Did I Just-- Did I Just Swoon Over TIM?

Did I just-- did I just swoon over TIM?

I fucking did. I swooned over Tim. This is unacceptable. I DEMAND A SEQUEL.

Wait, what?

Yesterday

S1 | Tim/MC | 5500+ words | @mrsbsmooth

After Love Island, Tim really has it all; the career; the money; any girl in the world he wants ... well, maybe except one, the girl he left Love Island with, the person he once thought was the one. Not that he cares, he definitely doesn't care.

Tim pulled the BMW into the studio parking lot, and threw it in park the tiniest bit too early, drawing a grinding, crunching noise from the engine. 

“Whoops,” he muttered, as he grabbed his cap, scrambling out of the car. He left it parked slightly askew, knowing no one would trouble him about it. Not that he’d be bothered if they did.

His music switched from his car to his headphones, and he pulled them over his ears as he walked down the long, winding pathway and into the oversized glass building. He skipped through the samples he’d been sent, and yet again, nothing caught his interest.

None of the hooks were right. Or the pacing was off. Or the vibe… it just… it wasn’t… 

He sighed. He was only about twenty minutes late for the meeting. On time, really, considering how irregularly he even remembered they were on. 

But Talia probably wouldn’t mind. Probably. 

Talia had taken over as his manager when they left the villa, mostly because she knew the industry and Tim didn’t. And she was a very good manager. A great manager. Didn’t take shit from anyone. Didn’t seem to care if he was late for meetings with the studio execs. 

Except she’d been messaging him all morning.

Talia: Where the fuck are you holy shit

Talia: Get here NOW!!!!!!!

Talia: You are so fucked

Tim grimaced as he jogged up to the lift. 

Timye: mate im almost there chill out

He watched the three dots appear and disappear multiple times, as he walked towards the conference room he always met the execs in. Pushing open the glass door, head bowed down as his attention went back to his phone, he was already sprouting out an measly excuse to his lateness.

“Sorry, mates, had a bit of car trouble and I–”

He’d looked up and his heart sank into his stomach, catching sight of the jet black hair and poisoned stare that he’d hoped to never encounter again. 

Chelle.

“What’s she doing here?” He asked loudly to the room of people whose names he couldn’t be arsed to remember. 

Chelle rolled her eyes. “She just got signed to this label.”

Tim turned to the execs, his eyes finding the only one he remembered. “Nicky, you signed her? Seriously? Come on! I’m like, your biggest client!”

Nicky raised his eyebrow, frowning at Tim. “Well, we were going to discuss it at the last meeting… but you weren’t present.”

Tim frowned, taking his seat next to Talia. “I’m not happy about this.”

“Well,” Talia raised an eyebrow. “You’ll be a whole lot less happy once they tell you why you’re both in the same room right now.”

And boy, was she right. 

“Nope, not happening.” He shook his head. “Not a chance in hell.”

“Tim, you don’t exactly have a choice in the matter,” Nicky frowned. “You haven’t released any music in six months. You told us you’d have something done by February, and it’s March. We need a summer album release, and Chelle has assured us she can make it happen.”

“I can make it happen without her help.” Tim sneered, but Nicky just shook his head.

“Your reassurances won’t cut it anymore, we want something we can actually work with.”

Every fibre of his body was shaking with rage, yet the only sound that escaped him was a laugh. It was the sort of derisive sneer that could match one of Allegra’s, but he felt he’d outdone her with that one. 

“Typical,” he said, the word coming out with the unhinging of his jaw.

“What was that, Big T?” Chelle spat. Her fingernails drummed across the table at her impatience with him. Nothing new then. “If you’ve got something to say, why don’t you say it with your full chest, big man?”

He spun to look at her directly, finally looking her in the eye. The fire behind her brown iris matched the flames behind his own. “Fuck you, Chelle,” he said, barely managing to get it out through gritted teeth. “How’s that for saying it with my chest?

She replied with a short burst of humourless laughter, before cooing at him, “Aww, poor Tim. Is someone making you do work? Boohoo.” She leant forward in her chair towards him. “Let me play you a sad song on the world’s smallest violin.”

“Alright, that’s enough, you two,” Nicky intervened again. He was pointing between the pair of them like he was giving a stern talking to some naughty school kids. “You’re working together. That is final. Now grow up, and get to work. We expect to see some progress by the end of the week.”

Tim’s gaze was hot on Chelle’s and hers right back at him. He left the meeting in stony silence.

Tim was lying on his couch, feet on the coffee table that was strewn with ripped magazines and scrunched up beer cans from the night before, losing to Mason 3-0 in FIFA. The roll up was in the ashtray, smoky tendrils filling the room, mixing with the stale smell of the room.

“My fuckin’ controller’s acting up.”

“That’s the exact sort of bollocks a Toby would say.”

“Gretchen, stop trying to make ‘Toby’ happen,” Tim whined, not taking his eyes from the TV for a second, as he snapped back at Mason.

An intense encounter had them both too distracted to do anything more than purse their lips and mutter out some self encouragement.

He was mid play, eyes pinned to the telly, when the lift dinged. He ignored the noise, ignored the two steps of Talia’s heels entering the open living room, the sharp clang of those pinpoint heels unmistakable on his expensive and cold floor.

Hard to ignore though, was the piercing way his name ripped from her lips. “Tim.”

She sounded like his mum. Now wasn’t the time to take his eyes from the TV, so he kept on playing, replying back in the same tone. “Talia.”

