When The Group Gets Together

When the group gets together 😅

𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘔𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌 𝘏𝘌𝘙 𝘕𝘖𝘞, 𝘉𝘜𝘛 𝘠𝘖𝘜 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌𝘋 𝘔𝘌 𝘍𝘐𝘙𝘚𝘛.

PAIRING: Gojo Satoru X Reader

GENRE: Angst

TAGS/WARNINGS: Hurt/Comfort (or not you decide hehe). Break-up. Falling out of love. Just hurtful shit. He loves someone else now but he didn't cheat. Can't explain shit omg just read sorry

NOTES: Listen to Madison Beer's new song Reckless while reading, the title is from the lyrics of this song !!

Hard as you try, there seems to be no anger in your heart. No burning rage that makes you want to set the whole world on fire. The urge to inflict the same kind of pain he's caused you not even making an appearance in your heart and mind. If it's resentment on the other hand, maybe you do bear some. Pain, too, if you're being completely honest. But you don't really feel like acting on it. Don't feel like looking for ways to release the negative emotions bubbling inside you. You just wanted to be at peace, wanted to cry everything plaguing your heart.

Maybe it's because he said it in such a soft voice, like he didn't want to hurt you but then not telling you at that moment will only make it worse, so he decides to. His palms were rubbing the back of his neck, eyes looking anywhere but you when he announced the feelings he's been desperately trying to contain.

"I'm in love with somebody else."

He wouldn't cheat on you. To the very bitter end he endured for you, and you knew that. He must've seen how desperately you were trying to save the relationship. How you still try to melt the cold that blankets over your relationship with your warm hugs, kisses lingering on his cheeks just a little bit longer than usual so you can make sure he feels the love that still blooms so beautifully in your heart.

"I understand." No matter how hard you swallow, the lump in your throat doesn't seem to go away, straining your voice. "I'll pack my things tonight and leave tomorrow."

"You don't have to go right away, Y/N," He looks at you sadly, almost pitifully, and you hated it—the fact that you're faced with the reality that it's all beyond saving.

He wouldn't run after you. Not this time.

You realized your high school days were over. He's not going to chase after you, hands on your waist saying sorry and kissing your neck under the rain every time you run away after an argument. He's no longer going to bring you flowers, thrusting it straight to your chest when he gets home because it makes him too shy to be even more sentimental than he already is.

Gojo Satoru is no longer yours.

"It's fine, Gojo." you smile at him, not missing the way he winced at the mention of his last name. Nothing like the usual "Satoru" he's been used to hearing for years. No baby's, no love's, just Gojo. Perhaps he deserved that. He's always been stupid with words, constructing sentences doesn't seem to be a thing of his. Yet this one request he was sure he would beg you for, if you were ever to refuse.

"Will," he begins, closing his eyes shut shortly after then taking a deep breath. "Will you share the bed with me?" He smiles at you sadly, guilt plaguing the beautiful frosted eyes you've always loved. "For the last time?"

Biting your lip to prevent it from shaking even more than it already it, you nod at him, heading to the kitchen as he looks at you with a confused expression. A sigh escaping his lips when you turn around to answer him.

"I'll cook us dinner before bed."

That night in bed, when you couldn't keep bottling it up anymore, you ended up crying in his chest. His arms around you as he runs his fingers through your hair. None of you spoke a word. After all, what do you say to a lover you'll be losing tomorrow? To another woman you think you probably will never be.

He assures you, though. It's not the fact that she's prettier, not that she's kinder, sweeter, or more well-spoken than you could ever be. It's just that he doesn't feel it anymore, doesn't hear his heart beat with you the way it did before—and he hates it, God, does he despise the realization. Yet, while he couldn't imagine his life without you, he thinks he also couldn't imagine a future without her.

You look up at him and he stares down at you, with eyes full of warmth and melancholy—but no longer of love. His frosted lashes almost a painful reminder of what your relationship has gone to—cold and unforgiving. His eyes speak to you the words he somehow couldn't bring himself to say.

He's sorry for hurting you, but he's not for loving her. After all, he just loved. Just started to harbor the same feelings he once did for you.

The morning was both harder and easier than last night. The closure you got before the separation more than you could have ever asked for—a temporary solution to your breaking heart. However, the pain persists as you get closer and closer to leaving the house you've spent so many years with him so he can stay in it and make new memories with her.

The door is heavy, heavier than the luggage he's helping you to carry. Turning back to him when you've stepped a foot outside, your eyes catch the sight of the necklace hanging around a chain on his neck—your present to him for your first anniversary. He must have noticed, delicate fingers suddenly wrapping around the ring.

"I'm not taking it off," Gojo Satoru smiles, goodbye dripping from every syllable of every word coming out of his mouth. "So never take yours off too."

You reach up to him for a last hug, arms wrapping around his neck as you let your tears fall the moment your face is out of his sight. He was your best friend, your anchor, your life support. He was everything to you and you like to believe that once upon a time, you were too.

You whisper your last I love you before driving off in your car, the response you were used to hearing every single time not echoing in your ears this time.

Gojo Satoru was more than a lover to you. He's taken up more memories in your mind than the thoughts you have for yourself, your heart filled with nothing but a space for all the love you would have given him for the rest of your life, had you been given the chance. You spent years experiencing the beautiful kind of love he could give and maybe, this time, it's time for others to experience it too.

The same fantasy you once did.

The sun shines down through your windshield, reflecting on the ring shining on your finger as it grips the steering wheel. The shimmer a bittersweet reminder that while he might love her now, he still loved you first, and you guess—no, you believe, that it's enough.

To be loved by Gojo Satoru and bask in the affection he once offered.

---

winter, 1630

akaza x fem reader smut (pic creds to @/6tygu on twt) summary: it's only natural for a woman to have her first love be the demon she grew up with, is it not? word count: 14.2k tag/warnings: smut, loss of virginity, age difference (older man/younger woman), period-typical sexism and dialogue, slight gore and slightly questionable thoughts/morals notes: ok i genuinely tried but writing period-typical 17th century stories was hard asf + i lost half of the file and only realised once i got off the plane but enjoy! <33 (MINORS DNI, MORE UNDER CUT!)

* ‧ ⨯ . ⁺ ✦ * 𓂂 ꙳

一

there once was a time when the city of edo had first been founded and flourished in its internal peace.

it was a time when the nation of japan was under the rule of tokugawa shogunate and the 300 regional daimyo, who aimed to advance the nation’s security for its people once the war was subdued.

the time where criminals were brandished with tattoos marring their arms in order to identify those who disrupted the acclaimed peace and security which the ruler aimed for.

but as both the gods and history would soon know, the peace in which the people of the tokugawa period had hoped for wouldn’t be achieved until the taisho era, in which the beings that plagued the grounds of the night would come to have their existence ceased.

it was a time far in the past when he was still upper moon two, only second to a brilliant swordsman and third to the progenitor of his kind. his lordship had been in search to recruit the most powerful demons in order to form a hierarchy that would heed his every order and reach the very peak of their strength, and it was in the the beginning of akaza’s new life when he encountered a human girl destined to touch his heart.

the year was 1623. reigning as upper moon two despite being only shy of thirty years of age, akaza had come to discover where his morals lay. already having killed nine hashiras in the span of ten years or so, he had developed a resentment for those he deemed weak; the common folk of humans who refused his offer of becoming a demon and achieving their true strength, as well as the meek who had no resolve to protect themselves or become stronger.

the world needed to be purged of such weaklings, they served no purpose.

and in that fateful year was when he came across a small prefecture in edo, just outskirts of the bustling parts of the city yet was full of merchants and noble samurai.

he knew not what led him there. never one to believe in the fate which the gods had in store for him or in the belief that lay in the stars above, akaza had spotted a small child within the secluded cemetery of the prefecture.

there was no apparent reason that he had to approach the girl. perhaps it was empathy from a memory he had blocked within the depths of his human memory? or perhaps he felt the need to protect the girl from any demons or monsters wearing the flesh of humans who would cause her any harm. that was right, akaza did not prey on human women or children. to him, they were weak in a way that needed protection, not to be undermined.

as he approached you, akaza had half a mind to wonder if you would scream in fear upon seeing his appearance. the moon was bright, and children were taught not to talk or trust to any strangers, let alone those who looked akin to the portrayal of demons that filled the local temples.

when you looked up at him, you did not scream.

“good eve, sir.”

what a surprise for upper moon two.

blinking incredulously, akaza gave a warm smile.

“good eve to you too, little miss. what brings you here to these parts of the city all alone at night?”

your response was as quick as ever.

“nothing. my father sent me here to fetch wheat from the market, but with the few coins he gave me, i worry the small amount is not enough to feed my family. i came here to fetch more.”

you picked wheat and vegetables from the graves, and akaza watched as you tucked it safely in the makeshift bag made of torn kimono fabric.

you were grave robbing the offerings left for the dead, but that wasn’t his concern.

