These Weapons I Make, The Weapons I Attach To Myself, They're For Self Defense Right? They're Only A

These weapons I make, the weapons I attach to myself, they're for self defense right? They're only a precaution right? Only two blades and a blunt object. That's where it'll end, right? Why do I feel like the more I make weapons, the closer I get to wrapping my hands around the grip of a glock? Am I turning myself away from my empathetic and gentle origins? I don't want to hurt people. I don't like it when people get hurt. Not usually. If I make more weapons am I only putting up the barricade around me with a door for friends or will the wall block out everyone? I don't want to be alone again.

So many weapons that could be made, and yet I don't know if I could even get myself to use them. I don't know if I could willingly put a blade through someone's flesh or bash a blunt object against someone's skull. Am I turning myself into a danger?

If I let myself strike someone, how long until I can strike at the ones I love without remorse? I need protection, I know, but how much is too much?

When do I wind up going too far?

https://www.tumblr.com/karamrafeek/754196219096694784/help-karam-al-nabih-and-his-family-rebuild-their?source=share

Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏🙏

Hello everyone, I am Karam Al Nabih from Gaza. All my dreams have been shattered now in Gaza. I am a software engineer in my last semester, but now my home, my dreams, and my university have been destroyed.

All my dreams have been destroyed 😞 I hope you share , support and donate

Repoooost & donate please after read my story, that's urgent! 🇵🇸🍉

Please don't skip helping me and my sick mother to rebuild our lives. Any donation, even a small one, will make a difference 🙏🙏

Donate even if it is 10 euros or 15 euros or more، The smallest donation makes a difference in my life

I sincerely appreciate your help and look forward to your continued support🥺❤️

https://gofund.me/7c433301

Vatted by @nabulsi @90-ghost

Please donate or share help me reach my goal

I can spread this message along to many more others, as I currently don't have the funds to help financially. I hope you're able to stay safe and stay alive.

My family in Gaza is suffering beyond description. The war has left us with no choice but to live in constant fear, between every sound of bombing and the endless showers of bullets. Every day they wake up to the sounds of explosions, and every night they go to sleep hoping for a better tomorrow.

My family has suffered from the loss of security, and the loss of the home that was their shelter. The airstrikes turned everything into rubble, and all that remains for them is memories of their former life. But worst of all is the constant worry for their loved ones, every moment they live in worry for those under the rubble.

Even with all this pain, they have not lost hope. They gather around one table, clinging to each other, and defying the circumstances with their inner strength. They know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is long and dark.

Living in Gaza means fighting for survival every day. But my family is strong, and they know that this ordeal will not last forever. They will remain united, despite all the difficulties, because love and hope are what keep them alive.

Your donation, even a small one, makes a huge difference in the lives of my family and thousands of families in Gaza. Every contribution brings hope and dignity for a better future.

[https://gofund.me/ba5b76e9]

I'm sorry, as I don't currently have the funds to donate, but I can try my best to spread this post so others can see it and help as best they can. Please stay safe and stay alive.

https://www.tumblr.com/karamrafeek/754196219096694784/help-karam-al-nabih-and-his-family-rebuild-their?source=share

Hello, I hope you and your family are well. Can you please help me recycle the post on my account? 🌺 And help rescue my family from the war in Gaza? 🙏🙏

Hello everyone, I am Karam Al Nabih from Gaza. All my dreams have been shattered now in Gaza. I am a software engineer in my last semester, but now my home, my dreams, and my university have been destroyed.

All my dreams have been destroyed 😞 I hope you share , support and donate

Repoooost & donate please after read my story, that's urgent! 🇵🇸🍉

Please don't skip helping me and my sick mother to rebuild our lives. Any donation, even a small one, will make a difference 🙏🙏

Donate even if it is 10 euros or 15 euros or more، The smallest donation makes a difference in my life

I sincerely appreciate your help and look forward to your continued support🥺❤️

https://gofund.me/7c433301

Vatted by @nabulsi @90-ghost

Please donate or share help me reach my goal

I will do my best to spread this, hopefully the right people find the message and can donate. Please stay safe, with hope you will survive.

09/13/2024

At around 11:25 pm

It was a nice man and his friend who I decided to help get to a destination since they were stranded. The nice guy was saying how he had been having a terrible day earlier while I was just getting gas. It was mostly all fine, just awkward as they hailed from a different type of town. Probably in a gang of some sort. They asked if I was into weed, but I declined. When I got to the destination I declined payment from the nice man and he got out of the car. His friend said something, probably implying something dirty, but I was too dissociative to fully register it or think about it. He attempted to reach for my chest from the back seat. I stopped him. I should've made him pay more than $5 for every time he attempted to get me to kiss him with his words. He tried to kiss my cheek after giving me the money. He got out of the car. He told me I was pretty.

Nothing truly happened that night but I was nearly groped and was harassed. I don't even know if this could count as SA at all. It made me shakey when I got back home. I needed to get the smell of the men out of the car so I just doused everything in as much perfume as I could handle. The smell burned my nose and stung my lungs. I couldn't be that touchy with my partner, not when the image of his hands reaching from the back seat was still in my head. It's just a really bad memory, though it was two days ago.

I swore to myself the day after that I wouldn't let the ignorant man make the word "pretty" a venomous thing. That I wouldn't let myself entirely break down. I have weapons and not weapons in my car now, and on my body. Two items created by me, and one item originally for cutting paracord. I'm still shaky and weak. I'm still recovering from the bad memory from three days ago, still calming down.

I refuse to let cruelty take my heart, though I'm more weary now of who I should help. Who I should let in my car. Hopefully this world changes for the better soon.