He heard her sighing heavily and made no comment on it. “I came to check on you and ask about the samples Chelle sent you today?”

At the mention of her name, his brows furrowed and his stomach twisted into a knot. “Yeah, I got them.”

He offered nothing more. The silence lingered as Talia waited, only ending up disappointing herself as he stayed quiet.

“And did you listen to them?”

It bothered him that the clear frustration in her tone was so directly and responsibly at him, with him. The knot in his belly only doubled, cinching his own frustrations even tighter.

“Why would I?” He replied, his mind wandering further and further from the game. Mason just scored, assaulting the air with a jovial pump of his fist. Tim just scowled even harder. “Just tell her they’re shit and send them back.”

As the screen cut to black before showing a replay of Mason’s goal, Tim saw a flash of Talia’s own scowl being directed at the back of his head in the reflection of the telly.

It was followed by the storming of her heels on the hard flooring. Crossing the room to the TV, she heartlessly ripped the power cord out of the back of the Playstation, sternly maintaining her silence over Tim and Mason’s loud protests.

Mason was very much forgotten about as Talia rounded on Tim, finger wagging at him as she slowly and surely closed the distance between them. “You’re not a fucking soundcloud rapper any more, Tim. You have a record deal. And you need to put something on that record if you want to keep it.”

Mason waved over at Tim. “He’s a number one selling artist. Lad’s entitled to a break if he wants it -”

“He isn’t meant to be on a break right now, this is meant to be when he’s working on something like he promised!”

Shaking his head, Mason stood, cracking his knuckles. “Pfft, man, if Talia’s about to pitch a fit, I’m out.”

Talia glared at him, as Tim tried his best not to laugh. He reached out, slapping Mason’s hand as a farewell on Mason’s way to the lift. He turned to Talia, and sighed heavily, lamenting the silence he was about to break. 

“Ok, go ahead.”

“Don’t.” Talia said it with such heavy exhaustion, her eyes shutting alongside her weariness. She groaned in frustration, her eyes suddenly snapping open again as she continued, “Don’t fucking do that!”

“Do what?”

She threw her hands up around her head. “Every time I try to talk to you about it, you just make me feel like I’m lecturing you!”

“...But you are lecturing me.”

“You’re almost twenty-five, I shouldn’t fucking have to!” She pointed at him, the warning evident in her tone and bony finger. “I’m trying to fucking help you, Tim. You can’t just sit here and smoke your way to another number one!”

Tim looked away, and this time it wasn’t because he was pretending there was something more interesting. The knots in his stomach from earlier reached up to his chest, tightening beneath his ribs, squeezing him until he couldn’t breathe. But he could. He let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding, his jaw unclenched.

His eyes were drawn to his phone screen flashing with another new notification on the table. Like always, another came through, and another notification after another notification. Text after text after text after fucking text from those who couldn’t get enough of him now that he was famous.

That’s all anyone ever wanted from him these days. A slice of the high life, a sliver of fame that came with knowing him. Ever since the show, they had gotten only more obvious; as his fame reached peak after peak, it only attracted more of the buzzards. 

A cushion connected with his head, spearing him out of his slump. He blinked up at Talia as she demanded, “Pay attention to me!”

“I don’t wanna.” He sulked, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Well, then you should’ve hired someone you hated.”

“I did.” He teased, glancing at her out of the corner of his eye, making sure she laughed. She did, tackling him and armed with more cushions. She hit him with them until he felt his bad mood lifting, and started smacking her back. All of a sudden, Talia dropped her weapons and wrapped him in a bear hug.

He settled against Talia, resting his head on her arm. The moment was still, like a single drop of clarity. He sighed heartily, realising that out of everyone and everything in his life right now, the only thing he wouldn’t dream about changing was Talia. 

“Thanks for coming round, Tar,” he mumbled. “I’m sorry I’m a shit.”

Poking his chin with a finger, she spun his head so he had no choice but to look at her. “Talk to me, dude. This can’t just be about Chelle. This has been going on since before you saw her the other day. I hate to say it, but someone’s got to. You’ve been off your game for way longer than this.”

“Oi, I’m not off my game?” He frowned at her, a little offended. A part of him knew she had a point, but she didn’t have to say it out loud.

She quirked a brow up at him. “Oh yeah? Is that why you’re pretending her samples are going to be shit?”

He scowled. Her tone was much gentler as she prodded him with her next words. “Or is it ‘cause you know they’re probably amazing, and that means you have to acknowledge the problem is you?”

Tim sat up, his limbs stiff and his movements awkward. He stared ahead at the black TV screen, his reflection a mush of something only vaguely reflective of being a person. Of being him. His expression hardened and he looked away. “I don’t have a fucking problem. She’s the problem. Not me.”

Exasperatedly, Talia asked, “Have you written anything in the last six months? A single word?”

Tim got to his feet. He stalked away from Talia, his back to her, holding his body rigidly. 

“Fuck off.” It wasn’t rude necessarily, just the sort of dismissive banter Talia had probably come to expect from him. It was meant to say ‘stop’, it was meant to mean ‘you’re pushing too much’. But it meant more than that to her.

“No, you fuck off. I knew you were having trouble. I knew it. Just tell me what’s wrong!? I can probably help!”

“Just fucking leave it, Talia!” he yelled. “Just go. Go away.”

“No! Tim, you can’t just tell people to leave whenever the conversation gets hard!”

