PHONING... To All The Boys.

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ To All The Boys.

Chronicles of the crumpled pages of poetry detailing past attempts at love can be found in the trash of your bedroom where you’re not a woman, but a girl instead. Through all the desperate yearning for love, only one flame was strong enough to make it out.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 2k ✧ angst , fluff , txt ot5 x reader

Dear Huening Kai,

I’m not really sure how to start this letter. I hope this finds you well seems devastatingly distant and cold, like I’m writing a business letter. I never wrote you a letter before, everything that we shared had been in the form of hushed whispers in the back of the classroom. Notes, surely I had written hundreds through the years. Eventually though, your desk no longer belonged to you and my notes found their place in the trash.

The final note, just as short as all the others had three words. I’m sure that you can guess what they were. My hands were clammy and the lettering was shaky but even still, I held that note close to my heart. I waited much longer than I should have— after the first week it should have been obvious that you weren’t returning to our sacred corner of the world.

I’m not sure why I’m writing this now after having crumpled that note away, hidden away inside of that class binder you’d scribbled on. The doodles made the both of us laugh in the moment but looking at them now just makes me miss our schooldays.

Anyways, these are the things that I want for you that I never got to tell you.

I want you to be happy. I want someone to know the warmth of your smile and to feel the way I did when I was in your presence. I’m sure you haven’t thought of me at all since you left but you saved my life back then by being my friend. I hope that I could have made you as happy as you made me.

When school was absolutely dreadful, we found each other. When everyone picked me last, you had always sought me out first. Maybe that’s why I believed you were the first boy I ever loved.

I want you to know how happy you made my years and though your leaving really did hurt me, in the end, I was better for it. I don't know if what we had was just puppy love, but if it wasn't, then I hope to never to fall deeper in love than I was with you.

Because of you, I know I’m too fragile to bear it.

My love has abandoned me, do with that what you will.

Love,

From, Y/N.

Dear Kang Taehyun,

Do you remember our first day? When I first saw you I was convinced you would be the romantic lead to finally convince me to take another chance at love. When we first spoke, I quickly came to realize that you weren’t— you were yourself and somehow, that was worse. Because I loved you more than any idealized version of you I had ever known.

Anyways, that first night the fog lifted and all around us were trees linking hands, like children playing. It reminded me of a boy I had known in my youth and suddenly I was 16 years old again desperately holding my feelings to my chest, afraid to speak as if the moment would slip away once more.

And somewhere along the way, messy confessions of admiration written on ripped out binder paper became carefully lettered confessions on parchment paper, sealed beautifully with wax only to never be opened.

Our first night, when you stood by the door, conflicted, as I sat there with my knees tucked under my chin, smiling. Then through the window, over the horizon was the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen. Soon, your breath was on my neck as compliments spilled from your lips in a whisper. When I shied away from your touch, the first boy to touch me, you told me I looked lovely and for the first time in my life: I had felt it.

I sometimes think about the fragility of glass— ofbroken shards tearing against soft skin. The prickly feeling of tears as you’d stare down at the red glossy blood beginning to seep out.

It was almost painful how you respected me— how you accepted my rejections with a gentle smile.

And in truth, it is the transparency of the glass that kills you. The pain of seeing through to something you can never quite touch and the sting that followed after.

Your arms around my waist, the cold wind coming through the window howled as the sea whispered with the scent of sea salt filling the room. That night had felt so intimate and special to me, how welcoming you had been to my fear.

When the morning came, you were off and the sea continued to whisper your name.

Come back to me.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear Choi Beomgyu,

I gave you the best of me— the year, the days, the hours. Precious little, in turn you’d given, like nutrients for a wilting flower. A last minute attempt at nurturing a broken heart. It had worked for the time. For that, I’m grateful.

I never said those three words to you— I wasn’t sure if I would be able to bring myself to. For anytime I had gotten close— to this idea of love— it had slipped away just beyond my reach.

I want you to remember my lips beneath your fingers and how you told me things you never told another soul.

Always the mood maker on camera, those glimpses into your soul that you had provided me were more special than you could have ever imagined.

Every moment between us had been captured with your camera. Now, I can’t recall if I had ever looked into your eyes without that thing in my face. For the sake of the memories, I let you have it. How dearly you loved that camera, I eventually hoped that could be me.

And those rare moments without it, on the quiet hood of your car as we sat looking up toward the sky were the ones I would remember forever. How you traced circles into my back as effortlessly as you would change the camera’s lens.

And my heart would skip at the thought that you were maybe, just maybe, beginning to know every inch of me as much as you knew that camera.

I want you to know that I have kept sacred everything you had entrusted in me and I always will.

Now I do wonder if there will be a morning when you'll wake up missing me as much as I missed miss you. I guiltily found myself hoping that some incident in your life would have finally taught you the value of my worth, that some poor girl much stronger than me would say the words that I longed to and mean it for the moment— only to break your heart in the end.

And you would feel a surge of longing, when you remember how I was good to you.

If that day ever comes then I hope you will look for me. I hope you will look with the kind of conviction that you’d always shown me, searching for me in every passing face.

Because I want to be found again. And I hope it’s you and the secrets you shared who find me.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear Choi Soobin,

Have you forgotten me?

Please tell me what you've heard, in passing between mutual friends’ gatherings and in memories dug up by algorithms beyond your control.

I guard your memory jealously because with you I'd placed my worth. Because after losing so much— you seemed so perfect. I was ready to give it all up. Everything.

I was officially half out of my mind with love.

And I didn't think twice about what I was throwing into the fire, as long as I could keep it burning for just another minute— if only I was allowed to sit awhile longer beside its pale glow with my head on your shoulder while your gentle hums lured me to sleep.

That was how I loved you in the end. With my body cold and shuddering, empty hands over smoldering ash, counting out the minutes for your return.

And eventually, like all the love before, I had to realize that you weren’t coming back.

There I sat by the sad pile of ash only accompanied by a lukewarm, bitter tasting beer. You had complained that my wine was much too sharp.

Even with you gone I found myself trying to cater towards your taste. Yet despite the arguments we would have, mostly at my own fault, I prayed for the moments you would come back and drag me back home with you.

You showed me the particular kind of suffering to be experienced when you love something so deeply that you end up burning yourself too close to the flame. A tender sacrifice.

Like bent and broken feet of a dancing ballerina, it was in every considered step I took in the opposite direction of you.

If I ever felt like home to you, it was because you were safe with me. I want you to know that most of all.

Maybe in another time, I could have been your home. I don’t know anymore.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear Choi Yeonjun,

It was in you that I had found everything I ever loved before and more, all at once.

Everything I had lost returned to me once more as if to remind me of what I would never have. Or maybe you were sent to give me hope again.

It was in the pained silence, comparable only to the lost song of a mermaid, I had come to terms with the fact that it was the first option.

At the place where you found me, under the half-moon and its half-light of the park. You said, if only you had met me there that night. Maybe we could have found our way. If we had met later on as more developed versions of ourselves, we could have stood a chance.

And I laughed, with no humor at all. Because at our age, it felt I had no more time to wait.

I learned something about sadness after that day, you ruffling my hair to comfort me before walking away without a goodbye or see you soon.

You showed me insanity like an open window, seven storeys high as I stared to the ground far below, teetering on the edge. And it was just as terrible and as beautiful as you and I.

Because I loved you— and I had finally said it, after so many years of chasing. I admitted to you: you were my everything.

