PHONING... Carnival.

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ soobin's song ] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief, though the beating in your chest was still as fast as ever.

“Um… Soobin!” You said a bit loudly, almost like a cheer.

“I win!” Soobin said causing Yeonjun to roll his eyes with an annoyed huff, watching as he made his way toward you.

The ride attendant quickly got the both of you situated and gave a thumbs up before moving onto the next passengers.

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel began its slow ascent.

As the ferris wheel raised, Soobin sat comfortably, seemingly without a care in the world and you couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.

His calm demeanor was a contrast to everything around you, the excitement of the lights below taking up your attention.

Even though he was introverted, he did so well at huge events like these. You’d almost be jealous if you didn’t admire him so much for it.

Soobin’s eyes were focused on you, your eyes sparkling with the reflection of the colorful carnival.

“What can you see?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” You turned to him, only to find him staring at you with a look that almost seemed like he was lovestruck.

Rather than answering his own question, he looked down and began retracing your footsteps throughout the night over the landscape, as if he was following a map.

In truth, all he could see was remnants of you.

In the gentle sway of the carriage, he nudged you, pointing down toward the carousel the group had previously been on.

From high up, it looked so small yet you could still hear the gentle chimes if you focused hard enough.

And if you closed your eyes, you could still see all the small details on that horse.

“I’m really glad I came with you guys,” you started swept up in the moment.

The lights down below began blur with a magical glow over the shared space.

“I’m glad that you’re here, especially.”

Soobin’s eyes widened a bit behind his glasses as he fixed them with a smile. “Yeah?”

Maybe it was the enchantment of the lights down below or the stars above, but your mind had been yelling at you to come clean to him in the moment.

The scariest part of the moment wasn’t him but how unwaveringly certain you had been in choosing him.

“I like you.” You mumbled, words carried on the breeze between you.

In the moment of vulnerable honesty, he responded with a hum.

“Well, I love you.” His voice was nothing but kind and certain. Your eyes widened, quickly turning to face him in surprise at the sudden confidence.

Soobin laughed, his admission breaking the serene silence as you were carried higher, above the world below, over the rainbow lights.

“You had to one up me?” You asked, nervous if he was joking.

Soobin gave you an almost judgemental look, sensing your apprehension in believing him.

“I'm not asking for a grand declaration of love back. If you just like me a little, that’s fine.”

Embarrassed, you looked away. He smiled, putting his arm around your shoulder, pulling you in closer.

“I'm not asking for promises or tenure, I just want you to know that you’re the hand I reach for at my breaking point.”

In the way he wanted to become your home; you had become his island. A place of solitude he could wander to when seeking comfort.

“I reach for you too,” you started quietly. “I think you’re just better at words than me, but I do love you too..”

“I’m not good at words, at all actually.”

“Dude, you just recited like… some romantic poem or something as a confession!”

Soobin stared off into the distance, lips jutted out slightly in thought before he shrugged.

“Hm? I don’t think it sounded like anything too special, it was just the truth.”

Burying your face into his shoulder, you refused to look at anything else as you sighed.

This made him chuckle again as he began pointing things out to you to get you to look down.

The small sights of couples play fighting and your friends conversing down below somehow calmed your aching nerves.

In truth, it had been to calm the both of you down.

Even if he did a good job at not showing it in the moment, the internal freak out he had on ground in the wake of being picked by you had shook him quite a bit.

Not that he would admit it, the last thing he needed was you making fun of him.

Regardless, the words he had been waiting to tell you for however long had finally been spoken, a wave of contentment washed over him.

Soobin, who would always speak your name with gratitude, knowing it was the mantra of his soul.

Forever grateful to know you in any way you would allow him.

The man who would leave markers for you at every turn so if you had ever gotten lost, you would know where to return to.

Soobin who could find pieces of you in everything that caught his breath.

Somehow, you had never felt more loved than you did at this moment.

“Y/N, you’re special to me in ways that I can’t describe. You are love at its most inexplicable.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ songs for you.

With the encouragement from his friends to stop yapping and finally do something about his crush, Yeonjun enacts a multi-step plan to ensure you fall for him. Unfortunately, each incident seems to crash and burn.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 6k ✧ fluff , humor

The sun hung low in the sky, casting a warm golden glow over the manicured lawns and towering buildings of the university as you yawned.

Stepping out of your final class of the day, the campus buzzed with energy and activity around you. Despite the students rushing past you, your eyes stayed glued to your phone as you quickly texted your friends to let them know that you were done with your class.

Unknown to you, staggering behind was Yeonjun whose eyes stayed glued to you. Soobin seemed to notice his lack of animated responses and followed his line of sight, only to see you.

“Staring holes into the back of her head surely isn’t getting you anywhere.” Soobin said teasingly, nudging him.

The sound of Kai’s loud laughter caused Yeonjun to sink into himself as he shot the boy an annoyed look, quickly checking that you didn’t look over at the commotion.

Of course, you were too busy tied up in your own world and he let out a sigh of relief.

The conversation was punctuated by the ringing of bells signaling the end of classes. “Why don’t you just make a move already? You’re running out of time, at the pace you’re going someone else is gonna swoop in.” Beomgyu’s flat tone didn’t seem to match his interest in the topic as he tucked his phone into his pocket.

“It’s not like I haven’t tried, she’s just always busy.” Yeonjun scoffed as he brushed a strand of hair from his face.

“Really?” Soobin hummed, “I haven’t seen you talked to her once.”

Yeonjun straightened his back and let out a huff as he jumped to defend himself. “That’s not true, we talked at the student showcase!”

Soobin snickered, “Oh right. Was that when you spilled your Sprite on her?”

“Ai—”

In the distance, there was the faint strains of music drifting from a nearby quad, where a group of students has gathered to enjoy the late afternoon sun. Beomgyu tore his eyes away from the group as they had passed, chiming in.

“Oh, yeah! And then she missed collecting her prize money because she went to go clean herself up.”

Embarrassment was written all over his face as Yeonjun ran a hand down his face, refusing to think back on the memory.

“Okay. Not my proudest moment, clearly.”

“You don’t have that many proud moments anyways, so don’t worry about it.” Taehyun teased, placing a hand on his older friends’ shoulder.

Yeonjun groaned, shaking him off as the group made their way through the campus to the court.

Yeonjun thought of what the others said as his eyes scanned the walls of the buildings, adorned with posters advertising lectures, performances, and club meetings. Despite his lack of personal interest in these clubs, they seemed to give him a few ideas on how to get your attention.

Yeonjun stood at the free-throw line, ball in hand, heart pounding with a mix of nerves and excitement.

It wasn’t like Yeonjun was a sweat when it came to their games— they were always in good fun so he never worried too much about it but knowing that you were only a few feet away on the bleachers with your friends had him feeling much more competitive.

Yeonjun glanced over at you, his heart stopping when he caught your eyes with his. Glancing over out of curiosity, you found yourself a bit embarrassed with the sudden eye contact but you flashed him a quick supportive smile.

In all honesty, you didn’t know much about him aside from what you heard from everyone around you. Yeonjun was attractive, that much you could admit, but it was a bit difficult to approach him considering how highly everyone spoke of him.

The two of you shared quite a few mutual friends so you’d run into each other fairly often but you never found yourself particularly engaged in a conversation with him alone.

The one time that you had talked to him ended with you covered in sticky soda which was of course, much less than favorable.

Even still, the conversation before had been enjoyable enough as he told you how much he liked your art. Student showcases were a bit of a drag and you found them quite embarrassing but when you’d later found out that he had dragged the rest of his friends to see your display, it felt worth it.

From then on you’d regarded Yeonjun as attractive and kind.

The eye contact grew a bit uncomfortable as you nervously laughed, quickly turning back to face your friends who gave you a teasing smile.

“Well, anyways, I’m not sure if I’ll text him back. I mean it was really nice but I don’t think he’s really the type to want something serious, you know?”

Karina hummed as she twirled her hair around her finger. “Are you sure you’re not making an assumption? Maybe he can surprise you.” She offered and you bit the inside of your cheek.

Ningning laughed as she tangled a sour strip above Winter who tried to catch it with her mouth. Watching this, you found yourself laughing at her struggling from her position lying on the bleachers.

“Y/N’s impossibly high standards strike again,” Giselle says as she shakes you gently by your shoulder with a smile.

