Strawberrysohn - Hee's Girl. - Tumblr Blog

sorry for being sappy on the TL everyone :/ just wanted to get some words out there for my lover boy <//3

10:25 : the brightest star in my sky ; my forever love <3

happiest of birthdays to lee minho, my glistening star in the night sky. everything i do revolves around you, my world. there’s nobody who could ever, ever come close to you. <3

my dear, my love for you came out of the blue, but after about a week or so, everything started to make sense. you’re perfect for me. you’re everything i could ever want & more. maybe it’s your beautiful smile that gives me life, your stunning personality that makes my day everyday, or your unimaginable talents that leave me speechless with every step. you’re simply flawless, darling.

my love, each day with you is heaven. it’s been well over a year since i fell helplessly, hopelessly, and suddenly in love with you, yet my love hasn’t faltered for a moment. maybe that’s partially due to the fact i feel so unbelievable safe with you. 

your comforting laugh, your beautiful smile, every single thing about you is just so ethereal. i can’t believe that there is someone on this earth that is as simply perfect as you, but i’m so so glad there is. and i’m so so so glad that i found you. if i didn’t have you, i simply wouldn’t be here today. 

my forever star; my whole world. you are and always will be the number one occupier of my heart. i mean it with no dramatics when i say that you saved my life. you came to me at a time where i felt like i was fading away into the abyss and you pulled me back up into your warm embrace. i can honestly say that i owe you absolutely everything that i am.

i have loved many in my life, but none have ever touched my heart and soul like you have. no one ever will. when i say that you, lee minho, are my everything, i mean it with every ounce of certainty in my bones. where you go, i follow, what you do, i watch. there’s a piece of you in everything i do & everything i am. i could not go on without knowing you. happy birthday to the literal love and light of my life. i love you more than any words can properly explain. thank you for everything. i’ll be by your side always.

- dedicated to lee minho, the one who made me want to stay. <3

I would like to see ur top 3 ice cream flavors pls reblog them in the tags

heyyy berrybaes :D just lettin’ y’all know,, i am in fact working on something real big ^_^ i have no clue when it’ll be out buttt just thought i’d let you all know that i am in fact not dead & very much still alive :) love yall lol

hyunjae day <3

september 13, 1997 : the day my beautiful hyunjae was born.

happiest of birthdays to my beloved lee jaehyun. the boy who owns my entire heart & the one who makes me smile endlessly <3 my forever love, my very being exists for the sole purpose of loving you endlessly.

as much as it may seem as a shock, my love for you didn’t come right away. it was more of a gradual thing. you started off as bias wrecker, but after four months, i started to realize just how strongly i felt for you. it turns out, the love i have for you will never stop doubling. i have come to fall irrevocably in love with you more and more each day. 

to me, you are a vision. a being so ethereal and perfect that it seems impossible that you actually exist. yet, it appears that you are in fact very real. crazy, right? i didn’t think so either, until i saw you with my own two eyes. i didn’t yet bias you at the time, but seeing you in concert definitely helped me come to bias you along the road. you’re a dream, lee jaehyun. truly an impossibly perfect being.

it’s unreal to think that there could be someone as talented, kindhearted, and visually beautiful who actually exists. you truly are a man of great luck; to be born a star. you’re such a gift to this sad, sometimes upsetting world. you make my day every time i see you or even think of you. i will always come to you when i need comfort or encouragement for my day to day life.

so, in conclusion, i love you infinitely, my dear boy. happy birthday to my beloved hyunjae. i wish that 25 treats you well & that you are always surrounded by love and joy wherever you go. thank you for being by my side, and i promise to always be by yours.

happy birthday, my love. <3

. . . @strawberrysohn !

welcome ! you can call me berry or max, i have no preference between the two :) i use she / her pronouns so please use those when referring to me <3

this blog is mainly for smut, but i will also write fluff, angst, and anything else you ask me for ! my asks and requests are always open, and i love talking to you guys, so please feel free to send in anything <3 i also have hard & soft hours open always so send stuff there too ! disclaimer : it may take me longer to write stuff that aren’t for idols or groups i’m not as connected with. those groups and idols are as seen below...

i will mainly write for my ults ( the boyz & tomorrow x together ), but i will also write for any other group or idol you ask me to, even if i’m not too familiar with them. i will write for certain members more often, either because i bias them or they are my bias wreckers. i just feel more comfortable writing for those that are higher on my list. hope you can understand <3

now, onto a bit more about me and my (non-existent) posting schedule ! 

as i said previously, call me berry or max <3 i am a student so school obviously takes up a lot of my life and i do most of my writing at school (i am a sinner) since that’s when i’m on my computer. if there are times where i go ia, it’s most likely because i have been too busy with my classes, or because i haven’t found enough free time to sit down and put words out. i also tend to feel unmotivated at times.

i consider myself very friendly so you can always talk to me about anything :) i’m totally fine with someone coming into my messages and starting a random conversation, so if you’d like to, then do so ! also if you just need someone to talk to, then i’m here as well <3

like i said, i write when i can, so please never rush me to post, thanks ! if you rush me, i will probably write faster and end up ruining the fic & i don’t want that. it is my goal to write the best i possibly can for you all <3

here are some more little things about me :)

- my birthday is june 22, making me a cancer - i have seen the boyz, stray kids, and seventeen live in concert  - my favorite colors are pink and black - i have four cats (if you want to see just ask for pics) - i am always open to talk about my non-kpop interests, which consist of many different shows and movies

that’s all for now :D this was mainly for you all to get to know me better. hope you’ve learned some things & if you have any questions, feel free to ask <3

OMG YOU ARE FINALLY BACK!!! Honest speaking I thought you were dead cuz you went mia all of a sudden! Hope you doing well and I am so glad that you are on tumblr again, it’s been a while and kinda missed you 😗

( I've never really interacted with you cuz I’m quite shy but I really enjoy your writing and decided to just make the first move and welcome you back hehe )

HI OMG sorry i'm getting to this so late but AHHH i'm so glad i was missed, truly it mean the world to me

and i'm glad you enjoy my writing :) that means a lot also, considering i was unsure about my skills at first. i hope to see you interacting more and please never hesitate to reach out to me for anything :) i'm all ears bro <3

sorry for disappearing yet again my berrybaes </3 i just have not been feeling well at all these days. i hope you’ll all understand :,)

i am still active and online pretty much everyday so feel free to send in asks or ask me anything if you need me or just miss me too much ;) i’ll be around as always

love you guys so much & your patience is so valued at this time <3 hopefully the old berry will be back soon with loads of content for y’all :D

xx berry <3

just a lil smth about my hyunjae bc whisper got me f'd up 😋

warnings: smut, unprotected semi-public sex, usage of the word slut :D

"s-shit, jae, we're gonna get-"

he shuts you up with a kiss as his movements come to a halt. when he pulls away, barely, his lips still touching yours, he looks at you. "darling, we're only gonna get caught if you keep opening that pretty mouth of yours." he whispers againsonce your lips are pursed, he restarts his movements, his hips thrusting into yours in a medium paced tempo.

you bite your lip to keep from causing attention to yourselves, but it was so difficult to stay quiet. hyunjae was sending you heaven once again. you felt like you were flying when he speeds up ever so slightly, rushed breaths leaving his lips.

with your bodies pressed against each other in the far left corner of the library (the corner where nothing ever happens), hyunjae takes you hard and fast now, the old wooden table creating rather profusely underneath you.

"h-hyunjae, please," you whine softly, quietly. "please, there's...there's no one."

"what do you want, hm?" the male peers down at you, a questioning look in his eyes as his movements never cease.

you look around warily. there wasn't anyone on this floor of the library at all. well at least, none that you could see. but thanks to the angle of the bookshelves, you would easily be able to see if anyone was there. once you were sure there was no one, you look back at the male.

"make me scream, jae," you tell him, watching as something shifts in his eyes. "make me scream so loud so anyone who's near will know that i'm yours."

he seemed to have really liked your idea, because he lets out a groan, reaching one hand to wrap around your throat, rather tightly. "yeah? you wanna be loud for me? in public?" once you nod, hyunjae smirks and keeps his harsh, quick, powerful movements going. "then go ahead, darling. be fucking loud."

and with that, he delivers one particularly powerful thrust that almost sends you reeling through the universe from the strength. a rather loud, breathy moan leaves you, and you look at him, eyes wide, and fucked out. "fuck, you wanna be a loud, drunk cockslut in public? so be it, princess."

attention - lee hyunjae.

you two hate each other...right?

word count: too lazy to count will add in later 😩

warnings: sexual frustration, mixed signals, slight angst, lots of plot, dom!jae x reader, a little bit of eric x reader (nothing sexual tho), possessive hyunjae (yikes buckle up hoes), sex against a wall, sex in a janitors closet, cute lil nicknames like slut, whore, & bitch, slight dacryphilia (gotta squint), praise, degradation, teasing, fingering & handjob, hickeys...lots of hickeys...

https://strawberrysohn.tumblr.com/post/678709061472157696/like-you-hate-me-lee-hyunjae (part one please read before this part)

you walk into school that monday, head held high. you walk past the group of cheerleaders by their lockers - he had been with all of them already. all in different places and positions. you recalled hearing how he fucked one of them in his car, one of them in the showers, and another sucked him off during study hall.

you chuckle to yourself realizing just how much of a manwhore hyunjae was. it humored you, really.

“i already told you, eric,” you hear his voice and you stop in your tracks. your eyes search rapidly for him until they finally spot him, standing at his locker. his friend, eric was beside him, as always. “i didn’t fuck anyone at the party.”

your eyes widen as you inch a tiny bit closer to eavesdrop more.

“that’s so unlike you!” the blonde boy exclaims. you watch as hyunjae closes his locker rather loudly. “last party you had, you told me you were with three girls in one night.”

you cringe at that. god, he was a whore.

“yeah, well, this time i wasn’t with anyone,” hyunjae speaks. you notice that he doesn’t meet his friend’s eyes. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

you walk away to your own locker, replaying his words in your head. why was he lying? was he ashamed to have been with you? is that why he had left so suddenly after? and why did you care so much?

--

the only class you had with hyunjae was honors english. and you sat diagonal from him, giving you the perfect view of him at all times. not like you wanted to look at him, or anything.

hyunjae arrives to class later than usual, but still before the bell. if it were under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t bat an eye. but, by looking at his slightly messy appearance (tousled hair, untucked shirt, etc) you knew why he had shown up so late.

the male walks briskly to his seat, not bothering to look in your direction at all. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little bit of jealousy towards whoever the lucky lady he had just fucked was.

you try to focus on your class, but you can't help but get distracted mid-lesson by the boy diagonal from you.

he really did look lovely while concentrating. was he always this attractive? you didn't think so. maybe it was just the post-sex euphoria still lingering around inside you. you didn't pay too much mind to your thoughts as you exit the classroom with everyone else when the bell rings.

hyunjae rushes past you, his shoulder brushing against yours ever so slightly.

and somehow, that one slight touch made you even more frustrated.

you creep through the crowd to your next class, your feet unintentionally dragging behind you. he disappears into the crowd of students heading to their next classes and you let out a sigh.

getting his attention again could prove to be difficult.

the next time you saw him was at the end of the day. you walked past him in the hall. he was with eric, of course. it was kind of crowded around where they were, but you managed to eavesdrop a little.

“what are your thoughts on that one girl?” eric asks the other, leaning against his locker. “what’s her name...y/n?”

you see hyunjae stiffen, but he keeps his composure. “she’s alright,” he speaks monotone. “why are you asking about her?” he doesn’t take his eyes off his locker.

eric shrugs. “don’t know,” he replies. “might make a move on her. you’ve never been with her, right?”

hyunjae hums and closes his locker, rather loudly. “no, i haven’t,” he makes direct eye contact with his friend. “she’s all yours, bro. have fun.”

you gulp as you walk away from their conversation. now, you had other things to worry about besides getting hyunjae’s attention.

now you had to deal with eric’s attention.