With your arm around my shoulder as you entertained a group of people I couldn’t bother to remember the names of, I found myself looking up at you with pure adoration.

Suave and cool, you seemed to be everything love had told me I needed. Because with you, I was revered as well. Even to everyone around you: to be loved by you, I must have been special.

When your face fell at my confession, guilt evident on your face— I came to realize I must not have been special enough.

And you said pure bliss was a storm cloud, just before the rain would burst into the night sky, like a thousand aquatic stars-and not one single moment before.

And you were right. You were right about it all.

Love

From, Y/N.

Dear, ▇▇▇▇

There were letters that I had wrote you that I gave up sending, long before I stopped writing. I don't remember their contents, but I can recall with absolute clarity, your name scrawled across the pages.

I could never quite contain you to those messy sheets of ink. I couldn’t stop you from overtaking everything else, writing for hours on end only to feel overwhelmed all over again at the building tower of papers in the trash.

Because any other letters written to all the boys I had loved before were never quite as visceral as yours.

I wrote your name over and over— on torn scraps of paper, on binders and on the back of my wrists. On mirrors as I stared back at myself, eyes puffy and wide with tears.

And I carved it like sacred markings into trees and thought of adding my own, only to realize how utterly and pathetically in love I must have seemed.

Passersby in the park would smile and whisper behind their hands: how beautiful was a girl in love?

To have carved your name into the trees and the tops of tabletops, you must have been so incredibly special. How lucky you were to be loved by me, they must have thought.

Sometimes when I read a book, parts will lift from the pages in an anagram of your name. The words on the page would move themselves around, shuffling in some twisted dance to fade into you. Like a code to remind me it's not over. It was never over.

And in the end, I find myself returning to you. Only you. In this first letter: the one that I’ll finally send, I’m lending my heart to you in hopes you’ll return to me.

Because as I was, and as I am— as I will always be,

I am completely and utterly yours.

And so I am sending this: baring my soul and heart to you. It has been beaten and bruised after all this time.

All I can hope is that you can learn to become very, very careful with this fragile heart. And in turn I will reflect all of the pain I have experienced throughout these years onto you, as it has been purified into this new form of love.

I’ll be waiting at our spot. Come find me.

Love, your Y/N.

Happy 5 year anniversary, my TXT. ♥︎

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ jet lag.

Late nights with Beomgyu returning from trips always seemed to leave the two of you in a weird state of sentimentality.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff

When Beomgyu was away, there were countless questions that lingered in your mind.

Did he think of you on airplanes? With his headphones snug around his ears and the clouds below?

Did he think of your lips as he was exploring new territory— traveling against the turn of the planet, did it take him back to your bedroom?

These were questions you’d never burden him with the pressure of answering so soon, though you wished he would.

What you did know was that you thought of him— always, you thought of him.

You thought of him on airplanes, in thoughts that went a million miles an hour. Over towers made of tin and toy towns filled with figures you’d never know.

Nothing felt real above the ground, your head as dizzy as the first time he kissed you.

You wondered if he thought of the past, in the early morning light when he would wake up next to some stranger, wondering why he didn’t feel a thing.

No one as comparable to what the two of you shared now.

In truth, you thought of the past yourself.

In every bar room and bedroom where you were forced into conversation or giving away parts of yourself to partners who didn’t deserve you— you missed him.

Even without knowing him back then, your heart missed him.

Although these thoughts of the past were shameful to most, never once did you find yourself embarrassed of it all. He never gave you any reason to.

The memories of being tangled in bedsheets with lovers you can’t recall the names of only served as a reminder now.

Never have you been loved as wholly as you were now.

A love in its’ very early stages has somehow given you this feeling of permanence.

These questions and thoughts of what his mind would conjure up in your absence only made you more anxious to see him next.

Teasing texts and photo updates from his travels had you checking your phone, giddy eyes gleaming with excitement.

You wonder if he thought of you in cars. When every turn they took was driving the two of you further apart.

The distance always growing.

Did every road sign pleading him to take care, remind him of how much you wanted him, how deeply he was loved?

The signs issuing out warnings of propriety and setting in place the rules to keep him in check, almost scolding him for leaving.

And staring out the window, miles away from you— Beomgyu found himself thinking of you on the roads that would stretch into the horizon.

On roundabouts and signs that kept telling him that they were going in the wrong direction.

That he was going in the wrong direction: away from you.

In the car, headphones playing a song you’d mentioned in passing— he hoped that you thought of him as much as he thought of you.

Everything was still so fresh between the two of you. There was so much uncovered ground that the two of you desperately wanted to explore together, toeing and dancing on the line of it all, hand in hand.

No matter how many days had passed, your minds drifted back to each other.

In the kitchen of your apartment, humming a song that you’d began to associate with him in your current ‘honeymoon phase’ the thoughts resurfaced once more.

You hoped that every step would bring him closer, that every dead end was a messenger, willing him to turn back around, reminding him when it was time to come home.

The sound of a key turning in the doorway would have made you jump had it not been for you noticing the footsteps leading up to it. His footsteps, a sound newly memorized.

The humming never stopped, even as the sound of tired shuffling and wheels rolling on the wooden floor approached.

The suitcase was quickly discarded in the hallway, hands making their way around your waist and his breath against your neck.

Pausing, you placed the dish you were working on in the sink. “You’re back,” you said quietly.

Before he could respond, a yawn escaped his lips.

You chuckled, grabbing his hands and placing them at his sides as you turned. He frowned for a moment before you faced him, taking his headphones off from around his neck.

Gently, you placed a kiss to his lips. He chased you for more as you pulled away, only for you to place a finger against his pout.

“Let’s go to bed.” Too tired to argue, he nodded.

You locked your fingers with his, gently pulling him toward your bedroom. Without bothering to shed his coat, he sat down.

The nagging look you gave him had him letting out a huff before he shook it off, tossing it to the floor.

While he shed his layers, you went back to the hallway to grab his suitcase and wheel it in the safety of the room.

“I barely know you,” he said, voice heavy with sleep.

Beomgyu already had a large amount of clothes he had left at your apartment, you decided that you would unpack his things for him later.

“You know me well enough.” You said quietly, sitting down onto the bed next to him.

His eyes were heavy, barely being able to keep them awake. Despite this, he widened them as much as he could in an attempt to stay awake. To savor the moments with you.

“I don't know your favorite color or how you like your coffee.” He continued.

“I don’t think I’m very picky when it comes to colors— I like pink flowers though, if that’s what you’re asking.” Your answer was teasing as you gently tapped his nose.

The small smile he gave you as his eyes followed your finger made your heart flutter.

“I’m just saying, we should know these things.”

Beomgyu, currently fighting to stay awake for the sake of spending time with you was much different than his usual self.

“We’ll learn,”

You found yourself loving both versions all the same.

“Plus, I know Toto. I think that’s a start.

The mention of his beloved parrot had him rolling his eyes, recalling the memory of the first time he had shown you him.

Terrified as the birds’ claw sunk into your arm, you could barely bring yourself to make eye contact with it.

He always laughed at you for that.

“What about what keeps you up at night or the lullabies that sing you to sleep?”

You tilted your head to the side, fixing your position on the bed as you motioned for him to lie down.

“No one has ever sang me lullabies.”

Soon his head was in your lap as you gently brushed his hair out of his eyes.

“Do you want me to?”

“Depends, do you want to?”

He paused for a moment, thinking over the idea. It seemed a bit embarrassing but for you, he’d do it.

“Well,” he began.

