Moiraine Sedai - Tumblr Posts

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Book and show fanart in a single post? Amazing 🤩

Moiraine Damodred

so grateful to the wot show casting on many levels

but especially in the Lanfear scenes because Rand is like ‘gee wow no thoughts head empty pretty woman’

and while normally i would judge this, I too would follow Natasha O’Keffe as lanfear off a cliff

Dearest Siuanraine shippers and WoT stans, I just finished a Siuanraine edit.

It's the 2nd edit I've ever done. Here it is, I hope you enjoy it.

(Edited on Capcut.)

S2E07 Theory : Everything between Siuan and Moiraine is genuine. Only we forgot that :

BACKLINK ( this one actually works) , for those seeing this post before the theory.

So let's listen and watch carefully.

THIS POST HAS BEEN EDITED TO FIT INTO THE NEW UPDATED VERSION OF THE EXPLANATION OF THIS THEORY

(So I won't be explaining my theory, won't even summarise it here as I already tried to summarise it 2 times before and for some reason I always end up losing the post ( which is long, Yes I'm annoyed so it'll be expeditive because I'm tired of this already)

Edit 1 : It turns out that I will be explaining it in another post coming soon. I went on my laptop to copy-paste everything so I'll format it, retrieve the clips, etc.. then you'll have a detailed and well-thought and hopefully well written theory longer than a fanfic chapter to read, watch, and carefully listen to about S2E07.

Siuan and Moiraine left each other in agreement in S2E07, they're fine already even though they'll definetly still need to sit down and talk to each other and cuddle next time they meet.

Disclaimer : I recommand that you first read the subs, pause if necessary to read them, then rewind to be able to watch AND listen carefully for everything pointed out in the subs as everything really is in there waiting for you to notice them.

The amount of subtle acting in there is unbelievable. Oscar worthy actresses, am I right ?

I know. But there are two things my sister understands better than anyone. The difference between right and wrong, and how much harder it is sometimes to do what is right. - Anvaere Damodred

Thanks for reading,listening and watching. See you in the comments if you do leave your opinion, have questions or whatever. 👋🏾

I love feedback so don't hesitate to ask, comment, reblog, add things you think I might have missed etc..

You just got things mixed up.

Liandrin did not tell him she was in a cell.

She only ordered him to kill Moiraine.

He planned for Mo to be held captive until he went to kill her. Only his mom heard and backstabbed him (obvi).

They had already established that their servants were loyal to her, not Mo, who had a claim to the throne but Anvaere and only her. So she probably made the servant he asked to help him, to trap him instead, which is why he ends up emprisoned.

Mo had left the house already when Liandrin came so he prob was like "OK I wish I didn't have to but if that's what you want me to do, I'll happily do it, I'll send some people looking for her and do my thing while they look."

Question: when Liandrin tells Barthanes that Moiraine is being held in a cell in the tower, is she trying to trick him in some way or does she actually think that? Because it didn’t seem to me like anyone was holding Moiraine? She was just with Rand? And presumably if they wanted to hold her, especially since she’s “stilled,” they would put her in her own cell and not where she and the dragon could conspire? I had just assumed Siuan put Rand down there and let Moiraine go too. But then again, Leane says to Verin, “don’t let her get close to you,” so maybe she IS being held? But again, even if no one but Siuan knows she’s “stilled” (hence Leanne’s concern), why would they have her in the cell with Rand if they thought she might help him?

I’m curious because if Moiraine isn’t being held in a cell, it makes me very curious what Liandrin was doing telling that to Barthanes. Did she purposefully mislead him or was she herself misled?

Please no book spoilers I’m not even done with the first one.

I just read about this. 😭😂

She really was like:

"Oh well, OK."

"Yes, I'm totally in shock, Merean Sedai. You're right. That's totally the reason why I'm not crying."

"Can I leave now ? But before, let's make sure that you let me go do boring things again with my girlfriend tomorrow as initially planned because I don't care about them want to be alone with the grief."

leaves and proceeds to go to her room and think about going to her future fishwife's room instead

something so extremely funny but also extremely book accurate about show Moiraine gleefully running through the White Tower like "Oh good news everyone, the Aiel War is over! (because they killed her uncle and several of her cousins)"

S2E07 theory is now near.

I just have to add the scenes and correct some things, and it's there. I'm not sure you'll be ready for it, though. We went from 3k+ words to 10k134 words as of now.

Here's what you'll get from it :

WoT 207 ''Daes Dae'mar'': A detailed theory-analysis

DISCLAIMER :

This explanation is a detailed one. It is a deep dive into the season taking into account the point of view of all the relevant protagonists and antagonists of the game of houses that took place in Cairhien before our eyes in S2E07.Therefore, It's seemingly endless. If you don't enjoy reading or simply does not want to take the time to read, listen and watch all of it. You can check the following links to find the initial (shorter and less detailed, also outdated but still relevant) version of this explanation:

FOREWORD :

Excuse any eye piercing mistakes I might make or clunky phrasings you might notice, I'm French and ADHD's a bitch.

I've seen a lot of confusion about how Lan figured out about Moiraine. So, I analysed his POV throughout the season and those of the relevant characters in all of this so that it's clear for everyone as understanding part 1 is the central and fundmental part of this theory. It would be best for everyone, if there was no confusion.

PS: THE SCENES ARE IN HYPERLINKS FORMS BECAUSE I CAN'T PUT MOST THAN 1 VID PER POST, also forget about the backlinks. I forgot that the url would change if I went back to the different scenes after posting so that it'll stay like this but they won't work. ( no even sure they'll be necessary, i added them in case it was, so it'ss not an issue)

Let's theorise now, shall we ?

Part 1. Lan's and other relevant characters point of views throughout the season

E01 : A taste of Solitude

Here, his point of view is not important as it's mostly about how the bond being severed for the last 6 months affected him. What we can still point out from this episode is that at the beginning, Moiraine finally understands what the broken piece of Cuendillar at the Eye of The World meant. She understand thanks to the poem that was written on the back of the one that Bayle had, that all this time Ishamael was freed not defeated.

And that, at the end, when she first tried to leave without Lan, they ended up getting hurt and almost dying then getting rescued from the Fades who were following Bayle Domon by Verin and Tomas. ( (educated guess thanks to E08)Lanfear used him to get to Mo trough the fades, Moiraine was supposed to die before she had the chance to intervene.)

E02 : Strangers and Friends

After the Fades attack, Moiraine and Lan have been healed.

She's cold and leaving for the "docks", Verin tells her that Adeleas and her will accompany her and suggests that she goes to the White Tower first. She agrees. Later, at night, seated around a campfire listening to Verin, Adeleas and Tomas reminisce about their youth, Lan and Moiraine gets to do the same and remembers the first time they met each other. Sometime after, it's time for them to say goodbye and go their separate ways. Lan, while Moiraine is distracted, searches her saddle in which he finds a worn out piece of paper that is laced into what appears to be a thin thread of leather, before he can take a look at it, Moiraine comes back and he hides his findings in his cloak. They talk.

"I should have sensed the Fades were coming. I should have… I'm sorry. "

"Do you know when I actually decided you'd be my Warder?"

[…]

"You'll go to the Tower and I'll continue alone."

[…]

"We didn't defeat the Dark One, we set his strongest lieutenant free. The Forsaken are 3000 years old. They're the strongest channelers that ever lived, and Ishamael may be waking the others. What they can do with the One Power make the Aes Sedai look like tavern magicians conjuring birds from their sleeves. I mean, he cut me off with a flick of his wrist."

"But it takes eight Aes Sedai to cut someone off. Alone, he couldn't, no matter how…"

"You have no conception of the power they wield. "

"Well, then tell me.You and I walk this path together. […]"

"We've never walked this path together. You've never seen the forest for the trees because I have never shown it to you."

"You can't push me away."

"Rand's alive."

"No. You said he was dead."

"You assumed."

[…]

"I took an oath to defend you. "

"And without the bond, you're unable to fulfil that oath."

"I'm still your Warder.""

"No, you failed me.""

[…]

"I am not letting you walk away from me again."

"I know. Alanna will see you to the Tower. I'll have her take your bond by force if I must."

Lan from his last conversation with Moiraine before Siuan, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon becomes relevant factors learns that :

He had been chosen as her warder because she thought "he'll ultimately will be fine if I die"

She wants to leaves him behind again

They did not defeat the Dark One at the Eye but only made things worse by releasing his strongest lieutenant, a forsaken: Ishamael a.k.a Ishy.

Ishamael is most likely than not on a quest to release the other ones.

The forsaken are so much more stronger than the Aes Sedai that the difference is hilarious to think about.

Ishy apparently stilled her by himself.

Mo's betrayed his trust for the last 6 months by lying the Aes Sedai way ( purposefully misleading him) about Rand's death.

She thinks that he failed her and isn't her warder anymore.

She never thought of him as her equal.

She'd betray his trust again by letting Alanna take his bond by force (violate him) so that he'd let her leave alone on her suicide mission.

E03: What Might Be

This episode is unusable as Lan only appears as a part of Nynaeve's trial in the arches. However, we can still count the day or days passing in this episode to try and know how long it's been since Moiraine and Lan have been separated.

I've found that it's only been a day since they left each other by the end of episode 3.

E04: Daughter of the Night

When we first see Lan again since he's been forced to leave with Alanna, He's already been 2 days and 1 night away from Moiraine. This episode will be the 3rd day and 2nd night.

During the day, he's with Alanna and instead of heading straight back for the Tower they pay a visit to Alanna's family.

He eats with them ( lunch ) then he leaves the table to go take a piss, he expected Maksim or Ihvon as before but this time it's Alanna that came to see him. They talk.

[…]

"a warm memory. Something worth living for. And at that point… "

"So we're going to skip all of that.,I don't think you're gonna kill yourself. Your bond wasn't ripped from you. She took it. So have you decided what you're going to do now?"

"Have I worn out my welcome? "

"The three of us, we are going back to the Tower tomorrow. Will you come with us?"

[…]

"I wish you could've known Moiraine before. "

"Before what? "

"Something happened to her. About years ago now. A year or two before she bonded you. One day she was simply… changed. The way water becomes ice, and you look at it and wonder how it was ever water before. "

"Was she happier, then?"

"I don't know. I don't know if she's ever been happy. "

Later during the day, in the afternoon, he talks with Maksim.

[…]

"Moiraine has left the bond masked for… the last six months or so."

"I thought I was the only Warder who could go that long. When Alanna first bonded me, it was miserable for everyone. I didn't like having an audience in my head, and she didn't like the show. So, the three of us talked it through, and we decided that she would mask her bond with me. Except in battle. And bed."

"Does the Tower know about this? "

"Have you ever known a marriage that is exactly the same as another? I know the others will tell you…you can't go back to Moiraine. But I'm proof that you can. If you want to."

And finally, at night he talks with Ihvon.

[…]

"It's something she said. You keep saying it to yourself over and over. A thousand cuts for her one. People don't understand that we quiet ones… are quiet because the conversation's always… playing out in our own heads."

"She said that, all these years… Mm…she never considered me an equal. "

"Of course not. We are not their equals, Lan. We're not supposed to be. An Aes Sedai can… call down lightning, raise mountains. The rest of the world only sees their power. We see their weakness. We remind them that they are not gods."

"I wouldn't think that… Alanna needed a reminder."

"Yeah, well, she knows we want the same thing as her. "

"What's that? "

"The triumph of the Light over the Dark. And dessert after. "

"What about Moiraine? What does she want? "

"Maybe that's the problem. I don't think I know anymore. "

While they're talking, Maksim who was meditating with them but left them alone before they started talking, found the old and worn out piece of paper that Lan previously took from Moiraine. He shows it to Alanna, who reads it and immediately understand what it could mean about Lan and maybe Moiraine too. Is he a dark friend ? Are they dark friends ? Later during the night, while Lan is asleep, Ihvon joins them and they talk it out, outside the house, Ihvon then reads it and they figure out that it's a prophecy in the Old Tongue about a forsaken, specifically about the Daughter of the Night, Lanfear. They're not sure of what to think yet, but they now suspect Lan.

E05: Damane

In this episode we do not follow Lan, Alanna, Ihvon or Maksim. There's is no point of view for them while they're travelling together but we can add 2 nights and a day to the counter. It's been 4 days and 4 nights away from Moiraine and as many days and nights spent with Alanna and her warders for Lan. However, we do get Verin's point of view.

After just arriving at the Tower, she asked after Nynaeve and Egwene but it turned out that they were nowhere to be found. Not in their rooms, not doing chores or in class and somehow, it was the same for the Daughter-heir of Andor, Elayne. They seemed to have disappeared so she went to see Sheriam Sedai, the current Mistress of Novices to try and understand where they could have vanished.

[…]

"Why, Verin Sedai. I was unaware you'd be visiting us."

[…]

"Uh, what can I do for you, Sister?"

"I was hoping to have a word with two of the girls in your care, Egwene al'Vere and Nynaeve al'Meara. Do you know where I might find them?"

"Uh, they are likely busy doing their chores. "

"In fact, they aren't. Nor are they in their class, nor in their rooms. And, um, also the Daughter-Heir of Andor is nowhere to be found."

"Is it possible they may have left Tower grounds?"

"The Daughter-Heir? It's worth taking a look, don't you think? "

"Oh. Uh… Oh, goodness, yes. Here it is. A visit to Elayne's home in Caemlyn. The three were signed out just the other day."

