Its Never Too Early To Start Stalking Your Next Meal

It’s never too early to start stalking your next meal

Every seemingly innocuous decision may have extreme consequences. In this example, deciding to go along section 36 instead of 34 on your way back from using the restroom just cost you your life. The second you saw this fraternity, you knew that had been you had your final decision: futile struggle, or accepting the inevitable

Looks like a nice beefy meal to me

We all have that one co-worker we wouldn’t exactly mind eating us, right?

“Look man, nobody’s this nice without expecting something in return. So tell me straight, do you keep buying me drinks just so it’ll be easier to eat me later?”

“No, actually I’m doing this so it’ll be easier for you. Would you rather I eat you now? You’re already too drunk to drive and I’m the only sober one here, so even if you try to leave you’re gonna find yourself halfway up a state trooper’s ass which will be far less enjoyable than what I have in store. So if I were you, I’d drink up and enjoy your last night outside of my gut”

“Cheers to that, I guess”

If you show a pred your foot

Don’t be surprised when he starts to tastes it

When he’s got it in his mouth

Don’t be surprised when he swallows the rest of you

When he swallows the rest of you

Don’t be surprised when he doesn’t let you out

When he doesn’t let you out

Don’t be surprised when he starts to digest you

When a pred’s done digesting

Don’t be surprised when he’s hungry again