--

tuesday goes by, wednesday goes by, even thursday, too. but it’s friday now, and you know what you have to do.

you had given up on dressing nice (you had wore a skirt every day that week and still, nothing) so you entered the hall in your grey pullover hoodie, black leggings, and high tops, hoping your amount of effort showed how done you were with hyunjae’s stupid ass.

you don’t look his way as you pass his locker. you don’t try to eavesdrop on what he and eric are talking about. you do, however, feel a pair of eyes on you as you walk away.

you sit through all yours classes until it’s time for english, with hyunjae. he arrives on time, ignoring your eyes once again. little bitch.

but all throughout class, you find your eyes glued to the side of his face. you admire his perfect nose, his perfect lips, everything. he was so good looking and you hated his stupid perfect face.

you watch as he takes notes, his pencil scribbling on the paper. but oh, his hands. 

you had grown a liking to those hands. those long, slender fingers. the way they held you, the way they stretched you just right.

no, stop! you internally curse at yourself. you don’t like him, you don’t want him, and you don’t need his attention!

you were lying to yourself. you did like him, you did want him, and you did need his attention. who were you kidding?

--

as the school day comes to an end, you walk briskly past he and his friend’s lockers. you didn’t want to hear what they were buzzing about anymore.

“hey, y/n?” you hear your name and turn around. your heart nearly stops completely when you meet eyes with eric, jogging towards you. he must’ve seen you from the crowd. “can i talk to you?”

you blink rapidly, thinking of an answer. “um, sure?” that was honestly the best you could come up with.

eric clears his throat and catches his breath. “i was wondering you wanna go with me to the basketball game tonight?” 

you’re stunned, truly. when eric said he was gonna make a move on you, you didn’t think he was gonna ask you out. 

you wouldn’t lie: eric was attractive. very attractive. and from what you had heard, he was slightly less of a douche than hyunjae was. so, what could be wrong here?

plus, wherever eric was, hyunjae was sure to be. maybe this was the perfect way to finally get his attention.

coming back out of your thoughts, you nod to eric. “sure, i’d love to go with you.” you respond.

eric smiles largely. “great! meet me here at 6?” he slings his bag over his shoulder. when you nod in agreement, he smiles once again, sending a wink your way. “see you then.”

suddenly, your plan was back in full swing. and this time, you knew you were gonna succeed. 

--

“i’m honestly shocked you agreed to go with me,” eric says. he’s rambled a lot since you’ve been with him, but you didn’t mind. you found it cute. “i didn’t think you would like someone like me.”

“someone like you?” you tilt your head, pretending you had no idea what he was talking about. “what do you mean, eric?”

he looks at you before sighing. “i know i have a bit of a reputation,” he admits. “my friend does too. you know hyunjae, right?”

you nod. oh yes, you definitely knew hyunjae. 

“well, then you know that he’s a bit...” eric pauses, looking for the word to use. you figured he was trying not to insult his best friend, yet still be honest with you. “he’s a bit worse than me. a little bit more of a...” he trails off again, but you decide to help him out.

“a man-whore?” you suggest, an innocent smile on your face.

eric laughs, yet nods. “yeah, you can for sure say that,” he pulls open the door to the gym, where the basketball game was being held. “he really is a man-whore isn’t he?” the boy hums to himself and pulls the door shut behind the two of you.

muisc plays over the speakers as the players warm-up on the court. you look at the packed, busy bleachers, wondering where you would be sitting.

but then you knew exactly where you’d be sitting.

your eyes meet hyunjae’s from halfway up the stairs. he didn’t look upset or anything like that. in fact, his face didn’t show anything. 

you wished he didn’t have such a good poker face.

“hey man,” eric greets his friend, who’s expression changes once eric opens his mouth. “you know y/n, right?”

of course he knew you. you were the girl he had almost thrown away all his morals for. you were the one he had been wanting to talk to all week but always chickened out. you were the girl who had managed to drive him absolutely mad in one amazing, unforgettable night. 

and you were here with his best friend.

“yeah,” hyunjae responds, shifting his eyes to watch the players on the court. he doesn’t even seem to care that you’ve sat next to him.

being sat in-between eric and hyunjae...was something. you tried to sit a little closer to eric, since you were here with him, but hyunjae...

as the game came to a start, your eyes shifted from the court, to the side profile beside you. you realized that this was technically a date and you were paying no mind to the guy you were actually on a date with.

you sit up straight and snuggle into eric a little, mumbling to him, “i’m cold,” you had changed out of your hoodie when you went home, putting on a short sleeve top instead. and just as you hoped, eric was a gentleman.

he lifts his own hoodie over his head and hands it to you. “here you go, babe,” he smiles at you ad turns his attention back to the game. 

you blush at the nickname and pull the hoodie over your head and adjust it so you’re comfortable. 

“better?” eric asks you as he puts an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. 

“yes, thank you,” you smile to yourself and snuggle into the male. you notice hyunjae stiffen from the corner of your eye. his jaw was clenched and you could tell he was riled up. and he looked so hot riled up.

you could tell that you were winning this battle. you could tell that no matter how calm and composed hyunjae was while engaging in casual conversation with eric, he was thinking about getting you alone. and you could tell that when he would get you alone, that he was gonna ruin you.

and you couldn’t wait.

in fact, you were sure you’d make that happen sooner than later.

you pull away from eric’s grip. “i have to use the bathroom,” you lie, noticing the male on the other side of you perks up a bit. bullseye.

but you weren’t done. oh no, not even close.

“alright,” eric smiles at you. you felt a little bad about what you were going to do, but it had to be done. “see you in a bit.”

instead of nodding and leaving, you lean in quickly and plant your lips on eric’s. as you hoped, he returns the kiss, one of his hands coming to rest on your hip before you pull away, feeling a bit dizzy.

“see ya!” you stand up straight and wave to both eric and hyunjae and turn away from them, leaving their sight with a smirk on your face.

