I Posted Like A Tiny Bit To Ao3

i posted like a tiny bit to ao3

considering that the majority of this fic isn't anywhere near done i can't promise regular updates but i hope this... interests people??

next update will be when i finish the mari au

katya and dmitry (my beloveds), or discussing mutation motifs in texts from a biological and psychological standpoint

CONTENT WARNING: DISCUSSIONS OF MENTAL ILLNESS AND HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION.

READING-THIS WARNING: I MISINTERPRET STUFF A LOT, THIS IS PURELY MY INTERPRETATION OF THE SERIES. SORRY IF I'M WRONG. :(

When I first watched through Parties are for Losers and its respective songs, my brain was already whirring. Come on. I'm a Vocaloid nerd, obviously I have to look into it, and I know something is up, which means the analysis brain begins. I really enjoyed the Evillous Chronicles, and it seemed as though this was similar. Unlike it, this was actually in English (being set in Russia), and the narrative felt inherently more understandable, although that may just be because it's only 13 songs, compared to Evillous' 82.

AND it covers topics of biology and its affects on psychology. it's perfect. why have i never heard of this before??!?!?!?

There's a lot of aspects to explore within PafL, but I want to specifically focus on Katya (KT) and Dmitry, and their mutations, taking a biological and social approach to their current mental state. I will refer to Katya by her full "name" because it feels a little more humanising, and our baby girl deserves that.

Human experimentation/mutation is a fascinating topic to explore, because it questions the essence of humanity itself - how could you do that to another human being, a child, no less? End and Save is one of my favourite webtoon comics because of this. The abilities that these children gain typically have significant disadvantages, due to the inherently unethical nature of the creation. In some ways, the mutation itself explores corruption.

Biologically, genetic mutations are a natural occurrence, resultant from selection. We are nowhere near the current level needed to cause significant mutation like that of Katya and Dmitry's, and despite what most people think, there's actually no real intention to head in that direction. Therapeutic gene editing (LITERALLY MY SPECIALISED INTEREST. LIKE I WANT TO GO INTO THIS IN THE FUTURE. THIS IS PERFECT.) strays away from eugenics, and focuses on curing genetic disease. It's a fascinating topic of research, and one I hold dear to me. CRISPR my beloved

Katya's mutant ability is directly related to stress. It causes the extensive growth of tissue when she's in a stressful situation, and she has limited control over the flesh. This then has to be cut off, leaving serious wounds to heal on her skin.

art by Ferry

Taking this biologically, it would have to be mutation related to extreme cell division in tissue - in more simple terms, it's not unlike cancer, where a cell does not consider the required markers for division, and instead rapidly divides. Katya's seems far more controlled than cancer, sticking only to particular sites, and also significantly more extreme. Considering the stress required, it may actually be related to an influx of hormonal changes during stress sequences.

As a result of this, Katya is hypersensitive to the emotion of others and can tolerate a high amount of stress, with inherent optimism. She's relatively simple, and tries her best not to let her abilities weigh her down. In the end, she resigns herself to undeserving of true kindness, suggesting she has some well-hidden low self-esteem.

Dmitry's mutant ability seems more controllable, and therefore powerful, than Katya's. He has the ability to pick up anything, with vague limitations on weight, provided he knows specific location and it is within a 15 metre radius.

art by Ferry

Telekinesis from a biological standpoint? I'm not opening that can of worms. I'm not even gonna try. Make it up yourself. I'm pretty sure A Certain Scientific Railgun couldn't even really explain Kuroko's powers, and I'm one small scrawny rat.

Dmitry suffers severe physical consequences as a result of this ability, even using it regularly - severe headaches, loss of consciousness, and dizziness, which can been seen when he attempts to save Anya. Dmitry is significantly more cautious of the outside world than Katya is, and he's somewhat more hostile, threatening Yura and Sanya when he is blackmailed. However, he's practical, likely from the skills taught to him through use of telekinesis.

