mads, 23 y/o
151 posts
Taegeum - Bangtan Brainrot - Tumblr Blog
girl dinner 🍽️🤤
oh i’m gonna be sick
jungkook being goofy 🥹😆
jimin and taehyung are only two months apart but jimin sounds like hes 12 and taehyung sounds like he’s gone through puberty twice and this is why i have trust issues
♡( ◡‿◡ ) cr. namuspromised.
HELLO!
I saw you reblog my post about the disaster twins (aka leo and donnie from rise of the tmnt) being the turtle equivalent of vmin and i'm glad i'm not the only one who sees it as well
hiiii!!
i’m very glad tumblr recommended your post to me bc i’ve never seen anyone compare them before and my brain just went OMG?? so you are definitely not alone 👀
the disaster twins are just vmin but as turtles
leo is jimin and donnie is taehyung
novocaine pt. 4 || (M)
↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES
Going home was hard – painful even. But falling back in love with Jimin, the boy you left behind? Downright gut-wrenching.
pairing: punk!jimin x reader
word count: 8.7k
genre: 1990s au, exes au, angst, smut
warnings: 90s slang, alcohol, fighting, car sex, oc has dead parents, bittersweet ending
A/N: PLS MAKE SURE REREAD 1-3, I KNOW ITS BEEN A FAT MINUTE BUT PLEASE CONSIDER ALL CHAPTERS WHEN READING THIS ENDING
01 | 02 | 03 | 04
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PART FOUR (FINAL)
“You’re gonna break my damn neck!” Jimin complained, eyes shutting as you moved his head closer to the shower’s stream.
“Shh,” You giggled, fingers gingerly rinsing your boyfriend’s head.
Jimin was fully clothed, head thrown over the tub’s edge, insisting that he remain dry as you washed the orange dye from his hair.
Just the other day you had MTV playing in the background as Grams and you were making cookies when the video for The Flaming Lips’ She Don’t Use Jelly came on. You hadn’t heard the song in ages; Hoseok used to belt the nonsensical lyrics religiously on early morning bus rides to high school. But more importantly, you had never seen the music video and became consumed by the lead singer’s tangerine-colored hair.
It quickly became a topic of conversation between you and Jimin, nudging a shoulder into his side anytime you’d pass by an orange car or a shelf of hair dye. A week of your less-than-subtle teasing had gone by when he finally begrudgingly agreed to dye his hair orange. You were beyond excited, even if he had only agreed to get you to finally shut up.
So here the two of you were, kneeled on the tile floor of your bathroom, random splotches of bleach and dye on your shirts, the sound of The Smashing Pumpkin’s latest CD coming from your room.
“You should be grateful you have a girlfriend that’s willing to dye your hair for free.”
“Is that what you’re doing? I thought you were trying to drown me.”
“Alright, you big baby,” You rolled your eyes, reaching over him to turn off the shower head. “I’m done.”
“Pass me a towel, please?”
His eyes were scrunched shut, hand flailing about for the towel rack aimlessly. Chuckling, you passed the wet-haired boy a towel, sitting back on your heels as you watched him pat his face dry.
“Here, let me get your hair.” You offered, grabbing the towel back from his face and onto his head, careful to be gentle as you had bleached it earlier today.
Jimin sat obediently, quietly admiring the way you took your time and cleaned the dye-stained skin around his hairline. He loved having your attention; you were always so gentle with him. His chest tightened as you hummed along to the song in the background, oblivious to the splashes of orange dye that had found your cheek.
“Oh my god. It’s hella orange.” You giggled.
Jimin pulled you onto his lap, partly to help you work more comfortably, mainly because he liked having you close.
“Does it look bad?” His warm eyes peered into yours, sounding somewhat unsure.
Brows furrowing, you paused to press a kiss on Jimin’s pouting mouth. As if there were any universe in which Jimin looked bad. Seeing as his frown ceased to let up, you kissed him once more, “You look great, Minnie. My little pumpkin.”
“Real convincing.” He glared. Stealing one more kiss from you, he helped you off him and back up off the bathroom floor.
You watched intently as he moved towards the bathroom mirror. You weren’t anticipating him to hate it, but should the situation present itself, you had made a point to buy an emergency bottle of black hair dye, ready to remedy the situation at a moment’s notice.
Jimin said nothing at first, merely tilting his head from side to side as he ran his hands threw his newly orange, somewhat damp hair. A smile broke across his handsome face.
“It’s actually pretty sick.” He grinned, clearly pleased with the final result. You let out a breath of relief.
“I told you! Admit it, I was right, you look fucking hot. No one ever trusts my artistic vision.” You sighed dramatically, earning you a chuckle.
“Alright, Picasso. Remind me again the plan for tonight?” He rolled his eyes, reaching for the hairbrush he had laid out on the sink counter earlier.
“Well,” You watched as he sorted through his hair, “Hobi left a message saying he scored all of us tickets tonight for the drive-in theater but failed to mention what time or what movie it was.”
Jimin chuckled, “Typical. And you tried calling Hobi’s line?”
“No one picks up. I went and knocked on his door before you came over. The Jungs are out of town so he’s probably kicking it at Gwen’s.” You shrugged.
While you could in theory go and look up Gwen’s landline in the phone book, it seemed like a tremendous amount of work just to locate someone who quite literally lived right next door. He’d show up eventually. He always did.
You sighed, “Man, I can’t believe that old drive-in is still kicking. I thought for sure it went under in the time I left town.”
