About Life - Tumblr Posts

Oh wow, this made me realize how much I'm more focused on my future than the present.

||PRETENDING|| ル ˖ ♡ ₍ ᐢ..ᐢ ₎ 📍 ࣪ . › written by me

Yuji x reader|D*PRESSION TRIGGER WARNING

Plot:You felt down about everything and about your art style so Yuji tries to cheer you up

Tags:You're Yuji best friend,self loathing,hating towards oneself,crying,venting,not eating nor drinking,vomiting,anorexia(reader)

please reblog 🔁 and like❤️

Art not mine⚠️👐😟,if you know the artist let me know in the comments

P.S: i have made a dark theme blog go check it out! Minors DNI!

@muzansslxt @candy69gurl @kiwicopia

"My drawings sucks,my art style is horrible,my favourite characters looks shitty in my art style" You sobbed wiping away your tears "I'm not good enough even at what I like"

Yuji sighed and gently brushed away the remaining tears on your face, his thumb gently circling your chin. he didn't like seeing you like this, he hated it, in fact.

Seeing you like this, and knowing your mindset towards life, made him realize that no one would be more devastated than him if you were to ever disappear from this world.

"your art style doesn't suck." he said quietly. "i quite like it, actually. and i'm sure others do too."

"But...I tried to draw you but..it's not in a realistic style or anything...it's just...simplified style" You whimpered takout your sketchbook and handing it at Yuji

he took the sketchbook from your hands, looking at the drawings you were referring to as he quietly flipped through the pages.

despite you calling it simple and being disappointed with it, he thought they seemed lovely. it was quite different from how other people drew and he really liked that about your style.

"and i love it." he replied with a small smile as he looked up at you again. as he did, his other hand slipped underneath your chin again and tilted your head upwards so that you were now looking right into his eyes.

"But I don't" you sobbed covering your face "I don't and I hate myself for it because I'm not like others"

his grip on your cheek remained firm as he held your face upwards. all of these thoughts, self-inflicted pain and negativity you had towards yourself had to end one way or another.

"you're right, you're not like other people. but that's not a bad thing" he spoke softly once more, while the hand that was holding onto your cheek now also moved to gently caress your cheek.

"and that's exactly what makes you unique" his voice remained gentle as he maintained eye contact with you.

"but i'm not like you aither,i'm not happy,positive i don't smile at life"

"well, i don't want you to be like me" he responded with a soft chuckle.

his fingers stopped the gentle caressing motion and moved down to your side.

"and trust me, i'm the furthest thing away from being fully happy"

he paused once more, before finally speaking again.

"i… i wish you could see yourself the way i see you"

his eyes scanned you up and down. as he did, he realized just how frail and thin you looked, as if you were some walking skeleton. the bags underneath your eyes, the pale colour of your skin and the fact that you rubbed your hand once more told him the things you never mentioned but he always suspected.

"how long was the last time you ate?" he questioned quietly.

"i…" you couldn't bring yourself to answer the question. you didn't even know how much time had passed since you ate last. you simply shrugged your shoulders, trying to avoid the topic.

he seemed unamused by your answer.

"tell me." he asked forcefully this time, his tone having shifted into a stern one.

you remained silent. you weren't going to tell him that you hadn't eaten in days, and you knew how much he'd hate this.

he'd probably think that he wasn't doing enough, that you weren't eating because you were upset or that he somehow wasn't doing enough to keep you happy. and, well, you didn't want that to happen.

"I'm not hungry" you finally spoken up, and even that was a lie, but it was better than admitting the truth… right?

he sighed as he heard your words.

his grip on your hands tightened once more as he stared at you, his gaze turning into one of irritation.

he didn't fall for your lie, and he was not going to take "i'm not hungry" for an answer.

"so, you're telling me you haven't eaten anything in over-" he paused, unsure of just how much time passed without you eating. "days?"

"why does it matters anyway?" You pouted looking away and turning your back at Yuji

"because you're killing yourself by not eating." his tone remained harsh, but he refused to loosen his grip on your hand.

"and i don't like that." he said simply.

he wasn't lying when he said that he didn't like that you were doing this to yourself. when he saw you starving yourself, he felt like he'd do anything to get you to eat again.