"That seems worth remembering. "

"It is. I, um…I don't know how it slipped my mind, frankly."

"It's quite unusual".

"That it is."

[…]

"Oh, yeah, I have another question for you. I was in the library asking after a book, Meditations on the Kindling Flame? Oh, yes, I've been meaning to return it. It's in my room, actually. Do you need it? Just for a short passage on the Amyrlin Tetsuan, uh… if you could. "

Verin went to the library before going to Sheriam and asks Nomy and Yassica about the "new very powerful Novices".

We don't actually see this happening, but since she went to the tower knowing about Moiraine's adopted kids and particularly about Rand, she must have wanted to meet them as opposed to being able to meet the Dragon Reborn himself ( being bothered by her insatiable curiosity again). She learns that they are nowhere to be found, knowing what link they might have with the Dragon Reborn, she finds suspicious that just after Moiraine got attacked by 3 Fades and went looking for the Dragon Reborn, again, that her girls would appear to have left tower grounds with no one knowing about their departure. With these information in mind, before going to see Sheriam, she takes some precaution to ensure that she discovers the whole truth if for some reason Sheriam was not revealing it all. Knowing all of this, we can deduce that she had the following course of action:

Go to the Library and asks her fellow trusted brown sisters about the girls, after she tells her that it seems like they're not in the tower anymore, She asks them to help if she suspects that Sheriam, might not be telling her the whole truth during their talk.

ask about a book she borrowed and did not return yet, so that they can use it's mention as a signal and use it as a diversion (Meditation on the Kindling Flame).

Look for Ny, Eggy and Elayne

Ask and look around for them

Go to Sheriam and ask about the girls disappearance and determine whether it would be wise to use the backup plan.

Signal to Yassica that they're following the plan, that their conversation is coming to an end and that they'll soon get out of her study.

Distract Sheriam long enough so that Yassica retrieves all of the supposedly useful information.

Meet Yassica to talk about her findings.

Get the names of every Aes Sedai who left the tower in the last few days because it seems that a weave of compulsion was used on Sheriam (so Black Ajah).

Get the prophecies about the DR for Moiraine ? (not sure that she ever did)

Liandrin cross examination

Liandrin successfully fails

[…]

"I, um, I thought you were in Jurene hunting a young man suspected of channeling. "

"Luckily it was nothing."

"Hmm. "

"But… I did… bring back some white asparagus. If you'd like some. It's a delicacy from the village. You can only… "

"Procure them there and only at this time of year. "

"Yes."

[…]

"That's strange. Novices shouldn't be allowed to… "

"Well, they've, uh… they've gone to a name day ceremony in Caemlyn. "

"I'd heard on the road back that a royal envoy going to Caemlyn was attacked south of here. "

"By whom?"

"Uh, a soldier at the inn. He said it was… bandits or Whitecloaks. But if the girls were with them… Come, we must talk to the Keeper immediately. Those girls are worth more than gold itself. Hurry."

Even though her suspicions about Liandrin are at an all time high, I think that she did go with her to go "talk to the Keeper". It's the last time we see her before Cairhien.

E06: Eyes Without Pity

It's been 4 days and 4 nights, Moiraine got to Rand the night before and finally separated him from Lanfear. Defeated and her plans for the Dragon Reborn interrupted.

MOIRANE AND RAND

[…]

Lanfear: "But, if you actually want to work with me… I have one condition. "

Moiraine: "What did she say?"

"I have to go."

"Where? Did she tell you where… "

"No. Away from you. That was her condition. If she sees us together again, she'll kill you".

Lanfear, goes to Liandrin who she's been prying on in the World of Dreams. They talk.

[…]

"Ishamael said he'd freed you, but I…"

"Tell me, why do you work for him? For Ishamael? You hate men. With one exception, it seems."

[…]

"Men hurt us… betray us, and still, we love them. You swore your oaths to keep him alive, but this is not life. "

"I know. "

"He's holding you back. The last tie to the girl you used to be. The girl who was beaten and starved, and forced to marry before she bled. "

"I know. "

"And that's why I'm here, to do what you can't. A gift only one woman can give to another."

[…]

"You swore your oaths to the Dark, not to Ishamael. You cannot take them back. It's impossible. But there are many paths to walk through the night."

(optional but recommended) : Torashi's thoughts about Lanfear and Liandrin

Liandrin ends up switching sides at the end of this conversation. She will now aid Lanfear, not Ishy and Lanfear gives her the task of killing Moiraine (it's the 2nd assassination attempt). She needs to get rid of her but can't kill her herself because she wants Rand to trust her and believe in her and her cause.

Meanwhile, Moiraine is in Cairhien with Rand and at some point she attempts to write a letter in response to her "Dearest Siuan" to update her on the situation and finally tell her the truth about being stilled but she can't. At least, not yet. Only, she did not expect Lan to overtake her.

Lan's point of view (during night 4)

It's night, Lan, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon are travelling. We don't know where exactly they're going but we can expect them to be going towards the Tower as it was what was planned. All this time spent with them, Lan has been pondering on the idea, that, maybe, Moiraine, really is not stilled but something else. He does not know what but he needs to at least dissipate his doubts. On the other side, Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon still suspects Lan of being a Dark Friend. During their trip, they purposefully choose to stop at a Forsaken temple to observe his behavior and judge him. Lan having these doubts in the back of his mind, wants to get to the Amyrlin seat, Siuan Sanche, who happens to be Moiraine's secret wife. He needs more information on the forsaken and needs to know where to find Siuan, so that she can help him dissipate his doubts ( he understands the old tongue- he understood what Ihvon meant by "Blood calls blood") and help him find how to help Moiraine.

Alanna : "Here's as good a place to stop as any. I'm dying for some tea."

Lan: "This is a temple to the Forsaken. Interesting choice."

Maksim: "Shelter's shelter. "

Lan: "We'll need the Amyrlin's permission for me to return to the Tower. Moiraine's banishment applies to me until our bond is formally removed from Tower records."

Alanna: "The Amyrlin won't be back for another few days yet. She's returning from a visit to Caemlyn."

Lan: "Forsaken. Do you believe they had powers the Aes Sedai have lost? Weaves this Age has forgotten?"

Ihvon: "They were the generals of the Dark One's army. The things they did, our Aes Sedai would never even consider."

Alanna: "What you're willing to do changes depending on what you're faced with."

[sometime later Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon are supposed to be distracted, having fun in their tent. Lan attempts to leave but they were watching him all along. He's cornerded by Ihvon and Maksim then trapped in the One Power by Alanna.]

Maksim : "It's rude to leave while your friends are sleeping."

Ihvon: "Ruder still to use your weapon against them."

Lan: "I don't want to fight you. "

Maksim: Rejection's a relatively new experience. You'll have to forgive me for asking, but… where are you going, old friend?

Lan : That is my business.

[…]

Alanna: "The Amyrlin did not banish you from Tar Valon. You know that. You wanted me to tell you where she is. Why?"

Lan: "I need to find her."

Alanna: "What do you want from Siuan Sanche ?"

Alanna: "You will tell us the truth, al'Lan Mandragoran. We will kill you were you stand if you don't."

Lan: "We found the Dragon Reborn."

[Lan goes to Siuan to tell her the truth about her wife, so that she can help him check whether he was right to doubt a forsaken's ability to still someone alone and help her.]

It's the last time we see them before the new day starts. They had all night to talk to each other, research (if needed) and come up with a plan.

DURING DAY 5

-MORNING

Lan is preventing Rand from leaving to go to Falme, alone, without Moiraine. He's accompanied by Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon.

Moiraine sends Jonas to give a letter to a trusted sister of hers of the Blue Ajah so that she can "get it where it needs to go" (To Siuan I suppose). She apologises to Barthy and he hugs her, they're interrupted by Anvaere.

"The Amyrlin Seat is here, in Cairhien, with 14 Aes Sedai, and she's demanded an audience with you."

Liandrin's in Cairhien, thanks to her, we know that Siuan summoned them without disclosing why.

"The last time the Amyrlin Seat called 14 sisters to meet with her in Cairhien, we installed a new king on the Sun Throne."

"Well, maybe this Amyrlin is a little more frivolous daughter."

"Hmm. "

"We'll have to wait and see."

In this part, we learned that :

Lan was suspicious from the moment that he learned how Moiraine got stilled by Ishy.

He doubted what his next step should be and thanks to Ihvon and Maksim, he knew that he had to get back and COULD go back to Moiraine.

He needed to get to Siuan before so that she could help him get back to Moraine and check whether he could have been right or not about her not being stilled.

He told Alanna about Rand and never disclosed that Moiraine could not channel or that Siuan and her were working together or that they are lovers.

He went to see Siuan, they talked and planned an intervention to save Moiraine from herself.

Lanfear used Domon to get to Moiraine trough the fades to kill her before she could do anything about Rand. (educated guess when informed by E08)

Lanfear rallied Liandrin to her cause and tasked her to take care of Moiraine for her. (educated guess when informed by E08)

Verin now knows about the dragon and is going to the Tower to look for prophecies about the dragon for Moiraine.

Verin suspected Liandrin of being Black Ajah and of being able to use the weave of compulsion and left with her to "go see the keeper"

Siuan, Lan, Alanna, Ihvon and Maksim went to Cairhien

Siuan summoned 14 Aes Sedai there but did not disclose the reason why and demanded an audience with Moiraine

Lan prevented Rand from leaving without Moiraine for Falme accompanied by Alanna, Ihvon and Maksim.

Part 2. Liuan : Their off screen talk

Thanks to part 1, we can be assured that Siuan was the one who showed up at Cairhien and not the Amyrlin Seat. It was about Moiraine not the mission or Rand. They were secondary motives and afterthoughts. All that mattered when she saw Lan, was Moiraine. It would have been five days since she answered to Moiraine from their previous letter and she still did not have an answer, so she was already worried. In E06, when Moiraine attempts to write to Siuan before Barthy interrups her. It either was the first letter from E01 or a follow up one that Siuan sent out of worry. Lan showing up alone, probably was horrifying. As for Lan, is sole purpose and worry from the night Moiraine got "stilled" and they lost their bond was to help Moiraine, support her, be close to her again. Basically as he said:

Moiraine: "I don't know what you think you'll gain from this."

Lan: "Hopefully, everything we've lost."

Now onto the talk.

credit: @aflawedfashion

What we can deduce from E07 and the previous episodes we just deep dived into is that Lan told her more than she had just been stilled. He confirms that he went to Siuan doubtful near the end of episode 7 when he says :

"It never made sense to me, Moiraine. What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off, which means… "

scene

He just told her what he tried to say from E02 (except this time he knows what it is if not stilling and how to fix it), but she wouldn't listen to him.

scene

So, between Liuan this is what he must have said:

Siuan, At the eye of the world, Moiraine actually fought a forsaken, he was not defeated.

She was mistaken, a few days ago she realised that we released him. We were wrong, we,lost at the eye of the world.

She's lost her ability to touch the source but she said that Ishamael stilled her alone. I don't think she's been stilled, Verin Sedai said that most stilled women ended up dying and that her behavior was not aligning with what's usually expected. After she told me that he stilled her alone I strongly doubted that she really was, I thought maybe it was something else, I told her but she brushed me off. Are they really that strong ? Can a forsaken really still someone alone ?

She's been casting me out for the last six months so I only learned about all of it 4 nights ago when she left me behind to go find Rand. He wasn't with us, she let me assume he died and let him leave.

She forced me to stay back with Alanna Sedai and her warders by threatening me of letting her take my bond by force. They were to take me back to the tower but before Moiraine left me I took a poem she had in her saddle, it was about Lanfear. Ishamael released her, Alanna Sedai found it and cornered me earlier as I was trying to get to you to confront me about it. She wouldn't let me go, she thought that I was to harm you and a dark friend, she was ready to kill me so I had to tell her about the dragon reborn so that she'd let me go.

Lan told her and knew everything she needed to know to be able to help her wife as she's always been doing. Only, this time, Moiraine would have to stay out of the loop. She's emotionally unstable and is not in a place where she could allow herself to think of such a possibility anymore, giving her hope for no reason wouldn't make for anything good.

optional but recommended : Thoughts about why Liuan decided to keep Moiraine out of the loop

We now wonder, what did they plan ?

Part 3. Liuan : The Plan

Before diving into this part, we need to know what might have happened between them beside their talk.

What can we deduce happened ?

Lan tells her everything and Siuan comes up with the plan and tells him what he'll have to do and they'll obviously use Rand as a pretext (well, Siuan will).

(I used to think that she could have not know as soon as he'd tell her since Moiraine herself did not think that a Forsaken wouldn't be able to do that but after further research and taking into account the fact that Lan immediately suspected it and that Moiraine judgement was clouded by her emotions, I now think that Siuan knew as soon as he told her. Anyway, whether she needed to check or not they had their plan which was not about the dragon in case you forgot but about Moiraine.)

Now, onto the discussed plan:

Siuan explains :

Lan you'll :

Get the boy, try to make him understand that he'll be fine but do not tell him the truth, we can't trust that he won't talk to Moiraine or that nobody will spy on you. I'll meet him and try and do the same and use our meeting as my main motive for coming to Cairhien, also, we'll need him to unshield her as I can't see Saidin (men half of the One power).

You'll check with Logain to know if we were right about her being shielded, we have to be sure before attempting anything.

