*spoilers For One Day*

*spoilers for One Day*

For people saying ‘it’s tragic, Dex and Em only got 3 years together’ no. They got 15 years together.

Glossing over the span of their life together to sum it up as ‘only 3 years together’ misses all the love and time they had together that wasn’t solely romantic.

Why is their relationship only ‘important’ or ‘counts’ when it’s a romantic one? Maybe there was always romantic love buried in there or growing steadily but there was a whole lot of platonic love there too.

For 15 years they were the most important person in the world to one another, they described each other as their ‘best friend’ and the person they reached out to at every high and low moment. And for the last 3 of those years they were also a couple.

There are loads of examples of Dex reaching out to Em when he’s at his lowest: the last birthday with his mum, then he’s reeling from his divorce, when he’s scared people will hate him on TV. And you *could* read that as pathetic and Em being his emotional crutch, with Dex latching into her. But you could *also* see that as when you’re struggling and low, you just want your best friend. Because they *get* you. And part of being a best friend is being there in those low moments.

And Em has done the same with Dex, just in different ways. That first year out of uni Em had no idea what she was doing; in a job she couldn’t wait to leave, a relationship that didn’t make her happy, not sure where she was going in life or what she was doing. Em writes to Dex often, and doesn’t need him to reply to her, just to read her letters and be *her* emotional crutch and person to vent to.

Even at that breakup-dinner, Em has things she ‘needs to talk about’ and she’s reached out to Dex to do it. We don’t see her discussing it with Tilly, we see her trying to talk about it with Dex. She’s at arguably her lowest moment (hates her job, hates her partner, hates her home) and she wants her best friend to listen to her. Just like he did when she was 24 and thinking about giving up and leaving London, and Dex convinced her to stay and keep going.

So they are emotional crutches *to one another*. That’s also part of being someone’s best friend.

And for all the low moments Dex also wanted to share his best moments with her too: when he’s excited about the TV pilot he calls Em to say ‘the only person I want to share this with is you’, and begs Em to find a way to be there. Yes this is also him dismissing and ignoring her achievements, yes this is self absorbed and rude and at the height of his egomania, but in that moment of triumph he only wants his best friend there with him.

When they see one another again at Tilly’s wedding Em is brave and self assured when she reveals she’s ‘thought of you every day, missed you every day’, and that even though they are friends again now the fact that Dex will have a wife and child ‘feels a bit like loosing you all over again. Because people with families have different priorities…’ That’s how close they were before.

The sentiment that ‘we grew up together’ is really true, for the both of them. They were very different people throughout their lives, and if they had tried to be a romantic couple earlier there is no guarantee that version of them would have lasted the course.

Would Emma have stayed with a peak-of-his-tv-fame Dex, partying and living life ‘to the full’? Or would they have explosively ended and decided they were too different for one another for it to ever work?

Would Dex have even tried for a career in TV or a full year of travelling if he’d become a couple with Emma after Uni? Or would he have done something else but grown resentful of what-could-have-been?

If they had sorted out their issues and apologised after their fight and Em had left Ian, would Em have found the strength to turn rock bottom into a spring board and finally write her book? Would she have even hit that bottom at all? Or would the hook have remained a pipe dream while she continued as a teacher, happy with Dex but professionally unfulfilled?

We will never know what could have been, and that doesn’t necessarily make those alternatives the ‘better’ option that they ‘missed out on’.

Maybe they would only ever have had 3 years together as a couple and getting it in their mid 30’s the way they did was their most mature and peaceful version.

So yes at times their relationship feels like it’s moving toward the inevitable conclusion of a romantic partnership. But the time before they get there wasn’t wasted or unimportant or unnecessary. And they were always together.

Loving the complexity of Madeline Ushers character: a woman who declares she doesn’t want to be limited by men, who’s life is defined at every turn by the decisions and actions of her brother.

……

Madeline Usher is doomed by her attachment to her brother, and it is the root of all her eventual pain.

When Verna offers them the deal, it’s Roderick who ‘charges forward, straight at it’ and accepts the terms despite the fact that the only ‘next generation’ they current have are his kids. Madeline agrees afterwards but only once Rodrick makes it know he is already in. I don’t think she’d have gone for it if he had objected, she’s always had a very ‘both of us or neither’ kind of attitude.

