I Wanna Squeeze Them And Pinch Their Cheeks And Snuggle Them

I wanna squeeze them and pinch their cheeks and snuggle them

My pookie cutie bears

may i present to you the insufferable pair in chibi

Based on actual events

||Guilt...|| wrote by me

Plot:Short fic in how Geto would react about your death and he can't help but feel guilty for it.

About:hurt,no comfort,angst,death.

Cw:reader is dead,heart wrenching,crying.

Geto’s anger turned to guilt, which quickly turned to despair. He was too late. He couldn’t even keep his promise and see you through this. His face became wet with tears as his eyes widened, the reality slowly setting in. You.. you were gone forever in a cruel world that was unfair and unforgiving. He fell back into his bed, letting out a loud and long wail of agony.

Tears poured down his cheeks, he tried to catch his breath only to realize it was impossible. He covered his face with his hands, hoping that it was just a nightmare. But no matter how hard he blinked, or rubbed his eyes, you were still gone. All that was left of you was that sweet, soft smile that you always had. He tried to call your name, but it wouldn’t come out. All he could do was cry and scream and… just… cry.

The tears flowed like a broken dam, his sobs breaking the silence of the empty room. It felt so wrong to be in your room without you in it, to see you nowhere. How was this possible? You couldn’t be gone… you couldn’t leave him by himself in this cruel place. But no matter how many tears he cried, how many screams he let out, you didn’t return.

The days slowly passed, and his eyes became less red. It was as if the tears had been drained from his body. He tried not to move, not even to eat or drink anymore. The only thing keeping him from a state of complete apathy was the memories he held of you, and the guilt of not being there when you needed him the most. He would never forgive himself for not fulfilling his promise. He had failed you, and he couldn’t accept any other fact.

Geto would often visit your grave,it was the only way he could stay close to you. He would talk to you as if you were right beside him, as if he could still talk to you the way he used to. The cold wind would brush past him as he would sit in front of your tombstone, just staring at your name until it was etched into his memory. He made it a habit to visit you every week, as if you were still alive.

His eyes were a permanent shade of dull gray, his face constantly expressionless. The only emotion he felt was sadness and regret. The guilt never left him, he felt like a failure. Because he was one. You had trusted him to be there when you needed him, and in the end he couldn’t even do that. When you needed him most, he let you down. When you were vulnerable, he wasn’t there. His feelings were slowly being chipped away by the immense guilt, and he felt so alone.

He still remembered your face. The sweet and soft smile that was always on your lips. He remembered your gentle voice, and the way you had so calmly accepted your own death. Your eyes were a beautiful color. The way you had made him happy, and how he had taken your presence for granted… He couldn’t make the time to be there when you needed him, because of his foolish pride and he lost you. It was his fault.

His mind became more and more twisted by day. The guilt ate him up inside, as he would cry alone every night, wishing you were there to hold him. No one else could comfort him the way you could. You were the one who made all his worries go away. But now, all he had was this… this deep, agonizing emptiness. If he had been there when you were undergoing treatment, maybe you would still be there. You wouldn’t be gone.

"I'm sorry..I'm so so sorry-y-y y/n" Geto repeated over and over as he would hugged the pillow as it if were you.

He would hug your pillow tightly, as if you were there with him. He didn’t say anything, crying quietly into it, wishing, just for a moment, that your voice would fill the room. That the warmth of your embrace would be felt once again. That he would wake up from this nightmare. That this was all a mistake. That he should have been there when you were crying for help. That he should have done more…

===============================

I'm planning to do a part 2 hopefully it will be less sad

thinking about mundane daily things with zhongli...

zhongli absentmindedly giving you back scratches when you feel that itch but your arm can't reach that specific spot.

holding back zhongli's hair when he eats and he forgot his hair clip.

brushing your teeth in the morning with zhongli, side-by-side, your free hands holding onto each other.

zhongli randomly passing by a rather beautiful wildflower on his stroll and he proceeds to pick it up so he can slip it behind your ear when he meets you.

helping zhongli trim and polish his talons and in turn, he helps you clip your nails (he gives you a bonus hand massage after).