He whipped his head up to Talia. She did not just fucking say that. He raised his voice even louder. “Seriously, just get off my fucking case!”

He pulled his shoes on, and threw on a baseball cap, pulling it low over his face. All the while Talia was at his back, a single decibel shy of losing her shit completely. 

Tim just grabbed his keys, and walked out the door. Talia was the only person he had left who would tell him the truth. 

But right now, the truth fucking hurt. 

He got out on the second floor, making his way to the fire stairs at the end of the hallway, and pushed the door open. The staff always left the alarm off for him, so he wouldn’t have to face the paparazzi who constantly waited for him at the front of his building; eager to see which model or socialite or soprano was the most recent to grace the expensive linen sheets on his bed.

It was colder than he expected, though he supposed it was March. He pulled his hood up over his cap, covering as much of his face as he could, as he made his way around the back streets. 

He missed home. He missed feeling like somewhere was home. Everyone knew him in Truro, so he couldn’t blend in there. Even here, in London, he couldn’t find peace. He couldn’t find a single place where he could just… exist. Just be. Be him.

Even now, as he walked down a side street of a city with 8 million people, he was getting sideways glances from waiters smoking cigarettes. Whispering to each other in a language he didn’t understand, but even so, he knew what they were saying. Because he heard the words every time. 

Something, something, something, “Big T.”

So he’d just pull his cap down lower, find a different side street to pace up and down, trying desperately just to get out of his own fucking way. 

The deadline was looming over him like a noose around his neck. 

He didn’t want to do it again. 

He didn’t want to be number one any more. 

He didn’t want to be bringing home models, spending every weekend at whatever party the record label deemed ‘insta-worthy’ enough for him to have to attend. Have his entire life curated for him. 

He didn’t even write his own fucking raps. He’d submit his lyrics, and they’d come back with ‘suggestions’ that shredded his words and replaced them with the marketable version. Sometimes, he’d get to pick a title. 

God, he was just so fucking tired of it.

His feet were the only thing he could focus on, as he nodded his head to the pounding rhythm of them hitting the pavement. He put his headphones on, and tried scrolling through the relentless list of new music he was supposed to be keeping up to date with. But he couldn’t even get through a single song. It was too much for him. 

It was all just so fucking fake. Like a pulse on a corpse, it was lifeless.

So he switched to the Beatles; the familiar melodies making him feel like he was back in Truro, on the bus, listening to the entire discography through a shared pair of earphones with… 

Fuck.

He leaned against the wall in the empty alleyway, lifting his face toward the little sunlight that managed to broker through the dull, grey clouds. Looking at those rays of sunshine, he swallowed hard, wishing he could bask in the glory of the sun’s efforts, but the clouds were too many, the grey had blackened the sky too much.

Talia was right. She always was. He hadn’t written anything in months.

He wasn’t sure he even knew how any more. The record label didn’t care about what he had to say anyway. They only cared about whether or not it would sell.

Tim looked back down at his phone, his eyes hovering over his email app, the four-figure notification counter making him want to throw it across the alleyway and smash it to pieces. 

But something made him tap the icon instead.

The very first name he saw sent his heart into his chest again. 

Michelle Masika

Subject: Sample.

His finger hovered over the attachment, but before he had a chance to press it, his phone rang. 

Chelle’s name and picture blared onto his screen, consuming everything, halting the never ending notifications and the incessant feeling of not doing enough in his stomach.

He wondered how she got his number. Was it someone at the record company, Talia, or had she been like him, and still had it saved all these years later?

He declined the call, and opened the contact record to look at the picture more closely. 

He must’ve forgotten to delete it when they broke up. It was them, in the early days. Wrapped in Christmas scarves and matching goofy woollen hats. He’d taken the picture right as they’d burst out laughing. 

It’d been a long time since someone had properly made him laugh. He used to. This photo showing up was almost spiteful, after everything they’d gone through. All the daggers she’d throw his way nowadays would never erase the look of love she held in the photographs.

His phone buzzed again in his hand, and her name flashed up once more. She knew he’d declined it. 

Tim rolled his eyes as he hit the green button. 

“What?” His voice was flat, empty, direct.

She scoffed. “God, you’re fucking rude.”

“What do you want, Chelle?”

“Come to the studio.”

“Why?”

“Just come, Tim,” she asked, exasperated, like she was pleading with a petulant child. She was softer as she said, “It’s worth it. Trust me.”

Earlier than he’d expected to, Tim pulled the BMW into the studio lot. He parked more slowly this time around, the amount of care in getting the spot perfect having absolutely nothing to do with the fact he was a little nervous to be in a room alone with her.

He walked down the dark corridor, doing his best not to engage with any of the staff. They busied on, making it clear that he really wasn’t all that special. Something he’d long since felt inside himself anyway. 

He pushed open the studio door to the booth he knew Chelle would be working in, and sat down at the table inside, content to mind his own business and hopeful that it would interrupt her work to fetch him.

Chelle bustled around at the panels. She held up a finger when he entered, telling him to wait. Tim rolled his eyes. After a few minutes, she pulled her headphones off and made her way over, sitting down at the table across from him.

But she said nothing. 

She just looked at him, and he looked blankly back at her. Eventually Chelle raised an eyebrow. 

“So if I know you, you haven’t listened to it out of spite.”

Tim just shrugged his shoulders. He glanced up, and found Chelle’s dark eyes studying him the same way they always had. 

But she said nothing. 

