Tw Sa - Tumblr Posts

'but what about women????!!!!' we get it, you hate men and think they don't have valid issues. please get out of the nuanced gender discussion and go back to your elementary school playground shenanigans lookin ass group of man hating 'feminists'

Fun Fact!

Did you know you can talk about the discriminations that men go through WITHOUT saying women aren't discriminated against?

Men, whether cis or trans, should be able to talk about the discrimination they face in some circumstances (especially their suicide rates) without someone hopping into the conversation and saying "BUT WHAT ABOUT WOMEN?!"

Yes, women have problems, but we can't act like they're the ONLY people who have problems.

Male suicide rates are something to be concerned about! 22.8 out of 100,000 is still a lot! That's 75,924 out of 333mil people (the population of the USA in 2022) committing suicide! Female suicide rates are SIGNIFICANTLY lower at only 5.7 out of 100,000. That's 18,981 out of 333mil people. Still a lot of people! But, evidently something is affecting men more here, and that needs to be addressed!

And if someone brings up how often women are raped? We don't truly know the actual statistics of either gender because rape goes SEVERELY UNDERREPORTED BY BOTH GENDERS! But male victims of rape (in my personal experience) are taken less seriously, ESPECIALLY if their rapist was a woman, getting comments like "Wow, you were so lucky! I wish I could bang her," or "Don't lie, men can't be raped! You probably liked it anyways!"

I speak as a rape survivor myself who is AFAB and transmasc, who suffered severe social isolation and several suicide attempts after I mentioned to my friends I was raped, AS A CHILD (my rapist was just a month younger than me), and most of my friends took the side of my rapist.

Let people talk about the discrimination they face without being made fun of.

pls rb if you think cuddling doesn't have to be s3xual

im tryna prove a point to my bf's mother help me out

Why do I traumatize ducks? I have no idea I may have a little fuck up brain but well I need to live with it

I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THIS!!

But why tf is my ex, who has coerced me (more than once) reblogging this? Does he really think he's the victim here? Especially since he has received no negative impact for his actions. I received negative impact, I am still receiving negative impact. I am aware I told many people about it, probably too many, but he does not see how his actions are damaging. He hurt me and he will continue to hurt others.

Hey, so just with some of the discourse floating around this site, I just wanted to remind people of one thing:

It does not matter if you’ve been dating for a week or have been married for twenty years, being in a relationship does not and never will mean that you owe your partner(s) any form of intimacy. You do not owe them sex, you do not owe them xyz type of sex, you do not even owe them cuddling. Being in a relationship does not change the fact that you have bodily autonomy.

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

(About Mouthwashing and SA) don’t read if you still want to try and find out for yourself but there’s hints throughout the story that Jimmy raped Anya and Curly knew but kept it a secret, and that’s why he kept reassuring Jimmy that they’ll get out of it fine after Anya said she didn’t want to be around him (and the previous scene where she wanted to have a gun to defend herself from him, and the one before where she asked curly why their bedrooms don’t have locks, not to mention how Jimmy seemed very bluntly ok with drugging Swansea). I guess you can also see Jim’s cannibalism as a metaphor for SA as others have, but it is very much in the text that those two were worried about the consequences of both Anya’s rape and pregnancy

ohhhh

OH I SEE IT NOW

thank you for clarifying for me!

"You don't understand! If Medusa isn't portrayed as a Rape Victim then people would no longer have a Symbol of Rape/SA Survivors!"

Literally Greek Mythology:

Note: I know that some of them aren’t 100% accurate, but this list is from Wikipedia so yeah...

Rant

TW SA

today was my first performance day for tge musical. It was exhausting. I was doing a bunch of people's makeup before the show. I really enjoyed that. But people kept pushing and shoving me , I didn't like it. Just say excuse me! Everyone kept glaring at me for no reason!

At least I got a million hugs from elementary kids I haven't seen is in a long time, I used to be their 'school mom'. That brought a smile to my face.

But when I got on the bus this dude who I went to middle school with, (who bullied me in middleschoolbut he doesn't bother anymore) was talking to another person who did the same thing via video call. But here is the thong, this guy they were video calling lives with another dude from our old school who violated me in the past. (I blocked him off all social media after that happened, despite friends saying I should forgive him)

This guy on the bus kept putting the phone in my face and they kept making jokes about my body, I just ignored it until the guy on the phone called the guy I blocked into the room.

