You Know Those Anime Meta Posts Along The Lines OfI Was Born With Pink Hair. The Doctors Told My Parents

You know those anime meta posts along the lines of “I was born with pink hair. The doctors told my parents I was a Main Character and ever since my life has not known peace from demons/spirits/sports competitions/harems who find me”

Well I see that, and I raise you this:

An anime boy whose appearance is, by absolutely anyone’s account, completely and utterly average. Mundane hair. Mundane eyes. Not even glasses to set him the tiniest bit apart. A simple, unmemorable, unrecognizable civilian among a backdrop of millions.

And he has a lot of passions, and a lot of ambitions, which he hones every chance he gets. He’s dabbled in sports and archery and cooking and just about anything you could wrap a competition around. And he’s competed in many of these. Every chance he gets. With all of his passion and all of his might.

He’s crushed by the competition every single time.

Until one day–one day something clicks for him. Something that should have seemed obvious from the start and yet never was–as though everyone, including himself, was unwittingly blind to it. It clicks, when he realizes every kid who’s beaten him in competition, every kid who’s gone on to fame and glory and acclaim, has been some candy-haired gel-spiked ridiculously-dressed fucker. 

There’s some trend there that this Main Character boy can’t explain and can’t understand but he decides, this one time, fuck it. He’ll play along too. He’s got a model train competition in four days, and he’s got nothing more to lose. He hits up the department store, buys the pinkest, noxious-est, fruitiest hair dye he can find, the spikiest hair gel available, and the gaudiest clothes on the thrift rack. He enters the model train competition looking like a bubble gum gijinka.

And he wins.

Suddenly, the other candy-haired contestants notice him. They talk to him. They pledge rivalries. Girls notice him. Judges applaud him. Acclaimed model train aficionados offer him internships across the world. He’s hit on something. 

The main cast expands to cover just about every candy-hair cliche in the book: from the mostly-normal-looking demure school girl with the blue hair to the Naruto-est, yelling-est boy with the red-and-green spiked hair. The cool megane senpais, the purple haired tsunderes, suddenly everyone is interested in him. They’re prodigies and upstarts and underdogs and they truly believe that this main character boy is one of them.

So the main character boy maintains his ruse. He touches up his roots at dawn every morning and carefully attends to his gelled spikes and tells absolutely no one about this great, uncanny, unfathomable secret he’s stumbled upon. He wins his competitions left and right. He racks up the acclaim. He’s hailed as a prodigy of all trades, just now bursting onto the scene, and boils to the top of all his candy-haired peers.

He’s rising up, his every dream within his grasp. Until one day he gets a note under his door, taped to an old picture of his Normal Boring self from middle school, that says “You don’t belong”

It’s Moreau’s birthday and the lords reminisce over the first time they met him

Asriel's fun to draw

New comic! How comparison is the thief of joy because no one ever gives me pie.

Check out my new webcomic at everythingisgoingtobeokcomic.com!

rereading my own writing is just a constant fluctuation between "damn, girl, you wrote this? (affectionate)" and "damn, girl, you wrote this? (derogatory)"

I have done the KOC (Kinda Orphans Crew), time for the Children of Omnicron! (Whom I also love) We have:

Mean Rudolf the red-nosed reindeer (who is on fire

Fenrir thought that naming his human self after a wolf would be ironic. However, it only makes him sound like an edgelord.

Will send shit up in flames to make himself laugh. Deena tries to repair affected lifeforms whenever possible. Also used to set shit on fire to piss Metta off.

Unironcially enjoys fucking with Ross. Ross was pissed at first but now he just tries to get Fenrir back via tomfoolery. This has turned into a prank war, but with more fire.

Most of the time, he chooses to switch to Fona at reasonable times and locations. Reason gets thrown out the window is Fenrir gets even slightly cold.

Boasts to the other CoO that he looks the most like the MC. He shut up when Nadine mentioned that that means that he looks the most like Deena. (Zetta wonders how a wolf would have 2 deer, 2 dragons, a bird, a ball?, and a fish as his children)

Battles Celine and Petram to relieve destructive tendencies that build up over time. Celine enjoys these bouts immensely, and Fenrir refuses to admit if he does or not. (He does)

Was intially standoffish to the MC after resurrection, but quickly became attached to them. Has literally walked into the Parum Guild as Fona to ask where they were.

A nerfed, pissed-off bird

Literally just thought that Nadine was a pretty name. Didn't give it much thought.

Likes to cause random windstorms to fuck with the guild specifically. Will not do it if KOC is nearby.

Is currently trying to get Nora to be more assertive and aggressive. Nora has used her 'newfound' assertiveness to ridicule Nadine on her previous decisions.

Honestly spends more time as Ventra than as Nadine. Lands and sleeps on Deena's airship to annoy her.

Mainly avoids the other CoO. Only really engages with the others to either suggest stupid shit to them or do stupid shit to them. (Except Grunda)

Has developed a respect for Lydia's hunts and her control of the greater drakes. Had a similar respect for Metta's Nexolord conquests.

Tries to be a cryptic, cool aunt but just comes off as overdramatic. The MC doesn't mind though.

