Secrets And Candor

Secrets and Candor

Chapter 2 : Emerging Love

Pairing: Laindrin Sedai x Reader

Word Count: about 1400

Warning: none, really

Summary: You're helping Laindrin's son and realise some things Chapter 3

(Also made a playlist for Liandrin)

A/n: Hope you liked the first Chapter, here's the second one. There'll be one more!!

■----------------------------------------■

You were in the middle of getting dressed when someone knocked. You turned to the door and bid her in. Liandrin hesitantly stepped in, it nearly seemed like she was unsure of herself. Of how to act.

"Could you help me? I'll just need the corset tied and then I'm ready." You asked and turned your back to her. You heard her slowly approach and without a word she tied your corset and stepped back again.

When you turned around you looked at her properly. She was in her usual red attire, red dress with a dark corset. Her lipstick was darker than usual, her hair even stricter than other days. It felt harder, like a defence mechanism, to hide vulnerability and seem stronger.

"Lead the way." You gently said and smiled, as you realised that she didn't move a bit and just stared at you. Your words seemed to have pulled her back to reality, her features hardened, her eyes grew colder and she turned to leave the room. You followed.

You walked in complete silence. Liandrin walked fast and didn't once turn to look for you. It felt like she wanted you to loose her, but you kept up with her and never lost sight of her.

The streets were still empty, most shops were still closed and little people seemed to even be awake. It was apparent why Liandrin had chosen this time to visit her son.

Just around the corner of her sons room she stopped walking so abruptly you nearly walked right into her. She turned around sharply and stared at you. Her eyes were threatening you more than words ever could have and yet you saw fear in them. She still didn't really trust you.

"It's okay, Liandrin. I know." You simply said and nodded slightly. And it was the truth, you knew her fear and her vulnerabilities but also all the threats on the tip of her tongue, all the insults and the rage.

You slowly pushed past her and approached the door. Just as you wanted to open the door she was next to you and slapped your hand away from the door handle. You looked up at her surprised.

Wordless she opened the door and entered first. It was incredibly fascinating to see her whole demeanour shift. Her features softened, her whole body sank a little. She looked less proud, less cold.

She approached the bed and gently sat down on the side of it, just like she had the first time you had seen her here. She took her sons hand in hers and stroked it.

"Hello, my love. Wake up, my darling. I'm sorry I didn't come for so long. I brought someone with me. She wants to help you, ease the pain a bit. I'm so sorry I didn't do this before, I didn't want to leave you in pain. I'm sorry." Her voice cracked slightly at the last words, you didn't comment on it. You didn't say anything, just patiently waited by the door. Her gentleness and tender care for him amazed you, never before had to seen this side of her.

She stood up and came over to you. She stood beside you but didn't look at you.

"Be quick about it." She said, voice harder again. But by far not as cold as usual. You nodded and stepped to the bed. His hand was spasming again and you wished to reach for it, but didn't dare to. Afraid that Liandrin would immediately throw you out.

You closed your eyes and reached out, your hands hanging in the air above him. You concentrated and felt the source, felt the power run through you, felt the weaves building around you. You opened your eyes again and watched the weaves weave around the man and do their work. You concentrated them mostly on his heart, because that was where he had the most pain.

It only took a couple of minutes and as you were finished the effect was immediately apparent. He relaxed into the bed and his hand stopped spasming. His features stoftened. You turned to look at Liandrin, smiling gently. You opened your mouth to say something, but she was faster.

"Leave." Her tone was hard, cold. But her eyes were fixated on her son. You wanted to stay, be there for her. Something inside you screamed at you to talk back. Everything in you felt a need to comfort her, be close to her. You nodded and left her alone with her son.

Without ever talking about it a routine had settled. Every week, the same day, the same time -always at dawn- she came to your room and together you visited her son. She never left you alone with him, always observing you, looking over your shoulder like she feared you'd hurt him if did ad much as blink.