Jimin nodded, “Nah, it’s still around. But the only people using it are the old folks who were around when it was first built. They’re still playing the same ten shitty movies on repeat.”
“Let’s just get ready and go hunt him down in an hour, yeah?”
And so the two of you spent the next hour readying yourself, Jimin styling his new hair and you waging war against the blue eyeliner Gwen had somehow convinced you to purchase.
It was just around the one-hour mark that you received a call from the very person you had been hoping to find.
“Yo, kid! Come on out, I got two tickets with your name on them!”
Jimin and you ran out onto your grandmother’s driveway eagerly, laughing as Hobi slammed on his car horn melodically, a bright smile written across his face.
“Great timing, we were just about to go break down your door.” You smiled, grabbing the two bright yellow admission tickets that Hoseok had dangling out his car window. “Thanks, Hobi.”
“Where’ve you been, man?” Jimin questioned his best friend.
“Why? You keeping tabs on me, Carrot Top?” Hoseok giggled, eyeing your boyfriend’s new hair.
“Funny.”
“I’m playin’, it looks fresh, dude. I dig.” Hoseok assured, holding his hands up as if to show he meant no harm.
You rolled your eyes, “Lemme guess, you were at Gwen’s.”
“You kidding? Her place? Her dad’s sheriff— hell no!” Hobi shook his head before a greasy grin took hold of him. “Besides, I’ve got the open crib, a pretty girlfriend, and stamina like a racehorse.”
Jimin’s giggle was instantaneous, immediately clueing you in on what exactly Hobi was implying.
“You pig. I rang you and knocked on your door!” You scrunched your nose at him.
“Like a racehorse, kid,” Hobi emphasized, only furthering your frown.
“Jeez, okay, got it… TMI.”
“So we ready to watch Jurassic Park or what?” Hoseok first pumped the air.
Jimin’s eyes went wide, “They’re playing Jurassic Park tonight?! Sweet!”
You too were shocked. The film had come out only a few years ago.
“How the hell did that lame-ass drive-in get the license for a film that recent?”
“Got the old lady to pull some strings.” Hobi flashed you both a smug look, reaching over to pop his collar out theatrically.
“So your mom gave you the tickets? Councilwoman Jung sure has pull in this town.”
You were thoroughly impressed. Hoseok struck out in the parents department. Not only did they tolerate his tomfoolery throughout his teen years, but as his mother was on the city council, they were often occupied with work, giving Hobi free reign to do as he pleased as long as he remained out of jail.
His mother’s words, not yours.
“Oh Nah, I got the tickets myself.” Hobi corrected.
You squinted at him, suspicious, “…Should I even ask how you got these tickets?”
“Depends,” His voice lowered suddenly, eyes flickering from side to side, “are you gonna snitch?”
“No?”
“I broke into the ticket booth last night and just grabbed a bunch of tickets from the drawer.” He shrugged.
Your jaw fell, “Hobi!”
“Dude!” Jimin burst out laughing.
“What?!” Hoseok’s eyes went wide, as if entirely innocent of any crime. “Why are we wigging out? It’s not like I stole money from the register! Besides, is it my fault that so many places here are easy to break and enter?”
“Tell that to Gwen’s dad when he finally locks your ass up.” Jimin teased. Your childhood friend tutted, shifting his car into reverse.
“Whatever. You still took the tickets, ungrateful bastards. Your hands aren’t clean either. The movie is in twenty minutes. I dropped Gwen off at hers so she could go get changed so I gotta bounce and pick her back up. You guys need a ride?”
“Nah, we’ll take my car,” Jimin assured him.
Hoseok began to pull out the driveway, window still rolled down. “Meet up at mine after for drinks?”
“Sure. Thanks, Hobi!”
“See ya later, man!”
The three friends waved goodbye to one another as the eldest pulled out onto the street and drove off.
“Do you really think he and Gwen were busy fucking all this time?” Jimin pondered the second Hoseok was out of earshot, making you scowl.
“I think that Hobi is like a brother to me and if I think about it too much I’ll actually barf.”
Jimin chuckled, throwing an arm over your shoulder as the two of you made your way to his car.
———
“A medium popcorn, one Junior Mints, and Buncha Crunch please.” You smiled at the concession’s attendee.
You were about 20 minutes into Jurassic Park and could make out the sound of the film as you ordered Jimin and yourself some snacks. He had offered to go make the snack run himself, of course, but seeing as it was his favorite movie playing, you decided that the sacrifice would be yours to make.
Handing over the necessary cash, you moved to the side, watching patiently as the attendant assembled your order. Just then, someone else approached the concession counter. You glanced over at the person not particularly interested, before realizing at once just who the next patron was.
“Yoongi?” You called out before you could stop yourself.
A head of faded mint hair turned towards you, his dark eyes meeting yours, and took on an expression that you could only guess mirrored your own. The kind of expression that can only be shared between two people who had their tongues down each other’s throats not too long ago.
A pregnant pause fell between you.
“Y/N. Hey.” He breathed after a beat.
Chewing on the inside of your lip, you contemplated your next words, wondering what exactly to say to your boyfriend’s ex. You know… the one you had tried to have sex with.
Thankfully, the arrival of your popcorn and other snacks made it so you didn’t have to respond, a flustered ‘thank you’ escaping your lips as you grabbed your order.
“Uh, two medium sprites,” Yoongi told the attendant once she moved to take his order. You tried your best to look occupied, not wanting to look like you were waiting on the mint-haired boy even though you most definitely were.
Within a minute, he moved towards you, drinks in either hand and a sheepish smile on his face.