Sheepishly, you rubbed the back of your neck and whined. “Isn’t that a good thing? I don’t wanna be played by some dumb disingenuous guy, y’know?”

You used to think that falling in love was about holding on, but soon you found that it wasn’t. Meaningless conversations made your head spin and after one too many times, you’ve practically given up.

At the end of the day, you realized you may never realize what love truly was. Or maybe you’ve had it all wrong. There was always the possibility that someone could change your mind but you refused to hold your breath waiting for it.

Winter finally caught the sour rope in her mouth and bit down on it, tugging the rope as it slipped from a distracted Ningning’s grasp, slapping Winter in the face.

Ningning’s attention had been turned toward the court as she saw the familiar group of boys muttering and looking over.

Winter choked as she sat up straight, coughing as she blinked rapidly to get rid of sugar that had gotten into her eye. You let out a small laugh as you moved her flailing hands and wiped the remaining sugar off her face.

“What about Yeonjun?” Giselle offered and you gave her a confused look.

“What… about him?” Ningning looked at you and then back to Yeonjun’s three friends who were still starring.

In his own word Yeonjun focused on the hoop with a deep breath, visualizing the perfect arc of the ball as he got ready to shoot it through the air.

Suddenly, his confidence came crashing down as a familiar voice called out.

“Y/N! This one’s for you!”

Ningning and Winter both started laughing and you turned toward the court with a confused look to see Soobin waving his arms toward you to get your attention.

Yeonjun’s stance fell and he quickly turned toward Soobin, heart beating out of his chest.

“Hey— why the hell would you—?!”

Soobin snickered as he nudged Yeonjun back toward the starting point, “Sh! Hurry up!”

That nervousness creeped back up as Yeonjun prepared to take the shot. It certainly didn’t help that he could feel the weight of your gaze on him. Knowing you were watching seemed to put him in a rushed state and he wasted no time shooting.

With a flick of his wrist, he released the ball, sending it soaring towards the basket with all the confidence he could muster back up.

Unfortunately, as the ball left his fingertips, he realized with a sinking feeling that something was off and he made a mental note to choke Soobin out when they were out of your sight.

The ball veered off course, missing the mark by a wide margin and clattering off the backboard with a resounding thud.

Any childish hope of impressing you dashed in an instant and he refused to turn and face you as he turned completely the other way, eyes staring through the chain link fence and out at the lot beyond it.

Beomgyu pursed his lips as he attempted to stifle his laughter and Taehyun grit his teeth together.

“Oh, that’s not…”

Embarrassed, you buried your face into your hands with an audible groan not even having to look up to know that he missed the shot, Giselle’s laugh next to you was enough of an indicator.

Embarrassment flooded Yeonjun’s cheeks as he retrieved the ball, trying to shake off the disappointment and salvage what's left of his pride.

After his blank stare was torn away from the fence he attempted to laugh it off, making light of his missed shot as he prepared to try again.

Soobin stood awkwardly, long arms stuck to his sides as he laughed along with Yeonjun in an attempt to help soothe the tension. Kai looked up from his switch, seeing the glare behind Yeonjun’s eyes and laughed.

“You’re making it worse, hyung.”

“Well… she laughed?” Soobin offered.

“Her friends laughed, idiot.” Yeonjun countered.

Soobin couldn’t help but feel a twinge of regret at Yeonjun failing to live up to the expectations he'd set and he let out a long drawn sigh. “You’re helpless.”

Yeonjun swatted at him, “me?! You set me up!”

The two’s bickering fell on deaf ears as Taehyun swiped the ball from Yeonjun’s hands and looked back at your group of friends.

Your hands fell from your face and Taehyun noticed a shy smile playing on your lips as your friends gushed about Yeonjun’s embarrassing moment.

The kitchen was bathed in warm, golden light as Yeonjun stood cluelessly, Soobin eagerly gathering ingredients to bake cookies.

Soobin turned from the cabinet and gave Yeonjun an annoyed look, “are you gonna help?”

“I would if I knew what we were doing.” Yeonjun argued as he cautiously moved around the counter, leaning against it with his arms crossed.

Soobin puffed out his cheeks for a moment as he stilled, placing the flour on the counter. “Cookies. Brownies? No— cookies.”

“Cookies?”

“Do you want to get a date with her or not?”

Yeonjun paused for a moment before the realization washed over him and he gave Soobin a confused look. “Remember what happened last time you tried to help?”

Soobin blinked a few times before throwing the rest of the ingredients on the counter and put his hands up in defeat. “I give up.”

As he went to walk away Yeonjun rolled his eyes, grabbing his wrist to stop him. “No! Clean up your mess.”

“My mess?” Soobin asked, raising an eyebrow.

Yeonjun’s cheeks grew red and he groaned. Neither him or Soobin were particularly good at baking but the idea of trying seemed appealing, at least if it was for you.

The silence had Soobin chuckling and Yeonjun shook his head before turning back to the counter. “So… cookies.”

With a sense of determination, Yeonjun set to work, measuring out ingredients as Soobin preheated the oven.

Flour dusted the countertops, and the scent of vanilla extract lingered in the air, adding to the cozy atmosphere.

Occasionally, their community mates would wander in with curiosity or to fetch snacks for themselves. This was how Soobin found himself lost in conversation with Beomgyu as Yeonjun reached for the sugar and salt.

It was easy for him to find himself distracted as he imagined the look on your face when he gave you the cookies, hoping that they were to your liking.

Baking for someone was out of character for him and that much was obvious from how clumsy he was in the kitchen. It wasn’t that he was horrible but he certainly wasn’t the best, he much preferred to buy stuff rather than make it himself. Though he seemed convinced now that making them himself was the best way to make sure they were enough to showcase how he felt.

Unbeknownst to the distracted Yeonjun and Soobin, the granules cascading into the bowl weren’t the sweet, crystalline sugar he intended, but instead, the coarse, white grains of salt.

Oblivious to this mistake, Yeonjun continued to add ingredients, his mind consumed with other ideas to win you over and gain your attention in a more positive way.

With each stir of the spoon, the mixture began to take shape, the dough coming together in a smooth, glossy consistency. Yeonjun looked up at Soobin and Beomgyu who were locked into something the latter was showing on his phone as he scooped the dough onto the baking sheet, excitement building with each passing moment.

Yeonjun slid the tray into the oven as he excused himself for a few to go change, heart beating with excitement and the hope that you’ll savor the sweetness of his gesture.

Soobin agreed to wait for the cookies to finish as the older boy left, Beomgyu peeking into the oven with curiosity.

As the cookies baked, a faint scent wafted through the air. Beomgyu noted it wasn’t the enticing aroma of freshly baked treats, but instead, the unmistakable tang of salt.

“These for Kai or something?” Beomgyu asks, wondering if the boys were intending to pull a prank.

Confusion clouded Soobin’s mind as he furrowed his brow, unable to understand what he meant. “No? They’re for Y/N.”

Beomgyu’s mouth formed a quick ‘o’ as Soobin shoved him aside, pulling the tray from the oven. Yeonjun returned to see the golden-brown cookies on the counter and smiled.

“Nice! You want one Beomgyu?” The younger boy blinked for a moment, the other two’s obliviousness causing him to snicker as he shook his head.

“No, thanks.” Beomgyu reached behind Soobin, grabbing a bag of chips and waving them in front of the others as he quickly left with an amused look.

Soobin reached for a cookie and Yeonjun quickly smacked his hand away.

“No cookies for saboteurs.” He said firmly.

“Man…”

Of course, Yeonjun had considered giving them to you himself but unlike usual, he always found himself too tongue tied around you.

In the end, he decided to leave them at your seat during your last lecture. Even without sharing the class, your professor was quick to let him in due to her growing annoyance with his begging.

Not having much time to figure out the mystery of the cookies, you shoved them into your bag to investigate later. That was how you found yourself sat with your friends in a cafe nearby campus, cookies sat opened and untouched on the table.

Inside the small box was a scrap of paper that simply said ‘to Y/N, from Yeonjun! :)’

“Why would he make me… cookies?” You asked, head tilted slightly to the side in confusion.

“Seriously? You realize that he’s crazy obsessed with you right?” Jisung said with a look of amusement, swirling around the straw of his latte as he leaned into his hand. “You don’t know how many times Mark has complained about it.”

Chenle nodded, adjusting his sunglasses as he leaned back into his seat. “Right. Like, weirdly obsessed with you. It’s important to me that you know that, Y/N.” His voice was teasing and you rolled your eyes at his usual sarcasm.

