Tiredbastard59 - Whatever Dumbass Thought Pops Into My Head

Elden Ring Spoilers(Idea for an AU)

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Man what I would give for an AU where every time the Tarnished gets a Great Rune the boss just acts like the Ranni Doll and just starts talking to the Tarnished whenever. Like the comedy of just beating Godrick’s ass then activating his Rune then sitting down and hearing some insecurely delivered old english lines which equate to basically “YOU FUCKER I’M STILL BETTER THAN YOU, BdhajsjDJDJFUCK YOU” and just dealing with that until you get another rune like Rykard’s and Godrick just immediately shuts up about Grafting, like seriously just imagine like

Right after the Rykard fight

Godrick: Ah, a fellow Shardbearer! How are yo-

Rykard, in the most ridiculous snake voice: I shall become one with all, and I shall overthrow the GODS

Godrick, realizing how much that sounds like Grafting:……..Oh fuck did I sound like that?

Then Radahn joins and it’s just Godrick being scared because remember: Godrick literally hid in his castle like a bitch to avoid fighting Radahn. Also Radahn just being like

Radahn: So…. How’d turning into a snake go for ya, Ryke?

Rykard: …This is why Mother didn’t love you Radahn

And then it just GOES FROM THERE

Then Morgott and Mohg join and it’s just turns into Family Time with these fuckers with them ribbing on their nephew a bunch and the Tarnished just has to listen in, then Malenia joins and it’s just a clown car full of these fuckers with one(1) singular brain cell in the form of her which completely goes away in one sentence

Radahn:…. So does running to the other side of the continent not count as defeat in your books orrrr.

And just CHAOS from there.

Then there’s Godrick freaking out when he sees Godfrey is still alive and nerding the fuck out, Morgott and Mohg watching their father mourn for one of them, realizing that he actually did love them, Radahn turning into a WWE fan when Godfrey becomes Hoarah Loux. and all 3 sides of the family(Radagon+Rennala/Marika+Radagon/Godfrey+Marika) all realizing that they all had at least one parent in common when Marika literally turns into Radagon, all of them freaking out when their parent turns into a GODDAMN ELDRITCH BEAST WHICH WIELDS A FLESH SWORD… and then all of them just debating which ending to pick when the Tarnished just gets married to Ranni lol

if i had a nickel every time a boy who was brainwashed under an emperor had an animal companion, used caleb as a fake name to feel comfortable around new people, had scars from their overseers, was the star student of an old man, and had an original name which represented aptitude in one of their skills, id have two nickles! which isnt a lot, but its weird that its happened twice

thinkin bout third wheel wingman orym tonight lads

I love the Paragon's Call not even TRYING to dress up properly for the ball immediately made me dislike them. Like, no proper EFFORT? I cannot believe. I am scandalized. I hate them.

It is my obligation to draw Laura’s character and as per usual, changing her concept as I go through drawing fanarts of her

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