zhongli just naturally coming up next to you when you wash the dishes so you can give him the empty plates to wipe and arrange on the drying rack.

going into the shower with zhongli and him gently washing your hair because he knows you're tired.

||PRETENDING|| ル ˖ ♡ ₍ ᐢ..ᐢ ₎ 📍 ࣪ . › written by me

Yuji x reader|D*PRESSION TRIGGER WARNING

Plot:You felt down about everything and about your art style so Yuji tries to cheer you up

Tags:You're Yuji best friend,self loathing,hating towards oneself,crying,venting,not eating nor drinking,vomiting,anorexia(reader)

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

Art not mine⚠️👐😟,if you know the artist let me know in the comments

P.S: i have made a dark theme blog go check it out! Minors DNI!

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

"My drawings sucks,my art style is horrible,my favourite characters looks shitty in my art style" You sobbed wiping away your tears "I'm not good enough even at what I like"

Yuji sighed and gently brushed away the remaining tears on your face, his thumb gently circling your chin. he didn't like seeing you like this, he hated it, in fact.

Seeing you like this, and knowing your mindset towards life, made him realize that no one would be more devastated than him if you were to ever disappear from this world.

"your art style doesn't suck." he said quietly. "i quite like it, actually. and i'm sure others do too."

"But...I tried to draw you but..it's not in a realistic style or anything...it's just...simplified style" You whimpered takout your sketchbook and handing it at Yuji

he took the sketchbook from your hands, looking at the drawings you were referring to as he quietly flipped through the pages.

despite you calling it simple and being disappointed with it, he thought they seemed lovely. it was quite different from how other people drew and he really liked that about your style.

"and i love it." he replied with a small smile as he looked up at you again. as he did, his other hand slipped underneath your chin again and tilted your head upwards so that you were now looking right into his eyes.

"But I don't" you sobbed covering your face "I don't and I hate myself for it because I'm not like others"

his grip on your cheek remained firm as he held your face upwards. all of these thoughts, self-inflicted pain and negativity you had towards yourself had to end one way or another.

"you're right, you're not like other people. but that's not a bad thing" he spoke softly once more, while the hand that was holding onto your cheek now also moved to gently caress your cheek.

"and that's exactly what makes you unique" his voice remained gentle as he maintained eye contact with you.

"but i'm not like you aither,i'm not happy,positive i don't smile at life"

"well, i don't want you to be like me" he responded with a soft chuckle.

his fingers stopped the gentle caressing motion and moved down to your side.

"and trust me, i'm the furthest thing away from being fully happy"

he paused once more, before finally speaking again.

"i… i wish you could see yourself the way i see you"

his eyes scanned you up and down. as he did, he realized just how frail and thin you looked, as if you were some walking skeleton. the bags underneath your eyes, the pale colour of your skin and the fact that you rubbed your hand once more told him the things you never mentioned but he always suspected.

"how long was the last time you ate?" he questioned quietly.

"i…" you couldn't bring yourself to answer the question. you didn't even know how much time had passed since you ate last. you simply shrugged your shoulders, trying to avoid the topic.

he seemed unamused by your answer.

"tell me." he asked forcefully this time, his tone having shifted into a stern one.

you remained silent. you weren't going to tell him that you hadn't eaten in days, and you knew how much he'd hate this.

he'd probably think that he wasn't doing enough, that you weren't eating because you were upset or that he somehow wasn't doing enough to keep you happy. and, well, you didn't want that to happen.

"I'm not hungry" you finally spoken up, and even that was a lie, but it was better than admitting the truth… right?

he sighed as he heard your words.

his grip on your hands tightened once more as he stared at you, his gaze turning into one of irritation.

he didn't fall for your lie, and he was not going to take "i'm not hungry" for an answer.

"so, you're telling me you haven't eaten anything in over-" he paused, unsure of just how much time passed without you eating. "days?"

"why does it matters anyway?" You pouted looking away and turning your back at Yuji

"because you're killing yourself by not eating." his tone remained harsh, but he refused to loosen his grip on your hand.