Check if she ever wanted to kill herself if you have the chance.

Everything may not go as planned so be ready not to reveal that there's more than me meeting the boy and follow along with whatever I do.

This is what you'll have to do to un-shield her if we were right

If we get attacked you'll take her there. This will be our escape route in case we ever need it.

As for Alanna and her warders they'll be on the look out.

Most importantly, keep her safe, be careful and stand by her.

Siuan

I'll

Summon 14 Aes sedais and take them with me to Cairhien since we have 2 Forsaken on the loose trying to get him, they'll be useful in case we get attacked.

Meet and talk to Moiraine and distract her from what you'll be doing.

Meet the boy and try to make him understand that i'm on his side.

Alanna, Maksim and Ihvon

Look out for the Forsaken

Alert

Backup

Goals

The goal is to help Moiraine and that is it, probably discuss their next course of action regarding the plan since she might be stilled (which she can do with no problem since she doesn't know for sure that she isn't). As i've stated before, Rand and the mission in this case were the after thoughts as it is Siuan that decided to go to Cairhien and not the Amyrlin Seat.

Moiraine: "Siuan said you were leaving. Where were you going? "

(While they're the same person, they are not the same characters, Siuan isn't the Amyrlin Seat and the Amyrlin Seat is not Siuan but only a part of her, I thought the show made it clear enough but I'm reminding you all again anyway as i've seen that a lot (even other theorist and siuaraine shippers) seems to think that Siuan really went to Cairhien to take Rand away from Mo, cage him and stuff as if they did not show us that it simply was not how it worked between them and that she simply was not her position at all. Most misunderstood and underappreciated character sincerely (those who voted Hopper, i'm looking at y'all). Anyway, SHE IS NOT THE AMYRLIN SEAT AND THE AMYRLIN SEAT IS NOT SIUAN BUT ONLY A PART OF HER.)

So, Siuan shielding and putting Rand in a cell was improvised as he was leaving without Moiraine knowing and she needed him to be around anyway.

Daes dae'Mar : The Game of Houses, Liuan's plan put into practice

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Siuaraine meeting in the Sun Palace

Goals :

Meet and talk to Moiraine and distract her from what Lan will be doing.

Use meeting Rand as her main motive for coming to Cairhien.

[MOIRAINE] Mother. [SIUAN] Leave us, Daughter. She's no threat to me. [LEANE] I'll be right outside, Mother. [SIUAN] Why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me you'd been stilled? Six months of letters, Moiraine. And not one word about this…this violation. [MOIRAINE] Well, what else did Lan tell you?

[MOIRAINE] That you threatened to let Alanna take his bond without his permission. You know he told her. That you found the Dragon. (half truth and deflection, she knew about the forsaken and talks about it later,)

[MOIRAINE] Why are you here, Siuan?

[SIUAN] I've let you carry this burden for years, love. You've given everything for it. From here on out, I row beside you. ( half truth, because she also was there to help Lan check her powers)

Moiraine: [SCOFFS] (not convinced)[gets hypnotised by Siuan's touch]

[SIUAN] It's time I met Rand al'Thor. (deflection)

scene

Lan takes Rand and prepare him to meet Siuan

Goals:

Prepare him to meet Siuan :

make him understand without telling him the truth that Siuan is on his side. Even though she's the Amyrlin. ( for the reason mentioned before but also, it's Cairhien)

[LAN] Tuck in your shirt. [RAND] What does the Amyrlin Seat want from me? Is this a trial? I saw what she did to the last man who called himself Dragon. (scared) [LAN] Is that why you ran from the Eye of the World? Why you hid here? (wonders why he left and questions if it was because he was afraid about sharing Logain's fate) [RAND] I left to protect the people I love. (angrily answers, offended by the assumption) [LAN] Don't be so selfish. You were born to protect this world. Every person in it. Not just the ones you love. (reminds him of his responsabilities as the Dragon Reborn)

Listen to me. The Amyrlin's a smart woman. She's a good woman. (reassures him about Siuan) And she comes from humbler beginnings than you. (she's not what she seems) [RAND] Does Moiraine know you're doing this? (asks about the only Aes Sedai he kind of trust) [LAN] There's one rule above all others for being a man. Whatever comes, you face it on your feet. ( ignores and teach him what his answer should be to the fear he's currently feeling)

Put this on. Give me your blade.

Heron Dips the Wing. You've been learning sword forms. (proud uncle moment) [RAND] I've learned a couple of things. [LAN] Keep the sword. (let him keep his sword as he is still stressed)

If the Amyrlin's afraid of you, it won't be for a sword. (build his confidence up)

If you're going to use one of the forms, use Cat Crosses the Courtyard, keep your back straight, every muscle loose. As if hung from a wire at the top of your head. (teaching moment)

Go. The Amyrlin waits.

scene

Siuan meets Rand while Mo'an are talking

[RAND] As you've summoned me, Mother, so I've come. I stand ready. [SIUAN] Do you now, boy? Lan has prepared you, I see. What else did he tell you? [RAND] That you aren't exactly what you seem. [SIUAN] Most people are not. In this world, it is wise to guard your truths, but not us. Not today. (she won't lie, since she can't but she's going to aes sedai her way out of his questions not to reveal blatlantly that she's on his side) I have questions for you. Answer truthfully.

[LATER]

[RAND] And then what? [SIUAN] You say you've been careful. How many times have you channeled? [RAND] Not many. Not deliberately. [SIUAN] You will continue to channel, as sure as roe makes fish. You can't help it. And if you don't learn to control it, you won't live long enough to go mad. (INFODUMP) [RAND] What kind of a choice is that? (when did she give him a choice exactly, please ?), (ignored question) Dying or going mad and killing everyone I love? (ignored) What if I'm tired of being a spoke in the Wheel? (acknowledged) [SIUAN] You're not a spoke, boy. You are the water that turns the Wheel itself or dashes it to pieces. (answers)

Do you know what Tower law says the Amyrlin must do if she finds the Dragon Reborn? (question and attemps at making him understand) [RAND] Gentle him? [SIUAN] Gentle him? No. How do you fight the Dark One without the One Power?

Some of my Red daughters would want that, I suppose, but… (beware of the reds basically) we are meant to cage you. (teaching, infodumping)

Keep you shielded, channeling only when we want, what we want. And when we go to fight the Last Battle, you will be the greatest weapon in our arsenal. But not our general.

This is not a conversation. (yes it is) You already made your decision. (indeed, 20 years ago dumbass) You made it before you ever met me. (how do you know? she made it looking in your other mom eyes the day you were born and ruined their retirement plans, BEHAVE RAND)

I won't live in your cage. (did she say SHE, would cage you or that the Amyrlin was MEANT to cage you ? she infodumped, you stupid boy)

(she had no other choice but to shield him as he was getting hostile, then Mother got mad, i can't blame her I would have too (actually I did), because how can you be so dense, mistaken and dumb, like why would you think you'd be able to do anything against the Amyrlin Seat, when you know nothing about channeling- je souffle (I sigh), je souffle, je souffle. Il fatigue(he tires).)

scene

Six months you've known what you are, and… you've learned nothing.

Six months! Huh?

She taught you nothing. (she's mad, and it takes a lot to get her to snap according to New spring so leave my girl alone, Mo took the decision alone, said nothing and did teach him nothing also from an objective stand point, she's not necessarily talking about chanelling. She's been over their whole discussion since he pulled a Nynaeve while asking about being tired of being a spoke or whatever )

A single Aes Sedai can handle you like baitfish. ( just an astute and accurate observation made with an iconic fish metaphor)

[SIGHS] (me too)

We would've been so much better off if you were a girl. (i'm sorry not sorry to the men who got butt hurt by this comment but she's right, had it been possible it would have been so much better and it's an objective truth, she basically stated a fact so get over it)

scene

Mo'an talk during Rand and Siuan are talking

Goals:

Check if she ever wanted to kill herself ( symptoms of stilling basically)

Do not to reveal that there's more than Siuan meeting Rand

[MOIRAINE] I don't know what you think you'll gain from this. [LAN] Hopefully, everything we've lost. [MOIRAINE] Leave. I have nothing to say to you. [LAN] I have a question for you. And I hope someday you'll forgive me for asking it. ( a single question huh ?)

After you were stilled by Ishamael, has there been a time… in all these months when you thought about ending it? [MOIRAINE] killing myself?

I read the Tower records. (keep that in mind,take a mental or physical note.) There have only been two women in history who were cut off who didn't. Most did it within the year. [MOIRAINE] No, I didn't. (Rand & Moiraine getting offended by Lan's perfectly reasonable and logical assumption)

Not for one second.

Because I know that protecting Rand, guiding him, that is the only thing that matters. More than me, more than you. More than anything. [LAN] That's what I thought. (happy Lan)

[MOIRAINE] And this whole thing you're doing with Siuan, it puts all of it… the Last Battle,the fate of the world… in jeopardy. (Yes, it's true but do I need to remind her "when have ever followed the rules?" or simply that these two never let her not take care of herself? WHY DID SHE EVEN EXPECT THEM TO CARE ABOUT THE WORLD IF SHE WASN'T FINE ? SUCH A DEPRESSED LOVABLE AND ANNOYING PUFFERFISH).

I apologise for my lack of professionalism,

It will definitely happen again though,you've been warned.

What isn't she telling me? (was not convinced by Siuan earlier, just hypnotised)

You have to trust someone at some point, Moiraine. You can't do this by yourself. You can't. And if it's not going to be me… then I thought it might at least be her. (deflect)

scene

Siuaraine, Mo'an, Liuan fight (+ red haired misbehaving toddler)

Goal:

distract Moiraine so that Lan can do his thing

improvised: shield rand and prevent him from leaving, as he's shown that he's ready to be hostile and harm, he's caged and to be kept shielded by Leane who knows nothing but that she has to shield him.

[SIUAN] Let them through. [MOIRAINE] Release him, Siuan. ( Mo, you don't even know what he did) Now. [SIUAN] No. We tried our way, Moiraine. -> true

And we nearly lost everything. -> true

The Tower's laws have stood for , 3000 years.-> infodumb

It's time we obeyed them. -> it was time from the moment they became accepted, it was already time in their hut when Moiraine was asking when did they EVER followed these rules. [LAN ] This is not what we agreed to. (true but he also remembered that bro was leaving alone when he found him and will stay quiet and follow along from now on)

[MOIRAINE] The Reds will gentle him.

[SIUAN] Not while I hold the Seat. -> true, even if she really wanted to follow the rules, she wouldn't let them.

[MOIRAINE] The Tower is filled with your enemies. -> true, she knows

You're this sure of your power? -> true, and siuan stays quiet because she can't Aes sedai her way out of this one

We each had a task, Siuan.

I was to find the Dragon Reborn. You were to get the Tower ready to support him. Or have you forgotten that day? -> something here snapped in her brain people, Moiraine angered her with this one and she loses her temper ( which is, AGAIN, hard to do according to New spring in case I needed to remind you)

[SIUAN]

Of course I have not forgotten.

But you were supposed to be with him, ready to shield him if he starts to go mad.

Yet here you are, stilled. (still isn't sure and it's what it appears to be so she can say it, and she is pissed)

You can't control him. -> true

You can't guide him. -> true

Can you imagine, Moiraine, if one of the Forsaken got their hands on him? (she gave herself away there, remember in the first meeting when I referenced this ? )

He's no more ready now than he was before you found him. -> true

You left the fate of the world to chance… -> true, she let him leave at the eye when she was not sure of what the fight they just "won" meant + she never told her that he left because she couldn't tell her why she let him leave and there was no other reason than she couldn't protect him anymore from the dark and himself and it was best if he laid low + it meant that telling, and admitting that she'd never touch the source again could be delayed

… for your pride. -> so yes but for those not agreeing with her statement there, we do not care, she just need to believe something to be able to say it. IT DOES NOT MATTER.

Tomorrow, when Queen Galldrian returns, we shall announce him as Dragon here in Cairhien… with Sisters by our side to show he is under our control. -> he's supposed to leave with Moiraine as soon as she's unshielded if they were right, no one knows about Rand but them and those who learned about it this season and it's one of the possible choice they could have made by actually having a conversation about what to do if Moiraine hadn't come in there after Lan told her to trust, ordering Siuan around, wanting to hear nothing else, when she didn't even know why he was shielded (he deserved the time out sincerely.)

Prepare him for what is to come.

I think she was saying this to both of them, and it had a double meaning.

Lan: Still on board, even though things got heated carry on with the plan, just lost my temper. ( would explain why the camera shows him and not Moiraine even though the whole conversation had been only between Siuaraine)

Mo and us: yeah i'm apparently ditching the plan we sacrificed 20 years for, and the one I came up with Lan, last night, without a discussion, just because i'm pissed after I told you her earlier that I was there to support you her. Yes, that is right, this is what is happening.

scene

Since there had been no objection, no attempt at bargaining or anything, just plain old silence. Siuan thought Moiraine had dropped the ball. She let her be, and Moiraine chose to stay with Rand. ( good because she'll still be distracted even though they're mad at each other right now) Had Moiraine been imprisoned too, she wouldn't have been allowed to be in the same cell, and Siuan would have disclosed that she had been stilled to Leane but she did not. Siuan trusted her, still, even though they just had a fight about their kid and knew that she had been Aes sedaying her way out of transparency for months. So,to her everything was mostly going according to plan but then Rand happened and introduced another player to the game that was currently unfolding before our innocent, untrained eyes and unaware minds.

