Brian: Treat Spiders The Way You Want To Be Treated.

Brian: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated.

Liam: Killed without hesitation.

Brian: ….no??

Amira: I don’t have a library card, but can I still check you out?

Joy: Alright come with me.

Amira, to herself: Hell yes!

Amira:

Amira: Wait where are you taking me?

Joy: To get you a library card.

Vicky: honey i don’t think this is a good location for a wedding…

Polly, staring at the abandoned waffle house that was used as a brothel in the 1890s that emits an eerie glow and once had a murder happen inside it and is located precisely 7 miles away from area 51: I think it’s perfect

how do you think different love interests would react if you came to lunch with a mug that says "property of *insert character*"

Holy shit if i had the actual balls to do that... djsdhjfhjds

Vera would smirk as if she'd known everything from the start, commenting on how "Brave" I am for "Publicising it"

Scott would ask so many questions; Mainly "How can a person be property?? Are you secretly not a person" but once everything is carefully explained he would be very supportive of my "Newfound love!!!"

Zoe would be furiously scribbling in her notebook, either doodling this new ship or completely re-writing all of her shipping charts.

Damien would start by laughing and roasting the ever loving shit out of me, quickly turning to questions about what happens behind closed doors, trying and failing to act uninterested.

Polly would want to know about everything "All the juicy deets" as she explained it, not bothering to lower her voice at all in any part of the l o n g conversation.

Calculester would be concerned that I am being held against my will, but after a calm and quiet talk he'd be quite interested in the dynamics of bdsm and how it's broadened his views on life and relationships.

Liams more worried about the ethics of being owned by someone so it would be a back and forth argument on whether or not someone can be owned.

Miranda would be so inspired that she'd make an entire line of mugs for all of her people. Of course she'd change the design of the mug to be more glittery, cheerful and threatening!!

Vera sitting on the couch: I came to apologise

Brian just woken up: how... how did you get in here?

Vera: I didn't come here to neglect the terrible security of your house, I came here to apologise

Lucien: what are your interests?

Oz: your son in my room.

Stan: excuse me?

Oz: the sun and the moon. i love astronomy.