You sat, staring down at the box of clumsily decorated cookies. Smiley faces and hearts messily drawn on them each made your chest flutter the slightest bit.

Unfortunately for you, the sweetness of the gesture was quickly overpowered by the complete confusion on your face when Jisung began coughing and spitting one of the cookies out. That was how you learned they were in fact, pact full of salt.

“Really? This is seeming like some weird joke…” your voice trailed off and Chenle snickered.

“Yeah, I just think he’s not very bright.”

Pausing for a moment, you nibbled on the straw between your teeth as you wondered if it really had been an accident rather than a joke. It was obvious that he put a bit of effort in, despite the ultimate failure the gesture had been.

Jisung rolled his eyes as he glared down at the box of cookies with a personal hatred burning in them. “What a waste of cookies…”

The library’s grand facade is bathed in the sunset as you tiredly make your way toward it to get some last minute studying in. Classes haven’t been very stressful as of late but you’ve found yourself growing increasingly distracted by a certain boy.

Multiple mishaps have led to him staying on your mind simply due to his strange behavior. Anytime you had thought about confronting him about it though, he seemed in a rush to get away from you.

Unknown to you, Yeonjun sat in the library with Beomgyu kicked back beside him loudly munching on a snack. Considering how the library attendant seemed to barely care about their job, the noise didn’t seem to be much of an issue at the moment.

“Why’re you so stressed? Just make the perfect playlist and write a charming one liner or something in the description— boom, Y/N falls in love with you and the two of you can make out for all of eternity.” He teased.

Yeonjun glared at him, shoving his feet off of the library desk. “Quiet down!” Beomgyu looked around to see the library was, as he expected, mostly barren. “As if it’s any kind of secret.”

“Whatever. And I’m not stressed, it’s just a playlist.” Beomgyu nodded, although it was clear from his expression that he didn’t believe him.

“Right. Considering how hopelessly in love with her you are, isn’t it weird that you don’t know her music taste?” Choosing to ignore the hard truth of his words, Yeonjun continued scrolling through his music library as he carefully selected each track.

Beomgyu noticed his meticulous attention to detail as Yeonjun scanned lyrics, taking out and adding songs as the moments passed by.

At the start he seemed to kick off strong, choosing songs that Beomgyu has heard in passing from Yeonjun’s own personal playlist from artists like Hanuel and Hojean.

The more he continued to try and curate the ‘perfect’ playlist though, his confidence in his own taste seemed to visibly wane as Beomgyu watched him replace his personal favorites with more popular songs.

Yeonjun chewed on his lip with his eyes narrowed, agonizing over whether each song was romantic enough or if it would resonate with you in the way he hoped.

It was when Beomgyu watched him replace 99% of the playlist with old Bruno Mars songs that he gave his older friend a deadpanned expression, deciding to take over.

“This is getting like… really corny, dude.”

In Yeonjun’s quest for perfection, he became paralyzed by indecision. The two spent hours of Beomgyu offering songs and Yeonjun agonizing over every choice, rearranging the playlist multiple times.

“There’s no hope for you. Just let me do it.” Beomgyu said with a sigh, hanging up his bag of chips as he and Yeonjun swapped seats.

Yeonjun watched in focus as Beomgyu added and deleted tracks, fighting the urge to comment on his choices and unable to shake the feeling that something is missing.

“There.” Beomgyu said after only a few moments, rolling out of the way for Yeonjun to look. “Take it or leave it. I’ve worked my magic.”

Yeonjun scrolled through for a few moments, thinking on it before beginning his edits.

Seeing this, Beomgyu groaned as his head dropped to the desk with a ‘thud’.

“Dude, it should not be this hard. You’re gonna stay single forever…” his muffled voice groaned.

“Shut up.” Yeonjun muttered.

After a few more moments, Yeonjun felt defeated. What should have been a quick and easy process was somehow becoming increasingly more complicated all because it was for you.

“Cigarettes after sex?” Your voice murmured quietly as you stared at the screen from behind Beomgyu, studying the tracks.

The title of the playlist had your heart stopping in your chest, only for the feeling to tighten as you read the description attached to it.

Yeonjun jumped at your voice and quickly snapped his laptop shut. Beomgyu rolled his head to the side, cheek pressed against the desk as he saw you leaning above him.

“Oh, hey Y/N.” His voice was tired and you looked down, giving him a small smile. “Hi, Gyu.”

There was a silence as Yeonjun stared at you like he had been caught doing something wrong and the small smile on your face stayed. “Hi, Yeonjun.”

Your voice was as sweet as ever and the close proximity had him feeling almost dizzy. Attempting to come to his senses, he cleared his throat and gave you his usual charming smile. “H-Hey, Y/N.”

Of course, his voice betrayed him and Beomgyu snickered.

Yeonjun kicked him underneath the desk and Beomgyu groaned, causing you to chuckle as you pulled away from them.

“Sorry for intruding, I came over to ask Beomgyu about something for photography but…” your voice trailed off for a moment as you pondered what to say next.

Yeonjun’s heart pounded in his chest as he wondered if you saw what he was making and if he needed to move across the globe out of embarrassment.

“Well anyway, it doesn’t matter.” You said, ultimately choosing to save Yeonjun from the embarrassment of calling out the playlists’ title.

“I’ll leave you two to it.” You said with a yawn, stretching as you stepped back. “Oh, bye Y/N.” Beomgyu said, voice uninterested and trailing off as he began to doze off against the table.

“Oh! By the way Yeonjun, you should send me one of your playlists sometime.” You said, a hint of playfulness in your voice as he gave you a dumbfounded look, muttering an incoherent goodbye.

Yeonjun stood in the flower shop, carefully selecting a bouquet of vibrant flowers, each bloom seemingly chosen with care and tied together with a delicate ribbon.

He hadn’t known if you’d pay much attention to detail or look into their meanings but he quickly found himself pulling out his phone with each option, making sure to look up the meaning of each specific flower just in case.

Yeonjun’s world almost seemed to shatter when he realized the yellow carnations in his hand were not, in fact, the best choice and they were quickly jammed back among the rest as he began to pace around.

Taehyun watched the ordeal from behind the counter and let out a sigh as he rang for assistance, his coworker clumsily poking his head out from the back in question.

“What’s up?” He asked.

Taehyun motioned toward Yeonjun, “my friend needs assistance. You mind tending up here for a bit?” He asked gently and the boy shook his head with a smile.

Knowing the front was taken care of, Taehyun made his way to Yeonjun with an amused look.

“You know when I told you to get her flowers, I didn’t mean come and tear up our displays.” He said half-heartedly.

“Right, you just meant come and make you more money.” Taehyun shrugged at that, knowing it was more-so a comment stemming from his frustrations.

Adjusting his glasses, Taehyun reached around and fixed up the bouquets that Yeonjun had messily discarded. Realizing the mess, he ran a hand through his hair.

“Sorry, Taehyun.”

Taehyun’s gaze lingered on Yeonjun as he shifted under it, kicking at the ground in frustration. It was obvious that Yeonjun had been stressing himself out over making the right choice.

Despite his friends knowing about his little crush on you, Taehyun had noticed how seriously he had been taking everything when it came to you and couldn’t help but feel that sincerity stemmed from something much more serious.

Adjusting his glasses, he smiled and shook his head at him. “Give me a few minutes in the back, okay? Don’t mess up the rest of our displays.” Taehyun mused teasingly.

Cluelessly, Yeonjun nodded and followed him to wait at the counter as he went to make him a personalized bouquet. With a sigh, Yeonjun felt a slight weight being lifted off of his shoulders as he trusted Taehyun’s choices.

With a nervous flutter in his stomach, Yeonjun approached you at the picnic table where you sat, his heart pounding with anticipation.

As he opened his mouth to get your attention, you looked up at him from your phone with a knowing smile. You’d found that lately you’ve become increasingly aware whenever he was around, even searching for him wherever you’d went subconsciously.

“Hi, Yeonjun.” You said, giving him an expectant look as your gaze traveled to the bouquet of flowers he held.

His grip on them was tight as opposed to the delicacy of the flowers and it made you smile as you held back a laugh.

A combination of blue and violet flowers were tied together by a pink ribbon, the colors complimenting each other and harmonizing well.

“Y/N,” he started before clearing his throat again. This was a habit he picked up when around you, you’d noticed.