House Lanfear- Al'Thor

Goals:

Get rid of Moiraine

Get Rand to Falme alone

[RAND] What is happening to me? [MOIRAINE] You've been shielded from the One Power. [RAND] Um… it feels… [MOIRAINE] As if you've lost everything you ever were and everything you could possibly be. Don't worry, it's temporary. She has to channel to keep the shield in place, but when it drops, you'll feel yourself again. [MOIRAINE] Siuan said you were leaving. (off-screen first meeting)

Where were you going? [RAND] Falme. Egwene is there. Ishamael has her. [MOIRAINE] Lanfear showed you this in the dream world? [RAND] I know they want me to go there. But why Falme, of all places? [MOIRAINE] The Dragon is supposed to proclaim himself there. "Bannered 'cross the sky in fire." [RAND] They want everyone to know who I am before they try to kill me. If they need me in Falme, then they certainly don't want me being held prisoner by the Amyrlin Seat.

He happened, and Moiraine broke Siuan's trust there once again by indulging in it.

As Justine Juel Gillmer( S1E06 and S2E07 writer) pointed out and explained : Moiraine feels like she lost Rand to Lanfear, operates without a clear path to follow for the first time and is all alone. She focuses only on Rand, nothing else matters (as i've pointed before myself too, during Mo'an's talk). (in the bonus)

So, she does nothing else than what she felt she could do : She stays by his side and tries to win him back. She says nothing,let him and indulges in his tendency to call on Lanfear (the dark) for help, thinking that she would be able to outsmart her even though she knows that she wouldn't have been able to see their interaction in the world of dreams, she trust Rand to give her all of the information that she'd need to know if something was wrong and Rand ends up asking Lanfear. A fair price to pay to gain some of his trust back: trusting each other and only one another and further harming the trust Lanfear made sure they would build while she was away and unaware. Without realising it, she built trust in one of her relationship, while harming one of hers too.

She breaks the trust that Siuan chose to still have in her, even though she knew that she was not in the right head space right now because of the shield, by actually trying to escape when she had dropped the ball earlier.

scene

Meanwhile, Liandrin is working on fulfilling the mission she has been given by Lanfear in episode 6. […]

[LIANDRIN] I remember her at that age. You have the look of her, you know. [BARTHANES] Why are you here, Aes Sedai? [LIANDRIN] To deliver an order. (from Lanfear) [BARTHY] What does our master ask of me? ( he assumed it was from Ishy or the DO) [LIANDRIN] Remove her from the board. [BARTHY] She is my aunt. [LIANDRIN] Exactly. Even she will be unprepared for this. Do it today. She's being held in a cell in the palace. (Lanfear or you got this one wrong Liandrin, she's in there voluntarily.)Oh. And if your mother suspects anything… take care of her, too.

scene

Meanwhile House Lanfear-Al'Thor,

[LANFEAR] You didn't even make it out of the city. ( she knew already) [RAND] I need your help. I'm in a cell in the Sun Palace. The Amyrlin's holding me. [LANFEAR] I know. [RAND] Can you get me out? [LANFEAR] Hmm. Isn't Moiraine with you? Surely she could do something. [RAND] Maybe she will. Maybe I won't need you. [LANFEAR] Oh, I do like it when you try to manipulate me. [RAND] Can you get me out or not, Lanfear?

scene

On the other side,

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Goals:

check with Logain to know if they were right about her being shielded, They have to be sure before attempting anything.

Alanna and her warders will be on the look out.

[ALANNA] Through there. What did he say? Does the Daughter of the Night walk in our world? [MAKSIM] Forsaken. Dragon Reborn. I miss the farm, Alanna. I even miss your cousins. [ALANNA] Come now. Did you expect we would fight the Last Battle against an army of kittens?

[LOGAIN] I would offer you a match, but.. stones is a gentleman's game. Tell your master that I'm still waiting for her to keep her promise. Or you can just run me through with your blade now, save her the trouble. [LAN] I can do better than that. You can see male weaves. What do you see when you look at Moiraine? [LOGAIN] A desperate, lonely woman who has given her life to a cause… beyond her understanding. [LAN] A half a year in an asylum, and you're a madman still. [LOGAIN] Madness is expecting a straight answer from the man you helped lock away. There are weaves on her. From a man. Thousands of strands pulled together, held in place, but nothing being channeled into them. [LAN] How is that possible? [LOGAIN] I don't know, it's just like…

scene

House Lanfear-Al'Thor

[PEOPLE SCREAMING IN BADASS LANFEAR ANNOUNCING HER ARRIVAL]

Meanwhile House Sanche- Mandragoran,

[ALANNA] There's a fIre. In the Foregate. [LOGAIN] The key. [LAN] You think I've forgotten what you did to Kerene and Stepin? You will get this key when they take you back to the White Tower. There are two Brown Sisters that are desperate to study a man who can channel.

[LAN] Go. (to Moiraine) [LANFEAR] 3000 years pass and I'm back to this.

scene

And another player comes in, unexpectedly,

House Damodred

Goals:

Save Moiraine

Save the name of House Damodred

Save herself

Get yourself absolutely adored by the Fandom in one action

[BARTHANES] You're sure my aunt's alone? [SERVANT] As you asked, my lord. And a sedative in her tea. She should be asleep already. [BARTHY]] Good. [SERVANT] Would you like me to open it, Your Grace? [ANVAERE] I didn't think you would do it. [BARTHY] Mother. No. No! No! No. [ANVAERE] Why? In Light's name, why? [BARTHANES] I did it for us. I did it for you, Mother. For our family name. Why do you think that we've risen so far so fast, Mother? I am to be king. And you would throw it all away for what? For-for her? Mother, Moiraine doesn't care about you. She trust no one. She cares about no one. She… She will leave this place, and she will not give us a second thought. [ANVAERE] I know. But there are two things my sister understands better than anyone. The difference between right and wrong, and how much harder it is sometimes to do what is right. [BARTHY] Mother. Mother, please. Mother, please. You can't tell the queen. You can't tell anybody. [BADASS, HEROIC ANVAERE] I already have. [CRYING BARTHY] Mother. Mother. Mother! No! Mother! Mother!

scene

House Lanfear-Al'thor

Goals:

release Rand while Lanfear's being the perfect diversion

give him the map leading to the Waygate.

[VERIN] The city's burning. The Amyrlin requires your strength to protect Cairhien. [LEANE] I've been told to watch the boy. [VERIN] This is an order, Leane Sedai. (from Liandrin or Lanfear?) I'll take his shield. [LEANE] Don't let her get close to you. (still doesn't know Mo is "stilled") [MOIRAINE] You are very clever with your words, Sister. (did not realise that she couldn't have known she'd need help) [VERIN] The Dragon Reborn. I'd say you've spent long enough in Cairhien, wouldn't you?

There's a Waygate hidden in the city. (how did she know she'd need to plan for this from the morning she arrived in Cairhien ? Lanfear or Liandrin but really just Lanfear has if not herself she'd give the order trough Liandrin) [MOIRAINE] That's just a rumor. [VERIN] With a grain of truth. An Ogier Stedding once stood in the inner city center. Cairhien families built right over it. Here. [VERIN] Where will you take him? [MOIRAINE] Falme. Toman Head. [VERIN] "Above Toman's Head shall he proclaim himself bannered 'cross the sky in fire." ( here's the reason you might be looking for if not for compulsion by Liandrin when she followed her to "go see the keeper") You plan to have him declare himself the Dragon Reborn. The Wheel weaves.

scene

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Goals:

If we get attacked you'll take her there. This will be our escape route in case we ever need it.

Alanna: Backup

[LAN] Good work. We'll take him from here to the Waygate. ( did not take the map or hear them speak, Verin and Thomas followed as he had the same destination than the one they had planned for Rand) Just make sure that we're not followed. [ALANNA] You're not alone in this any longer, Sister. But you need to hurry. This city is not safe. I hope you're worth this, boy. Light be with you. [LAN] Let's go.

sceane

Meanwhile, Siuan isn't worried about the dragon reborn being protected by a single abled Aes Sedai when she knows that it probably is one of the Forsaken, she carries out her duty as Aes Sedai and Amyrlin Seat with the utmost calm. She even seemed bored of it for a second. Then again, in the utmost calm and collected manner, she sees the only Aes Sedai supposed to be shielding the boy and doesn't pannick and order that they rush there and find him, NO, she calmly ask who's shielding her son and it's only when she hears Verin's name that she's not okay anymore, suddenly she needs time to process what she just heard and then leave in a rush.

[SIUAN] Link with me. [LEANE] I'm here, Mother. [SIUAN] Who's shielding the boy? [LEANE] Verin Sedai. You… you sent her. [SIUAN] Lead your Sisters and heal the injured. That boy must not leave the city. -> something is wrong I have enemies I did not expect and doubts to clear he mustn't leave before they are cleared. [EXHALES]

All the while, Lan is still oblivious that something is wrong and is just following the plan.

[LAN] It should be somewhere. There. (did not use the map) [MOIRAINE] You'll have to channel into it. Split it open with sheer force if you have to. [LAN] No, he won't. You're going to open it. [MOIRAINE] Just do it. [LAN] Look at Moiraine. With the Source. [MOIRAINE] Lan. [LAN] Not just your eyes. What do you see? [MOIRAINE] Don't. [RAND] It looks like a knot tied together. [MOIRAINE] That's im… It's impossible. (see, this woman really wouldn't allow herself to even think about it, Rand tells her he see them, yet she won't believe it)

[LAN INFODUMPING BECAUSE MOIRAINE IS STILL BEING STUBBORN ABOUT HER "STILLING"] There's a story from the Age of Legends about the Foresaken's powers… a skill that's been lost for thousands of years… to tie off weaves and leave them in place. It never made sense to me, Moiraine. (reminder that it is proof he went to Siuan with doubts about this) What you're feeling? Ishamael didn't still you. Not even a Forsaken could do that alone. It is a shield that he's tied off, which means…

[MOIRAINE] It can be removed. (finally) [LAN] Yes. [RAND] What do I need to do? [LAN] You don't have the skill to untie this knot. You'll have to cut it. [MOIRAINE] I trust you. [LAN] Go on. Cut through it. [MOIRAINE] I feel it. I feel it. Thank you. Thank you. [LAN] I am sorry it took me so long to do my duty.( it took you 4 day and nights but go off king)

scene

House Sanche-Madragoran + House Lanfear-Al'Thor

Siuan arrives, shields Rand as he was super dense and leave Lan alone.

[LAN] Stop! No!

Siuan yeets Lan to the side, she does not have the time to explains and maybe he lied to her too.

[SIUAN] Close the Waygate, Moiraine. Now. -> she needs a proof You lied to me about being stilled. -> the aes sedai way obvi

[MOIRAINE not suprised to see her as she knew they were hiding something from her, and she must have her coming with her Siuan tingle.] No. I cannot. -> ok cool you didn't but you know she doesn't literally mean lie -.- I've been more truthful with you than anyone else. -> this just means that she told her the truth more than to anyone else, not that she told her all of it. Moiraine speaking in codes is tiring sometimes.

[SIUAN reminds her, in an attempt to convice Moiraine to close the Waygate herself. ]

We failed, Moiraine. -> They did fail together At the Eye of the World, you failed. -> She did fail at the eye. The stakes are too high to fail again. -> stating facts

Close the Waygate. -> she asked

[MOIRAINE being the bratty bottom that she is] also where was she going ? SO dramatic i swear, she turns around and start walking to the Waygate as if Siuan was just going to unshield Rand and let her leave because she said no) No. [SIUAN] I don't want to force you.-> but I need and have to know.

You swore to obey me on the Oath Rod. An unbreakable oath, bound by the One Power. -> Moiraine knows , she knows she voices it because she doesn't want to have to use it, feels cornered and is trying to convince and brace herself for whatever will come of it if Moiraine ends up forcing her to use it. A real betrayal or she just violated her wife because of this damned Mission. Both, horrific for her.

Siuan… -> surely Moiraine understood after hearing this what was really going on for Siuan. She doesn't know if she can trust her anymore. For Siuan, surely Moiraine understood why she insisted so much and was ready to do what she never even though about as a possibility or as something that was anything but just wrong ( throwback to Lan's bond in the first suiaraine meeting)

Close it. -> this one feels like she's desperate at this point for her to close it there, not the same intonation at all, she's bracing herself for what is coming. No more feelings, no more asking, no more plea, no more bargaining, she has too know before it's too late, she orders. Even though, that's the intent she puts behind the intonation we can still see it on her face, hear it in her voice, see it in her eyes and in the way she moves.

[SOFTLY] Siuan… -> this one must have felt like a ruse, the same way Moiraine first rejected Siuan's touch because she knew what would happen. The facade would break into pieces and she'd give in. Here, Moiraine softly calling her name, almost like she's begging, after she's been warned, after her herself showed how much she just needed her to at least close it did not feel like something she could allow herself to hear so she cuts her off and the rest is history.

Moiraine Damodred… [MOIRAINE] No, if you have ever loved me, don't do this. [SIUAN] … I command you… … to close the Waygate.

