Mushrooms. You Were Mocked For Mushrooms. You Could Grow Them Anywhere, Any Kind You Liked, Whenever

Mushrooms. You were mocked for mushrooms. You could grow them anywhere, any kind you liked, whenever you wanted.

You coped with it. You were the fun guy at school. Made jokes at your own expense. No one paid much attention to you.

Your last straw was when George, stupid fucking Spiders George, left a dildo on your desk. A fucking mushroom dildo.

Embarrassed and seething, you began plotting. Did you know you could control mold too? You didn't as a kid, but you did now.

No one suspected you. Black mold started growing voraciously in your old school. It rendered the whole building unusable. But not before you poisoned a whole crop of bullies, people who'd called you useless, with the spores of a new fungus you'd bred in ants. You named it lovingly, "Ophiocordyceps Sporadus"

There wasn't mush room for error. You gave them two years before their skin began flaking in soft pieces. Their doctors were baffled by red spongey rashes. That was only the first stage.

You pushed their growth further. The fungal infection bloomed inside of their spines. Researchers were terrified. They thought only bacteria could become resistant to treatment. Fools.

A sickly shade of purple now laced beautifully over each victim. The public had noticed by now. They were horrified. You were pleased. You'd begun phase two.

They started coughing. A sharp acrid cough, full of spores. And they shed it too. The hospitals tried to stop it. But you just planted more, in different places.

By now, your victims grown fruiting bodies. Erupting from their mouths, their heads awkwardly thrown back in a permanent position.

Tall yellow phallic structures. Mushroom dildos. It was poetic. Suck that George.

Hospitals and heros were helpless.

The victims were dangerous. They rushed at any whiff human scent they found with hardened fungus claws. The only way out was to burn them. And they did.

Huge pyres of human bodies burned. The city reeked with death and roasted mushrooms. The world voted to lock down the entire city. It was condemned. But not before you left.

After all, you were young. And there was a world out there. People to meet. Mushrooms to collect. Civilizations to infect.

You have a completely useless superpower in a world full of amazing superpowers. You have been a laughing-stock for years, until you started using your powers for evil… nobody is laughing now.

do you happen to have a step by step of the froggies by chance? i am very bad at following textual instructions and i cant find anyone who might have done a step by step haha

@burakhovskys i can try to make a step by step post! it may be sort of long but definitely watch out for one as i'd be happy to further explain!!!

Imagine someone brings you a baby to heal and you have to explain to the parents why punching a baby in the face is gonna fix them right up

You have healing powers, but the way they work is unconventional. You call it “percussive-maintenence healing,” because in order to heal someone, you have to punch them in the face. You have tried other methods in the past, and they simply don’t work.

There was a knock at the door.

"COMING." You hollered from inside the bathroom of your shabby little apartment. You pulled up your boxers, grimacing at the bandage that covered the lash you'd recieved the other day before splashing some water on your hands. You forgot to flush the toilet - something you'd come to realize later as you scrambled over to unlock the 7 locks on the door.

There, stood a man, at least you thought he was a man, hunched over and peering into the door frame with a small foiled box in his hands. You squeaked, freezing for a moment before recovering quickly with your super hero reflexes.

"...Is this home of..." He peered at a little note the size of a tic tac box in his huge hands. "...Super.....ali...docious...expi..alidoshush?..." He mumbled through a thick scarf. His accent was thick and foreign, said slowly with a rumble that reminded you of a mountain.

"N-nope! Haha! Don't know who that is! N-never heard of 'em! Sorry bud! See ya!" You chuckled, tripping over your words. You swear you could see the evil aura waves squiggling about him, warning you away.

You start to slam the door but the man slams it back open with a huge. PAW?? OH MY GOD IT'S A PAW. Your internal voice screams - theres only one person or rather creature on earth with a paw that big.

"HOWLER?!?" you nearly shriek but the glare of his yellow eyes stop your voice from going too high. He clears his throat, clearly embarrassed.

"wife wanted me to bring bread to super..." He hesitates, peering at his note again. "...hero." he finishes, defeated.

"T-thank y-you?" You stutter back.

"you save wife yesterday. I thank you"

You start to remember, the anonymous call for help no hero seemed to answer, the syndicate kidnapping, and the lash on your leg as you pulled a sweet middle aged lady to safety. You wince and cover it with a polite smile, understanding now that you'd just saved the wife of just the city's BIGGEST SUPERVILLAIN.

"Ahaha! N-no problem man! Anyone would've done it, I just happened to get the call!"

Howler stares down at you. You can't tell if his eyebrows are furrowed or if he just looks like that but he seemed doubtful.

"no. You saved wife. I thank you" he insisted and dropped the aluminum foil box into your hands. It was heavy, though still warm, as if it hadn't come out of the oven too long ago. It smelled good. Like garlic and thyme and you remembered you hadn't eaten breakfast yet.

"uh...wanna come in?" You motion to your small dining room, as if it could fit a 7 foot tall wolf man and you inside.

"No. You make butt dirt. Smell like shit. I leave now." He mumbled again, tipping his cap to you and dissapears back towards the elevator around the corner.

Right. You hadn't flushed the toilet.

You are a rookie hero. While a dangerous supervillain was preoccupied, rival villains kidnapped his wife. You were the only hero willing to help get his wife to safety. The terrifying supervillain now wants to thank you in person.

For the sake of skincare I understand have a good day your honour

sorry. ground your boyfriend into a paste and applied him liberally under my eyes before i went to bed and now im fresh faced and glowing