Rwby - Tumblr Posts

Ruby: Ok, I get me and Jaune may be more close than regular friends normally are-

Blake: Understatement of the decade.

Ruby: But! I don't see why everyone thinks we're together! We are simply a boy and a girl who platonically enjoy being around the other.

Blake: Ruby, I literally caught you getting railed by, and riding, Jaune around the academy 5 times in less than 2 days.

Jaune: *Leaving Yangs House* Alright, see you later, Alligator.

Yang: *Chuckles* After a while, Crocadile.

Jaune: *Also chuckles* Okie-dokie Artachokie.

Yang: *Keeps chuckling* Alright, time to go, Buffalo.

Jaune: *Chuckles harder* I'm out the door, Dinosaur.

Yang: Hang loose, Mongoose.

Jaune: ...

Yang: You know what I mean, Jelly-bean?

Jaune: ...

Yang: *Smirks and turns to walk away*

Jaune: Take care... Teddy-bear.

Yang: *Glares* Bye bye, Butterfly.

Jaune: Too-da-loo, Kangaroo.

Yang: Hit the road, Jaune.

Jaune: Oh, that one doesn't rhyme!

Yang: No, Jaune. I'm telling you to get out of my house.

Jaune: Oh, okay.

Yang: *Chatting with Weiss*

Ruby: *Runs into room* Yang! Yang! You've got to see this funny faunus trait Jaune has!

Yang: *Shoo's her away* Now now Ruby, the adults are having a conversation.

Ruby: Suit yourself. *Shrugs and runs off*

Yang: So like I was saying...

Ruby: *From other room* Red rocket! Red rocket Jaune!

Yang: *Sudden realization before immediately leaving* Ruby no!

Weiss: ...

Weiss: Am I not allowed to have a relatively normal day?

Arc Sister's: Now, which of us will be the object of your attraction?

Whitley: Hmm... Wow, what great options. This is going to be so hard. 🙄

Jaune: *Walks in* Oh sisters, I'm back from war.

Whitley: Hello sailor!~ 😍

Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*

Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*

Jaune: 😳

*Thump!*

Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?

Jaune: You could say that, yes.

The Bigger Win

Yang: Ha! I win~!

Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!

Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!

Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?

Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!

Ruby: Ahh nuts…

Ruby: *Hand smacks nothing but air*

Ruby: Wha? B-But how? *Feels an intense presence behind her*

Jaune: Oh, sweet, naïve Ruby...

Jaune: *Raises an aura enhanced hand* Dat ass compels me with power beyond your comprehension.

Ruby: *Walking down a path* Ooh, look at those pretty flowers. *bends over to pick them*

Jaune: ...

Ruby: *Wearing a skirt that's a bit too small, giving Jaune a great view of the Rubooty.*

Jaune: *thinking* Must not slap Ruby's butt.

Ruby: *sways a bit from side to side, giving her butt a nice little jiggle*

Jaune: Please forgive me Ruby. *Raises hand* Becaus I know Yang won't.

SMACK!!!

Hm... What about a double lancaster? Jaune x (female)Ruby and (male)Ruby

(wanted to try an outlandish one and came up with this)

Are these twins Rubes? Is one Ruby from a parallel world?

Might as well do the inverse, right?

A whole mess of'em

Yang: Did you have sex in our dorm?

Blake: ...

Weiss: Ugh, seriously? Where?

Blake: ...

Weiss: Where?

Blake: ...

Weiss: ... W-Where Blake?

Blake: ... Seems like you already know where.

Weiss: *Covers her mouth in disbelief*

Blake: So... Who tops?

Ruby/Weiss: Me.

Blake: ?

R/W: ... Weiss/Ruby

Blake: ??

R/W: ... Jaune

Blake: ???

Jaune + Ruby: *Resting in the shade*

Nora: *Racing towards them* JAUNE! RUBY!

Jaune: Huh?

Ruby: So loud. It's way too hot for your craziness, Nora.

Nora: Ren's getting hit on!

JNR: *Running through the streets at top speed*

Jaune: Formation B!

NR: Roger!

Ren: *Talking to a girl*

NR: Renny!

Ruby: *Latches onto him* Who is that woman?! Have you forgotten the night you toasted to my eyes?! That night!?

Nora: *Also latches onto him* Was it all a lie when you said your time with me was the most enjoyable of all?!

Ren: ... What?

Jaune: Could you not touch him so casually, please... YOU HOMEWRECKERS?!

Ren: ?

