Used to do Lifeguard stuff, now I simply vibe. 24 YO, She/her preferred, but I don’t mind They/Them, Bi Pride
96 posts
Thecoollifeguard - Friendly Neighborhood Lifeguard - Tumblr Blog
Y’all, I’ve been doing this job for three years. I’ve had scares before where I thought someone was drowning (mainly children), but because their parents are always vigilant I’ve never had to jump in the water to get anyone. Parents! Please stay aware of where your child is in the pool! If you don’t want them going past a certain depth, tell the lifeguards! We will whistle and warn your child to go back to where you are most comfortable with them playing in the water.
Parent: How many lives have you saved?
Me: Human or Bee?
Do not ask us how many people we’ve rescued. Just don’t. And if you do decide to ignore me, then don’t just assume that because a lifeguard says ‘Oh I haven’t saved anyone’ that they are incompetent. That means that they are actually preventing accidents before they happen, which should comfort you.
The positive part about being the lifeguard is learning all the kids names. That way they don’t feel so attacked when you call them out.
‘Ayyo John, I been telling you to stop running my man.’
‘Hey Aiden, could you stop doing that for a minute.’
‘Molly, sweetie I’m gonna need you to stop splashing me for a minute.’
I don’t want the kids to be afraid of me. If there’s a problem, or they aren’t feeling right, I want them to be comfortable enough to tell me. And if I’m just the ‘mean lifeguard’ they’re not gonna come to me when they have a problem.
Despite what I put up on this blog, I do enjoy my job, and nearly everyone that comes in. I’m not this mean irl, but these are my inner thoughts (sometimes outer words) on being in my work environment.
If you bring us food, you can get away with just about anything at the pool, but you ain’t hear it from me.
Trick jump? I mean, it looked like a fancy cannon ball to me.
Unscheduled birthday party? Nah, y’all just came in and happened to bring birthday food.
Murder? I ain’t see it.
I was to focused on the pizza y’all brought me on that pool break.
No I will not ‘watch your kids for just a minute while you run off and go somewhere else’. Y’all ain’t paying me extra for babysitting while I’m working.
‘But you’d be watching them anyway! It’s just for 5 minutes!’ I’m watching everyone. And let’s say your kid, in the ‘5 minutes’ you’re gone has a seizure/heat stroke/faints/has any medical emergency. We need you there to supply us with information. Is your child allergic to any thing? Do they have medication to take? Is there an epipen to use? Where do they live? How old are they? Who’s going with them to the E.R (if something really bad happened)?
And let’s not forget that if I take my attention off of any of the patrons at my pool for even 2 minutes someone will break a rule. That’s not me being dramatic. It’s a fact. If I don’t call someone out for running/doing a trick jump/shooting someone in the face with a water gun, they’re gonna keep doing it until someone gets hurt.
So, no. I’m not watching your kid and your kid alone, for ‘just 5 minutes’. This hat says ‘lifeguard’ not ‘baby sitter’.
Me to a group of teenage boys: Guys, I ain’t gonna tell you again to stop running.
Teenage boy 1: Uh, I’m a lifeguard too, I know what I’m doing
Me: Okay so when you crack your head open on the edge of the pool from slipping, you gon clean it all up then?
Teenage boy 1: *rolls eyes but remains silent*
Me (inwardly): *that’s what I fuckin thought b*
I actively go out of my way to save a bee in my pool. Like, it happened at least once a day, cause they’re everywhere, and they’re cute, and I feel so happy when they recover and fly away to go make that bread. I just look at them like-
Yes, you go pollinate them flowers.
how do u actually save bees?
what the hell is going on in this country?!
YEESSSSSS SOMEONE DID THE THING THAT I WANT POSTED ON EVERY POOL GATE
instagram.com/chromat
Anyone can help!
(Real pen the last picture)
It is important for EVERYONE to know how to help ANYONE. Not everyone can give them selves their medicine under every circumstance. Be educated, help out.
In the last year, i have gotten about five new violent allergies from foods i used to be able to eat. Next time i eat a fruit, my throat could close. I may not be able to inject myself. My boyfriend and i played with my trainer pen for like 30 minutes. He knows how to inject it. I know how. This is important.
Friendly but serious reminder to stay safe, FOR REAL, YES YOU ALL OF YOU in the eastern two-thirds of the United States who are getting hit with an arctic air mass this week. NOAA put out an alert calling it a “very dangerous and life-threatening arctic air mass;” this is for real.
