six-white-venus - all i ever wanted was the world
all i ever wanted was the world

prose, poetry, and something more.

210 posts

Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately

Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately
Ive Been Bed Rotting In A Decidedly Self Destructive Way Lately

i’ve been bed rotting in a decidedly self destructive way lately

being and nothingness, jean-paul sartre // the metamorphosis, franz kafka // i am the architect of my own destruction, juansen dizon // albert camus // as consciousness is harnessed, susan sontag // ralph waldo emerson // allen ginsberg // tennesse williams // letters to felice, franz kafka // sylvia plath

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More Posts from Six-white-venus

6 months ago
DO I SEEM ANXIOUS TO YOU?

DO I SEEM ANXIOUS TO YOU?

DO I SEEM BACKED INTO A CORNER?

6 months ago

in honour of this account reaching 100 followers (and me not posting anything for more than a month, oops) i'm opening requests again! i cannot promise i'll do all of them, but do send some prompts, words or ideas my way. maybe i'll write you a little something :)


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6 months ago

ocd makes my brain melt

“OCD makes my brain melt,” a piece talking about a personal struggle with obsessive-compulsive disorder and the conflicting emotions it brings forth when one gives into their mind, but against their will.

When I find myself folding clothes when it isn’t a Sunday, I – more or less – think of the same three things:
1.     I hate emotions. I hate the way I cannot seem to have them and I hate the way I think less of myself when I do feel them. I hate emotions.

“Hatred, too, is an emotion.”
2.     There are always two sides to one coin. Youth can feel like it goes by too slowly, yet I only have 18 months of it left, and it filters through my fingers like black sand. Emotions are but distractions, distractions are but human. I am somewhere between wanting to pick my skin apart and soothing swollen cuts. I hate irregularity, yet here I stand, on a Friday, rolling t-shirts and hanging jackets.

“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”
3.     Everything I do is practiced. I grew up unequal, incongruent. I grew up practising 90-degree angles, squares and straight lines. I grew up less than, so I do more than necessary. Everything I do has all my head and none of my heart. Everything I do is muscle memory. 

“I feel safer.”
I hate emotions, but emotions are human. I am human. I hate confusion, but we are all graceful in our chaos. I hate spontaneity, but everything is in stride.

When the clouds crack open and bring the leaves of trees sinking down, I’ll catch a few in an open palm, as a reminder that something has to be there for it to go.
It is okay to be less than. It is okay to be too much. And it is okay to just be.

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