Sad Poem - Tumblr Posts

I want to disapear and never be found

Take me in your arms (Miss Heroin)

By: unknown

So now, little man, you've grown tired of grass

LSD, goofballs, cocaine and hash,

And someone,pretending to be a true friend,

said, "I'll introduce you to Miss Heroin".

Well honey, before you start fooling with me,

Just let me inform you of how it will be.

For I will seduce you and make you my slave,

I've sent men much stronger than you to their graves,

You think you could never become a disgrace,

And end up addicted to poppy seed waste.

So you'll start inhaling me one afternoon,

you'll take me to your arms very soon.

And once I've entered deep down in your veins,

The craving will nearly drive you insane.

You'll swidle your mother, just for a buck

You'll turn into something vile and corrupt,

You'll mug and you'll steal for my narcotic charm

And feel contentment when I'm in your arms.

The day you'll realize the monster you've grown,

You'll solemly swear to live me alone.

If you think you've got that mystical knack,

Then sweetie, just try getting me off your back.

The vomit, the cramps, your gut tied in knots,

The jangling nerves screaming for one more shot,

The hot chills and cold sweats and withdrawl pains,

That can only be saved by my white little grains.

There is no other way, and there is no need to look,

For deep down inside, you know you are hooked.

You'll despretly run to the pushers and then,

You'll welcome me back to your arms once again.

And you will return, just as I foretold!

I know that you'll give me your body and soul.

You'll give up your morals, your conscience, your heart,

And you will be mine 'till death do us part.

when Sylvia Plath said "I want so obviously, so desperately to be loved, and to be capable of love. I am still so naive; I know pretty much what I like and and dislike; but please, don't ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?"

it hit.

this one moment when you know you're not a sad story, you're alive.. ☾⋆⁺₊🎧✧

I fear I can't hold you as you should be held

I'm sorry my skin is so rough

I'd hoped it'd stop burning with your hand in mine

I wish I could handle your touch

If only my arms wouldn't grate at your flesh

If only I wasn't so sharp

Then I could be something you'd want for a while

I'd get a real glimpse at your heart

-kade

I look at him, eyes filled with what I think is love.

He doesn't notice I'm staring,and surely doesn't know the reason why.

Its a strange feeling knowing the boy I love won't give me a second thought.

When I look at him all I can see is what I wish our relationship was.

What I wish I meant to him.

He barely gives me a passing glance.

But it has nothing to do with me, no.

Not my looks, or the way my voice sounds.

Not the way I dress or even how I act.

Because all he's ever looking at is the girl beside me.

She's no stranger, she's been my friend long before highschool.

I know he likes her in a romantic way. He so very fond of her.

It hurts realizing that he'll never look at me like he looks at her.

I can't be mad or hate her.

I cant't blame him either, anyone would be lucky to have her.

The way she laughs and can light up a room with her jokes.

The way she can comfort people, saying all the right things.

I cant compare to her.

I wished people looked at me the way they look at her.

I wish he would look at me, the way he looks at her.

I thought about you again. But it's not the same as it used to be. I didn't get the urge to text you. I didn't even think of actually unblocking you. I would have before. i miss who you were but not enough to break no contact I looked back at a video of you. you playing your stupid fucking guitar.

Then I took a guitar class. It wasn't much of a choice now that I think of it. But now I am forced to remember you. Every other day. Whether I want to or not.

I don't miss you how I used to. I don't have dreams about you coming back into my life, not anymore. I don’t cry thinking about you. And it's great, it's wonderful actually But as much as I don't miss you. As much as I want to forget about you entirely. You still hold a small piece of my heart. I wish you didn’t, believe me I wish you didn't. but you do. You forever will, unfortunately.

You still own some of those love songs. And you definitely still own some of those break up songs. Funny, how I look for the two sides of you in the lyrics of two very opposite topics. Songs about the joy of falling for you. Songs about the bitter heartbreak after I fell. And the fact you weren't there to catch me.

Why did you do that? Why did you make me believe that you loved me back? Why? I know that we weren't meant for one another. In hindsight we probably never were. Although sometimes I still wish we were.

Depressed feelings you can't quite escape

But when the numbness takes over

You realize how comforting you're own sadness felt

I don't know if you ever truly loved me.

I think you wanted to love me.

before I actually got attached.

after I did you realized a relationship was something you actually had to work at.

you love bombed me.and you can't take it back.

even if it wasn't intentional I believe that's what happened.

I don't want to paint myself out as a victim.

I know I wasn't the best either.

but give me a little credit.

I was the one who still started a conversation.

even though I'd be left on delivered for hours or opened for days.

I guess you were always too busy to make that time for me.

Which is fine.

live your life how you want to.

do as many things as you want to.

You deserve to focus on things that matter.

but you couldn't just expect me to wait around for you.

Especially when you couldn't even express anything towards me.

Other than your annoyance to my nagging or anger to my need.

That's not how a relationship works.

But I really wanted us to work.

You were my best friend.

My person. I

know you already know this but I still think about you.

I really know I shouldn't but I do.

I cant help it.

