Whycaswhy - (Cas)tor - Tumblr Blog

Tumblr is such a bizarre experience for me. Like I come on here once or twice a month, write about whatever’s bothering me, and then dip to go look at tumblr posts on Pinterest.

I /need/ something to do but everything seems too overwhelming to do.

Anyone else understimulated but overstimulated

Like I need something or I’m gonna go crazy but I also need everything to stop or I’m gonna go crazy

What I’ve spent the last 3 hours doing

- Watching “The Queen’s Gambit”

- Looking up Beth’s and Townes age difference

-Found out Beth is an INTJ

-Researched INTJs

-Read several articles talking about the difference between INTJs and INTPs

-Went to Pinterest and looked at INTP memes

-Saw one that said “Takes IQ quizzes for fun”

-Took an online IQ quiz. Had to pay for results.

- Took an online quiz AGAIN. Had to pay for results AGAIN.

-Did one that claimed to be free. Had to pay for results.

-Saw an article recommending one free quiz

- Took free quiz and enjoyed it :)

- Then took another quiz that was similar to that one to try and correct my simple mistakes from the first quiz

-Got a worse result on my second try

-Got sad and realized I just spent 3 hours doing all of that

Tl;dr : I have no concept of time . Pls help.

I find my own blindness so funny sometimes. Like I’ll just take off my glasses and laugh at how blurry the world is 😂

sitting at the window forlornly, waiting for my husband (ao3) to come home from war (maintenance)

These remind me of when I was little and would take pedisures so I wouldn’t have to eat. I’m sadly lactose intolerant now so I can’t take these unless I want severe stomach pain😭

SELECT ITEM FROM INVENTORY

Wallet

Insect

Mace Pepper Spray

XP Boost

[Health Potion]

>Put back.

>>Use.

*cartoon gulping sfx*

+50 HP

+10 DP

“Any food is better than no food”, I repeat, like a mantra, while I force down McDonald’s for breakfast.

It’s soooo comforting to hear people have this same problem

any other arfid bitches get way more stressed about deciding what to eat than eating itself? cus the moment i have to decide what to eat for lunch I get really overwhelmed cus I want to make ramen because its safe and easy, but then I remember that I’ve eaten ramen for lunch the last 5 days in a row and if I dont eat anything with more sustenance ill get all lightheaded, so then I think of two other things I could make and almost cry trying to decide between them. 

My body says I'm hungry, my head says "I want REAL food" but... what even is "real" food? None of my safe foods feel like "real" food, and all of my unsafe foods ofc doesn't seem like "real" food either

How am I suppose to enjoy food when all the food I do eat makes be feel sick, bloated, constipated, etc.

i am once again asking for the venn diagram of "foods i can eat due to arfid" and "foods that help my sensitive stomach" to have an overlapping section in the middle. please. i'm asking nicely.

One of my own biggest issues with holiday meals like Thanksgiving and Christmas is that people always comment something like;

"All this good food and you're only eating that?"

Life would be so much better if it was common courtesy not to comment on what other people eat :/

I just have to vent.

Having an arfid is miserable.

Growing up being told "I feel sorry for whoever wants to take YOU on a date" and "If you were my kid I would've made you starve!" And "you're so spoiled because you are a picky eater" is so fucked up when none of it is your choice.

Living your life worried about how *other people* look at your meals is fucking awful. Coming home from dinners hungry is fucking awful. Being seen as a problem bc of your limited diet is fucking awful.

And trying to explain it when people get so offended. "It's not a texture issue because these two foods are pretty much the same texture so you should like both!" and "but this is my family recipe and I made it so im going to be hurt if you don't suffer through it and pretend that you like it!"

I just hate food. It's not my bc of my body, it's not my weight, it's not bc I'm disrespectful or vain or spoiled or whatever else.

Neurotypicals stop caring what other people eat or don't eat challenge.

You want me to find a quiet place to study? The thing that put Haruhi Fujioka in debt?

Me: Okay my essay is due tomorrow morning so I should just start it now to make my life easier.

Me: Alright just gotta put on some music on my phone *see my Ao3 tab* well I’ll just finish this fic and then start

5 hours later

Me: Oh shit

why did I, someone who is very busy, think it was a good idea to check ao3

Necromancer is such a fun word and I wish I could use it more in my life.

No cause you’re so right- 🖐😭

Takemichi and Mikey fell in love and decided to make it everyone else’s problem.

My mom always bragged to everyone about how much I loved school like it was a good thing. Like ma’am, I loved school cause it gave 8 hours away from home.

I always find myself wishing I was really sick or hurt so that I could be treated with at least an ounce of respect or care from my family or that I would have an excuse to be left alone for a day. Like I would legit wish I got the flu or would break a bone one day just so I would have an excuse to be treated well.

You should not have to prove how badly you’re doing to receive empathy, compassion, and care. You deserve to be heard, even when you don’t appear to be falling apart.

My least favorite food is chicken (or really any type of meat ) cause I like the flavour but hate the texture 👍

(also leave me and my comfort bra alone)

you: i don’t really have sensory issues

also you:

hates your least favorite food because of the texture

wears the same 5 year old bra every day

wearing lots of jewelry irritates you

hates touching wet/soggy things

wore your socks inside out as a kid/always wear the same kind of socks

why won't that ticking noise stop!!

despises shirts with rough tags

It just feels so good to talk loudly and talking at a “normal voice level” feels like having the thing you want most in the world right in front of you and being told you can’t touch it because other people will get mad. That’s why I’m either talking as loud as I possibly can or am completely silent. There is no in between.

i hate that i have no volume control. i try so, so hard to reel it in but when im happy, excited, relaxed, comfortable, etc. i talk and laugh loud. it’s as involuntary as laughter. i don’t realize until i get shushed, then i feel like my heart got stomped on. it’s so frustrating because i KNOW it is annoying but can’t seem to help it. getting called on it always takes me from happy to feeling awful in a millisecond

But like imagine Tony’s reaction to finding out they’re married 😭

posting this into the void of tumblr asking for parkner au writers to please make this into an au where harley is him and peter is the one who’s like “hey why not”

I relate to this so much that it hurts 🥲

i want to be feminine in the way a man is feminine. i want to wear flowy clothes and have it perceived not as if im subscribing to gender-"typical" clothing. i want to be cute in a femboy sense. i want to not automatically be seen as a "woman"