"and i don't like that." he said simply.

he wasn't lying when he said that he didn't like that you were doing this to yourself. when he saw you starving yourself, he felt like he'd do anything to get you to eat again.

"Well I don't feel like to" you replied looking away "I don't feel hungry,I don't feel thirsty"

"well, even if you don't feel like eating, you have to." he replied once more, and it was only now that you finally noticed how tightly his hand held onto yours.

his grasp never loosened, despite your attempts to move his hand away.

"how about something to drink then?" his tone had changed slightly, as he asked this question. "just anything."

You sighed as you looked down "a tea" you whimpered feeling weak

"tea?" he raised an eyebrow at you, before gently letting go of your hand.

he was now on high alert when it came to your habits of not eating and starving.

"follow me." he said quietly.

yuji walked to a nearby cafe, gently keeping an eye on you, and once you were there, he ordered you some green tea along with anything you wanted to eat.

"take a seat" he said as he guided you to an empty table.

after getting you a table, he sat down opposite of you, eyeing your movements. he didn't like how you looked, it was clear that you had been starving yourself.

"now, you're going to drink that." he said simply, gesturing to the glass of green tea in front of you. "then, you're going to eat something."

even if you didn't feel like eating, he was going to make sure that you ate something. his gaze was firm, and he wouldn't accept no for an answer.

his gaze remained on you as he waited for you to take your first sip of the glass of green tea.

he could tell immediately after you took your first sip that the glass of green tea would be the only thing you had that day.

after you took a few more sips, he took a small plate, filled it up with some sandwiches and placed it in front of you.

"eat." he said quietly but strongly, as his gaze remained on you the entire time.

once again he noticed how you looked away when you glanced at the plate of food.

his jaw tensed slightly, and he moved the plate of food closer to you.

"try a piece." his tone was firm and there was little to no room for negotiation.

With your trembling hand you tooked the sandwich but as soon as you bited it...you felt nauseous and you runned to the bathroom of the cafe

the second he saw your trembling hand and noticed the uneasiness on your face, he instinctively knew the outcome of it all.

without letting you get a word in, his instincts kicked in and he was quick to sprint to the bathroom.

he found you hunched over the toilet sink, gagging and struggling not to empty your stomach.

"god damn it..." he muttered under his breath, his hands balled up into tight fists as he glared at your small frame.

his jaw tightened as he heard the sound of you gagging and throwing up some of the tea.

he was fuming on the inside but he kept it in, taking deep breaths to calm down.

he took a step closer to you from behind, and without thinking much, he started rubbing your back, hoping to soothe you atleast somewhat.

*just calm down* he repeated to himself in his head, hoping that it'd work, even just a little.

he held you in his embrace, staying close even when you were still gagging.

as the sound decreased, his hand continued to rub your back until you stopped throwing up the tea, a sigh escaping his body as he breathed in relief.

he was now holding you in his embrace, waiting until you'd calm down a bit, his expression showing nothing but annoyance as he looked down at you, waiting for this madness to finally stop.

he sighed softly as you finished throwing up. the entire time, he made sure not to let his grip on your back loosen, until you finally stopped and there was a hint of silence from your end.

once you had quieted down, and there wasn't any sound in the bathroom at all, yuji spoke up again.

"are you done?" he asked quietly.

as he waited for your response, he noticed how you were still trembling, whether from the aftermath of the throwing up session or the fact that you hadn't eaten anything all day, he couldn't tell.

with his other hand, he grabbed a small pack of napkins, before passing it over to you.

"wipe your mouth, and then wash your face." he said softly this time, as he finally released his grip on your back and stepped away from you.

"I'm...sorry.." you whined "I.. I tought I could overcome it all by myself" your coughed

as you apologized to him, his eyebrows furrowed slightly when he heard the sound of your cough. you sounded like you could cough up a lung at any moment, and just hearing your frail state, it made him feel terrible.

"you shouldn't have attempted to 'overcome it' by yourself, not when you know how much you struggle." he replied as he watched you wipe your mouth with the napkin.

"now, wash your face."

he paused when he realized how shaky your hands were, and as you struggled to grip the pack of napkins with ease, he was silently reminded of how frail you were.

he wasn't going to let you do everything on your own anymore.