“So, uh… this is awkward.” He admitted honestly, joining you as began to walk away from the concession stand, deciding the spare the innocent concession girl from the unfortunate conversation that was about to unfold.
“Super awkward.” You affirmed with a nervous chuckle, hands gripping around your bucket of popcorn.
He nodded.
“Hey, so,” He came to a stop suddenly, halting your stride. “I’m sorry if I caused problems for you the other night. I wouldn’t have… I mean, I didn’t know that you were… We were also both probably way too drunk–”
“No, no, honestly, don’t sweat it!” You were quick to cut him off, not wanting him to assume that he had done anything to make you uncomfortable that night. “I didn’t know who you were either. You seemed cool and hot and, you know… I wanted to. So… yeah. ”
Wow. This just nearly beat the moment Jimin walked in on you two in the scale of awkwardness. At least you weren’t sober then.
Yoongi nodded once more, “Cool. I also wanted to. But, um… listen, you’re a cool chick and all but you should know there’s someone else. Plus, there’s the whole you being my ex’s ex thing…”
Oh god. Was Yoongi… rejecting you? Fuck, he totally thought you were still coming onto him. How utterly humiliating.
“Yeah, no, gotcha. That can literally never happen again. It’s all good.” You laughed, purely because of how ridiculous this entire conversation was. He grinned back at you, remembering exactly why he liked you in the first place that night at Guyi’s.
“No hard feelings?” He offered you a crooked smile.
“Deal.” You mused, eyes falling on the two drinks in his hand. “So are you here alone?”
You watched in interest as Yoongi suddenly turned a shade of pink.
“No, actually… I’m here with a coworker.” He told you, a certain bashfulness to his tone.
“Oh, a coworker.” A knowing smirk grew.
“I’m kind of seeing him, I guess. I don’t know, it’s too soon for labels.” He shrugged.
“So you’re seeing your coworker. Scandalous.” You teased.
“Again, sorry. If you were literally anyone but Jimin’s ex-girlfriend–“
“Oh, shut up.” You rolled your eyes at his joke, making him laugh.
The sound of various screams rolled over the area, catching both of your attentions, undoubtedly belonging to the moviegoers in response to a scary scene that must’ve just played out.
“I’m not really into dinosaurs,” Yoongi admitted lightheartedly to which you giggled, agreeing.
“Where do you work by the way?” You made casual conversation. “I just realized I never asked.”
“I work at a daycare.” He told you, making your smile drop.
Right. The daycare.
You supposed that was the thing about ghosts. They tended to haunt you.
Your chest felt hollow once more as he took a sip from one of the drinks. “Not huge on snot and boogers but the pay is decent so who cares, right?”
“Whatever happened between you and Jimin? I mean, why did you guys break up?” You said suddenly.
It had just made its way out like word vomit, desperate to change the conversation. The last thing you wanted was for him to ask if you were at all familiar with the property.
Yoongi looked at you in surprise for a split second before shaking his head.
“Jeez, how ironic.” He said, mostly to himself.
“Huh?”
“No, nothing I just… it’s funny you asked me that. Because it was you. You were the reason we broke up.” He confessed, bringing the straw of his drink back up to his mouth.
Weirdly, a feeling of guilt washed over you at his words. It rendered you silent.
“At the time it pissed me the hell off. He was dumping me for an ex-girlfriend he hadn’t seen in what? Four years? Took a hit to my ego for sure.”
All you could do was stand there looking dumb. You hadn’t the slightest idea how to react to what he was saying. Part of you was… delighted? Happy that Jimin wasn’t as dedicated to that relationship as you feared he might’ve been. But another part, a much more prominent part, felt awful. Terrible that you had hurt Jimin so deeply that he couldn’t even commit himself to another person. That he couldn’t move on.
“But anyway, it was for the best. Weirdly he did me a favor. No point in being hung up on a guy who was still hung up on the past.” Yoongi paused suddenly, scrunching his nose as he shook out his mint locks. “Dammit, I sound like such a cliche bitter ex, huh?”
“At least you’re not the shitty ex who broke his heart.” You offered half-heartedly.
Yoongi stared at you for a moment, allowing himself to freely admire the girl who had captured Jimin’s heart all those years ago. Despite your otherwise neutral expression, there was a gloom around you that he couldn’t quite ignore.
He pressed his lips together, wondering if he could offer you any solace.
“If it makes you feel any better, there’s no guarantee it would’ve worked out even if you had stayed.”
Your head tilted in confusion. Yoongi stole a piece of popcorn cheekily, popping a piece into your mouth.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, you told me yourself that night. You’re a city girl. You would’ve wanted to go see the world eventually and everyone knows Jimin has no plans to ever leave this tiny ass town. Maybe you just got the inevitable over with. So don’t beat yourself up over it.”
You were suddenly acutely aware that Yoongi had no idea that you and Jimin were back together. A wave of nausea rolled over you as you considered his words.
He was right, of course. You had always dreamed of making it out of here. Even when you were young and running down the halls of your grandmother’s house, your adventures took you far away, towards weather unlike your own, towards faces and cities you’d never recognize.
So what was it that you were doing now? Getting closure by opening up a chapter with Jimin you had closed years ago?
Jimin was the boy who had his kids' names picked out when he was in elementary school. He was the boy whose biggest dream was remodeling his parents' home so that it would one day fit his own family, the family that he wanted to start here. He was the boy who looked for you months after you went missing, and who ended a relationship because he was unable to let go of the past. He put his life on hold for you. And who was to say he wouldn’t do it again when you left?