You would ease his pain and the second you were finished she would throw you out. Though week by week, she let you stay a little longer. Not much, just mere seconds, but she seemed to accept your presence more and more. Her son seemed much more relaxed and, though you didn't know for sure, you were sure Liandrin did as well.

Week after week you observed more and more of her time alone with her son. Where she had sent you out immediately the first time, she send you out when she had already approached the bed in later weeks. Though always with the same hard and icy tone. Out of her mouth it almost sounded like you had insulted her, not helped her.

You had finished weaving and Liandrin approached the bed, she gently sat down again and leaned closer to her son, taking his hand. She hadn't ordered you to leave yet, so you took that opportunity and stayed. Silently standing next to the bed.

"My darling..." She whispered and smiled. You weren't sure if you had ever seen her genuinely smile. It immediately made you smile as well, your heart fluttering. You realised you always wanted to make her smile. You wanted to be the reason for her happiness. As the realisation settled in your mind, Liandrin looked up and scoffed.

"Why are you still standing there? Haven't you learned by now to leave?" She nearly spit the words out. You were pulled out of your thoughts and opened your mouth to say something but thought better of it. You turned on your heel and left.

The next week, everything went by as usual. Liandrin was outside your room at dawn, you walked in silence, she entered the room and talked to her son very quickly. You channelled to ease his pain and stepped back as you were finished. She sat down on the bed and took his hand. You turned to leave, not wanting to upset her again like the week before. But before you could leave the room she spoke up.

"Stay." You felt a spark inside of you and tried to hide a smile. Slowly you turned around again and looked at her patiently for an explanation. Her eyes were fixated on her son, and she didn't look up even as she spoke.

"Why? Why do you do this?" The question surprised you. You could hear that she had tried to sound like her usual confident and icy self but failed miserably. Her voice was thinner than usual and she sounded vulnerable. You wanted to step closer again but she ordered you to stay back. Her voice having regained some of its coldness. So you stayed back.

"Liandrin, I'm part of the yellow ajah for a reason. I have always wanted to be a healer, help people..." you wanted to hide the actual reason you were doing this. The reason that had always been there since the beginning but had just grown over the weeks. But Liandrin interrupted you sharply.

"Cut the shit. Why do you do this?" Her voice cut sharply through the previous gentleness. You sighed.

"I'm not sure you're ready for that conversation." Was your simple answer, and it actually made her look up. Her eyes widened and she looked nearly offended. No one ever dared to talk to her like that. You could see she wanted to say something but you didn't give her a chance. You left without another word. She looked after you and kept her eyes on the empty spot where you had stood just mere seconds ago for quiet some time after you had left. Her eyes filled with deep betrayal.

Outside the building you leaned against a wall and took a deep, shaky breath. It was a dangerous game the two of you were playing.

hiya, i wanted to ask if you write for liandrin? if yes, is there any chance you can please do a smut with her? maybe something like hate sex, where they fight for dominance at the beginning but liandrin uses her magic and pins fem reader fully down?

She was so annoying. Always lurking. Complaining about Moiraine. She was hardly around, as always, but she was all Liandrin could talk about. You were just a servant. You didn't have the Spark it took to become an Aes Sedai, or to channel at all. It was fine. You were fine. But madly in love with Liandrin. She had all the strength and none of the secrecy Moiraine preferred.

She went on wild adventures and stopped evil in its tracks before it could attack your shared home. Even still, she sometimes stayed home long enough to tell you about it all. You felt like her Warder, though you had none of the skill and Liandrin would take it as an insult that she might need one. You felt like the one person she could trust. So when she returned from dinner, retelling a story you'd heard at her dinner table, you couldn't take it anymore. Gathering her train as you always did when she wore a gown which had one, you followed Liandrin through the halls. Once in her room, you were her dutiful servant, undressing her and listening to her incessant babbling. As her wrists were bound in the clothing, all of her vulnerable for half a second during her day, you seized the sleeves and spun her to face you. Liandrin exploded with your name. 