“those wheat and vegetables which you pick are of horrid quality. you cannot eat it,” he said.

you hummed in acknowledgment. “what may be deemed as unsatisfying by most is not to me, for we are not in the position to judge what is good and ill.”

he chuckled at your response. “i would have believed you to be of noble standing, little miss. your words are akin to a priestess’ and as scholarly as a philosopher’s.”

“i thank you for your kind words, good sir. unfortunately, i am none of those. i am merely the eldest daughter of a medicine seller,” you said, eyes lingering over his tainted skin. “forgive me if i intrude, but are you perhaps a marked criminal?”

akaza stretched his arms in front of him, looking at the dark blue stripes that ran as lines throughout most of his being.

“perhaps i once was, but my memory may serve me wrong,” he said.

“i do not mind if you are,” you set the now full bag of food on the ground, tying it as carefully as you could with the little lighting that was provided from the moon. “in truth, i find your company much more bearable than those who lead an unsullied life.”

“and what would that mean?” he grinned.

you paused. “what i mean is, the people who sit at the foot of the throne with others at their beck and call view misdeeds only through a single look. mayhaps you had your reasons for whatever crime you committed, and if only they knew, their morals and sympathy would have overshadowed the judgement that befell you.”

he let out a soft chuckle. “how old are you, little miss? you are far too clever to be where you stand in life at this moment.”

“i know not of my age,” you said quietly. “father tells me my day of marriage is not very far, and it is only a matter of time before a man of higher standing take me as his bride.”

“you are but a child,” akaza tilted his head.

“to my family, i am not. my brothers are infants, and my mother says that because i am beautiful, she has dedicated money to educate me so that a politician or samurai may take interest in me,” you shrugged. “she, however, says that the words i sprout are strange. i have come to be aware that not everyone may want to hear what i say, but ‘tis alright.”

you lifted the bag over your shoulder, “i beg your pardon for divulging so much about myself. i must return home with haste, and i wish you good fortune, sir,” you smiled.

akaza stepped in front of you, blocking your path. you looked at him in surprise, and he shook his head. “i won’t let you return home with such horrible crops. come, i shall show you a plentiful field,” he said, taking your hand as he led you through the dark woods.

“s-sir!” you gasped, struggling to both keep up with him in your poorly made sandals as well as hold on to your stolen food.

he stopped in his tracks, turning to look at you. “if i may, shall i carry you on my back?”

“that would be most helpful,” you swallowed nervously, “but as strong as you look, i needn’t bother you with my weight.”

he lifted you effortlessly onto his back, your arms wrapped around him as he supported your weight by holding your legs. “‘tis not a bother, little miss,” he said, and he took off into the night, your eyes wide with wonder as the wind rushed through your hair, his inhuman speed matching his peculiar appearance.

placing you onto the ground, akaza smiled as you audibly gasped at the field that lay before you. you had seen many beautiful and fresh crops for the taking from afar in the streets, but had never been so close to a haven of feasts that your family could never afford.

“sir, i...” you looked around. it was devoid of other life, the owner most likely having gone inside their house for the night, and that left both you and akaza the opportunity to act on something you never knew you would ever commit.

“it’s all yours,” he smiled. “take as many as you wish.”

you turned to him. “what about you? or have you taken some for yourself prior to meeting me?” you teased.

“no,” he laughed. “but i’ve already had my fill of dinner for tonight. it’s time for you to reap your reward, now.”

“reward?” you giggled, crouching to unroot the crops before you.

akaza shrugged. “i suppose you’ve earned it, little miss. the world is cruel to those who are weak, and this may just be a blessing for the good you have done.”

“ah, i know i’m weak,” you said, “but i think our views on the word ‘weak’ differ, don’t you think?” you hummed. “well, no matter. i suspect you’re looking for something in return for helping me find good crops. what is it that you seek, sir? my father’s medicine?” you looked at him with a smile.

akaza raised a brow. “has nobody ever helped you simply out of goodwill, little miss?”

you bit your lip. “i apologise for my assumption,” you mumbled. “you are a kind man, sir. i do not deserve treatment as fine as this.”

“don’t say such things,” akaza chuckled softly. “but i do need something to call you other than ‘little miss.’ tell me, what is your name?”

you blinked. “that would be y/n. and yours, sir?”

“akaza,” he extended a hand to you, which you shook. “you have a beautiful name, y/n.”

“you flatter me so,” you laughed. “and your name is quite rare, i believe. i suppose it makes you special!”

“you’re the first to ever say that,” he patted your head endearingly. “are you finished taking the crops?”

“aye,” you nodded. “it has been a pleasure meeting you. i shall pray for safety in your travels, akaza-san.”

“and how would you know of my travels?” he asked, amused.

“well, i’ve never seen you around the area. and with your speed, strength, and dismissal to my...crimes, i suppose you are a travelling thief?” you hummed in thought. “i-i don’t mean to be so bold,” you quickly added, slightly flustered. gods, perhaps your mother was right. no man would ever like a girl who ran her mouth, after all.

“‘tis alright,” akaza laughed heartily, “and yes, i suppose you’re quite right, i am a wandering thief, after all.”

you smiled. “you are a good man. come, tread with me homeward so that my father may gift you some medicine for all you’ve done. think of it more as a gift from a friend.”

his eyes widened. “that is a generous offer, y/n, but believe me, i have no use for medicine. i’m quite resistant to pain, i’d say,” he shook his head.

you frowned. “if i may never see you again, allow me to give my thanks in the form of a gift. i can never repay your kindness, akaza-san, and i hope you understand how truly thankful i am,” you pleaded.

“you might see me again,” he hummed. “tomorrow night, and for many nights to come, we may meet.”

“is that a promise?” you asked.

“aye, ‘tis a promise,” he smiled.

akaza returned you to your home, leaving you to your own devices once near the busy street. he was yet to practice altering his appearance to fit a human’s, and did not want your parents to think he was a potential suitor intent on marrying you. it was most absurd that you, a young girl, had been walking alone at night with him, and with the abundance of fresh crops at your side, he strayed away from arousing any more suspicion from being sighted with you.

once out of edo and free in the woods, he questioned what he had just done. it wasn’t strange for him to help some children or women in need simply out of good grace, but to promise them another meeting? it was too out of character. you didn’t need to be affiliated with demons, you had enough on your plate. with your family being in the lowest caste system of edo, misfortune would only await you from befriending him. and yet, despite knowing you were nothing more than a weak human child, akaza continued to aid you in scavenging food rations and even supplies for your father’s medicine.

and thus concluded his first encounter with you, the enigmatic human girl who never questioned him on his appearance and what he was. for years to come, he continued to visit you almost nightly, watching you grow into the fine young woman whom he knew you’d become.

he would tell himself that there was nothing wrong, nothing vulnerable about befriending you. his lordship made acquaintances with humans of all kinds. there was nothing to fret over. you were born to live a life he wasn’t meant to touch; the life of a beautiful girl who would soon win the heart of a powerful man and live in a world of safety and joy. it didn’t matter if you were weak, you were destined to live among the beauty that human life offered. he shouldn’t stand in the way of you achieving such things that most humans longed for.

still, akaza knew not why he kept the promise. he’d broken many a promise, vowing to meet many other human women once again only to never do so. whether it was because he did not intend to entangle himself in human affairs or if he was appalled by their weakness, he did not know. but just as he kept in touch with you, he began to question you, as a person

二

the year was 1629. half a decade after you first met akaza, you had come to notice how he never aged. while you never pried too much into what he was, you paid full mind to every single one of his words and its implications, searching for a metaphor or a deeper meaning into them. just as you knew not your age when you first met him, it seemed he did not know his, either. whether that was a lie or not was for you to ponder on. he claimed to be a thieving wanderer, and yet he never wandered too far from where you were. one night you had asked if you were perhaps holding him back, only for him to dismiss you, stating he did travelling during the day and returned during the night.

weekly visits to the temples told you that your companion was a demon. though he looked and acted nothing like the creatures which the temple so proudly believed in, you were sure you had become friends with some sort of supernatural being. was akaza a yokai? perhaps an ayakashi or mononoke? if he truly was the latter, then what had you done to conjure him?

you told nobody of him. he had warned you not to do so, and even without his wish to remain a secret, you never intended on making him known in the first place.

it was a story out of paper. unlike genji monogatari and the tale of princess kaguya, you had come to know a demon for years. and just as he was handsome on the outside, you found his heart mirror to his appearance.

“i find it hard to believe you are not betrothed yet.”

you looked at him, both brows raised in confusion.

“whatever do you mean?” you laughed.

“well, your father’s business has improved, has it not?” akaza picked a nearby flower, examining it.

you nodded slowly, “yes.”

he flicked the flower elsewhere, yellow and blue eyes glued to you. “have the noblemen lost their eyes, or are you lying to me?”

“i do not lie!” you laughed, all seriousness broken.

“ah, then there must be a plague that decomposes the eyes of noblemen,” he jested.

