Kidnapper: Hey, Kid!

Kidnapper: Hey, kid!

Child!Yuu, turning around: ?

Kidnapper: I'm the one who needs to pick you, your mother asked me to.

*Child!Yuu looking up and down, then deadpans*

Child!Yuu: What mother? I only have two fathers.

Kidnapper: Wha-

Divius smiling, behind the kidnapper, looking pissed off and deadly: And I am one of their fathers

*Cue the kidnapper to run off in a random direction, while Divius picks up child!Yuu, while Crowley makes sure that the kidnapper doesn't come again -- probably killing the kidnapper-*

MC: *petting a bunny* what a fluffy lapin~

Solomon: *outraged*

MC: what, jealous?

Solomon: I thought I was your only lapin *dramatic pose*

MC: *wheeze*

Leona, kicking down the door to the Diasomnia dorm’s door of the living room, wearing a large, poofy white dress: Guess what b*tches!!!

Yuu, in his arms, wearing a morning suit and top hat in grey and green, showing off their wedding band: We got MARRIED!!!

*Cue the Diasomnia members losing their minds for about 4 hours.*

Malleus: Where are you going?

Yuu, pouting: To get MYSELF a birthday gift because SOMEONE didn’t get me one!

Malleus: I told you! It’s coming on Monday!

Lilia, knowing that Malleus bought Yuu an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

*First Years Group Chat*

Ace: Yuu-kuuuun ~ can u pick ur best friend up at the station real quick? I forgot my wallet at the dorm

Yuu: SO THAT’S WHERE YOU ARE!? GRIM AND I WERE LOOKING ALL OVER FOR YOU, YOU BASTARD!

Ace: But it was supeeeer boring so i thought i should find a nice train to go to the beach but none came

Ace: …if u dont come i’ll post all ur embarrassing pics on the NRC chat lol

Jack: All of you, please come to the mirror chamber as soon as possible. There is an emergency.

Yuu: FUCK YOU

Deuce: We’re doomed!

Cater: Well, you’ve lived a good life, right?

Deuce: I’m only sixteen!

Cater: I said good, not long.