You tied her sleeves together in a sorry excuse of a knot, but it kept her occupied while you snuck your lips against hers. "Shut up," you ordered your Sedai, pulling the rest of her dress down. "About Moiraine." You pulled back, holding her face in firm palms. "Look at me! Me. I'm here. You want to spill your secrets, be close with someone? Look at me," you begged. "Please." 

Liandrin stared back at you like you had three heads. Her stark blue eyes bored into you, but she didn't see you. Not like she always had. Now she was looking at you, into you. 

You saw emotions, but you couldn't decipher them. And you didn't have the patience to wait for her to. You didn't dare overstep, didn't push boundaries, but you held her shoulders and you peppered her face with kisses. You were begging, pleading with your whole soul for this woman to look at you in the same light she did Moiraine. Maybe, for a second, she could see the brunette wasn't all that. The blonde was your sun. 

She was short tempered but strong. A dangerous combination, but Liandrin wielded it well. She settled into the moment and returned to herself in a moment. 

You gulped, feeling the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. 

It whipped you up and away from Liandrin. You landed on her bed and felt leaden in your bones. Fully awake, yet your body was as inclined to move as it would be when you first awoke. You struggled against the paralysis, but secretly reveled in the turn. Your heart had stopped when you'd been flung, as you'd feared the woman was rejecting you and sending you out the door, or worse a window. Now, you saw the nearly stripped Aes Sedai saunter towards you. Her half pinned up hair swayed with every step, held away from her back by the raised chin she used to show she commanded the room: you. "Oh, I've seen you." Her calculating eyes searched your still dressed frame, slowly untying the ribbon around your waist. You were lifted up into the air by this odd power and you couldn't help but get wetter at your helplessness. You were slowly undressed, slowly revealing yourself to her eager eyes. Her thin bottom lip was caught between her white teeth, pulled so you swore you could see into her mouth. You let out a groan and those accusing eyes sought you out. "Skulking about worse than Moiraine."

You held back a growl at the mention of her sister, of whom she was obsessed. 

"I had to pick up the habit just to catch you off guard." She stepped right up beside you, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. "Though, I suppose, I could have just undone your clothes. Would you have fallen at my feet?" One hand trailed just over your nude flesh, then down it.

You swallowed again. "Had you requested it," you retorted with attitude. 

Liandrin let you back onto the mattress, crawling atop you. You were still unable to move any of your limbs, but the blonde didn't let you focus on that. She forced your eyes shut by tugging on your nipples, watching how you couldn't react. She was tickled at the control she had. She never had control. Yes, in the world, among her lessers, her prey, of course she was the victor. Here, in the Tower, she was just another Sister. They were all trained to have that be their only want, but Liandrin couldn't resist the spark she got when you averted your eyes with a blush. "Did you think you could hide it?" She flicked her hair over her shoulder, lording down at you. She positioned herself perfectly with one of her legs over one of yours. Each of you straddled a thigh. "Seven years as my personal servant, learning the curtsy, no social life to call your own." The almost naked Red started rocking against your leg, stiff as her Power still manipulated you. Her  hands trailed down your abdomen, nails scratching beneath your naval. "So eager to please me, always there when I call. I saw you. Every part." The days you thought you couldn't handle working at the Tower, she'd been there for you just as you had supported her on her worst days. The blonde nudged your useless knees apart not that her Power couldn't do that for her. Her blonde locks tickled your collarbones, your stomach. Two firm fingers sunk into you. 

Your back arched at the maddening pace she set. As low moan bubbled over your lips as hers wrapped around your nipple. Her hair splayed all over your upper half. It was a mind-bending opposition. She was so soft but she was so rough. Your eyes rolled back as she curled her fingers. 

Liandrin tweaked your untouched breast, raising up to look down at you. "It was very sweet, you thought I needed that push. I've been waiting for you for years. " Slowly, her hardened features neared your face. She let all of her walls drop and she kissed you. First, she was sweet, like coming home from war to a wife who had waited as long as Liandrin had, apparently. . Then, it heated up. Liadrin began  to drown you. She pressed her lips hard enough they might've come away with some of yours. She did it like it was her last chance. Her fingers pumped yourself so full of her you drowned her fingers. A slow smirk split Liandrin's features with victory. . She petted your hair and face, slowly straddling you. Liandrin soothed your aches with  her battlefield healing and soft fingers, crawling up your pinned form. "My turn," the confident woman on top goaded. You felt your tongue become your own again and discovered why as the naked Red hovered over your face. 