I immediately changed seats. But I can't stop thinking about the past incident now.

You said you liked me, and I liked you, too.

It was refreshing to move slowly--to not rush into things. To ease into the physical affection and the romance.

Slow was what I needed.

The last person I dated SA'd me on our second date and acted like it was nothing. It was oh so familiar. My body remembers how to freeze like it always does.

You didn't do any of that, and I was so glad.

I know it's selfish to say this, but I wish I had more time with you. I wish that your feelings didn't change so swiftly.

I won't chase after you, though. I respect your decision.

Thank you for being kind to me.

Written in all sorts of POV’s because I’m unorganized and angry. Will edit later, I need to vent.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions and implications of SA, suicidal ideations if you read between the lines, a now ex friend who made fun of my experience

This is a VENT!!!

Innocence died screamin’

Honey ask me, I would know

I screamed. Begged. Pleaded. Eventually I had to punch.

My innocence died at 13 and I still remember waking up in that truckbed with sore knuckles surrounded by vomit.

And I didn’t cope with it in any healthy way. All the way up until the night after my 18th birthday I let people use me and jerk me around with my emotions as a collar.

So forgive me, cunt; if I tell you something with the confidence you won’t treat it like a joke. Forgive me if I’m angry and explosive when you treat these things as if it’s another story to go and tell all of our friends because you think you’re soooo special for not “giving it away” until well after your 20th. Forgive me if that makes me “an easy lay” for being vulnerable around people I once trusted.

“I just feel like it should be special when it finally happens for me, you have expressed you don’t feel one way in particular about virginity.”

I didn’t get a choice, otherwise virginity would be way higher on my list. I don’t get to have the same experience you did. I’m glad and overwhelmingly happy you felt safe, I glad you weren’t gutted and robbed like I was.

When my partner and I met she had only the bullet points of what happened to me. She had an idea that the reason [redacted] and I stopped talking was because something happened.

[redacted] felt like everyone where we worked should know, even after I did my best to cover up what wasn’t even my fault in the first place. To this day I’ve never once tried to bring it up to other coworkers that [redacted] was lying about what really happened. I had to beg with my partner not to knock his teeth out.

She knew before we started dating that my outlook on sex was skewed.

“I think sex can be beautiful with the right person; but I don’t think I could personally see myself being sexually active.”

And she accepted that as my answer. Part of me feels bad, though. I feel like on some level that because of my (albeit valid) fear that I’m preventing some level of intimacy between us. Only time will tell if something ever happens in that regard.

Sometime I look at the photo drive of people I used to be friends with. Sometime I dig through my Polaroids to look at the frozen moments. I don’t have the heart to get rid of them. And I don’t know why.

I hope that one day I can untangle the mess in my mind, get rid of all the photos; and eventually be comfortable in my own skin as myself.

09/13/2024

At around 11:25 pm

It was a nice man and his friend who I decided to help get to a destination since they were stranded. The nice guy was saying how he had been having a terrible day earlier while I was just getting gas. It was mostly all fine, just awkward as they hailed from a different type of town. Probably in a gang of some sort. They asked if I was into weed, but I declined. When I got to the destination I declined payment from the nice man and he got out of the car. His friend said something, probably implying something dirty, but I was too dissociative to fully register it or think about it. He attempted to reach for my chest from the back seat. I stopped him. I should've made him pay more than $5 for every time he attempted to get me to kiss him with his words. He tried to kiss my cheek after giving me the money. He got out of the car. He told me I was pretty.

Nothing truly happened that night but I was nearly groped and was harassed. I don't even know if this could count as SA at all. It made me shakey when I got back home. I needed to get the smell of the men out of the car so I just doused everything in as much perfume as I could handle. The smell burned my nose and stung my lungs. I couldn't be that touchy with my partner, not when the image of his hands reaching from the back seat was still in my head. It's just a really bad memory, though it was two days ago.

I swore to myself the day after that I wouldn't let the ignorant man make the word "pretty" a venomous thing. That I wouldn't let myself entirely break down. I have weapons and not weapons in my car now, and on my body. Two items created by me, and one item originally for cutting paracord. I'm still shaky and weak. I'm still recovering from the bad memory from three days ago, still calming down.

