Cate Blanchett

Cate Blanchett

Lou Miller

i'm so fucking happy to find that i'm not the only one having MAJOR feelings about kate rn ahaha.

if you're accepting prompts- one where the reader gets left with the doctor during empire of death and has to deal with listening to kate die over the comm, then what happens when it all gets fixed.

Well, this made me have major feels. I hope it does the same for you.

Your arms were around the Doctor’s waist, barely managing to stay on the back of Mel’s scooter, heart in your throat as you listened to Kate on the other end of the comms. You couldn’t get enough air into your lungs. The Doctor’s shout should have been loud and yet it was like he was at the other end of a long tunnel, Kate’s voice the only thing that was clear. 

“Birds will sing again. There will be birds,” she said.

And then there was nothing but silence. 

You waited, on and on for one more word but none came. A broken sob passed your lips, the rest of the world falling away as a deep dark well opened up inside of you. Kate had always been such a pillar, you’d never considered she might one day fall. A meaningless future stretched out in front of you. There was no point without her. 

You’d never even gotten the chance to tell her how you felt. 

You stumbled through the rest of the day, just barely managing to get from moment to moment. You couldn’t focus on her, couldn’t let the darkness creep in. You had to focus on the next step, always the next step forward, not the what ifs or could have beens.

When you arrived back at UNIT HQ she was there, in front of you, like she’d never left. You couldn’t take your eyes off her, the rest fading away when she was right there in front of you. Alive. Perfectly fine. 

So you did the reasonable thing and stood on the absolute opposite side of the room from her and watched her with a keen eye to make sure nothing happened to her again. 

When the Doctor and Ruby left to find her mother you stayed back. You were happy for her, of course you were, but that deep sense of something going wrong the moment you took your eyes off Kate was still there. So you remained, on the outskirts as they got on with it, cleaning up from the whole day. 

Mostly, you just stayed out of the way. 

Occasionally her eyes would catch yours across the room. She’d smile and quirk an eyebrow and you would just shake your head. You weren’t going to get into it with an audience around. Certainly not when she had better things to get on with than settling your emotions. 

Once the sun had set and the moon was high in the sky, most of the screens off, everyone else having left for the night, just her desk light casting a warm circle of light around her, you let yourself draw closer into her orbit. She looked up, over the top of her glasses, watching you wander towards her. You pushed up onto the desk in front of hers, feet swinging.

“Are you finally going to tell me what’s on your mind?” she asked.

“I don’t want to interrupt when you’re busy,” you said.

“You’ve been hanging around all day. I know it’s not the brilliant atmosphere that’s kept you here so long. So out with it,” she said.

“I heard you die,” you said, heels kicking the desk. 

“Ah,” she said, leaning back in her chair. 

She took her glasses off, laying them on the desk in front of her. You liked being outside the circle of light, sitting in the shadows. You hoped she couldn’t see the expression on your face, darkness giving you a modicum of safety. 

“You were on the comms with us and I heard you. Sutekh turned you to dust and there was just this silence left. It was…” You didn’t have words for it.

“I’m sure that wasn’t easy for you,” she said.

“I know I should have cared about the entire universe dying but… all I could think about was that silence,” you said, not able to look at her.

Soft footsteps were your answer. Fingers gently tipped your chin up until you were looking into her eyes. You couldn’t read the expression on her face, but it made your heart ache with something unnamed. 

“I barely remember it,” she said, her voice not above a whisper.

“But I do,” you said, “I can still hear it.”

“Hear what?” she asked.

“The silence.”

She didn’t seem to quite understand how it rang in your head, the absence of her voice. It was like a physical thing, an oil slick on your skin, sinking in until the toxicity of it was embedded deep within you.

So you did the only thing you could to try and fix it.

Your fingertips travelled over her cheeks, mapping her skin, every line of it. She froze, holding still as you explored, feeling her alive under your fingers. Her breath came in a gasp when you traced her lips. You could feel her watching but you were following your path, pausing when you reached her pulse point in her neck. You let your fingers rest there, the beat of her heart strong under your touch. Dragging your eyes back to hers, you shivered from how close she was.

Your hand curled around the back of her neck and you dragged her in, your lips crashing against hers. She made a surprised sound but then her hands were on your hips and she was stepping between your legs as she kissed you with a hunger you hadn’t been expecting. Your fingers slipped into her hair, cradling the back of her head, pressing her closer, entrapping her between your legs, curling them around her. 

Her arms slipped around you, tugging you to the edge of the desk, her body brushing yours. The desperation that coursed through your veins made you kiss her deeper, your tongue licking into her mouth, tasting her. If she filled every sense, perhaps then you could stop lingering on the silence. 

You whimpered when she drew away, trying to draw her back in. Her hands on your shoulders, she kept you back, looking at you with those eyes that saw more than you wanted. She sighed, her forehead falling against yours. 

“I don’t want you to die,” you whispered.

“I’m not much of a fan of the idea either,” she said.

“I also don’t want you to die without knowing how I feel about you,” you said.

“How do you feel about me?” she asked.

“You’re… I…” You tried to find the words, “I’ve fallen for you. Hard. And losing you without ever having the chance to tell you was… I… Sorry.”

“Why are you apologising?” she asked.

“Because I’m doing this so badly.”

She chuckled, pushing your hair away from your face as she drew back, cupping your cheeks until you couldn’t move.

“You’re doing brilliantly,” she said.

“Liar,” you said.

“I’m finding it rather charming,” she said, giving you one of those soft smiles she used when charmed, usually by the Doctor. 

“Charming enough to go out on a date with me?” you asked.

“Given I find myself rather enchanted by you, it would be foolish to say no,” she replied, “I was never sure if it was something you wanted.”

“Kate,” you sighed, “I’ve been falling for you since the first moment we met.”

“You never said anything,” she said.

“Because I thought there was no way you could possibly be interested in me,” you said.

“I’m not sure you see yourself very clearly, darling,” she said, the pet name going through you like lightning, “you’re wonderful.”

A smile took over your face, bright and light, the silence finally beginning to recede. She lent forward, capturing your lips in another searing kiss. You whimpered into her mouth, shifting closer, your hands pressing into the small of her back to draw her closer. 

“Please don’t die,” you whispered when she drew away, burying your face in her shoulder.

“I’ll do my best,” she said, lips brushing against your forehead.

It would have to be enough for now. 

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