And then she is as much these kids parent (from what we have seen) as Roderick is. Granted we see next to nothing of the kids biological mothers so we have to assume they weren’t very involved (either by their choice or other circumstance) with their kids after Rodrick got his claws into them.

That first scene when we meet Perry Madeline and Roderick are equally dismissive of him, but she is the one asking questions and prompts: you’ve had a year to come up with an idea, is this it or is there more? How are you going to make this successful? Why will your pitch be different? She even asks Roderick to jump in ‘anytime now’ to help her handle this train wreck. And Rodrick has just received the news he’s dying but I think it’s telling that Perry is looking at both of them for validation, for support. They are equally intimidating but equally supporting him.

With Camille we don’t get 1-2-1 interactions between her and her father (despite her own obsession with winning his approval) but we do get a scene with Madeline. After Perry’s death Camille lobbies to be given the power to lead the family’s PR response, and Madeline takes her seriously and asks what she would do. When Camille lays out her plan it’s Madeline who gives a proud nod of approval and okays her actions.

Leo unfortunately gets no parental interactions from either senior Usher. Victorine only gets it right at the end just before her monstrous actions are revealed. Otherwise all she gets from Roderick is pressure and the interactions of an investor, not a father.

Tammy gets the most parental interaction from Madeline, which is tragic as she’s trying to show her father that she can be the heir to his empire. But her aunt is the one who shows up to her presentation, who gives her the pep talk, consoles Tammy (in her own way) about the failure of her marriage, who believes Tammy when she is terrified by someone in the crowd.

Frederik is always focused on his father so Madeline doesn’t get many moments with him, but again Roderick is more of a CEO or boss than a father: focused on how to protect the company, how to secure the future. Little to no concern or support to his son as he mourns his wife’s injuries, as he deals with his siblings deaths, as he takes on more pressure from the world and the family. Roderick only mourns his son (as opposed to his heir) after Fredrick is dead.

Added to this: the security on all the kids? Madeline arranges it. When more kids die? We see Madeline demand it be doubled. She’s the only one still fighting for them, fighting fate itself.

With Lenore we see more interactions with her and Roderick but her interactions with Madeline are just as sweet and show a close, loving relationship. Lenore even calls her Granny Madeline. And Madeline is the one planning to preserve Lenore via AI: this must have been the main reason she begged Roderick to kill himself. Not to save her to but to spare Lenore. What’s the bet that she started working on the AI project in earnest when Morelle announced she was pregnant?

Madeline tracks down the supernatural entity they made a deal with and tries to negotiate a new deal: again (now we know the original terms) this is likely for Lenore’s benefit, not hers. She faces down a power far beyond herself and tries to save or protect what’s left of her family. Not Roderick.

Madeline took steps to preserve and protect her nieces and nephews, and grand niece while her brother did next to nothing. Once you know the nature of their deal with Verna, Roderick’s attitude to his remaining children after they remember who Verna is is just baffling.

Madeline even makes reference to birth control that she took on the off chance the deal was real. She says to Tammy that she didn’t want children with her first husband and hasn’t since, but she has been a mother to Rodericks kids. This lack of biological motherhood hasn’t spared her for the heartbreak of loosing a child. Or a grandchild.

And it’s even the decision of a man (again her brother) which is going to end her family’s legacy in another way. His marriage to Juno, his treatment of her, his denial of her fight to get clean and his horrible reference to himself as Victor Frankenstein and Juno as his monster - this is what pushes her to sign away the company when she inherits it. Madeline speaks about the board choosing her and moving the company away from pharmaceuticals, into the fields of AI and tech. Sure Madeline then died but a lot of the groundwork was likely there, and it could have been a possible path for the company. If Juno didn’t inherit it all and break it apart. Because of Roderick, and the way he treated her. Once again Madeleine’s legacy is destroyed by her brothers actions.

The irony of 1970’s Madeline declaring she doesn’t want to be limited by men’s choices or by a man, taking steps to protect her self and her heart, focussing her work on things outside of medical drugs in the hope that one day that can be what they become known for… then being doomed to more heartbreak and failure by every one of her brothers careless actions is so sadly tragic.

