Funny Story Time: My Mom, A Veterinarian, Was Once In A Taxi With A Friend Chatting About A Dream She

Funny story time: My mom, a veterinarian, was once in a taxi with a friend chatting about a dream she had about a snake. The cabbie made a less-than-tasteful remark about how "you know what a snake in a dream really means", to which she responded "actually, this snake was a patient of mine. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."

Today's Google Doodle honors Arthur Wynne's invention of the modern crossword puzzle!

Would you kill him in his bed? Thrust a dagger through his head? I would not, could not, kill the King. I could not do that evil thing.  I would not wed this girl, you see. Now get her to a nunnery.

~ Green Eggs and Hamlet 

Ok tumblr, I know the power of the internet so just hear me out right quick as I ask for a simple favor. See those cereal boxes up there? If you buy any Kellogg’s product with that Free Book logo on it there is a 16 digit code inside your box of cereal. Now, when you get three of those codes together you submit them online and they will send you a free Scholastic book. Now I’m sure you’re wondering why I’m bringing it up, so here goes.

I teach first grade at a school where the kids have little to nothing. Through generous donations (government, three square, various community partners, etc.) the kids get backpacks, clothes, shoes, free breakfast/lunch, and some school supplies. The school is not in the best part of town. I’ve had students who live with grandparents because their own parents are in jail, kids who have parents that don’t have custody over them for various reasons, and so on and so forth. Now I am trying to get my kids to read books, but they literally don’t have any books at home that they can use to practice their reading. Sure they get a library book from the school library but it’s not the same, you know? They don’t own the book, it’s not theirs. 

Here’s where you come in. If you happen to buy one of these specially marked boxes and don’t plan on using the code please send me that code through my ask box. If 60 people on here send me a code I’ll be able to get 20 books, which will easily allow me to get each of my students a brand new book of their own. I used the Fly Guy books above because my kids are currently obsessed with the character and the book has sight words that we’re working on in class. Even if you have no codes, I’d appreciate the signal boost as well.

So, if you happen to get a code please send it my way. I would appreciate it and so would my kids. Heck, if I get 60 codes, that would give me enough to give each of my students a book and I will gladly take a picture to show you how excited they are to get a book. If more codes keep coming, I’ll post up their thank you notes. They’re seven so expect something awesome. Thanks in advance.

I have thought long and hard about the things I would do in order to obtain a superpower that would let me see further into the EM spectrum.

the fact that there are animals who can see colors that i cant which means that there are colors that exist that it is literally impossible for me to envision is such fucking bullshit that i wanna rip open a couch and eat it

cute things to call your girlfriend:

sugar

honey

flour

egg

salt