I refuse to let cruelty take my heart, though I'm more weary now of who I should help. Who I should let in my car. Hopefully this world changes for the better soon.

09/13/2024

At around 11:25 pm

It was a nice man and his friend who I decided to help get to a destination since they were stranded. The nice guy was saying how he had been having a terrible day earlier while I was just getting gas. It was mostly all fine, just awkward as they hailed from a different type of town. Probably in a gang of some sort. They asked if I was into weed, but I declined. When I got to the destination I declined payment from the nice man and he got out of the car. His friend said something, probably implying something dirty, but I was too dissociative to fully register it or think about it. He attempted to reach for my chest from the back seat. I stopped him. I should've made him pay more than $5 for every time he attempted to get me to kiss him with his words. He tried to kiss my cheek after giving me the money. He got out of the car. He told me I was pretty.

Nothing truly happened that night but I was nearly groped and was harassed. I don't even know if this could count as SA at all. It made me shakey when I got back home. I needed to get the smell of the men out of the car so I just doused everything in as much perfume as I could handle. The smell burned my nose and stung my lungs. I couldn't be that touchy with my partner, not when the image of his hands reaching from the back seat was still in my head. It's just a really bad memory, though it was two days ago.

I swore to myself the day after that I wouldn't let the ignorant man make the word "pretty" a venomous thing. That I wouldn't let myself entirely break down. I have weapons and not weapons in my car now, and on my body. Two items created by me, and one item originally for cutting paracord. I'm still shaky and weak. I'm still recovering from the bad memory from three days ago, still calming down.

I refuse to let cruelty take my heart, though I'm more weary now of who I should help. Who I should let in my car. Hopefully this world changes for the better soon.

09/13/2024

At around 11:25 pm

It was a nice man and his friend who I decided to help get to a destination since they were stranded. The nice guy was saying how he had been having a terrible day earlier while I was just getting gas. It was mostly all fine, just awkward as they hailed from a different type of town. Probably in a gang of some sort. They asked if I was into weed, but I declined. When I got to the destination I declined payment from the nice man and he got out of the car. His friend said something, probably implying something dirty, but I was too dissociative to fully register it or think about it. He attempted to reach for my chest from the back seat. I stopped him. I should've made him pay more than $5 for every time he attempted to get me to kiss him with his words. He tried to kiss my cheek after giving me the money. He got out of the car. He told me I was pretty.

Nothing truly happened that night but I was nearly groped and was harassed. I don't even know if this could count as SA at all. It made me shakey when I got back home. I needed to get the smell of the men out of the car so I just doused everything in as much perfume as I could handle. The smell burned my nose and stung my lungs. I couldn't be that touchy with my partner, not when the image of his hands reaching from the back seat was still in my head. It's just a really bad memory, though it was two days ago.

I swore to myself the day after that I wouldn't let the ignorant man make the word "pretty" a venomous thing. That I wouldn't let myself entirely break down. I have weapons and not weapons in my car now, and on my body. Two items created by me, and one item originally for cutting paracord. I'm still shaky and weak. I'm still recovering from the bad memory from three days ago, still calming down.

I refuse to let cruelty take my heart, though I'm more weary now of who I should help. Who I should let in my car. Hopefully this world changes for the better soon.

Tw: mention of sa

The cousin that sexually assaulted me between the ages of 6 and 10 is back in the country. I am so scared and I probably have to see him next weekend...

I don't want to see him. I don't think I can. I have to act normal and like nothing ever happend while I get flashbacks of him doing all of it.

I can't stand the nightmares and flashbacks anymore, I just want to forget and be safe.

I don't want to relive him forcing himself onto me. I don't want to feel this helpless and weak again.

I need to get stronger. I need to be able to defend myself...

Tw: sa and rape

No, because why does a fucking language trigger me just because he speaks it. Why?

Why does long blond hair trigger me? Why does the mention of a whole country just because he lives there??

Fuck this. Why does a staircase trigger me? My aunts house? Seeing my little cousins grow up? Cold blue eyes?

Everything that reminds me of him. The way he forced himself onto me. I just want to forget it

I don't want to get flashbacks and nightmares and all that ahit just because of this one man that couldn't keep his hands of a 6 year old.