Argh the hypocrisy, misogyny and wilful misunderstanding around women as fans is so infuriating!

Matt Rife wants to ‘assure’ people that he doesn’t ‘cater to women’ in his new comedy special. If so that is a fucking *stupid* decision.

Because if you’re an artist then a largely female fan base is a great marker for success.

Some of the most successful global artists right now? Taylor Swift. BTS (and K-pop to a greater extent). Harry Styles. Beyoncé.

The majority of their fanbase? Female.

IMPORTANT: I’m NOT saying men don’t love/support/consume these artists, or that they shouldn’t. Huge numbers of men love and support these artists, and they should continue to do so. I’m stating that the majority of these fanbases are made up of women.

And women show up for you as an artist, on every metric which currently tracks ‘success’. They stream your songs/interviews/skits; they buy your album/record/dvd; they fight over tickets and pay astronomical fees to see you live; they tune into your award shows/guest stars; they watch your movies/documentaries; they post about you and your activities; and they go to bat for you in arenas you aren’t even aware of.

The colleague at work who heard a BTS song on the radio? Oh yeah, it can be intimidating if you don’t know who they are, here let me help you understand more and show you their best attributes and why you might like to learn more.

The family member who doesn’t ‘get’ why this singer is all over their TV? No worries, let me explain their songs and why they resonate, how they connect with their fans and why they’re incredibly talented.

And when ‘real’ artists are brought up to compare them against, not only do they pick an artist who’s peak years were decades ago, they try to rewrite history.

‘Yeah they might be successful but they’re not the Beatles!’ Okay so you see the Beatles as legitimate, successful, global artists with talent. Shall we look at Beatle Mania? A huge part of their success was the women who supported them, who bought their records, showed up to their performances, who funded their financial success and drove their pop culture relevance.

‘Yes they’re a good singer but they’re not Elvis!’. Oh are you referring to ‘The Hips’ who’s gyrating style of dancing ‘drove women wild’? Who’s success in music meant he was *able* to make movies and tour the country. The women who consumed his music, came to his shows, followed his personal life in the news, who watched his movies - they’re the ones who financed his life. Guys wanted to be Elvis, to dress like him, because women loved him.

Why is having a majority female audience seen to delegitimise you as an artist? When they are the ones who got you to where you are now, why are they suddenly not good enough?

What I’ve learned about how my brain works:

About 2 weeks ago I finalised plans with my father to help me put a new fence post in my garden. The old one had rotted at the bottom, it was leaning, he said it would be the work of an afternoon to dig out the base, secure and concrete a new one and attach it to the existing fence. Date and plans confirmed, I ordered all the supplies to be collected on the day of the build.

This little bit of ‘DIY prep’ clearly activated an area of my brain which had been dormant through the winter.

That night I decided I would also like more green in my dining room: I’d seen and saved something on Pinterest several months before, so now was clearly the perfect time to make it. I ordered plastic hedge panels, cut them to size, wove them together using spare twine, wired the whole thing with spare string lights, and used green zip ties to attach fake succulents all over. I then drilled 5 large bolt holes in my wall to hang this art, ordered enough 2x4 wood to make a frame, measured and cut to size, stained it, attached corner brackets and TaDa…. 5ftx5ft wall art where 3 days before there was nothing.

So main DIY day comes and we do the thing, the new fence post is up and it’s all secure and great. Job jobed. My father leaves.

Once again my brain wakes up and goes ‘we like this accomplished feeling, more please’.

In the 5 days since the fence post was fixed I have:

Bought 2 more bags of white gravel (my front garden has needed this for almost 5 months), Put weed killer down on the existing gravel, in a garden shop sale I’ve bought 4 more large terracotta plant pots, bought 9 new summer/autumn heathers to go in them, sourced enough wood mulch, peat moss, and ericious soil to fill them all, reorganised and styled these new pots alongside my existing plant pots filled with winter/spring heathers, and weeded the rest of my front garden; ordered gravel boards to support and provide a level base for my small area of decking, sealed them and secured them to one another; researched and chosen the rose bush I will be planting in the spring; chosen and ordered enough fence paint to cover my garden (and ordered fence paint brushes), decided on the colour of my kitchen tile paint and bought foam rollers so I can start next weekend.

