Stupid

stupid

a lovely creecher

A long ass beginner level tutorial for all of you comic folks who want to start using sketchup for your backgrounds but don’t know how to get started.

http://www.genkigirl.com/finesometimesrain/?p=771

hear me out: Megatron in human form would absolutely be fat

as someone whose family is from the upper Appalachian region, I know a lot of rural workers and farmers/railworkers/miners/labourers, several of which are actual family members of mine or have been adopted as such 

and I’m just saying 

approaching things realistically and according to his background as a miner in MTMTE/Lost Light 

Megatron’s human form/holoform would absolutely be fat

I mean tall, fat, and Kentucky coal miner level strong, for real  

there’s a huge difference between bodybuilder aesthetic muscle and actual worker muscle; there’s no strictly controlled, carefully even with counted repetitions style working out, there’s no carefully monitored diet and hydration, it’s just muscle from doing ore cart loading and several different types of drilling and gear (equipment) hauling and vehicle prep and maintenance and so on 

rural Appalachian manual labour working life is like: You eat what you can get in the food desert you live in because there’s no time or energy or gas money to drive three hours away and then back again to get to the one good grocery store in the area, you don’t get time to make good meals so you snack constantly to keep your energy level high to focus just enough to avoid getting killed by large scale industrial machinery, and you end up with enough accumulated minor and/or major injuries over time that you ache too much to do “formal” working out even if you had the energy and time after hours of trying not to die on the job all day

all the miners I know are either rail thin or pretty fat, and it’s 99% because of shitty working conditions, poverty wages and/or no time or resources for good food with all cooked meals being massively heavy in fat/protein/carbs and nothing else because this is about keeping up energy levels so you don’t get killed at work, and various injuries including chemical exposures and so on = pretty much everyone is either sickly thin or intensely maximum power mode levels of fat 

the thin miners tend to be fast as hell, and the fat miners tend to have strength that rivals actual Hercules of Grecian lore

real world example story time: fat miner power, or how Davis the Miner demolished our bathroom entirely by accident 

I knew a miner, let’s call him Davis, who was a family friend when I was a kid

this guy was six foot four inches tall, weighed three times what my father weighed even though my dad was six foot two inches tall himself, and let me tell you…

once when Davis stayed over at our house for a week, he bumped into the bathroom sink after taking a shower and accidentally knocked the ENTIRE SINK OUT OF THE FIXTURE ON THE WALL 

when I say he took it out, I mean he butt bumped the edge of the sink when turning around to put his towel back on the rack to dry, and the momentum of this action was enough to straight up demolish the sink (part of the sink bowl actually broke) and actually pulled the entire sink fixture out of the actual wall itself 

this, naturally, bent one of the pipes to the sink, which started to leak, and his solution to this was to GRAB THE PIPE AND BEND IT BY HAND TO STOP THE WATER FLOW 

if you have never worked on house utility piping, I can confirm for you that it is extremely hard if not borderline impossible to do this even with tools, but not for our dude Davis, who has Hercules Grip 

he was super apologetic about it and we weren’t mad at all, we all helped fix it up with a quick trip to Home Depot later lmao

it was just so impressive that legit he just bumped it a little when drying off and it was enough to take the entire fucking sink off the wall, pipes sticking out and everything 

and 100% it was totally an accident, it really was just a little butt bump into the sink when turning around, and it ripped the sink straight up out of the wall!!! he demolished that shit!!! lmao 

never underestimate Fat Miner Strength. what they lack in speed, they have more than quadrupled in Fat Miner Power. 

his butt alone essentially took out that entire wall in our bathroom, given the damage, and it was honestly pretty awesome 

making my case: canon observations 

this is the kind of intense fat miner strength Megatron would absolutely have in human form, and I am convinced of this 

especially because we see him drilling with what is basically a jackhammer: 

now, Davis once explained to me: “I’m so fat because it helps cut down on the vibration!” 

and he’s actually right; bodybuilder (leaner) type muscular physiques would struggle with managing the actual return vibration of this kind of drilling– it’s not the force itself, or the weight of the drill, or even the strength required to hold the drill in position if drilling manually. it’s not even 100% about the vibration of a drill like a jackhammer in the above image itself, either. 