“well…” you looked at the ground, eyes fixed on the fresh green grass and colourful flowers lying strewn on the fields. “i am quite glad that i’ve not received a proposal yet.”

akaza blinked. “what?”

“i do not wish to rush into marriage,” you shrugged. “father’s hospital is quickly gaining recognition in edo, and soon i will have suitors.”

“is that such a horrible thing?” akaza tilted his head.

“i…” you paused. you trusted him, more than any other soul in the world. and with you almost of age, you had come to learn more about the world and the mind itself. a small thing tucked away in our heads, yet the power it held was astounding. you held your tongue.

“i cannot say,” you giggled.

akaza continued to stare at you, to which you avoided his scorching gaze by locking yours with the verdant foliage in front of you. the trees swayed gently in the breeze, the wisp of winter air bidding many of the woodland critters goodnight as they tucked themselves into their houses and slept for days.

“you lie,” he finally said.

you winced. “what makes you say that?”

“you aren’t looking me in the eyes,” he reached over, taking your chin in his hand as he tilted your head to his side, both your eyes locked with each other.

“and you normally always look at my eyes,” he continued.

you had no qualms of admitting your dishonesty.

“‘tis only because i find them beautiful,” you said lightly.

“is that so?” he smiled.

“were you unsightly, i would not bear to stand your presence,” you teased.

“you shallow girl,” he pinched your cheek playfully, and you flicked his forehead back.

“there is only you to blame for having such beautiful features,” you rolled your eyes.

“careful, y/n,” he grinned. “if i did not know better, i would think you are falling for me.”

“i apologise for what i am about to say, akaza-san, but my preference lies not in old men,” you stifled a laugh.

“oh?” he blinked. “and here i had prided myself in looking youthful,” he joked.

“mayhaps your eyes deceive yourself,” you sighed.

“‘tis alright. after all, my preference lies not in childlike girls,” he smirked.

“i-“ you widened your eyes, your hand on your chest. “i beg your pardon? i am anything but childlike!”

he hummed, “with that guileless attitude of yours, i would have a hard time believing otherwise.”

you puffed your cheeks. “you think too little of me, akaza-san. does the impression of me in my childhood days really taint your image of me?”

he drew in a surprised breath. “no! ‘twas a jest, y/n. i meant not what i said, for if i had, i would take no surprise in your unmarried state.”

“ah, your words wound me so,” you feigned hurt, drooping your shoulders and frowning. “is being unmarried all that undesirable?”

“the only thing undesirable for a woman this day and age would be to enter a loveless marriage,” akaza said, tucking a cherry blossom flower right behind your ear, his face close to yours. “and i would not want such a fate for you,” he said softly. your breath hitched, and you could feel your heart beat quicken its pace at the close proximity.

he seemed to take notice of your flustered state, as he withdrew from you ever so slightly, clearing his throat and plastering a familiar friendly grin on his face. “i’ve been meaning to ask you, y/n...” he started.

“do go on,” you bit the inside of your cheek, turning your head to the other side and fiddling with the flowers once again.

akaza’s thoughts were scattered inside his mind. he had one too many questions he wanted to ask. though he could declare with confidence that he knew you better than the back of his hand, he craved the answer to the burning question in his mind.

“never mind it,” he waved it off with a chuckle.

“no,” you looked at him with a teasing smirk. “do ask me, akaza-san.”

“do you really want to know?” he smiled mischievously, “what if it is one that a refined woman like you might be too esteemed to answer?”

you let out a laugh. “too esteemed? you’ve peaked my interest even more so. do ask me,” you smiled.

akaza picked a fallen cherry blossom. “is there any man in mind whom you wish to marry or court you?”

it was not the initial question he had wanted to ask.

“hmm...” you put a hand on your chin, appearing deep in thought. “nay.”

a game of liars; of course a young woman like you would have your heart stolen the moment you overheard other girls your age whispering about their dreams of marrying a handsome rich man who would treat them like nothing short of a princess.

but akaza need not know that.

“i’m quite surprised,” he chuckled breathily. “i had expected you to have many a man in mind.”

“ark, no!” you feigned disgust, “i have had no chance of deeply conversing with other men in such that it would stark a romantic interest; they are only after my dowry which has much increased after my father’s success,” you muttered.

“dowry?” akaza furrowed his brows. “if they are so wealthy, why the need for more money? what an alarming sense of greed those men possess.”

“all people want money in this world,” you chewed your bottom lip. “i am just fortunate a daimyo has not taken an interest to me. i cannot imagine entering the political world, much less becoming the servant of both a stranger and his parents,” you smiled wryly.

akaza frowned. what a truly depressing life to lead. as an upper moon demon, his days consisted of training, hunting food, and searching for the blue spider lily. on multiple occasions he would turn a human or two into demons with his lordship’s permission, but all of them had been men. he saw no need in turning weaklings into demons. although they would be stronger, he held both a prejudice of pity and contempt towards all other humans.

“how would you want to live?” he asked softly. you shrugged, fingers fumbling with the grass in internal frustration, not caring if dirt would cake your nails.

“what i want matters not,” you said pointedly, “if i were born a man i would have had a far wider range of opportunities in wait for me. but i am in the middle of society, and have only my outward appearance and limited education to lead me into a prosperous life. but what i truly want is...”

you swallowed thickly. no. every action would lead to a consequence. you could not risk doing anything rash without calculating all possible outcomes and benefits.

“i...i just want to be happy,” you cracked a smile. it wasn’t a complete lie, it only lacked the core reason you wanted for your wish to come true.

akaza knew you too well. “what would make you happy?” he asked.

you opened your mouth to speak, but the sound of incoming footsteps startled you, and in the blink of an eye, akaza had leapt into the trees.

“mama!” you gasped, quickly standing up and hurrying over to the incoming silhouette.

“my dear girl,” she heaved, placing her hands on her hips in a manner which you knew was the preparation for a scolding. “how many times must i remind you not to go thither into the woods at night? if your father suspects you to be off unchaperoned with a man, of all people, it will be the end of your freedom!” she glared at you.

“i did no such thing,” you pleaded. “mama, you know how i love nature’s gifts. the gods created us for a reason, and nothing the earth provides is for naught.”

“oh, you and your nonsensical ramblings,” she grumbled, “come now, it is time for dinner.”

“yes, mama,” you sighed.

as you gazed upon the luminous skies above, the moon full and bright that night, you wondered if there would come a time for you to break free of the confines of life.

三

1630. the year in which you had finally reached the ripe age of marriage. of course, there were married girls who were younger than you, but you were not the daughter of a shogun nor were you of important status in society, so compared to the wealthier, you weren’t expected to be wed off as quickly as they were. you had more time to relish in your freedom and life which you desperately clung onto.

but what you feared was what akaza had said a year prior, the fate of a loveless marriage. most marriages were calculated and controlled by the head of the two united families, namely the fathers of the bride and groom. marriage was seen more as an alliance and less of a romantic unity. whether or not both parties loved each other was of no concern, what each family strived for was a benefit from it, namely a higher social status, better financial security, or simply to appease all family members.

and from the tales of the city girls who dwelled in countless gossips and rumours of all kinds, you had come to learn that the promise of a loving and joyous future was nothing more than a tale written on paper for entertainment and a tool of fantasy for young women. you had heard enough accounts of women who entered a nightmarish marriage, wherein the husband would beat or abuse her, cheat on her, or only seek to acclaim her family’s money and social standing. not to mention, husbands were taught to put their parents and children as a priority, the wife nothing more than a breeding tool.

you wanted nothing of it. the older you grew, the more fear gripped your heart. always the clever child, you learned and studied your environment with full attention. you knew your future looked bleak if you were to sit and let the world kick you to the ground.

and during an especially uncomfortable dinner, you wanted nothing more than to flee into the night, questions of what you had done wrong in your past life fluttering in your mind.

“the daimyo is rumoured to be ill,” your father said, helping himself to another serving of rice. you put on a face of concern, gasping delicately as you placed a hand on your chest.

“my, that is ever so unfortunate,” you forced a voice of worry, “will you be treating him, papa?”

“i quite hope so,” he smiled. “it would do good for our hospital, and perhaps his son might even take a liking to you,” he looked at you.

“i’m afraid i would do no good as a politician’s wife,” you said carefully. anger your father and it would not end well for you.

“do not underestimate yourself so!” he laughed, “i heard his previous wife was a disgrace of a woman! surely, you can surpass her and be known in all of edo as one of the next daimyo’s fruitful wife!”

you did not want to finish your meal anymore. the daimyo’s son’s previous wife had taken her own life over her husband’s brutal mistreatment. unable to provide him a male heir, the poor woman was beat and assaulted relentlessly by the monster in a man’s skin, and although the daimyo himself had taken matters into his own hands to overshadow the matter, the ugly truth had always tainted the air of every conversation relating to his family.

“nonsense!” your mother exclaimed. “y/n would do much better as a normal nobleman’s wife! an elegant woman she shall be, clothed in the finest silk and having children as her only worry! she needn’t be burdened with the matters of men.”