What I HAVE NOT DONE in the last 5 days, or the 5 before that when I first felt this dormant DIY urge:

Called my local plumber/handyman to fix the crack in my bathroom sink, which has been there since September, and means I can’t properly use said sink and have had to have a plastic bowl placed inside so I can wash my hands and/or face.

This weekend I plan to do more DIY and probably mine-sweep my local store for cheap plants to take home and ‘rescue’. Despite my best internal efforts, I will likely not call the plumber.

I don’t know why I’m like this.

I haven’t read the book and only have vague recolections of the movie (though I remember sobbing violently at several points) but I hoped I’d love Netflix’s One Day adaption. And of course I did but one of the things I loved was so unexpected.

I love how they portrayed Sylvie.

Particularly how that relationship both ended and endured. How even at the start there were issues but the small kind you want to work on and work through. She knew her family were hard work but she was on Dex’s side and wanted him to be accepted: but still knew that her opinion was the one that mattered. Dex knew he didn’t fit it but he was trying so damn hard to, and hoped that if he kept trying it would be enough eventually. And she wasn’t this demon or harpy, even people who just met her liked her. She was a nice person.

So many times when the male lead is with another woman before they eventually get together with the female lead this ‘other woman’ is portrayed as toxic, unmanageable, cruel, snobbish, etc… or even just unpleasant to be around; someone we’re happy for the male lead to leave. Maybe it helps us to support the male leads pursuit of the female lead and not confront his poor behaviour as a romantic partner if that ‘other woman’ is unlikable and we’re happy to see her gone?

But here they made it clear: Sylvie is a kind nice woman who loves Dex, and didn’t handle the crumbling of their marriage well.

It was almost voyeuristic how we saw the breakdown of her and Dex’s marriage. It seemed so bloody real. New baby, no sleep, renovating the house, all of it building up until you’re being a bitch and you know you are, and you’re apologising after the fact for what you said but you don’t know how to talk around the fact that you still meant some of the things you said. And a partner who you know is struggling with direction and purpose, and you want them to do well, but *god* you’re the one fielding questions and having to go to bat for them every time someone asks, and as a result you never feel safe to take a break or question them yourself.

And (I don’t know how intentional this was) but Dex’s joking tone which is clearly meant to relax and reassure just came across as him not taking things seriously or being trustworthy. Sylvie lists a whole range of food options for Jasmine while she’s out for the night, clearly showing she has prepped *everything* ahead of time: she isn’t leaving Dex in charge of finding or cooking Jasmine dinner, she’s leading him by the hand to the ready made stuff and telling him now to reheat it. Kind of like he’s a child too. It really shows how capable she feels he is.

And then Dex jokes about giving Jasmine crisps. He’s clearly trying to break the tense atmosphere and joke around with his wife, but it just comes across as ‘I wasn’t listening to you, I don’t realise how much work you’ve done, you were right not to trust me to cook dinner because look what I immediately suggested, you can’t rely on me’.

In all their conversations the tone of their voices just show they’re not sure how to talk to one another anymore, that they know everything they say will be taken the wrong way and so they have no idea how to speak.

It felt like no one was particularly demonised or made into a caricature. Just two people who were different, put under stress until they broke and grew apart. And Sylvie had been responding to this state of her marriage by having an affair, so she is clearly in the wrong there and the one who causes the divorce etc, but… I don’t know; here it comes across more as a plea for help or freedom in the midst of her confusion and less a lack of care or thought for Dex and her daughter (like I remember it coming across in the movies).

Even when they have the brief mention of dramatics and anger around the divorce, afterwards she’s back in the picture as a level headed co-parent: joking around to relate to Emma, sharing co-parenting pains with HER too (‘Jasmin’s learning the violin?’ ‘Yes that’s why we’re fleeing the country’). And genuinely congratulating them in their relationship and marriage.

You don’t see many ex-wives in media who are so openly concerned about how their ex-husband is handling his second wife’s death. She’s present, caring and supportive. And keeps reaching out to him well after she could be forgiven for stepping back.