Chelle always had a way about her. A quietness. It’d always been one of the things he loved most about her when they were together. The way she’d just exist with him, while he closed his eyes and worked through whatever it was he was trying to figure out in his head. She’d slip her hand into his, and squeeze it tight, silently telling him she’d wait forever, until he was ready to talk. 

He’d never felt as safe as he had when he was with her. 

But the silence between them now just hurt. So he broke it. 

“You’re right. I didn’t.”

“What happened?” She asked, her voice soft, almost as if it was painful to see him like this. “I thought this was what you wanted?”

There was a long pause that was weighed down with gloom. He pictured the sky outside encasing that last drop of sun. “It’s not that simple.”

“Enlighten me then, Tim.” 

“Forget it,” he shrugged. “It’s fuckin’ dumb.”

Chelle folded her arms on the table in front of her. “I’m not going anywhere. Tell me. If you can’t tell Talia, you can’t tell your mates, tell me. Of everyone in the world, you know I’m the last person who’d speak to the media.”

Tim glared at her. “Whatever I thought I knew about you, I was wrong.”

He watched the faltering in her face as Chelle’s eyes dropped to the table, and a wave of guilt washed over him.

And the silence returned. 

They sat like that for a while, neither of them wanting to start, but silently begging the other not to let it go.

Tim heard her breath catch a few times, and he almost spoke, too. 

“You know why I did it,” she whispered. Her voice was quiet. Shaky, but determined. Again, he marvelled at the self-assurance that never wavered within her, the perfect mirror to the crumbled sense of his own self-worth.

Shaking his head, his lips were pursed in a thin line. “No. I still don’t,” he spat. “We fought, I woke up, and you were fucking gone. Just gone.”

Her breathing hitched, catching in her chest. 

She stared him down. “You know why.” 

Every word was punctuated with its own seething menace.

“Because you got cold feet,” he said, throwing the harsh words in a soft tone, letting them brew in derision.

“Tim, we were twenty-two.” Her brows knitted together, her mouth pulled into a grimace of some desperation. “Twenty-two is too young to get married.”

The air conditioning must have switched on, because the room suddenly felt icy. He pressed his nails into the palms of his hands, the mild pain of it a welcome distraction from the pain that he could taste at the back of his throat.

“It wasn’t too young for me,” he whispered.

It was just as raw as when she’d turned him down. The look of panic on her face. The fear. 

It still hurt. It hurt so much.

“We could’ve talked about it,” she said. “But you were so angry when I said it was too soon, and you just…”

“... Talked about it?” One half of his face screwed up as he met her gaze again. “You didn’t exactly make it easy for me to talk to you about it?”

She looked like she was about to cry. “I wasn’t the one screaming.”

“Chelle, you left.”

“You told me to.”

“You were supposed to stay.”

“You were supposed to come after me.”

The silence that fell was the loudest he’d ever heard. He was hanging on by a mere thought. 

“I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

His voice rattled like the front door had that morning; the very first thing he heard before his life slowly began falling apart. 

He could see it as if it was right in front of him. The door of their old place, with its cracked window pane and slightly-loose handle. But try as he might, he’d never be able to reach it; he’d never turn the handle and follow her out into the freezing morning. 

Because he never did. Never even thought to do it until now.

And it all felt so obvious. 

“I was so scared, Tim. You were just starting out, and the parties were starting to get more and more frequent, and I just… I was so scared. That you were just going to get sick of being tied down, and would want to go off and be–”

“--Be what? Be a fuckin’ celebrity?” 

The sudden volume of his voice surprised him almost as much as it surprised her. 

“I dunno, you went on fucking Love Island. People don’t generally go on that to keep a low profile, Big T.”

He clenched his fist, and gritted his teeth. 

“I didn’t go on the show to become a fucking celebrity. I wanted to be able to make music full time. The celebrity part of it is the part I fucking hate. The parties I go to, the people I hang out with, the music, the lyrics, none of it’s me. It’s all fake.”

“And I suppose the millions of dollars and endless stream of women is fake, too?” She spat.

The silence resumed, much more tense than before.

“Chelle, after you left, I lost every bit of motivation I had. I just did whatever they told me to do. I haven’t written anything worth releasing in years, Chelle. The stuff I release is completely made for me. This… the shit I’ve been doing? It’s not music. It’s a fuckin’ lie.”

He looked up at her, and saw something in her dark eyes that he hadn’t seen from anyone in a long, long time. 

Care.

And not just for sales. Not for what they could get from him. 

For him.

“I know.”

She took a deep breath, glancing down at her own hands. 

“I know you used to rap about cars and bitches for fun in the shower. But I also know that that wasn’t what you wrote when it actually came down to the wire. I remember being on the receiving end of your frantic phone calls before your phone died. The ones after your walks?”

Tim smiled a little. “Yeah, ‘cause I knew I wouldn’t be able to write it down fast enough before I forgot it.”

Chelle chuckled slightly. “And you made me put it on speaker, and we used the voice to text on my laptop to try and dictate it all?”

He couldn’t help but smile a little wider at that. “And it always ended up recording the words wrong, and we’d be up until 2am pissing ourselves laughing and trying to remember what it was supposed to say?”

Chelle’s eyes were big, sparkling with the passion that used to light up his entire universe. “Tim… that shit you used to write… it was fucking poetry. It was beautiful.”

Tim blew a raspberry, scoffing slightly. “Whatever.”