A dolphin with bad volleyball skills

Merida sounded like 'mermaid', so she went with that. Zetta said she didn't look like one and she tried to drown him.

Only really uses her powers if she gets mad. Which is often. i.e. Volleyball matches.

Finn has been insistent on battling her for practice, which has annoyed her to no end. She eventually decided that beating him into the ground repeatedly would make her feel better. The same worked for when Metta was being annoying.

Very reasonable with switching between Arqua and Merida. However, she will switch 100% of the time if given the chance to fuck with the Guild. Block the harbor? Constantly sit or stand in the corner of Lobo's eye to fuck with him? Sleep on Deena's personal airship, as recommended by Ventra? Nothing is out of the question.

Talks to the other about life advice, surprisingly. Gets good advice from Grunda and Deena, gets bad advice from Fenrir and Nadine. Doesn't even try to ask Zetta for advice.

Nolan is the only person in the entire continent who is willing to play volleyball with her. This is because his volleyball skills are on the exact same level as Merida's.

Actually really likes the MC. Has tries to convince them to have a volleyball match with her, but they were always suddenly busy. It can't be helped, Merida supposes.

Purple, juiced Rayquaza

Tried to think of the most random name he could to piss off the rest of his siblings. Thus, Zetta. He also chose it to shit on Metta.

Shocks people at random times to fuck with them. Also causes power outages for fun, except in Cadium. The Guild does not appreciate this.

He thinks that Coco is the coolest thing since sliced bread, despite Coco's protests. Zetta has multiple scratches to show for this, but he doesn't mind. In fact, he says in makes him look cool.

Honestly, he only switches now to show off in front of others. He is just slightly too big to not cause a nationwide panic when he switches to Luxa. (That doesn't stop him though.)

Ya know those younger siblings who ask about every single thing they see who have no brakes or filter whatsoever? Yeah, that's Zetta. Man hasn't been above ground for like, 800 years. Shit's changed and he's curious.

Bothers Logan constantly. Logan just wants to do unethical science without this thousands-of-years old child knocking on his window at 3 in the morning.

Overprotective of the MC, of all things. Respects their power but is also like, "That's the only(?) member of the family that is younger than me! I'm not losing this opportunity to embarrass them!" Also tries to be the cool uncle.

Old Godzilla that runs an orphanage

Had a human name once, but honestly forgot it a long time ago. The others think it's hilarious when he introduces himself as Grunda to humans.

Does not really use his powers anymore. Only really uses them to remove large rocks that the orphanage kids could injure themselves on. (lord, he has gotten soft)

All of KOC come to him when they do stupid things because they know he won't as upset with them due to Grunda witnessing their history of doing stupid things. The KOC and Metta, a long time ago, are correct.

Almost never switches anymore. When he does though, it's only because the KOC or, rarely, FRN asked him to. They like to sit on his head.

Has been using the other CoO's exploits as bedtime stories at the Orphanage for a long time now, but modifed to more kid friendly versions. The first time each of CoO came in individually the kids were all ecstatic because "Mr. Grunda's brother/sister was here and they had heard so much about them!" (The other CoO never know what to do with several tiny human children all trying to talk and play with them at once.)

Leo lives with at the Orphanage now. Nobody knows how this 13 year old child managed to move across the continent without anyone knowing, but Nora theroizes that Ross had something to do with it. Leo also doesn't know that Grunda is the Grunda, somehow.

Easily has the best relationship with the MC. It happens when you raise someone from practically birth. Grunda did have practice with literally all of the others, after all.

A deer-plant-thing that can kick your ass

Deena was just a name that felt right. Only chose it after being disowned, however. Metta was never able to figure out her human form because of this.

Mainly uses her powers to restore life to lifeless places. The others think that it is a fruitless endeavor, but Deena finds joy in the small things it produces.

Surprisingly, Riley has come to her for ass kicking lessons. Deena was initially surprised until she found out Riley was using those lessons to prevent Finn from doing stupid shit. Nolan eventually joins.

Switches the most out of all of the siblings. Mainly does it to help MC get used to their Tyrant form. Also will give rides if asked politely.

The other CoO come to her to break them out of jail. At this point, they have their own private 'Primordial Tryant Time Out' jail at the Parum Guild headquarters, courtesy of the other Guildmasters.

Fucks with Xanders constantly. Has convinced the other CoO to do so as well. Nadine was especially gun-ho about it.

Has been trying to not pressure the MC with the whole 'I'm you mom' thing. The MC is very hesitant as well, but they primarily ask her about guild things and Tyrant things, just to get used to her presence.

And a ball of ribbons out for revenge, which isn't new

Never really gave himself a human name. He never felt like it was appropriate.

Uses to power to extract revenge upon his siblings and his niece/nephew. Success... varies.

Doesn't really talk to anyone anymore. He kinda misses it after being forced to talk to people nonstop as the Nexolord.

Always Metta. The first time he switched back to 'The Nexolord' was to, predictably, fuck with his niece/nephew.

Refuses to interact with the other CoO due to their involvement with Omnisun's ascension. He refuses to admit that he misses them.

Also fucks with the N1 Protagonist when applicable. Primarily through Venefelis' existence.

Fucking hates his niece/nephew.