So yeah I loved all of One Day and yeah it made me cry AGAIN, but I also loved how real they made those significant relationships look. How adult and complicated and messy and ‘no one was a monster/you were both wrong in different ways/there is no right and wrong’ they played out as.

Just because she wasn’t the ‘love of his life’ doesn’t mean she was a footnote either.

Ok first real post here so go easy on me.

If anyone’s been watching the Kdrama Reborn Rich, I have so many thoughts and predictions that I’m sure are going to turn out to be hilariously wrong but I just had to vent *somewhere* so forgive me my crazy ramblings. plus it’ll be fun to look back later and see how shockingly wrong I was.

But also potential spoiler warning in case I’m right about anything, plus I’ll be referencing events in the show up to episode 11.

SPOILERS

—————————————————————

So.

THE WORLD/ TIME TRAVEL/THE RULES

I think the world Yoon Hyun-woo has been reborn into, where he is now Jin Do-Jun has elements of self fulfilling prophecy and timeline correction. My evidence? Yoon Hyun-woo’s mum and the story Yoon Hyun-woo reads in the chairman’s autobiography that he shared with him as Jin Do-jun.

Jin Do-Jun is working off of the knowledge that he has from the previous OG timeline, and as such he can only make decisions based upon this. As Yoon Hyun-woo he didn’t know that his mum had bought stock: either the family never found out after she died or his Dad didn’t tell him.

So though he went to great lengths in the ‘new’ timeline to remove the reason why his mother died in the OG timeline (trying to save his fathers job, trying to ensure his father still got worker protections, finally trading and bartering leverage so that his father wouldn’t be on the picket line protesting and being beaten up on television) in an effort to save her life, he didn’t take any steps to stop his mother buying that stock or to protect its value. He also wasn’t aware how bad her mental or emotional state was in the OG timeline, and so couldn’t have predicted she would take her own life once that stock failed. And so in the ‘new’ timeline he’s blind sighted by her suicide.

So his future knowledge is limited to things he knew, and he might not know all the information about something. In those grey areas Hyun-woo knew nothing about, things can happen or could have happened to affect change. Plus in some ways the timeline will try and correct itself: In both the OG and new timeline the mother died. Some events are inevitable.

Secondly, when the chairman goes missing Do-Jun thinks he knows exactly where he will be, due to a story in the chairman’s autobiography that he read in the OG timeline as Hyun-woo. However this turns out to be wrong: the chairman is luckily nearby but not where Do-jun expects him to be and not for the reasons he thinks the chairman would be there. When Do-Jun shares the reasoning/story he knew from his life as Hyun-woo the chairman laughs, and then states it’s a good sounding story and he will use that from now on.

So Do-Jun’s knowledge from the OG timeline can be compromised or incorrect. Plus the chairman’s statement, that he will use this PR worthy story/reasoning going forward, could explain why this was the version in his autobiography that Hyun-woo read in the OG timeline. Self fulfilling prophecy, plus Do-Jun might not necessarily have the right information.

My read on this? While Do-Jun can make small changes, the larger events will still happen as the timeline corrects itself. The changes he can make are dependant on what he knows, and even that can be incorrect. And he may even *cause* some events to happen.

EPISODE 10/11 AND THE ACCIDENT

We’re made to think that in the OG timeline this crash happened and the OG chairman and Do-Jun were killed. Due to the changes Hyun-woo/Do-Jun has made as 4-2 (befriending the driver) this didn’t happen in the ‘new’ timeline. Wether this is true or not in the OG timeline I’m not sure. But if so the ‘new’ timeline will work to self correct and events will play out as if they had died.

We’ve seen the chairman is loosing mental capacity, likely a combination of the stress of the crash compounding his chronic condition. I think (once it comes to light) the siblings will use this to question his decisions regarding Do-Jun and the succession, and act to remove him as chairman. It will be as if the grandfather *had* died, but likely much more messy and dramatic within the family (due in no small part to Do-Jun’s actions in the series so far to ruin them all). Within this messy transfer of power I think Do-jun will loose much of his power and influence in company: the siblings taking the opportunity to get revenge on him for his actions in episodes 2-10. So in regards to the *succession* it will be as if Do-Jim *had* died in that crash.