Jaune: Renny has guitar practice with me now. Let's go home, Renny. Today, I'll have you master "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star~." *Wink*

Ren: *Turns to the girl* Please, don't mind them. Keep going straight ahead and you'll reach the station.

Random Girl: Thank you so much. *Bows before leaving*

JNR: Huh?

Ren: Alright, seriously, what was that? Could you guys not, please? You're embarrassing me.

Ruby: Uncle Qrow, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?

Qrow: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Ruby. Avenge me!

Oscar: So there's no way to prevent us from merging?

Ozpin: I'm afraid so. After all my time between hosts, I've just about given up finding a way to separate my soul from another before the merge.

Oscar: *Sadly looks down* Oh...

Ozpin: Brighten up Oscar. Let's focus on the new friends you'll be traveling with.

Oscar: I guess... Who's that?

Ozpin: That's Mr. Jaune Arc. A young man of similar farmland origins as yourself I believe.

Oscar: *Blushes* Wow... That guy has some nice, strong arms.

Ozpin: ... On second thought.

Wolf Ruby: *Whispering* Do you hear that, Jaune?

Jaune: No, is it a grimm?

Ruby: No, it's just the sound of my undying love for you. *licks Jaune's face*

Jaune: ???

Jaune: Hey Neo, mind if I get some of your popcorn?

Neo: *Smiles at him and holds up her scroll* Go right ahead. Get yourself a good handful~

Jaune: *Reaches into popcorn, but feels something odd* Oh ha ha. Real funny Neo. This a hotdog or som- *Grabs hold of it*

Neo:

Jaune: ...

Ozpin: *Hands newborn to Summer* Ms. Rose, is there someone you want to cut the cord?

Summer: H-Her daddy.

Qrow: But Tai's not back yet.

Summer: Qrow, Tai had a vasectomy after Yang. Come here.

Qrow: What are you saying woman?

Summer: This baby's yours.

Qrow: I still don't understand.

Summer: Qrow, we had sex and you knocked me up.

Qrow: Slow down, slow down!

Summer: This baby is your hatchling.

Qrow: Aww!

Qrow: ... Wait a minute. What do you mean?

Summer: You're a daddy!

Qrow: From when?

Summer: Sometimes, the one you slept with 9 months ago was right in front of you all along.

Qrow: Aw Short-Stack. Gimme that cord. *Pulls out scythe*

Nora: *In detention for Nora-related shenanigans* ...

Jaune: *Also in detention for Nora-related shenanigans* ...

Nora: Last night, I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup. And you were mustard.

Jaune: ?...

Nora: Which is weird because usually you're mayonnaise in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?

Jaune: 🤨

Ruby: What? The two us alone for a long stretch of time, something's definitely gonna happen.

Jaune: Ruby, I assure you, I would never do something like that to you.

Ruby: Who said you'd be the one to initiate it?

Jaune: ...

Nora: ... You go girl.

Nora: If you went on an adventure with only Jaune, what would happen?

Ruby: I'd come back pregnant.

Jaune: You'd what!?

Ruby: Was it good for you?~

Jaune: I can't feel below my waist.

Loud continuous squeaks could be heard from upstairs, the ceiling lamp shaking violently from the impact.

Tai: ...

Summer: ...

Raven: ...

Yang: ... So we're just pretending this isn't happening? I'm not saying it's a bad idea, just asking.

Tai: Raven, why would you let Ruby bring that boy into our house?!

Raven: I don't know, what do you want from me? She thought that Arc kid was cool, for some reason, and asked if he'd like to come over with us.

Ruby: *Races down in just her tank top and shorts, before grabbing and quickly downing an entire quartan of milk.*

Ruby: Ahh~ Alright, back to uh... Back upstairs. *Disappears is a burst of roses*

Squeaking continues

Tai: ... Well I'm intervening.

Summer: Intervening with puberty? She's at that age, lets just be proud the first boy she's into seems nice.

Yang: Jeez, did I really set the bar that low?

Jaune: *Excited* I can't believe we're really doing this!

Weiss: Shh! Don't let the others hear you. You go in first, I'll go in when the coast is clear~

Jaune: *Nods before casually walking to the bathroom*

(5 minutes later)

Jaune: *Zips his pants as he walks out over to Weiss with a satisfied smile* You dirty girl~.

Weiss: Jaune, I've haven't left yet.

Jaune: Huh?

Whitley: *Limps out of bathroom, clothes disheveled, as he makes his way to Yang*

Whitley: You sick whore~

Yang: What?