Your feet felt heavy as if you were sinking into the dirt of the drive-in lot, crushing guilt piling onto you.
“Hey.” A voice called out, making both Yoongi and you turn to face whoever was trying to grab your attention.
It was Jimin. Of course, it was. You had gotten caught up in conversation, taking far too long to get snacks. It was only a matter of time that Jimin would head over to check in on you. His hands were tucked away in his jeans, expression unreadable as he eyed the two of you from where he stood.
“Oh. Hey.” Yoongi replied, eyebrows pulling up in surprise. His surprise was quickly replaced with confusion as Jimin walked over, pressing a kiss to your cheek as he took the snacks from you, always the gentleman.
“Sorry, I took so long. We bumped into each other and lost track of the time.” You explained awkwardly to your boyfriend through warm cheeks.
“I see that.”
You could see the way Jimin’s jaw was tense as if swallowing back words that weren’t exactly pleasant. You almost see the puzzle piece coming together in Yoongi’s mind as he looked at the two of you interact.
“Well… it was nice seeing you again. Good luck with everything.” You waved Yoongi goodbye, already heading back where Jimin had set up the car, eager to walk far from the second most awkward situation the three of you had found yourselves.
“You too.” You heard Yoongi called back, a note of disbelief in his tone, one that you forced yourself not to dissect further.
———————
You did your best to keep your eyes on the screen ahead of you, but the tension in the car was palpable. Jimin was taking those sharp short breaths through his nose like he always did when he was angry. You licked your dry lips.
“You’re upset.” You broke the ice.
“No, I’m not.”
You tilted your head against the car seat’s headrest, facing your troubled lover.
“Yes, you are.” Your tone took a soft timbre. “You’re doing that angry sulky thing you do.”
“I don’t sulk,” Jimin said, bottom lip jutting out ever so slightly.
“Minnie, you sulk.” You chuckled but failed to receive a chuckle back in return from him.
You straightened up in your seat.
“Nothing is going on between Yoongi and I.”
“I know.” He said.
Your brows furrowed at his words, “Okay. Then is it something else?”
Jimin said nothing, eyes pressed against the movie screen but clearly not paying attention to the film at all. You sighed.
“Can you roll your window up?” You asked. Your boyfriend met your eyes curiously, seeing that you had done so on your side before complying and rolling his up.
The second his window was up, you were unbuckling your seat belt and maneuvering yourself across the car and onto his lap.
Pressing kisses onto his neck, you felt as he noticeably relaxed, a soft sigh falling from his pillowy lips.
“Talk to me.” Your mouth traveled onto his jaw, kisses sweet and reassuring.
“I love you.” Was his breathy response, hands gripping to sides of your thighs, pulling you closer to him.
He couldn’t say how insecure seeing Yoongi made him feel. He didn't know how to say that if you left him once, what was to stop you from leaving him again? If he wasn’t good enough to make you stay all those years ago, what would be different this time?
“I love you too, Minnie.”
His hand found the side of your cheek, drawing your mouth into his, kissing you with intention.
You pulled back suddenly, “Wait, this isn’t talking.”
“Don’t wanna talk. Just wanna touch you.” His voice was lower than usual.
Your face flushed at his honesty, unsure of whether to press further. Ultimately you gave in.
“Okay.”
Your fingers curled into his t-shirt, tongue finding his, heavy breaths filling the small space of the car as you lost yourselves in each other.
Breaking the kiss with a groan, you pulled up at your shirt. You nearly laughed at the way Jimin had already begun to tug at your bra clasp before you had even successfully removed the garment from you.
The lacy bra fell down your body, tossed aside mindlessly as he pressed a kiss onto your chest, hand working your soft flesh. You let out a breath as he sucked the supple flesh into his mouth, thumb rolling over your pert buds.
“Wait, drop your seat back, I don’t want someone from another car seeing.”
Jimin nodded, leaving your chest to comply with your request. Immediately though, his hand found the back of your neck, pulling you towards him and into a kiss.
Making out in Jimin’s car was admittedly nostalgic — the two of you having spent many afternoons fooling around whenever you got the chance. And maybe that's what the two of you were going for, slipping back into each other in a way that came naturally.
You rolled your hips into his desperately, every inch of you buzzing at the way you could feel the way he had hardened underneath you.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He muttered as his thumb lolled over your sensitive nipple. You whimpered.
The sound took him back to the night of the bonfire when he had buried his head between your angelic thighs that night of the bonfire, your greedy fingers tugging at his scalp as you cried against the feeling of his tongue.
Fuck, he was hard.
His hand reached down to undo his jeans in desperation, the pressure of his strained cock in his thigh jeans too much to bare. His actions caught your attention, your teeth finding your bottom lip as you watched the anguished boy reach into his underwear and readjust himself.
Suddenly, his mouth was on yours again, hand angling one of your thighs so that he could grind his hips against it.
You were getting far more worked up than you anticipated, his hot mouth leaving marks across your exposed skin. You needed more of him.
“Do you wanna fuck me?” You asked innocently, hand pressed against his abdomen.
“Fuck yes.”
“Hm...”
Your hand dipped into his underwear, eyes glimmering in mischief as you pulled his cock out, wasting no time in working the shaft.
“Fuuuuuck.” Jimin’s voice was drawn out and pleading, chest rising and falling in rhythm to the pace your hand had set around his cock.
“Does it feel good, Minnie?” You cooed teasingly, sucking a bruise into his pretty neck.
