You Say Shitpost, I Say INCREDIBLY ACCURATE Post.

You say shitpost, I say INCREDIBLY ACCURATE post.

What do you think it was like for season 2 li’s to lose their virginity?

Thanks for the ask anon!

Noah: his partner said ‘deeper’, so he rolled over and started reading them poetry.

Ibrahim: didn’t make a single sound bc he was too shy 🥺

Bobby: lasted 2.5 pumps

Jakub: *that scene of Christian Bale hyping himself up in the mirror in American Pyscho*

Rocco: came prepared with homemade, vegan friendly lube. (But kinda sweet of him bc he cares about the quality of ingredients entering his partner’s body??)

Lucas: he *finished* just as his partner’s parents barged in. It was awkward.

the thing about carrying tension in your jaw is that once you've started it's really fucking hard to stop

Holy fuck, I chose Lulu and then dug out Suresh like three or four times as he was booted from the show. It was so fucking satisfying, I don't even care to finish the season. If I can't have actual romance, I'll take spite, thanks.

IT'S HAPPENING!!!!!!!

doggy fashion - henrik/arjun

Summary:

After a rough breakup, Arjun is ready to date again, and he’s got his eyes fixed on the handsome blonde he often sees running with his dog in the park. He just needs to work up the courage to talk to him.

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 8,020

Read on AO3

Tag list: @eskiix, @thoracic-orchid, @mrsbsmooth (let me know if you'd like to be tagged for future updates!)

God I miss the romance. The sweet tender moments that felt sincere. The sexy sex that was actually sexy. Despite the infuriating glitches and crashes and frustrations that came with S2 (let us never forget the post-Casa amnesia), it was still a season that gave us complex and interesting friendships as well as a good dose of self-esteem and fun, as we were chased by loads of hot people who were sincere in wanting us. And even when they were messy and made wrong choices, it still felt like they liked you.

Bobby McKenzie: 10/10 would die for him. S5 LI's: 1/10* would pay to see them dead.

*the 1 was for Lulu. Everyone else was a big ol' ZERO.

Also, just an aside, but like how great was it that there were canon kinks in S2? We know that Lucas likes it when you take control in bed. We know that Bobby would die happily of suffocation as long as it happened with MC sitting on his face. We know Noah liked his thighs tickled and Rahim likes to be in control. In S5 I know that... um... uh... well there's... Alfie likes... kissing? Suresh likes... vaguely adventurous sex maybe? Dana likes... being there? And Finn likes it in the shower (whoa slow down with the kinks there, Firecrotch Jesus).

I love him so much. So much.

This is one of my alltime favorite pieces of fan art for the game. Bobby's glee, Carl's pain, Lucas's joyful avarice and Henrik just gleefully tossing money on Lucas... it's perfect. Also I really enjoy Noah being incarcerated 🤣🤣🤣

Also not for nothing, but Gary looks high AF to me, and I'd buy that as canon.

"Gentlemen, our resident geek falls as the rich keep getting richer!"

"That's right Bobs, and it seems Noah's getting used to the box of shame"

"You said you were good at this Carl! You swore on the valor of Violet Man!"

I keep wishing we could have seen more interactions between the lads so I made this self-indulgent piece. Just imagine all the smack talk going about 🤣