the-perks-of-being-a-person - the perks of being a person
the perks of being a person

I want to drink a milkshake upside down

715 posts

OOOOOOOH.

OOOOOOOH.

Kenji: I’m hungry. Let’s go eat something. Naomi: Okay, what do you want to eat? Kenji: Anything is fine. As long as it’s delicious and cheap. Naomi: How about ramen? Kenji: Ramen sounds good. Let’s go to that place near the Agency. Naomi: Okay, let’s go. *They arrive at the ramen shop* Kenji: Wow, this place looks nice. And it smells good too. Naomi: Yeah, it does. Let’s go inside and order. *They enter the shop and see Dazai and Chuuya sitting at a table* Kenji: Hey, look. It’s Dazai and Chuuya. Naomi: What? Where? Kenji: Over there. They’re eating ramen together. Naomi: Really? Let me see. *She looks at the table and sees Dazai and Chuuya slurping noodles and staring into each other’s eyes* Naomi: Oh my god. They’re on a date. Kenji: What? No, they’re not. They’re just eating ramen. Naomi: No, they’re definitely on a date. Look at how they’re looking at each other. And how close they are sitting. And how they’re sharing the same bowl of ramen. Kenji: That doesn’t mean anything. Maybe they’re just hungry and don’t care about personal space. Naomi: Or maybe they’re in love and don’t care about anything else. Kenji: That’s ridiculous. They’re enemies, not lovers. Naomi: Well, you know what they say. There’s a thin line between love and hate. Kenji: Who says that? Naomi: I don’t know. Some people. Kenji: Well, some people are wrong. Dazai and Chuuya hate each other. They would never date each other. Naomi: Fine, then why don’t we ask them? Kenji: Ask them what? Naomi: Ask them if they’re on a date or not. Kenji: No, that’s rude. We can’t just barge into their conversation and ask them personal questions. Naomi: Why not? It’s not like they’re busy or anything. They’re just eating ramen. Kenji: Still, it’s none of our business. Let’s just leave them alone and find another table. Naomi: No, I want to know the truth. Come on, let’s go talk to them. Kenji: No, wait. Don’t drag me into this. *Naomi drags Kenji to the table where Dazai and Chuuya are sitting* Naomi: Excuse me, Dazai-san, Chuuya-san. Can we ask you something? Dazai: Hm? What is it? Chuuya: What do you want? Naomi: We were wondering… are you two on a date?

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We stan

Akutagawa: You’re weak. Atsushi: You’re mean. Akutagawa: You’re pathetic. Atsushi: You’re rude. Akutagawa: You’re annoying. Atsushi: You’re cute. Akutagawa: …What? Atsushi: …What?


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Kill him with cuteness, Kyouka. Or stab him, that works too.

Kyouka: Can I have a cookie? Kenji: Sure, here you go. Kyouka: Thank you. Kenji: You’re welcome. Kyouka: Can I have another cookie? Kenji: Sure, here you go. Kyouka: Thank you. Kenji: You’re welcome. Kyouka: Can I have all the cookies? Kenji: …No, that’s not fair to the others. Kyouka: *pulls out knife*  Kenji: …Okay, take them all.


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*Akutagawa-level coughing* They're Gay

Chuuya: I don’t need a therapist. I have wine. Dazai: That’s not healthy. Chuuya: Neither are you, but I still drink you. Dazai: What?


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POV he couldn't solve it.

Kunikida: What are you doing? Ranpo: Solving a case. Kunikida: With a Rubik’s cube? Ranpo: It’s a metaphor. You see, each color represents a clue, and by solving it, I reveal the truth. Kunikida: That’s not how it works. Ranpo: Trust me, I’m a genius.


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