I Have The Motivation To Do So Many Things, But I Only Have The Energy For Half A Thing

I have the motivation to do so many things, but I only have the energy for half a thing

me: *drinks coffee for the taste*

me: It won't make me any less tired.

my heart: AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!

If a mermaid were to lay eggs, and a centaur were to fertilize them, would the offspring be half fish/half horse or....??

I’m like eight times more productive when I’m tired as hell and fuming with quiet rage

Me: I don't have the energy for this

Someone: For what?

Me: *gestures vaguely*

Weird Stuff I've Heard in Orchestra #3

~Our director has just drawn a map of the US from memory~ "That's only 49, we're missing one." "Which one are we missing?" "Someone pull up a map." "UTAH! We're missing Utah!" *chorus of: Oooh...*