thelindenpapers - TheLindenPapers
TheLindenPapers

The casually gathered thoughts, musings, and writings of a feral old woman.40s, Black, Puerto Rican, neurodivergent, atheist/ex-christian, cis gendered, heterosexual, heteroromantic, allosexual, sex positive, disabled; survivor since childhood STILL stubbornly continuing to survive.Always learning. Always trying to find ways to remain human despite the pressures of this capitalist hell-machine.โœจ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿ––๐Ÿพโ˜€๏ธ๐ŸŒŠ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ท๐ŸŒบ๐ŸŒช๏ธ๐ŸŒ•๐Ÿ––๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒŒโœจ[This is more often than not going to be a collection of slightly cleaned-up, random thoughts and musings, and responses that I've given in various conversations that people seem to have really liked and asked to see. ^^;It's not a place where I'll debate, so. Conservatives will not be entertained... more likely deleted and blocked...admittedly, with pleasure. :3 ...And I can't believe I have to say this, but this "will-be-blocked-not-entertained" rule ***includes TERFs!*** ๐Ÿ™„]{ And...To be perfectly honest, it's better if minors don't follow me. I will get smutty on occasion ^^; It's only a matter of time.}Friends In Need: My home situation is..not good. I don't control my household or have my own money. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ I'm so sorry. I wish that I did. (Or I wish I at *least* lived with someone who shared my values, who would agree on what is important to spend on.)IF I ever do have anything, I'll probably give through one of the pages that has vetted requests. Please focus your energies on getting listed there.Again, I am sorry. I know it doesn't mean anything, but I will hope and yearn always for your safety, liberation, and comfort, and for victory against every oppressor.โœจ๐ŸŒŒ๐Ÿž๏ธโœŠ๐ŸพMay the land be yours once againโœŠ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŒ…๐ŸŒŒโœจโœจโœŠ๐Ÿพ๐ŸŠ๐Ÿ‰๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‰๐ŸŠโœŠ๐Ÿพโœจ

524 posts

I'm A Cis Woman, But The Concept Of Gender Euphoria Sounds Strangely Familiar To Me.

I'm a cis woman, but the concept of gender euphoria sounds strangely familiar to me.

I get the feeling of being happy and satisfied to be a woman (though, obviously, not happy with the way that some people and some institutions treat me because of my womanhood ๐Ÿ˜…), on occasion.

I remember the first time that I felt it.

The first time that I realized that I was a girl.

I couldn't have been older than three, though I suspect that I was only two.

I was in the house, playing in the hallway.

Bright sunlight was spilling from the big window above the kitchen counter at the end of the hall, where my mom was at the stove, cooking.

I ran -- or rather partly-ran, partly-pedaled, partly duck-walked towards the kitchen: because I was sitting on top of a tricycle.

And just outside the entrance to the kitchen, there was a full-length mirror.

So as I passed by, I stopped and turned to my left to take a look.

I saw me:

A plump, strong, healthy, brown little girl; sitting on top of a red-and-white tricycle; dressed in a delicate, pale-yellow, tulle-ruffled dress with short poofy sleeves (it had to have been my birthday or something, it was really pretty and nice).

My eyes were dark, deep-brown; and wide from play and excitement. Taino nose. Natural coily afro hair HUGE and out and floating free in a wild halo of airy softness.

I stuck my tongue out of the side of slightly berry-colored lips.

And after a moment, I grinned wide...

Me.

Hey!

That's me!

YES!!

*n0n* ๐Ÿฅณโœจ PERFECT!!!! โœจ๐Ÿฅณ (โ ๏พ‰โ โ—•โ ใƒฎโ โ—•โ )โ ๏พ‰โ *โ .โ โœง

It was pure joy, learning that about myself -- seeing myself, recognizing myself -- and feeling that who I looked like matched who I was completely; and being so happy with that knowledge.

I remember my mom's voice, full of mirth and surprise, asking, "What in the world are you doing over there?"

I giggled with a squeal of absolute delight and finished running towards her...

....

I want that for EVERYONE.

EVERYONE deserves to feel that way.

To look in the mirror, and feel affirmed and at ease and confident in who they are.

I will never understand those who feel that the answer to the pain and discomfort of trans folk is to "just force them to conform".

Fucking fuck that shit. Pure nonsense!

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More Posts from Thelindenpapers

6 months ago

Some of the abortion funds you can donate to:

Abortion Care Network

The Jane Fund of Central Massachusetts

Whole Woman's Health

Repro Legal Defense Fund

Jane's Due Process

Cobalt Advocates

New Orleans Abortion Fund

Baltimore Abortion Fund

Kansas Abortion Fund

The Afiya Center

Yellowhammer Fund

Lilith Fund

Texas Equal Access Fund

Holler Health Justice

Tampa Bay Abortion Fund

Roe Fund of Oklahoma

New York Abortion Access Fund

Chicago Abortion Fund

6 months ago

btw body horror is stuff that doesnt naturally occur and is used to scare ppl, like extra eyes, animal parts on a human, a mouth opening in the stomach, not. disabled peopleโ€™s bodies lmao.

6 months ago

Humanity is weird

It's mimicking waves and singing with the birds

It's seeing a bunch of poisonous plants and still thinking that you can eat them (and you can)

Humanity is barring your teeth while smiling

It's looking up the sky and thinking "What will come next?"

It's asking about someone else

Humanity is playing with children you don't know and giving a crying stranger a tissue

It's watching over someone, who you know is going to die

And it's still crying about them when it happens

Humanity is weird

Because it's about doing something so strange yet beautiful

6 months ago

Toddlers are so pure. She doesnโ€™t understand that we help her with certain things because sheโ€™s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.