--

“what the fuck are you doing?” hyunjae all but growls at you as soon as he enters the hallway a little bit after you did. “are you insane? you have got to be out of your fucking mind-”

“shut your ass up, you dick,” you interrupt, watching as his eyes widen ever so slightly. you yank your wrist out of his grasp, ignoring the small pain that came from it. “this whole week i’ve been trying to get your attention, and you pretended like i didn’t even exist. really? that’s low, even for you.”

he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you with dark eyes. you thought you saw fifty storms brewing in those eyes, but you kept your composure.

“you’re such a fucking man-whore!” you practically yell. luckily everyone was still in the gym for the game so they couldn’t hear or see your outburst. “you made me feel so good, so appreciated for one night. now i know you were just coming onto me for the sex.”

“y/n, listen to me-”

“no, hyunjae,” you interrupt him again, this time getting right in his face. you could tell he was caught off guard by the way he moves his head back slightly and by the little gasp he let out. “you listen to me.”

he stares into your eyes, his own burning into yours with so many questions.

“i don’t mean shit to you,” you spit at him through gritted teeth. “and you don’t mean shit to me.” you poke his chest hard with every word. “i mean it! i hate you!”

“y/n, please-”

once again you don’t let him speak. “you son of a bitch, you actually made me believe that you were gonna treat me differently than all the other girls,” you shake your head, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. “i was wrong! i was stupid to ever think that you had a fucking heart.”

this time, he doesn’t even try to speak. he just stares at you, his shocked expression turning into one of regret instead.

you step back slightly, lifting eric’s hoodie sleeve to dab underneath your eyes. “i can’t believe i actually fell for your act,” you sigh, shaking your head at yourself. “if only i just resisted. then i wouldn’t have had to have felt so good due to someone who treats me like shit. maybe then i wouldn’t have craved that attention from you anymore. maybe then i wouldn’t have had to kiss your best friend in front of you to make you pay attention to me. maybe then-”

his lips meet yours and suddenly, every lined up thought you had was scattered into an unruly mess. he was kissing you. he was kissing you. you knew what the other girls said. “hyunjae doesn’t kiss anyone he hooks up with. he must be afraid of intimacy.” yet, here he was: intimate and all.

his hands find your waist and he pulls you in closer to him, as you finally start to move your lips in time with his. hyunjae was kissing you. and damn was he good at it.

as his tongue finds its way into your mouth, his hands slide up and down your sides. you feel yourself slowly get weak in the knees at all his touches.

when he finally pulls away to look at you, you notice the usual stoic expression leave his eyes and become replaced by a more raw expression. huh. maybe he did have a heart after all.

“y/n, i want you,” he breathes out, voice hoarse. “i...i need you, okay?” there was so much need in his tone but also something else that you couldn’t quite lay a finger on.

your mind still foggy and your knees shaking, you nod. “ok-okay.” you reply. you pull your trembling hands into the sleeves of your hoodie as hyunjae grabs one sleeved hand and drags you gently into the janitor’s closet. how romantic.

the closet was roomier than you imagined, thankfully. you were glad it was less painful and cramped when you were pushed against a wall by hyunjae almost immediately after he made sure the door was locked all the way.

his lips find yours again and you return to heaven. your eyelids flutter from the feeling and you instinctively throw your arms around hyunjae’s neck, pulling him closer to you.

there was something different in his kiss this time around. whereas the first one had been sweet, magical even, this one was pure need, more intense.

while his lips move against yours mind-boggingly well, his hands find the hem of your hoodie.

you let out a small whine into his mouth, gasping for air when he removes his lips from yours and instead, leaves a trail of kisses down your neck. 

“hyunjae...” you whisper his name as he starts to suck on the skin of your neck. you grip the back of his neck as your eyes close from the feeling. 

the male groans against your skin, pressing his crotch against you. you could feel how hard he was and it made your pussy throb.

he leaves marks all over your neck, covering both sides. he was sucking and biting on the skin like a rabid animal, muttering something under his breath that you unfortunately couldn’t comprehend.

when he pulls away, he’s breathing heavy, looking into your eyes deeply. you feel your face heat up from his gaze.

“y/n,” he speaks. his voice was barely above a whisper, but you understood him perfectly when he said his next words: “i want to taste you.”

a familiar feeling bubbled in your core as you nod, closing your eyes to calm your breathing. “please,” was all you could say.

you watch as hyunjae drops to his knees, not taking his hungry eyes off of yours. the sight alone was orgasmic.

he lifts up your skirt, noticing the wetness seeping through the thin fabric of your panties. his eyes lift to meet yours for a moment before a finger slips in and slides the damp cloth to the side.

“hyunjae, please,” you whine, watching him with needy eyes. your chest was rising and falling rather quickly. despite being in this type of situation with him before, you were somehow nervous, unlike the last time.

you could feel that there was something different; something that wasn’t there last time. there was something in his eyes, something in his aura. it was making you wonder...how much more was he holding back?

your wonders and curiosities exit your brain quickly as the male slips one long finger into your aching core and you let out a gasp that shifts into a moan as he starts to pump the finger in and out.

“j...jae...” you moan out and he looks at you at the return of the name you had used last time. the name that he had grown to love, the name he had repeated in his head in your voice for the past week almost.

eager to please you, hyunjae adds a second finger and you lay your head back against the wall. somehow with hyunjae, the pleasure was always overwhelming, no matter what he was doing.

“add another...” you mumble but he hears it and he quickly complies to your request. 

with three fingers inside you, hyunjae stretches you out with no mercy, making you squirm and whine, your eyelids fluttering from the overflowing pleasure.

his free hand grips your hip, keeping you steady. 

“jae, fuck,” you moan out as he starts to curl his fingers inside you.

“feels good?” he asks you, though you can tell he already knows the answer.