House Lanfer-Al'Thor

[MOIRAINE surprised to even see Lanfear as she thought she escaped having to deal with her, when Verin freed her. I believe that she pieces things together here, not all of it but just enough to understand what she couldn't believe happened to her from Siuan, the last person she'd think would ever do this to her just the moment before she arrived, they did not talk but she understood]

Lanfear.

[LANFEAR LAUGHS]

[MOIRAINE] She's too strong, Siuan. Don't. No. [LANFEAR] I told you the next time I saw you two together, I'd kll her. [RAND] You're not going to touch her. Not if you want my help.

[LANFEAR] Every day you grow more like Lews.

Lucky for you, a broken Amyrlin is more useful to me than a dead one.

[SIUAN] Moiraine, please. (go)

[LAN] Moiraine, please. (come)

Highly recommend you watch this scene in particular

Conclusion

All along Daes Dae'Mar was being played, and we failed to realise that in the current game of the houses we were witnessing, there were 4 houses.

House Lanfear-Al'thor

Lanfear

Verin

Tomas

Rand

Liandrin

Barthanes

House Damodred

Moiraine

Anvaere Damodred (unknowingly)

Siuan

Lan

Alanna, Ihvon & Maksim

House Sanche-Mandragoran

Siuan

Lan

Moiraine Damodred (unknowingly)

Alanna, Ihvon & Maksim

House of The Dragon

Goals: different for each person but utltimately related the Dragon.

Rand Al'thor : leave Cairhien, to go to Falme to free Egwene

Moiraine Damodred : Help Rand, avoid Lanfear.

Siuan Sanche : Help Moiraine, Protect her and Rand from the Forsaken

Al'Lan Mandragoran : Help Moiraine, Protect her from the Forsaken and secondarily Rand.

Alanna Mosvani : Help the dragon reborn/ Moiraine

Ihvon : Help Alanna, the dragon reborn/Moiraine

Maksim : Help Alanna, the dragon reborn/Moiraine

Verin Mathwin : Help fulfill the prophecy

Tomas: Help and assist Verin

The Daugther of the night, Lanfear : Seperate Moiraine and Rand, Kill her, Get Rand to Falme

Liandrin Guirale : Kill Moiraine, Help Lanfear

Barthanes Damodred (unkowingly) : Help his house regain it's lost glory

4 houses playing against each other and for each other at the same time. What went wrong ? Everything. Who won ? No one. What was left of what was before ? Nothing.

I wanted to be a little dramatic. On a more serious note, they all lost and won something, except for Barthanes.So that is all.

To sum it all up, everything that went down with Siuan and Moiraine was genuine and real, Lan and her had a plan all along, everything was going fine until the other players of this game of houses started to place their pawns on the board to try and win the game. In the end, as they were all playing for each other and against each other at the same time no one really won.

On the first board,

Moiraine regained her powers, but still has to deal with Lanfear, Siuan is hurt and in a precarious position for both herself and their mission because she did not listen to Lan and trusted her.

Lan regained Moiraine's trust but Lanfear is still a threat and Siuan.

Rand is still manipulated and a pawn in someone else's game, no matter how much he thought he wasn't anymore because of Lanfear.

Siuan is heart broken that she had to do this to Moiraine, even though her plan still worked and Moiraine regained her powers which is a win but then again did she really win, when she's lying on the floor, hurt and surrounded by enemies, even in the tower, where she was supposed to be at her safest and strongest ?

Lanfear gets Rand but Moiraine isn't dead and she even have to deal with Lan now, as she said in E08, they're dead weight.

On the second board,

Liandrin being Black Ajah is known because of Elayne, Eggy and Nynaeve but now, even Anvaere.

Verin is black ajah and known ( or least suspected to be) because of Siuan (thanks to Leane), because she knows Verin couldn't have known about her plan to help Moiraine or known that she'd ever need to escape. Tomas goes with Verin.

Alanna and Maksim seems to have lost Ihvon.

Thank you for reading, answering the poll, carefully listening and watching. Leave a comment and tell me what you think about this theory-analysis of episode 7. I'd love to hear your opinions, answer your questions etc…

Well, it is finally over.

Onto the next one now,

Here..."Daes dae'Mar theory-analysis : What has been proved so far ?"

Update :

"Siuaraine: Is Moiraine's the top ?" will be posted today. Not too long ( edit : got distracted so let's say tomorrow) after this post actually. It's sitting in the draft.

Next up :

WoT about: "Rand gets no hero moments"

WoT about: "The writers keep giving time to plots that aren't *bad*, but do nothing to actually serve the story."

WoT about : "Sure, but “pillow friends” didn’t really ever imply exclusive long-

Torashi ask :

WoT abouts are Non-reader to Bookcloaks/ Book Reader takes and answers to questions I might get or answers whether I got them on Tumblr, Twitter, or Reddit. So, essentially, they might be in the form of a discussion

WoT about : "Sure, but “pillow friends” didn’t really ever imply exclusive long-term relationships."

WoT about: "The writers keep giving time to plots that aren't *bad*, but do nothing to actually serve the story."

Siuaraine : Is Moiraine the top ?

Short, unexplained answer : NO.

Long and explained version : No but,

I don't think that Siuan is a top or that Moraine is a bottom. Not even that they are both switches. What I think is that they don't really fit into these labels anymore. (They might have at some point but not anymore, so far into their relationship). Submissive or dominant, it's something else, but "top" or "bottom": I feel are too rigid for something that's most likely fluid.

But then again, If Siuan had to be put in one of the two she would be the top but something like a service one.

"Someone who is a top in bed but likes to service the other person (mostly only doing things for the other persons pleasure ) rather then dominating them."-Urban dictionary

"An individual who applies sensation or control with the bottom's pleasure in mind, rather than their own."- Wikipedia

“A top who acts according to what pleases their bottom, which pleases them.”

Which does not fit into the multitude of narrative that are implied by her just belonging in the role of the "top".

As for Moiraine if she had to be put in one of those she would be a bottom, no doubts when it comes to New Spring but the show made this particular dynamic of theirs more complex by keeping Rosamund's ad-lib ("On your knees") in the show. Yet, she would still be a bottom and still is. Only, she wouldn't fit the narrative and implications of the role either. She'd be switching between some particular types of bottoms, she could be a regular bottom, a bratty one or a power one. It'll depend on how she feels basically or on what she needs.

A regular bottom would be what's most natural for her, whether she'd be bratty or a power one would depend on how confident she feels ordering a Siuan around at the time.

"Gay terminology, Similar to a bottom, but a specific variety. A power bottom tends to be in charge, and feels most powerful when bottoming, the one who bottoms is the one on the "throne" so to speak, "taking" the Top".- Urban dictionary

"A bottom or submissive sex partner who refuses or fights against the top/dominant partners orders in a bratty way" - Urban dictionary

Let's demonstrate how she still is the "bottom" (reminder that I think these labels are ill fitting for them).

1. Moraine's been flustered any time Siuan was around or she thought about her :

During the first Siuaraine meeting in the Hall of the White Tower, as soon as Siuan arrives and turns around, Moiraine is thrown off balance. Her eyelashes flutter uncontrollably, her breathing is irregular, so much so that she breathes trough her mouth as if she needed to catch her breath because she had stopped breathing the whole time (also, when Siuan lift her gaze to look at her she instantly bow, almost, if not in sync with her and everyone closely follows after). scene

Before going to the hut, when she's preparing to go to Siuan and Lan arrives we can see that she's ridiculously happy and excited of finally reuniting with her, she's eager to get there and just want Lan to finally leave so that she can go and see and be with her. As Lan is leaving she gets all flustered again just thinking about her and has to exhale to compose herself before she even starts channelling to activate her ter'angreal; scene

In the Hut, she somewhat pretends to be calm, composed and unaffected because she knows that Siuan must be mad at her about the hall. She does not move, stays quiet, just listens but then as she listens to her, looks at her, it becomes harder, she starts to smile and when Siuan notice her do so, she orders.

"Don't smile.",

Moiraine obeys.

"Am I forgiven, Mother?", she teases. Siuan is not in the mood for it and reminds her harshly.

"I hate it when you call me that. Moiraine is still not moving an inch, she waits and Siuan continues

"So much for the Amyrlin Seat remaining neutral without favourite" she stands up closes the distances between them and as she does so, Moiraine follows her with her eyes and glances at her lips before looking back into her eyes and Siuan finishes on

"No life, no love of one's own, nothing but the seat". Moiraine asks

"When have we ever followed the rules?" It's a reminder. Siuan finally touches her, she lays her hand onto her cheek and Moiraine sinks into it for a moment then looks back at her, Siuan grabs her by the neck and gently pulls her in for a kiss, a short but deep and intense kiss, she pulls back to look at her again, it's still hard to believe that she really is there, Moiraine wanted more but stays passive and

only take what she's given, she too is looking at her, she glances at her tattoos, still not touching her and only hovering her hand over her skin (I never realised before too) she realises that they are new.

"These are new" she says.

"A year, maybe two"

"you've been gone such a long time" Siuan answers softly, almost whispering, she lays her hand back on the other side of her neck and pulls her back in for a kiss, maybe more, as she does so Moiraine suddenly speaks and says something reminding her of their performance in front of the hall earlier, stopping her from going further, she's surprised, looks at her, considers saying something and prefer not to and questions her instead with her look. She (might ) thinks

"is it what you want?" and somehow she knows, her puzzled expression turns into a quick smirk before changing for the last time before she descends. It had turned into an assertive, almost intimidating look warning her about what was to come.What did Moiraine do ? She ordered.

"On your knees." scene

( Yeah, i ended up writing it like I was writing a fanfic, i know, was not intended, I guess you can't escape this happening when you describe this kind of scene. )

2. Moiraine cannot challenge or resist Siuan :

In the hut :

After she composed herself before coming in :

Do not approach because she knows Siuan's mad and that she'll get scolded for the hall.

Is told not to smile, obeys no questions asked or backtalk.

Later,

Siuan : Rest.

''You think I can sleep now'' (resist order)

kisses "I'm here"

close her eyes to rest (obeys)

scene

When going to see Siuan in her study :

Ny : Let her wait

Mo: "Siuan Sanche only waits for one woman and it's not you."" while leaving to go see her wife at the speed of gays that she regained in E08 whether she's followed or not.

She will not risk making her wife angry or upset even though she'd actually be waiting for her and she knows it. (she also probably just wanted to be the most amount of time near and around hee when she could be before she'd have to leave but I included this scene because it also gives use some insight into their relationship a part from the fact that it tells us that Mo is head over heels for Siuan, possesive about her as she won't share any of the special treatments she gets by being Mother's favorite, not even with them and that she's proud and overly confident (in a good way) when it comes to her wife and will not hesitate to be more open when she can allow it because no ones around)

In Siuan's study :

Just watching and listening to Siuan, we can see that Moiraine's visibly fawning, melting,folding, everything over her. Had Ny and Eggy been able to pay attention to something else but Siuan they would have seen it too.

The woman has more colors on her face there, after their night together than during all of S1 and S2 combined.

scene

In the Hall (oath rod marriage) :

Siuan: ''By the light and the hope of my salvation and rebirth, I, Moiraine Sedai swear to obey the judgement of the Amyrlin Seat and never return til she calls me home or may the creator face turn from me and darkness consume my soul.''

Moiraine: ''By the light and the hope of my salvation and rebirth, I, Moiraine Sedai, DO swear to HONOUR and obey Siuan Sanche, daugther of the river, clever as pike and strong as the tides and never return until she calls me home….. or may the creator face turn from me and darkness consume my soul"

In her family home, in Cairhien, when Anvaere tells her that the Amyrlin Seat demanded an audience with her:

she's visibly distraught

S2: In the hall of the Sun palace

Their meeting follows the same pattern as the one they had in 1x06 ( shoutout to those who saw my thread on the similarities between these two episodes on twitter), even though, this time she's not overjoyed by the idea but rather apprehensive as she wanted to keep her away too, as she's had been doing with Lan.

reminder in case you don't how that's what she had intended on doing with Siuan in some type of way : related post

As I as said these meetings follow the same thread:

Confrontation ( Why did you do this?/ Why didn't you tell me ?

Scolding-> ( idiotic risks/ Lan's consent)

Comfort ( Siuan's closes the distance and initiate contact by first laying her hand on her cheek, kiss her etc../ Siuan closes the distance, initiate contact in the same way but no kissing for obvious reasons (+ it's cairhien)

Tension/Discomfort ( Exile necessity/ "it's time I meet Rand'Al Thor")

She also pretends that she's calm and unphased but we can see that she is not able to look Siuan's eyes, that even when she does, it is part of her act and she surrenders as soon as she tries to correct and mask what she truly feeks like.(except when it's not about her, them, Lan but the dragon reborn and their mission)

When Siuan approach she leans back slightly, and when she does touch her, she fights against it.

Siuan tames her bratty bottom, and I mean that she literally does and proceeds as such:

She acknowledges the defying gesture and adjust accordingly

Instead of a caress, she chooses to cup her cheek in her hand and caresses her with her thumb instead

Moiraine folds here and there and melts into her touch and loses any ability to think of anything but Siuan until she's pulled out of it when she decides to let go of the hold that she has on her as she's telling her about her meeting Rand. For half of the sentence, her hand is still on her and Mo seems to just be lost in her eyes, as she somehow does not react at all, as if she couldn't compute what she was being told and it's only when Siuan ends and says Rand Al'Thor and finally let go of her that we finally get the reaction we'd expect from her.

scene

When they fought about Rand in the Sun Palace :

She dropped the ball when they were arguing about Rand.

