There Is Also An Abbreviated Version Of Operation Grand Canyon, Says Nines.That Variant Only Involves

“There is also an abbreviated version of Operation Grand Canyon,” says Nines. “That variant only involves one step: trip over something while approaching Gavin from the front and fall towards him with my hands held out. I suppose this is as efficacious a plan as its more detailed counterpart, but the advantage of the fuller form of Operation Grand Canyon is that it more seamlessly transitions to my second project, Operation Mutual Orgasm. Now, you may be asking yourself, What is Operation Mutual Orgasm? Suffice it to say…”

Connor is already a hundred yards away

The Goblin King wants to get an early taste of Roasted Richie and inspecting Richard’s teeth to see if they were good enough to add to his crown later. 

Needless to say, Gavin is outraged. That neck is only for HIM to lick >:(

Richard finds himself in an endless dune. He wanders for a moment before a large figure appears before him enthroned in roses. 

Amanda chastens him for touching the cursed ring, and that all his bad luck stemmed from his contact with the ring. She berates him for using her divine power for such mundane things as Goblins, especially after abandoning the sword she gave him. 

“Your task was simple: bring me the ring, and you’ll get your wings. And all you did was lose it to a dragon and kiss a filthy rogue.” 

Richard is unable to stay standing before her, and he crouches in the sand under the pressure of her wrath. 

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be. I would just bring you back, but your brother’s cut off his connection from me, if you fetch him without any further trouble I’ll still keep my promise.”

Richard looks up, astonished at the grace he’s been granted, but Amanda is gone. 

A series of low rolls and crit successes later (that Inktober prompts just won’t let me account for) Richard and Gavin drag themselves to a small alcove above the high water line, hiding from the dangers outside. Both manage to survive, exhausted, damaged, and waterlogged. Richard tries to keep one eye open, but even he must succumb to sleep eventually

The Lion Tamer Update is here!! 

Chapter 33: “There’s No Place Like Home”

After a crazy display of his actual strength, Richard passes out and Gavin is forced to nearly drag him through the disgusting grit and guts of what is left of the Goblins around them.