“and what good would that do for her?” your father barked. “no good nobleman would wed her once she opens her mouth. dare i say, only a demon would want her as his bride!”

you visibly flinched, and you willed your hands not to tremble.

those pesky little brothers of yours took notice.

“y/n nee-san is going to marry a demon!” they shouted in unison.

“oh, shut it, you two!” you glared, “i am not marrying anyone!”

“y/n!” your father shouted. “you best be on your most courteous behaviour now that you are at an appropriate age to marry. tarnish the family name and i shall have you ostracised!”

you gave your father a cold stare, knowing fighting back would do no good. always stay silent and comply, and you would survive. “yes, papa. i will do all that i can to make you proud,” you forced a sweet smile.

it was not often that you met akaza after dinnertime. rather, it was more of a rare occurrence. you would usually spend the few hours after sundown together with him in the nearby fields where no other soul would intrude. with more financial stability and no more need to scavenge or steal food, you had less time to wander around freely, lest you wanted your father to lock you indoors in fear of you rendezvousing with a man while unmarried. so with every tick of a clock which you spent with akaza, you cherished it. you took to mentally recording conversations with him, even when it concerned the most mundane of topics. the man you assumed was not actually a human man was your only solace in the truly ugly world which you lived in. you were well aware that your parents would call you a naive little girl for having trusted him so easily after your first encounter as a child, but to you, he was a gift sent directly from the gods above. if you could have nothing in life, you had the gift of joy through him.

“why the tears?” he whispered, reaching out to wipe your eyes that held sadness in them.

“you are mistaken,” you sniffled, burying your face in the sleeve of your kimono to quickly rid the tears.

akaza tugged on the fabric, exposing the clear droplets which were left as darkened spots on your sleeve. “why do you weep, y/n? what has upset you so?” he asked.

“‘tis alright,” you sighed in defeat. “i have come to accept that the worst fate of all may be in store for me.”

“what?” he shook his head. “surely, you cannot mean that you are betrothed already?” he could not stop the worry seeping through his words. it comforted you. to know that someone deeply cared about you.

“nay, i am not,” you whispered. “however, father intents on selling me off as if i am cattle. i do not know who it will be, but he has his best interests set on the daimyo’s son,” your voice cracked just slightly, and another sob threatened to rack through your body.

“i cannot marry him, akaza-san. i musn’t,” your voice quivered. “i fear that if i do, he will drive me to madness.”

you felt a pair of arms wrap around you, and you leaned into the warmth, your hands gently grasping his pink haori as he stroked your back, your shaking body slowly easing into his embrace.

“do not cry, y/n,” he cooed, and you held him tighter, his heartbeat on your cheek. warm. he was so warm.

“everything will turn out in your favour,” he said.

“and how would you know?” you whimpered against him, wishing with all your might that he was right, that everything you ever wanted would come to fruition.

“have faith, y/n,” he said, “but worry not about the future at this present time; tonight i shall cater to you and make you joyous,” he wiped your tears, and you gently grasped his arm, the innermost longing and desire burning within you.

“if only it be true there was a sir like you whom i could marry,” you swallowed thickly.

akaza’s eyes widened for a moment, but he quickly composed himself. “are you saying you would like to marry me?” he gave a teasing smile, his heart fluttering when you averted your shocked eyes.

“nay! i meant not those implications!” you held yourself back from speaking too loudly even in a panicked state. your family was asleep in the rooms just beside you, the only means of separation being the thin shoji doors which could easily be parted. if they were to see akaza with you in your bedroom, only the worst would come.

“and what implications were you thinking of?” he smirked.

“nothing of the such, you filthy man!” you whispered loudly, face burning with embarrassment.

“i did not mean to baffle you,” he chuckled softly, patting your head affectionately.

“you forsooth did,” you huffed, pulling away and crossing your arms over your chest childishly.

“and for that, i apologise,” he took your hand in his and brought it to his lips, pressing a kiss on the back of your hand. your fingers trembled for a split second, and you dared not look him in the eye. such intimate acts were reserved only for married couples and those betrothed.

“if it be true you offer your most humble apologies, then i challenge you to win over my forgiveness,” you gave him a playful smile, and akaza smirked.

“might i take you to the lake, mayhaps?” he asked, and you gasped softly.

“you wouldn’t,” you whispered.

“is that a dare?” he tilted his head. “i could teach you to swim.”

you giggled softly, playfully hitting his arm lightly. “you jest.”

“do you take me for a cruel man?” he chuckled, “i promise nothing of intimacy whilst in the lake.”

“then lead me to the lake, and see to it that my remedies be washed along with the stream,” you smiled, and when he took you in his arms and leapt out your window, you said no protest as he carried you to the body of water, beautiful flowers afloat on its gushing waters as the waning moon overhead illuminated the scenery.

“‘tis quite quaint,” you said, fingers tracing the bark of a nearby tree. the woods were quiet, the air still.

“remove your shift,” akaza said, his haori and trousers discarded on the ground, only his fundoshi left on his person. if not for the light of the moon, you would have felt no shame in removing your chemise.

for years you had seen his bare chest, strong muscles chiselling his torso and shaping him as a fighter, his arms strong and warm whenever he touched you. yet at the moment, you could not stop the blood rushing to your face, a strange sensation tingling between your thighs.

wordlessly, you removed your yogi, wearing only a thin layer of your white haneri that still modestly covered most of your skin.

“that looks quite heavy,” he remarked, and you looked down.

“i suppose so,” you hummed, “but if i were to sink, you would save me, wouldn’t you?”

“aye,” he chuckled. “shall we enter the lake?”

“you may go first,” you giggled. “i fear the waters are crisp.”

“do not tell me you are weak against cold waters?” he mused.

“mayhaps you, akaza-san, are the weak one for not going in first?” you snickered. “what good sir needs a lady to help him enter a lake?”

“ah, you tease me so,” he sighed in defeat. “but if i must enter first and find the waters welcoming, see to it that you enter entirely nude,” he smirked.

“you improper man!” you laughed, flinging a small, broken branch in his direction.

“ah, but you are the improper lady for once again conjuring such shameful thoughts,” he chuckled.

“i was not!” you gasped. “if anything, you were the one who stated that nothing intimate would happen! i quite think being unclothed in front of a man would be considered intimate, would it not?”

“ah, i suppose you’re quite right,” he frowned playfully. “well, why don’t we leap into the waters at the same time?”

“touch me and i shall stick a talisman to your head,” you teased, standing next to him just before the alluring waters of the lake.

“i await your threat,” he smiled, and pushed you into the lake. you had no time to scream, the freezing waters swallowing you whole as you thrashed underneath the surface, eyes stinging as your haneri only served as an anchor to pull you deeper, and when you felt a pull at your arm and oxygen finally filling your lungs once again, you choked out the water that had gathered in your lungs.

“you vile beast!” you rasped, coughing as akaza gently patted your back, worry quickly replacing his previous smug smirk.

“y/n, i am sorry,” he said. “i did not know you would be awfully unprepared for this.”

you glared lightly at him. “might i remind you, akaza-san, i have never been plunged into a lake as deep as this.”

“you are right,” he sat you up, “and i apologise for what i did.”

you looked at him sullenly, part of you wanting to chastise him. you were shaking from the cold, your hair now drenched and fingertips close to rivalling ice.

akaza looked at you, inhaling sharply as your white haneri now clung to your skin as a result of being soaked, the fabric sticking to your skin and leaving little for the imagination. the buds of your nipples were hardened from the cold, and your shaking thighs were exposed. he willed himself to turn away from the display, shifting his sitting position so that you would not notice the growing arousal just beneath his thin fundoshi. he had to remove your wet clothing, while at the same time remain respectful and proper. it was the first time he had ever seen you in a mature light, and as his heart raced against his chest he forced himself to remember your first meeting. a child. yes, you were nothing more than a child to him. he should not be thinking of you in such an immoral way, even if your breasts were tempting him into such feelings.

but when you pressed your thighs together, even if it be from the cold, akaza only saw you as the young woman you were. no, you had grown far past the age where he had to dote on you and protect your innocence. you were fit for the night of a marriage bed, and he could only clench his fist in irritation at the sight of you biting your lower lip. of course it, too, was from the cold, but the plump muscle enticed him into brushing his thumb across your cold cheekbone, and over the seam of your mouth.

the unexpected act caused you to jolt, the coldness of the air and your skin in contrast to the warmth of his flesh. a treacherous warmth ignited inside you once again, the pool of sin hot and wicked in your belly. what was this feeling? was it lust? but it was an unlawful sin!

“you are cold,” akaza said softly, breaking the mesmerising spell. you blinked a few times, the exploration of lust stopping in a neurotic burst. shame plagued you, and you cast your eyes downwards, the metaphorical hellfire that nipped at your flesh having dissipated as quick as the drops of rain that the gods blessed the dirt with.

“aye, i am quite cold,” you winced upon hearing your broken voice, no louder than a whisper.