“I don't know a thing about the first guy you loved, why you stopped loving him or if you still do…”

As he looked up at you with his eyes that held the stars even in the darkness, you smiled.

“You don’t ever have to worry about that now.”

There was a comfortable silence and a few moments in as you leaned your head back with a deep breath, you wondered if he had fallen asleep.

Before you could check, he started again.

You continued to stare at the dark ceiling.

“I don't know how many cells you’re made of or if they have any idea that they’re part of something so unimaginably perfect.”

As the blood rushed to your head and you found yourself inevitably dizzy at his confession, you closed your eyes and hummed.

Maybe it was an attempt to calm the swelling of your heart.

“I don’t know any of that about you, either.” You started.

Even in the darkness, his eyes followed your every move as if he was in a trance.

Maybe it was due to the fact that he was that tired or maybe it was because he was realizing that he was in love.

“We may not have a clue about any of these things yet, but this—” you placed your hand on his chest, over his vulnerable heart. “This we know.”

Somehow with that he felt all of the questions he had were stilled, his heart beating in the palm of your hand.

“…You’re right. We have time.”

The comfortable silence returned as your hands found their way into his hair once again, running through it and occasionally massaging shapes to his skin.

And as his eyes collapsed heavy with exhaustion, burying his face against the warmth of your body, it was your hand holding his heart that brought him home.

“Goodnight, Gyu.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ strangers in the dark.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 3k ✧ angst , fluff

After so many promises and plans that had fallen through, you found your heart couldn’t take anymore empty words. In this realization, you found yourself.

That night, you made a promise to distance yourself. Although he never confronted you about it, you could see it on his face that he knew.

With each passing day, his smile grew smaller and smaller until eventually it was left to its’ default state.

When you had decided to leave, bag stuffed with your most precious items, it had become obvious you didn’t intend on coming back.

In truth, Beomgyu grew a bit bitter at this— to let someone into his life completely only for them to come in and leave him feeling robbed.

It was neither of your faults, he tried to convince himself.

You both knew that wasn’t true.

The two of you had fallen in love through screens, through satellites that carried your words across the aching void.

An all consuming void put between the two of you by a cruel twist of fate when everything was seemingly going so well.

Night after night, you spoke about hands on bodies and lips on skin. How your dreams were filled with the memory of each other and how it was just almost as good as the real thing.

And after the silence, you would think of all the girls made of flesh and bone within his arm’s reach.

Girls far away from the place you two had grown up— girls much more experienced and well versed in the world.

It was through that screen you learned that to love someone completely was to learn from them until their traits become your own.

Texting patterns begin to change and you find yourself repeating things you’d originally never said.

There was many things he had stolen from you besides your heart. Stealing pieces of you like a thief until you became nameless in his memory.

It wasn’t hard to believe that things had to change, looking back you found yourself incredibly stupid.

The seasons changed and your heart flipped with the anticipation that maybe, just maybe, you would finally be able to spend them together— any one, you weren’t picky.

Completely stupid and gullible to believe things could last with someone like him. Someone so otherworldly.

You wondered how you could be so afraid of losing something that was no longer yours.

People changed as well, you knew. Yet he always seemed the same. Maybe that was more painful to acknowledge— that he had never changed and he remained the same boy you had fallen in love with running down school hallways.

But the thing is you knew was that you still wanted to be with him because forever and always in your heart, he remained that boy you fell in love with in the safety of his bed. Incense on vinyls shelves be damned. You never loved the gentle strumming of the guitar more.

Despite the glowing screens growing to burn your eyes through the darkness until you couldn’t keep them open anymore.

Despite the undeniable fact that he had become something— someone so much bigger than himself at 15.

You never thought about it in the moment, how neither of you had said goodbye to the other. Without any words you had shared one knowing glance from the doorway.

Desperately you wanted him to reach out to you, to say something that would make you stay. To make another promises that you knew he couldn’t keep.

In loving him so deeply, being apart from him almost hurt as badly as being with him.

The rust that grew between telephones brought you to a new realization: one that had nausea bubbling deep down inside of you.

It was worse to be nothing with him than to have him at all.

Neither of you had called the other, not attempting any contact no matter how badly the two of you wanted to hear each other’s voice.

How could you go from calling someone everyday to not remembering the last digit of their number?

The amount of times you thought about that night since could be counted on your hands, pushing the memory far into the past with the desperate refusal to dig it up.

Because you had found that night, crying in your car with your head in your hands that with time: no matter how many times you went over it, there was never a solution for the two of you.

You could run back inside, tell him that it was all some sort of prank. And you knew that he would laugh along even though he knew it wasn’t true.

It was after that you worried about. Would it have just been the same? You were sure that the two of you would fall into the same pattern.

Confessions of loneliness and promises of company would be echoed over and over, the two of you swearing to the other that you would try.

Maybe the few times you were together you would make the most of it, claiming to make up for lost time before he was inevitably whisked away to the airport again to fly out and have experiences you could only dream of.

Sometimes during those times you kicked around with bliss and he would take your foot into his hand and kiss the tips of your feet. A small playful gesture that made you stick out your tongue in some mangled expression of disgust. And he’d just laugh, glad to have you at all.

But when he would be gone in the early mornings and you wouldn’t hear from him until he fell asleep next to you again that night and you knew that those moments could never last.

Even though you knew it wasn’t his fault— his job was incredibly demanding of him, after all, you still found yourself growing to resent him a bit. How completely unfair you had been to your love.

Despite that, you couldn’t let go of him.

For some reason, his mouth was always so specific. He always knew how to hurt you with it, in subtle ways.

“Your lips taste like coffee,”

“Bitter?”

“No, sweet.”

Whenever you would say that, he’d scrunch his nose and call you a loser: always endearingly. And when he used to kiss you, you found yourself never wanting to give yourself to another.

Now any lips you met felt tainted.

Bitter with the lust of superficial attraction.

These flings had you convinced that he had ruined your sense of touch because all you could ever feel was him and the faint scent of coffee.

As winter gave way to summer, the dust motes dancing in the sunlight blurred into pixels, and you gave your heart to a photograph.

The edges were bent from being tucked away into bags and drawers, places you swore you’d never look again only to stumble upon it months later when you swear that you’re finally healing and you find yourself crumbling all over again.

Did the boy in the photograph exist still? Surely he was more mature, maybe he was cooler.

Maybe he made sure to match his socks now and maybe the playlist once named after you had remained untouched.

If you wanted to, a quick search engine could give you all of the answers you desperately needed but you knew the harm would outweigh the good.

You wondered if he was taking care of himself properly, eating as much as he’d promised. You wondered if the same songs remained on his favorite playlist or if they too grew bitter to hear with time.

And everything in you screamed at you to call him. As the numbers grew fuzzy, uncertainty taking over as you’d trail off and your fingers hovered over the button.

You knew that you shouldn't have but just when you’d pull away, the memory of a boy brought you back to the idea. Sitting, finger shaking over the button.

The memory of a boy sitting at a bus stop, large headphones providing an extra barrier for his ears to hide in underneath his hair.

From the side, for a moment, he almost looked like Beomgyu.

And as the bus pulled up, the puddle of rain water splashing over the curb and onto your new shoes. There was an ache as you hoped, hoping for something.

Then, the boy looked up and the ache in your heart was replaced with one of disappointment and the feeling of wet socks.

It was quite ironic that these encounters had always happened when it came to your means of transportation.