“Tim,” Chelle reached across the table for his hand, but he didn’t move to meet hers. She placed her hand on his forearm instead, squeezing it gently. “It’s why I’m here.”

He furrowed his brow at her. “What do you mean?”

“You’re everywhere, now. Every time I turn on the radio they’re playing your songs. Every time I turn on the TV it’s an interview with Big T, talking about your creative process and your inspirations. Every billboard, every conversation, every kid with their headphones on too loud… It’s your music. But not one fucking bar of it is you.”

His shoulders tensed defensively, 

“So, what, you’re just here to help me? The giant paycheck doesn’t appeal to you whatsoever?”

She raised her eyebrows. “They didn’t tell you?”

He furrowed his in return. “Tell me what?”

Chelle laughed. “I get paid a percentage. Nothing upfront. Me getting paid depends on how well your album does.”

Tim furrowed his brow in confusion. He couldn’t wrap his head around why the fuck she would do that. She hated him. She’d screamed it at him with her gaze the second he’d walked into the conference room. “So… wait. You want me to do all my own raps? And try and make it a number one?”

Chelle let her head drop to the table with a dramatic groan. “Tim, you are seriously not getting this. I don’t care if it’s a number one. I just want to watch an interview where you actually believe a single word of what you’re saying.”

And like that, the silence returned. The air conditioning sending a chill through his skin. It must’ve done for her, too, because she shivered. He sighed, and pulled his jacket off, handing it to her like he’d done a million times before. Chelle looked a little surprised, but she took it, slipping her arms into the sleeves and pulling it around her.

He tried to stare at literally anything else in the room except the sight of her in his jacket, knowing what it would do to his heart if he let himself look.

He blew another raspberry. “Alright. Fine. I’ll listen to your fuckin’ track.”

Chelle nervously stood, walking over to the sound board. She passed him a pair of headphones, and gently slipped her own on, but said absolutely nothing. The imaginary noose around his neck tightened as he slipped the headphones on. What if he couldn’t think of anything? What if even her music wasn’t enough? 

What if he really was completely fucking broken? 

As if sensing his anxiety, Chelle reached for his hand. 

And this time, he gave it to her. 

As his fingers brushed against hers, he was worried she’d be able to feel his heart racing through his palms. But the familiar weight of her hand in his flooded him with a reassuring wash of calm that lifted the world from his shoulders. 

How did she still have this effect on him?

A deep, low drum beat started. A slow, low-fi synth curled through his body, and every inch of his skin blazed with goosebumps. His lips parted slightly, as the deep melody started. There was something so familiar about it. He started humming along to the melody, trying to place it, and the words started forming in his head. 

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be,

There's a shadow hanging over me,

Oh, yesterday came suddenly.

Why she had to go, I don’t know, she wouldn’t say.

I said something wrong now I long for Yesterday.

Tim turned to Chelle to comment on it, but stopped. 

She was biting the inside of her lip, nervously shuddering despite his thick jacket wrapped around her. And God, did she look beautiful in it.

Her dark eyes were looking up into his, a little glassy, almost as if the song meant as much to her as it did to him. The beautiful synth beat was filling him with something he hadn’t felt in years. 

Words.

But in that particular moment, there wasn’t a single one of them he wanted to use.

With the smallest movement, he turned his body to hers, and dropped her hand, curling it inside the warm fabric of his jacket, and around her waist. Chelle’s eyes fluttered closed as she tilted her head back.  

And he kissed her.

He kissed her for what felt like decades. Lifetimes. Whatever was longest. And it was freeing, like everything was falling back into place. Every muscle in his body relaxed as he melted into her, her body falling into his hands as he pulled her closer. The world was righting itself, jolted back onto its course. The feel of her waist under his hands. The warm flick of her tongue as she stroked her fingers through his hair. The way her lips felt on his, music pulsing through their ears, just like they did on the bus, back when everything was easy. Back when everything made sense. 

It had never occurred to him before that it wasn’t Truro that made him feel like this.

It was her.

As they broke apart, he pushed her headphones down to hang around her shoulders. She pulled his off as well, and he pressed another kiss to her lips. He rested his forehead on hers briefly, completely incapable of stopping the smile that was wrestling the corners of his cheeks. He took a step back, letting the smile win, as she threw her arms around his neck. 

“Baby, I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I never should’ve left. I–”

“--Shh,” he laughed, as he wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his lips into her braids. 

He pulled back from her, kissing her once again, then turned and walked toward the recording booth. 

She shot him a confused, playful look, and he winked at her. 

“I reckon I’ve got something for this.”

Chelle broke out in a wide smile, dropping her eyes, as he stepped in to the booth. 

He had something alright. He had everything. The amount of words he had in that moment were almost overwhelming him. 

But he was pretty sure he wasn’t going to forget these ones.

Just a little tease for my fic coming this week! Probably Wednesday. It's smutty. It's angsty. It's about accepting who you are and deciding what you deserve. It's Felix x Kassam. If you're in need of an explanation, ask @longbobmckenzie, this is 100% her fault 😂 I'm not responsible.

In my early life (before the internet became a real thing), I collected all things fairy. Ceramic figurines, books, posters. All of it. And there were none that looked like me. All fairies were white. There was no media with black fairies or black princesses or black mermaids or black heroines at all (at least none that I ever saw), and there was no widespread internet like there is now, to even seek those things out. When I started reading romance novels, there were no brown heroines on the covers or between the pages. And for many years of my life, I hated myself for not being "normal." I dreamed of having long, straight black hair that moved in the breeze and fair skin and light eyes. It took a long time to undo that.