“let me warm you. cloak yourself in your yogi, and i shall start a fire. before your parents notice something amiss, i shall carry you homeward,” he tore his eyes and touch away from you in search of firewood.

you exhaled shakily, cold hands fumbling with your haneri as you peeled yourself away from the damp cloth, the cold air making direct contact with your fully nude body. you flinched as you peered down, the spot between your thighs wet with anticipation. breath hitching, you quickly dressed yourself in your yogi before akaza returned. you had awoken many times throughout the night to find that sinful spot wet, and your mother had told you it was normal. despite knowing it was part of nature’s play in your human body, you felt that it was somehow different. it was sinful, as well as shameful. it was a feeling reserved only for a man and his wife, yet you could not stop your eyes from glancing once every while at akaza’s lower half. hidden only behind a flimsy piece of cloth, you wondered what his secret parts looked like. the bulge in question looked to be quite large, and you hadn’t noticed your heavy breathing that left your chest in heaves as fire engulfed the wood, and you only closed your eyes when akaza sat beside you.

“i am never swimming with you after this,” you smiled softly.

“i expected as much,” he returned your smile, and you rested your head on his shoulder, pulling your yogi tighter around your cold self.

“i had a hunch we would not end up swimming, but not in this way,” you closed your eyes, the warmth of the fire lulling you into a deeper sense of peace, combined with akaza’s comforting warmth that encompassed you as he wrapped an arm around your body, pulling you closer to him.

“i shall teach you, one day,” he said.

“and at which hour will that be?” you hummed.

“one day,” he chuckled softly, and you laid your head on his lap, yogi wrapped tightly around you as he benignly caressed your features, before resting his hand on your clothed shoulder and began a slow slide ascending to the nape of your neck. you let out a shuddering breath, gooseflesh prickling your skin as you felt your nipples harden once again underneath the warmth of your yogi.

his hand stiffened against you, and you cracked open your eyes, looking at him questioningly. he smiled gently at you, giving your shoulder a tight squeeze. “‘tis late, y/n,” he said. “i shall take you home. remember at each moment that you may talk to me about anything, and that i shall do my best to protect you.”

“you are too kind,” you mumbled, eyes closing once again. “no king or queen deserves what you do.”

a light blush formed on his cheeks, thankful that you hadn’t turned to him to witness it. “anything for you.”

it was just like the first night he had met you. all those years ago, you were no older than the age of thirteen. a peasant striving for a better life in edo, making do with whatever you and your family had. stealing crops and leftover fabric, you were no better than the shunned beggars who sat to rot on the streets.

only now, you were much different compared to the little girl he spotted in the graveyard. to him, you were now a young woman with unrivalled beauty, and an inner mind like no other. to him, you were not weak anymore, not that you ever were in the first place, now that he had thought about it. no, it did not matter if you could not lift a sword on your own, or if you could not swing a kick powerful enough to strike injury. your form of strength was like no other, and it intrigued him so. with all the mishaps in your little life, you were still alive, the light in your eyes unsnuffed and youthful desire unfurling in your veins like mulled wine.

though he had watched you blossom into the very person you were, akaza felt a slight unease cloud his mind. he was no stranger to lust, no, he had felt the same burning desire for the oiran and beautiful women who walked under the moonlight. it was only natural for such needs to demand to be complied to, and he was not a man who shied away from such acts in mortification that they be deemed as taboo. what was part of a natural bodily function was nothing to be ashamed of. and he knew that, yet cursed himself for his eyes which lingered far too long on your breasts, the unsaid arousal inside of him almost dizzying as he restrained himself from touching more of your skin and searching for the most private, most shameful, part of your womanhood. would your knees buckle under his touch? would your body tense? would you buck against his fingers as he would make you squirm, his hot breath against your ear whilst he whispered words filled with sin?

akaza closed his eyes in irritation, veins prodding and visible on his visage. he radiated a mix of bloodlust and lust itself. he had just returned you home to where he knew you would be safe. from him? no, he dared not lay a finger on your delicate being. you were not fragile, he knew. but you were not stone, either. it was the first time in his years that he had ever conjured such a thought about you, of his body pressed against yours and the clenching muscles of your thighs desperate and wet for his manhood.

he opened his marked eyes, eager to pound away the mortal lust that clawed on his heart.

四

not a week later, and your father’s predictions had served to be true. the daimyo had fallen ill, and your father had been called to his estate in need for a quick treatment. along with your father, he took his five most trusted fellow doctors, as well as you. a doctor you certainly were not, but the man had opted to bring you for the purpose of the daimyo’s son laying his eyes on you. in short, you were brought along in hopes for a matchmaking under the strangest of circumstances.

you did not enter the daimyo’s room as your father and other doctors treated and checked on his well being. instead, you had been told to wait outside by the door, and you suspected it was because your father had turned you into potential eye candy for the daimyo’s son in case he were to visit his father’s quarters.

you sat still, fingers toying with a loose string of the sleeve of your kimono in boredom. it was the afternoon, and you hoped to arrive home in due time to meet akaza.

you sighed. lust was a sin, as was wrath and pride. akaza should have never even laid his eyes on your wet form, beholding you in a way no man had seen before, in a way that was reserved for only couples joined together in the union of marriage. and yet, there was something oddly exciting about the way you felt his gaze on your nearly-exposed breasts, the scent of freedom and sin both spicy and adventurous.

so this was the thrall of lust.

in your heart you feared that no man would want you no more if you were to explore such sins with akaza, but then again, you did not want to lay with any man other than him. if he should be willing to take the last of your chastity and virtues, you would allow him to do so. you felt the familiar sensation of white substance forming in between your legs, threatening to spill through your kimono as you attempted to stop your thoughts. why were you feeling such things? and why was it directed towards akaza?

“good eve, my lady.”

you sucked in a startled breath, whipping your head to the source of the voice. the daimyo’s son. you gave him a trained smile, cursing your father’s miraculous intuition.

“good eve, my lord,” you sat up straighter, hoping he did not notice the faraway look in your eyes as you previously pondered on fornication. “to what do i owe the pleasure of conversing with you?”

“can a sir not approach a lady whom he finds beautiful in his eyes?” the daimyo’s son chuckled. “stand,” said he.

you did as he bade, wincing as the muscles in your legs struggled after disuse for a period of time. when you stood tall before him, you noticed him better under the fading light of the sun. he was tall, taller than akaza. his features were roughened and the pair of eyes that stared at you made itself known that it could only belong to a killer of man.

“i had never bethought of courting a doctor’s daughter ere seeing you,” he took a step towards you, and you planted your feet on the ground, knowing not to step away from him nor speak unless spoken to.

“tell me, what is your name?” he asked.

“‘tis l/n y/n,” you replied.

“and has’t you ever been ever been courted?”

“nay, my lord,” you clasped your hands together, praying internally to whatever gods and ancestors would listen to your pleas. you did not want to marry him, lest be courted by the monster! your family was sure to be showered in fortune and fame, but you knew it would not end well for you. you cared not if it were selfish, you refused to put your parents’ joy before yours.

the daimyo’s son hummed, “i find you quite interesting.”

“i thank you,” you gave a small smile. your bravery was thinning, and you feared for the worst. the daimyo’s son had never been one to properly court his women; he chose whichever ones he found most beautiful for the purpose of bedding her.

“say, might you tell your father to speak with me once that gent is done treating mine? i have a proposition to ask of him,” he wrapped his hand lightly around your neck, fingers pressing against the nape of your neck. you bit your lower lip so as not to visibly grimace. his touch was not tender like akaza’s, instead it held a deeper darkness to it.

“i shall inform my father, my lord,” you held yourself from trembling, and his hand descended into the opening of your kimono, toying the opening as he smirked at you, fingers tracing your collarbone. you felt your mind scream at the danger, for the fear that he would tread southward to your chest.

he stopped, and eyed your neutral expression. pulling away, he let out a dark chuckle, “what an obedient girl.” and with that, he took his leave.

once left alone once again, you pressed your hand against the wooden pillar of the shoji, breath trembling as you clutched your kimono tightly, unease shrouding you in a mist of fear as you calmed your nerves. you had to stand strong. if the gods were on your side, you would find a way to escape the potential courting. you would not marry a monster of a man such as he. but you were smart, and you would not admit to your fears in an outright manner. in a man’s world, all you had to do was obey under the sun and cheat the laws from unseeing eyes.

come nightfall, you informed your father of the order from the daimyo’s son, and when you arrived home, your father was joyous to inform the rest of your family of your newest and most esteemed suitor. your mother boasted of you inheriting your beauty from her, and your father set off into the town to spread the news of his daughter’s politician suitor while he drank himself away into the night. your brothers could not care less; children were simple in that way.

“perchance you very much are good for something,” your mother said as you helped her clean up after the night’s meal. you frowned, knowing the praise you had received from both your parents would only be for a fleeting moment. you would do anything to break off the future engagement, and although it would leave them cross with you, their future disappointment with you would not sting as much as their materialistic compliments towards you for the time being.