You preened as his hips suddenly jerked up, a whine pushing past his swollen lips before he cleared his throat.
“You’re gonna fucking kill me. Sit on my cock already.” He begged.
You smiled into his skin, head moving back up to kiss him as you ran your thumb over his red tip, swallowing his moan.
“You feel so good in my hand though.”
You weren’t lying. Hot, engorged, and pulsing under your fingers, his cock was truly a fine piece of craftsmanship. If it weren’t for the cramped location that was the front seat of his car, you would’ve had your lips wrapped around him, using your tongue to remind yourself of every vein and ridge.
“I promise I’ll feel even better inside you.” He groaned.
“What’s the rush? I don’t remember you ever turning down a handjob.”
“And I don’t remember you being such a fucking tease. Clearly, things change.” He tutted.
You frowned at his tone but allowed one of Jimin’s hands to push its way between your legs and down your underwear.
You stifled a noise as he ran his fingers up and down your slit.
“Oh, love bug, you’re so wet. That for me?”
You fought back a blush, somehow still flustered at the way Jimin’s dirty talk after all these years.
“You got yourself this worked up over touching me, yeah? Fuck.”
A shutter ran through your body, pleasure running over you as he toyed with your clit. Your hand fell from his member altogether, finding leverage against his thigh as you pushed yourself closer to his feathery touches.
Your hips moved on their own accord, mouth opening as a silent moan tumbled out.
“Bet that feels so good, huh? So cute.” He praised, pinching one of your cheeks.
“Now whose teasing?” You pouted.
A whimper escaped you against your better judgment as his fingers suddenly made their way down, spreading you open as he lightly pressed against your entrance.
“Acting so tough but losing the act as soon as I touch you.” He placed a kiss against your head, spurred on by the way you had suddenly become pliant and placid under his touch. “You're practically sucking my fingers in.”
You weren’t certain if the whine that greeted him in response was from his words or the way he pulled his hand back every time you tried to sink onto his fingers.
“Please.”
“Sorry, angel. I’m not gonna finger fuck you. Just gonna sit here and play with what’s mine.”
Jimin was not usually particularly possessive but god was it hot.
If his fingers hadn’t immediately moved back to roll over your clit, you might have had the energy in you to complain, but instead, you found yourself plaint in his arm, thighs trembling.
“I’ll... shit... I’ll cum if you keep that up.”
“Bummer. Guess there won’t be any need to fuck you then.”
“Dammit! Just fuck me, Minnie!”
“Hm... I dunno, I think I’m going to need a little bit more convincing before I do–“
“Oh, please, please!” You were rambling before he could finish his sentence. “Fill me up, Minnie. I need it so badly. I can take it I promise.”
“H-Holy fuck, okay. Dirty fucking mouth. Come here, baby.”
And just like that, you pushed yourself back up onto your knees, moving to hover over Jimin’s painfully erect cock.
Your boyfriend’s hands cradled your hips as you aligned the two of you, kneading the soft flesh tenderly.
“I love you.” You promised as you sank down. He threw his head back as you fell into the rhythm that felt as natural as breathing with him.
“Damn right you do, you're my fucking girl. Mine.”
He loved the way you moved with him - loved the way you felt like the piece he was missing. He loved everything about you and couldn’t help but shower you with praise as you rode his cock, wishing he could give you more than just car sex. He felt helpless near you, nowhere near as confident as he came across. You were spectacular in every single way, smiling as you leaned over to kiss him.
——
“Tell me about New York City,” Jimin ran his fingers down your arm.
The two of you had long forgotten about Jurassic Park, now reclothed and cuddled up in the back of his car.
You raised an eyebrow, “Honesty? It’s loud and dirty. Not to mention traffic is shit.”
“That sounds… terrible?”
“It is,” You breathed, “But it’s not. It’s the perfect place to disappear. No one gives you a shit about what you’ve got going on, no matter how fucked up you feel. Everyone is just trying to deal with their own chaos and get through the day.”
“Sounds kind of lonely.” He muttered. You hummed in contemplation, wondering how it was that you felt just the opposite. It was weirdly comforting to know that no matter your story, those in the city had seen worse.
“Did you know that when you’re deep in the city, there isn’t a single star in the night sky. Not a single one.” You recounted.
Jimin tilted his head, “What do you mean there are no stars?”
“It’s like they’ve all gone missing and the sky is just this massive empty black hole.”
“How can there be no stars? Where do they go?” He laughed.
“My theory? The city needs so much power to run that they had to steal every star from the sky above them… Though I’m told it’s something called light pollution that just covers the stars.”
“I like your theory better.” He smiled.
You turned towards the massive screen, watching as dinosaurs wreaked havoc.
“There’s a complex above the bar I used to work at. They have a rooftop that you’re not technically supposed to access but everyone does anyway. At night you have the most perfect view of the city skyline. The sky is just this hazy gray color but the further out you look, the lights from the surrounding buildings start to look like little stars sprinkled on the ground. I’ve always thought of it as New York’s version of the night sky. Like looking at the world upside down. It’s just… spectacular.” You marveled.
You could still see it so vividly in your mind, how the empty sky glowed and the buildings twinkled.
“You’ve always had stars in your eyes,” Jimin said suddenly, eyes fixated on you. You turned to meet his gaze.
“Hm?”
There was an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face, “Do you remember the first night we met?”
You blinked, taken aback by his abrupt question.
“Hoseok introduced us. Second year of high school. Homeroom.”
Jimin shook his head.
“Do you remember the last home football game of our freshman year?”
Freshman year? Football game? Yeah, you remembered that.
