr wants to have kids to get that over with (if she's married to Gunther) and/or die.Strength, in reverse (what are your character's doubts or insecurities?): Literally. Everything. Nerr acts like she's perfect because that's how people expect her to act. They want to see a brave, strong, smart, beautiful princess and she's terrified out of her mind to disappoint the people she cares about. Every second of her life is spent trying to pretend she's not worthless and live up to everyone's expectations. Once Gunther tells her about his wife, however, all those other insecurities fall away and are replaced with the pants-wetting fear that he's always comparing her to his first wife. He's not, and he tells her that he's not and even if he was, she's better than Michaela on every level, but all *she* hears is "She's prettier than you, she gave him a son, she came FIRST, you're just a replacement, he'll LEAVE YOU if you can't have children...!"Of course, if anyone knew she had thoughts like that, they'd think she was crazy, and princesses can't be crazy, so she swallows all her thoughts and emotions until they form a back hole in the pit of her stomach, consuming everything until there's nothing left and she implodes.