"Well I don't feel like to" you replied looking away "I don't feel hungry,I don't feel thirsty"

"well, even if you don't feel like eating, you have to." he replied once more, and it was only now that you finally noticed how tightly his hand held onto yours.

his grasp never loosened, despite your attempts to move his hand away.

"how about something to drink then?" his tone had changed slightly, as he asked this question. "just anything."

You sighed as you looked down "a tea" you whimpered feeling weak

"tea?" he raised an eyebrow at you, before gently letting go of your hand.

he was now on high alert when it came to your habits of not eating and starving.

"follow me." he said quietly.

yuji walked to a nearby cafe, gently keeping an eye on you, and once you were there, he ordered you some green tea along with anything you wanted to eat.

"take a seat" he said as he guided you to an empty table.

after getting you a table, he sat down opposite of you, eyeing your movements. he didn't like how you looked, it was clear that you had been starving yourself.

"now, you're going to drink that." he said simply, gesturing to the glass of green tea in front of you. "then, you're going to eat something."

even if you didn't feel like eating, he was going to make sure that you ate something. his gaze was firm, and he wouldn't accept no for an answer.

his gaze remained on you as he waited for you to take your first sip of the glass of green tea.

he could tell immediately after you took your first sip that the glass of green tea would be the only thing you had that day.

after you took a few more sips, he took a small plate, filled it up with some sandwiches and placed it in front of you.

"eat." he said quietly but strongly, as his gaze remained on you the entire time.

once again he noticed how you looked away when you glanced at the plate of food.

his jaw tensed slightly, and he moved the plate of food closer to you.

"try a piece." his tone was firm and there was little to no room for negotiation.

With your trembling hand you tooked the sandwich but as soon as you bited it...you felt nauseous and you runned to the bathroom of the cafe

the second he saw your trembling hand and noticed the uneasiness on your face, he instinctively knew the outcome of it all.

without letting you get a word in, his instincts kicked in and he was quick to sprint to the bathroom.

he found you hunched over the toilet sink, gagging and struggling not to empty your stomach.

"god damn it..." he muttered under his breath, his hands balled up into tight fists as he glared at your small frame.

his jaw tightened as he heard the sound of you gagging and throwing up some of the tea.

he was fuming on the inside but he kept it in, taking deep breaths to calm down.

he took a step closer to you from behind, and without thinking much, he started rubbing your back, hoping to soothe you atleast somewhat.

*just calm down* he repeated to himself in his head, hoping that it'd work, even just a little.

he held you in his embrace, staying close even when you were still gagging.

as the sound decreased, his hand continued to rub your back until you stopped throwing up the tea, a sigh escaping his body as he breathed in relief.

he was now holding you in his embrace, waiting until you'd calm down a bit, his expression showing nothing but annoyance as he looked down at you, waiting for this madness to finally stop.

he sighed softly as you finished throwing up. the entire time, he made sure not to let his grip on your back loosen, until you finally stopped and there was a hint of silence from your end.

once you had quieted down, and there wasn't any sound in the bathroom at all, yuji spoke up again.

"are you done?" he asked quietly.

as he waited for your response, he noticed how you were still trembling, whether from the aftermath of the throwing up session or the fact that you hadn't eaten anything all day, he couldn't tell.

with his other hand, he grabbed a small pack of napkins, before passing it over to you.

"wipe your mouth, and then wash your face." he said softly this time, as he finally released his grip on your back and stepped away from you.

"I'm...sorry.." you whined "I.. I tought I could overcome it all by myself" your coughed

as you apologized to him, his eyebrows furrowed slightly when he heard the sound of your cough. you sounded like you could cough up a lung at any moment, and just hearing your frail state, it made him feel terrible.

"you shouldn't have attempted to 'overcome it' by yourself, not when you know how much you struggle." he replied as he watched you wipe your mouth with the napkin.

"now, wash your face."

he paused when he realized how shaky your hands were, and as you struggled to grip the pack of napkins with ease, he was silently reminded of how frail you were.

he wasn't going to let you do everything on your own anymore.

"come here." he said as he beckoned you to come to him. once you were closer to him, he grabbed the pack from you and began wiping down your face for you.

after he wiped down your face, he noticed that you still seemed like you were struggling to stand up. with the lack of food and the exhaustion it caused you, it was no wonder you were so weak right now.

"sit..." he instructed gently with a gentle push towards the sink.

after you did so, he grabbed a paper cup, filled it with water and handed it to you.