For people who could always see themselves represented, I'm sure it feels like no big deal. For people like me, even as an adult, it means everything.

TLDR: This is the cutest fucking post and it made me smile.

✨🧚‍♀️ Women as fairies 🧚‍♀️✨

No, but seriously. I'm ready for Spooky season so I can wear my damned combat boots again.

It's too hot for goths

💌 Send this to the twelve nicest people you know or who seem to have a good heart and if you get five back you must be pretty awesome. 💌

I'm sending this right back to you then, Iris! You are without a doubt one of the nicest, sweetest, most good-hearted people I've had the pleasure of meeting. Marisol couldn't ask for a better cheerleader 💖

Yup, I'm done. Who got paid to say, "You know what would be fun? If everyone gaslit you about your ex for an entire season!" Like the whole thing is just people judging you for having the nerve to have an ex. And he brings all this drama and intrudes upon your life and won't leave you alone no matter how many times you explicitly tell him you aren't interested and everyone makes it seem like you're leading him on. They're all like, WHOA YOU'VE GOT BAGGAGE TO WORK OUT. Nope. HE has baggage. I'm chill. I'm here for fun. Ugh. This season is nothing but loneliness and pain. If you're not a Suresh fan, hang it up. There's nothing here for you. This is so disappointing. It's like they looked at every complaint we've ever made about the game and just put them all into one horrible, horrible season.

Season 5 - Summary (Episodes 17-25)

Hi Folks,

Part Two! I did not rip these myself, but this is my summary and my HCs, so if you're gonna copy/paste these and share them, please at least keep my name in the screenshot (sigh)

Spoilers under the cut, obviously

🤍Episode 17

A chat with Dana where she tells you she's nervous

You can declare BFFs with Dana.

Alfie tells Meera she'll be fine.

Arlo gets in a Kat fight lol. Kat is being a mega bitch to everyone, going on about how secure she is.

Eddie & Finn ask for your help and you can graft on them. Doesn't change shit though

Recoupling:

Eddie picks Dana

Finn picks Kat

Suresh picks Arlo

Cliff...

🤍Episode 18

...hanger.

Alfie picks MC (obviously)

Bye Meera, you're literally the best looking girl on this island.

Eddie tells you he wants to cool shit down with you.

Eddie literally, I shit you not, says "I don't want to waste my time with you". Backtracks and digs himself into a hole of telling you he wants to focus on Dana.

Meera is stupidly nice about leaving, but holy shit, I feel so bad for anyone who isn't pursuing Alfie rn. She is devestated. And if you're not pursuing him you have to stand there and be all "Yeah, he's just a friend."

Arlo is pissed about it, and is like "I know who I would've picked if I were Alfie." Rude...

Holy shit this girl was here for an entire one day and we are getting the world's longest farewell just goooooooo

Oh my god though, you have a choice of saying "Goodbye", "Something Sexy", or "Good Riddance". If you pick "Good Riddance" everyone gets soooo mad omg omg omg 💀💀

Dana pulls you for a chat, and she cracks on to you, but it's actually stupidly cute and she talks about her cat Georgie.

Alfie overhears and you have to choose between them. Whichever one you don't pick leaves and you have a convo with the other. Then you get to kiss the one you picked.

Bla bla bla, Arlo rubs it in your face that she's with Suresh and you can tell her to fuck off.

Alfie/Dana invites you to join them on the daybeds, and you get to make out a little, some under the clothes stuff, nothing that exciting.

Then you go SKINNY DIPPING

I literally cannot tell if this is supposed to be a sex scene? It just talks about 'bodies bobbing up and down in the water?'

Regardless, Eddie the creeper is watching again.

🤍Episode 19

Can get a little steamy with Alfie but he turns it off and wants to take it slow.

I beg thee, a crumb? A crumb of cock? Please? Somebody?

Going back into the bedroom, and as expected, Eddie has told everyone about your shenanigans.

Suresh is having an absolute fucking tantrum about it, I am losing my shit, I love it so much.

Holy shit you can be such an incredible bitch here. Arlo accuses you of hooking up with Alfie to make Suresh jealous, and you can be like "Yeah, I am". Alfie gets soooo cut.

Dana is properly devastated about you turning her down and is sulking a bit.

Arlo and Kat being annoying and getting in a lil bitch fight again.

Breakfast date in the garden yay!

Alfie is either very cute or very awkward depending on whether or not you picked him.

Finn is literally flirting with Arlo in front of both Kat and Suresh and I am living for it. I want him, he's amazing, he's drama in a bottle.

Kiss Alfie/Dana again in front of everyone yay.

Arlo pulls you aside and tells you Suresh will. not. shut. up about you. She thinks he's angry about you and Alfie/Dana. She's annoyed about it and wants reassurance that you're not going after him.

🤍Episode 20

Beach rescue challenge!

LITEXT: Islanders, you will take it in turns to complete the obstacle course before rescuing your partner from the paddling pool. The girls will vote on which boy did it best, and the boys on which girl did it best. #WetAndWild #SexyRescue

You get a kiss at the end yay.

Eddie gets disqualified for skipping a section of the course boo.

Finn and Kat are bickering, and halfway through the course he reveals he had a sexy dream about MC involving sex in a bouncy castle. Who is this drama magnet? Oh my god, I want him.