"come here." he said as he beckoned you to come to him. once you were closer to him, he grabbed the pack from you and began wiping down your face for you.

after he wiped down your face, he noticed that you still seemed like you were struggling to stand up. with the lack of food and the exhaustion it caused you, it was no wonder you were so weak right now.

"sit..." he instructed gently with a gentle push towards the sink.

after you did so, he grabbed a paper cup, filled it with water and handed it to you.

"Drink this." he said quietly.

he noticed the way you were struggling to grip the paper cup with your frail hand, and it only further reinforced to him that you needed to be cared for more than he initially thought.

he was right. you weren't eating or drinking enough.

"drink... slowly." he added on, as he watched you drink the water.

after you had taken a few sips and seemed to take your time with the water, he finally let out a sigh of relief. at least you were drinking something.

he looked at you for a few minutes more, seemingly inspecting your small frame as you sipped on the water, before finally speaking up once more.

"are you feeling any better?" his tone was still slightly concerned, but there was a much softer edge to it, unlike earlier where he spoke with more firmness.

you weren't the type of person to admit when you were physically not feeling alright, but you could never lie to him when he did ask you. you tried to hold back your groan of pain though, it was getting increasingly difficult to do so as your stomach was protesting the emptiness.

you were exhausted, both mentally and physically, and you had barely eaten anything today. your stomach was in pain and your head felt like it could split at any moment.

"bad..." you said quietly, with a hint of an ashamed tone in your voice.

you sounded so weak right now, and it broke his heart.

he was so mad at you for refusing to eat all day and for not telling him about it, but all of this only caused him more concern. he didn't understand why you were so persistent in hiding everything from him.

"do you want to leave?" he asked softly, his gaze still locked onto yours.

you thought about it for a moment before you slowly nodded your head. you definitely weren't feeling too good at the moment, and the thought of staying in a cafe for any longer made your head hurt.

you just wanted to go back home, to lay on your bed and close your eyes for a little while.

"then, let's do that." a soft smile spread across his face as he spoke, before gently grabbing your hand and beginning to lead you out of the bathroom.

he had to guide you out of the bathroom, as you were still so weak from the entire ordeal.

you were trembling and your legs felt like they could fall out underneath you anytime.

the more you tried to walk by yourself, the more apparent it became that you were exhausted.

he kept a firm grip on your hand, as he held you in place and led you out of the cafe.

when you walked outside, the cold breeze made you shiver as your body adjusted to the sudden change in temperature. you were clearly uncomfortable and it was evident as you stopped walking and shivered once more.

he noticed the way you were shivering and it took everything in him to hide his annoyance.

he really couldn't stand how hard you worked to maintain this facade of yours, trying to act like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

"here." he said, as he wrapped his jacket around you to help with the cold.

"i don't need this." you spoke up, as you tried to shake off the jacket.

he looked at you with a stern gaze, his grip on the jacket remaining firm.

"you're obviously cold. we're not going to argue over this, you're wearing the jacket." he said sternly, but he couldn't help the slight irritation that laced his tone.

"but i said I don't need it…" you began to protest, though he interrupted you.

"well, I said you do. put the jacket on…" instead of arguing further with you, he simply began putting the jacket on you himself.

as he did, he remained closely positioned behind you, his body pressing against yours. he was keeping you warm as you were still trembling, the jacket was surprisingly large on you considering the fact that it was his.

"that's… way too big on me," you said out loud, as you felt how much space you had inside the jacket.

"well, it's better like this." he muttered before pulling the jacket more tightly around you.

since the jacket was big on you, you were able to fit inside of it quite snuggly, your body pressed up against his in the process.

his breath quickened as the feeling of you pressed up against him was much more apparent now that you were wearing the jacket.

he could feel your body, he could feel the heat radiating from your skin and he could feel every slight movement you made.

it was such a strange sensation, and for a brief moment, he felt tempted to lean his head onto the top of your head, which would certainly be better for his comfort, as well as hiding how badly he wanted to do that right now.

the way that his breath quickened caught you off-guard, and you noticed the sudden shift in his breathing.

but then, quickly, you remembered that you were pressed up against his body at the moment, and this is most likely why his breath had quickened.

there was a silent pause as he remained standing behind you while you were wearing his jacket, both of you remaining silent for a while until he finally spoke.