“I mean, yeah. That was before I decided I hated school functions and only wanted to hang out with social rejects and lowlives. First and only high school football game I attended. Why?” You pondered.
“You and Hoseok were standing on the top of the bleachers. I think the two of you were trying to figure out how to climb the announcer building without dying or getting caught.” Jimin went on to recount.
“Oh, snap! I remember that! We did it, too. I remember it took me ages to convince Guyi to come climb up. Hoseok got a bunch of kids to come and join us… You were there?”
Jimin nodded at you, also remembering the way you and the thick-framed girl were close back then.
Jimin actually remembered much more than that. He recalled almost vividly how he and a few friends were called to follow the rowdy boy he knew from history class and how he led them through the bleachers and toward side the side of a building. There were two girls sitting on top already, the louder of the two turned around and waved at the newcomers, before turning back towards the sky, legs stretched out in front of her as she chatted with her best friend.
The other girl you were with, which he would later learn was Guyi, was sitting away from the edge, arms wrapped tightly around herself as she shivered at the night’s chill. She looked uncomfortable and he could hear her muttering about wanting to go back down but you insisted that the view of the stars was better where up here, leaning back on your palms as you faced the night sky.
He was taken by you immediately and spent the rest of the time on the roof glancing your way in hopes even just a quick peek of how the twinkling lights reflected off your irises.
You were all he could think about, even as the principal came screaming at you guys to come down. He thought of you as his older brother Jihoon drove him back home, silent in his seat as he stared up at the very same sky that captured your attention. He thought of you throughout that following summer and the very first day of your sophomore year, when he finally worked up the courage to tell Hoseok how he felt, leading the more extroverted boy to introduce the two of you.
And he had loved you ever since. Even now he loved you, eight years later, sat on Hoseok’s couch as you and the people you grew up with all played a drinking game, the movie since wrapped up, and the function heading back to Hoseok’s place.
He watched as you smiled and laughed with the others and imagined a world in which this could become your guys' new normal. Where every day could be just like how things were and he could just love you as easily as breathing.
But real life was never as easy as fantasies. Real-life consisted of messes and trauma and hurt feelings; there was no glossing over the past four years. And the more Jimin drank from his cup, the harder it was to keep up this game of pretend the two of you agreed on. One day you would have enough and you would leave him again.
He knew this was temporary - he agreed to it after all. He had kept you in this town despite how much he knew it hurt you to be here. Truthfully, as he sat on the couch getting far more inebriated than he should’ve, Jimin was angry. Perhaps with himself, perhaps with the world, perhaps with both — it didn’t matter in the end.
Because every day with you meant waiting for the day you would leave and what was he to do but keep on loving you?
He felt helpless.
“Where did you go?” Were his words as you sank back next to him on the couch, having been eliminated from the game taking place at the coffee table. Hoseok, Gwen, and a few other familiar faces were still sitting around it, laughing and joking with one another drunkenly.
“Huh? What do you mean? I was sitting right there.” You giggled, glancing down at the cup of liquor that Jimin had in his hand. “Don’t tell me you’re still a lightweight, Minnie?”
He was boiling, and the words were spilling up and over faster than he could make sense of.
“Where were you, Y/N? I tried to find you I– You left me.”
Something was wrong. You could hear it in his words, and see it in the way his glossy eyes threatened to spill over. He brought his cup back up to his mouth, taking a large sip. You took it from him the second you realized just how drunk he was.
“Hey, that’s enough… let’s go outside, okay? Get some air.” You were up on your feet in an instant, eyes flickering over to the group to see if anyone had heard.
“You left me,” Jimin repeated.
“Jimin. Please.” There was a desperate look in your eyes, clearly not wanting to have this conversation with other people present.
Blinking away the lump in his throat, he got up from the couch and followed you out of the room, slipping through the sliding glass door onto the patio.
The patio door shut with a quiet click, the chill of the cold night greeting you both.
“How did you just... pack your bags and leave it all behind? Leave us behind? I thought you loved me.” Jimin wiped away at his cheeks blindly, unsure of when he started crying.
“I did— Minnie, I do.” You tried your best to keep your voice level, growing emotional at the topic at hand and at the man you loved hurting.
“Was I not enough of a reason to stay?”
Your mouth opened and closed repeatedly as you struggled to answer him. You, just like him, were intoxicated and nowhere in the right state of mind to be having this conversation.
“I mean, fuck, love bug! You just left!” His voice pitched up in disbelief, clearly not aware of his volume raising as well.
You were trembling. Though from the cold or the guilt you weren’t sure.
“I-I know, I-”
“You just left and never came back? This is your home–”
“Don’t fucking say that!” You snapped, surprising both you and Jimin.
A tsunami of emotion crashed into you.
“My parents are dead, Jimin. And I know you get it, I know you lost your brother but… Minnie, I couldn’t breathe! I-I felt trapped, and… god, after they died— it was me who was dying. Yes, I was wrong to leave but I was young and hurting and.. I just couldn’t let this town kill me too.”
Your hands found your face, covering it as a wave of melancholy rushed over you.
“I was supposed to be in that fire. I ran off to Grams because of a stupid, meaningless fight with my mom. After they died, I spent an entire year wondering if I shouldn’t have just died right there with them.”
You couldn’t bear to look up at Jimin. You couldn’t bear to see the pity in his eyes as you laid out the worst of you for him to hear.
“The second I stepped out of this town was the first real breath of air I had taken since they died. I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing with my life but I know that this town stopped being my home the second they died.”