"Drink this." he said quietly.

he noticed the way you were struggling to grip the paper cup with your frail hand, and it only further reinforced to him that you needed to be cared for more than he initially thought.

he was right. you weren't eating or drinking enough.

"drink... slowly." he added on, as he watched you drink the water.

after you had taken a few sips and seemed to take your time with the water, he finally let out a sigh of relief. at least you were drinking something.

he looked at you for a few minutes more, seemingly inspecting your small frame as you sipped on the water, before finally speaking up once more.

"are you feeling any better?" his tone was still slightly concerned, but there was a much softer edge to it, unlike earlier where he spoke with more firmness.

you weren't the type of person to admit when you were physically not feeling alright, but you could never lie to him when he did ask you. you tried to hold back your groan of pain though, it was getting increasingly difficult to do so as your stomach was protesting the emptiness.

you were exhausted, both mentally and physically, and you had barely eaten anything today. your stomach was in pain and your head felt like it could split at any moment.

"bad..." you said quietly, with a hint of an ashamed tone in your voice.

you sounded so weak right now, and it broke his heart.

he was so mad at you for refusing to eat all day and for not telling him about it, but all of this only caused him more concern. he didn't understand why you were so persistent in hiding everything from him.

"do you want to leave?" he asked softly, his gaze still locked onto yours.

you thought about it for a moment before you slowly nodded your head. you definitely weren't feeling too good at the moment, and the thought of staying in a cafe for any longer made your head hurt.

you just wanted to go back home, to lay on your bed and close your eyes for a little while.

"then, let's do that." a soft smile spread across his face as he spoke, before gently grabbing your hand and beginning to lead you out of the bathroom.

he had to guide you out of the bathroom, as you were still so weak from the entire ordeal.

you were trembling and your legs felt like they could fall out underneath you anytime.

the more you tried to walk by yourself, the more apparent it became that you were exhausted.

he kept a firm grip on your hand, as he held you in place and led you out of the cafe.

when you walked outside, the cold breeze made you shiver as your body adjusted to the sudden change in temperature. you were clearly uncomfortable and it was evident as you stopped walking and shivered once more.

he noticed the way you were shivering and it took everything in him to hide his annoyance.

he really couldn't stand how hard you worked to maintain this facade of yours, trying to act like everything was fine when it clearly wasn't.

"here." he said, as he wrapped his jacket around you to help with the cold.

"i don't need this." you spoke up, as you tried to shake off the jacket.

he looked at you with a stern gaze, his grip on the jacket remaining firm.

"you're obviously cold. we're not going to argue over this, you're wearing the jacket." he said sternly, but he couldn't help the slight irritation that laced his tone.

"but i said I don't need it…" you began to protest, though he interrupted you.

"well, I said you do. put the jacket on…" instead of arguing further with you, he simply began putting the jacket on you himself.

as he did, he remained closely positioned behind you, his body pressing against yours. he was keeping you warm as you were still trembling, the jacket was surprisingly large on you considering the fact that it was his.

"that's… way too big on me," you said out loud, as you felt how much space you had inside the jacket.

"well, it's better like this." he muttered before pulling the jacket more tightly around you.

since the jacket was big on you, you were able to fit inside of it quite snuggly, your body pressed up against his in the process.

his breath quickened as the feeling of you pressed up against him was much more apparent now that you were wearing the jacket.

he could feel your body, he could feel the heat radiating from your skin and he could feel every slight movement you made.

it was such a strange sensation, and for a brief moment, he felt tempted to lean his head onto the top of your head, which would certainly be better for his comfort, as well as hiding how badly he wanted to do that right now.

the way that his breath quickened caught you off-guard, and you noticed the sudden shift in his breathing.

but then, quickly, you remembered that you were pressed up against his body at the moment, and this is most likely why his breath had quickened.

there was a silent pause as he remained standing behind you while you were wearing his jacket, both of you remaining silent for a while until he finally spoke.

"you're still trembling…" he said quietly, and he continued to keep his body pressed against yours as he spoke.

"yeah, i uh…" you were unsure how to respond when he made that observation. you did indeed still feel cold, and you were shivering quite a lot.

even with the jacket on, you were still trembling and you thought it would lessen, but it had barely changed at all.

it only further made you realize just how frail and skinny you were…

"i'm fine… really" you said quickly, although it was quite obvious that you were lying.