“These uh… they’re for you!” He said awkwardly, presenting you them with a goofy smile. His lack of tact made you chuckle as you took them from him.

The silence that followed, though, had a sinking feeling form in the pit of his stomach as he watched your eyes begin to water.

Yeonjun’s expression became clouded with confusion and concern, “do you not like the color? I-I honestly know nothing about flowers so, you can just throw them out if you want! It’s really no big deal, I was just thinking of you so— or, I thought you’d like them. Not that I was randomly thinking of you. Or— not that I don’t think of you, but…”

Yeonjun’s voice trailed off with a nervous laugh, hoping his rambling would cheer you up and relieve you of whatever pressure he seemed to suddenly place on you.

Quickly, you shook your head with a small smile as the tears fell. As you opened your mouth to protest, your nose twitched as you suddenly let out a sneeze.

It's then that he realized with dawning horror that you were allergic to the flowers— the last, ‘fool proof’ gift he had hoped would win you over.

Yeonjun’s heart sinks as he watches you struggle to suppress a sneeze, filled with regret at his thoughtless mistake.

“Sorry, Y/N.” He stammered out, gently taking the flowers from you with a helpless feeling as he watched your discomfort.

Even with your wordless protests he wondered if his friends had been right and he really was clueless.

With anyone else, flirting seemed to come so easily but with you, he wanted his efforts to really mean something.

Quickly he realized that getting caught up in the things his friends thought were romantic gestures were just his own stupid way of ruining everything in the end.

Yeonjun’s cheeks burned with embarrassment as he realized the gravity of his error. Another romantic gesture overshadowed by the unintended consequences of his actions.

He wondered if his constant errors had been some warning of your future— a tell tale sign of truth that was meant to signal to him that all he would do is let you down.

Caught up in his own thoughts, Yeonjun was pulled out of them as you smiled through watery eyes, gratitude shining through despite the discomfort.

“That’s sweet, Yeonjun.” A nervous smile made its way onto his face as he rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“You’re cute when you’re flustered.” You added on and he realized that maybe, the gesture hadn’t been a total failure in the end.

“You’re cute when you sneeze.” He added jokingly and you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t ruin the moment, Romeo. I can still accuse you of attempted assassination, you know.”

The flowers discarded on the ground, Yeonjun kneeled against the bench as the two of you talked for a few moments. A hint of a confession on the tip of his tongue before his phone went off suddenly, causing him to frown.

Regrettably he said his goodbye before rushing away to go help whoever had called for him, not without one last wave and charming smile.

When he turned back, the world beneath you kept spinning round and round like the plates in a circus act. Yet even with his new absence, you couldn’t leave Yeonjun behind.

No matter what kind of day you were having, he still scratched at the corner of your mind, like a cat begging to be let in.

The smile that creeped up on your face at the memory of him couldn’t be defeated. It was at that picnic table, hands covering the wide smile on your face that you had accepted defeat.

“Are you okay? You seem nervous lately.” Kai asked as he watched Yeonjun step onto his skateboard.

He pushed off with a confident stride, weaving through the concrete park with his eyes fixated on you from a distance.

Leaning against the concession stand, you chatted with your friend that Yeonjun couldn’t seem to remember the name of. Matty? Matthew?

His board caught on a rock he didn’t notice as he watched you laugh, eyes widening as he stumbled forward off of it. Kai followed his sight and clicked his tongue in acknowledgement.

“I’m trying to figure out how to tell Y/N how I feel.” He said as if it weren’t obvious to everyone around him. Despite that, Kai nodded.

“I mean— she seems open to talking to me now after the showcase incident so that’s good news, right?” Yeonjun’s tone was hopeful and Kai’s lips twitched up in a smile.

“Oh, actually…” Kai held the can in his hands away from him as the metal snapped, carbonation bubbling to the top. “I passed her and some of her friends in the quad the other day and she asked me for your number.”

Yeonjun practically threw himself onto the ground at that as he stumbled over his board once more, “she what?! Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kai laughed, shrugging. “Slipped my mind.” His voice was teasing, though and Yeonjun furrowed his eyebrows at that.

Sensing his apprehension, Kai sighed. “She asked me not to tell you.” He said simply.

“Well, you failed.” This time, Kai pouted at him.

“Whatever, you would have found out anyways. Hasn’t she texted you yet?”

“Well if she did, I would have known that you gave her my number, wouldn’t I?”

“Oh,” Kai paused before nodding. “Fair point.”

“I know that you want it to be special but why don’t you just try being yourself? You know, tell her how she makes you feel without overthinking it.” The younger boy offered, sliding his board back and forth with his foot as he took a break.

“It worked for everyone else you dated, somehow.” He added on with a cute tone as he reached forward, pinching him.

Yeonjun swatted his hand away from him and looked back to the concession stand. Leaning against it, you were facing his way this time as if you’d known he was there all along.

When your eyes met you gave him a kind smile, waving at the two of them. Kai waved back as Yeonjun froze and for the moment, he almost thought you were looking for him.

Yeonjun found himself light-headed with the same stupid determination and sudden desire to impress as he stepped onto his skateboard again.

As Yeonjun approached, he decided to show off a trick he and Kai had been practicing. It wasn’t anything too big, just a jump over the small obstacles littered around the park.

With a burst of speed, he launched himself into the air, heart pounding with anticipation. But just as he reached the peak of his jump, his foot slipped off the board, sending him tumbling to the ground in another display of clumsiness.

You gasped in surprise, eyes widening in concern as Kai grimaced, rushing over to help him. Matthew placed the snacks you’d bought on the counter next to you and cringed, “ouch. At least he tried?” He laughed before noticing your lips pressed into a firm frown.

“You should go check on him, Y/N. Make sure he didn’t break any bones or concuss himself?” He said teasingly as he turned, placing a cold can on ice tea on the counter next to your bottle of water.

A look of confusion played on your face and Matthew rolled his eyes, shoving the mess of items into your arms. You stuck out your tongue at him in annoyance before turning back toward Yeonjun.

The embarrassment could have been bearable if he hadn’t seen you walking directly toward him.

Yeonjun rarely felt embarrassed, he never felt like anything mattered enough to worry about in the grand scheme of things. Of course, this changed with you and that embarrassment became a part of his daily routine.

“The universe has got to be against you,” Kai said as he gave Yeonjun an empathetic look and the older boy just laughed it off.

At the end of the day, as embarrassing as that had been, you never seemed to shy away from his embarrassing displays before.

The crinkle of bags dropping next to him alerted Yeonjun of your presence as you kneeled down with a sympathetic smile, cold iced tea in hand.

Yeonjun’s hand that had been soothing his busted ankle fell and he gave you a toothy grin. “Y/N, what a… coincidence!”

You rolled your eyes at this, reaching out and pressing the can of cold iced tea against his red ankle. Yeonjun’s cheeks flushed at this and he looked up again to see you.

“Since your guardian angel is here, looks like it’s my cue to go.” Kai said with a teasing tone, shooting you a knowing smile. “Bye, Y/N~”

A laugh escaped you and you shook your head as Kai pushed himself off on his own board. Yeonjun’s constant effort to impress you lingered in your mind, each attempt seemingly more desperate than the last.

Despite these failed attempts though, Yeonjun became the one constant stuck in your mind. Before he started these grand displays, you found yourself dreading the idea of dating.

You couldn’t be sure what the reasons were for these attempts at first but after the first two, it had became obvious that he was interested in you.

It made you laugh at how determined he was to get your attention, almost like he had blinded himself, never seeming to realize that he had already gotten it.

The last thing you wanted was to get caught up with someone who was looking for a relationship for the wrong reasons. Countless times you found yourself jaded after failed talking stages.

Funnily enough, Yeonjun’s constant attempts to win your affection seemed to have you wrapped around his finger similarly to how he was around yours.

“At least you tried.” You said, echoeing Matthew’s teasing. Yeonjun’s wide grin never left as you moved from on your knees to sit down properly next to him.

His gaze followed you like an enamored kitten and you found yourself suddenly feeling shy under it. “You’re always there at my worst moments.” He said.

“Don’t worry, it’s always just as endearing.” You nudged him gently with your shoulder and he rolled his eyes this time.

“Let me take you on a date, then? I’ll make sure it’s one of your best.” This time, you were the one who grew embarrassed as he leaned in close.

His eyes peered up at you with curiosity as you tried to avoid his gaze. You gently pushed him away with a shy laugh and he grabbed your hand in his, holding it in its’ place against his cheek.

