God Bless Regular Readers Who Come Back, Re-read, Then Re-comment Bc Honestly--authors In Ruts NEED The

god bless regular readers who come back, re-read, then re-comment bc honestly--authors in ruts NEED the reminder that our stuff actually exists and is still being enjoyed even if updates are slow

Oh god I wanna write them because I love how trashfire they are-

Adam x Lute headcanons:

- Lute loves weird taxidermy and oddities so when Adam gets her gifts he’s picking up a teddy bear with a bloody skull face or a heart shaped box full of small animal skeletons.

- Lute is very intense in everything she does including how she loves people. Her compliments almost sound like threats and she reminds him she loves him plenty even though he usually responds “yeah I know.”

- Adam writes Lute love songs all the time. Even though Adam doesn’t like getting mushy he really does pour out his heart to his hot goth girlfriend.

- Adam wears his mask most of the time to hide insecurities from when his wives left him but when they are alone he never has his mask on. Lute climbs into his lap and gives him kisses.

- Adam does reckless shit all the time and so Lute often comes to the rescue. Sometimes even holding him bridal style.

- She’s the type to steal Adams clothes to wear. She’ll find his Metallica shirt on the floor (because of course his clothes are all over the floor) and puts it on. Refusing to give it back.

silly non serious thoughts

- if in one of their first meetings Al said something Vox did/suggested was “capital!” (as one of those small compliments he does to butter people up) and Vox’s brain was like “WOW HE SAID IM CAPITAL FHDFHG MARRYMEMARRYME” but he blurts something stupid “ghh I LOVE CAPITALISM” and Al’s like “hmmMMmm I’m sure you do my friend.” (Vox brain: “HE CALLED ME HIS FRIEND WE’RE FRIENDS SHDHFJ”)

Except I remembered “capital” was more of a UK thing and made myself sad

- Vox has a folder of “every time alastor laughs/hums/said his name/says good morning/goodnight/best jokes/best threats/says something nice” .mp3 compilations. it’s like the worst asmr. He totally didn’t feed it into an AI. (Actually I think if alastor ever found out Vox had done any corruptions/deepfakes of his voice, vox’s days would be numbered. As pathetic as Vox is, it would be even more pathetic if he considered ai-alastor-voice as inferior to the real-deal because he was an alastor audio purist. But we know he’s a cheap creep and has no standards so probably has ai-al read him bedtime stories and morning peptalk.)

anon please just let me tell you these are fucking hilarious I'm losing my shit ALLSLKFKKKLLLJ, "ghh I LOVE CAPITALISM" is so stupid I love it

⚠️‼️WARNING- This is a rant about forgiveness and letting go. Centered around my childhood. I keep a lot of things vague but there's mentions of emotional, slight physical abuse and addiction.‼️⚠️

"How can you still love dad but you can't forgive mom? If anything dad was WORSE"

Maybe. Maybe not. You don't even know a thing.

For starters. I HAVE let go of mom. I let her go a long time ago. When I was turning 13, she called me, crying the same crocodile "I'm getting sober and staying sober" tears. And I told her, straight up.

Don't you EVER contact me again without a one year chip, a letter from a sponsor, and can look me in the eyes without crying your lying tears and tell me you've changed.

I haven't heard from her since.

I learned yesterday she died, twice, but they saved her, both times. I didn't feel a single thing about it. I just kept watching my show "Serves her right" and moved on. Because I do NOT give a fuck about her.

I've let go of a lot of what you all have done, in fact. The only reason I let you stay in my life is the fact y'all are more or less sober and more or less functional.

"But dad is as bad an addict. And he's DONE WORSE"

He is. But has he?

Dad never got high and drunk and screamed in my face about how he can kill me, wants to even.

Sure. Dad did scream in my face. Because words were never our strong suit. Communication something his thick bullhead never learned. Because we're two Taurus who do nothing but lock horns and it's the same as how he was raised. Constantly arguing with his mother.

A big difference between our mother and father?

For starters you two were favored by mother.

Father, blessedly, loved me more than the son he'd prayed for. Because I was the only one of us three who was ready to love him when he stepped in and out of our life.

Know why he stepped in and out? To keep us from seeing his worst.

Where mother deemed it suitable to expose her very young children to the monster she was and then blubber on about how sorry she was without trying to make changes.

Dad never apologized for something if he didn't plan to fix it. And he made leaps and bounds while I was living with him and forcing emotions and communication on him.

He was a functional addict, at least. I never had to worry if he'd black out and miss work or wreck the car, or start choking me, or even raise a hand to me.

I pushed him once. I pushed him and screamed and cussed and asked "What!? You finally gonna hit me!?"

He looked horrified at the very notion.

And I was so pissed off at the moment I just laughed and walked away.

And he made me dinner and asked if I wanted to sit at the table with him.

That's another thing. I didn't get a home cooked meal from mom until she married her bitch of a now ex-wife who I had mutual animosity for.

And yes I'm a hypocrite because he's an addict too.

But he was, some how, bipolar as he was, the most stable part of my life.

He was also there for my most crucial moments.

Before my teenage years I lived on and off with him. Running to him for safety, comfort, privacy and space. And as a teenager I ran to him again for the same things. From mid middle school to mid high school, where life is really starting to make sense and you learn who you are as a person and the people you want in your life. It was HIM. There for the mood swings. And yes he gave as good as he got, but damn did he take a lot.

He's also the only THE ONE Person who didn't let my little brother treat me like trash.

I spent YEARS fighting tooth and nail against him, literally, physically.

Brother came to stay with me and dad briefly and he put my brothers shit to a stop so quickly I got whiplash.

He was my literal one and only defender.

Idk. Maybe I'm crazy, stupid, a hypocrite.

And I wouldn't live with him where he is in life right now. Or even permanently with who he was before my stint with him in my beginning-mid teenager years.

But those hm, four-ish years?

They were the most important.

He taught me love takes work. Patience and understanding and hard sweat blood and tears.

I'll never have the dad I loved back.

So I guess now it's time to let him go, too.

But at least, unlike with mom, I can look back on my dad and think. Know. With 100% certainty and his whole heart. He loved me truly, sincerely, even when I was a raging bitch.

So I'll let go. But I don't owe a single person my forgiveness. Not even he gets that.

At first I was "No it's the other way" but tbh, no it's not. It's this. All the fucking way. The dumb thing usually involves Vox tho so it's more like "Wait, that's BOTH my idiots!"

That's not to say, of course, there's not PLENTY of the opposite way. Alastor is constantly swooping in to save damsel in distress Valentino who let's himself get kidnapped or drugged or what have you to be recused.

I'm just imagining Stolas during the Looloo land visit , totally capable of escaping "Yoo-hoo~ Blitzy~"

Valentino: *sees someone doing something stupid* Valentino: What an idiot. Valentino: *realizes it's Alastor* Valentino: Wait, that's MY idiot!

I wanna write these two sooo bad

He may not be homophobic, but he is bowserphobic

Plus some soft doodles cause they live in my brain rent free