After, she's angered Siuan she doesn't hold back her words anymore and at the end Mo surrenders, no backtalk, no more bargaining nothing just silence in compliance to what Siuan said would happen from now.

scene

"Siuan's dominant but she would sub for Moiraine":

As for those who agrees that, Siuan clearly is the dominant one of the two but would be more submissive in private or with Moiraine, well you have been showed thanks to the previous chapters that this simply was not true as she is still as dominant as she is when she's in public and fulfilling her role as Amyrlin Seat with Moiraine and in private. She's only softer as she actually cares about Moiraine's well being, needs and wants probably more than her own as she ended up being the one becoming Amyrlin Seat when of the two Moiraine would fit better (dominance set aside).

"Siuan's a bottom, she'd use the opportunity to let go":

For those who believes that she would be Moiraine's bottom because she'd take the opportunity to let go of having to always be in charge, I understand why you would think that. As it makes perfect sense for someone to want to let go of a mask that they had to wear all day long as it is exhausting (I understand on a personal level) but you're just mistaken about what exactly the mask she has to wear consist of.

To be brief and directly go to the point: Siuan is naturally dominant and takes on roles involving being in charge of her own volition. She's so dominant that she steps into these roles without realising it which is something that sometimes could have gotten her in trouble because of how she acted. It's as natural as breathing is, and as easy as we've all seen that channelling is for her. She doesn't pretend. This is what made the Amyrlin Seat fit her more than she fitted it.

Simply put, the Amyrlin Seat does not restrain her because she has to rule, lead, and command 24/7, this she does even without intending to do so. It's having to suppress her quirks, behaving, the superfluous manners that comes with the title and " sorinde, mashinde, obiyar isain shai".

Sorinde, Mashinde, Obiyar isain shai. ( No life, No love of one's own, Nothing but the Seat) - Siuan Sanche

e.g : Alone with wife and kids, she specifically states that it's Siuan not the Amyrlin Seat today, she actually never put on the amyrlin mode.

scene

e.g : With Rand she distances herself from her role and only includes herself in the group of Aes Sedais.

"Do you know what Tower Laws says the Amylin must do if she finds the Dragon Reborn ?''

''We are meant to cage you, keep you shielded, channelling only what we want, when we want and when the last battle comes you'll be the best weapon in our arsenal not our general.''

scenes : First Meeting/Six Months. Huh!

For those still not seeing why I used Eggy, Rand and Ny as examples it's because Siuan isn't only sweet caring etc…she's not putting on a mask when she stops smiling because Nynaeve's being disrectpectful or when she lift her finger and stops them in their tracks. She's alone with Mo and their kids. When she's being silly and cute and then intimidating and showing and/or exuding dominance, these are both instances of her being herself. She's not switching to the Amyrlin Seat Mode.

The Amyrlin Seat Mode is her being stiff, barely moving and standing straight chin up and no slouch. It's her not using her hands as much or not at all and not making fish metaphors or being as expressive. That's what she had to suppress and what would create the need to let go that you attribute to her having to rule and she gets it back in the hut which is why she hates being called Mother by Moiraine.

scenes : Cairhein arrival/Logain

P.S : There are other reasons why she even has to pretend even though she fitted the role but they would have to be proved by spoilers from new spring so I won't rely on them or add them.

As I feel that me pointing out how different she actually is when she has to act (or mask) for an audience or just official matters versus how she is when she's herself with no reason to pretend is enough.

Now, obviously, anyone can headcanon Siuan and Mo how they prefer it to be. I myself do not think that they fit into these boxes so I don't really think about them this way but as much as this is true for me, it still doesn't change the fact that Moiraine is still protrayed to be a bottom and sub and Siuan a top and dom which makes my actual point of view on this matter as much of an headcanon as it makes yours one too (if it is different obvi), and it is fine.

PS: if you like my thoughts (or just the way I think about things) and would like to get my opinion on something as a non-reader, feel free to ask, the feature's here just for that, also sorry for the delay to those who waited, might be nobody but we never know. I had some connections issues today and couldn't post before.

Here : "WoT about: Rand gets no hero moments"

Siuaraine : Je te laisserai des mots

What do you think is the story that I'm trying to tell ?

Loneliness

Pairing: Moiraine SedaixReader, Lan MandragoranxReader (platonic)

Word Count: 1696 Words

Warning: none

Summary: After a long time Moiraine comes back to the Tower and the two of you reunite.

A/n: So I haven't written anything in a long time so be nice haha. I hope you like it, it's also my first time writing for Moiraine cause I feel like we don't have enough fanfics of her!! Feedback, Comment or Reblog is appreciated!!🤍

■-----------------------------------------■

You had heard it in the morning, over breakfast: Moiraine Sedai is back in the tower. You couldn't believe it. It had been four years since you'd seen her, since you'd talked to her. There had been times, where you wondered if she was even still alive. So little messages found their way into the tower.

You used the first free minute you had to find her. You wandered around the Tower, asking for her, looking around. You were led to her old room, the one you hadn't been in for such a long time. You couldn't be near it, not without her here.

Your breath was shaky, and your hand was trembling as you lifted it to knock on the door. For a second you hesitated, afraid of what would find you behind the door. How much had she changed? Did she still want you or had she forgotten you?

You took a deep breath and pulled yourself together. Knocking three times with more force than expected. It took only a few seconds before the door was opened.

Time stopped. Your eyes met hers, and you forgot how to breath.

She looked as beautiful as ever, her long hair falling over her shoulders gracefully as always. Her slim and yet strong figure perfectly hugged by the light blue linen she wore.

If one didn't know her so well, one could have thought she was unmoved by seeing you. But you knew her. Her shoulders sank just a tiny bit and her features softened. But it was her eyes glistening with unshed tears, that brought you back to life. You took a deep, shaky breath before you fell into her arms.

She let go of the door to hug you back. Taking a step into the room together you buried your head in the crook of her neck. You heard the door fall shut behind you and knowing that no one saw the two of you, you pulled back and kissed her.

You felt her hand on your cheek, wandering to the back of your neck, into your hair. The touch was gentle and soft, not rushed at all. She made sure to make you feel all the love she had for you with as little words as possible.

After you broke apart, you pulled her closer and cupped her cheeks. Staring into her beautiful blue eyes.

"I've missed you, Moiraine." You whispered the words, it felt like your body wasn't ready for anything louder. It felt more intimate like this, close together and quietly.

"I've missed you so much."

"I know, my love." She kissed you again, very lightly and gentle, before taking your hand and pulling you to the other side of the room.

"Sit. I've got something for you." She pulled out a beautiful yellow gown and handed it over. It was made out of thick fabric and looked like it was good for cold winter days.

"Oh, Moiraine. It's beautiful. Shall I try it on?" She nodded and you started changing. Spinning around in the gown you laughed light-hearted, like Moiraine wasn't going to leave in a few days and this gown would be all that you had left of her.

You stopped and looked at her questioning. Moiraine looked you up and down, lightly stroked over your body with her hands and smirked.

"You do look amazing." You laughed and slapped her playfully. With a swift motion she pulled you in at the waist, which led your bodies to collide softly. You gasped in surprise before her lips met yours again.

You pressed yourself closer to her, kissing her passionately. Slowly you started to shove her clothes off of her shoulders and placed gentle kisses on her neck. Moiraine opened a few buttons at the top of your gown and her fingers lightly danced over your exposed skin.

But before you could start really taking of her clothes someone knocked and Lan entered. Hastily you closed your gown, and Moiraine slowly sorted her clothes back into place. You knew that Lan often saw Moiraine naked, but he didn't have to see you naked as well.

Looking up, you saw him grin at the two of you. "I'm sorry for intruding..." You stopped him right there and jumped into his arms.

"You are not!" You laughed as he picked you up and hugged you tightly. He knew you loved that, he didn't. But whatever, it didn't kill him to do that every few years.

In general Moiraine and Lan were very quiet, pulled together and pragmatic people, while you were a whirlwind. Always laughing and talking way too much. But with you, they could both relax and laugh some more. You were their sunshine.

You were, in many ways quite similar to most Ais Sedais of the yellow ajah. You did have a penchant for extravagance. Hence, the embroidered and garnished gown from Moiraine. She knew you all too well. Yet you weren't arrogant or aloof as many other yellows.

"I'm so happy to see the both of you again!" You beamed at them, happier than you had been in four years and yet you felt a wave of sadness wash over you. Sadness over the thought of them having to leave again, of not being able to feel Moiraines skin under your fingers, to not hear her voice again.

You pulled yourself together and pushed the sadness down.

"Come on! I'll show you everything that changed." You took their hands and pulled them with you.

The day was beautiful, full of laughter and happiness. You wished, your life could always be like this. Having become an Ais Sedai hadn't been your choice entirely, you loved it, but it could have a lot of negative sides. Family, Love, Freedom was often put last.

Naturally you were a person who needed all those things. As a child you had always wished to have a wife, a family, children and a quiet life. Always being alone for such a long time without Moiraine, without Lan, was hard for you. Harder than you liked to admit.

At the end of the day, Moiraine had to go to the Amyrlin Seat to talk about her mission and Lan stayed with you. You watched the sun go down from the top of the tower.

"Lan?" He slightly turned his head towards you and waited for you to speak.

"Don't tell Moiraine yet, but I'm coming with you." Lan opened his mouth, ready to say something to convince you otherwise, but you stopped him.

"Don't. You know you can't change my mind. I'm sure of my decision. I can't stay here on my own again. I just... I can't. You don't know what it's like. The two of you, you always have each other. You're never alone. I'm always alone."

Lan looked straight ahead, nodding his head slowly. He took your hand in his and squeezed it. That was all you needed, he had accepted your decision. Now you just had to tell Moiraine. Which was most certainly going to be a lot more complicated.

"Come in!" you exclaimed as someone knocked on your door. Looking up from your bag, you saw Moiraine enter. You went on packing your bag and gave her a fast kiss as you walked by her.

Her eyes followed you around the room, as you opened the wardrobe, as you closed the bag and looked at Moiraine expectantly.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm packing." You knew that wasn't what she wanted to hear, but you just loved annoying her.

"(Y/n)." Her voice held a warning tone. You chuckled and sat down defeated.

Looking up at her, you tried to find the fitting words. It was clear that Moiraine would disapprove. You had had the idea of coming with her before, nearly seven years ago. She had rejected the idea immediately, and you hadn't wanted to argue with her in the few days you had together. You were cleverer this time, waiting till the last second, so that she simply wouldn't have any time to argue with you.

"Moiraine, I know how you think about this, but I'm coming with you. Lan already knows."

"You will not, (Y/n)." She was absolutely serious, but so were you. Standing up you walked closer to her.

"You don't have a say in this. I've made my decision, and I'll stand with it." Moiraine shook her head, for a moment lost for words.

"You can't. It's too dangerous, it's safer in the Tower."

"It may be safe, but it's so lonely. I feel your absence in everything that I do alone, in every place I go without you. I can't do this any longer. You and Lan are all the family I have. Wherever you are, that is home, that is safety." You wiped a stray tear away that fell down Moiraine's cheek.

"You don't know what it's like out there, (Y/n). I don't want you to get hurt." You chuckle at that. You knew exactly what it was like out there. She told you, not even half of it, but that was enough to get a good picture of it.

Every time she came back, she brought back a new scar. A new wound that needed healing. It was hell knowing she was out there, and you couldn't do anything for her. But now you could.

"It's better to travel with another Ais Sedai at your side. You can't heal yourself, and Lan can't either. I can. I'm a healer, Moiraine. And a pretty good one at that. I can't help you if I'm in the Tower, and you aren't, and one day you'll come back too late. And I won't be able to help you anymore. Please, let me come and be helpful." Moiraine slowly nodded. You cupped her cheeks and kissed her gently.

Looking back you saw the Tower getting smaller and smaller. Looking ahead you saw Moiraine and Lan on their horse talking about the Dragon Reborn. And even though a part of you was scared of everything that was yet to come, you beamed as you thought of your future with them. Your family.

The Wheel's Will

Pairing: Moiraine SedaixReader

Word Count: 3975

Warning: panic attack, character badly hurt, sex, thigh riding, cunnilingus

Request: Hi, I like your fanfics aloot, could you write a moraine x reader where there’s romance angst and smut of course. Where reader is one of the five, and with the time they fell in love 🥰 for the angst something about moraine get hurt very badly in some battle and reader doesn’t know how to channel and they couldn’t help her or maybe a fight between the of them (@nohajnsstuff)

A/n: I hope you like it and it's how you imagined it @nohajnsstuff !!!

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It had been a long day. The five of you, Moiraine and Lan had travelled far and without break. The sun bad set an hour ago, and it was hard to really see anything between the trees. But Lan kept saying that you couldn't rest here, it was too dangerous. You had to travel further.

You were all tired and didn't really concentrate on your surroundings anymore, when a few Trollocs shot out of the dark. The last time they had crossed your path was at home, in the village. That had been almost a month ago, you had all seen Nynaeve die that day because of these monsters.

Rand and Lan grabbed their swords and jumped off the horses and Moiraine started channelling to fight the Trollocs. Perrin, Egwene, Mat and you felt absolutely useless. You couldn't channel, nor did you have a weapon that would help you in a fight. All you could do was watch and try to scare the Trollocs away with your horses.