How to get to know your characters better?

(feel free to add your own thoughts to this list, hope it helps!) req by @miricalebabyy44 <3

what will your character be like if they were in your shoes?

is your oc the mom friend or the dad or the childish one in their friendgroup ?

do those "poet, king, soldier" quiz for your oc. im being fr

do the "36 questions to fall in love" quiz as your oc.

ik your ocs trauma have an impact on their character, but how would they be like, if they hadn't gone through that experience?

does your oc have similar tastes as you do? (music, art, fashion, coffee/tea etctetc)

will they "i only live once so I'll do it for the plot." or will they "i only live once ffs, i don't wanna die." ?

what is your ocs opinion of love? how is/was their love life on a scale of 1-10?

will your oc let go of someone precious to them when they know they're putting them at danger?

around whom does your oc lets their guard down?

are they romantically constipated or a hopeless romantic?

what type of music does ur oc like?

write a lot about your oc if you're struggling to get to know them. find a drabble prompt, and write what they'd do.

do they trust others easily or do they get trusted by others easily?

what is something your oc will never talk to anyone about? (their answer can be deep, like some emo trauma or like smthng like back when they shit their pants or smthng yk)

do they give off golden retriever energy, or a black cat energy? (or both?)

what will THEIR opinion be on YOUR current life? will they be ur friend? will they trust you?

will your oc survive in a fantasy setting, a war setting, a dystopian setting, a futuristic setting, a medieval setting? will ur oc survive after getting stranded on an island, or a forest?

does your oc like their parents, do they like how their life is, do they feel like they're born in the right gen?

if they are ever to get one wish definitely granted, what would they wish for?

how did they react to their first kiss? (if they have had it by now lmao)

what's an ideal day for your oc?

lastly, who does your oc go to when they've fucked up?

Secrets and Candor

Chapter 3 : Candor

Pairing: Laindrin Sedai x Reader

Word Count: about 2000

Warning: some violence, but not much; mention of bad and abusive past (bust just minor)

Summary: You're finally truthful to Liandrin

(Also made a playlist for Liandrin)

A/n: Last Chapter!! Really hope you liked it! Maybe I'll write more for Liandrin <3 I definitely also have a Moiraine fiction planned

■----------------------------------------■

You regretted what you had said. You did almost the second you had left the room. You should have been honest with her, she - albeit in parts against her will - had opened up to you. She had let you into a part of her life that was a complete secret. You owed her just as much candor.

It was all you could think about for the week. Liandrin never left your mind, your dreams or your heart. Her look of utter disbelief and...betrayal? as you had just left her haunted you.

Despite the haunting thoughts the week past quickly and it was time to visit her son again. At dawn you were ready and waited in your room patiently. And you waited. And some more.

After a time you saw fit to wait you left your room. Liandrin was never late. It wasn't in her nature to be late. You rushed through the corridors to her room, a little panicked. Afraid that something was wrong, something had happened.

You knocked on her door. No response. You knocked a little louder. Nothing. Gently you opened the door and stepped inside.

"Liandrin? Are you there?" You asked into the empty room. She wasn't there. No trace of her. You quickly scanned the room. Her clothes, usually draped over a chair were gone, her hod was gone. You had an idea where she was.

You let your eyes wander over her room once more. It smelled like her, it smelled tart and yet fresh, like flowers. You took a deep breath and closed the door.

You made your way through Tar Valon, keeping your head down, trying to not get anyone's attention. Just like Laindrin usually did. You knew how important it was to her to keep her son a secret and you respected that.

As you rounded the corner and stood in front of the open door, you saw Liandrin inside. Again sitting on the side of the bed, her sons hand in hers. Silently you stepped in.