"you're still trembling…" he said quietly, and he continued to keep his body pressed against yours as he spoke.

"yeah, i uh…" you were unsure how to respond when he made that observation. you did indeed still feel cold, and you were shivering quite a lot.

even with the jacket on, you were still trembling and you thought it would lessen, but it had barely changed at all.

it only further made you realize just how frail and skinny you were…

"i'm fine… really" you said quickly, although it was quite obvious that you were lying.

"we should go to home now"

"right, yeah" you quickly nodded your head, agreeing with him.

you were still feeling extremely weak, and you wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep the entire day.

you were so tired, both mentally and physically. it was about time for you to lay down for a little while.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

when you got home, yuji led you to your bedroom, and you sat down on your bed.

you groaned and laid down shortly after as you felt your eyelids begin to droop a little bit as you closed your eyes.

yuji noticed the heavy bags under your eyes and it annoyed him because he immediately blamed himself for stressing you out this much.

but, even though you looked horrible, you still looked so beautiful to him, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from your frail self…

even if you were physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, he couldn't help but notice how pretty you looked in this state.

how small you looked as you laid down on the bed, it really was quite adorable.

even though he was irritated with you, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming urge to just go over and lay down next to you, and just embrace you…

he got on the bed next to you, laying down on his side so that he was facing you.

he laid his arm around you, pulling you in closer, and he brought himself even closer until he was almost pressed up against you.

he let out a soft sigh as he smiled down at you.

"get some sleep…" he whispered, as he began to slowly stroke your hair, hoping it would help to soothe you into a long and comfortable sleep.

he continued to stroke your hair for a while longer before he stopped and closed his eyes, allowing himself to sleep as well.

it had been a long day. for you and him.

your body relaxed as it was pressed up against his, and you could finally feel yourself slowly slipping away into a deep sleep.

you felt safe in his arms, and for a brief moment, you forgot about all the stresses that you had to deal with during the day.

||AT FAULT||🫀🩹 written by me

🔞 Adult!Yuji x reader| Minors DNI|TRIGGER WARNING 🔞

Tags:runned over,blood,angst,near death expierence,reader is "clumsy",hint of d*pression,hospital,coma,really depressing,lot of Yuji crying

inspired by //Vacation-young and this image

i'm no english native so sorry for some mistakes

P.s it's better read in Pumpkin theme [just go in settings and click on dashboard and then scroll down on "color palette"] and im writing this at 12:23 pm

and if it reaches idk like 100 likes i will do a part 2 ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶

Yuji’s eyes widened and he froze in place, trying to process what you'd just said.

"y/n..you've been hurting yourself..?"

Without a thought, his grip on your arm tightened and he spun you to face back to him.

"You've been hurting yourself…" he whispered, a new edge having entered his tone.

"no i haven't,you're mistaken" You sticked your tongue giggling as you spin around on yourself "i'm fine"

"You’re lying, and I know it."

Yuji sighed and looked directly into your eyes, there was no room for any lies.

"Tell me what's wrong, right now."

His hand tightened around your wrist, Yuji wasn’t going to let you slip away.

“You’ve always been clumsy but I know you’re not that clumsy.”

"Yuji please i always been clumsy" You giggled as you stepped on the road turning to him smiling before a car hitted you

"y/n-y/n!"

Yuji shrieked as his reflexes kicked in, pushing you away from the road just in time before a car was just mere seconds away from crashing into you.

"YOU DUMBASS."

The car came screeching to a halt, as did his heart.

He rushed towards you, frantically examining your body, making sure you hadn't been badly hurt, or worse, killed.

Everything was dizzy,your head hurted and your ankle was sprained,blood rushed down your head,nose and mouth,your eyes were glassy as they looked the clear sky as you smiled weakly.

"Stay with me, stay with me, look at me."

