Of Ranpo's Shenanigans - Tumblr Posts

Diversion Tactics

Kunikida: Ranpo, please focus. We have a case to solve. Ranpo: Fine, fine. What’s the problem? Kunikida: Someone stole a priceless painting from the museum last night. Ranpo: And? Kunikida: And we need to find out who did it and how they escaped. Ranpo: Oh, that’s easy. It was me. Kunikida: What?! Ranpo: Just kidding. Or am I? Kunikida: Ranpo!

Ranpo is eagerly waiting for the new level.

Kunikida: Ranpo, please focus. We have a case to solve. Ranpo: I am focused. I’m just multitasking. Kunikida: Multitasking? You’re playing Candy Crush on your phone. Ranpo: And solving the case in my head. Kunikida: Really? Then tell me, who’s the culprit? Ranpo: Easy. It’s the guy with the red hat and the mole on his chin. Kunikida: How did you know that? Ranpo: I saw him on the security footage. Kunikida: Then why didn’t you say so earlier? Ranpo: Because I was busy playing Candy Crush. Duh.

Ranpo is Joe Mama

Ranpo: Hey, Kunikida. I have a riddle for you. Kunikida: Not now, Ranpo. I’m busy. Ranpo: Come on, it’s fun. Just one riddle. Kunikida: Fine. What is it? Ranpo: What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs? Kunikida: A clock. Ranpo: Wrong. It’s your mom. Kunikida: What? That doesn’t make any sense. Ranpo: It does if you think about it. Kunikida: No, it doesn’t. That’s not a riddle. That’s just an insult. Ranpo: Well, you’re no fun.

Kunikida is unhappy, to say the least

Kunikida: Ranpo, please focus. We have a case to solve. Ranpo: Fine, fine. But first, can you answer me this: If you had to choose between saving a drowning puppy or a drowning Dazai, what kind of sandwich would you make?

Ranpo can indeed multitask

Kunikida: Ranpo, please focus. We have a case to solve. Ranpo: I am focused. I’m just multitasking. Kunikida: Eating candy and playing video games is not multitasking. Ranpo: It is if you’re a genius like me.

Ranpo is behaving

Kunikida: Ranpo, please. This is a serious mission. We need to focus and work together. Ranpo: Fine, fine. I’ll behave. Kunikida: Thank you. Ranpo: But first, let me take a selfie.

He aint lying tho

Ranpo: I’m the smartest person in this room. Yosano: You’re the only person in this room. Ranpo: And your point is? Yosano: Never mind.

Crossword do have clues tho

Kunikida: What are you doing? Ranpo: Solving a case. Kunikida: With a crossword puzzle? Ranpo: It’s a clue, Kunikida. A clue.

Snack money.

Fukuzawa: I’m proud of you all. You’ve done a great job. Dazai: Thank you, sensei. We couldn’t have done it without you. Kunikida: Yeah, thank you for everything. Ranpo: Thank you for the snacks. Fukuzawa: …

Yum!

Ranpo: I’m bored. Let’s play a game. Yosano: What kind of game? Ranpo: A guessing game. I’ll think of something and you have to guess what it is. Yosano: Fine. What are you thinking of? Ranpo: It’s round and red and juicy and sweet. Yosano: Is it an apple? Ranpo: No. Yosano: Is it a cherry? Ranpo: No. Yosano: Is it a tomato? Ranpo: No. Yosano: Then what is it? Ranpo: It’s a murder scene.

Thoughts?

Ranpo: I’m hungry. Let’s order some pizza. Yosano: Okay. What kind of pizza do you want? Ranpo: Pepperoni. Yosano: Okay. Anything else? Ranpo: Cheese. Yosano: Okay. Anything else? Ranpo: Pineapple. Yosano: No. Absolutely not. Ranpo: Why not? Pineapple is delicious. Yosano: Pineapple does not belong on pizza. It’s a crime against humanity. Ranpo: No, it’s not. It’s a gift from heaven.

Nobody trusts Ranpo anymore

Ranpo: I have a brilliant idea. Yosano: Oh no. Ranpo: Hear me out. Yosano: Oh no. Ranpo: Trust me, it will work. Yosano: OH NO.

Ranpo is like L from death note.

Kunikida: Ranpo, you need to stop eating so much candy. It’s bad for your health. Ranpo: No, it’s not. It’s good for my brain. Kunikida: How is it good for your brain? Ranpo: It makes me happy. And happiness is the key to intelligence. Kunikida: That’s not how it works. Ranpo: Yes, it is. Trust me, I’m a genius.

Mamma Mia, Here we go again!

Ranpo: I’m the smartest person in the world. No one can beat me in a battle of wits.

Poe: Challenge accepted.

Ranpo: Bring it on.

Yosano: Oh no, not again.

Kunikida: Someone stop them before they destroy the city.

POV he couldn't solve it.

Kunikida: What are you doing? Ranpo: Solving a case. Kunikida: With a Rubik’s cube? Ranpo: It’s a metaphor. You see, each color represents a clue, and by solving it, I reveal the truth. Kunikida: That’s not how it works. Ranpo: Trust me, I’m a genius.

Guess nobody died.

Ranpo: I’m bored. Let’s play a game. Yosano: What kind of game? Ranpo: A murder mystery game. One of us is the killer and the rest are the victims. Yosano: That sounds fun. How do we decide who’s the killer? Ranpo: Easy. We draw straws. Yosano: Okay, let’s do it. Ranpo: *pulls out a bunch of straws* Yosano: Wait a minute. These are all short. Ranpo: Oops. Looks like I’m the killer then. Yosano: Ranpo, this is cheating. Ranpo: No, it’s not. It’s strategy.

Kyouka: What are you reading? Atsushi: It’s a book about how to be a good detective. Kyouka: Can I see it? Atsushi: Sure, here you go. Kyouka: *reads the title* How to Be a Good Detective by Ranpo Edogawa Atsushi: Yeah, he wrote it himself. He said it’s a bestseller. Kyouka: *flips through the pages* There’s nothing here. It’s just blank. Atsushi: What? Let me see. *takes the book back* Atsushi: Oh, he must have given me the wrong one. This is his notebook. Kyouka: Or maybe he’s just messing with you.

Chaos, ACTIVATE

Ranpo: I have a brilliant idea. Yosano: Oh no. Ranpo: Hear me out. It’s a game show where we swap the abilities of the Agency and the Mafia members and see what happens. Yosano: Oh hell no.

I mean its true.¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

Fukuzawa: I’m proud of you all. You’ve done a great job today. Ranpo: Thanks, dad. Fukuzawa: Don’t call me that. Ranpo: Okay, daddy. Fukuzawa: Stop it.

So... What does that mean?

Fyodor: You can’t catch me, Detective. I’m always one step ahead of you. Ranpo: Oh, really? Then how do you explain this? Fyodor: What is that? Ranpo: A tracking device. I planted it on you when we met. Fyodor: That’s impossible. We never met. Ranpo: Exactly.