“I’m sure it will be since it’s with you.” And like what seemed like second nature after all this time, his breath caught in his throat. The wind blowing against the both of you left him unfazed compared to those words.

Overtime as he invaded your life, you found how perfectly he seemed to fit like a perfect piece of the puzzle.

Because of Yeonjun, you found yourself learning that love was about hands gripping the edge of the world and letting go, one finger at a time.

Each bated breath, holding it in before the drop came. It was unfamiliar and scary for your first time, but soon you’d get used to the motion; the headlong dive into the deep.

“Y/N,” he whispered your name like a prayer, his voice heavy with all the hope of heaven. Your hand remained still against his cheek only for a moment as his grip on it loosened.

Nervously, you pulled your hand from his against his face, only to take his in your own and gently lock your fingers together. His gaze never left your face as he memorized the patterns of your skin, your own eyes focused down at your hands.

Any anxieties from long before were let go as you thought about him and how recklessly he had thrown himself into it, all for you.

Unabashedly, you wanted to love like he did. So you decided to go with it.

Tracing the lines of his palm, you drew a map to salvation in your mind. After what felt like too long of meaningless encounters and empty promises it seemed that the world led you right to each other.

The last thing that you wanted was to fall for someone disingenuous and find yourself distraught over someone who wasn’t worth it.

Fortunately for you, Yeonjun seemed to hear the knock of your heart and answer it like his calling.

songs for Y/N. ♡

you only get one chance to fall in love with your heart still whole, thank you for making the fall that much sweeter. ;)

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

selected: [ kai's song.] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief. Turning your attention to Kai who had been fidgeting with his Molang you both had won earlier, you held out your hand to him expectantly.

“Kai, do you want to come with me?”

He seemed a bit surprised before flashing you a toothy grin and nodding, stepping towards you.

The two of you step onto the gondola, feeling a thrill of anticipation.

Kai wasn’t a fan of the fairground rides himself but considering the speed of the ferris wheel, he wasn’t as anxious as you.

The attendant secures the safety bar and gives you both a friendly nod.

With a lurch, the Ferris wheel begins its slow ascent, the ground falling away beneath you.

You blow air out that you had been holding in as you hesitantly let go of the bar and brought your hands up to your face.

“Do you want to hold Molang?” Kai offered, sensing your growing anxiety.

“Oh, for sure. Yes, I do.” Almost snatching the plushie out of his grip, you quickly took it and squeezed it.

He laughed, “jeez, Y/N. It isn’t going anywhere.”

As you rise higher and higher, the carnival below has its’ colorful lights twinkling like stars.

Unlike you, Kai finds himself focusing his eyes up towards the sky.

“Y’know, I had a dream about you last night,” he spoke up in a playful tone. You assumed that he was trying to help calm your nerves a bit.

Turning towards him with a small smile, you raised an eyebrow at him. “Oh, yeah?”

“Well, us.” The way the word ‘us’ had rolled off his tongue so naturally made your chest tighten.

Maybe it was the fact that he had always been the one you felt most comfortable with, despite how much time you had spent with them all.

“In my dream you and I were standing on the surface of Jupiter's moon.”

“The moon? So, not even Jupiter? Isn’t that kind of strange?”

“Not really, maybe we’re just capable of reaching even bigger heights than others dream of.”

“Maybe… you’re so optimistic.”

“I try to be,” he paused for a moment, finally bringing his gaze down to the scene of the carnival with an unreadable expression. He almost seemed sad for a moment.

“I really admire you for today.” You searched his gaze as he faced you, seeing the sincerity shining through.

“Admire? For what?”

“You did really well today, I know you’re probably gonna say it wasn’t that big of a deal but it should be.” His voice was full of warmth and affection and you found yourself sinking back into the seat.

That weird, fuzzy feeling he always gave you returned and you couldn’t bring yourself to fight him on it.

“I… thanks, Kai. I’m kind of proud of myself, too?” It came out as more of a question and he frowned slightly. It had always been difficult for you to acknowledge your own small victories.

But then you smiled, “I don’t think I could have enjoyed it as much as I did without you guys.”

Kai felt himself grow more at ease with your words and your presence bringing a familiar comfort. With a yawn, he looked back up to the stars and brought a hand up to point toward the sky.

“…In my dream, we were floating. It was really weird but we were weightless, I guess. But we were free together.”

Just like before, the word together had you holding your breath.

“I think it showed me what I already knew, though.”

“What is that?”

His finger that was pointing at the sky had been brought down slowly, pointing towards the two of you in a back and forth motion.

“That we’re tethered together here, too.”

The drum in your heart seemed to be reaching its crescendo in the moment, feeling as if your heart was trying to jump out of your chest and climb in to hug his.

“Y-You think so?”

Kai nodded, a comfortable smile on his face. You found yourself focusing on the crease by his mouth and how much you liked it among all his other features.

Everything about him was so perfectly crafted.

“When I met you there was a feeling of… inevitability? Maybe I was hoping that there was, hoping for that moment when you would look at me in a certain way and we would be something more.”

“Did it ever come?” His eyes caught yours and saw the same hope reflecting back at him, motivating him to breathe out the words he had echoing in his mind.

“I think this is it, don’t you?”

The sounds of laughter and music drifted up to meet the both of you, mingling with the gentle creaking of the wheel as it turns.

“I… think so too.”

Even though there wasn’t any need to say it, even though there was already a mutual understanding, Kai couldn’t help but say what he had been waiting to for so long.

“…I love you, Y/N.”

“Really?” For a brief moment, he had worried if there was ever a moment he had made you feel unloved. Worried if he had ever given you a reason to doubt him.

“Truly. I think you were always meant to know me a little better than everyone else,” he started with a small laugh.

“And I think I was meant to make sure everyone else knows you too, because you’re something too precious to be hidden.”

Coming into your life, Kai was taught a love he wasn’t sure he would experience in his life— and he thought, there was a sense of ownership in knowing.

Kai had let you in and you claimed parts of him— unknowingly flying your flag over uncharted territory like the pioneer you had always been.

And in knowing him, you knew that the two of you melted into each other, from then onward ceasing to belong wholly to yourselves and instead sharing custody of the others’ hearts.

“I feel the same way.” Your heart had been going almost too fast for your mind to catch up, bringing the Molang plush up to your face as you let out a silent scream.

Kai laughed at this, tugging on it to pull it away from your face.

“You can’t look at me now?”

Your eyes met and all the embarrassment on your face was replaced with pure admiration seeing Kai with a backdrop of stars. How perfectly at home he seemed among them.

“I love you too… Kai, really.”

He hummed, poking your cheek. “I’m relieved.”

Suddenly he let out a nervous laugh, “really relieved, actually. I think I was more nervous about this ride than you.”

“Yeah, right..”

There was a moment for silence as the wheel began its descent, the music growing louder and louder as it went down.

A part of you wished you had the ability to freeze the moment forever, to stay with him.

“Y/N, let’s promise to go to Callisto in this world too. Together. Then our feet never have to touch the ground.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ strangers in the dark.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 3k ✧ angst , fluff

After so many promises and plans that had fallen through, you found your heart couldn’t take anymore empty words. In this realization, you found yourself.

That night, you made a promise to distance yourself. Although he never confronted you about it, you could see it on his face that he knew.

With each passing day, his smile grew smaller and smaller until eventually it was left to its’ default state.

When you had decided to leave, bag stuffed with your most precious items, it had become obvious you didn’t intend on coming back.

In truth, Beomgyu grew a bit bitter at this— to let someone into his life completely only for them to come in and leave him feeling robbed.

It was neither of your faults, he tried to convince himself.

You both knew that wasn’t true.

The two of you had fallen in love through screens, through satellites that carried your words across the aching void.

An all consuming void put between the two of you by a cruel twist of fate when everything was seemingly going so well.

Night after night, you spoke about hands on bodies and lips on skin. How your dreams were filled with the memory of each other and how it was just almost as good as the real thing.

And after the silence, you would think of all the girls made of flesh and bone within his arm’s reach.

Girls far away from the place you two had grown up— girls much more experienced and well versed in the world.

It was through that screen you learned that to love someone completely was to learn from them until their traits become your own.

Texting patterns begin to change and you find yourself repeating things you’d originally never said.

There was many things he had stolen from you besides your heart. Stealing pieces of you like a thief until you became nameless in his memory.

