Botanical Book From 1918

Botanical book from 1918 🌼

Journal Entries | A Familiar Sorrow

September 28th

There was another dream tonight, though this one was different. I wasn’t myself. I was someone else—Yueliang. It felt familiar, like slipping into a memory that wasn’t mine. As a shaman, I’ve had experiences with spirits and their lingering emotions, but this... this felt more vivid. More personal. I wasn’t just witnessing it—I was her, feeling her thoughts, her emotions, as if they were my own. I could feel the weight of the brush in her hand, the silk of her robe against my skin. The connection was seamless, like I belonged there.

And then, there was him. Zhongyuan. He startled her—me—but the moment turned from surprise to something deeper. His presence was overwhelming, as if he commanded the very air in the room. I’ve never seen him before, but his face, his eyes—those blood-red eyes—felt hauntingly familiar. Like I’ve known him in another life, or perhaps in the echoes of spirits I’ve connected with in the past. He wasn’t just a figure in a dream. There was something more.

What unsettles me most is how familiar he felt, as if I’ve been waiting to meet him. But why? I’ve never dreamed of him before, never seen him in any visions or spirit work. And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that we are somehow connected, as if our paths have crossed before in ways I can’t explain.

I’ve been possessed by spirits, seen their memories and walked their paths, but this… this was different. This felt like it was meant to happen, like I was supposed to witness this. I don’t know what it means, but I can’t ignore the pull I felt toward him. Toward that life.

Who are you, Zhongyuan? Why do I feel like I’ve always known you?

Journal Entry | October 1st

I had another one of those dreams. But this time, it wasn’t just a dream. I was her again—Yueliang. I felt everything as if it was happening to me. The wind in the village, the warmth of her grandmother’s hand, the crushing weight of fate that hung over every moment of her life. It was almost too real.

Yueliang’s grandmother reminded me so much of Halmeoni (Korean for Grandmother). Blind, but seeing everything. Feeling everything. I never thought about how similar they are until now. Maybe it’s that sense of knowing, that wisdom in their blindness. Yueliang’s Halmeoni saw her future and tried to change it. Does Halmeoni see something about mine? Is that why she’s always been so protective, always pressing me to be more than I am? More than I want to be?

But what hit me the hardest was the choice Yueliang made. She knew the danger. She knew she was walking into the lion’s den when she went to Zhongyuan. But she still did it—because she thought love could change everything. And for a while, it did. But then, just like that, it all fell apart. No matter how strong she was, no matter how much love she had, fate came back with a vengeance. Is that how it always is? Can we really never escape what we’re meant for?

When Yueliang lost control of her body, when she was forced to hurt the one person she wanted to protect... I think that’s what scares me the most. The idea of being used, manipulated by forces I don’t understand. What if something like that happens to me? What if there’s some part of my life or destiny that I can’t control?

And yet… despite it all, Yueliang still believed in love. Even after everything. She prayed for peace. For another chance. For him. I wonder if I could be that strong, or if I’d just crumble under the weight of it all.

I’m not sure what these dreams mean or why I’m having them, but they’re starting to feel less like dreams and more like memories. I’m afraid of what might come next. But a part of me—just a small part—wants to know.

Maybe there’s something I need to learn from Yueliang’s story. Something about love. Or fate. Or maybe about how to fight against what feels inevitable.

I don’t know. But I’ll keep listening.

—Haeseol

Haeseol’s Journal Entry – Present Day

I can’t stop thinking about her. Yueliang, the Radiant Moon.

It was her song I sang at that wedding so many years ago. I didn’t know it then, but now it feels obvious—like something has been pulling me toward her all this time. Her life, her story… it feels so close to mine, as if we’re connected somehow. And maybe we are.

The similarities are hard to ignore.

Yueliang was revered, just like I am. A symbol of something greater—radiance, light, hope. Her people adored her, saw her as their guiding moon, just as my community sees me as a blessing, a figurehead to offer protection and peace. They look to me as if I hold all the answers, as if I can shield them from whatever comes next. But what if I’m just as lost as they are?

And then there’s the opposition. For Yueliang, it was the followers of Zhongyuan, the dark sun of the yin, constantly in conflict with the devotees of her light. For me, it feels the same—though I’m not battling any dark suns or cosmic forces. I’m battling expectations, control, the endless power plays around me that are beyond my grasp. There are people who want me to be something—someone—I’m not. And I’m trapped in the middle, just as Yueliang was.

Is this why I feel so close to her now? Is this why her sadness feels like my own?

She loved deeply, suffered deeply, all because of the role she was forced to play. A goddess, a beacon for others, but who was there for her? Who understood the pain of always having to shine for others, even when your own heart feels dark and empty?