Kat's like booo, keep your dreams to yourself. Like I'm sorry, girl, have some self respect. He has disrespected you by telling everyone. Trash man (leave him for me)

Suresh does the most unrealistic run of the course ever.

Dana launches a water balloon at him, which he catches then sexily bursts on his ripped abs.

Suresh audaciously runs down the slide and dives through the sand tunnel. He leaps the grassy obstacle, scissor kicking a flying water balloon as he does. You notice his soaked abs glisten in the sunlight.

The winner of the boys is Suresh, winner of the girls is MC. You go on a double date with your partners.

You go for a bit of a cheeky snog with Alfie/Dana.

Suresh catches you and there's a lot of sexual tension, it's kinda hot. Sneaky sneaky. He tells you he's wearing the black shirt you got him for Valentine's day on your date, and tells you to wear that black dress.

You can literally pour a smoothie over him ahahhahhahahahahaha

He's all "You know I wish I was going on the date with you, right?"

Author's note, all this sneaking around behind Arlo's back is 🔥, I am such a hypocrite.

🤍Episode 21

Suresh is flirting with you while on his date with Arlo. He specifically says certain things really loudly and then glances at you instead of her.

Ok, stop, this is actually fucking with my head.

On the date, Alfie keeps trying to make a toast, but he keeps getting distracted by your eyes. I- what- excuse me!!! Do not!!!? Give me such feelings?!? For this pixel man?!? SWOON!

Suresh is boasting about helping deliver 6 puppies, and Alfie's all "Did Suresh just say he wanted to give birth to a dog?"

I am beside myself. Alfie/Dana script is just *chefs kiss* 💀💀💀

He is completely down to be absolutely fucking with Suresh & Arlo and making it look like he's telling you really funny jokes, I am in love with him? This FTL arc is woof.

Alfie wants to like, commit to you for the rest of the summer? What does that even mean. *Gasp* does it mean I get laid?

Arlo pulls you aside and is all smug about Suresh. Gem Option where she spills some tea about what he said to her. He told Arlo that he's ready to move on from you.

You can then rub it in her face that he wore that shirt for you lol lol lol lol. You can tell her he was flirting with you, too. But she doesn't believe you.

You then tell Dana that Suresh was flirting with you on the date hehehe.

Finn wants to apologise to Kat for flirting with Arlo at breakfast so he gets you and Dana to distract her. Finn's running around with candles behind her. To stop her from turning around Dana blabs about Suresh's flirting.

Kat turns around and Finn spelled out SOZ with candles omfg who is the comedian on the writing team, I'm fucking dying of laughter here, this is the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life bar none.

FINALLY YA GIRL GETS LAID WOOOOOOOOOO PARTY TIMEEE 🎉🎉🎉🎉❤️❤️❤️🍾🍾🍾💗💗💗🍆🍆🍆

Oh god. Suresh is looking at you.

Somebody on the writing team has a fucking exhibitionist kink.

You can glare at him, but Arlo catches you looking either way, and literally gets out of bed and comes over ready to confront you.

🤍Episode 22

Suresh is literally lying in bed giggling like a naughty schoolboy and you're the one getting dragged, what in the fuck?

Alfie/Dana gets mad about it though, and is like, I don't wanna talk about it.

I am so over this bullshitttttttt just let me get dicked down *sob*

🥺🥺🥺 Alfie wakes up and is like 'you know what, IDC. I'm not letting Suresh's games get in the way. He's jealous, let him stare if he wants... unless it bothers you and then I'll make him stop.' (This is almost exactly what Bruno said to Jas about Youcef in TTIS, just quietly, not accusing anyone of anything...)

Arlo is getting stupidly possessive over Suresh, why in the fuck they gotta make the black girl the villain AGAIN I swear to god.

OKAY WAIT THOUGH

This flirting is actually.... getting... kind of good?

Did they have a different writer for these? What the hell?

There's an extremely sexy, flirty conversation with Suresh, in the kitchen, where he's eating an Orange (Clearly meant to be a mandarin, not an orange.)

There's a very cute conversation with Alfie/Dana, where you just roll your eyes and say Suresh is being an alpha.

ALFIE_HAPPY: Don't look too alpha from here. Looking up towards the gym you spot Arlo showing off her boxing moves to Suresh. He winces in fear with every jab at his hands. Alfie laughs to himself.

Alfie/Dana confesses they're falling for you. For real.

🤍Episode 23

BFF pulls you aside and wants to know you feel about Alfie/Dana LI. They ask how you feel about Suresh's flirting, and tell you to go pull your LI and Suresh aside and figure out if it's the real deal, or just fanny flutters.

You go to the LI first, . If you stay on the daybeds it kinda stays light-hearted, but if you go to the living room it gets super melty and cute. Either way though, they tell you they're all in for you. Want to take you home and meet the family, etc. (Baby, we are half way through. We haven't even been to Casa yet, baby is gonna get their heart broken omg.)

Suresh then pulls you aside. Here we go.

Suresh fidgets, for the first time showing a flash of vulnerability. SURESH: OK. I’m just gonna come right out and say it. PLAYER: You do that. SURESH: I only coupled up with Arlo because I thought that you wanted a chance to move on.

Dear God, my sincerest apologies to anyone not romancing Suresh.

If you paid to go to the bedroom you get a slightly saucier description of the reminiscing. You reminisce about a particularly sexy encounter.

Suresh leans in to kiss you and you get to snog, hug, or swerve him.