A boy across the train, head down as he was off in his own land dreaming of something. You almost craned your neck to look over his neighbors and see if maybe, just maybe, it was him.

In the end, the thought of being caught sent a shiver of embarrassment down your spine and your pride overtook any sense of hope as you kept your own head low instead.

It was these boys that had brought you back to him, these and many more than didn’t share any similarities with him at all.

Because even after all the time apart, you searched for parts of him in every one. Everything in you led back to him.

Suddenly, no one had better taste than him.

You found yourself growing grotesquely optimistic at the sight of his favorite snacks, only for them to grimace and tell you that theirs are surely better.

In the car, playing a song he had always loved, only for them to turn the volume down.

‘So I can hear you better.’ They’d say.

You’re sure it was to quiet your humming.

Maybe it was because he was in everything, always that you found yourself fighting to break that promise.

Finally, for a moment, allowing yourself to think back on the night you left. To feel the ache of regret that had always been lingering.

And so you broke your promise, the line ringing to a number that may not even connect to him anymore.

In the late night, calling a stranger in the dark.

“…Y/N?” Your breath hitched at his voice— a confirmation that you hadn’t forgotten his number. That you hadn’t forgotten the most minuscule and important parts of him.

“You— hi. Hi.” Behind the screen you slapped yourself for the word. After so much time had passed, that was all you could bring yourself to say.

Beomgyu propped himself up on his elbow, the neon light of his alarm clock flashing 3:30 AM.

“Do you know how l—” the tired yet teasing tone in his voice was prominent as you scrambled to bring something else up, embarrassment increasing by the second.

Because you were a fool to disturb him so late, when you knew he loved sleeping more than he ever loved you.

“Sorry, sorry. Just…”

There was silence as he waited for you to continue.

You hated the sound of your own shaky breaths.

“…How was your day?”

And to your relief, you heard him chuckle.

“Really? That’s the first thing you say after hi?”

Still tense, you attempted to loosen yourself up as you leaned back into bed.

He was— you imagined— lying down on his arm in bed, tangled in that gray and white patterned blanket that you swore you hated because it was ‘so bland’.

You’d rather die than tell him you bought that same patterned comforter just last week.

“Well… we haven’t talked in a while.”

“8 months, actually.”

You smiled.

“You counted?”

“Does it matter?”

And like it always did, the doubt came crashing down over your head as you sat upright.

As if that would snap you out of it. As if that would somehow distract you from the glowing rays of your phone— from his voice.

“…I can’t remember your laugh. In only 8 months.”

Beomgyu hummed, his voice groggy as he spoke. “…Really? Maybe I didn’t laugh at you much then, because I remember yours.”

You shook your head, “you were always funnier than me.”

The fact that he was entertaining you without explicitly asking what you wanted, you found yourself grateful for the soft spot he seemed to still hold for you.

Because you knew if it were anyone else, he’d be annoyed.

“I miss all the screw ups we had,” you admitted.

“I miss getting angry at you— I hope you know that you never deserved it but… I still miss it. I miss feeling something for someone. For you.”

Despite how late it was, your voice had him following your every word as he waited for the final confession that he wanted to hear.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had. Probably ever will have. I’m…” you tried your best to cry, realizing how completely unfair that would be to him.

How it would destroy him all over again as you did months before, walking out that door, knowing that he’d break his back to make you smile.

“Even when we’re miles away, I knew you’d still want me. I never really… acknowledged how kind you were to me. How loyal you were. Even when I was acting completely irrational because of the distance you were so, so patient.”

For Beomgyu, the compliments felt hollow. Not stemming from the idea that you didn’t mean them— he knew that you did, the sincerity in your voice was hard to miss.

But it was because he couldn’t believe them himself.

Beomgyu was sure that there was more he could have done to satisfy you, to give you what he knew you deserved.

Maybe if he had worked harder, the company would afford him a more flexible schedule and he would have had more free time to devote to you.

It was something the two of you would have argued about before and it seems, still argue about now, yet with time it seems that you’ve traded perspectives.

“No one else, just you.”

“…just me.”

Anxiously, you picked at your nails. It was a habit that you had picked up recently, one you knew you’d never really kick on your own.

There was a scale in your mind weighing the options. You could continue to dance around the topic of that thing you had once shared, briefly, in passing or you could come clean.

“…What did you think when you saw my face for the first time?”

He laughed again, seeming to grow more into his usual self (or the part of his ‘self’ that you remembered— the part of him that you loved).

“So that’s why you called? I didn’t realize you were such a narcissist.” Those words hurt, though you deserved them.

“Can you just entertain me, Gyu? Please?”

The desperation in your voice along with the slight waver had him breathing in, his own breath hitching just for a moment.

The old nickname almost made him smile as he covered his mouth with a yawn.

One thing he hated was being woken up, especially so early and yet somehow, for some reason, he still agreed.

“I think it felt like something was going to end,”

“Like some sort of foreshadowing?”

“Or, something was gonna begin again.”

“How does that work?” He laughed again, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes once more.

“I didn’t know what it was, but I knew from the moment I saw you that it was the end of boredom forever.”

For the first time since you had left, you felt your heart strings being tugged like the strings of his guitar.

Unlike the music he once played for you so skillfully, nothing played this time and you were left with the deafening silence.

In that silence, you had come to face the exact thing that you were afraid of.

You loved him for saying that. And for the intermittent years that the two of you spent entangled, you knew that he loved you back.

Beomgyu had always loved you in his own way. When he promised his time and attention to you— he always meant it.

Whether he could follow through with it didn’t matter because in the end: he wanted to.

Desperately he wanted to give to you what he knew you deserved.

And by letting you walk out that night, he believed that was what he had done.

In the end, there was always love.

Then came the crossed wires, the signal jam.

The static that grew between the two of you was dull, murmuring protest. And you would question if there were others just like you, who had found themselves caught in his orbit.

Those girls so close to him you found yourself envious of, though he never spared them a second glance. Were their worlds revolving around him as well? It was hard to believe that they weren’t.

Whether you were just another celestial body, sent up from the ground; when the moon—the original satellite— was the only one he saw from where he was standing.

In the quiet of the night, he closed his eyes as he desperately wished on that satellite.

And you wished too.

Because you loved him, in the way you walk a tightrope. In the way people learn to fall asleep in a war zone.

You could ask why so many times, but you would never get an answer. And that is when the words would come.

“I’m sorry I called so late,” you started.

“It’s okay—”

“I’m sorry for everything, Beomgyu. Really, I—“

Before you could begin to express all of your regrets to him, his voice cut you off. Gentle and just as dreamy as your misty memory remembered it.

“Y/N. It’s okay.”

And without asking again, you decided to trust him enough to believe him.

The worry you had that you were maybe too late because you didn’t know how to talk to him washed away.

Because you didn’t know how to ask him if he was okay— didn’t know how to tell him you were so afraid of losing him until he lost you.

And unknowingly, with the press of a single button, you had calmed his worries too.

Providing him the chance to tell you all the things he never could.

And so he did, sitting up in his bed and talking into his phone in a hushed tone, away from prying ears just how you had many nights before across countries and states.

The night that he told you how much light had left his life when you were no longer part of it.

How he just hoped you realized how much you meant to him, always.

“I was sad that you were gone but I couldn’t be angry. I just wished that I could remind you of how beautiful you are, in case you forgot.”

A reminder he always echoed to you in those days, worshipping every inch of you. ‘From your head to your toes.’

And his smile was so mischievous, as if encouraging you to argue back so he could convince you all over again.

