Whycaswhy - (Cas)tor

It just feels so good to talk loudly and talking at a “normal voice level” feels like having the thing you want most in the world right in front of you and being told you can’t touch it because other people will get mad. That’s why I’m either talking as loud as I possibly can or am completely silent. There is no in between.

i hate that i have no volume control. i try so, so hard to reel it in but when im happy, excited, relaxed, comfortable, etc. i talk and laugh loud. it’s as involuntary as laughter. i don’t realize until i get shushed, then i feel like my heart got stomped on. it’s so frustrating because i KNOW it is annoying but can’t seem to help it. getting called on it always takes me from happy to feeling awful in a millisecond

It’s soooo comforting to hear people have this same problem

any other arfid bitches get way more stressed about deciding what to eat than eating itself? cus the moment i have to decide what to eat for lunch I get really overwhelmed cus I want to make ramen because its safe and easy, but then I remember that I’ve eaten ramen for lunch the last 5 days in a row and if I dont eat anything with more sustenance ill get all lightheaded, so then I think of two other things I could make and almost cry trying to decide between them. 

sitting at the window forlornly, waiting for my husband (ao3) to come home from war (maintenance)

What I’ve spent the last 3 hours doing

- Watching “The Queen’s Gambit”

- Looking up Beth’s and Townes age difference

-Found out Beth is an INTJ

-Researched INTJs

-Read several articles talking about the difference between INTJs and INTPs

-Went to Pinterest and looked at INTP memes

-Saw one that said “Takes IQ quizzes for fun”

-Took an online IQ quiz. Had to pay for results.

- Took an online quiz AGAIN. Had to pay for results AGAIN.

-Did one that claimed to be free. Had to pay for results.

-Saw an article recommending one free quiz

- Took free quiz and enjoyed it :)

- Then took another quiz that was similar to that one to try and correct my simple mistakes from the first quiz

-Got a worse result on my second try

-Got sad and realized I just spent 3 hours doing all of that

Tl;dr : I have no concept of time . Pls help.