Someone Explain My Own Logic To Me, Please. I Brushed My Teeth Before Curling Up In Bed For The Night

Someone explain my own logic to me, please. I brushed my teeth before curling up in bed for the night and, while I'm there, I eat an entire package of Sour Patch Kids. What in my pigeon brain was like "Yup, that makes sense!"

I JUST WANT TO HAVE WHITE TEETH, DAMMIT.

Y'all ever just suddenly come up with random shit to say to middle school bullshit?

Like, this is something my 22 year old ass just came up with:

"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

"Actually, it was Adam and Lilith but she wanted to be her own person so hell sounds great."

THE EYES

What is this ad, Tumblr?

pan people are wonderful and deserve the world

I'm no expert but I'm pretty sure that's not a cat, Amazon.