Now When Characters In Movies Do CPR I Look At Their Technique. And When They Say Its Not Working!

Now when characters in movies do ‘CPR’ I look at their technique. And when they say ‘it’s not working!’

Me: Well that’s because you’re not doing it right unless you hear/feel ribs cracking...

Movie: what do wE dOoOO???

Me: you’re literally just tapping his chest. You gotta like, punch your palms into their chest.

Movie: (feeling the wrong part of the neck) i dOnT fEeL a PuLsE!!!!

Me:You’re supposed to feel the side of the neck with the VeInS fAm

Movie: They’re gone... they’re dead...

Me: NOT IF YOU DO THE CPR RIGHT!!!!!

Movie: There was nothing we could do...

Me: There 👏was 👏plenty👏you👏could👏do👏

Parents of young children (more specifically, young boys): please teach them about what boobs are, so we avoid situations in which the female guards are wearing bikini tops in the pool during the break, while a young man stares at them stuttering ‘b-bbbb-bbb-bbbbb...BOOOOOBBBBBS’ while backing away into the arms of his elder friends.

This has been a P.S.A from a very recent experience.

LES GO GUYS/GALS/PEOPLE

I’ll just leave this here

Do not tell us that you can have ‘unlimited guests per pool pass’. We know that’s bullshit. You know that’s bullshit. We all know that’s bullshit.

Not really a lifeguard thing, but a recent experience of mine.

Literally nothing is more painful than losing interest in something you used to be so passionate about.

Hey, real fuckin quick:

My dad is in the military, Navy to be specific. He is out at sea right now. He and my mom had been messaging back and forth for a while, so when she asked if he was coming home (jokingly) he said, even if they were turning the ship around, the tugboats would have to pull them into dock.

But the thing is, he’s supposed to be coming home soon in the first place, before Trumps shit show.

The Tugboat workers are federal employees, who, because of the government shit down( my phone auto corrected from ‘shut’ to ‘shit’, but I saw no real difference, so we’re keeping it.) aren’t working. But my point is, someone else’s mom or dad in the Navy/Military can’t come home right now because the federal workers aren’t there. And damnit, I miss my dad, and I’m sure there are plenty of kids and teens who miss their parents too.

So if Trump doesn’t get his shit together and take control of his fucking party, bitch, imma go to DC myself and fuck some shit up. Because if the tugboats aren’t being operated, he and the crew will have to sit somewhere in the water off shore, and wait for who-knows-how-long. And just for a heads up to anyone who didn’t know, regular military workers like my dad, aren’t getting paid till this is over.

And honestly, it’s fucking despicable how CHIP and DACA (two amazing, life saving programs) are being held hostage by Mich McCoward and the other republican representatives. Fuck them. Honestly. They could have funded either of those at any given time, but they didn’t because they want to hold a part of the American population hostage unless their wishes to deport Mexican-American citizens are met.

I really fucking hate the American political system right now. And I don’t see why any reasonable person would approve of anything the Republicans are trying to pull right now.