Broke As Fuck. Think I Shoulda Gone With Green Beans Instead Of Peas But It's Still Pretty Damn Good.

Broke as fuck. Think I shoulda gone with green beans instead of peas but it's still pretty damn good.

No money means no beer for the next couplea days. That'll be interestin'.

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

Someone in the know care to fill me in on what's goin' on in the universe this week? I've been in an extra foul mood for the past couplea days and I'd like to know if I can blame the moon, a particular planet, or if it's just the usual chemical imbalance.

I'm doin' that procrastination thing. I know I need a shower and I know I'll love it once I'm in there but my phone's at 23% so I'll stand here naked in the bathroom watchin' youtube til my legs fall asleep.

It's funny how I can be suicidal one night and discussin' the hilariousness of Gravity Falls with a fellow grown up the next.

Had a fabulous convo with my cousin earlier. Music, books, movies, our shared love tchotchkes... At one point he nearly killed me. I was askin' him if he liked gospel music. We were raised similarly, even tho he's got a good 10 years on me and he said "not really". I told him that despite my general lack of faith, I still seek out gospel music from time to time. He said I was gettin' in touch with my whiteness and I nearly spit out my beer. I found it hilarious because I hadn't noticed it myself but he was so goddamn right. Why, just recently I texted Mama amd asked her if Ricky Van Shelton had done a version of Old Rugged Cross and my cousin helped me realize that, without question, that is the whitest conversation I've ever had. And I've met the lead singer of Pantera so...

Splurged on my favorite beer. Sometimes that's all it takes to improve one's mood.

I swear to fuckin' god...my roommate's boyfriend just made a smartass comment that made me wanna crack his fuckin' jaw. For the sake of my own mental health, I gotta get outta here asap and distance myself from her.

Backstory: my roommate had two dogs, two cats, and a bleedin' heart. She called me while I was on the phone with my cousin to tell me that she went to pick up another fuckin' dog...AFTER TELLIN' ME THAT SHE GOT TESTED FOR COVID AND IS SUPPOSED TO BE QUARANTINED!!!...cut to me comin' downstairs to grab another beer. The boyfriend is tellin' her, in so many words, that she shouldn't take on another dog because of this, that, and the third. So I chime in with "yeah it's like when we took that fuckin' pitbull in!" to which she responded that she wasn't in love with that dog and yadda yadda yadda. Then the boyfriend goes "as I was sayin' before I was interrupted..." and the roommate said "oh sorry babe" he said "oh it's okay, you're not the one that interrupted me..."

Bitch, if you've got somethin' to say, say it.

Anypenis, my cousin was tellin' me that I need to write more. He's been sayin' that for years but I just can't seem to get past the whole, no one gives a fuck about what I have to say thing.

Work sucked last night. I was by myself for nearly an hour and one of my first customers was a shithead. Set the tone for the whole shift, ya know?

The weather has been unpredictable so I haven't been able to go on my walks and I think that's part of my problem.