It wasn’t hard to believe that things had to change, looking back you found yourself incredibly stupid.

The seasons changed and your heart flipped with the anticipation that maybe, just maybe, you would finally be able to spend them together— any one, you weren’t picky.

Completely stupid and gullible to believe things could last with someone like him. Someone so otherworldly.

You wondered how you could be so afraid of losing something that was no longer yours.

People changed as well, you knew. Yet he always seemed the same. Maybe that was more painful to acknowledge— that he had never changed and he remained the same boy you had fallen in love with running down school hallways.

But the thing is you knew was that you still wanted to be with him because forever and always in your heart, he remained that boy you fell in love with in the safety of his bed. Incense on vinyls shelves be damned. You never loved the gentle strumming of the guitar more.

Despite the glowing screens growing to burn your eyes through the darkness until you couldn’t keep them open anymore.

Despite the undeniable fact that he had become something— someone so much bigger than himself at 15.

You never thought about it in the moment, how neither of you had said goodbye to the other. Without any words you had shared one knowing glance from the doorway.

Desperately you wanted him to reach out to you, to say something that would make you stay. To make another promises that you knew he couldn’t keep.

In loving him so deeply, being apart from him almost hurt as badly as being with him.

The rust that grew between telephones brought you to a new realization: one that had nausea bubbling deep down inside of you.

It was worse to be nothing with him than to have him at all.

Neither of you had called the other, not attempting any contact no matter how badly the two of you wanted to hear each other’s voice.

How could you go from calling someone everyday to not remembering the last digit of their number?

The amount of times you thought about that night since could be counted on your hands, pushing the memory far into the past with the desperate refusal to dig it up.

Because you had found that night, crying in your car with your head in your hands that with time: no matter how many times you went over it, there was never a solution for the two of you.

You could run back inside, tell him that it was all some sort of prank. And you knew that he would laugh along even though he knew it wasn’t true.

It was after that you worried about. Would it have just been the same? You were sure that the two of you would fall into the same pattern.

Confessions of loneliness and promises of company would be echoed over and over, the two of you swearing to the other that you would try.

Maybe the few times you were together you would make the most of it, claiming to make up for lost time before he was inevitably whisked away to the airport again to fly out and have experiences you could only dream of.

Sometimes during those times you kicked around with bliss and he would take your foot into his hand and kiss the tips of your feet. A small playful gesture that made you stick out your tongue in some mangled expression of disgust. And he’d just laugh, glad to have you at all.

But when he would be gone in the early mornings and you wouldn’t hear from him until he fell asleep next to you again that night and you knew that those moments could never last.

Even though you knew it wasn’t his fault— his job was incredibly demanding of him, after all, you still found yourself growing to resent him a bit. How completely unfair you had been to your love.

Despite that, you couldn’t let go of him.

For some reason, his mouth was always so specific. He always knew how to hurt you with it, in subtle ways.

“Your lips taste like coffee,”

“Bitter?”

“No, sweet.”

Whenever you would say that, he’d scrunch his nose and call you a loser: always endearingly. And when he used to kiss you, you found yourself never wanting to give yourself to another.

Now any lips you met felt tainted.

Bitter with the lust of superficial attraction.

These flings had you convinced that he had ruined your sense of touch because all you could ever feel was him and the faint scent of coffee.

As winter gave way to summer, the dust motes dancing in the sunlight blurred into pixels, and you gave your heart to a photograph.

The edges were bent from being tucked away into bags and drawers, places you swore you’d never look again only to stumble upon it months later when you swear that you’re finally healing and you find yourself crumbling all over again.

Did the boy in the photograph exist still? Surely he was more mature, maybe he was cooler.

Maybe he made sure to match his socks now and maybe the playlist once named after you had remained untouched.

If you wanted to, a quick search engine could give you all of the answers you desperately needed but you knew the harm would outweigh the good.

You wondered if he was taking care of himself properly, eating as much as he’d promised. You wondered if the same songs remained on his favorite playlist or if they too grew bitter to hear with time.

And everything in you screamed at you to call him. As the numbers grew fuzzy, uncertainty taking over as you’d trail off and your fingers hovered over the button.

You knew that you shouldn't have but just when you’d pull away, the memory of a boy brought you back to the idea. Sitting, finger shaking over the button.

The memory of a boy sitting at a bus stop, large headphones providing an extra barrier for his ears to hide in underneath his hair.

From the side, for a moment, he almost looked like Beomgyu.

And as the bus pulled up, the puddle of rain water splashing over the curb and onto your new shoes. There was an ache as you hoped, hoping for something.

Then, the boy looked up and the ache in your heart was replaced with one of disappointment and the feeling of wet socks.

It was quite ironic that these encounters had always happened when it came to your means of transportation.

A boy across the train, head down as he was off in his own land dreaming of something. You almost craned your neck to look over his neighbors and see if maybe, just maybe, it was him.

In the end, the thought of being caught sent a shiver of embarrassment down your spine and your pride overtook any sense of hope as you kept your own head low instead.

It was these boys that had brought you back to him, these and many more than didn’t share any similarities with him at all.

Because even after all the time apart, you searched for parts of him in every one. Everything in you led back to him.

Suddenly, no one had better taste than him.

You found yourself growing grotesquely optimistic at the sight of his favorite snacks, only for them to grimace and tell you that theirs are surely better.

In the car, playing a song he had always loved, only for them to turn the volume down.

‘So I can hear you better.’ They’d say.

You’re sure it was to quiet your humming.

Maybe it was because he was in everything, always that you found yourself fighting to break that promise.

Finally, for a moment, allowing yourself to think back on the night you left. To feel the ache of regret that had always been lingering.

And so you broke your promise, the line ringing to a number that may not even connect to him anymore.

In the late night, calling a stranger in the dark.

“…Y/N?” Your breath hitched at his voice— a confirmation that you hadn’t forgotten his number. That you hadn’t forgotten the most minuscule and important parts of him.

“You— hi. Hi.” Behind the screen you slapped yourself for the word. After so much time had passed, that was all you could bring yourself to say.

Beomgyu propped himself up on his elbow, the neon light of his alarm clock flashing 3:30 AM.

“Do you know how l—” the tired yet teasing tone in his voice was prominent as you scrambled to bring something else up, embarrassment increasing by the second.

Because you were a fool to disturb him so late, when you knew he loved sleeping more than he ever loved you.

“Sorry, sorry. Just…”

There was silence as he waited for you to continue.

You hated the sound of your own shaky breaths.

“…How was your day?”

And to your relief, you heard him chuckle.

“Really? That’s the first thing you say after hi?”

Still tense, you attempted to loosen yourself up as you leaned back into bed.

He was— you imagined— lying down on his arm in bed, tangled in that gray and white patterned blanket that you swore you hated because it was ‘so bland’.

You’d rather die than tell him you bought that same patterned comforter just last week.

“Well… we haven’t talked in a while.”

“8 months, actually.”

You smiled.

“You counted?”

“Does it matter?”

And like it always did, the doubt came crashing down over your head as you sat upright.

As if that would snap you out of it. As if that would somehow distract you from the glowing rays of your phone— from his voice.

“…I can’t remember your laugh. In only 8 months.”

Beomgyu hummed, his voice groggy as he spoke. “…Really? Maybe I didn’t laugh at you much then, because I remember yours.”

You shook your head, “you were always funnier than me.”

The fact that he was entertaining you without explicitly asking what you wanted, you found yourself grateful for the soft spot he seemed to still hold for you.

Because you knew if it were anyone else, he’d be annoyed.

“I miss all the screw ups we had,” you admitted.

“I miss getting angry at you— I hope you know that you never deserved it but… I still miss it. I miss feeling something for someone. For you.”

Despite how late it was, your voice had him following your every word as he waited for the final confession that he wanted to hear.

“You’re the best I’ve ever had. Probably ever will have. I’m…” you tried your best to cry, realizing how completely unfair that would be to him.

How it would destroy him all over again as you did months before, walking out that door, knowing that he’d break his back to make you smile.

“Even when we’re miles away, I knew you’d still want me. I never really… acknowledged how kind you were to me. How loyal you were. Even when I was acting completely irrational because of the distance you were so, so patient.”

For Beomgyu, the compliments felt hollow. Not stemming from the idea that you didn’t mean them— he knew that you did, the sincerity in your voice was hard to miss.

But it was because he couldn’t believe them himself.