“yes, so good,” you sputter out, feeling your high coming. “i-i’m close, jae.”

he hums and thrusts his fingers into you even harder, sending you spiraling. “cum for me, darling.” his eyes once again meet yours and his lust-filled gaze was enough to send you over the edge.

you release with a silent moan, your eyes screwing shut. you feel your legs start to shake as you calm down, your chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

when you look down again to meet his eyes, you watch as he sucks the juices from his fingers, keeping eye contact with you while doing so. “delicious, darling, just like i expected.”

“y-you’re so hot,” you trail off, gulping. you weren’t ashamed to admit what you were thinking anymore. “you know that?”

“mm, of course i do,” hyunjae responds. “why else would i be so confident, hm? why else would i be able to get any girl i want?”

you roll your eyes, shaking your head. “we get it, you’re a man-whore.”

“if anyone here is a whore, darling,” he stands straight again, placing a hand on either side of your head, trapping you between he and the wall. “it’s you.”

“my body count is anywhere near as lengthy as yours,” you admit. “so don’t act like you know what’s up.”

“mm, alright, fine,” hyunjae recoils temporarily before speaking again. “maybe you’re not a whore in that sense, but you are the biggest fucking attention whore.”

your eyes widen and you shake your head. you were doubtful you’d be able to keep up the act for very long. “i’m not.”

“you are, darling,” he starts again, chuckling under his breath. “you live for the attention.  that’s what you wanted this whole week, no? you were so desperate for my attention and when you got none, you went to crazy, dumb, stupid measures to get it.”

“you’re just jealous i kissed eric.” you reply, staring up at him, your confidence not faltering.

you watch as hyunjae swallows, his eyes leaving yours for a moment, then returning. “i’m not jealous,” he retorts. “why would i be jealous? you’re not mine.”

“you kissed me, hyunjae,” you recall and his face falls, every ounce of confidence that was there before had blown away. “you don’t kiss anyone you hook up with. i listen to what everyone says, you know.”

hyunjae freeezes in place for a moment, seemingly contemplating what he wants to say. you could tell that your words had made him think more than he wanted to and that you had realized things you weren’t supposed to have realized. 

“you can tell me what you’re thinking, you know,” you speak again after getting no response from him. “i want to listen, okay?”

he shakes his head, turning towards you again. “you don’t get it, do you?” he speaks, his voice rather shaky. “y/n, i have never felt this confused in my life, okay? one minute, i think you’re annoying, and five minutes later, you’re hot as shit.”

“well that’s just because you had sex with me.”

“is it?” hyunjae raises a brow. “or was it that maybe i realized something. something that i had known deep down for longer than i can remember, but i refused to say anything because i knew that no matter how nice to you i could ever be, you would still hate my fucking guts.”

“jae...” you trail off, looking at him with worried eyes. “what are you saying...?”

“damn it, y/n!” his volume and power startles you. your heart stops beating momentarily. when he realizes he snapped, his eyes meet yours and he sighs. "i just..." he trails off, his gaze dropping to just below your eyes. "forget it. it's not important."

"jae," you start, lifting a hand up cautiously to the side of his face. his skin was smooth, soft, and warm under your touch. he lets out a calm breath at your touch and clears his throat. "don't be afraid to tell me your feelings."

"feelings?" he shakes his head, chuckling. "there are no feelings to discuss. what kind of feelings towards you could i possibly have, y/n?"

"okay, fine," you hum. "maybe it'll help if i'm honest with you first. so, here goes. hyunjae, i-"

"i think i'm in love with you."

silence enters the janitor's closet after hyunjae's interruption. you stare, mouth agape at the male across from you. the same guy who had made your life a living hell for years...was now possessing feelings for you?

“i...think i'm in love with you,” he whispers this time. you look into his eyes and see a glassy layer over them. “i am. i don’t know how, i don’t know why. maybe it’s the way you’re always so passionate about everything you do, or...or because you’re so determined. maybe it’s the way you carry yourself, with such confidence. you know you’re smart, you know your worth. you know what you want and you take it. and god, there’s just so much more i could say about you and it still wouldn’t get the job done. and i don’t know when this happened, but i-”

now it’s your turn to shut him up with a kiss. you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as he slowly reciprocates the kiss.

you don’t know why you shut him up, to be honest. it’s not that you didn’t like what you were hearing. maybe it was just that it was all too much to take in at one time. 

your lips move against his with fury, his hands finding your hips almost immediately. his fingers dig into your skin and you can’t even complain about the pain. it’s not like it bothered you anyway.

alarmingly enough, he lets out what seems like a whine into your mouth. was he that needy for you? his sounds combined with the way he was rubbing himself against you told you everything.

when you pull away from the kiss, he pants, eyes not leaving yours for even a split second. "touch me," he practically begs. "y/n, touch me, please."

if you could've recorded the tone of his voice in that moment so you could listen to it for the rest of your life, you would have. his words were dripping in need, dripping in desire. he needed you so bad.

quickly, your hands finds his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping impatiently. you couldn't even say anything. you just wanted to please him.

when you pull his hardened length from its constraints, your eyes widen once again, not only from the size (even though you saw it before, you couldn't not be impressed every time), but from the amount of precum that had already come out. boy was he desperate.

hyunjae breathes heavily as you start to stroke his length at a slow pace, using his precum as lube. you watch as your hand glides up and down his shaft smoothly.

"no, no, look at me, y/n," he speaks, voice shaky. "please look at me."

you nod and lift your gaze to meet his. "better?" you ask, watching as he tugs his bottom lip under his top one.

"yes, so much," he lets out a groan as your hand touches the head of his cock for a moment. "faster, please." he whispers but you still manage to hear it.

you move your hand faster on his cock and he lets out the most lovely sounds. "yes, yes, like that," his words turn into moans as he looks at you with dark eyes.

the sound of his moans were like heaven to you. there was something so angelic yet sinful about his sounds and it had you reeling.

as you stroke his length at a fast pace, his chest rises and falls with every harsh breath he takes. “fuck, y/n,” he groans, his eyelids fluttering. the way your name fell from his lips so sinfully made you even more eager to please him.

