I Had Plenty Of Toys As A Kid But Today I Find Myself Reminiscing On The Ones I Didn't Have, That I Only

i had plenty of toys as a kid but today i find myself reminiscing on the ones i didn't have, that i only got to play with once or twice at friends' houses. like those marble tubes i was always jealous of because they reminded me of super monkey ball

usually when i had my eyes on a toy like that, it was because i wanted to use it in some greater design. my brother and i would often fill the entire room with huge contraptions, racetracks, or games made of multiple different sets of toys! we were definitely tinkerers, hehe ✨

at my grandparents' place up north – which i've only visited maybe three times total? – they had a set of hand-painted wooden blocks, the type with ramps and arches and stuff. i remember making 3d mario levels out of those blocks, even as far back as when i was nine years old!

just now, as i realized how much i missed those blocks, something in the back of my head said "what's stopping you from getting your own set?"

and honestly, not only is there nothing stopping me… i could totally still use those for the same purpose!

a lot of 3d modeling tools are really intimidating to me right now, and i could use something easy to sketch some ideas out if inspiration strikes, or just to practice creating in that way. some basic wooden blocks would be perfect for that~

i could also use my (frankly ginormous) collection of legos for a similar purpose, but i don't think it's quite the same… with legos i'm often tempted to hyperfocus on perfecting the details of my creation. they're a great tool for engineering, but too focused for level design.

part of me wants to say "then just don't be a perfectionist; block out the detailed parts and come back to them later." but i have adhd, and my hyperfocus often kicks in without notice.

meanwhile, wooden blocks force me to look at the bigger picture; they force me to sketch.

really what i'm learning from writing this out is that i need more physical props and toys to mess around with in general. they're great tools for spontaneous creation!

I have NO idea how I drew this. Before I stopped drawing, I couldn't draw a human to save my life. Since I restarted, I have drawn maybe a dozen humans total? And the progress I've made on each one is IMMENSE.

I don't know anatomy or perspective, and that's probably obvious to the trained eye. But somehow I made this work and I had fun doing it, so that's all that matters right now. Just amazed I can do this at all!

Get The Bananas, Rivers 🍌

Rivers finds a little friend 🦋

this is an admittedly trivial thing but i think i might finally break the intimidation factor of posting on my blog if i start referring to it as my "journal" instead

i don't know where i picked this up (and i'm only just realizing it) but sometime in the past few years my blog became like this sacred cornerstone of my online presence where i have to put my best foot forward and show off my finest finished works and, uh, No?

meanwhile a journal is messy and scattered, full of finished and unfinished ideas alike, that shows far more personality and insight than just The Big Stuff

plus i have a lot of personal attachment to carrying a journal around as a kid and excitedly showing off the pages

so yeah! i'm gonna do that now ✨

Here's a belated treat for Mario's 35th anniversary: an isometric maze built atop Mario's running animation from SMB1! Use the pipes to travel between the different layers and make your way to the finish.

This maze is a full overhaul of one that I drew on graph paper for Mario's 25th anniversary, a whole decade ago! Once I came up with the idea for the pipes, I just *knew* I had to digitize this one, heh ✨

new stream archive! in which i return to monke... i mean streaming. yeah, i think i'm finally back!