"Liandrin." You gently say, trying not to startle her. You knew she had heard you, yet she didn't look up. Her eyes were fixated on her son. You stepped a little closer.

"Why didn't you come and get me?" You asked and looked a little surprised as she scoffed. Her eyes were still directed to her son, even as she spoke. Her voice was quiet but full of cold rage. You hadn't heard that tone for some weeks now. You had thought she had warmed up to you. Slightly at least.

"You lied to me." You were taken aback. Not just by her icy tone, but by her words. When had you lied to her? You searched for words, but stumbled over them. Your helplessness to find words was like a confirmation to her. She slowly stood up, gently letting the hand of her son go and approached you.

For the first time ever, the look in her eyes frightened you. But not because she frightened you, but because you were afraid that she'd shut you out again. That you'd fall apart.

"Liandrin...I don't know-..." you started talking, but she cut you off. You could feel her start to channel and you were so perplexed by the unfolding of recent events that you couldn't stop her. Without a warning you felt your back hit the wall. She could have used more power, let you smash against the wall. She merely shoved you, a sign for you to still have hope. She wasn't fully behind this.

And yet you were pressed against the wall, not able to move. She approached you, taking elegant and slow steps towards you. Even though you were being threatened by her you felt a rush go through you. The way she looked at you, the way she walked and her hips moved distracted you for a moment.

"I was just starting to trust you, and you lied to me." Her voice was deep, trembling with rage. Your eyes flickered down to her hand, she held it steadily to keep her power on you.

"Liandrin, I didn't lie. What are you talking about?" You desperately tried to explain, find out what was going on.

"Don't lie again!" She screamed, stopping just in front of you. She was as angry as the day you had found her here for the first time.

"I asked you why you did this, why you helped. And you didn't even have the guts to tell me the truth." You turned your face away slightly, though she immediately directed it back to look at her. Her lips were pressed together in a thin line. You were getting tired of this as you had understood what her problem was.

So you showed her power. With a swift motion you broke free and Liandrin fell backwards, though you cought her mid air. As you straightened the both of you up, your face was incredibly close to hers.

"You want the truth? I'll tell you the truth, as I should have last week. But I meant what I said. I don't think you're ready for this conversation. And not because I betrayed you, or because I lied. Because I love you." The words stumbled out, it wasn't exactly what you had wanted to say. You hadn't meant to lay your feelings completely open. You had merely meant to make her understand that you truly cared, but now the words were out and you couldn't take them back.

Laindrin's face fell, her icy stare changed into a shocked one. Albeit just for a moment, as she immediately pulled herself back together. She freed herself from your embrace and stepped away from you.

She kept quiet, her lips trembling every time she opened her mouth. But that was the only thing betraying her facade, making her look vulnerable. Her eyes and her demeanour were icy again. She raised her hand to channel again, but it was trembling.

With two steps you were right in front of her again and embraced her hand with yours. Her eyes widened and she looked down at your hands. Gently you stroked the back of her hand with your thumb, just like she always did with her son.

"Please, Liandrin. Let's not do this in front of your son." You gently spoke. She turned around slightly and looked over her shoulder at her son, like she had nearly forgotten his presence and now felt guilty that she acted like this in front of him. She pulled her hand out of yours and went to her son.

Her features stoftened again and she apologised to him, letting him know she'd be back soon. When she turned to you, she had pulled herself together again. The shock was gone and her lip didn't tremble anymore. Proudly she walked past you and left through the corridors. You followed her quietly.

She didn't stop walking until the both of you had reached the tower again. A few times you tried talking to her but she ignored you every time. So you just fell behind and kept quiet.

As you had reached the tower you followed her through it's endless corridors. She stopped in front of her own room and stepped inside. You were surprised she'd let you into such a private environment, if you had guessed it would have been something much more distant. Something secure for her facade.

Slowly you followed her through the door and closed it behind you. She had her back turned to you and seemed to not take any notice of you. You approached her carefully.