Beomgyu was sure that there was more he could have done to satisfy you, to give you what he knew you deserved.

Maybe if he had worked harder, the company would afford him a more flexible schedule and he would have had more free time to devote to you.

It was something the two of you would have argued about before and it seems, still argue about now, yet with time it seems that you’ve traded perspectives.

“No one else, just you.”

“…just me.”

Anxiously, you picked at your nails. It was a habit that you had picked up recently, one you knew you’d never really kick on your own.

There was a scale in your mind weighing the options. You could continue to dance around the topic of that thing you had once shared, briefly, in passing or you could come clean.

“…What did you think when you saw my face for the first time?”

He laughed again, seeming to grow more into his usual self (or the part of his ‘self’ that you remembered— the part of him that you loved).

“So that’s why you called? I didn’t realize you were such a narcissist.” Those words hurt, though you deserved them.

“Can you just entertain me, Gyu? Please?”

The desperation in your voice along with the slight waver had him breathing in, his own breath hitching just for a moment.

The old nickname almost made him smile as he covered his mouth with a yawn.

One thing he hated was being woken up, especially so early and yet somehow, for some reason, he still agreed.

“I think it felt like something was going to end,”

“Like some sort of foreshadowing?”

“Or, something was gonna begin again.”

“How does that work?” He laughed again, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes once more.

“I didn’t know what it was, but I knew from the moment I saw you that it was the end of boredom forever.”

For the first time since you had left, you felt your heart strings being tugged like the strings of his guitar.

Unlike the music he once played for you so skillfully, nothing played this time and you were left with the deafening silence.

In that silence, you had come to face the exact thing that you were afraid of.

You loved him for saying that. And for the intermittent years that the two of you spent entangled, you knew that he loved you back.

Beomgyu had always loved you in his own way. When he promised his time and attention to you— he always meant it.

Whether he could follow through with it didn’t matter because in the end: he wanted to.

Desperately he wanted to give to you what he knew you deserved.

And by letting you walk out that night, he believed that was what he had done.

In the end, there was always love.

Then came the crossed wires, the signal jam.

The static that grew between the two of you was dull, murmuring protest. And you would question if there were others just like you, who had found themselves caught in his orbit.

Those girls so close to him you found yourself envious of, though he never spared them a second glance. Were their worlds revolving around him as well? It was hard to believe that they weren’t.

Whether you were just another celestial body, sent up from the ground; when the moon—the original satellite— was the only one he saw from where he was standing.

In the quiet of the night, he closed his eyes as he desperately wished on that satellite.

And you wished too.

Because you loved him, in the way you walk a tightrope. In the way people learn to fall asleep in a war zone.

You could ask why so many times, but you would never get an answer. And that is when the words would come.

“I’m sorry I called so late,” you started.

“It’s okay—”

“I’m sorry for everything, Beomgyu. Really, I—“

Before you could begin to express all of your regrets to him, his voice cut you off. Gentle and just as dreamy as your misty memory remembered it.

“Y/N. It’s okay.”

And without asking again, you decided to trust him enough to believe him.

The worry you had that you were maybe too late because you didn’t know how to talk to him washed away.

Because you didn’t know how to ask him if he was okay— didn’t know how to tell him you were so afraid of losing him until he lost you.

And unknowingly, with the press of a single button, you had calmed his worries too.

Providing him the chance to tell you all the things he never could.

And so he did, sitting up in his bed and talking into his phone in a hushed tone, away from prying ears just how you had many nights before across countries and states.

The night that he told you how much light had left his life when you were no longer part of it.

How he just hoped you realized how much you meant to him, always.

“I was sad that you were gone but I couldn’t be angry. I just wished that I could remind you of how beautiful you are, in case you forgot.”

A reminder he always echoed to you in those days, worshipping every inch of you. ‘From your head to your toes.’

And his smile was so mischievous, as if encouraging you to argue back so he could convince you all over again.

“I never wanted you to think I gave up on you, Y/N. So I'm sorry I haven't told you in so long.”

“Told me..?”

You found yourself wishing that he would crack some jokes to ease the situation instead, but he wouldn’t. He had always been so unusually serious when it came to comforting you.

“That I will never give up on you. My arms are wide open. There’s always a place for you here.”

In the same fashion that he always knew how to break you— he always seemed to know how to put you back together again.

With his love that was so teasingly mean to your poor bruised heart, he’d patch you up better than anyone ever could have.

“I thought about calling you so many times. I’m sorry I took so long. I think I.. I think I was scared.”

“Of me?” He asked jokingly.

“Yes.” You answered honestly.

Running away from him, you had given so much to things that weren't worth your time.

When all along, it was the one loved that you should have carried.

And all bitterness that grew overtime was now directed towards yourself. Because he had never given up on you— it was you who had given up on him.

It was him who broke the silence.

“Last night, I dreamed we did our laundry together.”

The abrupt confession has you laughing, especially when you recalled the days you actually had done your laundry together.

Washing machine bubbles overflowing as you slipped around on soapy suds, trying to clean up the mess he had made.

Eventually, he decided to stick to being your company sitting next to you as he watched you fold.

“You did?”

And he thought of the way you organized things, folding the clothes with such care and separating them into piles secluded by color.

How you’d throw the pair of socks that you just washed at his face as you told him to change into a matching pair because nothing irritated you more than the hole in his sock.

“When I woke up, I felt sad that it couldn’t happen anymore.”

And you wanted to ask why it couldn’t, but you knew that wasn’t your place anymore.

When the two of you were in love, there was nothing else but the yearning to be close to the other. Over the phone, over the distance.

The presence was felt through a voice heard and a screen held.

Despite the dead phone lines, your souls didn’t have internal clocks or calendars, nor did they understand the notion of time or distance. They only knew that it felt right to be with one another.

Maybe that was why you had been searching for him all along, in every passing train window and the lyrics of every song.

That was always the reason why you missed him so much when he wasn’t there— even if he was only in the very next room.

And the even greater distance you had put between the two of you seemed to serve as a lesson.

Your soul would always feel his absence—it just doesn’t realize that the separation is temporary.

Hesitantly, you look down at your phone to the time. Half of you had the heart to ignore it, as selfish as that was. It was getting later into the morning and soon, Beomgyu would have to be up for his daily activities.

“I should go.” You said awkwardly, cursing yourself for never being clever enough and being so utterly predictable.

He hummed, “can I ask you something first?”

You found yourself smiling at the idea that maybe, just maybe, he didn’t want to hang up as much as you did. For the night, you let yourself believe in that.

“Anything.”

“Why is it every time we say good night, it feels like goodbye?”

“It doesn’t have to.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s not say goodnight then. Let’s just fall asleep like this.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ sparks.

Watching the fireworks with Yeonjun, nothing is as sweet as the final comedown.

જ⁀➴♡ wc 700 : drabble ✧ fluff , comfort

It was raining on the day that you met Yeonjun. With your hair wet and tangled, with droplets of water sliding down your cheeks like crystal teardrops and the uncomfortable feeling of sopping wet clothes clinging to your body.

It was in the midst of the longest you had gone without human contact when you met him; without the soft, conceding warmth of someone else's skin. The rain felt much colder alone.

You began to crave it after a while, missing the comfort one could provide. Missing the ability to obsess over the most trivial things they shared with you.

The small things like a hand on your shoulder or breakfast with company in the morning seemed much warmer in the past of your recollected memories.

When you met Yeonjun, it had been in the middle of wondering how long it would be before you’d lose all recollection of that love.

It was in the lobby of the office’s building the two of you crossed paths, both seemingly recovering from the torrential downpour outside.

Maybe it was the position you were in at that time of your life, or maybe it was just his smile.

You realized that there was penance in yearning and the poverty that comes from pining for someone, rich only in the love that you gave away.

It was in the first time meeting him that you came to realize, sometimes the loneliest place to be is in love.

It changed the more you saw each other. Two strangers shaking from the rain somehow agreed to reunite in any weather, to experience it all together.

It was one sunny day when he took your trembling hands in his, placing a gentle kiss to your wrist as his eyes peered up at you with devotion.

“You’re safe with me.”

His touch was sweet like a memory of something long gone and you wanted to fold yourself into his arms like origami to stay with him forever, perfectly placed in his heart.

He tells you how precious you are to him and that he will spoil you with love if you allow him to.

It happened just like that.

One day you met him and for some inexplicable reason, you felt more connected to this stranger than anyone else.