it’s about the return vibration you get when chiselling or drilling into a solid material like rock/minerals, which is 90% of what you’re doing when drilling in a mine if you’re still cutting out the ore/material!

this return vibration is such an intense effect that even on automated large scale unmanned drilling equipment, there is vibration protection and a huge amount of work and monitoring that goes into making sure the return vibration doesn’t literally shake the machinery apart. 

but our dude Megatron seems to be handling the vibration incredibly well, he doesn’t appear to be shaking at all in the panel above, not to mention the underhand grip he has on an otherwise unsupported jackhammer in the panel above, meaning his upper arm strength, glutes/thigh strength, back strength, and core strength are taking the majority of the force here 

now, Davis said his fat helped him deal with the vibration, and that’s because being so fat gives him more mass/weight overall, and adipose tissue is a pretty good shock absorber of sorts! 

so more weight = more stability when doing this kind of stuff (although nobody would ever hold a jackhammer like Megatron is here lmao) 

and it also does somewhat minimise some of the acute/short term physical damage of vibration (although it does not eliminate problems like joint stress or over time problems like various well known vibration induced syndromes, it’s just that fat people are gonna statistically do a little bit better with this kind of stuff than skinny people generally speaking) 

conclusion: Megatron would totally be a tall fat dude and it’s good 

considering that canonically all the frame types as per Functionist social/class stratification are literally put to the work deemed most “suitable”, and Megatron is doing manual labour here that would be better suited to larger/stronger humans, I feel like he’d be like “ok well I guess if I were a human I would be this” 

I also can’t imagine Megatron choosing a holoform/human form that would shy away from his origins as a miner; it’s a core part of his identity and ideology, and I feel like once he got a little more comfortable with generating a holoform, maybe a little more familiar with human body types via movie night at Swerve’s or something, he’d probably want to represent himself as accurately as objectively possible within human cultural-social context if he had to generate a holoform for that purpose 

I also imagine Megatron showing up at a local worker’s union in his holoform and writing some AMAZING shit to leave behind for them, have a little revolt, go get your wages, you’re organics but you’re working class and the solidarity is undeniable 

meanwhile Rodimus takes Drift to New York and Minimus gets lost somewhere (re: ditched by Rodimus) on the Amtrak network and ends up in Canada and it’s a mess, they realise Megatron went the other direction on the rail once they see a Times Square news scrawl about a union riot somewhere in Tennessee and they immediately go OH SHIT IT’S HAPPENING AGAIN

anyway 

I just sort of always imagine IDW 1 Megatron having a holoform of like, a fat version of old Arnold Schwarzenegger: way less actual muscle definition (no or very little clearly visible muscle), a lot more fat, but equally if not more strong overall due to the different muscle groups developed by hard manual work vs. bodybuilding 

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Marvus and his money headcanon

(Been surfing through the marvus tags and I've got some thoughts to share regarding this clown)

To start off, I personally think troll currency is more digital than physical. Like everyone uses a card to trade or get items (and its only due to the empresses restrictions on things when she removed the adults from the planet) but physical money is still real, it's just a fun thing that highbloods and high midbloods use to flaunt and to trade amongst each other.

To signify the value of the bills, they have a strip of color from the cast they were made for. For example, Teals =80, Cerulean =90, Indigo =100, etc.

(There were coins that were common amongst lowbloods and low midbloods, but that got discontinued when moving to cashless/digital. There is evidence preserving the old currency existence such as in museums showings of the old times and extremely old paintings in the clown churches.) (You can think that these coins are caegars or not)

With that out the way! On to Marvus and his money 💰

I imagine Marvus doesn't really care about money nor feels that it has a heavy connection to his identity compared to performing/entertaining. Marvus just knows that people wanna see him and lose their shit at his concerts and are willing to drop stacks to be there even with the risk of being culled.

With that, Marvus can be loose with his money, quite literally throwing it around to which some highbloods would critique the act as 'disrespectful' and 'rebellious' since money is one of the ways ancestors can provide to descendants and give them a clue to their existence. (If they want or have left a will if they died, regardless, the empire still sets them up with a small fund)

I dont know if philanthropy would be an actual thing or just be a thing highbloods (like Zebruh) say they do for approval points. But I imagine Marvus would be the type to do so in the most unconventional means.