Dmitry and Katya were set out to have a negative relationship, due to the power dynamics between the two of them making them inherently different people. Dmitry was used for several years as an "assistant" to test Katya's abilities, and seems to hold a grudge with her over that. They have differing opinions on the outside world, particularly due to the way Dmitry's inhumanity was repeated to him often, as the lab researchers began to fear his power. He's not so pessimistic that he acts as contrast to Katya, but the clashing elements still causes them to go their separate ways in KT's Guide.

I couldn't find any specific links between the use of GUMI as KT and Fukase as Dmitry, but I'm sure there is some when considering the different Vocaloids used as a whole. I just wish I could understand what it was, but I don't quite know enough about Vocaloid as a whole for that. Alternatively, it could just be because of gender and the fact that both sound good with the style of the song.

song i wrote this listening to (after PafL, of course): sleep thru ur alarms by Lontalius

it's been a rough night, okay? i needed this as a distraction.

thanks so much to powercoreact for the suggestion! i genuinely really enjoyed this, and you hit my secret hidden love for vocaloid right in the feels. can you believe i watched this like an hour ago??? i feel like i've known it for years.

posting tiny snippets of fanfic until someone finds it interesting and i am motivated to finish it, part 4

content warning: gore, drowning.

[MARI - 25]

Mari plummeted through the grass, soil swallowing her up, suffocating her with darkness, she was drowning just like he did. Her hands disappeared and the Puppeteer’s gnarled fingers wrapped around her throat, yet you still did it you still did it you still did it you still did it

Mari gasped for air, choking in an inky black ocean, and the Puppeteer tightened its grip. She tried to scream out, but no words could be heard, her ears filled up with swollen water, leaking into her mind, fading out, the Puppeteer’s limbs tangled with her, pulling her down, lower and lower and lower and lower…

Mari crashed onto solid ground. The Puppeteer was gone.

She looked around, picking up her shovel. A small note was written on the handle.

A shovel for burying your sins.

A movie theatre. Everything was dark like the ocean. Rows of seats stretched on forever, down to a brightly lit stage. The stage had nothing on it.

Shh! The movie is about to start!, said No-One. The theatre was empty. 

Mari moved down the stairs, shielding her eyes from the light. Something drew her to it. Her fingers were missing. 

Shh! The movie is about to start!, repeated No-One. Shh! The movie is about to start!

Her hands were missing. She dropped the shovel, but she kept walking.

Shh! The movie is about to start! A chorus sang those words piercingly, like a choir at a church. Shh! The movie is about to start!

Her arms were missing. She reached the stage.

Shh! The movie is about to start!

Mari looked down. Her body was missing. She was missing. 

You are meant to be here.

A man with a crooked neck stared at her with harshly dyed black hair. His eyes were white scribbles. He was the movie.

You were born to be here.

The man reached into her neck and pulled out her throat.

PafL

Parties are for Losers

From Ferry

You can find it on YouTube for free.

Each song describes some events, usually from the same narrator throughout one song.

It uses Vocaloids which can be interesting.

another ask yayy

I am a massive Vocaloid nerd. you've discovered my weakness.

see you with an analysis soon.

I MISSED A THEME???????? rereads whole fanfic

hey, "pretty accurate" is a compliment. (?)

the relevance of arcs in the DreamScape AU, or trying my best to make predictions

WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE OMORI DREAMSCAPE AU - THIS ANALYSIS ASSUMES YOU HAVE READ UP TO THE CURRENT LATEST CHAPTER (14) PLEASE READ IT!!! ITS GOOD!!

CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE.

READING-THIS WARNING: I'M STUPID AND MISINTERPRET THINGS SOMETIMES, ITS ALL MY ANALYSIS AND DO REMEMBER THAT IT CAN BE WRONG/BAD/STUPID SOMETIMES

*cracks knuckles*

Let's do this.