No matter how you tried to find the reason, to understand the importance of your meeting, you always came up short.

Perhaps it was because Yeonjun carried an angel within him in your eyes.

Yeonjun, an angel sent to you for some higher purpose, to keep you safe during a perilous time.

To heal and gently put back together a heart that he did not break.

Regardless of the reasoning, you made the conscious decision to trust him.

Even if he came hand in hand with pain or suffering, you decided to risk it all for his smile.

Finding that the reason for his presence in your life will become clear in due time.

And as you grew to love him, you came to realize that his purpose isn't to save you but to show you how to save yourself.

And once this was fulfilled, the halo lifted but the glow in your heart remained all the same.

After the fireworks come down, the smell of gunpowder lingered and his arm pulled you into him, bodies coming together. Overwhelming your senses now with only him.

“It's so dark right now, I can't see any light around me.”

In the darkness, you felt the wind catch in your hair as your nose twitched at the cold.

The hushed whispers around you were drowned out by your favorite laugh, his lips coming down to press against your forehead gently.

“That's because the light is coming from you. You can't see it but I can.”

You had always thought that the feeling of joy Yeonjun gave you was a prelude to something wonderful— something greater than yourselves.

Like seeing a shooting star or getting a text from an old friend when you weren't expecting one, the unexpected but welcome development of love— the swift, surprising transition from nothing to everything.

A fleeting feeling that held a world of promise.

And then the light pierced through the dark as the rain stopped falling, leaving only the sparks of the fireworks behind.

And all the while, he held you whispering his confessions of love under them all.

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ

PHONING... 𓂃 ࣪˖ carnival.

Essentially becoming a shut-in due to your extreme fear of crowds, your friends are determined to take you out and show you how much fun things can be.

path unlocked: [ star song.] replay? ✧

જ⁀➴♡ wc 1k ✧ fluff , humor , comfort

As you inch closer to the front of the line, the rhythmic clinking of the cars ascending and descending fills your ears.

Standing before the entrance, the worker looked at you expectantly before glancing at the boys behind you. You turned to face them and they all gave you an encouraging smile, each one as sweet as the one before.

“So, who’s it gonna be?”

Looking at each of them, it felt almost impossible to pick just one. The feeling that everyone was waiting on you made you even more anxious, the idea of annoying the people around you getting your nerves up even more.

“Hey, Y/N it’s fine. Take your time.” Taehyun commented.

The small smile he gave you was enough to have you letting out a sigh of relief. “I think…”

As they looked at you expectantly, you frowned. There was no way that you could choose just one of them without feeling bad for leaving the others out.

“I think… I-I don’t think I want to go on it anymore.”

Turning to the attendant with an apologetic look, you gave a quick apology before walking away, ushering the boys out of the line.

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Yeonjun asked, looking back with a concerned look toward you.

“If you’re too overwhelmed we can head out,” Soobin started.

Shaking your head as the six of you find a place behind a nearby tent, you shook your head. “I’m fine! I’m having fun!”

Kai tilted his head slightly at your tone. It was fairly obvious you had became overwhelmed, even if you refused to admit it.

Your heart was coming down from the anxiety of holding up the line as you looked back at the ride, seeing the couples and families climb aboard.

In truth, you didn’t want to go on it that badly but the embarrassment from not being able to make such a seemingly simple choice had you flustered.

“Why don’t we get out of here anyways?” Taehyun offered.

You gave him a quizzical look, fiddling with the end of your shirt. “Where would we even go?”

Beomgyu shrugged, “why don’t we just go look at the stars?“

The suggestion was simple but it had caught your attention, looking up. All night the carnival seemed to distract from the natural beauty around you.

A part of you felt ashamed for not taking a moment to appreciate them.

Taehyun nodded. “Soobin still has some blankets in the truck, I think.”

“That I do,” Soobin said with a huff. “My poor napping blanket.”

“Come on, you big baby. I’ll wash it when we get home.” Yeonjun said, nudging the taller boy as he let out a huff.

You laughed, shooting him a grateful look. “Thank you, Soobin.”

As your group of friends began to weave through the carnivals crowd for the final time, the chaos began to fade into the distance.

Taehyun and Kai’s gentle hold on your hands had you sending them grateful looks.

Laughter and the faint echoes of carnival music lingered in the air as you all left behind the colorful lights and bustling rides.

Excitedly, Beomgyu walked backwards as he continued to ramble about a topic you couldn’t follow at all.

Seemingly, him and Soobin were arguing over who was better at the game they both played.

“Quit fighting!” Yeonjun called after them.

Ahead, the wide field was bathed in the soft glow of moonlight.

Even with the music in the distance, it was peaceful. Tall grass swayed gently in the breeze.

There was a rhythmic whisper that accompanied all of your footsteps as you found an area to settle down at.

Yeonjun and Taehyun set out the blankets as you and Kai gently nudged each other, pointing out the stars you could already see much clearer.

Soobin and Beomgyu seemed to continue their previous antics as they stumbled around chasing each other.

The scent of earth and grass filled the air and you took a deep breath in, finally feeling your heart settle for the first time that night.

The faint aroma of the carnival treats were finally left behind and as you sat down, Beomgyu basically crashing down next to you, you laughed.

You had once heard a story once about lovers who kept finding each other, no matter how many times the world came between them.

Even when they were cursed for the rest of eternity, transformed into stardust and placed scattered far apart throughout the galaxy.

Parts of them still found each other in the vastness of space.

In this story, rather than previous lovers, you had seen your friends.

Your bodies were made of stardust, and you were hurtling through space and time, toward the most beautiful collision. Yet each and every time, no matter what— you would find each other.

The night sky stretched endlessly, a canvas adorned with countless stars. Tired conversations ensued until you were all lying down, laughter subsiding into a familiar and comfortable silence.

Nameless stars gracefully stretched across the heavens, a river of light that seemed to flow from one horizon to the other. Endless.

In this moment of awe and wonder, you found yourself hoping that this moment could be endless as well.

Each star seemed to twinkle with its own secret, beckoning you to explore the mysteries of the cosmos.

You, Soobin and Yeonjun began to make up names and stories for the stars as Taehyun stifled Kai’s laughter in attempt to not wake a sleeping Beomgyu.

The air was crisp and clear, carrying with it a sense of tranquility that enveloped you all like a warm embrace.

In this moment, surrounded by the vast expanse of the night sky, you were reminded of the beauty of the universe.

No matter how overwhelming things had gotten, no matter how big and scary the world truly was— you would always find yourself back here in this familiar patch of grass with your friends.

With Soobin’s tired head on your shoulder and Beomgyu fast asleep on your thighs.

The gentle hum from Yeonjun and Taehyun accompanied by the squeeze Kai had given your hand.

The contented chatter of crickets and the slow, rhythmic song of cicadas.

If you could describe happiness, it would be that moment the universe had conjured up for you.

Served to you like some sort of cosmic apology for all that you have been through, and all that you had missed out on.

If you could take from all the possibilities, that moment would be the one you would always choose to bring into fruition.

And yet, you were well aware that the world spun too quickly and it turns too slowly as you waited and waited for the moment to transact into memory.

Eventually, the day would come when you could no longer tell the difference between this memory and a dream.

You found your own eyes growing heavy as your hand stilled in Beomgyu’s hair, coming up to your mouth to stifle a yawn.

Despite the acknowledgment that this, too, would end, you found the timeless connection of the stars omnipresent in your friendship.

As the stars watched over you all, unwillingly drifting to sleep together, a part of you confirmed what you had always known.

The six of you would always find each other, no matter if it was a dream or a memory.

There was nothing to grieve over in this moment. There was just love.

“Do you think there is the possibility of you and I?” The star asked.

“In this lifetime, is that too much to hope for?”

“There is something so delicate about time, so fragile.” The moon had started.

“If nothing ever comes of us, at least I have known this feeling, this wonderful sense of optimism that you have gifted to me.” The sun chimed in.

“You have given me something I can always keep close to me—to draw from in my darkest hour like a ray of unspent sunshine.” The moon commented.

“The love we share, it will be carried on by us through generations. It will be passed on and felt, the pieces of each other that we have borrowed and spent will be remembered.” The sun had finished.

“No matter what happens next, I will always be glad to know there is someone like you in the world.” The star said.

“Thank you for loving me.”

જ⁀➴♡ phone in ᝰ.ᐟ