“‘tis the blessings from the gods which i hadst come to reap,” you said simply, eyes glancing at the shoji doors. it was far too late for you to be outside on your own, and your parents would most likely take even more precautions with you. after all, they couldn’t afford to have anything happen to their prized cattle.

but if you played your cards right, you could still meet akaza before the wee hours of the night. though your family hadn’t noticed anything amiss regarding your previous nightly adventures, it was better not to feel too comfortable in taking risks.

you turned to your mother with a smile on your face, “mama, may i mayhaps visit the temple? the gods may smile upon more so if i give them our highest prayers of thanks.”

she raised a brow, “at this hour?”

“aye,” you answered, voice unwavering. “but there is never an hour too late to pray, is there not?”

she sighed, “my dear girl, i am not motley-minded. if it be true you must meet with the daimyo’s son, then wend. though i must tell you to come thither home ere the hour of rest.”

you breathed a sigh of relief, joy shining in your eyes as you clasped your mother’s hands in yours. “the gods ‘ild you, mama,” you smiled, and quickly left home.

you supposed it was better that your mother assumed you were out to meet the daimyo’s son. as you trudged through the snow-kissed grounds of the woods, you hoped to spot akaza. unpredictable in his own way, there was never a time in your life after you met him that ever led you to knowing what hour he would come to meet with you after dinnertime. you just knew it in your soul whenever he was around your prefecture. some people would call it intuition, but you saw it as a celestial bond by the gods themselves tied ‘round you and him. you saw no faults in being a secretly hopeless romantic. after all, he was the only one who wanted nothing of worldly value from you. to him, enjoying your presence was enough. and whether he was human or not, your heart belonged to him.

“akaza-san!” you called his name out once deep into the woods. your chest heaved from the mild exercise, and you wiped away a droplet of sweat that had formed on your brow. the life of a middle-class young woman never required you to run even the distance of a stone’s throw away.

for a moment, the world was still. the ground was covered in a shimmering, soft white, hushing and muffling all noise. though there was no noise to be heard, you could still feel the very faint presence of him.

“pray tell, did you miss me so terribly that you would seek me in this cold?”

you drew in a gasp, stumbling backwards from the shock as strong arms wrapped around you, a familiar chuckle vibrating against your back.

“akaza-san!” you hurriedly stood up straight, turning around to face him. “i didst not hear you approach!”

“there would beest no excitement to be had if you had noticed me,” he smiled, eyeing you from top to bottom.

you sighed, “you afeared me.”

“well, i am hither, am i not?” he flicked a speck of snow from your shoulder. “now, delight me in what has happened that you have tread into the woods in search of me.”

you furrowed your brows, lips pursed in a straight line. “the daimyo’s son has asked to court me.”

akaza’s eyes widened, teeth gritting in appallment.

“what?” he growled, and you looked at him incredulously.

“a-akaza-san,” you stammered, “‘tis alright, i shall have this conundrum resolved-”

“wast he not the man who abused his previous wives?” he clicked his tongue, disgust evident on his expression.

“aye,” you replied softly. “however-”

“y/n,” he grasped your hands, his grip tight on your smaller pair. “by my troth, i shall not allow you to marry such a man,” he held you tighter, and you stared wide-eyed at him.

“and marry him i wilt not,” you assured him gently, giving him a small smile. his pique softened, and he sighed, letting go of your hands. your fingers twitched in the empty air, missing his touch.

“whatever befalls, i shall protect you,” he said. “no mortal man deserves a lady as fine as you.”

such words had never tugged at your heartstrings. born for the sole purpose of elevating your family’s status and fortune, your parents had hoped for a firstborn son to lead the family and bring honour. as a daughter, they provided the most sparse of education you could receive, they had placed heavy scrutiny on your beauty and speaking skills in hopes you could one day marry a man of wealthy status.

it was such irony that an unearthly creature cared for you more than your family did. but you wrapped your arms around akaza, pulling him close and inhaling his scent of musk and flora. he reciprocated the embrace, bringing a hand to card through your hair, savouring how soft it was against his skin.

“you have been so good to me,” you murmured, tears of gratitude pricking your eyes. “why?”

he cupped your cheek, ethereal eyes meeting yours. he felt his tongue heavy in his mouth, hesitant to speak, to release the words he had been wanting to say for so long. had he felt this feeling much longer than he believed himself to? the heart knew better than the brain did, yet he could not bring himself to honesty.

“like a brother protect his kin, i do not wish to see you in downhearted,” he gave a stiff smile, and you stiffened in his hold. he noticed, but said not a word. lying to you left a distasteful feeling of wrong, but he knew it was not the right time to reveal his true feelings just yet.

“i see,” you chuckled wryly, no longer leaning into his touch as you slowly but surely inched away as though his skin scorched you.

guilt had started to eat away at him, and akaza tightened his hold around you. should you run into the arms of another man for comfort, he would be damned. “y/n,” he said, looking at you, who had turned yourself away from his eyes.

“y/n, speak to me,” he said.

you swallowed thickly, lungs burning as though frost had touched upon it, and a different type of dismay graced your tears. overturned by confusion and hurt, you took deep breaths to stabilise yourself and prevent your tears from flowing and betraying the feelings you had fought so long to hide.

“y/n,” he again said.

you could bear it no more.

“do you perchance view me as the same feeble child i was all those moons ago?” you hissed, a single tear escaping you. you made no effort in wiping it.

akaza stood, stunned. he had never been one to be read like an open book, and yet you had pried into the very thought that he had used as a shield to deflect his emotions. so many times he had told himself you were twice younger than him, that it was wrong for him to rob you of a normal life that you were born to lead. perhaps if you were born to a better family, you would have been happily married, never meeting him. perhaps if he had kept to his normal doings and had not returned to you as a friend for the following years, you would not have had eyes only for him, and would, by a slim margin, find love and comfort from the appropriate human men in edo.

there was no use in denying. the clever fox you were, he should have known he could never keep his heart anchored in the deep trenches of his being forever. “no,” he said. “i do not.”

your hands crumpled against the fabric of his haori, eyes still unmeeting his. “why?” you whispered. “i have grown. i have matured. i do not ask of you to…to lay with me, i only ask that you see me for who i am now,” you trembled slightly, trying your best to keep your falling tears at bay. “even the daimyo’s son is almost as old as my father. i know not of your age, or what you are, but i know with my heart that…”

foolish girl. what were you doing? were you so distraught that you had laid bare your feelings for the man you had pined for so long? more hot tears formed in your eyes, and your breathing rasped against the harsh draft of the season.

“never mind what i hath said,” you released his haori, taking a step backwards, and another. his hold around you laxed with no attempt to stop you, and as you turned your back and ran through the woods once more, sandals crunching the snow beneath, you cried out into the night, for what a witless child you were.

akaza was by no means an unintelligent demon. while it was true he was not as talented as his lordship in reading humans as though they were simple bamboo-bound books on a measly shelf, he had learned through time to tell the true emotions and thoughts of humans he had come to encounter, and sometimes, fight and kill.

your earlier display needed no words to further describe it. as he pummelled yet again another slayer into the ground, blood and brain matter staining his skin, he landed yet another bellowing strike against the last of the slayers who had come to take his head. how could he have lost hold on his emotions and let you go without anything else said from him? only the weak were overpowered by their emotions. he was not weak. he was strong, but he would be stronger. to protect you. perhaps you really didn’t deserve him if he was weak.

akaza prepared himself yet again for another fight. bloodlust surged through his veins, and as he looked to the east to see the first specks of sunlight dot the skies and horizon, he knew he had to end and take back what he strived for with no time to spare.

setting foot in the still-sleeping city of edo, he came to a winsome structure, its wood well-polished and entrances guarded, along with a dignifying crest on its roof to signify its owner’s insignia and power. to show strength.

akaza entered the house unnoticed. north was where the rooms were most notable, as it was never prey to the sun’s glares. sliding a beautifully painted shoji door open that portrayed koi fish in a pond, he scoffed to himself upon seeing a man carelessly asleep on his futon. he was not old enough to be plagued with sickness as you had said the daimyo himself to be, but the expensive furniture and the room itself being far away from any likely intrusions told akaza that he had found the bastardised room of the daimyo’s son.

he kicked the sleeping man harshly, sending him crying out in pain and shock from the rude wake, tumbling across the floors as he groaned, clutching his stomach.

“who is there?” the daimyo’s son barked, and akaza stomped on his hand, bone crunching beneath his foot as the man howled in pain.

“cease your wailing,” akaza said venomously, swinging another kick at the man’s knee until it bent backwards, his foot almost touching the crown of his head. he cried louder, eyes looking up in fear at the demon before him as akaza sneered at his fear.

“scum,” akaza grabbed him by the top of his yogi, veins of fury protruding in his muscles.

“what are you?” the man cried, flinching under akaza’s unforgiving glare.

