Y'all Ever Just Suddenly Come Up With Random Shit To Say To Middle School Bullshit?

Y'all ever just suddenly come up with random shit to say to middle school bullshit?

Like, this is something my 22 year old ass just came up with:

"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

"Actually, it was Adam and Lilith but she wanted to be her own person so hell sounds great."

I'm gonna start macing people who don't wear masks.

Because we have no idea what self-preservation is

Dear Lactose Intolerant Person, in front of you is a gallon of milk, the key to get- wait! Hold on!

The milk isn’t part of the trap! You were supposed to deliver it to me! The key was in that beehive!

Oh god oh no! There’s no toilet in there! The cleaning bill! That’s carpet!

Why!?

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Can America just... let the deep South be their own country? They're trying to time travel to before LGBTQ+ people had the right to not die.

Hello JK Rowling. Before you is a lesbian couple made up of a trans woman and a cis woman. They are happy. They are watching a movie together and doing cute couples things. Sit through the movie with them without accusing the trans woman of being a rapist and I won’t feed you to a pit of rabid field mice.

Someone explain my own logic to me, please. I brushed my teeth before curling up in bed for the night and, while I'm there, I eat an entire package of Sour Patch Kids. What in my pigeon brain was like "Yup, that makes sense!"

I JUST WANT TO HAVE WHITE TEETH, DAMMIT.