“a-am i doing a good job?” you ask him, your voice unintentionally shaking. you were sure it was from the need clouding your head. 

“yes, darling,” hyunjae groans lowly, nodding his head the best he could. “so good, so fucking good.” he growls the last bit, bucking his hips into your hand a little bit. 

it was a bit odd, you must admit, seeing hyunjae this vulnerable. you figured his need had taken over at this point and you knew it was unlikely you’d get this side of him again, but you had your hopes. even if you didn’t, you were going to savor this while it lasted.

your hand strokes his length quickly, the sound of the slight wetness making you bite your lip as you feel the wetness return to your core.

one of his hands comes to find your wrist, wrapping around it. the other hand runs through his hair as he lets out the same sinful noises you had grown to enjoy. “shit,” he moans out, letting his head fall back. “make me cum, darling, come on.” he growls moving your hand with his own as his breaths grow more and more erratic.

your eyes fall down to admire his length. you thought you felt a bit of drool come from your lips, but you have been mistaken. even after seeing him before, you were still so impressed (but also not surprised) with hyunjae’s body. he was just so perfect...

his grip on your wrist tightens, dragging you out from your thoughts just in time to see white strings of cum land smoothly on his and your hand. and also on the hoodie that clothed your torso.

“jae, you got cum on eric’s hoodie!” you gasp, looking down in horror, trying to wipe off the mess. you didn’t see the male in front of you smirk as he catches his breath. mission accomplished.

“he won’t notice or care,” hyunjae responds. “he gets all kind of stuff on that thing. food, drinks, who knows what. don’t get your panties in a bunch, darling.”

you frown but nod. your hands fall to the hem of the hoodie, ready to lift it over your head and take it off. “well, if this is going to continue, then i should just-”

“no.”

you blink softly, stopping your movements. “wha..?”

hyunjae shakes his head. “leave it on.”

“but...but it’s eric’s...”

“that’s why,” hyunjae responds. “it’s his. don’t you think he’d love when you return it to him after it smells like me?”

you shake your head. “he wouldn’t like that at all, i don’t think.”

“very well then,” he nods in approval. “now it’s definitely staying on.”

you gulp nervously. you wouldn’t lie, seeing him like this was very arousing. something about hyunjae being so possessive...it’s like he was trying to remind you that you were his.

but...were you his?

he grabs your hips before whispering to you. “jump.” so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him a little closer.

your noses almost touch and you let out a shaky breath. even after everything, you still got goosebumps being this close to him. “jae...” you whisper softly. the tone of your voice seemingly stirs something in him. you grip onto his arms as his length rubs against your wet core. “please.”

he doesn’t hesitate to insert himself into you, making you gasp. his size still managed to stretch you out just right. “jae, jae, oh my god.” you chant his name as he stills, letting you get comfortable.

as you regain your breath, he looks at you, eyes hooded, lips slightly parted. he was just so entranced in your beauty. he looked forward to seeing you fall apart on his cock again. 

“move, jae, please,” you whine, his heavy eye contact doing things to you.

“beg,” he demands, making your eyes go wide and your vision blurry with need. “beg for my cock like the little slut you know you are.”

“b-but...jae-”

he looks at you sternly and you feel that you might have collapsed if he wasn’t holding you up. he just had so much power over you...it made you want to curl up into a ball and scream into a pillow.

taking a deep breath, you weigh over your options. you could choose to not beg and get no dick, or you could throw away all your morals and beg for him like some desperate bitch and humiliate yourself.

you decided on the latter.

“please fuck me, jae,” you begin, internally cringing at your own tone of voice. “please, please, i need you inside me. i need you filling me up, stretching me out just right as you rearrange my guts. please, please, please-”

your words are cut off by a moan as he starts slowly move into you. no matter the speed, he still felt so good inside you, so right. it was like he was made for your pussy.

“fuck, y/n,” the male groans, looking down and watching as his cock disappeared into you with every deep, passionate thrust. “you feel so good wrapped around me.” and it was true. the way your walls hugged his length felt amazing to him. perfect, even. it was like you were made for his cock.

your moans spill out uncontrollably as he picks up his pace a little bit more, the sound of his hips hitting yours repeatedly filling the room along with your sinful sounds.

the noises you let out only added more fuel to hyunjae’s fire. “oh, you really are a slut, aren’t you?” he smirks, watching your expressions. he was in awe of how you could look so innocent, yet so sinful at the same time. it really got him going.

“n-no,” your voice cracks as you deny. “not a slut...” you shake your head the best you can while hyunjae quite literally fucks you up.

“mm, you’re right...maybe not a slut in general,” he hums in thought, his relentless pace not slowing one bit. “maybe just a slut for me, hm, darling?”

you were going to say something, but you can’t speak when hyunjae starts to pound into you, making your eyes roll back. you didn’t think it was possible to be fucked this hard, yet here you were. 

“hyunjae, oh my god,” you all but scream as he rams into you at an inhumane pace, fucking you with so much speed and power you felt like you were gonna get whiplash (haha). “you fuck me so good. so so fucking good.”

“mm, yeah?” hyunjae asks from in between his rushed breaths and groans. “you like when i fuck you so good your head spins?” he lets out a moan as you clench around his shaft. “oh, fuck, baby, you’re so good for me.”

his voice was laced with so much dominance, so much power. it made your knees tremble. he fucks into you with so much need, so much strength that every moral thought leaves your brain, every faint memory of whatever happened prior to this slips away. all you could focus on was his cock, hitting everything just right and making you lose your mind.

“tell me how good i feel inside you, slut,” hyunjae growls in your ear, his words dripping with a breathy moan. “tell me how good it feels to have me pulsing inside you, splitting you apart.”

you choke on a moan as his pace slows, but gets harder, his thrusts making you bounce slightly. “oh my god, hyunjae, you feel so fucking good, you’re so deep,” you whine as his length tears you up. “a-and so-so...big.” your cheeks flush red with embarrassment while a devilish smirk grows on the male’s face.