“I never wanted you to think I gave up on you, Y/N. So I'm sorry I haven't told you in so long.”

“Told me..?”

You found yourself wishing that he would crack some jokes to ease the situation instead, but he wouldn’t. He had always been so unusually serious when it came to comforting you.

“That I will never give up on you. My arms are wide open. There’s always a place for you here.”

In the same fashion that he always knew how to break you— he always seemed to know how to put you back together again.

With his love that was so teasingly mean to your poor bruised heart, he’d patch you up better than anyone ever could have.

“I thought about calling you so many times. I’m sorry I took so long. I think I.. I think I was scared.”

“Of me?” He asked jokingly.

“Yes.” You answered honestly.

Running away from him, you had given so much to things that weren't worth your time.

When all along, it was the one loved that you should have carried.

And all bitterness that grew overtime was now directed towards yourself. Because he had never given up on you— it was you who had given up on him.

It was him who broke the silence.

“Last night, I dreamed we did our laundry together.”

The abrupt confession has you laughing, especially when you recalled the days you actually had done your laundry together.

Washing machine bubbles overflowing as you slipped around on soapy suds, trying to clean up the mess he had made.

Eventually, he decided to stick to being your company sitting next to you as he watched you fold.

“You did?”

And he thought of the way you organized things, folding the clothes with such care and separating them into piles secluded by color.

How you’d throw the pair of socks that you just washed at his face as you told him to change into a matching pair because nothing irritated you more than the hole in his sock.

“When I woke up, I felt sad that it couldn’t happen anymore.”

And you wanted to ask why it couldn’t, but you knew that wasn’t your place anymore.

When the two of you were in love, there was nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. Over the phone, over the distance.

The presence was felt through a voice heard and a screen held.

Despite the dead phone lines, your souls didn’t have internal clocks or calendars, nor did they understand the notion of time or distance. They only knew that it felt right to be with one another.

Maybe that was why you had been searching for him all along, in every passing train window and the lyrics of every song.

That was always the reason why you missed him so much when he wasn’t there— even if he was only in the very next room.

And the even greater distance you had put between the two of you seemed to serve as a lesson.

Your soul would always feel his absence—it just doesn’t realize that the separation is temporary.

Hesitantly, you look down at your phone to the time. Half of you had the heart to ignore it, as selfish as that was. It was getting later into the morning and soon, Beomgyu would have to be up for his daily activities.

“I should go.” You said awkwardly, cursing yourself for never being clever enough and being so utterly predictable.

He hummed, “can I ask you something first?”

You found yourself smiling at the idea that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to hang up as much as you did. For the night, you let yourself believe in that.

“Anything.”

“Why is it every time we say good night, it feels like goodbye?”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s not say goodnight then. Let’s just fall asleep like this.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ yeonjun's song.] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief.

Catching Yeonjun’s eyes, a smile made its way onto your face as you motioned for him to come over.

Despite trying his best to act cool, it was obvious how excited he was by how quickly he chucked his panda plush at Kai and hustled over to you with a fist pump to the air.

“Hell yeah!”

His eagerness made you laugh, nerves subsided for the moment as the two of you stepped onto the open-air gondola, the familiar feeling of anticipation creeping up on you.

Yeonjun smiled at you as the attendant secured the safety bars and gave the two of you a friendly wink.

Embarrassed, you looked to your other friends who gave you both a thumbs up with toothy grins. “Ah… I’m not living this down, am I?”

Yeonjun gave you a confused look, a pout present on his lips. “What’s there to live down?”

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent and you laughed nervously.

In regard to all of his friendly flirting, you tried your best not to fall for it but it had become increasingly hard as the years passed.

You wondered if your friends had picked up on that.

“Nothing…” your voice trailed off, wondering if he had picked up on it.

As the two of you were raised higher and higher, the world continued to move on down below you.

The sounds of music came up to meet you both and fill the silence, mixing with the gentle creaking of the ferris wheel as it turned.

“I missed you, Y/N.”

“Hm? You’ve been with us all night, Junnie.” The nickname made his cheeks flush as he prayed that you didn’t notice, clearing his throat.

“I mean, I invited you because I wanted to spend time with you but I know it’s been a lot for you. I hope you’re not mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad…?” Your voice trailed off, trying to understand what he had meant.

It didn’t take long before you came up with a theory, a small smile making its’ way onto your face as he avoided eye contact.

“Are you jealous, Yeonjun?”

After so many years of smooth talk and cheesy pick up lines, you had to admit that it was cute to see him a bit shaken simply due to not getting much attention from you.

Yeonjun groaned, “do you have to ask it like that? I’m not jealous.” He smiled, turning to you.

“Do you want me to be jealous?” His playful demeanor was back in no time and you hummed, tapping your chin gently in a display of pretend deep thinking.

“Hm… do I?” Your playing along was enough to make him scrunch his noise as he leaned in.

You jumped slightly in surprise and he laughed, “I was just gonna whisper something to you.”

“A little warning next time?”

Yeonjun mocked your action from earlier, tapping his chin gently before shaking his head.

“Hm… no!”

“Rude…” you mumbled, looking away.

“Well, since you won’t let me whisper it,” he started.

“I love you!” The carriage shook as you jumped again, heart following suite as your hands found their home over his mouth.

You shot him a glare and looked around, as if someone could have heard that from how high you were.

Yeonjun laughed as he pried your hands off of his mouth and your cheeks burned in embarrassment.

“What’s wrong with you?! Are you trying to give me a heart attack?!”

“I had to tell you some way.”

“There are better ways…” your mind was racing as you went over the three words.

How confidently he had yelled them to the world, unashamed and so certain.

It’s true that Yeonjun loved to get under your skin and make you unsteady, he found your startled expressions the cutest.

He wanted to make you question everything you had ever believed about love.

“Hey,” his voice was gentle as he placed a hand on your shoulder. “You don’t have to say it back.”

There wasn’t a moment that you had to think about it before repeating the words back to him.

This boy who made you feel reckless and out of control, despite all of your anxieties and fears.

The one that you were infuriatingly yet inexplicably drawn to in front of you with the cutest smile.

“I love you too, Yeonjun.”

And he smiled, pulling you into him and peppering kisses all over your face as if it were some form of skin care.

All the love he had been holding in finally being expressed in some small way beyond words.

Yeonjun didn’t want you to love him because he was good for you or because he said and did all the right things.

He wanted to be the best for you, the best friend he could be but the last thing he wanted was for you to love him because he seemed like everything you had been searching for.

Playful comments and flirtatious banter were only attempts to signal that to you, he wanted to be the one you didn’t see coming.

The giggled coming from you subsided as he finally came to a stop and stared at you, that dorky smile still on his face.

In the silence, you almost shrunk under his gaze as he let out a sigh of relief and put a hand over his heart.

After, he threw a fist in the air. “I totally won.”

You laughed, covering your face in embarrassment as the silence fell over the both of you again on your descent.

“Y/N, I don't want to be the reason why you can't sleep at night, from now on I want to be the one who lulls you to sleep.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ ID: P1HARMONY

genre key : (o) one-shot . fluff (f) . angst (a) . humor (h) . comfort (c) . (s) series . + personal favorites (♡)

CALLER ID: P1HARMONY.

✧ wip.

CALLER ID: choi taeyang.

✧ eternal sunshine (a) (f) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: yoon keeho.

✧ True romance. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: choi jiung.

✧ cool with you. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: hwang intak.