Even though it was scary and a situation like this meant fearing for your life, you were being distracted by Moiraine. Sitting on her horse, concentrating, she was channelling and the weaves around her made her look incredibly beautiful. She was the only Ais Sedai you had ever seen, but you were sure no one looked as good as Moiraine when channelling.

Rand was distracted by a Trolloc to your left and Lan was fighting two at a time. So he saw the Trolloc approaching Moiraine just a second to late. When he killed him, his sword had already found its way into Moiraine's shoulder.

You let out a scream and jumped off your horse. Moiraine slowly fell off of hers and Lan caught her mid-air. Rand turned around ready to kill more Trollocs, but froze as he saw Moiraine.

You kneeled at Moiraine's side and pulled her shirt to the side, exposing the wound. Your breath hitched and fear was clearly written all over your face. The others came over as well and Egwene gasped as she saw the wound.

"She can heal herself, right?" You looked at Lan hopeful, but his eyes told you everything. Panic rose in you, "Right?".

"An Ais Sedai can heal everyone else, but never herself." Your eyes flickered up to Lan and back to Moiraine's face, distorted by pain.

"It's alright, (Y/n). I'm fine." Moiraine's voice came out thin and broken. She was not fine, that was clear to all of you standing around her.

Lan looked around you, into the darkness of the woods. He was worried that the Trollocs would come back. He looked at Moiraine and then at the five of you.

"We can't stay here, it's too dangerous. There might be more Trollocs on their way. Can you stand up and ride Moiraine?" She nodded carefully and with your help she stood up. She had a hard time getting up on her horse, but once she was sitting in the saddle it was fine.

You kept an eye on her, riding right beside her at all times. Lan was occupied with looking for Trollocs and a safe place to spend the night and the others were talking to keep their mind off of the things they had seen.

You were incredibly worried. Moiraine's face lost more and more colour, she looked weaker by the minute. The Trolloc poison was infiltrating her. You rode so close to her that you could reach over if she couldn't hold herself up anymore.

"You don't have to do this, (Y/n)." Moiraine looked at you and chuckled, but it came out weaker than usual. Proving your point, that you did have do this.

"Your weak, your skin looks like snow. I won't let you fall off the horse, cause you can't hold yourself up anymore. Let's just hope Lan finds some place to rest. You'll be alright in no time." You wanted to convince yourself more than Moiraine, but she just nodded.

Luckily not much later Lan decided that you could rest now. He had found a clearing with a lot of dry wood to make a fire. You had to keep Moiraine warm, it was the least you could do.

You helped Moiraine down and made her a place to lay down that was a little more comfortable than the bare ground. You didn't leave her side for one second until the next morning.

"Lan, she looks even worse than yesterday. She's white as snow and the wound is getting infected or something. I don't know. We have to get to the Tower, fast." He nodded, you knew that he could feel her pain, all of it. It was hard for you to just see her like this. You couldn't imagine what it must be like for him.

"She can't ride on her own. I'll take her." You went back and woke her up, she was barely awake. Constantly on the verge of unconsciousness. Perrin and Mat helped you get her up on your horse and the seven of you left the clearing.

Egwene rode beside you, looking nearly as worried as you. She gave you a comforting smile, but you weren't sure she believed it herself.

"She'll be alright. She's strong." Perrin said over his shoulder to the two of you. Rand was the only one not saying anything about Moiraine. He had been suspicious of her from the beginning. He annoyed you, she had healed his father, and yet he didn't seem to care about her at all.

A single tear rolled down your cheek, and you held Moiraine closer to you, as if you could prevent her from slipping into unconsciousness completely, if you just held onto her tight enough.

"Be strong, hold on Moiraine. Please." You whispered into her ear and felt her slightly move her head as an answer. Perrin was right, she was strong. She would be okay.

Even when it felt like the wheel didn't want her to be okay. Trollocs attacked you again. Lan and Rand were good, but not that good. There were too many for them to fight on their own. So Lan led you to Shadar Logoth.

It was quiet and abandoned, no one would attack you here. You were safe. Or so you thought.

Lan and you cared for Moiraine. She was still unconscious and very weak. You tried to clean her wound a bit, but it didn't help very much.

"We need Nynaeve. She would know something to do." Egwene stood behind you, looking over your shoulder.

"She would probably be too stubborn to help her." You spat out. It was true, Nynaeve could be incredibly stubborn. Annoyingly stubborn. But she had been Egwene's best friend.

"I'm sorry. I wish Nynaeve was here too." You tried to smile at Egwene, but it came out lopsided and sad. She smiled back and left the hall to look for the others.

A few minutes past before you heard high-pitched screams from the outside. Except for Moiraine, Lan and you all the others were outside. You looked at Lan with panic in your eyes. He stood up and went looking for what was happening. Leaving you and Moiraine alone in the darkness.

As you covered Moiraine with your jacket she woke up and looked around confused. If you remembered correctly, the last time she was awake you had still been in the forest, on your horse. She looked horrible and yet so beautiful. Her face pale as the snow, dark rings around her eyes and hair sticking to her face.

"Where are we?" She whispered. You looked around but couldn't see Lan.

"In some sort of hall in... I think Lan said, it was called Shadar Logoth." Moiraine's weak eyes widened, and she grabbed your hand.

"Where is Lan?" As you turned around to look for him, he was already there. He must have felt, that she was awake. They looked at each other for a second before Moiraine shook her head.

"You've killed us all."

Lan picked Moiraine up and carried her towards the door. Hastily you followed them.

"What's happening?" You left the hall and immediately took a step back, colliding with the closed door behind you.

A black shadow was crawling over everything. The buildings, the stones and floors. It wasn't getting closer, it was rather leaving. Like it was following something, or someone.

"Something dark has been awakened here. Come on, we have to leave." You got on your horse and Lan helped you get Moiraine up in front of you. He got on his own horse and rode off. You followed him, holding Moiraine as close to yourself as you could. You felt her get unconscious again, body falling limp against yours.

"What about the others? We can't leave them!" You shouted at Lan and as he didn't answer you already thought he didn't hear you. But as you crossed the city limits he turned his head around and looked at you.

"We'll find them again." You nodded, feeling paralysed and just followed him. Holding onto Moiraine for dear life.

You rode until you were hidden in the darkness between the trees. Lan jumped off of his horse and helped you put Moiraine down in the soft grass. She was fading away. You didn't need a bond with her to know that.

"I've learnt a bit from Nynaeve. Maybe I can find some herbs that'll still the poison from doing its work. But that's just temporary. We have to get to the Tower."

"Do it. We'll rest for an hour, and then we'll ride to the Tower." So you got to work. You found a few herbs and made a paste out of them.

Going to Moiraine you uncovered the wound and cleaned it a bit. Before you put the paste on, you stroked her cheeks gently.

"This'll hurt Moiraine. It'll sting, but you're strong. You can do this, and in no time we'll be in the Tower, and they can heal you. Everything will be okay." You weren't even sure if she could hear you, but the words were probably more important to you than to her.

Gently you spread the herbs over the wound and the infected parts around it and covered her shoulder with some linen. You sat down in the grass next to her and covered your face with your hands.

Without any warning a sob escaped you. Your body started to shake uncontrollably and tears streamed down your face. All the pressure of the last months, especially since Moiraine was hurt, crushed you beneath its weight.

It felt like your lungs weren't working properly anymore, no air found its way into your system. You couldn't breathe. Your chest felt tight, and the tears didn't stop falling down your face. Panicking you looked up and searched Lan with your eyes.

He was by your side in mere seconds. Kneeling down he held your hand and pulled you into a hug.

"Breath, (Y/n). Its alright, she will be fine. But you have to breathe." Slowly and gently he calmed you down and rocked you in his arms. You felt silly, breaking down like this, when he was right here calm and pulled together. He should be the one crying and panicking. The two of them were bonded, they knew each other longer, better.

After you had calmed down, the two of you packed everything and lifted Moiraine back onto your horse.

You rode day and night, stopping for few breaks. Never longer than one or two hours. You were exhausted, both. But all you could think of was Moiraine. You cleaned her wound, spread new paste, new herbs on it. But nothing really seemed to help.

Lan was strong, for the both of you. Still his facade started to crumble, you could see his fear, his panic growing. Every time he looked at Moiraine's pale, sweaty face.

It had been over a week since you had really slept. More than just a quick nap in between rides. Your whole body hurt, your arms became sore of holding Moiraine up on the horse all day. But it didn't matter, nothing mattered, except for her.

The sun was just rising when you saw the Tower for the first time between the treetops. You gasped and tears formed in your eyes. Relief washed over you and Lan didn't even try to hide his relief anymore.

As you rode through Tar Valon eyes were fixated on you from all sides. They all recognized Moiraine as an Ais Sedai. But you were riding so fast, you couldn't even see individual faces. They all blurred into one big crowd.

Entering the Tower with Moiraine in Lan's arms, multiple Ais Sedai were immediately at your side. Asking questions, wanting to know what happened. Lan dismissed them all and took you and Moiraine to the healers of the yellow ajah.

You were so tired it was hard to even stand up on your feet, so after the Ais Sedai looked for wounds on you, they led you to your own room. You didn't even have the power to argue anymore.

As soon as you had crawled onto the bed, you were asleep.

As you woke up it was completely dark around you. You must have slept for quite a long time. For a second you weren't sure, where you were. But as you felt the soft fabric around you and the cool breeze on your face, you remembered what had happened.

Slowly you sat up and hugged your knees, looking outside into the starry night. You desperately wanted to see Moiraine, but you were scared what you would find if you left your room. You couldn't know for sure if she was alright, if she was still alive.

You weren't sure how much time had passed, when you took up enough courage to get up and leave your room. It could have been five minutes or two hours. You actually had no idea where to go, it was your first time in the Tower after all.

You wandered around a bit before you met a blue Ais Sedai and asked her if she knew where Moiraine was. Without another word she led you to a room close by and left you alone.

Scared of what you would find, you knocked a few times. Upon hearing Moiraine's voice call you in from behind the door, you slowly opened the door and stepped in.

Moiraine sat at her desk and looked up as she heard the door close behind you. She looked healthy, wasn't as pale anymore, and her hair fell over her shoulders, freshly washed.

Tears shot out of your eyes and your hand flew to your mouth trying to silence the sob, that escaped you. Moiraine shot up from her chair and rushed over to you.

"(Y/n), what's wrong?" Her brows were furrowed with worry and confusion.

You slowly raised your hands to her face and cupped her cheek. You needed to feel her under your fingers, to believe that she was actually real.

"You're alive." It came out quieter than planned but the two of you were so close that she still heard you.

Her lips formed a little grin as she wiped your tears away. "Of course I'm alive."

You shook your head violently: "You didn't see yourself, it was... Lan and I weren't sure you'd make it. You were so pale and weak. I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again. Ever feel your touch again."

Moiraine's eyes widened for a second at that, but she pulled herself together and gently put a strand of your hair behind your ear.

"I've experienced worse, love. Also, my job isn't done yet, and the Wheel knows-..." you cut her off by crashing your lips onto hers. She momentarily froze before grabbing your waist, pulling you closer to her and kissing back. You pull back and look her deep in the eyes, smiling shyly.

"Moiraine, I-", "Don't. Please, I wouldn't know what to do, if you're the Dragon and I would know that you- How you feel for me." You chuckle at her and stroke her cheek.

"Moiraine, I'm not the Dragon. We both know that. I'm older than the others and by far not powerful enough. It's probably Egwene or Rand, everyone can see that. And I-" you kissed her passionately before going on.

"I love you, Moiraine Sedai. And I'm so incredibly happy, that you're alive and well. I was so scared." She closed her eyes and turned her head away as if that would prevent the words from being true. You forced her to face you, even though she was still shaking her head in denial.

"Moiraine, you deserve to be loved." She slowly opened her eyes and looked at you with unspoken pain and fear in her eyes. You wished you could kiss the pain away, could give her the life she truly wanted.

She leaned forward and lightly graced your lips with hers before deepening the kiss. You pressed yourself against her, wanting to be as close as possible to her, feeling as much of her warmth as you could get.

The two of you stumbled backwards until Moiraine hit the bed and fell onto it. She pulled you with her, making you fall on top of her. You supported yourself on your hands on either side of her body and looked down at her.

"You are breathtakingly beautiful." She held your gaze for a moment before laughing and looking away. You were gently kissing her again while you started to take off her shirt and pulled it over her head. It found its way to the floor, just as your jacket and your shirt did.

"I didn't even take a bath, when we came here I fell asleep immediately, and then I came to see you." You panted between kisses, trying to get it out in a straight sentence. Moiraine just kept on kissing you and shook her head as an answer. She didn't care.

Your hand wandered down her body and lightly graced her left nipple. You planted kisses on her neck, over her collarbone and down to her shoulder. You stopped at her now healed wound and carefully stroked over it, before kissing it gently.

With your hand you squeezed her breast and played with her nipple, generating a low groan from Moiraine. You kissed her over her body further and further down. A kiss on her chest, on each breast and nipple, on her stomach and down to the rim of her skirt.

You opened the bow in the front and unwrapped her skirt, taking off all of her clothes completely and throwing them away as well. Having her completely naked right in front of you nearly made you giggle like a teenaged girl, but you managed to pull yourself together.