He probably stopped his tour bus once to grab a grubshake or a handmade sandwich from a small cafe and threw a fat band on the counter saying, "Keep da change lol." Leaving the workers there in awe and fear cause damn he just weirdly blessed them, and damn they now gotta fight off his fans from stealing the marvy money. (If Marvus is there, his fans are certainly gonna be there too.)

Marvus definitely buys his crew lunch or, if he's hanging with someone, offers to pay for them when he's out and about. He stresses tf out of his accountant because he doesn't keep track of how much he spends in a day. You know his ass absolutely has a money gun to use at his concerts.

Bascially when you're Marvus, you're a baller who is a big spender.

When interacting with Marvus, depending on his quadrant, you're gonna see how he moves with his cash.

•♡ Matespirit ♡•

if you got this man in this quadrant, good luck on getting Marvus not to spoil the fuck out of you. Trust and believe he'll take any chance to drop some stacks on you. If you guys are out and you say or point out some items, you can bet that Marvus is buying them.

Oh, you think that clothing line is cute? Guess what? He's ordered the entire line to be sent to your place.

Big fan of video games? No problem! He is getting the newest console out on the market in your favorite color with your name on it.

Love sweets? Bam! He's gonna invite you over to his crib and have you watch a team of trolls bake the best desserts of Alternia.

Money ain't a thang to this man. It gives him a chance to show his love through the material means and show that he wants you to enjoy yourself and time with him. Small part of him uses money to be a temporary fix when he has to go on long tours. If he can't spend time with you on troll FaceTime or in real life, he'll send gifts to show that he's still alive and thinking about you.

However, if large displays of affections through money don't appeal to you or you start to feel overwhelmed by the purchases or think he's being disingenious in his affection, he'll pull it back.

He'll likely give you a card that's connected to his account so you can have the control to buy what you want without feeling like you have to ask him. (And such an act will give him a small piece of security to know you'll have the means to survive financially on Alternia, especially if you've expressed times of financial hardships to him)

Also doesn’t matter if it's public or private, He's gonna randomly place bills on your person, i.e., stuffing them in your pockets, slipping them in your shirt pocket, pinning them to your jacket. If you ask him why he's doing that (or wonder where he stores his cash)(btw he literally has no pants pockets) Marvus is gonna give you a saucy wink and smile all dumb and say "a mf gotta pay dem feez 4 havin a wicked mate lik u b ;0)" than he'll place a smacking wet kiss on your forehead and be all noisey about it while doing so.

•◇ Moirials ◇•

In this quadrant, his spending habit might look casual to outsiders, but with you, they'll be a tad more personal. Still be extra af like in matespiritship but he'll be spending money to clear his mind or yours.

Feeling stressed about some unfinished work? Don't worry. He'll reserve a spa service just for you.

Need to cry out some hard feelings? He's gonna get some matching pajamas and grab some emergency blankets to get that session on.

You know that one ring that SpongeBob and Patrick have to show off their friendship? He's gonna get something like that to represent your guy's moirallgience. Anything involving moirails, he will buy and send them to you.

You're definitely gonna be his merch tester and probably be brought to his trips to the galleries when he goes to buy art pieces. (Need your support and opinion when bidding for art pieces.)

Like with matespiritship, if you feel like he's being insincere or rather prefers more handmade gifts. He'll try to schedule days to create personal gifts. He might pay someone to tutor him about your interests just so you can rant without having to stop and explain what you're talking about.

Marvus will remember what your favorite snacks and favorite meals are for when you're hanging with the crew or just him. Compared to where he won't care about what someone orders, you don't gotta worry about an order mess up or reminding him. He got that locked in, unless you want something different, then just point him to it.

If there is a fucked up order for you, he will raise hell. Typically, he won't care if something he orders is messed up. He'll pay for another one. However, on behalf of his moirial, this mf gonna walk up to the counter like that meme saying they asked for no pickles. The first and hopefully (in his opinion) only time you'll ever see him asking for a refund.

A thing that'll be a routine of your relationship is him swinging by your place late af in the daytime to grab you and get some breakfast before he has to start his night.(Unless you spend the day at his hive than he'll order said breakfast and catch some more Zzzs with you.)