I wonder… is that my fate too? Am I destined to be just like her—forever revered, forever isolated? Or am I more than just a reflection of Yueliang’s story?

I don’t know why I’m drawn to her. I don’t even know how I could be connected to someone so ancient, so divine. But something inside me is stirring, something that feels like recognition. Like my soul remembers something my mind doesn’t.

Could it be that I’m tied to her, this moon goddess? This radiant moon of the yang?

The idea feels impossible, yet undeniable. I’ve always been different. Always felt like there was something more to me, something I couldn’t explain. Could Yueliang be the answer? Could she be the key to understanding what I am?

It’s strange. The more I think about her, the more I see myself in her—revered, yes, but also bound by something larger than myself. There’s no escaping it. No matter how much I try to live my own life, I’m always pulled back into the roles I’m supposed to play. The roles that others have crafted for me. Just like Yueliang.

But if she’s the moon, does that mean I’m destined to be her reflection? Or is there something else, something more?

I have so many questions, and no answers.

All I know is that I feel her sadness. Her longing. Her desire to be free of the chains that bind her to her people, her duties, her fate. And I feel that same longing inside me too.

I want to be free. But can I ever truly be free, if this is the life I was born into?

For now, all I have are questions.

Journal Entry | October 7th

There are spirits I can tolerate—the lost souls, the ones who just want to be heard, to find peace. But then, there are others. Darker, more sinister presences that cling to people like shadows, or seep into the land itself, poisoning entire towns with their malice. These spirits... they're not just angry; they're violent, twisted things that live off the fear and misfortune of the living.

I can see them, and they can see me. That’s the problem. Some of them, when they catch sight of me, grow curious, wondering who I am, why I can see them. They follow me, like wolves circling, deciding whether I’m prey. The more aware ones—those that were human once but twisted into something far worse—talk to me. I’ve heard their threats, their promises of harm. They speak of things they’ve done, how they’ve cursed whole families or destroyed lives. Sometimes they don’t even try to hide it.

Some are puzzled by me, though. “So young,” they say, their voices rasping and dripping with disdain or amusement. They cackle when they realize I’m Ming-Ji’s granddaughter, the next one in line to continue the family’s work. A shaman, just like her, they say, voices filled with an eerie glee. They ask how long I’ll last, how much I can take before I break. Before they get to me, or worse—before I let them get to me. The way they watch me, it's like they’re waiting for the day I falter.

There’s one in particular I’ll never forget. I still feel shivers running down my spine when I think of it. It was... not human, not even close. Its body was elongated, scrawny, like all the flesh had been peeled away, leaving only bone and sinew. Its skin—what little there was of it—was stretched tight, paper-thin. And yet, for something so emaciated, it moved with such precision, like a predator toying with its prey, enjoying the chase before the kill.

Its voice... gods, I’ll never forget it. Nasally, hoarse, like it had been screaming for centuries and lost the ability to speak properly. It whispered in my ear once, when I wasn’t paying attention, too focused on another possession. "I see you, shaman. I know your name. I know your blood. And I'll be waiting."

I can still hear that voice sometimes, echoing in my mind when I least expect it. It never attacked me, not directly, but the way it watched me, the way it toyed with me like I was a piece in some game... I know it’s only biding its time. I’ve dealt with many spirits, but none like this one. None that felt so ancient, so utterly devoid of anything human.

I wonder if my grandmother ever encountered it. I never had the chance to ask her. Maybe she left it for me, like an inheritance I never wanted. All I know is that it’s still out there, lurking, waiting. And I’ll have to face it again.

- Haeseol.

An important lore note from me, in my version, the chiropterans from blood+ are a subspecies of Gorgons and Medusa is their progenitor from greek mythology. Chiropterans as a whole are a female dominated species, with chiropteran Queens as the originals of the species, and considering that the poisonous blood effect between twin sisters turns the other to stone (on top of what their blood does to human males when they are turned into chevailers -- biologically and psychologically) them as the subspecies of gorgons fits especially with the ever present but subtle concept of chiropteran queens being religious icons in and throughout human history.

Refer to this post here to better explain things.

I should also add that through one way or another, they are a product of Medusa and Erebos and I'm going off of Ovid version of Medusa.

good night

### Scene: Late night thoughts and papers

Haeseol sat cross-legged on the floor of her room, a towering stack of textbooks and assignments staring her down like some insurmountable beast. Sighing, she rubbed her temples and glanced at the engagement ring on her finger—the promise ring that still gleamed with a soft, unspoken weight. She twisted it absentmindedly, a bittersweet reminder of everything that had come to a halt. Sixteen, engaged to Shinichi Kozu, her childhood best friend, and yet here she was, buried under homework instead of planning the wedding they'd talked about for years.