Your left hand remained on her breast and with the other hand you spread her legs open and held her in place at the waist. Softly you kissed her inner thighs and went upwards until you reached her core. A light kiss and blow on her centre made her shiver and a gasp escaped her. You gently spread her folds with your fingers and licked over her clit. She was practically dripping and you had just started. Your tongue played with her entrance before finding its way onto her clit again. You sucked and licked over it while your finger started to gently and slowly enter her. She shuddered at the touch and let out a low moan.

"(Y/n), please." With mischievous in your eyes you looked up at her and kept on going just as slow as before. You grinned at her before answering.

"Beg." Her eyes widened, and she stared at you, in utter disbelief. Moiraine Sedai didn't beg, and you knew that. But she would have to, if she wanted more.

"Please, (Y/n). Touch me, I need you." You loved the sound of that and as a reward you fastened your pace a little. Thrusting your finger in and out of her faster and sucking on her clit at the same time. After some time you used two fingers and felt her walls slowly tighten around your fingers.

"Oh god, I'm- that's good. Please, I'm close." She covered her mouth with her hand to prevent a loud moan from waking up the whole Tower. She pressed her eyes close together and pushed your head deeper into her as she felt herself getting closer and closer to the release. You licked her clit and simultaneously sucked at it and didn't stop as her release washed over her.

"Yes, love. That's it, ahhh..." With one last muffled scream and your name on her lips she came. Her walls clenched around your fingers, you slowly rode her through the orgasm before pulling your fingers out and licking them clean.

You crawled up again and grinned at her. Kissing her deeply, she could taste herself on your lips. She quietly moaned into the kiss and breathed heavily as you pulled back.

"You looked amazing like this, incredibly beautiful." You said as you stood up from the bed and started to take of the rest of your clothes until you were naked as well.

"Sit up and lean back on the headboard." You told her, it wasn't a question, and she immediately obeyed. She instinctively stretched out her leg and spread them to give you enough room to fit there.

Climbing onto the bed again you sat down on her thigh and let her feel how wet you were. She looked up at you, surprised and flustered that she had this effect on you. She must know, you thought, how beautiful and attractive she is.

Her hands few to your waist to support you, and slowly she started to move you up and down her thigh. At the first friction between your core and her thigh you let out a moan. You had wanted this for such a long time, wanted to feel her, touch her, be hers.

You quickened your pace and held on tightly to Moiraine's shoulders for more support. Her hands were still on your waist, and she swiftly took a nipple into her mouth, as your breasts were exactly in front of her face. At that surprising touch you let out a gasp and dug your nails into her skin.

"Oh, Moiraine. I'm so close-...ahhh..." you moaned her name like a mantra over and over again as you felt yourself approach the edge.

Holding your breath for a second and letting out a loud moan, that you didn't care if anyone heard, you came. Shuddering and gasping you collapsed in Moiraine's lap. She held you tightly as you came down from your high.

After the two of you had calmed down she kissed you gently and stood up to clean herself and came back with a wash cloth to clean you as well. Looking at her care for you, you smiled to yourself. You really didn't deserve her.

She came back to bed and covered you with the sheets and just as you snuggled closer the door opened and Lan came in.

He saw the state the two of you were in and immediately turned around to not make you uncomfortable. He knew Moiraine naked, but not you.

"I apologise. I should have knocked." Moiraine looked at you and you both just burst out laughing. All the stress and fear of the last few days felt so light and unimportant in that very moment. The only thing that matter right now was that you were together. You pulled the sheets a little higher and snuggled closer to Moiraine.

"You can turn around Lan. What is it?"

I know I promised another Moiraine fanfiction and it's in the making I swear!!! I just had two strange weeks, I changed my subject I want to study to be a teacher and it was all a little hard atm. But I'm better now and I'm working on it!!! Pinky Promise🤝🏻

@lovequinnin (mostly an apology to you😘)

Left Behind

Pairing: Moiraine Sedai/Reader

Word Count: 2020

Warning: implied sexual activity

Summary: Moiraine left for the Dragon Reborn without saying goodbye or an explanation. Three years later she's back in the Tower.

A/n: I know it's been a long time since I've posted, but a lot happened. In Uni and my personal life, so I didn't have too much time. I'm sorry. I hope you like it. Request: @lovequinnin (I hope its kind of like you wanted it <3)

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You rounded a corner in the Tower and suddenly stood right in front of Lan. For a dreadful second you just stared at him before slowly walking backwards around the corner and fleeing.

If Lan was here, Moiraine wasn't far.

Everything inside of you screamed to go to her. To ask how she'd been, hug her, kiss her. But she had hurt you once, and you didn't want her to do it again. Even after three years, it still hurt. Every day. Every moment. You wouldn't be able to live through that a second time. It would break you, completely and irrevocably. So you just kept your distance.

Which was harder than it sounded. The Tower was big, but not that big. And being a part of the brown Ajah, sitting in the library all day definitely didn't help, when Moiraine needed something from the Library every day.

The first day it was inconvenient, but it wasn't unusual. Everyone needed to go to the library sometimes. The encounter was awkward but bearable. She left as fast as she had come. You barely looked at her, politely but coldly giving her the book she needed. Politely but coldly asking if she needed anything else. And politely but coldly saying goodbye, turning around and going back to work.

The second day it was simply annoying. You dreaded seeing her more often just because she needed a book. You didn't really look up, but just the way she walked, her voice, her presence was enough to make your heart ache.

The fifth day you started to get suspicious. She had come every day for the past five days and everyday it seemed as if she needed a different book. All on topics, that weren't related in any way. It was unusual for Moiraine, she was organised, structured. It didn't fit her way of working.

On the morning of the seventh day you decided to talk to her about it. It was absolutely silly. This game made you go crazy. It was like she wanted to see you hurt. But on this day, for the first time in a week, she didn't come.

Not in the morning, not in the afternoon and not in the evening. It was already dark outside when you left the library, you had stretched your work, secretly hoping she would still come. But she hadn't, and that nearly hurt more than seeing her.

You strolled through the tower absent-mindedly, thinking about Moiraine. You were fighting with yourself. Your heart longed to see her, your brain screamed at you to stay away. To protect yourself, protect your heart.

Apparently the wheel decided to make that decision for you.

As you strolled down the corridor, on your way back to your room, you bumped into someone. You looked up and started an apology, that immediately got stuck in your throat as you saw the face of the person you had run into. It was Moiraine. Of course it was, who else would it be?

You stuttered out a few words, more like sounds, before taking a step back, as you suddenly realised how close you were. You pulled yourself together and straightened up a bit. You dared to look at her, but avoided her eyes. You knew that her eyes would always break you.

"Moiraine." You simply said, voice steady even though you felt your hands tremble slightly.

You saw the corners of her lips rise slightly, her eyes searching for yours.

"(Y/n)." She said softly. You could hear a hint of hope in her voice, a hint of...longing?

"Can I help you?" Your voice was icier than you had intended, but you couldn't pull back anymore. Her smile faded and her shoulders sank just a little bit. Gently she sighed.

"Please, can we talk?" She asked you, voice steady as always. Like it didn’t mean anything to her, at all. You stared at her, speechless. Her voice was steady, so steady she had nearly fooled you. But, just nearly. You sensed how desperate, how helpless she was. Even though she had no right to be. She had no right to be hurt, when she had been the one who had hurt you.

Your mouth opened and closed, your eyes widened a little. You couldn't find the words. So you grabed her arm and pulled her a few metres down the corridor, opened the door of your room and pulled her inside. Thinking about it now, she had probably went to your room earlier, hadn't found you and had just been leaving when you had bumped into her.

"You want to talk? Ok, let's talk." You said, voice filled with rage. Rage that you desperately hoped would hide your pain, would shove your tears down. It was a thin line between rage and hurt.

"(Y/n)..." She started but you harshly cut her off.

"No, you have no right to talk right now. Even coming to the library every single day is just outrageous. You just left. Three years ago, you left. You were just gone one day and never said a word. No letter, no message, no explanation." The words burst out of you, they'd been hidden inside of you for so long. All the hurt, the confusion and the anger just spilled out of you.

You could see the surprise on Moiraine's face, she steped back a little and tried to say something, but you just rambled on. Giving her no room for answers and explanations.

"You left me behind, like all those times together meant nothing to you. Like I meant nothing to you." You abruptly stopped talking as you saw Moiraine's eyes getting wet, her cheeks redden slightly, and her whole body slightly collapsed in on itself.

You wanted to go on, wanted to shout at her, wanted to make her feel everything she had made you feel. But your stupid heart betrayed you, it still beat for her. No words left your mouth. You simply stood there, like you were petrified. After a second you moved again, took a few steps back and sank into a chair.

You rest your head on your hands and looked down, trying hard to keep the tears down. In vain. Just a few slipped out and rolled down your cheeks, but you didn't let Moiraine see them.

You heard her getting closer, slowly, carefully. She stopped, and sighed. As she started to talk, her voice was soft like honey and strong. But it was wavering a bit, just a tiny bit. But you noticed. You'd always notice.

"I'm sorry. I had to leave, it was for your own safety. I couldn't say anything, the Amyrlin Seat forbid me to-..." you cut her off again, though not nearly as harshly as before.

"Since when do you listen to the Amyrlin Seat?" It sounded bitter, but teary.

"Since it meant protecting you." She said. It's raw, full of emotion. Different to what she usually sounds like, and it made you look up. As if to check, if it's still Moiraine who's talking. But it was.

You sighed, the exhaustion of the day and the tears stronger than your rage. For the first time in three years you thought, that maybe she really hadn't meant to hurt you. That maybe she never stopped loving you.

Your voice is quiet, thin as you speak. It's wavering and doesn't sound like your voice. Even to you, it's foreign. You looked down again, not having enough strength to look at her while talking.

"I didn't need your protection. I needed your love. When you left, you took a part of me with you. A part of me I never got back." Your eyes were glued to the floor and a tear falls to the ground. You felt her before you saw her.

She had kneeled down in front of you and gently grabbed your chin between her fingers to lift your head. You tried to turn away, to not lock eyes with her, but her grip was strong. It held you in place, it forced you to look at her.

You saw hurt, pain, regret but most importantly love. Love, like you hadn't seen in three years. Her hand wandered to your cheek and cupped it, softly stroking your skin, wiping a few tears away.

"(Y/n)" she quietly breathed your name. Her name on your lips had always sounded like a promise. Until she broke that promise.

"I'm so sorry for the way I hurt you. It's never what I wanted. Lan had said I shouldn't...but I couldn't risk it. Couldn't risk your safety." The words sounded sincere, like the truth. It sounded, which almost hurt the most, a lot like something Moiraine would do. She had always estimated the value of love far too low. Even if it was her own love, maybe especially when it was her own love.

"Don't you think that should have been my decision?" You asked sadly, smiling bitterly, nearly accusing. She sighed, closing her eyes for a moment. When she opened them, there was determination in them, strength.

"I knew that you would have wanted to come with us. But that wasn't possibly, I couldn't have forgiven myself if... If you'd been hurt." You tilted your head to the side a little, like a curious puppy. Didn't she know? That you would have died for her. You blinked a few times, trying to find fitting words.

"I would have," you replied softly, "I love you."

The tense surprised you both. Of course, you knew that you still loved her, you just hadn't meant to admit that. But she looked at you like she had expected you to hate her. To never feel anything good for her again. Didn't she know? That you'd always love her.

No one dared to say anything, as if it would break the spell. As if it would catapult you back to reality, like this was a dream. You felt her hand still on your cheek, warm and tingling. She doesn't acknowledge it, but she doesn't move it away either.

"Still?" She asked with a thin voice, not much louder than a whisper. Didn't she know?

"Of course. Nothing you could do would ever make me stop loving you."  You saw a tear slowly roll down her cheek. She sucked it up and looked away, fighting against the tears. She slightly shook her head in denial.

"I do. I'll always love you, Moiraine." You gently directed her face back to look at you and dry her tear. Your thumb softly stroked over her lips and slightly parted them. Moiraine's eyes closed and she breathed in shakily.

Slowly, carefully you leaned forward and captured her lips in a kiss. It's a soft kiss, short and careful. It's a question. And Moiraine answerd.

She pressed against your lips, more desperately than you, it nearly felt guilty. Like she wanted to apologise, make up for lost time. Show you, that she cared. That she loved and longed.

You're a little startled by her kiss, but soon you pulled her closer, held her and forgave her. You started taking of her clothes, stood up and draged her to the bed. It was messy, hastily and chaotic. But it was all you needed. Her. By your side.

"I'll come with you." You breathed out quietly against her hair. You were intertwined, under the sheets, arm in arm.

"No, you don't even know where I'm going or what I'm doing." She protested, her voice almost sounded desperate. Desperate to protect you, to keep you safe.

"You won't leave me here again. I'm coming with you." Your voice is steady, calm. You knew you would win the argument, you usually did.

"It's dangerous."

"I don't care. If you'd asked, I would have come with you three years ago." The blunt truth hung in the air. She hadn't left you a choice back then, she had decided for you. You wouldn't let her do that again, and she knew it.

"I'm sorry. We lost so much time together." She whispered softly, and you pulled her closer into your embrace. You placed a soft kiss on her head.

"We'll make up for it."

Moiraine Sedai

Loneliness ♡

The Wheels Will ☆♡◇

Left behind ♧♡

Wheel of Time

Moiraine Sedai

Liandrin Sedai