I'm The Slowest Writer To Ever Exist, Because I'm 95% Paralyzed By Perfectionism And Anxiety. I Get So

I'm the slowest writer to ever exist, because I'm 95% paralyzed by perfectionism and anxiety. I get so in my head that I labor over single sentences for days. Sometimes weeks. A single 160 character tweet takes me at least an hour to write and rewrite ten times. Despite that, since 2012, I've written four full length novels, two novellas, and 460k words of fanfiction, which amounts to another six and a half novels.

Was all of that stuff good? Listen, my first two novels are fucking unreadable. The rest? Depends on who you ask. But whether they're good isn't the point. I wrote them. Letter by letter. Word by word. Sentence by goddamn sentence. I don't think you can do it, I fucking know you can, because I somehow managed it with a brain that spends most of its waking hours punching itself in the face, like the world's dumbest bully.

I'm not gonna tell you to believe in yourself. For someone filled with insecurity or self-loathing, believing in yourself can feel as far away as the moon. Much too distant to even contemplate. So no, you don't have to believe in yourself. You just have to keep going, no matter how you feel about you. You can be motivated by all kinds of things. Personally, I'm a big fan of spite. I will write because I was told not to write. I will write because I have a one-sided battle in my mind with everyone who ever doubted me, called me names, hit me, or treated me like I didn't have value.

Long story long, I believe in you, even if you don't. So, just fucking do the thing. Because you can.

I know you can.

You know what? I believe that you can finish your writing project. I believe you can update your fic. I believe you can work on your WIP. I don't care if you think it's cringy or bad. I don't care if we've never met or interacted in our whole lives. I believe in you. Keep going - you've got this.

Heh heh heh

Um. Uh. What are you...why...I can't...

I felt this deep.

Really deep.

Balls deep.

If I could do it all over again, I'd definitely be a slut. I always wanted to be one, but I was too self-conscious because I didn't like my body and I thought no one else would either. It took age to understand that there's literally always someone who wants to fuck you at any given moment. Like right now, there's someone within a mile of you who will happily blow your back out if you give them the green light. But now I'm married and monogamous and boring, but I'm a slut in my heart, because honestly, I never had any interesting experiences NOT being a slut, and that seems a waste.

non-practicing slut. is this anythign

God this is relatable. All the different ways in which I could end up holding hands with Bobby lives in my head every day.

i feel like i’ve reached a new level of degeneracy every time i’m like “oh boy time to think about The Scenarios” and it’s just me holding hands with a fictional guy