You Can Call Him Whatever Awful Names You Want, And He Wont Get Mad

You can call him whatever awful names you want, and he won’t get mad

But if you bad-mouth his cat(s), you’re gonna get flayed

Do you think Geronimo is a cat person or a dog person? Or both? Or neither?

Personally, I think he’d exclusively be a cat person, purely because he’s terrified of dogs

Especially big dogs, since they love to jump on him (and they knock him over in the process)

I'd have to agree, he'd probably be a cat person. Cats are more independent than dogs, which to G would be a relief because he already has to deal with needy-ass punks in his workplace. He names his cat(s) after silly little things based on their appearance (he'd unironically name a cat Loaf or a variant of such), and he's very protective of them. He freaked out when Will drove through his front door with a steamroller in Great Diamond Robbery, one of the reasons being his cat was sitting near the front door at the time. As per William nature, he didn't care much about the cat, because hijacking your grandson's TV day is way more important than the possibility that you just ran over your grandson's pet cat. Here you go, another reason to hate William, you're welcome :D

ngl, with Erica treats Ben and the confusing age gap, I have to say it: Ben deserves better. They’re chill as friends, it’s just the “romance” that’s not doing it for me anymore. I actually kinda liked it in the first 3 books (I’m on book 5 now), but now it’s like, Ben, babes, go with literally anybody else.

Murray is out here tearing the country up for you. Go join him. /half joking/

Thank you! That’s what I’ve been saying! Berica peaked in the first few books. Back then, they had a good dynamic and no complications. But then book 4 happened then uh

Yeah

Ben really does deserve better.

Like come on man, Murray’s right there waiting for you /hj

Hear me out

Geronimo: The voice of reason (Aka: The braincell lender)

Nogouda: Heeds the voice of reason (Aka: The braincell borrower)

Sally and Crunchrat: Ignores the voice of reason, constantly either fight or work together to make the other two miserable (Aka: The wildcards)

Geronimo was definitely the one left behind at the gas station when he was a kid

Geronimo Summer Headcanons

-He has very sensitive skin, so he needs to use a special sunscreen with a high SPF

-He’s the kind of guy to read a book at the beach

-He’s that one parent who always makes sure everyone applies sunscreen

-Knows how to, but can’t swim very well

-Despises the bugs.

-Still wears his goddamn suit to work in 90 degree heat

Geronimo would completely own the Hunger Games

Once the chips are down, and he’s on his own, he’s gonna start going full axe murderer and cutting down whoever poses a threat

Say what you will, but he wants to get out of there alive, and he’ll do whatever it takes

And that man has a lot of repressed rage