I'm falling in love with the way it hurts again.

I don't know if I ever am going to get better again.

So much fucked up shit happend to me and I just

CAN'T.

STOP.

REMEMBERING.

I am trying to start living again and it just doesn't work.

The more I learn about this Raph guy, the more horrified I get. That is not okay.

When it comes to rape fantasies.

It'd be one thing if people were like-

Doing it privately, and in private forums.

But people be doing this in PUBLIC!

Which effects the REPRESENTATION of sa victims. Which is TERRIBLE.

It's why Raph 2 doing it was so goddamn bad.

It displayed rape being seen as a "positive" thing in media.

Which HURTS RAPE AND SEXUAL HARASSMENT VICTIMS.

Especially when said person sexually harassed someone irl.

It's awful, and the more we display violent porn (rape), sexual harassment, pedophillia, incest, and beastiality as "positives" in media the worse people will be treated overall.

That's the problem I was talking about.

It's why when I saw Autistic Swag saying "What Raph did was just a kink!" it made me vomit on the inside because THIS SHIT HURTS PEOPLE! Holy fuck why cant people put two and two together?!

Representing something as positive in media= people will do it MORE. It's why people did more anal sex after it was representing anal as a positive/acceptable thing to do.

So to all the proshippers reading this:

STOP FETISHIZING HORRIBLE THINGS.

AND DNI!

my input into the thea discourse in the aftg fandom

tw: rape, SA, abuse, violence

spoilers ahead !!! full disclosure: these are my opinions and no one is obligated to agree w me but if u don't i'm literally begging u pls explain urself properly in replies or just don't engage. it's rlly not that deep i just can't w mfs who just say shit like "ur wrong" without giving it any real thought and acting mature and explaining their opinion. if ur a hardcore thea hater/lover honestly just do the smart thing and don't even read on. thanks pooks !!!

gotta preface this by saying: i am not a thea hater. she's done a lot of things wrong that i'll go into but i don't have a strong hatred or even dislike for her. that being said i'm fully aware that if there's anything that will get the aftg fandom riled up it's thea muldani or the extra content. one of those.

first off, i'm well aware that thea is very much a victim of the nest, as much as jean or kevin. and also we don't even fully know how deeply thea was entrenched in the shit that went down in the nest, all we know is that she probably didn't abuse kevin or jean the way others did, considering how she interacts w them in tsc. one of the main criticisms i see of thea is how she "handled" the whole situation w riko and kevin and finding out all of riko's abuse. ppl didn't like her "no harm no foul" attitude re: kevin's broken hand. i get this, considering it wasn't rlly "no harm no foul" given the lasting trauma left on kevin from the incident, and also how long he spent recovering. that shit leaves a long-term impact on ppl and riko still remains kevin's abuser, and thea was wrong for considering it to be "no harm no foul" bc there was harm done. that being said, i think ppl need to be aware that the nest was very much a cult, as neil so aptly puts it. and tbh i have had very little experiences w these sort of environments but i do know that the nest's mentality likely had a long-term impact on thea asw. no matter how deep the abuse went w the other ravens, they were all still subject to the deep-rooted competition and fear that everyone experiences in the nest. idk the full extent of it, but it's pretty safe to assume that thea (given how good of a player she is) is pretty deep in all the cult mentality. this isn't an easy thing to just grow out of, and a lot of the brainwashing that went on in the nest probably stuck w thea and contributed to her responses to finding out exactly what happened to jean and kevin in the nest.

one of the things i most dislike abt thea is the whole conversation between her and jean in tsc. i appreciate that she cares about jean and sort of took him under her wing, but i feel like what rlly stuck w me abt it all was the whole "tell me you weren't up to your old tricks again" line. obv this pissed a lot of ppl off in the fandom too, so i'm just gonna say my piece briefly; thea referring to the older ravens repeatedly raping jean on riko's orders as jean's "tricks" is fucked up. she probably didn't know that jean wasn't consenting and she didn't know riko ordered it, but she did know that jean was a child at the time and can't legally give consent, and she did know that it wasn't like he fucked his way up to the top cos he's had his number from the beginning. she was an adult at the time, and should've done more to protect jean. still, it's obvious why she didn't, cos again, she was also a victim of the nest, and was definitely not in the best position to help jean. that being said, her line does imply that it was jean's choice/fault for messing around and the wording is just pretty fucked, so i'm not gonna completely absolve her of any responsibility in this convo just cos she was also a victim.