✧ In Bloom. (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

CALLER ID: haku shota.

✧ Slick Spider..? (f) (h) (s) (♡) [WIP]

CALLER ID: kim jongseob.

✧ 36 Flavors! (f) (h) (s) [WIP]

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ 7 hours ago.

After finding Kai on the outskirts of your kingdom, the two of you develop a bond stronger than any passage of time.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 4k ✧ fluff

On the outskirts of the tranquil kingdom lied a familiar sun-kissed, magical field. The air was crisp and cold as vibrant wildflowers sway in harmony with the gentle breeze. Kai’s eyes felt heavy as he tugged on the sack thrown over his shoulder.

Exhaustion took over his body as he let out a huff, eyes narrowing under the beating sun as he stared off into the distance at the kingdom drawing near.

Another one of his days was spent fulfilling quests of people around him, days beginning to blend together from his lack of sleep.

Even still, the rays of golden sunlight danced upon the emerald grass, casting a warm glow that illuminated the enchanting landscape. A smile tugged at his lips though as he thought of you.

Butterflies flit and fluttered among the blossoms of the land you were so proud of, adding an ethereal touch to the serene scene.

The kingdom of Hyrule was a haven where time seemed to stand still, inviting everyone who entered to bask in its radiant beauty and find solace in its' peaceful embrace.

Kai held himself back as he slid down the steep indent, rolling ankle meeting the bottom of the rugged mountain. The dense forest he had just came from still teeming with life and the songs of creatures unknown to him filtered through his ears.

Despite this, the sun beating down on him causing the sweat to pool on his pale skin didn’t phase him as he thought of you and the castle where he knew he would be able to rest his head.

You, the princess and future ruler of Hyrule but aside from that, Kai’s trusted friend.

It was known that you had been too busy with directing your kingdom’s construction efforts to be formally crowned as you were supposed to and so your taking of the title of ‘Queen’ had been stalled for quite some time.

Citizen’s speculations suggested you simply couldn’t handle the pressure and preferred to bury yourself into your research and studies, spending much more time shut away behind books. Not that they necessarily minded, you still tended to your royal duties as you needed and were regarded with much respect in the realm.

Beyond all the speculations and folklore created around you and the royal family you were tied to, no one knew you as well as Kai.

The two of you had met what felt like ages ago, the first day you could remember stumbling upon a boy who couldn't speak.

You were unsure if he couldn’t or wouldn’t, any questions inquiring about his family or friends met with a steady silence.

It was in that silence you seemed to pick up on his own confusion, the realization dawning that he wasn’t quite sure of much himself.

In taking him in, it didn’t take long for you to agree to help him discover who he was and possibly reunite him with his family.

Despite how well he seemed to fare on his own, you found yourself growing increasingly enamored with the boy and extended as much help to him as possible.

From Kai’s perspective it had been a particularly exhausting day when you, a young girl who had never heard a single melody in your entire life approached him.

Leaning down to see what the boy was hunched over, him shying the slightest bit away from you to protect himself.

“What’s that? Won’t you show me?” The air of familiarity in which you spoke with threw him off the slightest bit.

You were close to his age but you carried yourself with a confident air, despite being so far from civilization.

The air was alive with the melody of a birdsong and the rustle of leaves. The crackle of the fire in front of him pierced his ears and he whipped his head around to see if anyone else had come.

Strangely enough, it had just been you. With nothing to protect yourself but a book in hand, in that moment he made the quick judgement that you were the slightest bit ditzy.

The scent of wildflowers and pine trees filled his senses, it had been too long he had been traveling and he hadn’t the faintest idea where he had wounded up, having lost his map long before he could remember.

The walls of the kingdom could be seen from miles away, the ruins of ancient civilizations fallen past littering the path to its’ entrance like picture frames.

Despite the ruins, the kingdom itself remained untouched by the passage of time. Peering eyes remained focused on his hands, shaky as they covered something from your sight.

When you were met with no answer, you hummed and sat yourself down on the ground across from him. “You don’t talk?” You asked.

Kai thought for a moment before shaking his head. It wasn’t that he couldn’t, he was just the slightest hit apprehensive when it came to strangers. Not that anyone could blame him.

Sunlight filtered through the canopy above, casting dappled shadows on the earth’s floor and illuminating secret glades nearby.

The thing he had been protecting so dearly you eventually found out had been a music box, something delicate and treasured throughout his life.

A small, pink music box that was said to hold every song in the world. Curiously, you asked him to play a song for you.

Despite his fuzzy memories attached to the music box, his heart had told him to protect it and always keep it close.

Something so delicate in a world such as his must be protected.

Even so, he smiled hesitantly and played you his favorite song.

Kai watched while your face lit up with wonder as the music filled the sky and the poetry of the keys moved you in a way you had never felt before.

It wasn’t unnatural to hear the humming of strings throughout the kingdom as people played for their enjoyment but to hear a song tethered to the cranking of the winds’ gears somehow sounded much more beautiful and refined.

It hadn’t even dawned on the both of you that night began to fall, a shiver running down your spine at the thought of anything showing up unexpectedly.

“Why don’t you come back with me?” You offered.

“You can have a nice, full meal!” Clapping your hands together excitedly, you brushed yourself off as you waved back toward the kingdom.

Kai’s eyes wandered toward the fire in front of him and the sad excuse for a soup he had attempted to make, his pale cheeks flushing red.

Despite his wanting to decline out of embarrassment, the growling of his stomach quickly betrayed him.

The hesitance in his eyes was obvious and despite your age, you found yourself reading him as clear as your favorite book.

You kneeled down, reaching for his hand slowly. When he didn’t pull away you took it as a sign, gently grabbing it and holding it in your own with a smile.

“It’s not charity. You showed me something precious to you today, so I want to treat you. Think of it as a trade, okay?” For the first time in a while, Kai found himself smiling and he nodded.

“Okay…” His voice was quiet and you almost didn’t catch it. The sudden response had you ecstatic as you pulled him up, him stumbling to his feet.

Underneath that tree, the two of you formed a friendship that would last for years to come.

Kai would play his songs for you day after day and you would sit by him quietly, never seeming to mind that he would only speak to you through song.

As the two of you grew older, he seemed to talk more and more. Some days it was less often than others, not that you’d ever point it out. With his age, Kai had taken on many more quests and adventured out more often.

Spending more time away from the kingdom, you found he’d always return from these adventures completely exhausted. Of course, you let him know that there was always a warm bed waiting for him at the end of the day. Even still, you could tell that all of his hard work had taken a toll on him.

On days where he was particularly silent, you found him seeming much more drained physically and emotionally.

With this lack of speaking, seemingly stemming from the responsibility he had placed on himself at such a young age, you were quick to realize that Kai was the type to silently carry his own burdens.

The last time you had heard him break this silence was when you called him to one of your research stations, anxiously chewing on your nail as you stared down at the map in front of you.

After so many years you’d finally managed to track down members of Kai’s lineage— or at least, that was what you had hoped. Stowed away in Hyrule’s sister country of Labrynna you had heard whispers of a story that seemed to match exactly with what you had known of Kai.

Brothers and sisters searching for a young boy to match his exact description when you had met him. Of course, it dawned on you that it could be any other boy with a similar appearance so you decided to pay a visit yourself to be sure.

A boy and a music box.

The last thing you wanted was to get Kai’s hopes up for nothing, you were sure that would break the both of your hearts.