But wait! In the OG timeline Do-Jun died in that first ‘accident’. And we can guess this lead to much of the tension we see between 4 and 4 Alpha and the rest of the family in the OG timeline in episode one. And why 4 Alpha wanted to ‘know the truth about the accident’. Surely this will be changed in this new timeline due to Do-jun’s survival?

No.

I think the timeline will move to correct itself.

I think there will be a second attempt on Do-Jun’s life, by the same person as the first (at this time we don’t know if this is his cousin Jin Seong-jun or Seong-Jin’s father/ Do-Jun’s uncle Jin Young-Kim: all that has been confirmed is that it’s not Seong-Juns wife, Mo Hyun-min). In this second ‘accident’ Do-jun will survive but, realising that this family member won’t stop trying to kill him and not wanting to put other friends and family at risk, he’ll decide to allow the family to think he is dead, and continue to work from the shadows to take the Jin family down. Do-Jim will realise that with his grandfather/the chairman having been removed he has lost much of his protection within the company and family, and he might not survive a further attempt on his life.

Do-jun will go into hiding, I think only telling his CEO friend Mason Oh that he’s alive and working to take Soonyang down. And once the ‘new’ timeline’s Hyun-woo turns up at Soonyang, Do-jun can use this resemblance to move around the place practically unnoticed: why would you think it’s Do-jun who’s been famously dead for 15 years? Much more likely to be a minor employee wandering where he shouldn’t be.

In essence I think the ‘new’ timeline we are in will eventual become the OG timeline, with some small changes. Think Harry Potter time turner rules: small things can change, but the overall narrative remains.

This second ‘accident’ will take the place of the first from the OG timeline: in this ‘new’ timeline Do-Jun’s mother 4-alpha will be suspicious of foul play as she overheard Do-jun and his father confirming the first accident was an assassination attempt. This will lead to the family breaking ties with the Jin’s until 2022, when 4-alpha once again returns for answers, offering her shares in the company as a bribe for the one who knows the truth.

The second ‘accident’ and Do-jun’s supposed death will cause Seo Min-young ( the prosecutor) to shut herself off enough to become the cold and focused person we saw in the OG timeline, and explains why she has a target on the Soonyang company: in this ‘new’ timeline she also knows the first ‘accident’ was planned and so will believe that her boyfriend has been killed by his family.

And my final out there prediction….

THE KILLERS IDENTITY

The whole series the main background mystery has been ‘which family member killed Hyun-woo in the OG timeline?’.

I think… Do-jun killed himself/hyun-woo in the OG timeline, and will order the hit on the Hyun-woo in this ‘new’ timeline.

Firstly and mainly, he will realise the self fulfilling prophecy and cyclical aspect of this life. In order to go back and effect these changes, Hyun-woo has to die and in that way (violently betrayed) so that he is motivated to destroy Soonyang once he becomes Do-jun.

Secondly Hyun-woo has to die in the course of brining Soonyang’s corruption to light, so that afterwards Do-jun can reveal himself, come back into the light and revel in the groups destruction. Do-jun can’t reveal himself if Hyun-woo is still alive: they’re in essence twins. Questions will be asked and mainly by Hyun-woo himself as to why they are identical. But no one is going to suspect foul play if there is clearly Hyun-woo’s body, in the centre of an international corruption scandal, with a well documented life working for Soonyang, who can’t speak for himself anymore to contradict Do-Jun’s and explanations.

Plus as time passes from Hyun-woos death people will forget *exactly* what he liked like and only remember that he resembled the prodigal son who has just returned, Do-jun.

So yeah, I think Do-Jun will have to spend the next ~20yrs working from the sidelines and background to make small issues and problems for Soonyang and the Jin family, kind of like how he did before he was revealed as the main investor in Miracle. Lots of sneaky work and near misses, kind of a death by a thousand cuts plan. And he will set up/add to/make worse the things he knows the family will do between now and present day, so that they will be caught by prosecutors in 2022. And when that time comes the whole group and family will be taken down in one go.

Anyway, that’s my thoughts on the world, we’ll have to wait and see if it’s correct! I haven’t read the web comic the who is based on so I have no idea what’s coming down the line.

Anyone agree? Or really disagree with these thoughts?