“yeah? my big cock making you braindead, hm?” he regains his previous speed, earning a loud gasp followed by a moan from you. “are you my braindead little bitch?” he hisses directly into your ear before taking your lobe between his teeth.

your eyes roll back at his words, his delivery making your toes curl from inside your shoes. “j-jae...” a loud moan of his name leaves your bruised lips as his pace leaves you breathless. “...harder.”

“fuck-” never one to disappoint you, hyunjae starts to pound into you, even harder than before. he groans against your neck, before starting to suck on the already sensitive skin there. his noises muffle against your skin as yours raise in volume from the now doubled pleasure. 

as he fucks you hard as you wear eric’s hoodie, his head races with thoughts. thoughts of jealousy, thoughts of longing. oh how he wanted you to be his.

“mine,” he growls against your neck, almost inaudibly. he half hoped it would go unnoticed by you, yet the other half hoped that you did hear it.

as his head races even more, every last thought blurring together, he somehow manages to fuck into you even harder, rougher, taking note of the way your noises come out more often and louder. his aggression fuels his movements as you become a mess on his cock. he was making you feel this good, he was the only one that could.

helpless cries of pleasure leave your lips as hyunjae sucks several dark, noticeable marks on your skin, pulling back slightly to admire the purple-ish spots on your neck. now people would know you were his. “you’re fucking mine,” he groans into your neck, but you hear him just fine. “my little whore, all mine. just mine.”

“h-hyunjae, c-close-” you stutter out your words, pausing to let out a few choked moans. tears fill your eyes as his pace and power tears you apart.

“mm, yeah?” he taunts, his own breaths getting erratic. he was also getting close. he watches the tears well up in your eyes with a mischievous smirk. “crying for me, hm? crying because i just feel so good, right, babe?” he’d be lying if he didn’t get off on the tears that were now streaming down your face.

“h-hyunjae, fuck!” you lean your head against his shoulder, letting your loud moan muffle as you feel your knot inside release, your juices flowing out of you and spilling onto his cock. 

“oh, shit, babe,” the male leans his head back and groans lowly as he follows suit after you, releasing into you, earning another small whine from you.

sensitive, exhausted, and out of breath, the two of you stay there, panting. he was still inside you, but neither of you seemed to care. you lift your gaze up to look at him, only to find he was already staring. blushing and embarrassed, you try to look away.

“hey, look at me,” he reaches out, cupping your face and lifting it so you’d look at him in the eyes. when you finally meet his eyes, there’s that vulnerability back again. you’re finally reminded of what he said to you before everything else. his gaze falters slightly and you can tell that he can tell what you’ve just been reminded of. “y/n, i-i need you to know that i’m...i’m sorry. for how i’ve treated you. not just this week or this year, but always. i guess i just never knew how to actually act around you.”

“so...your first instinct was to bully me?”

he shakes his head and looks to the floor, ashamed. “i know...i know,” he nods at you, lifting his eyes to meet yours again momentarily. he pulls away from you finally, releasing himself from inside you, emitting a small groan from you. you watch as he fixes himself up and listen as he begins to speak again. “i’m sorry. i was dumb. i’ve just never found someone i actually had feelings for, let alone feelings this strong.” he admits, tugging his bottom lip beneath his top one after.

you take a moment to process his words. he seemed sincere. “jae...this is a lot,” you tell him, sighing. “i mean, i go through the last who knows how many years thinking you hate my guts. and now, you’re...in love with me?” you whisper the last bit, the words unfamiliar to your lips.

“i understand that it’s confusing,” he averts his eyes elsewhere. “i just didn’t know what to do with myself or my feelings.”

you don’t say anything and just keep your gaze to the ground. 

taking your silence as a sign to continue, he takes a deep breath. "y/n, just...just one chance is all i ask for." he spoke more calmly now, no more rushed sentenced with no time to breathe. he was "i want to prove to you that i can be a better man for you."

you smile softly. he sounded so genuine. he was being so genuine. the tenderness, the emotion in his eyes. it was beautiful. he was beautiful. and you could finally see it clearly. he was beautiful. maybe more on the outside than on the inside, but you knew he was going to try.

"i...i really like you, hyunjae," you explain, noticing how you have his full, undivided attention as soon as you start to speak. "a lot. and i love the way you make me feel. because let's be honest here, you make me feel really, really good. like, so good i-"

"don't get me going again, y/n," the male warns, closing his eyes momentarily. he appeared to be thinking.

you sigh. "right, well, i guess i'm just...confused."

hyunjae tilts his head slightly to the left. "confused? why is that?" he hums, lifting a finger to your cheek and caressing the skin softly.

"i...heard you telling eric that you didn't sleep with anyone at the party," you inform him. his eyes widen a bit and realization hits his face. "i thought that maybe you were...ashamed of me? like, i'm not pretty enough or popular enough to be known as a member of your elite list of people you've been with, or some-"

once again, the male cuts you off with a kiss. a sweet one this time. you melt into his touch as his hands find your waist, holding onto you firmly, but also gently. like he didn’t want to hurt you but also wanted you to know that he was never ever gonna let you go.

"y/n, my darling," he begins once he's pulled away from your lips. "i did that to protect your image. word gets around super fast at this school. i tell one person that we fucked, the whole school knows by lunch."

your lips take the shape of an 'o' but no sound comes out. you just nod, looking at your feet. you were smiling like a dork. was he really that thoughtful and considerate? it warmed your heart.

"so, y/n," hyunjae clears his throat and your eyes lift back up to meet his. "do you wanna...see where this goes?"

"what do you mean?"

"i don't know, i was thinking we fuck around some more for a while, maybe try some new stuff," he freezes mid sentence to grasp your hand in his. "and then maybe i'll properly ask you out on a date. how's that sound?" he smirks at you mischievously, since he already knows the answer.

"of course, you ass," you roll your eyes but can't help but smile. "man you're good at talking, huh?" you nudge him in the shoulder a little as you giggle.

"that's not all i'm good at, darling." he winks and you punch his shoulder.

"shut up, dickhead."