Kat will see you, and reacts accordingly. *Shock horror, gasp, is shook*.

🤍Episode 24

Kat says she's not going to say anything

BFF pulls you aside again, spill the tea.

You get a text woohoo - Oh god, it's Truth or Dare.

This is going to be difficult to put into a Tumblr post. Bear with me.

1st - Eddie - Picks DARE

SEXY - Do a sexy dance for everyone (Does a generally unsexy dance)

SEXY - Sexily kiss one islander. (Kisses Dana)

FUNNY - Do an animal impression (Does a really bad wolf impression)

FUNNY - Do an islander impression (Does a terrible Finn impression which is actually hysterical)

2nd - Arlo - Picks TRUTH

No choice. Kat asks "When was the last time you lied?"

Arlo responds: "Just then, when I said you were smart enough to think of a good question."

3rd - Kat - Picks DARE

No choice. Dana dares Kat to suck your big toe. You can decline and she does it to Finn instead.

4th - Alfie - Picks DARE

No choice. Dana dares Alfie to act out one of his past sexual experiences. It is heavily implied that he fucked a cow. But it's revealed he just snuck into the bushes and a cow stuck its head in and scared them.

5th - Dana - Picks DARE

No choice. Suresh asks her if she's ever been in love, and she says no. If you're romancing her she says she's getting there.

6th - Suresh - Picks DARE

Have you ever been in love? He says yes. 'I told you many many times."

Would you ever cheat again? He says no. "I wouldn't do anything to risk a relationship ever again."

Would you ever get married? He says he's into the idea.

7th - MC

Pick Truth: They ask "Do you believe in love at first sight?"

Options are:

"Yes, Absolutely"

"No, Love takes time"

"I'm not sure"

Pick Dare: They say. "We dare you to show us your 'O' face, with sound effects.

You do it, and everyone is like, slack jawed, hard, wet, etc. MC is a hot fuckin' bitch. Sex noises ftw.

*Gem Option* - Another dare. Kat dares you to do a sexy belly dance balancing an object on your head. You do it successfully and everyone gets pretty excited about it but nothing actually happens other than Eddie saying it turned him on.

8th - Finn - Picks DARE

No choice. You tell him to kiss the girl he finds the most attractive. Arlo tells him to strip for her.

Finn walks up to Arlo and snogs her, throwing in a bit of a striptease.

Kat gets genuinely fucking hurt by it (as she should, wtf dude.) But everyone starts laughing telling her to chill out.

KAT: Finn making a fool out of me is a good laugh is it? KAT: Somebody being made a fool of is a joke to you guys? DANA: It’s not that Kat, it’s just that Finn can’t help but be funny. KAT: Right, well, it’s a good job I’m not the only one being made a fool of then. KAT: Ain’t that right, MC? Everyone turns to look at you. You feel your body tense awkwardly. KAT: How about you tell Alfie what a fool he is? KAT: And how you’ve been cracking on with Suresh behind his back. There is absolute silence around the firepit.

Surprise pikachu face.

Arlo storms off. Alfie/Dana storms off. Kat storms off.

OMG Finn is actually devestated he hurt Kat's feelings awwwwwww!!!!!!

He's all "I can be so stupid sometimes."

And then....

AND THEN......

After looking all over the villa, you decide to head up to the terrace in hopes of finding Alfie and explaining everything. It’s time to get some stuff off your chest. Time to set everything right. You arrive on the terrace and are stunned into silence.

You find Alfie and Kat kissing each other.

PLAYER: Alfie?! Kat?!

Note: If you're on a Dana route, she's kissing Eddie.

🤍Episode 25 - DRAMA CENTRAL

Excuse me while I go fuck myself, apparently.

You run into Finn, and he's like hahaha yeah nah, that would never happen. But Alfie's like omg I'm so sorry. After everything you just fucking spurted, about falling for us, why you little...

Finn still thinks it's a prank.

It is, just to be clear, not a fucking prank.

They really fucking just Cherrygated us.

Finn is now extremely pissed.

Kat & Alfie are both angry as fuck that MC and Finn are pissed off about it.

There's an extremely loud argument about who kissed who, with both of them claiming the other initiated it.

Somehow, regardless of what you did or didn't do with Suresh, you end up the bad guy. Alfie's all "What matters is you cracking on with that cheating ex of yours" and "Save me the details" and "I can't be around you right now" Um ex-fucking-cuse me?

Alfie storms off (Bye Felicia)

Kat blames you for everything, saying it was your idea to dare Finn to kiss someone. You can take the blame (um no.) or Blame someone else, but regardless, nothing happens.

Note: If you're on a Dana route, she kisses Eddie and admits that she initiated it.

You're hiding from everything on the roof terrace and Suresh comes to check on you, admitting that it would've hurt more because of what happened in the past between the two of you.

He reveals he came to LI to give you closure, and because he needed it as well. He was going to come on, apologise, answer questions, and then leave.

She asks what happened, and Suresh is all "I looked into your eyes, and I knew straight away I couldn't give up on you. I had to stay and take a shot at winning you back."

Suresh says he wants you back, and says you have to give him an answer tonight.

Finn pulls you aside, and says he's seeing everything in a different light. He wants you. But before you can give him an answer, the girls pull you aside for drama management

The girls force you to pick between Alfie and Suresh. But when you go to find whichever one you picked....

Girls, The boys have headed off to Casa Amor and some sexy singletons are now heading your way! #HeadsWillTurn #CasaRemorse