Fuck The Binary - Tumblr Posts
elf androdgyny
@phoenixwithapencil 2024
Yes AND binary trans people are not our enemies. They may sometimes be myopic about their own struggles but ultimately we are on the same side of “fuck compulsory gender”. I think like many things it’s a lack of understanding of a perspective you don’t have that leads to not understanding the support that other group needs.
Some binary trans people need to spend more time learning about nonbinary trans people. Asking when you’re not sure is a great impulse that just needs to be expanded on. Since nonbinary people exist and there is no way to be androgynous according to our current society, you can’t ever be sure, so ask!
No matter how hard I try to “present nonbinary” my diminutive stature, voice tone and body shape leads me to continually get “female”. Even with my prominently displayed they/them pin I get constantly misgendered.
All people need to learn that gender is not binary. I feel being especially disheartened by the lack of understanding from people who should be in your own community. There will always be people who aren’t in the right place to take in perspectives that differ from their own regardless of the community. I also see that some binary trans people are just trying to do for others what they want done for themselves. It’s demoralizing to them to be asked their pronouns when they want to be automatically recognized as their gender, so asking may seem rude.
Hopefully they will come around to understanding that asking is not a sign of someone being skeptical of that person’s gender but rather an acknowledgment that gender is complicated and nuanced so asking is a celebration of our shared disdain for the unfairly narrow definition of gender we currently experience.
binary transgender person: i just use pronouns according to people's gender presentation and ask when i'm not sure.
me: this still doesn't leave space for nonbinary people though because perfect androgyny is impossible. it also doesn't leave space for any gnc people either. me wearing earrings and a dress isn't an invitation to call me she/her. you're still misgendering people.
binary transgender person: how dare nonbinary people speak over trans women??
if your binarity is so fragile that you think us wanting to be recognised and pointing out you're advocating for mass misgendering is "talking over trans women" then i can't help you
and we all know it's code for "how dare these fake transes talk over us real transsexuals?!"
meanwhile binary transgender people constantly use their binary privilege to erase us and silence us, to throw us under the bus so they can get the advantages of cisnormativity. they're not even "talking over us" because we don't even get a proper voice.
Reminder: Cis women can have boyish builds, or muscles, or tall, angular body frames and features (or all three) of their own.
Cis men can have curves or petite builds or soft features (or all three).
People aren't fucking barbie and ken dolls.
They're not cookie cutter. They're not clones.
They come in all kinds of different proportions and shapes and types and sizes! 🎉✨
Reminder:
Transphobia hurts all women, including cis women.
Statistics show that harassment and violence against cis women have increased ever since transphobes started to intensify discrimination against our trans sisters, trans brothers, and trans siblings...
This is because, as people have been encouraged to police and persecute trans folk, it has increased the ways in which people police the bodies, rights, and behaviors of women, and to demonize femininity, across the board.
Look it up.
Little cis girls have been harassed on sports fields, in schools, and on playgrounds for being tomboys and "appearing" to be trans; and some cis women have even been murdered on the mere suspicion of being trans.
The solution is NOT to be even more transphobic and find "better" ways to discriminate. 🙄 That is TRASH.
The solution is to stand firmly against the sexism that stands at the ROOT of homophobia, transphobia, and queerphobia to begin with; by standing against transphobia and discrimination against trans people.
The gender binary isn't real, bioesentiallism blows (not in the good way), and patriarchal structures are not worth defending.
Let people be whatever hue and color and texture of gender they are, stop policing them about it!
Reminder:
If bigots really were "naturally superior", then they wouldn't have to oppress anyone.
It's a shame that their beliefs -- that, "only those who are 'superior' should be able to live and thrive" -- drive them to then have to try to be in a superior position at all times….in order to stroke their own egos, and to soothe the deep insecurities that they themselves have made insurmountable and untenable, by endlessly pursuing vectors of pointless domination in the hopes that they can convince everyone to let them hoard the plentiful resources which they refuse to peacefully share.
The world would be so much better if everyone was allowed to just live, and be who they are, and be allowed to be comfortable with each other; without breaking their bodies and minds and spirits to "earn" the birthright of existence and thriving which the Earth simply offers us for free.
Video Weekend
Forrest Valkai | The Line -- Transphobic Liar Calls In
I'm a cis woman, but the concept of gender euphoria sounds strangely familiar to me.
I get the feeling of being happy and satisfied to be a woman (though, obviously, not happy with the way that some people and some institutions treat me because of my womanhood 😅), on occasion.
I remember the first time that I felt it.
The first time that I realized that I was a girl.
I couldn't have been older than three, though I suspect that I was only two.
I was in the house, playing in the hallway.
Bright sunlight was spilling from the big window above the kitchen counter at the end of the hall, where my mom was at the stove, cooking.
I ran -- or rather partly-ran, partly-pedaled, partly duck-walked towards the kitchen: because I was sitting on top of a tricycle.
And just outside the entrance to the kitchen, there was a full-length mirror.
So as I passed by, I stopped and turned to my left to take a look.
I saw me:
A plump, strong, healthy, brown little girl; sitting on top of a red-and-white tricycle; dressed in a delicate, pale-yellow, tulle-ruffled dress with short poofy sleeves (it had to have been my birthday or something, it was really pretty and nice).
My eyes were dark, deep-brown; and wide from play and excitement. Taino nose. Natural coily afro hair HUGE and out and floating free in a wild halo of airy softness.
I stuck my tongue out of the side of slightly berry-colored lips.
And after a moment, I grinned wide...
Me.
Hey!
That's me!
YES!!
*n0n* 🥳✨ PERFECT!!!! ✨🥳 (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧
It was pure joy, learning that about myself -- seeing myself, recognizing myself -- and feeling that who I looked like matched who I was completely; and being so happy with that knowledge.
I remember my mom's voice, full of mirth and surprise, asking, "What in the world are you doing over there?"
I giggled with a squeal of absolute delight and finished running towards her...
....
I want that for EVERYONE.
EVERYONE deserves to feel that way.
To look in the mirror, and feel affirmed and at ease and confident in who they are.
I will never understand those who feel that the answer to the pain and discomfort of trans folk is to "just force them to conform".
Fucking fuck that shit. Pure nonsense!
Anomalous.
The fluid has no opposite. It is all at once and none at all. There is no mould that can hold it. No binary that can possess it. It is of its own. It is its own master and its own slave. Refusing restraints and chains. Refusing words, hooks and lines. You cannot bait it. You cannot try.
I will not try.
You may want it. Want order. To make sense of the chaos. Establish a standard. You cannot. You will fail. There is no box that it cannot seep through. No bowl it won’t break. No.
So, back off. Step away. Give me back my space. I’ll take my leave. I can see where I’m not wanted. I’ll let you live out your “normal”.
All that I’m not.
adjective: anomalous
deviating from what is standard, normal, or expected.