another thing i see when ppl r responding to thea criticism is referring to the criticism as victim blaming. tbf, a good amount of it probably is, but i think there are still a lot of things to criticise about her, and just dismissing it as "blaming the victim" is a disservice to the ppl trying to make a valid point. stating that the way thea responded to finding out abt riko's abuse towards jean and kevin was wrong and careless isn't victim blaming. victim blaming is, as the term suggests, blaming the victim of a situation for the situation they're in. listen. thea is not a victim of riko's abuse, at least not in the same way jean and kevin are. thea was a victim of the nest, yes, but it's pretty clear that what jean and kevin experienced was out of her hands, and not on the same level (esp jean. idk what rlly went down between kevin and riko before the hand breaking incident). at the end of the day, i think the way thea dealt w the issue of riko and his treatment of kevin and jean was thoughtless, and pretty dismissive. but it also bears remembering that there wasn't much for her to do by the time she found out. riko died shortly afterwards, kevin took his place as the best striker on the court and jean was sent to the trojans to heal and recuperate. her response could've been more...sensitive (i don't think that's the right word but we'll go with it) but still, y'all will complain, but what was she supposed to do? nora already stated that she was angry at riko, but riko died soon after and other than her anger, there was nothing else for thea to do in her response.

lastly, another argument levelled at thea is re her relationship w kevin. i actually am not sure abt their age gap (i think kevin was 15 and thea was 18 when they first met???) but i do know that their relationship didn't start properly until kevin was an adult and a player for the ravens. i really don't see the problem with this, considering three years (as far as i know, it is three years) isn't a HUGE gap in maturity and by the time they were together they were both very much consenting adults. as far as we know, thea didn't make any moves on kevin when he was a minor, and (if i'm correct) kevin being 18 and thea being 21 when they first properly started getting together isn't anything problematic. they're in similar stages of life, in a very close environment that's toxic, yes, but that they're both familiar with, and it's clear that the feelings they have for each other aren't the same as the violent, repressed sexual feelings held by some of the other ravens. they do genuinely care about each other on some emotional level, much as the fandom may want to deny it, and i don't really think there was anything wrong with their relationship re: consent and the age gap.

anyway, that's really all i have to say except that i do think thea is a complicated and honestly pretty realistic character, given the horrific circumstances she experienced in the nest. i think the fandom is well within their rights to criticise her actions but it bears remembering that she is just a human being and is never going to be perfect, and i think the way she acts is very real and true to her personality and circumstances and she makes a lot of mistakes, but that's just the human condition. it's also insane how much hate thea receives when she's honestly pretty on par with most of the other aftg characters on the moral "scale", if that even exists here. it's pretty baffling how much hate thea receives when she doesn't act all that differently to andrew, neil and kevin. it erases a lot of her complexity and does a disservice to her character (which, if you think about it, we don't know all that much about) to just label her as a purely "good" or "bad" character. aftg is not meant to be portraying conventionally "good" people, and i just think all the thea discourse is really interesting to put under a microscope and dissect.

thanks for reading and i will say it again: if u don't agree with me, that's fine, feel free to explain ur opinions and ur side of things. if ur just gonna be bitching and moaning abt how wrong i am or how much u hate/love thea, take it elsewhere. just don't engage. how easy is that??? just keep scrolling.

Yea, let me just... *goes to his bedroom to cry*

Aftermath (odypen fanfic)

TW: mentioned SA and (according to my friend) slightly (and I mean SLIGHTLY) suggestive

[I was pretty proud of this one so I wanted to share :D]

[credit to @dootznbootz for the Water Wife™ headcanon]

The palace halls were deserted this time of night. The two lovers had taken an evening stroll — more like midnight stroll — and were still drenched from the creek. It wasn’t her fault, she insisted — Odysseus started it. Had he never smugly commented about his “godlike looks,” Penelope might have not used her naiad powers and they both would probably still be dry. But no.

That lovable little bighead, she thought to herself, smiling.

