This Is The Kind Of Research We Need. No Joking, Its Very Much Needed And Appreciated. Thank You Very

This is the kind of research we need. No joking, it’s very much needed and appreciated. Thank you very much.

Why is Paul Landers So Damn Cute: An Analysis of his Lil Face

it’s common knowledge among the rammfam that paul is way too adorable for his own good, but what is it about his face that makes us go 🥺💖? today we’re breakin it down welcome to game theory

eyes:

paul has some incredibly happy lookin eyes. they’re very round, they’re a little hooded, and the hooded lid actually has a downward crease extending past his lash line making them look bigger, more downturned, and extra soft because they create a bit of a shadow at the lower outer corner of his eye (and this feature has actually grown more prominent with his age).

on top of that, he has a naturally very prominent aegyo sal. aegyo sal (korean for “cute skin”) is essentially a puffy tear bag, and is considered to be adorable to the point where people will use makeup to emphasize it like you can see below. it makes the eye look cute and smiley and BOY has paulchen got it

ON TOP OF THAT he’s got the smile-activated wrinkles around his eyes which are just charming; every wrinkle on this man’s face has come from smiling and i just think that’s fantastic :)

nose:

an adorable nose indeed! it’s skinny and pointy. from the side its fairly straight and it comes off his face at a sharp angle so it’s like a lil scalene triangle... it’s also upturned at the end (the nostrils and septum are lower than the tip) which makes it seem almost buttony from the front. It’s fairly small overall, and it actually lies almost perfectly in the center of his face which is very aesthetically pleasing as it makes for a very balanced sort of face

smile:

the little lines frame his smile and emphasize his round cheeks! it’s no news to anyone that paul has adorable marionette cheeks so there’s not much to say about that. there’s nothing especially unique about his lips but they are nice nonetheless! his mouth is a bit on the higher side (closer to his nose) which is a more youthful feature and adds to the babyfaced look, and I like the way his smile is fairly straight but just turns up at the corners it just looks so... :]

face shape:

ROUND! he has full cheeks with low cheekbones, and his jaw is on pretty much the same level as his chin, making the bottom of his face the same width as the top. the very round haircut emphasizes this, of course.

so that’s why paul looks so goddamn cute thanks

Baby *cries*

Richard: He just cries and cries and I don’t understand what he wants!

Paul: Guess, he wants to rewrite the guitar part for the 100th time really badly, our little diva baby boy.

Huge respect to Rammstein, to their staying true to themselves and remaining humble. I am so very happy that they exist on this planet

Do you think the members of Rammstein ever fathomed making it to where they have today? Like, seriously.

Do you think they ever consisting of rowdy punks who played nude and put chickens inside of drums and had silly band names like “Orgasm Death Gimmicks” and “First Arsch” ever thought they’d become an international name (fairly certain they’ve played at least once in every continent saave for Antartica… I mean, obviously) that’s sold out multiple times, never lost a member over its course of near thirty years, and hit high ranking spots in music charts not even from their own country (the Untitled album from 2019 hit number one in fourteen countries), all while doing so mostly entirely in their native tongue (save for Pussy, Amerika, Moskau, Stripped, Te Quiero Puta, and the two English versions of Engel and Du Hast although I think those never made it big and the first three are also primarily in German)?

(ft. Richard singing in the beginning?)

(shares a rift with Sehnsucht!)

Do you think they ever thought they’d sell out and perform across stadiums and in big venues (Schneider was very proud to become a stadium band in the 2019-2020 tour, Richard was very proud to perform in Madison Square Garden, cannot recall which interview as they’ve blurred together for me) when their first or so show in America had maybe thirty people?

(bottom photos by delfi.lv)

(ft. Bück Dich… but how the tables have turned?)

Do you think they ever thought they could top a simple music video trying to emulate masculinity in East German eyes, releasing Deutschland twenty-four years later with their highest production yet (I assume) which is an incredibly, passionately constructed dedication to German as opposed to a tacky looking perfume commercial?

Do you think they ever foresaw a life outside of a restrictive GDR, a life that’s brought them across the world, a life that’s lead them to multiple decades of being the best of friends, a life that’s been Rammstein?

I don’t think they ever did, and it’s a bit awe-inspiring, isn’t it?

Feel free to add in more comparisons from past to current, stories, whatever. Below are some more early shows compared to now and some more pre-Rammstein videos/songs. Audio means that there is no video, video means there is audio and video.

[video] Du Riechst So Gut, 1996 vs 2019

[audio and video] Heirate Mich, 1994 vs 2019

[audio] Big Dong by First Arsch, ft. Till and Paul singing- Till in English! (1. Oh, Paul… 2. Compare this with Yukon, another English song where Till sings!)

[video] In the studio, 1994

[video] Silly little Feeling B compilation, centered around Paul

[audio] To Be by The Inchtabokatables; I belieeeeevvvvvee Oliver played the bass during this album (White Sheep), but I could be wrong, so take this entry with a grain of salt.

[audio] Crime by Orgasm Death Gimmicks, and I just want to say… literally the best band name possible.

[video] Spacerace by Feeling B, because who can say no to Schneider’s hair here?

[video] Stitched together live compilations of songs to show them over time

[audio and video] Some rare performances (well… the playlist says so)

Your sixth most recent emoji is how your guardian angel feels about you

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

mondscheinsonate

Richard: All his clothes are 50 shades of blue((( Let’s dress him in red/green/florals/any other colour!

*On the street*

Every old lady: What a lovely baby girl!