The heartache is still there.

but it doesn't hurt the same anymore.

My world doesn't revolve around.

I don't think about it as often.

But it's still there.

Maybe it always will be.

I really really really really wanted it to be you.

I guess I just wasn't good enough.

Was I?

"I love you. why can't you accept that?"

I want to believe you

I really want to

and I'm trying

God I'm really trying

but I can't

for some reason

I can't

I can't imagine anyone could ever think of me that way

and I know if I keep pushing you away you'll end up leaving

and I take full responsibility that it would be my fault

no matter how hard I try I can't accept your way of thinking.

Why do you love me?

How could you love me?

I could list all my flaws

you cannot tell me you would still love me

and if you did

I don't believe it

I can't

no matter how much I want to.

You'll leave I know you will.

You will see that I am not worth it.

I'm not worth all the time or the effort.

You will realize that I am too much work.

I'm too complicated.

I need you to understand.

You can keep trying

But I can't guarantee I will ever accept that anyone could love me.

A ghost appeared above me.

It was the ghost of a girl.

About my age.

She looked strangely familiar.

That's when I realized.

It was me.

"I'm glad you were strong, love." She said floating above me with a smile of great relief.

I look at her shaking my head in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I was doing so well."

"Really I was."

"I was getting better."

"Please, I can still be strong."

I feel tears streaking down my face.

"Please. Please. Please. Please."

I beg with the ghost of myself.

She shakes her head.

"You don't have to hold on anymore, love." She tells me, pushing my hair behind my ear.

"You were the strongest you could've been." she says.

"I have to go now. But I am so proud of you." She silently disappeared.

I never saw her again.

6am Poem

***Sad Poem, Sorry***

It's dark in here

I know it will only get darker from here

I think its because I'm dead

I remember thinking I was still asleep

No

I was waking up

I was in the hospital with my mommy and my daddy

No

my mom and dad

When I sat up

No

When I opened my eyes I saw my dad’s silent tears

Drop drop drop

It was strange because mom was throwing her papers around

Her precious papers

The ones with names and dates and insurance and…

Ha

I had never seen the pictures with them

The hand-drawn ones

Mom was a hurricane

She screamed and cried and not a tear fell

I can't quite see the clock on the far side of the room now

My hand

No something that used to be my hand

Was in my dad’s

That was the last bright thing I would see

I looked around for…

Well I suppose for someone to guide me

There was no road away no specter to take me

So I stayed

Mom and dad went into a fury to find who did this to me

Who was to blame for six months in a coma

For my… for the end

For some reason, the doctors lied

They said it was an accident

Someone hit me and I crashed

I can hardly see the edge of the table now

For a moment I could see what I did like a red brand on my chest

I drank and drank and drank

And drank

I drank myself to the edge

Somewhere; somewhere deep inside of me had already jumped

But I still drove

Drove off the road

Drove down the cliff

Drove right into a tree

My pain…

I don't want to talk about the pain

Not now that I can only see this paper

I remember wanting to say goodbye

To say I love you one more time

I guess I can

like this

On a page on my desk

But I don't think mommy and daddy will come into my room

They won't find this

I can't see anythin

love your little girl

Is it so wrong to feel wanted

To feel loved

To be picked

Even when you know it's all an illusion

It's not real

They're just bored

I opened her letter

Or what I thought was a letter

I was surprised when all I saw were two words

"I'm sorry"

I look at her mother's letter

The paper says the same two words

I realize none of them say anything different

But if she was sorry

Why did she do it?

She's not sorry

I hate her for it

The scars

The blood

The sharpness of the blade dragging across your skin

The breath of release

The release of all the bad feelings

The pain

If you focus on the pain

You can't focus on the bad thoughts

You don't have to think about the loneliness

or the anger

or the sadness

The emptiness in your chest

You don't have to think about any of it right now

How bad you're getting

How bad you've already gotten

The feeling of pain washes out any other thought

Drowns it out

Before the familiar guilt floods in

The anger

The sadness

The loneliness

The emptiness

Now being replaced with that horrible feeling

Being trapped by long sleeves, bracelets, and, concealer

Please don't make me stop

It helps

Maybe if I was prettier

Or skinnier

Or smarter

Or quieter

If I was enough for him

Maybe he'd love me again

Or maybe he would love me

Did he ever?

His actions make me doubt his words

But still I desperately wish to be enough

My mother’s sadness is an ocean above me.

It is a murky sea i walk into each morning,

A little bit of my body disappearing with every step,

Until i am unable to tell where i end and where this tsunami begins.

Now, i open my mouth

— just a little wider than yesterday —

And i force the saltwater down my throat.

My lungs expand, they burn

— just a little bit more than yesterday —

And the raging waves become slow tides.

They roll over me soothingly

As my body sinks to the sea floor once more.

Tomorrow, i wake up.

My mother’s ocean is no longer there.

Yet,

My lungs ache,

They throb,

As a saline flood pushes against them.

My lord, 

Why do you do this? 

Why must i burn in the flames of my fathers sins, 

While he stands by my ashes

And prays for more light.