"make me."

you lift yourself onto your tiptoes and attach your lips to his with a smile. as his hands find your sides, you wish that you could stay like that forever. but of course, you still have to give eric back his hoodie.

-

ahhh part two is finally out, sorry for the long wait everyone 😩 hope you enjoy <3

you are a sunshine like how 😭😭 you are so kind ily

this is forever in the mind

ahhh thank you 😭 that means a lot, i'm glad to bring some positivity to this place :) ily too you have my heart ong 😩💗

also KFSGSJSKKDSK ERIC 😩😩😩 he lives rent free in my brain 24/7 thank you for blessing my eyes today

welcome back angel

tysm! i'm so happy to be back <3 it actually means so much that people are actually caring and were missing me 😭 thanks again love <3

oh my fucking god i just- bro i still cant process it i thought yo ass was gone forever 🥲🥲🥲

welcome back man im boutta burst into tears 🥹💖

my heart is pounding tysm for worrying about me 😭 im actually so touched i didn't really think you'd react so strongly or that you'd even notice 😔 this makes my day truly <3

hello my berrybaes :) i’m back! i understand that my hiatus was sudden but i had to take a leave of absence since my computer wasn’t working properly and i got logged out of this account on my phone :,( but good news,, i’m back!

i am working on stuff for you guys ofc i just need some time to recollect myself on here :) i will back to writing for you all soon 

i’m so happy to be back to spread the hyunjae agenda <3 love you guys and thank you all for waiting,, you have my heart <3

hello my berrybaes :) soooo i had a question: would it be okay with y’all if i started posting some of my letters that i write for idols on here? i mean i know this is mainly a blog for fics and imagines but like...letters are a form of writing too yk? plus i would updating more frequently since it’s easier for me to write my letters than my long stuff that i write...idk let me know what y’all think :)

OMG your mum follows The Boyz too?? That so cute 💕🥺🤧 Does she have a bias/ult?

yes!! i try to get her into as many of my groups as i can (but i stan soooo many it's impossible) :D her bias in the boyz is sunwoo and her bias wrecker is younghoon :) sunwoo is actually one of her top three ult biases also :)

When you first started getting into TBZ, were there members that you used to mistake for each other? I used to always get Hyunjae and Eric confused but then I realised Eric has a semi butt chin and more cat like eyes. Also trying to distinguish Hyunjae and Sangyeon in The Stealer mv was sooo hard as a new deobi cos they almost had the same hair and their lines were back to back a lot of the time or they would swap the same prechorus parts at different choruses (if that makes sense). 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫💫

i confused chanhee, changmin, and kevin and idk how

my mom actually struggled with your struggles (when she was getting into the boyz) so it's really crazy to see that others struggled with those too when i told her that it was only her LMAO

but honestly i didnt really confuse anyone else,, i just didnt know who some members were :)

Heyo I’m new to your blog :3 I was wonder who your faves are from The Boyz (maybe like top 4/5?)?

AHHH OKOK SO HERE WE GO

juyeon (my ult, the loml)

sunwoo (second bias :D my bae)

eric (bias wrecker grrr he drives me insane)

hyunjae (bias wrecker grrr he drives me insane pt2)

chanhee/new (my lil cutie patootie i love that sassy bean sm)

those are my top five :) thanks for askinggg

i hope you’re doing well my friend 🥹🥹 how are you hoeski?

i am...i'm okay :) i've definitely been better but i am hanging in there,, just pulling through so i can see tbz in 22 days :,) i'm really gonna see my sweetie pie honey cake loml juyeon in real life SCReaming i can't process

but yeah i guess i'm doing alright :) mr crushy crush said hi to me today so that was great :D although classes have been stressing me out (what's new) so i have trouble balancing school/social life/me time but it's working :))

aside from getting bias wrecked left and right and having mental breakdowns here and there, i would say that i am fine and dandy <3 thank you for asking broskiiii

which would y’all rather be called berrybaes or baerrys ? i just wanna call y’all something lolz

it’s up to you guys though so please choose (comment your choice) <3

hellooo berrybaes (i think thats what i’m calling y’all, i havent confirmed anything yet tho) <3 just wanted to let y’all know that i am in fact writing. yes, you read that right, i am working on my shit. 

i should have something out pretty soon (not sure if it’ll be hyunjae pt 2 yet but who knows maybeee) so PLEASE. stay tuned and i will see y’all when i see ya again <33 

love yaaaaaa

GUYS.

I’M SEEING THE BOYZ WHATTSTHEHTSEFFXH

FIRST SKZ AND NOW TBZ AND TBZ IS IN LESS THAN A MONTH OMG IHIHYIIITGIHI 

but i really hope eric will be back by then,, ofc more than anything i want him to be happy and healthy but i can’t imagine what it would be like without him there <3 please get well soon my love

but AHHH YOU GUYS.

also in regards to my previous post: i’m not leaving or anything like i’m still gonna be active all the time and everyday lmao just not posting often sorry for any misunderstandings <3

howdy guys :) just a little life update to explain why i haven’t been posting anything or even updating my drafts <3 y’all deserve to know what’s up

so firstly, i’ve just been so drained recently. school, relationships, mental health. it’s all just stressing me out and it sucks because i can’t even find joy in one of my passions: writing. i feel like i’m in a constant melancholy state, sad for no reason.

secondly, as stated before, relationship drama. friends keeping shit from me, ruined trust, anxiety, worrying situations. a week ago everything was going great and now it’s all gone downhill. i don’t know if i’ll ever recover fully or trust fully again but oh well. everythin has gone to shit.

an finally, i just don’t have time. between my personal life and classwork, i’m swamped. i’m trying to balance taking time with myself and working on what i need to work but i’m so overwhelmed i end up having no time for myself after all. i haven’t been sleeping more than four hours every night and i know that i’m gonna crash soon. 

so yeah that’s basically it. i hope you all understand this is why i haven’t been writing but i promise i’ll come back to writing soon. maybe when classes end i’ll have more time to update on here and i hope things are better by then.

until then, love you all <3