When you were younger you had grown fond of adventuring out beyond the kingdom, much to your fathers’ dismay. The issue lied in your own ability to defend yourself.

Knowing this, Kai agreed to help you in training to get stronger.

Traveling through sprawling deserts with tranquil lakes, you found yourself excitedly scribbling out poorly made drawings of its’ beautiful landscapes and jotting down notes of things you’d wanted to show Kai and discuss with him later on.

Deep inside Labrynna teemed with life inside its’ hidden village where the inhabitants carried on traditions passed down through generations. The village had a captivating beauty about it and you couldn’t help but find it fitting for someone like Kai to originate from there.

Once you had arrived, asking around had led you to a cozy cottage, its thatched roof adorned with ivy and moss, blending seamlessly with the surrounding verdant foliage. The village itself was a stark contrast to the deserts surrounding it.

Hesitantly, you swallowed the lump in your throat and knocked on the door. When the door opened you were faced with a girl, seemingly only a few years younger than Kai. It didn’t take much longer than a moment of studying her face to confirm the two were related and your heart began to swell.

You didn’t want to ruin the surprise so you had opted for an excuse for your appearance, some nonsense about Hyrule’s trading system reaching out to merchants of their partnering kingdoms.

All of the training you’d sat through came in handy as you rambled on and on about exchanging goods ranging from exotic spices and textiles to precious metals.

Kai’s sisters who you later learned to be named Lea and Bahiyyih seemed interested as the younger one happily engaged with you in conversations about her finest gems she’d accumulated over the years.

The cottage exuded an aura of warmth and tranquility, its walls adorned with quaint wooden shutters painted in hues of earthy greens and rich browns. The occasional pink foliage littered the area, you assumed by Bahiyyih’s touch.

Lea seemed much more hesitant yet she still offered you some tea, mentioning that she knew of some boys who may have been interested in trades as well.

The four boys, you later learned, had been friends of their missing brother.

The crackling fire filled the air with the scent of cedar wood as you were brought back to the night you had met Kai.

As you studied faded photos around the cabin, a photo of the boy you knew all too well had caught your attention, standing between the two girls with a toothy grin.

Something you found particularly captivating was the familiar, small music box held in the youngest girls’ hands.

Kai’s smile radiated that same warmth even through the faded photograph, your heart swelling at the sight of what he once had. You knew that he always yearned to return home, even if he couldn’t quite remember how he had gotten lost in the first place.

When you had returned to Hyrule that day, you were saddened to find that you had missed Kai’s return before he set off for another quest. You were sure he was off exploring the deepest cave somewhere quite a distance away.

The table of your research station had been littered with papers from your travels, those drawing and notes previously hidden away for Kai’s return.

The map of Kai’s home was now covered with detailed markings, warnings and notes scribbled across the top of it all leading to the circled area. Papers with notes tucked inside detailing a description of the newly familiar cabin and its occupants just in case he had somehow gotten lost.

There wasn’t a doubt in your mind that he would be able to find him though, seeing how people seemed to gravitate toward him. Kai always seemed to find himself exactly where he needed to be, you noticed.

A hand placed on your shoulder had you jumping, hands instinctively moving to cover the map as you whipped your head around. You found Kai, a confused look on his face that you read clear as day.

A sigh of relief escaped you as you smiled, growing embarrassed of how lost you had gotten in your thoughts.

“I know that it’s been years and you seemed okay with the prospect of giving up but…” your voice trailed off as you rolled the map up, gently placing it inside a protective sheath.

Kai tilted his head slightly and his hair fell in front of his face. You smiled a bit as that, wanting to reach up brush it out of his face. You’d noticed that it had grown much longer than he usually kept it when he was here.

“I found them, Kai. Your sisters.” For a moment he stilled, almost as if he had completely frozen up.

Concern filled your gaze and you stepped forward, holding the map close. “Kai? Are you alright?” Your words were smooth and soft, as if trying not to scare a frightened animal.

For the first time ever in the years you had known him, Kai laughed. The sound was loud and quite obnoxious, unlike anything you had ever heard from the boy and your eyes widened in surprise.

Despite the unfamiliarity, you found his laugh to be much better music than anything he had played for you before.

“Sisters,” he let out a deep breath and he looked down at your hands wound tightly around the map. He reached out, placing his over your own.

Kai wasn’t one to initiate physical contact yourself, the unfamiliar warmth causing the blood to rush to your cheeks. “Will you come with me?”

A part of you wanted to cry at the overwhelming care in his tone, how gently he asked you to follow him to his home.

Regrettably, you knew you had to deny this request.

“Unfortunately, I’m needed here.” He frowned for a moment before shaking his head, that wide smile crawling onto his face again.

“Sisters,” he repeated. A laugh escaped you this time as he said it. “Yes, Kai. Sisters. You have some friends there as well, I’m sure everyone in the village will be ecstatic to see you.”

As he took the map, he placed its’ sheath down at his side gently. Curiously, you spared him a glance before you turned to grab something else.

The delicate pink music box was held in your hands, finally going to be returned to its’ rightful owner. Before you could turn around to give it to him, you felt a pair of arms wrap around your waist.

The feeling of his warmth against you had your heart skip a beat as he buried his face into your neck. It was almost like he was starved of touch with how tightly he held onto you, as if he believed you would slip away any moment.

“Thank you, Y/N.” And there it was, the way your name had slipped off of his tongue so perfectly as if it was exactly where it belonged.

The lack of mentioning your title reminding you that you were simply yourself to him and nothing more.

It was these incredibly rare moments you cherished so dearly.

Every sensation felt almost heightened with him so close and you attempted to clear your throat, head spinning. No amount of conversational training could have prepared you for the absolute fool you became when it came to him.

That encounter had been months long passed by now and eventually became a distant memory. No matter how much time passed though, it would always be etched into your mind as the moment you found what love had felt like.

Even after all the time had passed you never grew tired of waiting, confident that he would return when he was ready. In fact, rather than growing bitter, your excitement only grew as you found yourself wondering what stories he would share with you.

Despite the occasional whispers in the kingdom due to his drawn out absence, you hadn’t found yourself concerned with it much. A part of you always missed him but he had promised to return and because of this, you trusted him.

Kai had agreed to return at a set time and place; seven months from the day he had left, beneath the seventh tree in the kingdom’s olive orchard.

Excitedly you rushed about, wondering if you had looked presentable enough. It was a foolish thing to wonder about, especially as Kai had seen you through all of your different phases and accepted you wholeheartedly.

Even still, you found yourself childishly hoping for everything to be perfect.

When you arrived promptly, you waited. As time passed you began to check your time keeper, wondering if your mind had been playing tricks on you.

Checking it every so often but even still, there was no sign of him. You began to question your memory for the first time in your life, wondering if all of your notes and countdowns had somehow been mistaken.

Was it the seventh tree or the tenth?

As foolish as you knew that you were being, you still wondered and decided to check, just in case.

As you made your way over to the tenth tree, Kai finally arrived at the seventh, tiredly leaning against it.

Confusion grew on his face as he studied his surroundings where you were noticeably absent.

The kingdom’s mystical monuments in the distance seemed to peek over the walls ahead, remnants of a bygone era. The trees above the both of you stood strong against the passage of time.

Kai waited before deciding he must have had the wrong tree and perhaps it was another where you were supposed to meet. He mentally scolded himself as he was sure Lea would have done for making you wait.

Meanwhile, you had arrived at the fifty-sixth tree, where Kai was still nowhere to be seen. Your strong facade seemed to fade with time as you found yourself wearing your disappointment on full display.