“What is it?” he asked from beside her. She snapped out of her thoughts and glanced at him — then, seeing his cocky grin, looked back down. Her cheeks felt hot.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about how embarrassed you looked after the creek incident.”

“Did not!”

“Did too.”

“Did not!”

“Quit arguing like a child,” she chuckled.

He pretended to pout, softening his expression like a little pup as he always did to persuade her.

“Don’t make that face at me.”

His grin returned, wider this time. “Why not? Too gorgeous for you?”

She stopped walking and playfully shoved his shoulder into the nearest pillar. Before she could say anything else, he grabbed her arm and pulled her close. For a second, they stayed there, looking into each other’s eyes, barely able to breathe.

She eyed his lips. He eyed hers. She inched her face closer, almost closing the gap between them —

“Wait.”

Confused, she pulled back. “What?”

Odysseus was trembling. His breathing was shallow and uneven, his skin pale. “I just … I can’t.”

“Why not?” Penelope’s brows furrowed. “Odysseus, what’s wrong?”

He didn’t respond. His chest was heaving, his eyes flicking wildly from one spot to another — looking at everything but her. And he wouldn’t stop shaking.

“Odysseus. Ody, look at me.”

He did, but his eyes were wild.

“You can tell me if something’s bothering you. Did I do something? Say something?”

“No — no, I …” He trailed off, shaking his head.

“It’s okay, Ody. You can tell me.”

“Ca — ” his breath hitched. “Calypso,” he breathed, barely audible.

“What — ” Suddenly, Penelope understood. She’d heard that word before. Calypso wasn’t a what.

She was a who.

“Another woman?” Penelope took a step back. “Is that what this is about?”

No response. Just more ragged breathing.

“Answer me, Odysseus,” she spat angrily. “Who is this woman you slept with? Why did you choose her over me?”

His eyes widened more, suddenly flicking up to meet hers. “No! No, it’s not like that. She — ”

“What’s going on, Odysseus? What else haven’t you told me? What else are you hiding?”

“Penelope, listen — ” He paused, choking a little as tears formed in his eyes. “I tried to stop her but she — ” Suddenly, he dissolved in tears. “I’m so sorry.”

Oh.

Penelope’s heart dropped. He didn’t choose Calypso over her — no, the reality was much worse.

She stepped closer again. “Ody, it’s okay — ”

“No. No, it’s not. I’m sorry.”

Reaching out to touch his face, she repeated, “It’s okay — ”

But he jumped away from her hand like it was the point of a sword.

“Don’t touch me.”

She froze, realizing why he said that. “I’m sorry, Ody — ”

His expression softened. “No. I’m sorry. I — ” his voice caught in his throat as his eyes widened again.

“I have to go,” he said, slowly backing away.

“Odysseus — ”

“I’m so sorry.”

And he turned and sprinted away.

•••

“Odysseus? Ody, where are you? Odysseus!”

Penelope ran through the halls, almost tripping and cursing at her dress for being so long. She called her husband’s name over and over again, worry blossoming in her heart like a poisonous flower.

She checked the gardens. Nothing.

She checked the main hall. Nobody in sight.

She checked the courtyard. Completely empty.

Where was he?

Realization struck her — there was only one place left.

Panting, she knocked on the bedroom door. “Ody? Ody, it’s me, are you in there?”

No response. She was about to knock again but then —

Sniffle.

Her heart felt like it had been ripped into pieces. Just that one sound made her knees feel week. Odysseus was crying — because of her. Because she decided to do the one thing that made him uncomfortable — touch him.

Although, she thought, Odysseus had never acted like this before. If anything, they both loved curling up on that wedding bed of theirs and losing themselves in love. It made them feel … intertwined. Not just their limbs. But their hearts. Their souls. Like two olive bushes — one tame, one wild — growing from the same stem with their branches wound together so tightly that nothing, not even the wind or rain, could pass through.

Now, it felt as if someone was hacking at the wild branch with an axe, trying to cut him off from his stem and pry him away against his will. That someone was Calypso.

Or maybe — Penelope dreadfully thought — it was herself.

Either way, she could not let him feel like that any longer. She opened the door, stepping inside.

“Ody?”

Another sniffle.