Determining the Goal of Each Arc

If a story is formatted in a particular way, typically it has a specific goal for that. You learn this back in the years of High School English, when you start to understand the point of plays being separated into acts. They have somewhat different stories, but ultimately link to the same final goal, or final climax of the story.

In DreamScape's instance, it is split into three arcs. An arc (in other contexts) typically refers to the development and eventual resolution of a particular theme or aspect - such as a character arc, which portrays character development over a period of time. I tend to use arc when referring to characters, so I'll capitalise when referring to the actual in-text arcs.

I believe that it is possible to use our understandings of the current Arcs to determine where loose ends might be tied up in Arc 3. We know for certain the ending is "bittersweet" - somewhat good, somewhat bad, not unlike the original game.

Arc 1

The first Arc provides us with the most understanding, since it's complete, but it's relatively easy to miss the goal of the Arc, considering how much is going on. We gain understanding of DreamScape as a location and a plot device, and begin to understand the characters centered around it, which is a lot to process.

The importance of the events that occur is obvious. Sunny fucks with the program, revives Mari, and causes a shit ton of problems, including seriously injuring Basil. Basil knows the truth of Mari's weird online activity, and Sunny is trying to fix the problem he made, causing more problems on the way. In the meantime, Kel and Hero wrestle a dysfunctional relationship, and Aubrey and Basil aren't on good terms.

Despite all this, the finale of the Arc is focused on Aubrey's relationship with Sunny, and it deliberately doesn't end with the creation of the Mari virus - that's the beginning. Having it as an ending would be a relatively reasonable ending for a beginning arc, so why wasn't it?

I believe the goal of the first Arc revolves around Aubrey/Kim/Kel discovering what Sunny has done, and also reader discovering the "truth" about Mari's death, as well as the way Sunny's life rotates around it. Rather than a journey of creation, it is a journey of discovery.

Mari's suicide is first directly described in Chapter 10, and so is Sunny's suicide attempt (mimicking his sister's). We also see Sunny's direct involvement in Mari's death - while her legs breaking was already mentioned, here we see Sunny curled up in the corner, sitting with Mari's dead body, when Aubrey finds him. We see Sunny mimic Mari's suicide, and we get one of the most key lines of this arc-

From this, we learn more about Sunny as a character before the events of her death, and the nature of the destruction of Aubrey and Sunny's relationship, indirectly destroying Aubrey and Basil's relationship at the same time. Similar to the original game (except actually explicit), we watch how the friendship group broke up. This is the goal of the first Arc - much like the Truth Segment of the original game, we are understanding what happened in the past.

The first Arc also introduces Kel and Hero's clashing personalities, and also introduces Kim, to act as "Aubrey's Hero" (at least for this section). Kim and Hero are third-parties who don't like and rarely interact with DreamScape, although they are later required to. I believe setting up these characters makes them more relevant later.

Arc 2

As of current writing, this Arc is incomplete, which makes it difficult to determine its main goal. However, we can look at the current state of events and determine a potential conclusion from there.

Arc 2 has us understand more about the Mari virus, and its interaction and storage of memory. It also introduces Sweetheart, as well as Hero's bargain with her, and it foreshadows/demonstrates severe destruction of DreamScape.

The sequences wherein Sunny enters Mari's memories are very reminiscent of several Truth sequences in the original game. Even the images reflect this, depicting Sunny falling through a red sea; or the hospital. It depicts a continuum of Mari's memory, which also foreshadows the destruction of the way Sunny perceives time.

Despite the horrific nature of it, we know Sunny enjoys being with Mari or acting as her, in her memories - his obsession with his sister has driven him to insane lengths to see and feel her again, punishing himself . In this way, Sunny now acts as an antagonist, where his goals are somewhat beyond reader empathisation and understanding, pivoting them to want him to get help. It may be that we rarely see Sunny as the main perspective onward, but it's perfectly possible for that to not happen as well.