The both of you began to drift aimlessly around the olive orchard, almost meeting but never quite. Hundreds of questions passed through the both of your minds, had it even been the right day? Perhaps he had come a day early or a day late.

Finally, you found yourself beneath the same tree— the seventh where you began, feeling lost and resigned.

A part of you felt like crying as you stared down at the ground, heel digging into the soft dirt.

It was barely a minute that you stood there before there was a tap on your shoulder.

It was him.

“You came!” Even after all of the time you had spent conditioning yourself to be sure of his return, having him directly in front of you after what felt like forever had lifted a weight off of your shoulders.

With your arms suddenly thrown around his shoulders, he stumbled back at the impact as a bubbly laugh came from your throat. You weren’t expecting a verbal response but surprisingly, it came

“Was there any doubt?” He asked, a new teasing tone in his voice as his hand came up to cradle the back of your head.

Your eyes closed for a moment as you took in his presence, not wanting to let go. The playful tone in his voice was new and you found yourself flustered at the newfound confidence he seemed to have.

Even after such a short time, he continued to grow. A part of you felt sad that you had missed it.

Reluctantly pulling away, you brought yourself to look him in the eye and study his face. It was exactly how you remembered it yet somehow it still felt different.

"Where were you?" You asked, "I feel like I’ve been searching all my life."

Kai’s smile softened as he grabbed your hands from his shoulders, bringing them down to your sides to hesitantly interlock your fingers.

"You stopped looking for me," he replied, "and I found you."

He said it as if it had been the most obvious thing in the world and you shook your head, just grateful for his return.

Despite all of the lost time he had to make up for, Kai never regretted stumbling upon Hyrule— upon you.

With time he realized that it was not just the natural beauty of the kingdom that captivated him but you and the sense of wonder that came with knowing you.

Looming on the horizon like a beacon of hope, stood Hyrule Castle. In the distance behind you it almost shadowed behind you like a crown, the fortress of stone and marble that serves as the heart of the kingdom and the place Kai had once called home.

His eyes looked past you for the moment as he studied it, its towering spires reaching for the sky, silhouettes against the backdrop of the suddenly setting sun.

“Do you remember the song that I played you the night we met?” Kai asked as he brought his eyes back to yours, catching you staring.

Sheepishly, you shook your head no.

“I don’t,” you confessed.

“But I remember every song I have heard since you left.”

When he asked you why, you took both his hands in yours and kissed them warmly. This time, it was the tips of his ears that blushed a bright red as you looked up at him through your eyelashes.

“I couldn’t wait for the day I could share them with you.” He hummed in response, nothing else needing to be said.

The two of you sat, ignoring the setting sun as you began to spill everything of the past month with the other. For the moment neither of you had any responsibilities— you weren’t a princess and he wasn’t a knight: you were simply those kids you had always been.

The familiar silence you were once used to with Kai was quickly replaced with the familiarity of his laugh, your favorite sound.

The way Kai would speak your name with gratitude as if it was the mantra of his soul. No matter how often you’d laugh and deny it, he knew it to be undeniably true.

Underneath the vast expanse of the dimming sky, Kai pulled out something from his pocket— an ocarina, cradling it gently in his hands.

Curiously you glanced at it. Kai’s love for music was something that you were well aware of but he always seemed much more reserved when it came to playing himself in front of other people.

“Since you don’t remember it,” he started.

“I’ll play it for you again.” His gaze fell with a sense of quiet reverence as he raised the ocarina to his lips, its smooth surface cool against his skin.

With practiced fingers he exhales as the familiar, almost haunting melody drifted into the air weaving its way through the night.

Each note resonated with a tenderness long forgotten, carrying with it the depth of his emotions. Your breath seemed caught in your throat as you were enraptured by the song.

And as the night fell, you knew that he had to go.

Regrettably, you allowed yourself to ask him for once thing.

“Do you think you can stay? Just tonight?”

The softness in your voice allowed him to peer into your soul, the beat of your heart reflecting in every word.

“Anything for you.”

In the stillness of the castle’s corridors late at night, the entrance to your bedroom stood as a silent sanctuary from the outside world.

The tall, ornately carved doors loomed like sentinels, polished wood gleaming softly in the dim candlelight that flickered from sconces lining the stone walls.

The two of you seemed small compared to the walls around you but even still, Kai stood tall and proud. He seemed the same but still so different.

A soft creak echoed through the corridor, breaking the silence of the night as you stood holding it open. The familiar scent of lavender and jasmine lingered in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of beeswax from the candles that cast dancing shadows across the room.

The scent that Kai had once regarded as his own home. “I’ll see you off in the morning then?” Your voice held a hint of sadness and Kai nodded wordlessly, lips pressed together in a thin line.

Despite his lack of expression you could tell that something was weighing heavy on his mind as well. Gently grabbing his hand in yours once again, you pulled him closer to you for a moment. “I really have missed you, I’m glad that you’ve found your home. Both of these things are true.”

It was easy for you to tell that underneath it all, Kai had that lingering regret of leaving you to return home. Some sort of guilt buried inside that he couldn’t seem to sort out and detangle in his own.

You gently raised your hand to cup his cheek and he melted into you, just as he had all those months ago.

“You’ll always be special to me, Kai.” Your voice was careful as you wondered how you could confess how you felt after all these years without outright saying it. Tip-toeing around the truth that you both knew.

“I hope that you can allow the simple miracle of your own presence to overwhelm you.” Kai’s eyes fluttered closed for a moment as your thumb brushed against his cheek, feeling the warmth radiating off of it. “You’re beautiful in ways that can't be described.”

A smile came on his face as the tension disappeared from his expression, eyes fluttering open to look at you with pure adoration.

“Goodnight, Kai.” You hummed, gently placing a kiss on his cheek.

When the morning came, you saw him off at the gates as you had agreed to let him go. Although you wished you had more time, you refused to feel sad as you thought of the moments you’d spent together.

Kai knew that the pair of you were eternal, even after all this time. Every quest would lead him back to you, as you were born to walk this world in intersecting lines. Every adventure would bring him back to your side, whether he had to travel for 7 hours or 7 months.

Deep inside, you thanked him for his gift of music and poetry he had brought into your life simply by finding you.

A whirlwind of emotions swept you off of your feet the day you met him, your feelings spilling out in waves just as the ocean had. How lucky you considered yourself to fall in love so young.

Similarly to this, Kai found himself eternally grateful for you finding him and showing him love because he had known nothing better since meeting you.

In all of his adventures, Kai had stumbled upon the ruins of numerous civilizations. He had read their musings about the Gods they worshipped and promises of heaven, endlessly conflicting descriptions of divinity.

Nothing seemed to be as true as what he had thought himself when he was with you. Kai knew that he was born with his heart already broken, his memories taken from him in fragments. But the world began in pieces and somehow made itself whole in the exact way you had shown him.

The day he met you, your smile seemed to be a blazing trail of light that show down from the heavens as your each word seemed to direct him to where the stars truly belonged.

The smile that had shown him the way had also blessed him with realization that he loved you, like some sort of secret only he was allowed in on. The secret knowledge that he was as hopelessly devoted to you as those civilizations had been to their make believe Gods.

Nothing in the world could stop the maddening rush that those three words he longed to say to you caused.

And so he’d practice saying them over and over until you met again to perfect them for you. For his love, with those words, he found himself becoming with divinity and in turn, one with you.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