I know from growing up in the cold that it can be Really Easy to assume you’ll be fine and not take proper precautions because it’s “just cold” and you’re used to it, but extreme cold affects the body in ways that even those of us who grew up with cold winters are not necessarily familiar with.
Extreme cold can be very dangerous–even if you’re physically healthy, even “just” outside in your own neighborhood, etc.
One of my (adult, not even elderly) relative’s feet got frostbite last winter from being outside too long in too cold weather (even though they were wearing socks and boots), and the thing is, frostbite is a type of injury to the skin that then lasts, so it still causes them pain. Sometimes we think of health risks in terms of very stark black-and-white life-threatening-or-not, but even cold that isn’t bad enough to kill you can cause long-lasting damage that will be a pain in the ass for a long time.
Elderly people in their homes during extreme cold are some of those most at risk, so check in with your elderly friends, neighbors or relatives.
Please stay safe out there <3 <3 <3
NOAA page on preparing for cold weather
NOAA’s list of things to have in your car:
Jumper cables: flares or reflective triangle are great extras
Flashlights: Replace the batteries before the winter season starts and pack some extras
First Aid Kit: Also check your purse of bag for essential medications
Baby, special needs gear: If you have a baby or family member with special needs, pack diapers and any special formula or food
Food: Stock non-perishable food such as canned food and a can opener, dry cereal and protein rich foods like nuts and energy bars
Water: Have at least 1 gallon of water per person a day for at least 3 days
Basic toolkit: Pliers, wrench, screwdriver
Pet supplies: Food and water
Radio: Battery or hand cranked
Cat litter or sand: For better tire traction
Shovel: To dig out snow
Ice scraper: Even if you usually park in a garage, have one in the car.
Clothes: Make sure you dress for the weather in warm clothes, gloves, hat, sturdy boots, jacket and an extra change of clothes for the cold
Warmers: Pack extra for body, hands, feet
Blankets or sleeping bags: If you get stranded in traffic on a lonely road, you’ll be glad to have it.
Charged Cell Phone: Keep a
Spare charger in your car as well
NOAA page on hypothermia and frostbite prevention and first aid
“Frostbite can happen in minutes, especially on the extremities such as fingers, toes, nose and ears but can affect any area of exposed skin. If you suspect frostbite, immediately move inside to a heated location and begin warming the affected areas using warm water or body heat. Do not use hot water or radiant heat such as a fireplace since affected areas can be easily burned. Seek medical attention for severe frostbite.” More
“If your temperature is 96°F or less, you feel cold and sluggish, or are having trouble thinking clearly, see your doctor immediately or go to the nearest emergency room. It’s better to be overly cautious than to die of a disorder that doesn’t have to be deadly. If you are trying to help someone who may have hypothermia, first call an ambulance. Then lie close to the person and cover both of you with thick blankets. The hotter you get, the more warmth you can give the other person. Don’t rub the person or handle him or her roughly.” More
It is our duty as feminists to protect and respect women in Hijabs
Quick reminder to everyone with depression:
If you are around someone that constantly makes you feel stupid, it’s probably not ‘just your depression flaring back up’. It’s that person being an asshole and bringing you down.
Thanks for coming to my TEDtalk.
me_irl
Yo I can’t stop watching this, what the actual fuck is this 🤣
A real, actual, I-am-not-fucking-lying-to-you-this-truly-happened moment from the Christmas special Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa
All the dates and deadlines you need to know before voting in the 2018 Midterm Elections
A surprise, to be sure.
Hello snake side of Tumblr! I would like to introduce my little guy, Loki! He likes to explore, and to sleep, and to boop snoots. I bought him from an exotic pet store, and a while back I took him to the vet (just for a little check-up) and I was told that he’s about a year old. (Makes sense though! He is pretty tiny!) He scared me quite a bit at first when I first got him. He went on a 5 month feeding strike, but he did start eating on a regular schedule, and he has had 2 nice, full sheds, and he’s about to shed again fairly soon.
Nice to meet you all!!!
There are companies that are chill, where you and your supervisor can chill and talk shit about other pools, and then there are companies where you make a doctors appointment a week ahead, on a day that you’re free, only to go online and find out the day before the appointment, someone updated your schedule so you’re working on appointment day.
Then the scheduling sup. gets mad at you for not telling them when ‘you’re schedule has been decided for weeks’ when last week there were 0 unconfirmed shifts. Like???