It is likely the game will be immensely broken from here on, or at least somewhat changed. I also predict Sunny will break free from Sweetheart's weird little lab to cause further destruction, because it would ultimately lead to a more interesting future climax.

Considering Loose Ends for Arc 3

The Potential Ending of DreamScape (as a game): Considering the best possibility for a bittersweet ending, the destruction/abandonment of DreamScape as a game would tie up Sunny's grieving and acceptance character arc. Though Hero's focuses on the use of DreamScape to heal grief, Sunny is more relevant and requires more support. Either the virus itself will ruin the game, or Sunny will choose to leave it.

Understanding the Mari Virus: At the present moment, Sunny (and everyone else) has a very limited understanding of the virus - we understand why it is there, and somewhat understand what it can do, but nothing of its extent. Surprisingly, we also understand little about its creation. Either another character will introduce a better understanding of it and its potential, or we learn from Sunny's experience.

A Possible Sunny Final Boss Fight?: Could be an interesting avenue to go down as complete corruption threatens the game, but also threatens Sunny's safety. Aubrey has already fought Sunny before, so it's not impossible. However, that fight also didn't achieve any goals of the other parts of the main cast.

Kel and Hero's relationship: I feel absolutely confident it won't stay this way forever, and we can already see slight change. This also goes for Aubrey and Basil. Whether or not the entire friendship group is revived is debatable, and potentially unlikely, considering Sunny's apparent differences.

Kim as a Character: Putting this here because she's apparently going to get more relevant. This may be because she knows something we do not, or perhaps to understand Aubrey more.

Sweetheart and her Crew: These characters definitely know more about DreamScape than the reader, as is evident by their relevance in the second Arc, as such I believe they might be beneficial to keep around for the next Arc.

Sunny's Eviction/Expulsion Threat: While stated to be five months away, time has been slipping from Sunny's grasp recently, meaning that this is definitely going to become relevant again soon.

Sunny's Physical and Mental Wellbeing: Need I say more?

Basil and Unrequited Love: The pining is probably going to get worse from here, especially considering Sunny's current state. It is possible Basil will have an internal strife between his desire to see Sunny happy and what is best for him.

There's definitely more. It's like, insanely early. I stopped having a train of thought twenty minutes ago. But I hope you enjoyed this!

Omori and its parallels with OCD, or my personal connection to this game

SPOILER WARNING: AS USUAL, MAJOR OMORI SPOILERS FOR MOST ENDINGS AND THINGS.

CONTENT WARNING: MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM, SUICIDE, SEVERE MENTAL ILLNESS, DEATH, LOSS AND OMORI-TYPICAL CONTENT. I will also be referring to my own intrusive thoughts a lot, so please take caution if it might trigger you to spiral.

DISCLAIMER: I AM BY NO MEANS A MENTAL HEALTH PROFESSIONAL. I am in the process of seeking a diagnosis (we're getting there :) ), but it has been otherwise confirmed by professionals that I experience OCD. This post is about my personal experience with OCD and trauma, and the way I believe these feeling manifest in the game. I don't believe Sunny or Basil experience OCD, but I want to compare my experiences with obsession, compulsions and trauma-related OCD. Other people may have completely different experiences, and those are valid!

You could call this catharsis, some form of healing. Really I'm doing this for myself, which was kind of why I started writing Omori analysis in the first place (???). and im a nerd for this game

Guilt

Guilt has always been one of my biggest hurdles, and it's also a very relevant theme in Omori.

For the longest time, my brain and I have been actively trying to develop compulsions to cope with guilt, and it seems to consistently fail. I've tried singing songs on repeat, extreme self-harm, distraction, avoidance ect, and nothing seems to work. Sure, I've never committed recital day, but even small things can make me feel horrifically guilty, as my intrusive thoughts tell me I'm a horrible person or a liar.

I see this in Sunny, too. For the longest time, his mind has been trying to cope with the guilt, and it chose to delve deep into repression. But no matter how much he represses, the truth is still there, and so that guilt is still there.