Any and all anger had melted away from the orange-haired man.
“Y/N–”
You looked up suddenly, frown furrowed and eyes blurry with tears.
“I don’t need forever. I just need right now, okay, that’s what you said to me the night of the bonfire. You said that, remember?”
“I remember.” He sounded sorrowful.
“I love you, Minnie. I never stopped loving you. But they’re gone.” You mourned, breaths uneven. “And they’re everywhere I look in this town. I mean… why can I come back but they can’t? How is that fucking fair?!”
You were nearly inconsolable, watery eyes barely widening as your face was suddenly taken into Jimin’s hands, his thumbs brushing past your wet cheeks.
“I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. You’re right. I’ve already asked so much of you. This town has taken too much.” His eyes searched yours. “I... I wish you would’ve told me. When they died… for a year you said nothing. I thought you needed your space so I gave it to you, but I never would have if I knew you were planning to leave. What if I could’ve helped? You helped me when we lost Jihoon, remember?”
“I know...” Your answer was lackluster. Because you didn’t have an answer for him. You didn’t know why you pushed away those who loved you when your parents first died.
Was it teenage naivety? Was it fear of losing anyone else?
You wished you could give the sweet boy a solid answer. But you weren’t even sure that sober you could. God, he deserved so much more than you had given him.
“It was you and me against the world, remember? Through all the shit and garbage life throws at us. You were my person. You still are.”
“I just… there is so much out there, Jimin. So much this small town can never offer. If you only saw the cities, the kinds of people that come in and out.” You emphasized, suddenly inspired.
“What if… what if you come with me.” Your voice was small, knowing the impossibility of what you were asking him.
His eyes told you the answer to your question he even spoke.
“Bug, I… My family needs me here. Everything is here… I don’t know if I can just leave. This… this is my home.” His brows fell, rubbing your cheek apologetically.
“I know. But I can’t let you put your life on hold for me. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I strung you along for another four years. When I leave I don’t want you holding onto me. You deserve to move on and find a life here like you’ve always wanted.”
“The life here that I always wanted was with you.” Jimin cried, pulling you into him.
You buried your face into his neck and for a moment the two of you just held each other and cried.
“I’m sorry.” You said, knowing that neither of you could do this anymore.
“I’m sorry, too.” He held you tighter.
The game of pretend had drawn to a close and neither of you had won.
—
Your grandmother was awake and doing a crossword in the kitchen when you walked back home later that night without Jimin.
“Hi, darling.” Your grandmother greeted, only noticing the way your hair stuck onto your wet cheeks once you came into the kitchen light.
“Oh, bless your little cotton socks, come here.”
She held you as you cried — she cried too, knowing that this meant goodbye in more ways than one.
She slept in your bed that night, holding you close in a way that she did for your mother and that your mother once did for you. There was so much you could never repay your grandmother for. You’d spend the rest of your life calling her from every city apologizing if that's what it took for her to forgive you for choosing to leave once again. But even if hadn’t told your grandmother you were leaving, even if she didn’t help you pack your bags that very next morning, she would forgive you because all she ever wanted was for you to follow your heart.
The same heart that had her drop you off at Jimin’s the next day.
Your knuckles rapped a somber tune onto his door, the sun pleasantly hitting on your skin, very polar opposite to how cold your insides felt.
You could hear a scuffling from inside the shed, suddenly embarrassingly aware of how little soundproofing Jimin’s room had. Thank goodness it was far from the main house.
“Y/N?” Jimin called out, the door handle turning.
Panicking, you gripped the handle, holding the door shut.
“Wait! Don’t open the door.” You warned, not exactly sure what came over you.
“Why? Bug, what’s wrong?” Jimin sounded concerned but let go of the handle regardless.
You fought with your thoughts for a moment.
“I can’t... If I see your face I’ll...”
You were a coward. You swore this time you wouldn’t just disappear, you had seen the pain you had caused him. But even still, even when you came to tell him you were leaving, you couldn’t bear to see his face. You could not see the face of the man you loved so much and tell him you were leaving him. You just couldn’t.
You didn’t feel strong or brave or anything Jimin insisted you were. Hand pressed against the closed door to Jimin’s room, you felt small and pitiful, far from someone who should be asking what you were about to do.
“I’m going to say something. It doesn’t need a response now, okay?” You called out, loud enough so he could hear.
You swallowed roughly, your throat dry. “My bus ride back home is today. Noon.”
Silence fell.
Your heart was pounding in your throat, nearly blocking out the words you had spent all night rehearsing.
“If you don’t show up, I’ll go. And I won’t come back. I mean it. I want you to move on. You have to try. Don’t give up your life for me.”
Jimin was just on the other side of the door, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, having just rolled out of bed. You didn’t explain yourself further, and perhaps you didn’t need to. He mulled over your words in his head.
If he didn’t show up, you’d hop on the train and slip out of his life forever.
“But if you show up...” you trailed off as if losing your nerve. But he understood all the same.
If he showed up to stop you, you’d stay.
You knew he could never physically ask you, but if he wanted you to stay, you would. Just seeing him would crumble your resolve and you’d stay with him here forever, even if it killed you.
“This isn’t a test or anything.” You said after a moment as if the thought came to you suddenly. “I know you love me. You don’t have to prove that to me.”
His shoulders sank, realizing what you were asking of him.
“I just... I didn’t give you a choice last time.”
Your words wrapping around Jimin like an old shirt— warm but ill-fitting.