Or rather, the wedding they had called off.

Her adoptive parents, Jin-Soo and Ji-Woo Kim, were halfway across the world in Korea, but they still found ways to nag her about her studies. No matter what kind of chaos she was dealing with—whether it was her fame as a revered shaman, the Red Shield keeping tabs on her, or being the subject of secret governmental interest—one thing remained constant: her grades.

“Gotta stay ahead of the game, right?” she muttered to herself, flipping open one of her notebooks. The words blurred for a moment before coming into focus, the overwhelming realization of how far behind she had fallen hitting her. Months of assignments to catch up on. It almost felt like a cruel joke.

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door, followed by the quiet, almost serene presence of Sayaka Inatsu, her unassuming yet formidable bodyguard. Clad in her shrine maiden robes, Sayaka entered the room with a calmness that belied her role. She wasn’t just Haeseol’s protector—she was sent by him. Shinichi Kozu.

Her fiancé.

Or... whatever he was now. The whole situation was complicated.

Sayaka gently placed a tray of tea on the desk next to Haeseol and regarded her with a soft smile. “You should take a break soon. I’ve organized your assignments by subject. You have English and mathematics due tomorrow, and your history paper on Monday.”

“Thanks, Sayaka.” Haeseol sighed, flipping through the assignments that Sayaka had already neatly arranged. It was kind of funny, having a bodyguard who not only protected her from physical threats but also ensured her homework was submitted on time.

Sayaka, as always, had been gentle but firm. If it weren’t for her, Haeseol knew she’d probably be swimming in overdue work. “Do you need help with anything?” Sayaka asked, standing nearby, her hands folded neatly in front of her.

“No, it’s fine,” Haeseol muttered, grabbing her English textbook and flipping it open. “I just... need to focus.” But she wasn’t fooling anyone, least of all herself. Focus was the last thing she had these days. Her mind kept wandering back to Shinichi. Back to Japan. Back to the life they had been planning, one that now seemed distant and almost unreal.

The wedding they’d been talking about for years—it had felt so close, like it was just around the corner. But now... Now, everything had changed. They had both agreed to call it off. Shinichi, ever the composed and understanding religious figure, had accepted it gracefully. He knew better than anyone that the weight of the world was on her shoulders. Still, the thought of it left an ache in her chest. They had grown up together, always thinking they'd end up together. It wasn’t supposed to be this way.

And yet, here she was, sixteen years old, with her wedding on indefinite hiatus, staring down a mountain of schoolwork. The irony wasn’t lost on her.

Sayaka, noticing the faraway look in Haeseol’s eyes, spoke again, her voice gentle but firm. “Master Kozu understands, you know. He wouldn’t want you to be distracted by things beyond your control. Right now, your studies are important.”

Haeseol sighed, pushing her textbooks aside for a moment and leaning back. “I know, I know. It’s just... sometimes it feels like everything’s happening too fast. One moment, I’m just a normal kid, and the next... I’m some kind of public figure, with governments watching me, the Red Shield, the shaman stuff, on top of finding out two weeks ago that THE Captain America is my biological father...”

“And your wedding,” Sayaka finished softly.

Haeseol nodded, her eyes falling back to the ring on her finger. “Yeah. That too.”

Sayaka’s serene smile remained, but there was a flicker of understanding in her eyes. “Your path is a difficult one, but you are not walking it alone.”

“I just wish I could hit the pause button on all of this,” Haeseol said quietly, glancing at the stack of homework. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to be doing half the time.”

Sayaka’s expression softened, and she kneeled next to Haeseol. “That’s why you take it one step at a time. Start with this assignment, and then the next. Your parents and Shinichi want you to succeed, but more than that, they want you to be happy.”

Haeseol nodded again, though the weight on her shoulders didn’t feel any lighter. “I know. I’m just tired of everything piling up, you know?”

Sayaka offered her a reassuring nod and stood, moving toward the door. “You’re strong, Haeseol. Don’t forget that. I’ll be back in a little while to check on you.” With that, she slipped out of the room, leaving Haeseol alone with her thoughts and her mountain of schoolwork.

Haeseol leaned her head back against the wall, staring up at the ceiling. Strong. That’s what everyone kept telling her. But even strong people got tired, right?

She picked up her pen, ready to tackle her English homework. At least if she could stay ahead of her assignments, that would be one thing in her life she could control. And maybe, just maybe, everything else would fall into place eventually.

But for now, there was a pile of papers to get through.