•♤ Kismeses ♤•

Now in this quadrant, compared to the other two, Marvus is a clown who's mischievous as hell. This bitches antics are gonna be up to 100 when it comes to him.

Honestly, you're gonna be on your toes for buying things. It'll become a back and forth of him randomly, not having money than to him having it though being really annoying and lazy with it.

If your someone who's well off, you better hide your wallet. Marvus will snag your card and make an excuse how he left his cash in his other pants/trailer/hive and buy the most stupidest shit under your name. (He'll troll cash app you back but do it so tediously that you hope your account crashes)

If he catches a single hint or a word, even a wrinkle of disgust on you, Marvus will make it the bane of your life.

You dislike the residue of his paint left on your face after a hate-makeout session? Marvus now has to buy this one face paint that is known for being messy. what? His manager told him, too. :0)

You think cowboy boots are clunky and tacky? Guess who's strolling up in some bedazzled purple lined boots that jingle when he walks.

You make a comment on how creepy troll beanie boos plushies are, he's gonna get a brand deal with them and send you a crate of his new designs. A note will be attached saying "4 my numba 1 fan ;0)~".

Similar to moirallgience, you will be a merch tester, yet you won't know if he's being serious or wanting to rile you up. Regardless, when you shit on the design he's showing you, that's how he'll know his fans will love it! Doesn't matter if it's the simplest design, an eyesore to the public, he'll promote it to the point that even your small-time friends will surely mention the product to you. Might even send a shout-out to you on Chitter for your 'help'.

Don't ask him for a bill if you want something from a vending machine. Marvus will pull the most crumpled weirdly stained bill you'll ever see in your lifetime and smile at you plainly like, "Here u go buddi dats all I can find on me atm lmao." Additionally to this, he will slowly count his bucks out if you all are in a line somewhere. (Marvus knows no one will rush him and if you complain, he'll pretend he lost count and start over)

To conclude this, watch out for when he's feeling more petty. He'll make a habit of sending you items in loud peculiar packaging that suggest to those handling it that there's something inappropriate in it when there really isn't.

•♧ Auspistice ♧•

With this one, Marvus doesn’t fit the vibe of where he might truly kill his kismeses. Nor does he seem to want to be in a situation to be aggravated enough to join in murdering someone (Going off his response to MSPA reader when the clown fight happened). However, Marvus may strive on not becoming active on those emotions. Close calls can exist.

A tiff among his roadies about best faygo flavors is a good way. His manager hassling him, and trying to change up his brand is close enough. Groupie sea dwellers trying to follow him back to his trailer and not taking a hint is a real close call.

If you mediate for Marvus a few times, he'll certainly be grateful (and a bit embarrassed) he'll grant you a gift card of some shop of your choice as thanks.

On the other hand, you've been around long enough to spot a murderous Marvus, then you're undeniably a part of his inner circle. With the exception of being his paid emotional bodyguard coach.

As business-like, it might seem in the beginning, you're a trustworthy and skillful individual in Marvus's eyes. He knows dealing with irritated trolls, particularly enraged highbloods, is not a fun nor easy task.

Other trolls may feel like this relationship is wandering into moirallgience territory.(which might be) Marvus won't really care about those opinions and possibly offer to meditate for you in the event he catches you in a tense position.

You’ll be called for his long tours when he has to do shows for sea dwellers and, without a doubt, be put through the ringer. It'll end with you guys munching on loads of the troll version of ice cream in silence.

At any point, you're too stressed to de-escalate a situation. He'll give you a paid vacation and make sure you don't come back until you are entirely stressed free.

He may tell you once he calms down that you should open a private business due to your and I quote "motherfckin dopeazz obzi-va-tional skilz."

Small note : Marvus has dealt with people trying to form a quad with him just for the fame/money, as we seen with Zebruh. So if he catches signs that what's happening, he's going to be acting distant and extremely scripted around you, then like ghost you. You'll be blacklisted from his concerts (unknowingly), and future clowns might keep a close eye on you if you hang at the churches.

Welp, that's all! Hopefully, this was entertaining to read! I do apologize if some parts feel rushed or that there were more details in some quads, I tried to keep them around the same length.