“what i am matters not,” akaza threw him on the ground, revelling in the sounds of torment that the daimyo’s son screeched. “you are weak,” he continued, “and if not for my love towards another, i would have enjoyed dirtying my fists and painting this room red with your innards. however, that would bring shame unto the object of my affections, so consider yourself blessed with luck,” he kneeled next to the daimyo’s son, flashing him a wicked smile before he dug his fingers into the socket of his right eye, blue-tipped digits carving out the squelch of his eyeball as he screamed in agony once again. akaza smirked, pulling out his eyeball out of its socket, playfully tugging on the sinewy tendrils of the optic nerves as his victim vomited out bile.

“you dirtied the floor,” akaza chuckled, twirling the fleshy muscle in his hand. severing the connection between the eyeball and its socket completely, he held it up to the remaining functioning eye that belonged to the terrified mess of a man.

“an eye for an eye,” he smiled. “do not speak to l/n y/n for the remainder of your days, and i shall spare your life. tell a soul about me, or her, and i shall slaughter your entire family as well as you. do you understand?” he dragged the last question out in syllables, mocking the daimyo’s son as the man continued to cry, paralysed from the shock and fear.

“answer me, you distemperate daw,” akaza plunged his fingers into the man’s empty socket, wriggling his tips against the bony arch and clawing blood from what seemed to be the contains of his skull, and when blood dribbled down from the man’s eye to his sinus, exiting in globbery riverettes, akaza laughed once again as the man clawed against the floor, body twisting in pain.

“i understand! i beg of you, spare me!” he cried, and akaza pulled his vitiated fingers out, repulsed by the man’s blood and brain matter caking the underside of his nails. no matter, he would wash off in a nearby stream soon.

“good,” akaza stood, crushing the eyeball in the palm of his hand, a sickening sound emitting from it. “fare you well, weakling,” he chuckled darkly, and took his leave by the window, bloodlust gone and replaced with the feeling of exhilaration as he thought of you.

that night for certain, he would have you as his.

五

word was abuzz within edo about the horrifically gruesome mutilation done to the daimyo’s son in the midst of the night. the moment you awoke, your father and mother had told you not to leave the house, for the streets were full of gossip that you had accursed the daimyo’s son in order to flee the arrangement just hours after being officially courted. when your family had told you of the news in the early morn, you were mortified to hear what had been done to the daimyo’s son, even though a small part of you was thankful that you were now free of the confines of the courtship.

thankfully, your family did not accuse you of any acts of witchcraft or blasphemy, and your mother had only asked you in private on what had happened the previous night when you had ‘met’ with the daimyo’s son. you had told her that it was nothing more than a private visit in light of the affair, and that although the two of you weren’t chaperoned, nothing of impropriety had taken place. it was a devastating loss for your family to take the blunt of accusations regarding being connected to supernaturals or demons, and it only fuelled the sickening thought in your mind that you knew was true.

akaza had mutilated the daimyo’s son.

“have you heard the rumour? the daimyo’s son was found bloodied in his sleeping chambers! his stomach wast bruised, his leg bended at an odd angle, and i hear his eye wast plucked crisp off its socket!”

“fie! what dreadful sorrow! methinks it must be the work of the doctor’s daughter! do you bethink the lady hath called a demon upon that gent?”

“alack! if it be true you wenches has’t come to bubble gossip of the air, then out with you!” your mother scolded. you sighed as you watched her chase the city girls away from the gates of your home. your mother may have raised you to sell you off, but she was still much more loving than your father, who closed the hospital for the day and drank himself away in his room, being the pathetic man he always was. you had no doubt in your mind it was certainly akaza who was the culprit. even without the mockery of demons being spoken by the townspeople, nobody else would harm or threaten the daimyo’s son in your stead other than him.

you frowned to yourself as you laid on your unmade bed once again. the memories of the night before would not simply wash away like the droplets of the sea, where one could never touch the same part of the ocean they previously did. as if to add salt onto the wound for further insult, he had let you go right after the spur of your thoughts said aloud, and had made it quite clear he did not return your feelings. and akaza always spoke his mind.

so then why had he brought the daimyo’s son to the brink of death and insanity?

you could only wonder. was it his bizarre way of apologising? was it just for sport that his kind deemed as entertainment? was it a last act of ‘protecting’ you before taking his permanent leave, never to see you again?

you winced at the last thought, curling into your futon as you closed your eyes tightly. no, it couldn’t be true. he wouldn’t leave, would he? even if your love for him was unrequited, he had known you long enough to not break your heart in the most devastating of ways. even if he wasn’t human, he had human minds and thoughts.

you opened your eyes, biting your lower lip as a hopeful thought ingrained itself into you. what if…he would return by nightfall? you smiled sheepishly at the thought. perhaps you were to blame, too, for startling him with your display of emotions. though he could have handled it better, you chose not to place any blame on him. if he had told you he was in love with you, you were sure your soul itself would have ascended to the gods.

you blushed furiously, burying your face into your pillow as you stifled a scream. why were you dearly hoping for a love to blossom between you and him? your life and social standing was in tatters, yet you only saw it as a mild inconvenience. what mattered most to you was your relationship with akaza, even if he would not return your feelings. he was all you had in the world. you prayed the gods would not take him away from you or you from him, and smiled softly to yourself as you hoped for the better.

the shoji doors to your room parted, and you turned your head in the direction.

“y/n nee-san,” your younger twin brothers said in unison, “is it true a demon killed your betrothed?”

you sat up quickly, looking at them in disbelief. “gods a’ mercy! do you forsooth believe such childish rumours?”

“papa said you would bring ruin unto the family!” one of your brothers whined, “tell us, in good sooth, that what he sayeth is untrue!”

“‘tis untrue!” you scowled, “i vouchsafe that no demon did lay a finger on any hair of the daimyo’s son!”

“but are you truly marrying a demon?” your other brother frowned, “last time papa hath said that only a demon would want to marry you.”

you sighed. “the lot of you are tiresome. such beings do not exist. if it be true i were to marry such a creature, then i wouldst disappear ere dawn,” you laid onto the bed once more, “now off with you!”

“b-but, papa told us that you wouldst be taking care of us for the present day!” they pouted.

“come again?” you glanced over at them, “my hearing must be impaired.”

“papa and mama are going to the temple! they told us that you wouldst cook dinner and take care of us!” they looked at you expectantly, and you bit back a frown. your brothers weren’t particularly horrid, just young and irked you often. if your parents were ticked off with you for the time being, the least you could do was have your siblings in your favour.

“bid me at which hour you are filled with pangs of hunger, and i shall prepareth food,” you forced a smile, and their eyes lit up.

“we shall!” they giggled, finally closing the shoji doors.

once alone with your thoughts once again, you felt your home life and situation in edo plummet leagues under the sea. your parents were most likely visiting the temple with the assumption you were under a dark magic or heavy sin, or perhaps being punished by the gods themselves, and had come to appeal for your sins. was falling in love with a demon such a sin?

you no longer wanted to stay and live the life you were made to fulfil. your purpose lay not in becoming a breeding mare for some wealthy man. you were not meant to stay in the city of edo forever, nor were you meant to tread the same grounds others did. you were not special in any way, but the gods had gifted you something not many could have. and perhaps, just maybe, if the opportunity was handed to you on a silver platter…you would reject your humanity.

abiding by your brothers’ wishes for food, you dished out a simple meal, one that was your favourite. ignoring their complaints for a more extravagant feast just like your mother always made, you thanked the gods for the food, and ate up.

hours had ticked by, and when there was neither sign of your parents nor akaza, you began to fear the worst. that you would be either ostracised, sold to a brothel, or left by…him. you had gone through the excruciating task of convincing your brothers to sleep in the guest room, claiming it to be more adventurous than the sleeping chambers they knew well, all in hopes of meeting akaza. but the whey-faced full moon that shone overhead indicated that it was late, and your hope was slowly diminishing.

“y/n.”

your breath hitched, body stiffening as your eyes widened. you hadn’t turned around, but you knew exactly who it was behind the screen of your shoji.

“akaza-san,” you said.

you heard the shoji slide open, and footsteps entering your room, old floorboards creaking under his weight. the doors slid closed, and you looked down at your hands, trying to distract yourself from nervousness. you weren’t sure whether or not akaza was aware of the implications behind his actions, but when you heard him sit behind you, you clenched your yogi.

“you needeth not refer to me with such formality,” he said softly, “we has’t known each other for long, has’t we not?”

you swallowed thickly, “aye, ever since i was a child.”

he frowned. “i meant not in such a way.”

you said nothing, your arms aching to wrap around his figure. his voice was ever so soothing, and his touch a flame in contrast to the cold retribution of winter.

“are you still aggrieved with me?” he placed a hand on the hem of your yogi, a small step. you knew he was treading carefully, afraid you would completely turn from him or have your anger provoked yet again. you wanted none of it, you wanted him already.

but you held yourself.

“nay,” you replied. you wanted to see him, touch his face, tread your fingers along the marks of his chest and arms, press kisses along his lined visage, just touch him.