She gently closed the door, then followed the sound to behind the bed. Curled up in a corner was the king of Ithaca — shaking, sobbing, choking on his breath with his head against the wall and knees tucked into his chest.

“Odysseus.”

A pained groan escaped his throat as he winced. His eyes were shut tight, his skin dripping with sweat and tears.

Her gut twisted. What was happening to him? “Odysseus. Ody, wake up. Please.”

“Enough, goddess,” he croaked quietly. “Please.”

“What — Odysseus, it’s me —”

“No!” His body twitched as if someone had sent a bolt of lightning through him. His brows furrowed in pain. “You’ve — you’ve hurt me enough. No more — no more games. Please, I beg of you.”

“Odysseus! Please! Wake up!” she cried, crouching down and desperately taking his face in her hands. She could feel tears forming in her eyes, clouding her vision. What must he have gone through to get this upset?

His eyes still squeezed shut, he jumped away from her touch. “Get away from me!” he yelled. “Please — leave me alone. Let me — let me have one peaceful night. One. Please —”

“ODYSSEUS, IT’S ME! It’s Penelope! You’re home, remember? You’re safe. Please, come back to me.” She choked, the tears flowing freely down her face now.

His eyes flew open as he jolted awake. At the sight of her, his breath hitched. “Penelope,” he whispered. “It’s you.”

She nodded, smiling through her tears. “Yes, my love. It’s me. You’re home.”

For a second, he was silent, taking in everything about her — her face, her electric blue eyes, now overflowing with tears. She held his gaze, watching him realize that this was Penelope — his loving wife. She’d never hurt him. Never.

Suddenly, he threw his arms around her, dissolving in tears again. She hugged him back, her fingers combing his sweat-soaked hair as sobs racked his body. She fought the urge to cry with him, knowing that she had to be strong for the both of them if she wanted to help him.

“It’s okay,” she whispered into his ear over and over again until he had somewhat calmed down. “You’re okay.”

He waited until the tears stopped flowing, then let go and met her gaze again. “I’m sorry.”

“No.”

“I’m sorry, Penelope.”

“No, I’m sorry. I made you uncomfortable. I won’t touch you anymore —”

“No!” he exclaimed. “No, please do.” His eyes glinted with longing. “Twenty years I have been starved of your touch. I can’t hold back any longer. I just — it’ll take some time for — for me to get used to it.”

“Take your time, my love. I’ll be right here by your side.”

He nodded, biting his lip as his eyes moistened again. Burying his face into her shoulder, he sat with her in silence.

After a moment, Penelope spoke. “If you ever want to talk about it —”

He shuddered.

“You don’t have to,” she stammered. “Talk about it, I mean. I know it’s hard. I know you’re hurt. But if you do —”

“No, I do. Just — give me a second.”

“Take your time,” she repeated.

A few seconds passed as he steadied his emotions. Separating himself from the embrace, he took a deep breath. He couldn’t meet her eyes.

“It wasn’t just Calypso. Before that … Circe.”

Oh, gods. Penelope felt dizzy.

“But at least I got something out of that. Hermes told me that for her to release my men, I — I had to allow myself into her bed. So I did, reluctantly.” His voice cracked. “It worked. She released my men and sent us on our way to the Underworld. I thought that would be the last of it.”

Penelope started to take his hand in hers, then stopped herself. But Odysseus looked down, then took her hand instead. She smiled at him comfortingly.

“Calypso was a different story.” He swallowed. “After my ship was struck down by Zeus, I washed up on an island. She greeted me, appearing kind at first. She gave me shelter, food, clothing, and company. One day, I told her that I must be on my way. But she —” He hesitated. “She had different plans. ‘I gave you everything I could. It’s time you repay me.’ I agreed. ‘Anything, goddess.’” He paused. “I wish I had known what she had meant.” His voice cracked again as he finally met Penelope’s eyes. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

She shook her head.

“I'm just a man, Penelope. A mortal. I was no match against this goddess. I’m so sorry. Every night, no matter how hard I resisted, she’d — she'd force me into her bed; every night after … her, I’d lie awake thinking of you — of how I betrayed you, even when you were waiting for me for all these years —” He choked, letting out another sob.

She wrapped her arms around him again as he whispered, “I’m sorry.”

“No, don’t be.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t, Ody.”

