Greek Gods As Things Ive Overheard In My School

Greek Gods as Things I’ve Overheard in My School

I got a request for Greek Gods as things I’ve overheard, and since school is- quite possibly the best place for these things, I figured why not!

Zeus: “Bold of you to assume that I can’t be more of an asshole.” Poseidon: “People never drink water in class. Drink water throughout class. Drink water instead of class. Don’t go to class.” Hades: “My math grade is almost lower than my will to live.” Hestia: “Sometimes I just want to sit in that fire pit and roast marshmallows as I let the ashes reclaim me.” Demeter: “They said we need more plants around. Replace me with a plant.” Hera: “I need feminism because clearly my future husband is going to be a dumbass and I want to prove I’m better.” Athena: “I like the smell of old books.” *proceeds to stuff face into textbook* Hermes: “I can steal your heart, yes- but can I steal myself a personality?” Apollo: “Music class these days is just idiots trying to find happiness.” Artemis: “I just want to be gay with an instinct to kill.” Hephaestus: “I want to build myself a girlfriend.” Aphrodite: “Maybe one day people will appreciate my inner beauty and not my numerous pimples.” Dionysus: “Time to get DRUNK!” *chugs water bottle* Persephone: “I love flower crowns. They make me want to-” *cracks knuckles* “Kick ass.”

Character in a series: *starts getting a suspicious amount of character development, more screen time, and becomes a major focus in one story*

Me: Oh good, I was looking forward to getting to know more about this character! I can’t wait to see where they take thi-

The same character in a series: *dies*

Me:

Can’t wait for 2023 because it’s 50/50 whether Alonso crushes Lance Stroll like a bug and makes him quit F1 to bring out a mediocre skincare line, OR Stroll is perfectly impervious through sheer blissful ignorance and Alonso melts like a waxwork under the reflected beam of his own 4D psychic manipulation

10 years of greatness 🎉

Made the worst brownies ever created just now

“this character is dead” to you maybe. I don't know where y'all live but I live in denial