Yuji's hands were shaking as he tried to pull his mind out of panic mode.

The blood dripping down from your face and mouth didn't help his heart rate either.

"MOMO STAY WITH ME."

He shouted once again, his hands shakily grasping onto your shoulders, trying to keep you concious before someone could find you.

“D-don't close your eyes.”

Yuji voice echoed in your head,it was muffled but he only thing you knew was that you wanted to die,so you closed your eyes waiting

"DON'T…"

He shouted as your eyes began to drift close, the panic was slowly overtaking him.

"Y/N."

His hands gripped your shoulders tightly, trying to shake you awake, but his efforts were in vain.

"Y/N, GOD DAMN IT, DON‘T CLOSE YOUR EYES."

Yuji's voice grew more desperate with each word, eventually slipping into a near whisper as your eyes finally closed.

“No, no no no-no no-Y/N no--no…”

Yuji muttered under his breath, watching your limp body.

"y/n, please."

His hand gripped onto your shoulder, shaking you violently.

“Stay with me, stay with me, stay with me….”

He repeated that again and again, trying desperately to wake you up.

“PLEASE.”

Your eyes stared at Yuji,they were dull and your blood adorned your mouth as it dripped down you chin,you tried to speak but you couldn't and everything went black.

"No, c'mon…c'mon, c'mon…"

Yuji chanted, his voice growing more panicked as he kept shaking your shoulder, waiting for you to regain conciousness.

"You can't die, y-y/n…you ca-"

His words were cut short as realization hit him, he couldn't ignore the lack of movement from your body.

"y/n?"

He whispered, still shaking your shoulder, denial was still present but it was slowly changing into…something else.

Yuji's body went stiff, his grip still clinging onto your shoulders like it was gonna keep you from slipping away. He went silent as he stared at you, the same thought process running through his head over and over again.

“No…no…oh, god.”

Tears threatened to spill down his face but he didn’t let them, instead he squeezed his eyes closed, trying and failing to stop them as the realization set in.

“No…”

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Yuji was a mess sitting next to your hospital bed.

His eyes were red and puffy from the tears he'd shed, the bags under his eyes looked darker than usual, and the look of shock and disbelief still sat on his face.

He didn't look like he'd gotten any sleep last night, nor did it seem like he ate anything.

His body was stiff and frozen in place, he didn't even notice when the nurse walked by.

Yuji simply continued to sit there, staring at you.

Just sitting there while his thoughts and emotions ran rampant.

He was afraid, scared. And worried, so incredibly worried.

The thought of losing you consumed him, and he feared the worst was just around the corner.

The sound of the monitor beeped out a steady rhythm, it was the only sound breaking the silence, and even though he tried, he couldn't ignore the sound as he kept his eyes glued onto you.

Yuji was quiet as he shifted in his seat, moving his hands to his lap, he kept his gaze on you, watching for any signs that you were going to wake up.

As the minutes pass, Yuji slowly started to doze off, his eyes growing heavy and strained.

Yuji tried everything within his power to keep his eyes open, but it didn’t matter how he tried, he always had to blink, and every blink gave him a glimpse of what he fears more.

The possibility of never seeing you again.

Yuji's eyes grew darker. the realization slowly creeping into his mind.

the self-harm scars and the 'clumsy' antics…it all made sense to him now, and the pieces all started to fit together.

god, he thought to himself, i was so dense.

he knew you were always in a dark place, but he never knew it ran that deep. and now he was beating himself up over it.

if only i was better at reading the signs…

he thought to himself, his hands clenching into fists as he stared at the self-harm scars on your wrists.

if only i didn't brush past it as simply 'being clumsy'…i should've realized the warning signs. if i just saw what you were trying to tell me.

his jaw clenched, he looked away from the self-harm scars with a regretful look, the guilt only growing stronger.

as he stared away from the scars he noticed the small hospital bracelet on your wrist.

he could see his mind begin to process so many thoughts, questions, and more, none of which he could process.

the emotions kept creeping up in his throat, and when he opened his mouth, no words came out, only silence.

he kept staring at your wrist, staring at your name on the hospital bracelet.