The Fear Polaroids in the Omori Route are also a representation of guilt, as is the mirror during the Truth segment, both depicting Sunny has a hideous demon. My intrusive thoughts depict me as a demon, too, doing horrific things to myself and others. The images of mutilated, demonic Sunny capture the... inhumanity that my mind makes me feel.

I get it, Sunny. I don't feel human either.

Mewo's Death as an Intrusive Thought

Cat Dissection is an interesting area of Black Space, in that its immediate relevance to the truth is less obvious. It's also one of the more horrifying ones - on my first playthrough, I was running blind, and I figured you'd have to kill Mewo for the key. You do not. my biggest regret

Mewo is obviously linked to Mari, but at the time, we'd only ever seen this slightly mentioned in the real world photo album. At that point in Black Space, Mewo was closely tied to Sunny and Omori, being an essential part of White Space.

The player can stab themselves to get out, or cut open Mewo and suffer the regret. This room feels very reminiscent of a gruesome intrusive thought that just won't go away, those days where you see yourself murdering all your friends, or violently injuring yourself. Much of Sunny's hallucinations, or creatures like Something, also mimic this kind of thing.

That room has far deeper analysis to dive into, but this is as far as I'll go for this segment.

Compulsive Behaviour - Repetition

Basil is probably the first character that comes to mind when I think of compulsive behaviour. His most iconic line...

This sort of repetitive action is the root of a compulsion - an attempt to relieve anxiety. Whether or not Basil fits the criteria of needing repeat those words otherwise something bad might happen is unknown, but this sort of behaviour is very relatable in my experience.

I have a tendency to not be consciously aware, but others notice that I'll mumble things to myself. Typically this is me trying to talk back to my intrusive thoughts, as far as I know, and trying to confirm to myself that they're wrong. This will often end in asking someone else or doing research to confirm.

By repeating these things, Basil is trying to ward off the reality, which is that everything isn't okay at all, and likely won't be. But the specific framing is future-oriented - he isn't saying that things are okay right now, he's saying that they will be. This could link to my later point about uncertainty.

Avoidance

Not many people talk about avoidance behaviours as a compulsion, which is probably why much of my OCD went unnoticed as a child. You don't really consider mental compulsions, and avoidance can be very easily hidden, especially if you the ability to force yourself through something if you have no other options.

While it's not exactly the same, Sunny's repression of rooms in his house and the shaking head that prevents you from going to particular areas are forms of avoidance. The sliding glass door that leads to the backyard and the piano room are the most notable - it's not repressed, it's there, but Sunny shakes his head every time you interact with it. He can't go in there. He just can't. There's no explanation for the player.

I relate to that. I have strange rules that mean I can't do things. I just can't. There's no real explanation for myself, either, and sometimes I don't even get intrusive thoughts of the consequences, just some insistence that I can't do it. Perhaps this was confusing or frustrating for the player, but I found it incredibly realistic.

Uncertainty and Abandonment Issues

I've heard somewhere that OCD is, ultimately, a fear of uncertainty. As a result of this disorder, combined with trauma, I also have abandonment issues the way Basil does.

Even before the recital day, Basil's abandonment issues are prevalent. He clings to the group with the photo album, preserving his memories. He took photos of the things he didn't want to lose. After the recital day, Basil really did lose everything, and he was broken as a result of that.

I imagine this sort of thing was one of his regular worries, everyone abandoning him, Sunny in particular. And I can relate to that - one of my more common intrusive thoughts is others leaving me after they find out I've done something horrible. It makes you want to shut off from relationships, just to be safe - what if everyone leaves?

I think that 'what if' is what made Basil so attached to Sunny in the present day of the game. He wants to save Sunny, he wants to make things back to the way they were before, but at the same time, there's this uncertainty - Sunny is moving? Sunny is leaving? What will happen? What if everything gets worse?

This wasn't the easiest to write, but thank you for reading.