“then why must you turn hence from me so?” his hand ascended to hold onto your arm lightly.

“i knoweth not of your feelings, doth i?” you narrowed your eyes to your side as far as you could, but you still could not see him.

he moved closer to you, hand wrapping around your front as the other took your hand in his. “then i shalt give you mine own honesty, and every word i speak is sooth,” he said, and you intertwined your fingers with his, shivering from the feeling of his hot breath against your ear. “my dear y/n,” he murmured, hand treading across the folds of your kimono, just ghosting over your breasts as he rested it on your collarbone, gooseflesh prickling your skin from his seductive touch. “i have loved you…” he tilted your chin towards him, teary eyes meeting his pair of yellow and blue.

“for so long…” he kissed your lips with no hesitation, and you moaned softly at the surprise, the feeling of benign tenderness, as he pulled you closer against his chest, kissing you with fervent passion, your lips moulding perfectly against his as his tongue pressed against your own, the feeling of his hot muscle dominating your oral senses making you squirm as you let out a soft whine in exploration of the new feeling.

he pulled away to let you breathe, a thin strand of saliva connecting the both of you together. the same familiar ache in your nether regions ignited once again, and you rubbed your thighs together, feeling the wetness of your quim.

akaza drew in a controlled breath, and when you looked into his eyes you saw his mirrored feelings of lust in his engraved pupils, the feeling of his clothed cock pressed against your back making you grind slightly against the sheets of your futon, and you could not help the clenching of the muscles of your thighs as you tried to chase the strange feeling between your legs, feeling yourself dampen the cloth. he moved his hand to your upper thigh, dangerously close to your sweetest spot.

“akaza-san…” you whispered, legs parting by nature as he kissed your jaw, trembling lightly as his hand slipped just under the tender flesh of your belly, your haneri rucked up on your thighs and cunt exposed to the cold air.

“sayeth my name and that aone,” he nibbled on the flesh of your neck, sharp fangs pricking and breaking the delicacy, and you gasped as he licked up the small wound, feeling him moan in delight at the taste of your blood.

“akaza…” you let out a shuddering sigh as he stripped you of your nightwear, the fabric of your haneri sliding off of your shoulders and landing on the futon. you were finally exposed to him, every blemish and imperfection, for him to see with his eyes. for him to adore.

“lie on your back,” he purred, and you did as you were bade, chest rising and falling with every breath you took, ecstatic lust working its way through your veins as his eyes roamed your nude form, in the way only a husband ought to behold his wife in. but you no longer cared that you were unmarried, you wantonly leaned into his touches as he explored you, rough, strong hands caressing the mounds of your breasts as your nipples tightened under the contact, and his fingers tweaked on your sensitive buds, a smirk on his lips as you bit your bottom lip, hands entangled with your sheets as you writhed.

“you are a goddess,” he said in a low, mesmerising tone, and you looked up at him, pulling him closer to you as he kissed you again, overwhelmed by the sensation of his fingers trailing lower and lower, until they found the spot between your thighs, your thighs bucking shamefully at the touch.

he chuckled softly at the moan he drew out from you, and he delved his fingers between your slick folds, parting the sensitive lips and swirling your wetness around, rubbing your cunt in an agonisingly slow pace.

“do you like being touched?” the rough pad of his fingers brushed against your clitoris, and you whined, grasping onto him as you snuck a glance below, the sinful sight of his ministrations tightening the pressure in your belly.

“yes,” you moaned, “m-more…”

“you’re so beautiful when you beg,” akaza pushed a finger inside you, stretching you as he thrusted it in and out of you, and you gasped at the intrusion, looking at him with widened eyes as he added a second finger into you, stroking the delicate lining of your womanhood with precision in mind, massaging the delicate spot with each brushing thrust.

“but in sooth, you are always beautiful,” he momentarily pulled away, setting himself between your thighs, his fingers never leaving your cunt. uncontrolled moans continued to spill from your lips, and when he let out a low growl as his lips wrapped around your clitoris, swollen with desire, you mewled and bucked your hips further against his face as he lapped and suckled on your most sensitive nub, the pressure inside you catching fire as he continued to touch and uncover your most sinful places.

“a-akaza!” you thrashed, fingers lowering to lightly tug at his hair.

“what is it, love?” he purred against your sensitive cunt.

“s-something! something is coming! i…” you didn’t know what was coming, but lustful shame flushed your cheeks further as your toes curled, and you felt your muscles tense up and tighten further around him.

laughter rumbled against your heated cunt as he unlatched himself from your centre, pulling away from you entirely. you whined at the loss, hips grinding onto the open air in futile attempt for the lost stimulation.

he took your hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. “forgive me for this cruelty, y/n,” he muttered against your skin, eyes trained dangerously on you. “but i want to see you come undone when we are one in flesh,” he licked his fingers coated with your essence, eyes never leaving yours as your breath hitched at the filthily enticing display. “and one in heart,” he purred.

“take me,” you whispered, and watched in anticipation as he discarded his own clothing, the sight of his length, already hard as iron, making you shiver in need.

“and take you i shall,” he parted your legs further, and when the head of his cock pressed against your entrance, you dug your nails into his back, crying out softly as he entered you, taking your chastity and binding you together. you were finally one with him.

your breathing was erratic, mind panicking as his large length stretched your vigin walls and you shuddered in both pain and pleasure, muscles going slack in his grip as akaza groaned against you, gritting his teeth until he was fully sheathed inside of you.

it was as if the gods had sculpted you specially for him. as he started with slow and gentle thrusts, your body quickly accommodated to his size, taking in and clenching around his cock with a profane need, your mind almost instantly lost within the pleasure of a sacred union. with every thrust, you felt the small bulge protruding from your stomach push the head of his cock against your sweetest spot, against your womb which you desired him to fill, the sinful sight rising and falling as he whispered sweet nothings into your ear, your teary eyes admiring his unkempt and lustful eyes as he continued to rut into you, testicles slapping against your rear and the orchestra of fornication loud in the quietness of the room, every slick and squelch from the joining of your bodies only igniting the hellfire that kissed your skin and soul.

you knew not how long time had passed, but every nerve and spot akaza hit and ground only fed into the furnace of the tightening coil, threatening to finally spill as your breathing matched his in a rough, exalting pace. the pleasure grew and grew once more, and when he roared your name, his seed spilling into your womb, the sinful coil that had mounted within you snapped, your screams of pleasure unheard by your ears as you felt your body burn in ecstasy, stars catching in your vision as you came undone on his cock, greedily milking him as he caught your lips in his, moans muffled as your breathing slowly ceased, heart still racing as you revelled in the aftermath of becoming one with the man you loved.

“i meant what i hath said,” he kissed your cheek, admiring the messy beauty in your eyes.

“i do, too,” you whispered, holding his hand tightly. you stared dreamily into the very glass-like eyes you had peered upon so many times in your life, those numbered pupils that you had secretly dreamed of seeing full of love, just for you.

“will you come with me?” he smiled, pinching your nipple, and you shivered.

“yes,” you pecked his lips. “i shall follow you wherever you wend, even unto the ends of this earth.”

“and i forswear my heart has’t never loved until tonight; like the stars above, i wilt love you until i die.”

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“sɪʟᴋ ‘ɴ sᴀᴛɪɴ sʜᴇᴇᴛs” — ryomen sukuna

cw: incest. sukuna’s true form. breeding. pregnancy. nsfw. double penetration in one hole (sukuna has two cocks.) mentions of violence and death but not graphic. corruption but not really. smallest pinch of angst if you squint.

sukuna-nii who believes his pure little sister is all he needs—the only girl who deserves him.

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Crazy idea but ya know three things to consider:

the samurai only protected the wealthy Land-owners

the rich focused and being rich and beauty of art during heain period.

no one really cared about the commoners. (They paraded the beheaded head of the commoners, sacrificing was a practice, and it was easy to die when they lacked basic needs tbh.)

What if the jujutsu sorcerers also prioritized the rich while the commoners were left to die? Sukuna, though being a sorcerer himself, hated sorcerers. Was he a commoner? Did he dislike the jujutsu system?

WHO KILLED A CURSE USER WITHOUT USING CURSED ENERGY TO KILL THEM? HOW DID HE BECOME THE KING OF CURSES?

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HANABI | AKAZA

I pulled out my manga for this yall better be thankful

HANABI

Nights between (Y/N) and Akaza were peaceful. Despite how exciting a forbidden relationship might sound between two people, sneaking out every night and skipping through missions seemed more troubling sometimes more than anything.

Anything that had anything to do with secrecy was usually illegal inside the Demon Slayer Corps, especially with any kind of demons. The intimate relationship between Akaza and (Y/N) was sketchy to say the least, sneaking out at night for midnight kisses or words of longing. (Y/N) already came from a family that had been completely slaughtered by the likes of demons, she killed them for a literal job. Not to mention it was upper moon three. It crossed her mind more than she could count that Akaza could be using her. A part of her didn’t care.

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