‘y/n‘

he was completely lost in thought, the realization sinking in all at once.

he kept staring, taking in all the things you’ve kept from him, all the times you tried to cry for help.

the look of regret washed upon his face, but it also grew to a different kind of look.

anger.

not at you, of course, but at himself.

he wasn’t sure if it was the stress of the situation, nor was he sure if it was the fear of losing you, or some other reason, but one thing was for certain:

he was pissed.

he let out a small grunt of frustration, the anger growing inside him.

how could he be so oblivious back then?

how could he see the warning signs right in front of his face but brush it off with, she’s just being careless.

how much of him ignoring some of those warning signs led to where you are now, in a coma in a hospital bed?

he was pissed and he blamed himself for it.

he stared silently at you for an uncertain amount of time, the only sounds in the room being the constant beeping of the monitor.

he didn’t know what to do, and he was tired of having to be strong, of constantly having to keep his head high despite the world crashing down around him.

he felt tired, exhausted, the weight of everything bearing down on him, and it was making it near impossible to be okay.

so he did the only thing he knew.

he cried.

he cried, trying his damnedest to try and keep his emotions in check, but he couldn’t.

tears flooded his eyes and his throat tightened when he tried his best to keep the sobs in, but he was hopeless.

his hands clenched into fists as he let his tears flow, the emotions he kept bottled up for so long all poured out at exactly the wrong time.

he was hopeless, and he felt hopeless.

it was just too much for him to bear.

tears dripped down his face, as he continued to cry, his chest rising and falling with each breath.

he felt weak, both physically and emotionally, and it took all his strength to not curl up in a ball on the floor and just let out a torrent of tears.

"Come on, y/n" he muttered out, wiping at his eyes with the back of his hand.

His tears fell onto the hospital bed, and the sobs continued.

"No, you can't die on me…" he whispered, his jaw tightening as the sobs continued escaping from his body.

"Not after all the bullshit we've been through, and definitely not now, not now."

His words became jumbled as he spoke through his sobs, his grief-stricken mind couldn't think straight at all.

"If you die now," he muttered through his sobs "then it'll be my fault."

"I let you go on and never realized how close to the edge you were, and it was my fault."

His words were choked and blurred, but he knew what he was trying to say.

"So you have to pull through, you have to wake up so we can fight this god damned situation."

"…I beg of you…p-please."

"I need you…" he whispered, his fingers clenching into fists as the sobs began to subside, being replaced by short but heavy breaths.

"You mean the world to me, and--and I need you…"

His voice fell quiet, as the guilt and regret once again crept up on him.

He took a shaky breath, looking at your body for a long moment, before speaking again.

"I don't think I can do this without you…"

"So please…" he continued, his voice shaky and his mind cluttered, his fingers beginning to fidget with the sheet on your hospital bed.

"Please don't go…" "Please don't die…"

he muttered, trying to keep himself calm and composed.

but he couldn't, he was desperate, clinging onto hope and just barely keeping his head above water.

"W-wake up…please."

"Please…" he repeated, his voice getting even shakier and his breathing becoming more rapid as the weight of the situation pressed down on him again.

the hospital bed was starting to become a symbol of a prison to him, trapping him from a reality where he wouldn't have to see you lying dormant like this.

he was afraid of every second passing, as every second made him realize that there was no guarantee you would be alright.

he just wanted to see you awake, he wanted to see you and hold you in his arms and hear you say you'd be okay.

"Please…wake up, wake up, wake up…" he repeated in a whisper, becoming more and more erratic with each passing second.

"Come on, you can do it…please…"

He kept repeating the same words over and over again, hoping that you would eventually hear him in your slumber.

He was trying so hard to stay calm and not slip up into another round of sobs, but the pressure was getting to him, his grip tightening on the sheet.

"You have to…" he muttered, as his entire body trembled.

"Please just wake up…"

His mind fell silent for a moment before it began to fill up with worry, dread, and pure anxiety.

He wanted you be to be okay more than anything.

And if that couldn't be the case…

If you couldn't wake up…

Then he didn't know how he was going to keep going.