How many nights had he dreamt of you saying those exact words? How many times had he pictured the night you left going different, with you telling him your plans of leaving and him convincing you to stay? Nothing would’ve changed and you’d go back to spending every night tangled up together and every day in his passenger seat, window cracked and wind brushing past your hair as you sang along to one of his playlists.
All he ever wanted was to go back to loving you like he used to. Loving you and imagining the life the two of you would build here.
“I-I’ll stay here and… and love you and figure out all my emotional garbage. I won’t leave you again.” Your voice was shaking. “If you ask me to, I’ll stay.”
Tears found Jimin’s eyes.
From the moment he met you, way back in high school, you had talked about seeing the world. You had big dreams that couldn’t fit in this tiny town. You were larger than life and he always knew to an extent that he have to spend the rest of his life running in order to catch up to where you were.
He just never thought you’d run further than he could go.
Don’t give up your life for me, you had said as you offered to do exactly that for him.
He saw the spark behind your eyes whenever you spoke of the city. He saw the way you turned into a shell of yourself at old memories. He would break his own heart ten times over before he would ever keep you here.
But you would break your own heart ten times if it meant you could save his heart from breaking again. Because if he wanted you to say, you could try to be happy here. Maybe you could try to be happy and try to be with Jimin and try for a nice ordinary life. You wouldn’t stay for you but you would stay for him.
Because you loved him far more than you loved yourself.
“If this is goodbye, then just know that… I love you. And I’m sorry.”
Sorry was all you could ever feel in this town. Sorry for all the hurt you caused and the mess you always left behind. Sorry for yourself and the life you would never get back. Perhaps it would’ve been better if you had turned down Jimin’s advances that night at the bonfire. More likely it would’ve been better if you hadn’t come back at all.
But the one-sided conversation through Jimin’s door was your best attempt at undoing a fraction of the hurt you had caused him, however pathetic it was.
——
You were standing amongst a crowd of moving bodies, watching anxiously as other buses began to board.
“He might show up.” You muttered to yourself. “It's not too late, he might show up.”
“Darling!”
You heard your grandmother call out, and you scoured the crowd before finding her, a breath of relief finding you. She had driven you to the bus station and left momentarily to use the bathroom for a moment — you feared you might have to board your bus without seeing her again.
“They just called for my bus.” You said the second she was within earshot. She looked around with you, watching as a line began to form in front of your bus. But your eyes wandered further, looking past the line, past your bus, and Elvie knew at once who you were looking for.
“You don’t have to go, you know.” She placed a hand on your cheek, pulling your attention back onto her.
“I know…” You nodded back at her, biting on the inside of your cheek.
“…But you want to.” She acknowledged. You were her blood after all. And no time apart could undo the way she knew her grandchild.
You met her eyes regretfully, guilt written all over you.
“I’ll call you every week.” You promised.
She pinched your cheek, “Even every month would do. I will miss you greatly. And I love you dearly.”
“I love you, Grams.” You pulled her into a tight embrace.
“Stay safe, darling.”
The two once estranged family members shared one final hug before the final call for your bus rang out. Shooting the bus station one final once over for a shade of orange, you waved your grandmother farewell and joined the line, boarding and sitting on the bus within a few minutes.
Elvie stayed at her spot for ten minutes, watching as the bus drove off and took her grandchild with it, waving goodbye even when you were too far to even see her.
A tear ran down her face as she clasped her hands together, hoping that you might find whatever you are continuing to search for.
A man joined her just then, emerging from behind the wall where he had been hiding, yanking off his grey beanie to reveal a bright mop of orange hair.
“There you are. Thought you were going to stand behind that wall forever.” Elvie acknowledged him, wiping away her tears.
“Sorry... And sorry to bombard you while you were on the way to the bathroom. Did you manage to slip it into her bag?” He asked.
“Of course I did. She was too busy looking for you to even notice.” Elvie reassured, watching as Jimin stared off in the direction you had left.
Jimin wasn’t sure when you’d find it, but eventually you’d find the black cassette tape he had dedicated to you all those years ago.
“It’s a playlist I made of all the songs that remind me of you.”
If it weren’t for you rummaging through his car, the tape would’ve continued to slip his mind— a forgotten relic forged from the time in which he swore he would never see you again. Carefully selected songs forming a cacophony of bitterness, longing, anger and sorrow.
After you left him this morning, Jimin lay across his bed, listening to your mixtape for the first time in years. An emotional time capsule in the form of plastic film and faded sharpie. He remembered vividly what every song meant, he remembered every raw unfiltered feeling he held for the last four years.
He held onto you for so long.
"Thank you for giving that to her."
“I have to ask… I mean, you showed up. You could’ve given her that mixtape in person. Why hide?” Your grandmother pressed.
“I had to see her. But I knew if she saw me she wouldn’t have left, and she would’ve continued to hurt herself just for me.” Jimin’s eyes welled up with emotion. “She deserves so much more than that, even if she doesn’t see it yet.”
Because you were the girl with stars in her eyes and big dreams and he was just the boy who loved you just enough to let you go.
------------------
THE END and before you yell at me, please respect my artistic vision EEEEP!! I love these characters and want what is best for them and the only way to do that is to honor the life that both truly deserve, even if that means it's not a life with each other. I thought long and hard about how to end this series, just putting that out there bc I know a bittersweet ending can be disappointing. AAHHH ILY MWAH! <3
taetae is here to remind all of you to stay hydrated
happy birthday to the most relatable cutie, jimin 🥰 (insp.) (cr. jung-koook, qdeoks, namuspromised. transl cr. taee, bts-trans)