"we should go to home now"

"right, yeah" you quickly nodded your head, agreeing with him.

you were still feeling extremely weak, and you wanted nothing more than to just go home and sleep the entire day.

you were so tired, both mentally and physically. it was about time for you to lay down for a little while.

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚

when you got home, yuji led you to your bedroom, and you sat down on your bed.

you groaned and laid down shortly after as you felt your eyelids begin to droop a little bit as you closed your eyes.

yuji noticed the heavy bags under your eyes and it annoyed him because he immediately blamed himself for stressing you out this much.

but, even though you looked horrible, you still looked so beautiful to him, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from your frail self…

even if you were physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted, he couldn't help but notice how pretty you looked in this state.

how small you looked as you laid down on the bed, it really was quite adorable.

even though he was irritated with you, he couldn't help but feel an overwhelming urge to just go over and lay down next to you, and just embrace you…

he got on the bed next to you, laying down on his side so that he was facing you.

he laid his arm around you, pulling you in closer, and he brought himself even closer until he was almost pressed up against you.

he let out a soft sigh as he smiled down at you.

"get some sleep…" he whispered, as he began to slowly stroke your hair, hoping it would help to soothe you into a long and comfortable sleep.

he continued to stroke your hair for a while longer before he stopped and closed his eyes, allowing himself to sleep as well.

it had been a long day. for you and him.

your body relaxed as it was pressed up against his, and you could finally feel yourself slowly slipping away into a deep sleep.

you felt safe in his arms, and for a brief moment, you forgot about all the stresses that you had to deal with during the day.

You didn't love her. You just didn't want to be alone. Or maybe, maybe she was just good for your ego. Or, or maybe she made you feel better about your miserable life. But you didn't love her. Because you don't destroy people you love.

Grey's Anatomy

weak people revenge. strong people forgive. intelligent people ignore.

unknown

Always remember how much you wanted to be loved

Fast jeder von uns begeht diesen Fehler, nach jemanden zu suchen, der einen vervollständigt...Es wird nach jemanden gesucht, der uns glücklich macht...Jemand, der diese Lücke in unserem Leben füllt..Haben sie dann jemanden gefunden, werden sie irgendwann nach einigen Monaten oder Jahren feststellen, dass da immer noch diese Leere ist..

wir blamieren und betrügen unsere Partner, zerstören vielleicht sogar ganze Familien.. und ersetzen die bisherigen Menschen für jemanden von dem wir uns so viel mehr versprechen..

Jemand, der uns mehr verspricht.. schönere Dinge ins Ohr säuselt..Jemand, bei dem wir denken, "dieser Mensch würde mich soviel glücklicher machen.."

So geht das immer weiter..bis wir irgendwann kapieren, dass nicht andere dafür zuständig sind, diese Leere in uns zu füllen. Denn nur wir selbst können uns glücklich machen und dürfen nicht erwarten, dass andere das für uns tun!  

Und wenn man reif genug ist, erkennt man, dass der frühere Partner bereits dieses Lücke in unserem Leben geschlossen hatte...  Wir haben nur vergeblich nach Etwas gesucht, dass das Loch in unserem Herzen füllt.. und der Grund warum es nicht ging war, dass das Loch in unserem Herzen bereits gefüllt war.

Always remember how much you wanted to be loved and how much you are loved.

inspired by desperate housewives <3

THERE IS A REASON I SAID I'D BE HAPPY ALONE. IT WASNT BECAUS I THOUGHT I WOULD BE HAPPY ALONE. IT WAS BECAUSE I THOUGHT IF I LOVED SOMEONE AND THEN IT FELL APART. I MIGHT NOT MAKE IT. IT'S EASIER TO BE ALONE. BECAUSE WHAT IF YOU LEARN THAT YOU NEED LOVE? AND THEN YOU DONT HAVE IT. WHAT IF YOU LIKE IT? AND LEAN ON IT? WHAT IF YOU SHAPE YOUR LIFE AROUND IT? AND THEN IT FALLS APART? CAN YOU EVEN SURVIVE THAT KIND OF PAIN? LOOSING LOVE IS LIKE ORGAN DAMAGE. IT'S LIKE DYING. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS, DEATH ENDS. THIS? IT COULD GO ON FOREVER...

Greys anatomy

let's ride horses at midnight