Silence fell again between the two as he composed himself. Penelope spoke again — “This happened … every night?” she whispered.

He slowly nodded into her shoulder.

“For how long?”

No response.

“Ody —”

“Eight years.”

Gods.

Now tears fell from her eyes too as his fingers dug into her back, desperately grasping for her affection. The realization that this — being forced to betray his beloved; not the monsters, the gods, or anything else he faced — was the worst he could have ever suffered.

For eight years. Penelope felt sick.

“I’m so sorry,” he kept saying, but she only shook her head.

Her heart shattered. None of this was his fault; why was he apologizing? And this was nothing like the Odysseus she knew. Odysseus was a hero — strong, brave, and cunning. No, this was … broken. A man who had been through far more than he let on; far more than he deserved.

Even heroes need to be consoled sometimes, she figured.

They sat like that for a while, taking comfort in each other. When they finally parted, they both felt different — healed.

All that was in the past now. They had each other now, as they always would. They were safe. They were home.

They were together. And that’s what mattered.

“Penelope?” Odysseus asked.

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

She only smiled.

That night, the two of them fell asleep in each other’s arms — the two olive bushes, intertwined again at last.

Never to be separated again.

I want to remember (but I can’t )

Angst, lots of it.

Fandom: Power Rangers Dino Super Charge

Main Character(s): Kendall Morgan, Chase Randall is there at the end

Trigger Warning: Implied Abuse, Implied Sexual abuse, PTSD responses

Warnings: The Author (Hi👋)

Written by: Kaiurio

Only available on tumblr because AO3 is being a pain.

I am advising you if you feel uncomfortable please click off or don’t press read more.

“May you have grown.” The man said as he eyed the woman up and down as if examining her from down to her feet to the tip of her hair.

He knew she wanted to scream and run to the corner of the room like she used to do, feeling as if the corner would protect her even though she knew it wouldn’t. The corner was just a place where the man would get his way.

Kendall couldn’t do nothing but stare at him, she was completely still in her movements not wanting to trigger anything inside the man, that could trigger the response that she was well aware of.

She kept her head down, as if she was trying to hide, just like how she used to.

The man grabbed the little girls chin as he forced her to look at him, forcing her to meet his gaze. “Look at me.!”

“Your still beautiful you know?” He said with a smirk in his face that Kendall wished would just go away.

She felt her own chest go up and down more heavily, she managed to keep her normally calm demeanor. But in reality she wanted to run, and keep on running.

The man walked up to her, he reached his hand to lift a thick strand of her hair in between his fingers which he played with.

He yanked the girls hair, which caused her to scream even louder, she begged and begged for him to let go and stop. But this meant nothing to him.

“Your father said we have important business things to attend to about the museum.” He whispered to her, before he let her hair strands fall out of his hand. He took a step back clapping his hands behind his back.

Kendall just wanted this to be done and over with.

She wanted to go back to the base.

Run into Chase or Koda, any of the rangers and just be held in their arms.

She wanted to be with them, home.

But she couldn’t move!

Why wasn’t she moving?!

“Now we must continue on with our meeting. Shall we?”

Her mother furiously scrubbed every part of her daughter’s hair with shampoo, she was scrubbing so hard she was forming scratches on the little girls scalp. She was also muttering things that the girl couldn’t make out. But she knew it wasn’t good.

The mother looked at the bruises that marked this child’s body, the ones that always had control of her body. That ruined her beautiful body in every way possible.

The mother cursed as she continued to wash away the dirt off of her child. Erasing the memories that would disappear with time.

Who even was he? And why was she so afraid of him?

-|•|-

“Miss Morgan, what’s wrong?” Kendall snapped her head up to see that Chase had came into the base right next to her. She was so occupied with her mind she didn’t even hear.

She couldn’t even reply to him, so she just remained quiet.

Why wasn’t she talking? It was simple to talk god damn it!

But she couldn’t, no matter how much she tried.

Kendall didn’t even notice the other five rangers had walked to the base as well next to Chase, clearly noticing Kendall’s discomfort.

“What happened?” Shelby said with a voice full of worry for her boss, they had never saw Kendall Ike this, she was always the type to speak or reply to them whatever they said or asked her.

When Kendall finally had the voice to talk, she could only say one thing.

“Nothing.”