"Liandrin?" Hesitantly you reached out wanting to gently lay your hand on her shoulder, but she shot around before you had a chance. She looked like she was seething with anger. She slapped your hand away, making you gasp in surprise.

"Spare me. I don't want your lies and your games. Spare me of your presence." You were shocked. You had told her the truth and yet she didn't believe you. Aes Sedai were easily able to hide things in-between their words, to not lie but also not directly tell the truth. But saying 'I Love you' left no room to ponder or doubt.

"Liandrin, you forget, just like you I'm an Aes Sedai and not able to lie. I meant what I said. Every word." You spoke, carefully emphasising every word. Trying to truly make her understand. She turned her head away, alowly shaking it in disbelief.

"No, you..." She was desperate, caught in her own disbelief that anyone could love her. In a swift motion she had you against the wall again, this time her power held you in the air. "You're a liar." She spit the words out and approached you. Yet, despite her anger you could see that her eyes were glossy.

"Liandrin, I don't lie to you. I would never, from the start I have been thruthful-..." It was hard to get the words out, as the power pressed against your chest. It felt as if it was taking your breath away, the tightness on your chest making it hard to breath properly.

"Why? Why would you love me?" She screamed the words, boiling inside, her whole body trembling with rage. And though it was angry and loud, you felt her insecurities. You realised that she just couldn't believe that anyone would ever love her. It was a deep rooted disbelief and not necessarily a mistrust in you.

"Moiraine, Alanna, their the ones who are loved. I'm Liandrin Guirale, no one loves me..." She said the words like they were posion, like she wanted to poison anyone with them who dared to think otherwise.

"I do." You croaked out. And locked eyes with her, pleading to let you down, to believe you. "Liandrin, please let me down. It's a little hard to breath." You could see something inside her shift, she hadn't meant to hurt you. Suddenly you fell to the floor and Liandrin just stared down at you. Her whole face showed shock, and panic. One, silent tear fell down her cheek.

You slowly got back on your feet and stepped closer to her, she took a step back. You stepped forward, she stepped back. You sighed.

"I-..." she looked down at her hands, eyes wide. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I-...How can you love me? I'm a monster." Her voice was shaking, you wanted to pull her into your embrace, hug her and hold her. But you didn't.

"Liandrin, you're not a monster. Yes, you've been through hard times and your life hasn't been easy. You've built a wall around you, for protection. A wall that often makes you seem cold and angry. But it doesn't make you a bad person. And it certainly doesn't make you undeserving of love." You carefully explained, looking at her with warmth and love. Patiently you waited for her to talk, to react. She didn't answer. She just sobbed silently, not even daring to look at you.

"Liandrin. You're incredible. How could I not love you?" Carefully you got closer, this time she didn't step away. You reached out and took her hand, it was still trembling. You pulled her into your arms and hugged her.

"You deserve more than a broken, mean bitch like me." She whispered into your shoulder. Your hand layed gently on her back, and the other stroked over her hair.

"Shhh, you're none of these things. I love you, however hard that is for you to believe." You pulled back a little and gently cupped her cheeks. Softly you wiped her tears away and smiled at her.

"Look at you, so beautiful." You whispered softly and saw her eyes widen again. Shyly she looked away but you direct her face back to look at you. With her chin between your fingers you tilt her head up a little and gently capture her lips with yours. The kiss didn't last long, it was simply a way of showing her the truth behind your words.

"Now, shall we visit your son? I still have to ease his pain." You said and wanted to turn back to the door as she grabbed your face and crashed her lips onto yours. She pulled you closer, your body pressed to hers and kissed you roughly. As she pulled back she smirked, although still a little shyly.

"Now, we can leave." Her voice had found it's commanding tone again and you chuckled about it as you followed her out of the room.

me writing: i am a god and reality bends to my whims

me proofreading: im too stupid to be alive

Do you ever have that moment of horror when you realise you’ve fallen down the rabbit hole of a ship and you’re like “oh fuck I know exactly what I will be doing at 3am for the next three months (or years)” or are you normal?