For As Long As I Can Remember, I've Been Fascinated By Collections. People That Dedicate Their Lives

For as long as I can remember, I've been fascinated by collections. People that dedicate their lives to collecting coins, comic books, shoes, etc. I've never had the patience to collect one thing in particular but I still consider myself a collector. I attach setimental value to random shit and then I surround myself with it. When I was a kid I was really good at finding four leaf clovers and I'd press em in between the pages of my Precious Moments bible. I should really ask my Mama if she still has that lyin' around somewhere.

Here lately, my focus has shifted to feathers. I've got a small pile on my dresser of ones I've found on my walks. Today was particularly fruitful. I found four that my cousin said all came from mockingbirds. Then there was the one in this picture... See, I tend to talk to myself when I go on these walks. I'll whisper out plans for the future or talk myself through things that have happened in the past and try to dig out a lesson. Today, I decided to give myself a pep talk. I was walking up a particularly steep hill and I was reminding myself of all the things I've done. Just as I was realizing that, even though I've had a lot of help along the way, I've also accomplished a great deal on my own. Sure, there were people there to guide me but I was the one that made it work. I'm stronger than I give myself credit for.

Amyway... just as I was reaching the top of the hill and reminding myself that I'm a survivor and always have been, I saw this little hawk feather. Sometimes life has a beautiful sense of timing.

Someone in the know care to fill me in on what's goin' on in the universe this week? I've been in an extra foul mood for the past couplea days and I'd like to know if I can blame the moon, a particular planet, or if it's just the usual chemical imbalance.

Thanks to hulu I'm watchin' SNL from 05 and they made a joke about Trump and The Apprentice. What a simpler time.

Work has been almost fun lately. I still hate the goddamn customers but I work days more now and I get to work with my boss and the adorable lesbian. We make a solid team.

Speakin' of the adorable lesbian coworker: she's feedin' my current bandana obsession. Couplea weeks ago she gave me a pink one, last night she told me that walmart had a bunch, and today she gave me a rainbow one. I went and picked up a couple more.

I really wish I was better at knowin' the difference between flirtin' and small talk. I don't wanna put myself out there if I'm wrong but it sure would be nice to not be alone all the goddamn time.

Amy Poehler's laugh 😍

I swear to fuckin' god...my roommate's boyfriend just made a smartass comment that made me wanna crack his fuckin' jaw. For the sake of my own mental health, I gotta get outta here asap and distance myself from her.

Backstory: my roommate had two dogs, two cats, and a bleedin' heart. She called me while I was on the phone with my cousin to tell me that she went to pick up another fuckin' dog...AFTER TELLIN' ME THAT SHE GOT TESTED FOR COVID AND IS SUPPOSED TO BE QUARANTINED!!!...cut to me comin' downstairs to grab another beer. The boyfriend is tellin' her, in so many words, that she shouldn't take on another dog because of this, that, and the third. So I chime in with "yeah it's like when we took that fuckin' pitbull in!" to which she responded that she wasn't in love with that dog and yadda yadda yadda. Then the boyfriend goes "as I was sayin' before I was interrupted..." and the roommate said "oh sorry babe" he said "oh it's okay, you're not the one that interrupted me..."

Bitch, if you've got somethin' to say, say it.

Anypenis, my cousin was tellin' me that I need to write more. He's been sayin' that for years but I just can't seem to get past the whole, no one gives a fuck about what I have to say thing.

Work sucked last night. I was by myself for nearly an hour and one of my first customers was a shithead. Set the tone for the whole shift, ya know?

The weather has been unpredictable so I haven't been able to go on my walks and I think that's part of my problem.

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed